It's a dog eat dog world. And I'm the fucking chinaman.

Why did the chicken cross the road,Ray?

It doesn't matter, because I'm the road and nobody is crossing me

>>64911023
Kekd

crimes like this are a diamond dozen, and i'm the jewler.

The hunter always pays the mailman, but sometimes dead memes just won't stay dead.

Vinceposting please come back
I know you were too good for this board but we tried; we won't disappoint you again!

It's a derp eat derp world and I'm the fucking herp.

>>64910940
What's the meaning of all this? No I don't mean life, I don't mean what's the meaning of life, I mean what's the meaning of this mess you left on the living room floor.

>TFW TOO STUPID TO THINK OF A VINCE POST

;_;

>>64912623
I know that feeling f.am.

>>64912623
this is why this meme won't last

>>64910940
Sex is like an omlette, crack 'em twice and sprinkle some cheese on it.

>>64912623
I've been trying like an idiot for 10 minutes. Nothing.

My god, Wincent Waughn's hair is fucking outstanding in that picture.

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>>64913055
>>64913181
>>64913089

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>>64913164

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>>64910940
They say don't count your chickens before they hatch, but all my eggs are in one basket and it's breakfast time, Ray.

>>64913181
>>64913089
>>64913055
take a common saying and then put a twist on it, but a twist that doesn't really make sense.

like, "it's always darkest before the dawn, but a flashlight works no matter what time it is"

Ghandi said an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

So I opened an eyepatch store down on 42nd street.

>>64913242
I have the same hair when i dont shower for 2 days

"Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating"

>>64913356
My doctor tells me to stay away from complex carbohydrates but who can manage in a world full of bigmacs

was that good?

They say you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Well guess what, Ray? I'm the fucking mother hen.

>>64913529
Same. That perfect level of natural hair oil right before it gets so greasy it's plastered to your head, but right after it's so freshly washed it sticks out everywhere.

You know the old saying "An apple a day keeps the doctor away"?

I'm an orange, Ray

They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but I haven't shaved my dick in years Ray. Let's see what flies away.

>>64912623
Just think of a common saying and then take it too literally.

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They say a watched pot never boils.
But if you keep looking at me like that, Im going to burn your whole house down.

They say two wrongs don't make a right, Ray. Well, I took a left turn somewhere in life. Casper knew this.

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If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Well I'm the fire marshal, and I say this kitchen is out.

>They say to make an omelette you gotta' break a few eggs, Rey

>Well, I'm in the mood for a foot-high stack of scotch pancakes

Well if isn't the pot calling the kettle black. Well I'm the kettle and I say fuck you.

Walk a mile in my shoes Ray?

You can't, my shoes are size 15

Trust no one, not even yourself

My father told to never make a scene. Well you know what Ray? I'm the fucking director

They said I bit off more than I can chew, so I swallowed the whole fucking thing.

abandon thread

You may say I'm a big guy for you, but if you shoot at goliath he's hard to miss

What's good for the goose is good for the gander

Well I'm the fucking goose Ray, and you're my gander

What DIDN'T Casper know?

>>64913633
there wasnt a common saying in that

>>64914182
not this

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With great power comes great responsibility, but great responsibility comes with great power.

They say to speak softly and carry a big stick, ray, but right now my stick is soft and I'm speechless.

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>>64910940
>>64911023
>>64913305
>>64913654
>>64913763
>>64913770
>>64913927

>>64913991

was going to kill myself but you made me laugh

>>64913089

it's a top meme because it encourages creativity

>>64913917
They say a watched pot never boils...
But I'm about a simmer away from the burn ward.

They say lightning never strikes twice but guess what? I'm fucking Zeus Ray

>>64910940
The grass is always greener on the other side but cows can't see green and I'm the fucking bull, Ray.

Tip for tap Ray.
And I never tip.

It's not easy being green Ray

But I'm the fucking Hulk

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Fit as a fiddle? Well I'm a fuckin' Stradivarius, Ray and no plays me.

Fool me once, you're fucking dead.

>>64913356

I get the format. I just can't write some funny punch line that follows the saying. Some of these are genuinely funny. I guess I'll never be a true mememaster like some of you guys.

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The house always wins in the end. But I'm the one payin the fuckin mortgage.

A wise man once told me, "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer", and I don't have any friends, Ray.

Well if it isn't Ron Burgandy, and the Channel 4 news team.

>>64914644
But you got dubs so yeah

It's an unpredictable word we live in, ray. When life gives me lemons, i don't make lemonade - i make fucking orange juice

What are you saying, Ray? That life's hard?

Yeah, but thats why I have a helmet

>>64913654
Christ, I almost died here.

>>64910940

Tit for tat, Rey. I've been tat for as long as I can remember, and I still haven't seen a fucking tit.

They say it's best to kill two birds with one stone, but I'm a boulder and I'm smashing freshly cooked turkeys Ray

They say it takes two to tango, but I march to the beat of my own drum, Ray, and its in fucking 3/4 time.

I AM THE ARSE BANDIT RAY

Ray, if you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish he'll take all your fuckin' fish.

They say snitches get stitched Ray.
Well I'm the fucking doctor.

>>64914676

th-thanks

They say it takes two to tango, Ray. But I always preferred Fanta

"You teach a man to fish and you feed him for the rest of his life"

Well, i fed him to the fishes Ray, and they're STILL hungry

They want to fight fire with fire, Ray.
But they don't know that I'm 90% made of water, and so are they.

>>64914763
That's actually something Frank would say.

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>>64914715
>>64914710

>>64910940
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me thrice, shame on all of us, man was not meant to feel this level of anguish and sadness

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You know the difference between a Jedi and a whore, Anakin? Whores don't let you fuck them if you use force.

Lucky Strike: It's toasted!
I'm the fucking toaster Ray.

I got blue balls of the heart, Ray.

>They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, Ray. And I have a whole fucking orchard.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, Ray. But you feed that fish to a shark and you don't even need the man.

You know how they say measure twice, cut once?

Well I don't give a fuck what you do, Ray. Just remember I'm the ruler.

>>64914710
hahaha

They say not to cry over spilt milk, but my nipples won't stop fucking leaking

There should be a movie where people literally just say this shit to each other the whole time

They say some people never truly live until the day that they die, Ray. Ask me what I'm doing with this gun to my head Ray. Go on. Ask me. I'm getting a life *pulls trigger*.

This whole things a Japanese business deal Ray! And we're just the hired escorts!

You know that saying "Men are from earth, but women are from mars"?

Well I've got a whore house full of martians Ray

They say you gotta pick your battles. But what if the battles pick you, Ray?

>>64914875
Look at every Jimmy Cagney flick ever made you fucking pleb

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>>64914847
>>64914924

They say you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but I'm a fuckin dentist Ray.

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>Nic Pizzolatto, creator of the HBO TV series “True Detective”, was found dead today in Los Angeles. Police said he appeared to have hanged himself. He was 39.

>The officer responsible for investigating the death said that the writer had hanged himself with a cord from the suite’s curtains. A rope was also found around his genitals. Police said Pizzolatto’s body was taken to a hospital for an autopsy that would be carried out today.

>According to the hotel maid who found the body, his suicide note was "as poorly written as the second season" of his TV show. "Certain experiences you can't survive, and afterward you don't fully exist, even if you failed to die", Pizzolatto wrote. He also mentioned feeling depressed about HBO refusing to renew his contract, following low ratings and negative reviews. HBO declined to comment.

>Pizzolatto is survived by his wife, Amy, and their 5 year-old daughter.

http://variety.com/2015/tv//nic-pizzolatto-found-dead-1386034176/

>>64914727
Very clever

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>>64913770
>>64914710
>>64914715
>>64914872

I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream; that's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor... and surviving. Caespere knew this.

>>64914939
Pls no bully

>>64914959
>article not found

They let the cat out of the bag, Ray.
Let sleeping dogs lie ? I say let's wake them the fuck up.

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, Ray, but it's a good thing I'm a fucking sledgehammer.

They say never take a wooden nickel. Well that's fine because they're made of fucking copper

"When pigs fly", isn't that what you told me?

Well I just saw my mother on a blimp Ray

They should have never cut their nose off to spite their face, because I'm the goddamn plastic surgeon Ray, and Caspere knew I specialized in rhinoplasty.

I'm a storm in a teacup, Ray. And I don't take sugar.

No man is an island, Ray. But I'm all man, and I'm a goddamn planet.

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You know that old adage Ray? "Leave 'em while you're lookin' good?" Well I'm the fuckin' Homecoming King, and I ain't goin' no where.

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The best day of owning a boat is the day you sell it, but I can't swim, Ray.

I'm caught between two stools, Jordan. You want a fucking baby ? Well my balls are in your court.

They say let sleeping giants lie, Ray, but I say hook the narcoleptic motherfuckers up to a polygraph already.

>>64915199
noice

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>>64914939
>tfw people shit on Vaughn's dialogue and have never seen a Jimmy Cagney picture

This thread is fucking golden, pony boy

They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Well, I climbed into the bush. And now my hands are full of fucking birds.

They say to make hay while the sun is shining, but I only feed my horses whiskey

>>64914650
dead on

You know who Caspere was Ray? He's a fucking ghost and the only thing I'm busting are my balls here.

>>64915260
fucking lel

>>64915260
>Well, I went into the bush Ray, and all I got was covered in bird shit

ftfy

You are what you eat Ray

And tonight you're eating toast

>>64914650
>>64915168

Could be actual dialogue tier.

People like you can't see the forest for the trees, and I am the woodpecker.

My grandfather told me you can discover everything you need to know about everything by looking at your hands. I've been looking at mine all my life, every day since I was 5, and you know what I've just realized? They're fucking feet.

Ever listen to the sound an owl makes Ray? Well I'm the tree it's perched on and I'm asking 'what' not 'who'.

They say time heals all wounds Ray, but my watch has stopped and my fingers are too broken to wind it.

>>64913763
Laughed irl

You say i have a chip on my shoulder Ray?

That's a fucking mole you idiot

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Common sense is what tells us the earth is flat, Ray. Why aren’t red traffic lights heart-shaped?

Because Cupid doesn't want you to see him coming when he'll blow your fucking head off.

They say the eyes are a window to the soul.

But I look and I look and all I see are curtains. Curtains for you, Ray.

>>64910940
how do i get this hair?

They say when in Rome, do what the Romans do...
Well I guess this is the fucking collosieum ray

An apple made Newton understand gravity

Now I'm your apple Ray, and I'm going to make you understand the gravity of your situation

>>64915638
You know what they say about what goes on behind the curtain, Ray ?

Well my curtains are made of beef.

>>64915260
lmao

The world doesn't owe you anything, but it will always be in my debt.

>>64915404
absolute madman

>>64915404
Hahaha

You know what they say Ray, one apple a day keeps the doctor away, and you're running out of apples.

HE NEVER SAID "CASPERE KNEW THIS"

You're going to say that he did, but trust me, he didn't. I watched this recently and paid attention.

My barks bigger than my bite, Ray, but that's because I'm a fucking tree, and when I finally fall, I'll crush everything beneath me.

The Godfather lied to us all along, Rey.

I refused the offer, only to find out there wasn't any.

>>64911183
You mean a dime a dozen

>>64910940
>it's a doggie dog world

What did he mean by this?

I've been trying to get a second wind Ray, but I can't stop pissing in it.

>>64911023
Kek

>>64915865
Sometimes you say things, sometimes you don't. It doesn't fucking matter, Ray.
This world wouldn't hear us even if we were all screaming at the same time.

>>64915865
Caspere knew this

>>64915865
He ironically did though

The shoe's on the other foot now Rey, but I'm walking on sunshine

[Spoilers]Woah-ah-oh[/spoilers]

>>64912623
caspere knew this

The pen is mightier than the sword, Ray. Me? I'm an HP Color Laserjet 9000 RSXXPro™

I think its time we addressed the elephant in the room Ray

I want it out of my room by tomorrow

>>64914650
It sound good, but it doesn't actually mean anything. nice

>>64915976
No.
Seriously, he never said "Caspere knew this" or something like that. He mentioned Casperes name a few times, but that's it.

You know how people ask if a bear shits in the woods Ray?

Well I'm a bear, and goldie locks just stepped in a pile of my shit.

Round and round I go Ray. And where the fuck do I stop, huh? Nobody fucking knows. Not even Caspere.

They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but I hunt squirrels, Ray, and they're worth a diamond dozen any day of the week.

They wanna play grab ass? Well my hands are full of blood and I've got the ass of a 19 year old.

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>>64915361

You know Ray, they say all the world's a stage. But Shakespeare never had to act like he gave a shit what you said.

>>64914799
Caspere knew this.

>>64914924
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, you complete moron.

Every dog has his day, Ray. And I lease kennels.

They say you can't fry every egg, but I'm damn hungry and my fridge is full of eggs, Ray.

They say my bark is worse than my bite, but I've got a nylabone and I've been sharpening these bad boys for a long time.

They say Fish don't fry in the kitchen,
Beans don't burn on the grill.

Well it Took a whole lot of trying Ray,
but Im about to get up that hill.

Most people are either a lion or a gazelle.
But make no mistake at the end of the day I'm the game warden.

>>64916083
They say you can't really ignore the elephant in the room, Ray, but this isn't Africa anymore and I want you back in the trunk.

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Wilson told me that when Eskimos get old, they go on a final whaling trip, never to return. Well I'm about to fuck Al's mother and I feel cold all over. AUUUUGGHHHH.

>>64916294
Caspere knew this

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>>64916064

>>64916434
>They say you can't really ignore the elephant in the room, Ray, but this isn't Africa. So I just fucking shot it

Im between a rock and a hard place, ray. My dick is the hard place, and Im going to fuck the rock.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks Ray

But I just taught my father how to use the toaster

They say an apple keeps the doctor away for a day, but a poisoned apple keeps him away forever, Ray.

Caspere's killer knew this.

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me. Well guess what, Ray? I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.

He was shooting at god, Ray.

They say let sleeping dogs lie, but I'm no bitch. Keep up Caspere.

Blood is thicker than water Ray

Have you ever seen a water pudding?

They say don't go chasing waterfalls.
Well my business is drying up, and I'm fucking thirsty.

>>64914149
Wendell Lira pls go

>>64914101
10/10

You want to see eye to eye with me Ray, but it's impossible. I only have eyes for one person. And that's person... is Caspere

It may take a village to raise a child, Ray, but I'm raising Hell, and I've got the whole city behind me.

They say the early bird gets the worm.
Well I have insomnia, Ray.

They say the apple doesen't fall far from the tree. But when I look up all I see are fucking lemons.

>>64913633
I sure laughed.

>>64915638
2deep

They say don't judge a book by its cover. But I'm fucking blind, ray.

We constantly seek what cannot be delivered in life, Ray. But I took over UPS and deliver to myself now.

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holy fucking shit

Your say this costs an arm and a leg, but i'm only bartering with my heart Ray

>>64917030
Vinceposting is fucking gold.
Someone post the chess one

You've gotta pay the piper.
But I'm the fucking conductor.

"Abandon all hope ye who enter here"

That's the sign I put on my bathroom door Ray

There's an old Irish proverb, Ray: "one beetle recognises another". But these Featherwing fucks didn't count on me being a Goliath.

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Sometimes your worst selfs best self is your worst selfs selfs best self, know what I'm saying Ray? Because I sure as shit don't.

They say be careful what you wish for, Ray. Well I'm the fucking Genie and you're rubbing me the wrong way.

Don't count your chickens before they hatch Ray

One of'em just might be a duck

"They say home is where the heart is. Well my heart is still in my body and everywhere I go so I'm a fucking RV Ray."

You know how they say you can catch more flies with honey?

Fuck that, Ray... baseball is for fags.

>>64917234
LOL

>>64917189
Haaahahahaha

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>>64917145
i think i died

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>>64914639

They say no man is an island. It's only half true Ray because I feel like a fucking archipelago.

Nothing in life comes free, Ray. But I'm the taxman and it's April 15th.

You're full of shit Ray

In fact you might as well go to India and become the Raja of Poo

They say slow and steady wins the race, Ray...
Me, I'm just going backwards.

They say those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Well Ray I learned to live in the stone so I could throw some glass.

>>64912623
Humor is like a fart. If you force it, it's probably shit. And I have fucking diarrhea, Ray.

>>64916126
>he never said "Caspere knew this"
W-what?

Fucking Caspere

>>64917571
laughed out loud. Thanks Anon.

Greased lightning?

No Ray, I'm buttered thunder

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Well I must have had a sex change ray, because I'm fucking pissed.

They say a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Well this is not the fucking Middle ages, Ray.

They say if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. Well I have no arms, Ray, and it ain't gonna jerk itself.

When I was a kid in school. the teacher gave us some finger paints and construction paer and told us to get creative. I realized then, if you wanna do things right, you gotta get your hand dirty, but at the end of the day, it all washes off.

>>64915699
heh

Truly a patrician meme
Sad it doesn't last since it takes actual effort

They say all it takes to be gay is eating some dick.
Well Ray I'm a fucking Rabbi and I still feel nothing for you.

>>64917776
its also very hard to apply outside of these threads

They saw once you go black, you never come back.

But i'm not about to be cucked by the system and let it escape me.

>>64914650
this is actually clever

>>64917862
True

They say a watched pot never boils, well someone better start watching me cause I'm boiling over, Ray

>>64917915
Quality one liner, I'm writing it down.
You'll hear it in the next season.

>>64910940
You wanna know why success doesnt grow on trees ray? Cuz guys like me plant the fuckin seeds

>>64917145
best one yet

When I was a kid a friend told me a joke. He said "Why did the kid throw butter out the window?" I was puzzled. Didn't know the answer. He then replied "so he could see the butter fly." Let me tell you something Ray, butter doesn't fly. It just falls to ground. That is when I realized I have been using margarine my whole life. You get what I am saying?

Im like a squirrel, Ray. Burying acorns in the yard for a winter that will never come. It's fucking July every day of my life and the weatherman's a goddamn liar.

>>64914769
kek

>>64918172
Kek

Ever heard how the customer is always right? Well, i'm not in the service industry anymore.

Some shod post screenshots from when the show was still going on

Ray, you told me cats always landed on their feet, I dropped a cat from my fifth floor Ray, and now the pavement's covered in gore and my wife's crying in the other room.

Fuck you Ray

>>64917571
ahahaha holy shit

>>64917571
Kek

They say a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Well I'm the fucking sugar and you're going down.

>>64914875
Closest you're going to get is the tv show Bullet in the Face.

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>>64917571
motherfucker

Every dog has its day, Ray

That's why my wife is on a vacation.

They say life's like a box of chocolates, never know what you'll get. I say that's bullshit, Ray. I know exactly what I'm getting and it isn't fucking chocolates.

>>64914875
there are tons of plays like that, most people dont like them

Big things come in small packages, huh? Someone tell that to the post office after I'm done here.

If you smelt it you dealt it, Ray. But I'm the dealer and I don't smell shit.

They say everytime a bell rings an angel gets its wings

Well I must be the King of Wings in Heaven cause I've been ringing people's bells ever since I've started this business, Ray

>Imagine each of us is a part of a plane. Everyone wants to be the engine or the cockpit, but most of us end up being an in flight magazine or one of those fold-out food trays. All my life I thought I was the black box. Turns out I'm the landing gear and we're coming down on the ocean. Life is that ocean and you're the inflatable emergency slide.

It's a doggie bag world, Ray, and I'm all out of leftovers.

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What did Caspere know?

This world is hell, Ray

And I'm the lava

>>64915893
faggot omg

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Early bird catches the worm, right? Well, from where I'm standing, Ray, it's just a plumper dish for the night owl.

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>>64919582

>>64918928
Heh

>>64918194
I love this, its pure vince

>>64919582
>>64919661

Holy shit you're a gigantic faggot.

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well I ain't no doctor Ray, how do you like them apples?

>>64914650

>sounds like a line and means completely nothing

confirmed as pizza

Life sucks and then you die, but i paid for a happy ending

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>>64919291
fucking shit

A picture paints a thousand words. But the words in different language, Ray.

Have anyone here actually Vinceposted irl?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Ray. But I drink Bruichladdich.

>>64921084

I'd rather post here with you fellow memelords.

Every dog has his day, Ray.
Me? I want the whole fucking month.

>>64917911
caspere knew this

Ray, you know how they say you should count your blessings? I can't even count my fucking change.

You ever the saying "when it rains, it pours?" Well Ray, it's raining cats and dogs out there now and I'm the new animal control officer. And I'm off the leash.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, Ray. It's the size of the fight in the dog. And me, I'm big enough to fit the whole fucking coliseum.

People are like trees, when you hit them with an axe, they die, and i am the fucking lumberjack, Ray.

>>64914650
>>64916807
>>64918194


>mfw I can actually see it

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>>64910940
Ray, they say never to run with scissors. Well, I'm Edward Scissorhands and I really, really gotta pee.

>>64921526
kek

>>64917571
Godamn you're good

May Frankposting never die. Those of you who can actually think of good ones are legends in my eyes.

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but I was never one for botany Ray

I wish I could meme with the best of you. A few of these are brilliant.

;_;

>>64919582
Shit/10. Step aside amateur

>They say the early bird gets the worm right? Well we're not birds Ray, we're fish. Casper thought he was getting the worm, but all he got was a big rusty hook in his mouth.

>>64914650
>>>/pol/ here
Replace "house" with "jews" and it becomes apparent.

Also, Yellow King is clearly Mossad.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me? Well, I'm nobody's fool Ray, and it's no shame those fools are gonna pay. Shame on you, Ray.

>>64914847
underrated

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They say if you give a man a fish you can feed him for a day, but if you teach him to fish you can feed him for a lifetime. But the ocean is empty Ray... and no one taught that man that everything has an ending

You know how they say everything is bigger in texas? Well they obviously havent seen my dick ray.

The pen is mightier than the sword Ray, and right now my dick is harder than a fucking Sharpie, Caspere knew this

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>>64916064

>>64921897

10/10

He said "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater". Too bad his wife had a miscarriage.

You know that big turkey in the butcher shop window? The one that is big as you Ray? Well that gobbler is about to be roasted and Christmas day is gonna be cancelled this year. And cranberry sauce ain't the only thing that's red.

Little strokes fell great oaks, but I'm the fucking redwood forest Ray

One day you'll cry wolf and they're won't be any wolves around to hear it.

>>64922049
I don't know why I like this one so much

Life's a game of cat and mouse.
I'm just the one putting down rat traps.

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>>64910940
You know, i didn't wear a suit till i was 38.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well Ray, I wish someone had told me that before I shoved an apple up my ass.

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>>64922049

>>64914959
don't be a dick

They say a stitch in time saves nine, Ray. But this time tailor's got his scissors out and I'm the tailor and it's time to start cutting some people down to size.

I keep telling myself to go the whole nine yards. Then again, I never was a good golfer.

My wife was whining about some spoiled milk in the fridge yesterday, I told her the milk in my head's been spoiled for over 40 years and you don't see me crying about it.

this is a man's game, Ray, and i'm about to roll the dice

>>64917571
Genius

Don't put all your eggs in one basket Ray? Well, I'm the basket Ray and it's time to make some egg salad.

They say change your oil every 3000 miles, right Ray? Well, I'm looking at a car with 4 flats and no spare. I'm the tow truck and the compacter rolled into one and we both know who's going to the scrapheap.

They say you never hear the shot that kills you, Ray. That's why I'm always wearing two hearing aids.

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>I've been living my entire life by the philosophy that every dog has its day. Well this morning, Ray I woke up and guess what? I realised i'm a just a fucking pussy

They say a penny saved is a penny earned, Ray. Well I've got a bank to save.

Ray a man's trash is another man's treasure and I'm here to clean you out

>>64916488
Underrated.

Ever been to a baby shower, Ray? I remember my first. I was walking around asking everyone "Where's the baby? Where's the baby?" They all looked at me like I was nuts. But you know what I finally realized, Ray? The baby was me, and I've still got a lot of growing up to do.

>>64915335
Underrated

>>64922049
pffft

Ray, the early bird gets the worm, but the land's rotten with chemicals and the bird's dying.
Ray, I'm the land.

They say that if you lie with dogs you wake with fleas so that's why I'd never fuck your wife Ray

>>64915893

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies, and are more than just ice king on the cake. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to the brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts, instead of making a half-harded effort. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it's a pizza cake.

>>64921967
Heh

Vinceposting has gone so far away from what the Frank Semyon character was actually like that it's hilarious. He'd never say half of this shit. Capere knew that.

I wish I was clever enough to fun post like this

Too many cooks spoil the broth and tonight Ray, we're making fucking toast.

>>64916294
Spotted the autist

They say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice, well guess what ray? I got the biggest, blackest berries money can buy

>>64915865

He says off hand "shit, even Caspere knew that" when coming to a revelation at one point I'm pretty sure

You know what they call a cheeseburger in French Ray? It doesn't fucking matter, what matters is: those frogs are addicted to cheap American fast food and me? I'm motherfucking old Macdonald, e-i-e-i-o

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>>64922694
>you are having a feel day

everyday is a feel day

Friendship is like pissing yourself, Ray. Everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmness that it brings. Well I'm fucking freezing here.

>>64917862

Most of the times you apply a Vincepost is just when you see somebody in an interview say something as retarded and pretentious as Semyon and then you just quote them verbatim with a picture of him and it works perfectly. like when J.J Abrams said "sometimes if you want to go forwards, you have to go backwards".

You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs Ray, it's a good thing I'm lactose intolerant

I had sex in a brothel once ray, and you know what I learned?

I learned I should have just done business with some Jews if I wanted to be fucked hard.

>>64922134

This is a 10/10.

Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, but I've been filmed all my life, and I don't watch the news. Never had a TV.

>>64923202
Not really

>>64923030

Caspere knew this.

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>>64911023
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>>64922492

You know what they say, Ray "The early bird catches the worm"

Well, I'm not a bird and I don't eat worms.
Don't ever come into my bedroom at 5 in the morning again

>>64923466
all me

>>64918172
My sides

They say you can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Well I'm fuckin' drowning, Ray.

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>>64922492
holy shit

>>64923030
They say to make an omelette, you gotta break some eggs. Well I'm an all day breakfast buffet.

You know how they call me Ray ? Frankie Gone with the Wind.
And right now your mustache is one sneeze away from extinction.

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The doc told me I have an oral fixation, Ray. I told him to shut the fuck up, after I took his dick out of my mouth.

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All my life I've been waiting for the straw that breaks the camel's back, but what I've come to realize is every straw can break a back; I've just been buying the best camels.

I put my money where my mouth is, Ray, and I don't talk with my mouth full.

People say "A dog is man's best friend"

I had a friend while i was growing up, a best friend, Ray, but I don't ever recall this best friend sniffing my crotch or drinking outta the toilet