>walk into theater bathroom to pee >see open urinals What do?

Shit in them

Wait until I get home. I have a shy bladder.

>>78941647
Are you implying that there would a problem?

>>78941670
fpbp

>>78941647
Limp into the disabled bathroom.

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>>78941670
One day you'll figure this bathroom stuff out, Pajeet...
One day.....

>>78941711
Why would you limp? Just showing your face would be enough.

>>78941711

>I'm disabled!

>>78941775
....Acid

Proper selection is second from the left.

Because of the shitty modern interior design last time I peed into the bathroom sink instead of the urinal

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I'm a 21 year old male and have never used a urinal ever in my life.

>>78941806
No it isn't. It's the furthest away from the door.

>>78941824
You didn't have to include the male part for two reasons, you know that?

>>78941647
I use my penis to pee inside of the open urinal.

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>>78941711
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDZzl9AyXeg

use the one in the corner, face it at a 30 degree angle, and lean in as much as possible so no one sees my chode

It's because these exist that I realised that I have a small penis

>>78941847
Not the furthest but so what? Is that too far for you to walk?
It means you won't have people walking behind you to get to the next one over.

>>78941915
What kind of homo are you that you're looking at other peoples dick? Not once in my all my life have I ever seen another guys junk using urinals, even really crowded ones.

>>78941915
Funny, I had the opposite experience

Anyone else notice that manlets always go into a stall to pee? Even if there are tons of open urinals with dividers.

>>78941970
>What kind of homo are you
D-do you really want to know?

>>78941932
>proper selection is second from the left
>no it isn't, proper selection is the furthest away from from the door
>UM SECOND FROM THE LEFT ISN'T THE FURTHEST OKAY IS THAT TOO FAR FOR YO UTO WALK? I KNOW YOU SAID PICK THE FURTHEST ONE WHICH MEANS MORE WALKING DISTANCE BUT I'M GOING TO ACCUSE YOU OF NOT WANTING TO WALK BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING IDIOT WHO CAN'T READ

>>78941775
How are you disabled?

>>78941970
Looking a dick that is literaly 30cm away from you is far from being gay

Start on the right than shuffle back and forth using every urinal. Don't flush.

>>78941775
underrated

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDZzl9AyXeg

>>78942061
leg disabled

Make you /tv/ cucks libtards suck my big fat /pol/cock and cum and shout MAGA

>>78941932
>It means you won't have people walking behind you to get to the next one over.

But that's exactly what they're having to do to go to the left-most one.

>>78941887
>>78942128
beat me to it oops

>>78941647
Literally everywhere in my country, the only thing it made me realise was that most of the other guys are feeling exactly the same way and really have little interest in seeing your dick or you seeing theirs.
And if your dick is sub-average, well, you knew that before going to that toilet. To be honest, if that's the problem, just catch a peek sometime. Will bring your confidence right back up, especially since in cinema you can notice that the small dicked guys can indeed pull sexy/cute/loyal-looking women as their dates/relationships.

*pulls pants down to ankles*

>>78942032
>"No it isn't. It's the furthest from the door"

First of all, your statement was vague and secondly who the fuck pees in a corner?

>>78942095
It would be too awkward to start using a measuring tape

>>78941824
I only use urinals in public. At home I pee sitting down.

>>78941806
How do you not know how to use the urinals?

>>78942183
whoops!

>>78942148
Do you have a wheelchair?

how many of you guys are really having anxiety issues when peeing on public? i mean, i've always wondered the whole mental phenomenom after i found out that many of my friends have issues with the whole thing, so im kind of curious.

>>78942250
This.
Why wouldn't you want to use the urinal furthest away from the door so that you could stand slightly diagonally with your front facing the corner.

>>78942204
Straight guys always goes to the one next to the door.
If you want to hook up in public bathroom you go to the one furthest from the door and wait.

>tfw you try and pee as loudly as possible so others know you're not shy

>>78941711
Didn't you hear the news, being a virgin over 16 means you are disabled.

I usually take 2-3 steps away and unleash. Not only do I show off my piss marksmanship, but the betas next to me realize they can't compete with my schlong. Sometimes I might get a few droplets of piss on them but they're too wussy to say anything.

>Nobody takes the centre urinal

Nobody here is willing to make the power move.

>>78942281
I wouldn't want others thinking that I portray myself as a man for using the urinals.

>>78942334
>tfw having a small bladder

>>78942379
>tfw 20 years old and having to get up in the middle of the night to pee
Pure suffering.

>>78942204
There was nothing vague about it you're just a literal retard

its only a problem if i have to pee but not that much.
then it takes a second for it comes out but it feels like a hour if there are other people there.

whenever i used the urinal and somebody came in, i could not pee for some reason, now i just avoid it and go to the stall.

>>78941647
>Circumcised
>Kike doctor who did it fucked up and nicked into my urethra opening
>When I pee it goes all over the fucking place like a sprinkler
>Have to pee sitting down

I want to kill all the Jews tbqh

if I don't know anyone
>piss right next to someone and rip a fart because I'll never see them again

if I'm with someone I recognize
>awkwardly pretend to text and wait for them to piss first

>>78941647
I like to run sideways while pinching/unpiching.
BTW I'm 38, this is my only joy.

>>78942411
see a doctor

>>78942456
>tfw of Jewish descent but had atheist parents who let me keep my foreskin

Feels pretty good

>>78942499
I got a kidney problem so thats probably it

i always considered it impolite to not size up each other's dicks at the urinal, like even just giving a little nod or heads up to show the other guy you appreciate that you both have penises

it's healthy to remind all of ourselves of the differences between us and no matter how big or small his penis is we share the same deal with that said i still prefer the stall because if you have people on both sides of you it's harder to share the experience since you have to move your head left and right

>>78942424
You really don't understand that you did not specify what you were referring to by "it" at all? In context that could either refer to the correct urinal, or the second-from-the-left urinal that I was referring to. I'm not you, Anon (Thank god), I don't know what you're thinking. That's why we use language.

>>78942479
What if you accidently shart yourself?

How does australian urinals even work, if there are any?

remember anons, two shakes is enough, more than that and you're playing with it.

>>78942635
I'm considering starting using them but do not want to be seen as a weirdo.. please define a shake

>>78942635
>shakes
Doesn't get all of it out. Press up on your gooch to squeeze the piss out that would normally dribble out when you sheathe.

>>78942635
okay ill it drip on my pants because anon told me on the interwebs this is the only way

>>78942662

in between a shake and a squeeze

>>78942681
>>78942719

real men always drip a little, its the only way to get that dick musk.

>>78942719
would wrapping my willy with toilet paper be weird? it would catch any drops what didn't get out

>>78942807
I always dab a bit of paper on my coc

>>78942790
squeeze? what

I never did any squeezing. what purpose does this serve? where do I squeeze, and how hard and for how long?

>>78942807
>>78942826
>ill use paper like a girl while at a urinal
shake till you stop dripping you fucktwats

>>78942635
what if I milk it like an udder

>>78942843
its not a actuall squeeze.
but close, and dont forget the shaking.

>>78942873
then your playing with it.

>>78942826
>on

heh

>>78942858
Not at a urinal. Don't think they even have paper available within arms reach most of the time anyway.

I will use it when I'm at home or if I use the private cubicle restroom type thing though.

>>78941887

I fucking lose it every time

>>78942893
you still didn't tell me about where, how hard and for how long. also it's purpose

>>78942826
just rub it on the pants of the dude next to you

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>>78941647

>>78942949
Do I ask permission first or is it like an unwritten rule type thing that its OK to do?

>>78942947

its not that hard anon, why dont you try it and see what happens.

>>78942949
that only works in a gay club if your really alpha

>>78942999
Permission is assumed, using the urinal is a contractual sort of thing.

>>78942999
I'd be disrespectful if you didn't

>>78941647

what insecure people think: everyone will see my massively huge dong if i pee in a urinal

what really happens: nobody gives a shit about your dick and you can't actually see much unless you're standing too far back and trying to show your dick off. nobody cares if it's big or small or average. You're there to pee not get married despite what the average closeted bicurious 4chan poster would have you believe.

For how many seconds do you guys pee..? whenever I happen to listen in on someone peeing they always pee for what seems like forever. also the intensity of their stream sounds quite loud too.

I pee for like 6 seconds tops, including the stream dying down. This isn't normal, is it?

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>>78943097
female poster spotted

>>78943131

what?

>>78942873
kek

>>78943129
Drink more water Anon, it's good for you.
Especially if your pee is darker yellow and smells.

>>78941751
You're a funny guy anon

>>78943058
>>78942999
No, the first rule is no talking in the mens room.

>>78942635
I've hated this meme since i was a kid and didn't know what fapping was. Keep on wetting your underwear faggot, meanwhile i'll be dry and clean.

>>78943256
I get it now. Non verbal communication only; only eye contact and such.

>>78942061
Leg... disabled

>>78943129
depends. I don't pee for very long because I drink a lot of water and thusly pee often (my pee is almost clear quite often)

>>78943232
Thanks

Will do

Perhaps the reason for me drinking like 4-5 glasses of water every time coming home from work was because of my lack of water drinking.

Whip out my micropenis and use the cubical.

>>78943305
>Keep on wetting your underwear faggot, meanwhile i'll be dry and clean.
fucking this

especially if I'm wearing sweatpants, then fuck that shit, I'll stand there and shake for a full thirty seconds if I have to

>>78941647
memes aside, what's the problem here?

>>78943413
Read the thread, anon

Anyone else just stick a napkin or some toilet paper in their underwear to solve the dripping problem? I've heard faggots with mutilated jew dicks don't suffer from this problem

If you're a pro, then the real way to pee is to stand at a urinal and aim your dick so you piss in the urinal of the guy next to you. Bonus man points if you both do it and cross the streams.

>>78943376
>wearing sweatpants

where's the /fa/ggots when you need them

>>78943486
Why not simply put some paper in the foreskin? It would look less weird.

>>78943554
That would itch though

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>over 100 posts in
>no one posted the pic
Really reddit?

>>78943597
What would the procedure be to solve this problem?

face backward and bend your dick between your legs to pee

>>78943624
I would wrap it in a second, possibly thicker bag, tie it up, and toss it off the roof.

>>78943624
pop the bag and pray to jesus there is some type of drain on the ground

>>78943597
whenever I see this image, that thing sticking out about to pop the bag always makes me nervous

>>78943667
That would require you to lift the bag which would most likely result in it ripping

>>78943675
Why not make sure there is a drain beforehand?

>>78943718
i like to live dangerously

>>78943624
use a drinking straw and your mouth to siphon it off into a working urinal

I piss in a stall
I'm too fat to use a urinal unless I pull my pants down, and I'm NOT going to make myself that guy

>>78943624
pop the bag and leave the piss on the floor and act like it happened while you werent working

>>78943750
Siphoning only works if the draining end is lower and that is the lowest urinal.

>>78943624
the better question

would you have the balls to piss in the bag?
it's about to burst

>>78941824
>I'm a 21 year old mambabby and have never used a urinal ever in my life.

fixed, just like my cat, lol

>>78943762
>"hey anon, it seems like we need your help at the men's restrooms. it's nothing big, but the restrooms need to be available as you know."

>>78943816
no I mean with your mouth

suck in some with a straw, hold it over the next one, release the suction, repeat

>>78943816
He probably meant to lay on the back and then siphon it into his mouth then spit it into the urinal manually

>>78943624
pump it in a drain?

>>78943826
I would rather pee on the floor hoping that someone would slip on it and accidently fall onto the bag bursting it

breddy gud thread desu

we should have more theater trashing threads too

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>>78943937
thanks for the mental image anon

>>78943826
I'd do it solely so the bag'd burst

>>78943981
With you standing right next to it?

>>78943999
crouching

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I have been pissing sitting-down only since the age of 10. Can't even pass urine while standing up no matter how hard i need to pee.

Feels bad man.

>>78944049
You literally can't pee yourself then by standing up? I can't even count on my fingers the embarrassment which could have been prevented if I had your gift.

>>78944049
yeah same, I can only pee standing up if I'm by myself, aand I prefer to sit anyway

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>>78944091
imagine being on a festival, drinking 4-5 bottles of beer in the matter of hour and finding out the only toilet avaliable has a queue of around 30-40 people, mostly females
>'come on anon, lets take a piss in the woods'
>'haha ok'
>every mate is urinating, while i just pretend to do it, feeling the fluid pressing against my pubic bone, hurting like hell

>>78944206
>in an attempt to relieve yourself you pretend to be squatting with your back to them turned. each time you squat you burst some pee

My girlfriends mom told me that in her house all men have to pee sitting down so it doesnt splash and get things dirty.
>tfw hate peeing sitting down

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>>78944343
if only i was /fit/ enough

the story ended with me separating from the group, pretending to go buy myself some food, and i wandered to the absolute opposite edge of the field in search for an empty toilet.

Took me so long i was feeling like passing out when i finally relieved myself. Even then my bladder was still stinging and hurt me for the next hour or so, it was so stretched out.

I always use the stall for a few reasons.

>takes forever for me to get all my pee out. Usually have to step back a moment and then start again
>the hole in my penis is slightly too low, which often results in a sprinkler effect when peeing

It's irritating, but I fear the after effects of penis surgery.

>>78942061
Well, he's posting on 4chan for one...

>>78944506
how can you even fix it?

>>78944473
The breath hold technique used by people with a shy bladder could help you. It's uncomfortable a little but you can force yourself to pee anywhere, standing or sitting.

>>78941970
>He doesn't look at other guys dick using the urinal

Why the hell do you think urinals exist in the first place?

>>78944594
Make a new hole in the right spot, I guess.

The wasn't such an issue for most of my life. In fact, I didn't realize the hole was in the wrong spot. But I've had kidney stones many times, and the most recent one just wouldn't pass on its own, so they reached up into my penis and grabbed it. I was unconscious for that, but apparently they left a stent inside to keep the swelling from preventing my urinating. Then a few days later, they reached up and pulled the stent out without putting me under anesthesia of any kind. It was unbelievably painful and made blood pour out of my dick for the rest of the day.
Ever since then, peeing has been arduous and frustrating. I can never seem to get it all out, have to run back to the bathroom frequently, and get the sprinkler effect all the time. And this is the least of my health issues.
If there is a god, he surely hates me.

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>>78944784
they should do multiple new ones, like pic related, imagine how much pussy you would get at parties

>>78944779
>went to america
>urinals were twice the size
>all had privacy walls

lol

>>78945003
It's R. Kelly's dream come true.

I can't be fucked with urinals. Shout out to my cubicle bros.

>>78941647

119 replies

fucking hell, even mods don't care no more

we broke them

like bane

also, check out my ebin reddit spacing

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>>78945843
really like the spacing my man!!

Pick the one farthest from anyone. If they're all empty take the one furthest from the door. If the first, third and fifth are already taken pretend to do some other shit for a minute.

>>78942826
>dab
fuck off pogba

>>78945969

thanks,

my friend

they are

all

yours

!

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>>78941689
Was coming to post this. I can't even go if they are only stalls, I need a closable room for myself and even then its hard if there's a lot of noise outside.

>see open urinals
>What do?
This sounds like a fucking neogaf problem thread. Just unzip your trousers and pee into the damn thing you social criple.

>>78941824
I basically got a urinal-phobia from my school days.

i like to use a stall so i can give my dick an extra wipe on a piece of tp in case there are any droplets left that shaking hasn't dislodged

>>78946114
Jesus Christ that's fucking pathetic.
I could get not wanting to shit in public but pissing? In your own closed stall?

>>78942873
I stopped doing this as I'm afraid it might cause damage in the long term

>>78946165
normies OUT

>>78942248
my nigga

its mostly because my toilet is really comfy though

>>78941647
This thread is STILL up

Is pissposting the new gold standard?

>>78946229
Public toilets are scary, they're really big and filled with lots of water. Plus people can hear you pee which makes me insecure

>>78946318
hehe
you said gold

I hate this shit

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>new job
>go into toilet
>see this

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>>78941647
piss in them? Thats why theyre there...

>>78946498
nothing wrong with being short buddy

>>78942584
He's in a theater, not a mart.

>>78946402
but anon EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE DOING, nobody will say, ''omg were you PEEING IN THE TOILET? HAHAHAHAH LOSER''

>>78942248
>>78946314
low test cucks detected

>>78946498
it seems fun but don't piss in it
you'll either have to take a couple steps back to get a nice ark or you'll get piss spray on your knees

>>78941647
a few months back i was at a bar with my brother, and i went to the bathroom to find a small room with just urinals, walked straight out.

Everyone ITT is a normalfag
>being allowed in a theater
>meaning you passed NSP
>you're not alone
>you have friends and/or family
>at least someone willing to spend time with you
fuck off

>>78941883
What if he was a girl?

>>78942635
There is literally no reason to shake your dick after peeing unless you have phimosis.

>>78943305
So much this.

>>78942447
and we urinal people laugh at your kind.

>shit in shower
>piss in sink
>wash face in toilet bowl (cleaned)
anyone else?

>>78941647
Use them because I'm not an insecure manbaby.