I know you only wanted to give 10% but that's not worth

>>64718161
>implying he wouldn't also ask for royalties

can't blame him for wanting to wet his beak

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>>64718161

I'm sorry, God!
I'll try harder!
Please don't send me to Hell!

I don't get up in the morning for less than 95%

>>64718161
And a 25% lifetime royalty

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>I acknowledge you have a 10 million dollar evaluation but I don't understand your industry so I'm going to offer you 100k for 40% and if you even think about looking at Mark or Robert before I finish this sentence I will personally assassinate your grandparents.

What a based motherfucker

I love how be BTFOs socialists.

>>64718654
Jesus Fucking Christ You're Good At This Meme Stuff.

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>>64718654

>I'll match that offer, but I'll sweeten the deal even more. We get to hang out on the weekends at my place. You just have to come. Don't bring anything, I'll provide the entertainment. I'll even hire someone to run your business full time while you come out on adventures with me. Deal? Please say something. Don't just look at me. Just say yes.

>>64718404
Why would Mike and Jay act like such offensive caricatures?

These are always the best /tv/ threads.

>>64718906

the fun shark has the most sadness

lmfao where is the terrible_decision guy

>>64719076
But he has the most cars

>Feminists getting BTFO in the UK Version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiEOd7Ks8xk

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>You didn't come to my nephew's bar mitzvah as I asked. Nor did you come to the circumcision of my cousin, Malachi. You didn't spin the giant dreidel in the center of the room to ensure great fortune from Jehovah. Finally, most flagrantly, you didn't even light the golden menorah next to you in order to commence this so called "pitch" of yours.

>I am a patient man. I am generous. However, when somebody like you walks in here without proving that you are one of God's chosen people, or that you aspire to be one, my reservations about your business increase tenfold. You have two options. You take $150,000 from me as I claim 80% of your company, or you leave here until you can find it to accept Yahweh into your heart.

>it's a Robert gets cucked by Mark deal

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>It's a great product. I love the product. And I love you! We don't see this kind of energy from our entrepreneurs often. I'd love to make you an offer. My offer is for -

>This would go great in one of the kiosks by the halfcourt bathrooms. My offer is 10k for 49% and if you look back at Robert I will literally throw this chair at you and pummel your body until my fists crack through the concrete below the floor.

>Wow, great deal. Looking forward to working with you Mr. Cuban

>>64719658
i like this pasta but the name jehovah is used exclusively by christians

>>64718161
People watch a shit dragons den?

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>>64719658
> Jewish jokes
> O'Leary

nigger you dumb

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>Robert: "but i'm asking for half the equity you asked for, and doubling the cash amount!"
>Lori "Yeah but you can't get them into QVC"

>>64721102
BTW, how the fuck is even QVC relevant in 2016? Did QVC pay the show to name drop them?

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>"here with the Hanukkah tree topped, we'll make lots of shekels doing it!(Rubs hands)"
>"I'll take the offer, because a Jewish man taught me everything to get into this business"
This actually happened.

>>64721413
Large portions of middle America are still in the 80's.

>>64718161

He's as Irish as fuckin' Shack!

>>64719658
He's not a jew at all.

>>64721907
Yeah, it is far worse, he's ... italian.

Lori:

>I can't relate to that product because it's men's stuff so I'm out

>wow that is amazing women's product! These guys here are stupid for not investing in it. Idiot men!

>>64722169
No he's not and that's not worse

>>64722169
He's irish and syrian you fucking retard.

>>64723552
Double dose of terrorism.

>>64723766
His syrian father came in the 50s-60s and was a businessman.

>>64723906
Doesn't matter. He's genetically a terrorist.

>>64723906
>His syrian father came in the 50s-60s

Yeah, that's what the man does to make babies.

>>64723906
>>64723552
He's semitic, which means he's either a bomb terrorist or finance terrorist.

>>64724241
You know Damascus used to be called the Paris of the middle east? a lot of syrians are indistinguishable from the white people whose nuts you love to suck

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>>64724512
yeah so white bro

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>>64723906
>>64724512
>Call a syrian a terrorist and people rush to defend him
>Call an Irishman a terrorist and noone bats an eye

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How you doing, Sharks!! I SAID HOW YOU DOING SHARKS!!

I want to introduce you all to the newest face in the meme marketplace. With your help, we can get this meme on the front page of /tv/ with 200 replies in as little as a week. All we need is small investment of 6 spammed threads for 15% of the meme credit

>>64724512
tenuous fact, leap of logic, crazy statement

Do you know about using toilet paper?

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>>64718161
I'll give you $40 for 51% of your company, your daughters virginity, and for you to suck me off right here on national TV. You can leave it all to me, I take care of the grunt work. I'M A DREAM COME TRUE FOR YOU.

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>>64724714
alright

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>>64718161

>"There is a small island in the Himalayan Sea called Malderiki, upon which I own a large mansion. Every year afer the first rain, the Newport Beach Wine Society (of which I am a member) gathers at my mansion to watch the island's natives grovel in the mud as their pathetic straw dwellings are ripped apart by the rising waters. On this island there is also a fish, called a Piranha Giganticus. Coinciding with the first rain, this fish swims into the flooded island and begins to feed on the older and weaker natives of Malderiki. Unable to defend themselves from the killer fish and uttrly helpless, the natives make their way to my mansion in makeshift canoes. At this point, the Newport Beach Wine Society opens a bottle of pre-revolution French Chardonnay, dated no later than 1760, and places wagers on which native will be the first to reach the high ground of my sprawling lawn. Once the fish has fed and returned to the Sea, there are typically a handful of natives left on my lawn, at which point we activate the electric fence and release the crocodiles. Last year, during the crocodile feeding, a tiny speck of native flesh was flung from the lawn up to the balcony where the Newport Beach Wine Society was gathered and landed on my shoe. I retrieved the piece of flesh and placed it in my mouth, washing it down with a glass of Moldovan Pino Griggio. Right now, YOU are that piece of flesh."

>>64725237
top lel

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>>64725237
Jesus Christ

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>>64725237
10/10

>the people who turn down offers

I don't understand this. I would get it if you know you have an incredible game changing product and are getting fucked hard by the sharks but 99% of the people on the show have jack shit.

>>64725912
I'm pretty sure if you took a VC's money and just fucked off with it, you'll pretty much never get an investment ever again.

>>64726187
I didn't imply they take the money and then run.

I'm talking about the people who get offers from the sharks and flatout decline.

I just don't understand why people wouldn't accept the offer in the first place and take the opportunity to have someone who clearly knows what they are doing and probably has countless connections to help you get your shit going.

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>it's an entrepreneur tries too hard to get into mark Cubans pants episode

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>Have you ever had White Tiger Lasagna? It's lasagna, but the meat is made rim succulent white tiger flesh. Now, white tiger doesn't taste good; it's greasy and foul. I spend seven of the next ten hours on the john, and the taste is days coming off the tongue. I eat it not because I enjoy it, but because it sends a message: all that exists exists only with my consent. I have the money, the power, and the means to violate several international laws and circumvent years of ecological protection solely to satisfy a passing craving by eating one of the last hundred or so white tigers. What I'm saying here is this presentation has no message, and therefore I'm out.

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>>64726708
>they called him "cubes"

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>>64719540
That was amazing. The look on the face of the woman on the dragon's side when the fatty said "We are women" in response to the guy saying "Let's keep this easy" is perfect.

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>>64718906
Poor fucking Robert, man. Always gets fucked over.

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>>64727174
T O O M U C H

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>>64727174
Fantastic

>>64725237
This is genuinely one of the greatest things I've ever read.

>>64727174
>all that exists exists only with my consent
kek

>>>/lit/
we need some more laughs man

>France
>white

>>64725237

holy fuck

>>64727174
>>64725237
10 out of fucking 10

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Do you think?

>>64727174
>>64725237
these are fucking great

pls more

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>it's a kids episode

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>>64723766

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>>64725237
>Himalayan Sea

>>64724512
That's funny because now they call Paris the Damascus of Europe.

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>>64725237
>>64727174

haha holy shit

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>>64731077

>>64726529
free advertising

>>64725237
damn alright

>>64726529
They genuinely believe they have a great game changing idea and are using the show to advertise their idea.

>>64725237

I see your pasta.

>>64730379
Dayman is for sure gay.
but lori is hot as fuck. im gonna say no though

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god i'd pound that beave so hard

>>64727449
>every time you get advice you sigh and a bu- you're doing it, exactly that.
>you're doing it again, you're not listening to me

Called her right the fuck out. she wasn't hearing any of that victim bullshit.

NIGGER

>>64730379
BBC

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>>64725237
every

fucking

time

>>64730665
>it's a parent who obviously came up with the idea and is using their kid to sell it and label it as the kid's idea episode

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BUT WE CAN BE A SOCIAL NETWORK

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>>64725237
beautiful

>>64733889
oh man, the amount of HIPPA violations they would breach

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My name is Jeb Bush, and I'm running for president in 2016. I come from a long line of distinguished presidents, and my campaign has been running to continue this tradition. I've been the governor of Florida, and I married a latino woman. This campaign has received heavy investment from the establishment, and I look forward to continuing that investment with you, and we can do Jeb! 2016.

Kevin: How are your numbers so far?
Jeb: Well, we're currently polling around 2-3%.
Kevin: What are you chasing?
Jeb: Unfortunately Mr. Trump is at 40%.
Kevin: I'm out.

Mark: Mr. Trump is actually a fellow businessman who I have already endorsed for president, and I can't invest against him, so I'm out.

Robert: How much are you asking for?
Jeb: I am asking for a $200 million investment, and in return you get 70% of the top lobbying rights on executive decisions.
Robert: How much have you spent so far?
Jeb: To date we've spent $128 million.
Robert: Wow.
Kevin: See, this is why I was out, I knew this was trouble from the start.
Robert: Jeb, how can you possibly think you can continue this campaign? Where is the money going?
Jeb: W-w-well...
Kevin: He's DEAD, this is not happening, he just doesn't know it yet. DEAD!
Mark: Yeah look Jeb you're a nice guy and I'm not going to jerk you around, I know Robert will try to soothe your feelings here but listen to Kevin on this one.
Jeb: We have guacamole bowls! Highest quality!
Kevin: And how much do they sell for?
Jeb: $75
Kevin: Like I said, DEAD
Robert: Well look I can't come down on your whole campaign, but for me, with those numbers, I'm out.
Jeb: T-thank you sharks.

literally the worst idea to ever be on the show

>>64735089
in regards to
>>64733889

>>64725237
>Himalayan Sea
kek

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>>64725237
>>64727174
perfection

>>64734966
I laughed

>>64735141
>>64735089
The worst idea was the fucking elephant in the room. They were literally selling a small stuff elephant in a glass case.

Some of the earlier ones were really bad too. Like some lady pitched a plastic slab you put on your laptop to put post-it notes on, and one guy pitched a bluetooth device that you installed (via surgery) inside your ear.

>>64734876
>misspelling HIPAA

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>>64736662

>its a mark cuban buys the entire company episode

>>64725237
This is amazing

Let me get this straight
You want to accept full responsibility for a business that you only have 5 minutes of knowledge on, and in exchange I get 49% of the profit after you're done pumping all the money and resources to make my idea work into it?

Shit mayne where do I sign I ain't about dat entrepreneurial lifestyle nigga

>>64736642
the elephant in the room couple divorced and he started an indiegogo campaign to raise money to pay legal fees because she doesn't allow him to see their daughter

>>64738440
kek

>>64719046
as of now

we used to have great threads nightly until moot left, not sure if that's directly related, but this Star Wars shit was the last nail in the coffin, /tv/ has now gone full /x/, biggest drop in board quality this site has ever seen, /tv/ might even be worse at this point