How do I get a body like Joe?

Alpha Brain

>>78902489
those heavy gorilla faces that you can pick up and bulletproof coffee

>have you ever seen a lion fuck

be a manlet

>>78902489
stop masturbating

>>78902549
>have you ever seen a lion fuck
Jaime, pull up that video of that lion licking his own balls after eating an antelope. . . that's it right there. . . yeah, that's i n s a n e, dr Rhonda Patrick, why can't we do that? Reach our own genital with our mouths- well some people can *brings the mic closer and whispers in a low voice* You dirty fucks *laughs* I bet there's some dude listening giving himself a blowjob, you never know. I think it would solve a lot of our problems if people weren't so obsessed with getting those bjs from somewher- click on the top there Jaime. . . *extended silence* That is CRAZY! Whoaw, so what this article is saying is how I'm descended from a mushroom? What the fuck- well hmm I guess it could make sense. Who knows? Listen we're just monkeys on a rock hurling through space and our brains are still full of monkey shit, who knows maybe we DO come from fungus, I think the next step in evolution is uh *loses train of thought* uhh uh right so we'll start ouwgm- augmenting our bodies artificially

>>78902867

That monkeys gotta be what? 400 pounds? Jamie, pull up that video.

>>78902489
Steroids!

sourdough bread

File: joe-rogan.jpg (17KB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 480x270px

>>78902867
That is... B I Z A R R E

File: 1484891540565.gif (35KB, 200x276px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 200x276px

*blocks your path at the bar*
*admires your physique but in an alpha male kind of manner*

he was secretly eating the extra bull testicles off camera during Fear Factor

>>78902489
Saw him this weekend commentating on a fight. Dude looked rough as shit. All bloated and sweaty. The term human meatball came to mind for some reason.

You gotta get off on the fact that most men could pick your teeny tiny body up and WRECK YOU

File: sz6Yp8.gif (1MB, 320x180px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 320x180px

I SWEAR TO GOD JOE ROGAN IT WAS ME, DANNY BIANCULLO, 3 TRANNY HOOKERS, AND A MIDGET ALL DOING BLOW OUT OF STRIPPERS ASSHOLES RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING BANK ROBBERY, AS SOON AS WE HEARD SIRENS WE GRABBED THAT FUCKING MIDGET BY THE ANKLES SWUNG HIM AND KNOCKED THOSE TRANNY BITCHES OUT WITH THE MIDGET AND GOT AWAY WITH OVER A MILLION DOLLARS IN CASH, THOSE TRANNIES TOOK THE BLAME FOR THE ROBBERY AND WE SPENT ALMOST ALL OF THE MONEY ON BLOW IT WAS FUCKING TREMENDOUS JOE ROGAN.

KEEP YA MUFFLER CLEAN, AND STAY BLACK COCKSUCKAS!!

>>78902489
First off you must have a frame similar to his. If you don't, then don't be delusional, you will only be able to do the best with what you got.
Second, from what I heard Joe himself said, he's a very consistent guy when it comes from training and he doesn't ignore cardio.
Hit your weights consistently, eat well and forget about getting a body like his, train and teach yourself to like the process of training just for the sake of it and not for superficial results.

Anonymous ## Mod 2017-01-29 02:14:26 Post No.78903162
[Report]

Anonymous ## Mod 2017-01-29 02:14:26 Post No.78903162 [Report]

This thread was moved to >>>/fit/40191080