What will be his opening statement?

>>78907007
You're a big girl.

"Thanks for the lightsaber"

>>78907007
DIPSET!

>>78907007
AHHHH! AWAY PUT YOUR WEAPON! I MEAN YOU NO HARM!

>the force.. awakens.

File: 3920.jpg (122KB, 1043x720px) Image search: [Google]

122KB, 1043x720px

statement.

>>78907007
for you.

File: swinddled.jpg (143KB, 1464x1058px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 1464x1058px

>>78907046
YOU SWINDLED ME!

tits or gtfo

Huhhh?

>>78907021
"Was the hand still attached?"

>>78907007
"Finally, after all these years... The Force Awakens..."

>''He was a good friend, and a cunning warrior.''

>>78907007
Where is my sister ?

>>78907154
After her husband's death she lost her will to live

>>78907123
"At last we have become The Last Jedi"

>>78907007
Donald Trump is not my president. *winks at camera*

"Why is a Xenomorph in Star Wars?"
*Force pushes her off cliff*

>>78907363
>every line he says is a /tv/ meme
fund it

I eat ass.

I got a bad feeling about this

Nothing. He'll just make Michael Jackson noises the whole movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e62M-5-7ajY

>>78907308
"Well, folks.......It looks like Rogue Won!"

>Ah my father's lightsaber, he was the best star pilot in the galaxy...and he was a good dad.

HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US

I'm Star Wars, The Last Jedi

Rey? I'm Jedi.

>>78907007

>"Let me tell you about the Jews and their lies"

>>78907007
A woman ? What's next, the female fucking Ghostbusters ?

>>78907007
ayyyy lmao

>>78907007
>... Star
>*Coughs for one minute straight*
>Wars

Oh, hey. I just found out my sister died in a plane crash that happened just now. Ok, let's start your training.

>>78907396
P O T T E R Y

War! There are mary sues on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

"lol I know my friend of forty years just died but FUCK TRUMP amirite millennials?"

>>78907007
Fuck drumpf and fuck white people.

There was also a hand that was attached with that!

"An onion".

>Ah I have seen that you have been in a star wars tm
>*looks directly at camera*
>it is nice to meet you, I was in a star wars tm and I am the last jedi tm
>*makes a funny face*
>so where is han?
>*entire theatre gets up and claps*

You guys are all wondering what Luke Skywalker is gonna say when what you should be wondering is what the end of movie twist will be.
Will it be M. Night Shyamalan tier.

Who are you? Where's Han? Why isn't my sister here?
My feet hurt.

>>78907007
Imagine being Arnold in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Jamie Curtis, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 16 year old in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Arnold and not only sit in that chair while Jamie Lee Curtis flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her stretchmarks and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that dance. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, JAMIE LEE CURTIS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of blondes and supermodels and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Austria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Arnold. You're not going to lose your future political career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

Do you know where we are? I think I'm lost.

so who talks first you talk first i talk first?

File: 1482555412321.jpg (60KB, 500x750px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 500x750px

>Luke approaches Rey, who holds out his father's lightsaber
>Rey turns on the weapon, and the blade skewers Luke in the chest
>as he falls down to the ground, he looks up to her, confused
>"You? But...why...?"
>as Luke draws his last breath, someone starts clapping off-screen
>Rey spins around, the lightsaber still on
>Kylo Ren steps out from behind the ruins
>"I really didn't think you had it in you."
>Rey smiles she turns off the lightsaber.
>"Well, I had you in me, didn't I?"
>she winks
>Reylo fucking confirmed

>Jedi...
>if I give you this lightsaber, would you die?
>it would be extremely painful
>You are a big Jedi
>For you
*turns into a Sith and starts a battle with Rey*

File: 1467479969641.webm (1MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1280x720px

"Kept you waiting, huh?"

>>78907007

"Sharpie in pooper"

It would immediately be a cult classic

>>78907007
"Impeach Trump now"

>>78908290
kek

something r*ddit like this probably

>these pretzels.. are making me.. thirsty!

>I've been waiting for you

File: IMG_4022.jpg (37KB, 609x745px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 609x745px

>>78908290
Was going to post this

>>78907068
Whaddya say Jeffrey? W?

>>78907007
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BMP-H2ydJk

File: 1462495273419.png (599KB, 473x704px) Image search: [Google]

599KB, 473x704px

I already know how it's gonna go down

Luke is going to refuse to train her. He is still torn up by what happened with Kylo, and he is going to be even more convinced after he finds out Kylo killed Han.

He is going to refuse to train Rey, but is going to take it up on himself to go stop Kylo, because he blames himself for it. Kylo or Snoke is going to kill Luke, a la Darth Vader killing Obi Wan.

Luke is going to contact Rey via force ghost and tell her to go finish her training from The Last Jedi, which is going to be Mace Windu in hiding.

Search your feelings. You know this to be true. Screencap this post.

>"Good to see you here, BATSY!"

>>78907007
We cannot allow the oppression of Trump to continue. #nastywoman

what's good homeboy

>>78909203
why would she even have to train if she's the reincarnation of the Force Goddess?

>>78909203
But it's current year. I don't think Mace Windu is black enough.

The jedi were a mistake.

>>78909137
AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY

>>78907007
Dr Pavel, I'm CIA

>>78907007
"Ladies, gentlemen, and good friends of the audience... It is me, Luke, The Last Jedi™"

Finn and Poe are going to have a gay romance just fucking watch

>>78907007
Greetings, I am Luke Skywalker: the Last Jedi

>>78909502
A Pizza Hut in the garage?

>>78909203
Also Finn is going to be captured by the female stormtrooper captain (just like han was captured by fett)

>>78909676
>Some time will have past since the end of TFA
>Rey will have a new haircut to signify this
>The camera pans through Luke's meager dwelling
>The audience's attention is caught by grunts and yells from the outside
>The shot changes and we see Rey and Luke, training
>Luke jives and jabs with his practice saber - red in the face
>Rey manages to block each of his blows, taking calm and controlled steps backward
>Then, Luke goes in for the big strike
>She deflects it and steps to the side
>Her foot out
>Luke trips and falls to the ground
>He turns around and she presses her practice saber against his chest
>"You always get too emotional when we spar, Master Skywalker!"
>He laughs
>"What's that then? 18 days in a row you've won?"
>She scowls
>"23 if you running away counts as a loss."

>>78909881
>"I have taught you everything I know, and you have absorbed it at an incredible rate"
>Luke kneels at Rey's feet
>"Now please, teach me, Rey, Jedi Master"
>Luke twists his hair into a padawan braid

>>78907007
"Fuck Trump and fuck white people"

Your father, Sheev and I fought in the galactic civil war. He was a great pilot and a good friend. Darth Sidious killed your father.

>>78907007
>Extended silence
>Shot on Rey's worried face
>Back to luke
>... SO TRUMP
>Cue laughing track

>>78907007
"That's not muh puddin. It sposed to be puddin day."

"I hate sand"

>>78909881
She's so damned marysue I would only be a little surprised if this were the case.

"After all this time...I've become The Last Jedi"

>>78907007
>I don't like swamps
>they're smelly and slimy and the water gets everywhere

"They told me you were gone! I knew you were alive! But you shouldn't have come... they'll track you here."

"Wot. Me?! Who told you? Track me? Maz Kanata kept your old lightsaber. Terrible things have happened, we need you. Your sister needs you!"

>>78911338
"I think you're looking for Luke. He went grocery shopping. I'm Luuke."

>>78909137
WHAT THE FUCK?

>it's over, I have the high ground!

>"Rey what are your flaws? I just force watched episode 7 and it didn't really seem like you were a multifaceted character at all. "

File: an.jpg (284KB, 2048x1362px) Image search: [Google]

284KB, 2048x1362px

>>78909203
>yfw they unlock time travel in Star Wars and bring young Han Solo and Leia back

"General Organa died on the way back to her home planet"

"Have you seen my sister? Is she still alive?"

I hope we see grandpa luke acting like a badass and gets in a saber fight

"finally, we have seen the Return of the Jedi"

>>78911666
The Minivilization?

>I told them to send Asian twins!

>>78907007
Hello, daughter. I'm glad you're here to join the resistance against Chancellor Trumpletine.

Do you hate sand?

>>78907007
>"I've got your back kid"
>*winks*

>>78909647
What's a woman?

>snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...delegates I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite faithless delegates yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....constitutional conservatism.....quite true my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

>>78907007
fuck white people lmao

>>78907007
>Is my sister with you? I feel like she and I have many, many more adventures ahead of us.

I've been waiting for you rey

>>78907007
"Rey, a new sith evil has emerged. Darth Trump is racist, homophobic, transphobic, and he's orange. We must stop him before he ruins the galaxy forever."

>>78907007
"Hello there"

>implying it won't open with a shot of an open casket of Leia's dead CGI body then somehow segue into this shit later

calling it

>>78907007
>Oh look, it's the falcon. Where's Han?

>>78914356
Fisher had all of her epVIII scenes done. You're gonna be disappointed

Some funny shit like

>Soooo...hello

File: IMG_3883.png (273KB, 684x519px) Image search: [Google]

273KB, 684x519px

>>78914516
>When you realize Trump derangement syndrome is not only real, but is going to ruin the quality of entertainment for years because of the mass triggering.

>>78907046

Then he slapped me with his penis!

>>78907031
underrated

>>78907007
If it's a quip I'm shooting myself, screencap this

Do you talk first or should I?

"After the role of a lifetime, I've been keeping busy"

>>78908036
kylo will join the rebels, rey will join snoke. literally confirmed at this point

File: 63524.jpg (29KB, 572x298px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 572x298px

>>78907007

>"Keep it."
>Then proceeds to unsheathe his green one like a boss

Obviously.

>After all these Star Wars, The Last Jedi stands before me
Jesus Christ, really?

>>78914567
First scene is always empty space for the intro text, then a pan to a spaceship or a planet. And if many or most of Leia's scenes were shot before her death she's going to appear in this film fully, and her funeral is postponed to the start of episode 9.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O1hM-k3aUY

>this isn't my world...

File: GOAT_lightsaber.jpg (112KB, 1536x1021px) Image search: [Google]

112KB, 1536x1021px

>>78915181
This is what a REAL lightsaber looked like, before the art direction changed to "neon light with a grip".

>>78907567
"You now know the consequences of the construction of a new Death Star; Wars."

>>78907007
Bane?

>>78907007
I AM COMPLEEEEETE

>>78908852
It's got my vote

File: 1485380310637.jpg (40KB, 630x418px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 630x418px

>>78909203
>mahreysue crash lands some random ass abandoned planet
>it's a swamp planet
>finds an old disfigured mace dindu
>so, you must be 'STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI tm'
>NOT
>YET

>>78907068
g will you make me a sandwich

>>78916118
NOH

>>78907007
>You're late. We have much to do!

File: images.jpg (7KB, 259x194px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 259x194px

>>78907007
>Finally after all these years.. pussy.

>>78916338
>Wait, are we related? No? Ah well, better than nothing I guess.

>>78907007
Chocolate

ovaries

>>78908834

This.

Then the story will carry on to jump shark after shark in the same fashion

>>78914516

Is Maz Trump?

>Orange
>Small hands
>Rings around eyes
>Business owner

pottery

SOM FINNA

>>78907007

id like to think that he will sing "bad" by michael jack in its entirety

"That's a name I haven't heard in a long time"

File: episode 7 mundi.png (1MB, 934x624px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 934x624px

Rey, what about the droid attack on the wookiees?

>>78907007
"You have nothing to learn from me Rey, you're so awesome and cool and perfect in everyway, and I can tell you're already more powerful than I am. You taught yourself mind tricks in 10 seconds, how cool is that? Truly you are The Last Jedi™ because I am not worthy of even the title Padawan before your might. "

>>78907007
Statement

>Now, Rey, you must continue the unbroken line of Jedi by having a child.

>>78917588
Goddamnit Ki is creepy as fuck in high res

>>78907007
>YOU ARE UNWISE TO LOWER YOUR DEFENSES
>kills Rey