Worst/best flight experiences

Dude
Once I was on a direct flight to the Amsterdam,I got upgraded to first class, and one of the flight attendants was like, super nice, and hot. I was able to get her number and now she's my gf. the food was great and I felt so relaxed. I didn't get jet lag. The flight back however was terrible. I barely got any sleep and I used my Brazilian passport, so all the flight attendants tried talking to me in indecipherable Portuguese.

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>Air Canada
>Vancouver to Toronto flight (~4 hours), scheduled for 9 a.m.
>postponed to 12
>ok, grab a beer and wait
>postponed to 2 p.m.
>ok, grab one more beer
>postponed to 7 fucking p.m.
>had to wait 1 hour in line to get to the AC counter
>"That's not our fault. Here's a 10 CAD voucher for airport shops."
>Fuck you all, cheapest food was 12 CAD
>Got on the plane at 7 p.m.
>small beer is 5$
>stranded in Toronto at 2 a.m.
>no refund for booked hotel
>no hotel room
>had to wait ~4 hours for the bus, in the middle of the night
>additionally i lost my headphones on the plane and lost & found didn't find them

tl;dr I lost 2 full days and was stressed as fuck

>>1270312
I got really high several hours before departing for the airport and ate a bunch of chinese food from a buffet. I had a window seat, used the bathroom at the beginning of the flight, passed out for 8 hours, and woke up in Europe.

>>1270331
Any reason why the flight was delayed? Was weather really bad?

>>1270331
Weird, wonder if it is a US thing only but here if the flight is delayed over X hours you start getting refunds of 100USD per hour up to some limit before they just begin to rebook you. Might have been just southwest though, but I got a 200 USD voucher for my flight getting delayed 2 hours.

>flying to Havana for the first time on JetBlue, super excited
>finally get randomly selected to choose the take-off song
>tell the stewardness I would really like to hear "It Ain't Me"
>ready for this epic fucking takeoff
>they play fucking DESPACITO instead
>never flying JetBlue again

>>1270370
Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito
Nos vamos pegando poquito a poquito
Cuando tú me besas con esa destreza
Veo que eres malicia con delicadeza

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito
Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito
Y es que esa belleza es un rompecabezas
Pero pa montarlo aquí tengo la pieza

Des
pa
cito

International flight with Eurowings

>got good deal for roundtrip flight (289 euros) from Miami to Cologne
>boarding for return flight back to America
>me and buddy are the only Americans, plane full of greasy Germans
>stuck in middle seat, next to German bimbo with very low cut top and my buddy who looked like he was dying of full-body rotdick he must have caught by drinking the tapwater
>the booby bandit stinks of expired suntan lotion and smoke, but I could swear that her top is low enough to see areolas
>Find out that, because we spent almost nothing on this flight, we are the only passengers who do not get free food
>5 hours in to this 10 hour flight, the titty devil falls asleep, head facing away, and I take the opportunity to admire her assets
>got hungry enough to order a sandwich, 5 fucking euros for what amounted to a half-rotting roast beef and lettuce that looked like it was scraped from the underside of a Grand Corral salad bar
>Sandwich makes me feel terrible, not even these extra large knockers can make me feel good
>Go to bathroom, puke it up in the toilet, and as I am kneeling on this dinky little German plane I consider that there is another 5 hours of this
>Start thinking about those bombastic boobs again, decide to start jerking off since I didn't get any action while I was in Germany
>bust a thicc nut into the sink, try to wash it down but it's so viscous that it's like trying to wash down a loogie
>go back to my seat, don't say a word when the next person to use the bathroom calls the flight attendants to try to clean up the mess I left in that bathroom
>Post-fap exhaustion still can't help me sleep because my buddy is coughing the entire time and wiping green mucus that's oozing from his eyes, and I think the semen demon was farting in her sleep

I guess I can't complain consider how little I paid

>>1270345
Something was wrong with the plane

>>1270350
Works just in/to/from EU states as far as I know.

>>1270391
That's what you get for taking the working class holiday bus.

>>1270370

> flying to Havana for the first time
> It Ain't Me starts playing

I've flown 11 times and I've never had a problem. (No discount airlines)

Most recent 12-hour flight, the hostesses were really nice and I got a nice buzz on from the free beer. Really comfy experience overall. And we got to the destination an hour early.

>>1270370
wtf is a take-off song?

I always had pleasant experiences flying from Vienna to Tokyo via Dubai with Emirates. Except for once, I always got 2 or 3 seats for myself so I could always sleep nicely. The on-board entertainment system was top notch and the food was decent. Only downside is that they once forgot my luggage during my layover in Dubai and I only got it 3 days later.

Worst was BA short haul. No food, no drinks (honestly, who doesn't serve at least free drinks on a 2 hour flight wtf is this Ryanair?). Would not fly with again

Best
Emirates. I pay for flights cheaper, but the experience feels like I paid double. Only downside is that you have to stop in Dubai wherever you're going.

Worst
Delta. Literally feels like Im taking a flying bus. Once got stuck in Senegal for 24 hours because the plane's navigation went down.

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>>1270370
>Despacito plays instead
Fucking kek

>>1270312
Worst: Dublin Airport. Whenever I fly through there, I become stressed out. And have lost possessions there twice.
Any airport with over about 10 million passengers a year is too onerous and generally the walks between security and gates are too long.

Oh I've got a good one.

On the way back from Japan to UK, I had a connecting flight from SEA.

>Sit down next to a middle aged English man (bright red sunburn of course) who greets me with "alright mate"
>No screens on chair in front (13 hour flight). Guy next to me presses the button at least three times in first hour during turbulence demanding for the iPads they hand out with movies. Repeatedly told no.
>Everytime they offer drinks, he orders one red and one right. "Why not just get rose?" I asked. He looked at me blankly.
>Four hours in, he's drunk and making comments about every stewardess who walks past.
>Spills wine on my blanket, laughs.
> I throw blanket in floor in frustration, and press the button. No-one comes for an hour as they think he just wants more drink.
> 7 hours in, he asks the hostess if they can store his leg overhead. He had a prosthetic leg.
>4 foot hostess wielding this huge leg around, it's dangling foot slapping me across the face.
>Lose temper as they have still not brought me my new blanket.

I always feel dread when I see my fellow anglos on a plane.

>>1271116
sounds like you sat next to a modern day jack sparrow kek

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>>1270312

> Flew China Eastern
> downloaded Ray Donovan shows on my iphone
> had no reading material with me
> airline staff won't let me watch tv shows on my phone.
> sat and stared at the front of my seat for 4 hours.

>>1270578
Best: Flying Emirates. Comfy, good veggie options.
Worst: Dubai airport. Disorganised, smells weird and just too fucking big. Especially when the shitty lifts to get to the subway to get to your plane freak out and open their doors every time someone walks within 5ft of them.

Worst: China Eastern. Flights always delayed, food looks like war rations, and flight staff are rude as all hell.

Best: Emirate flight from LA to Melbourne. Had a thc pen with me so went to the bathroom, took a few hits, went back to my seat, and passed out for about 13 hours. Woke up, watched a movie, and we landed. Couldn't have asked for a better outcome.

>>1271116
should have just started asking him leading questions RE: brexit and wait for him to go into meltdown as he was quite drunk.

>>1271944
that is the plane which is about to hit the south tower. Probably worse than the one which hit the north tower if they saw from the window what was going on.

On the other hand, what about the Germanwings Flight 9525. Passengers had to watch as the main pilot tries to smash in the door while the co-pilot just decents into the mountains and you can only look out the window nothing else. Probably worse.

>>1270334
Gonna try this next time

>>1271944
and your worst flight experience?

>>1272202
>>1272177
crying about flight delays vs. buring alive in a pool of kerosine because of allahua suicide squad

i'd say the worst is probably when passengers go to the in flight restrooms barefoot

>>1272026
why?

>>1270312

>Malaysia Airlines flight bound for Kuala Lumpur
>just there to save money on the trip to Tokyo
>worst airline pilots ever
>almost no one operating the flight can speak English properly, flight attendants UGLY AF
>constant altitude drops in the air, several passengers actually vomit on the 13 hour flight (altitude drops continue the entire way)
>kids crying/screaming everywhere because of the shitty flying
>we fly through a thunderstorm and that scares even more people
>pray to God this flight ends soon or I be put out of my misery by having it crash

Little did I know this airline would have that major crash into the ocean a few months after my trip. lol never fly Malaysia

>>1270328
Lol wtf

>>1272500
Fk that is scary

Long story short, my mom works for an airline, so I get to fly for literally less than a tank of gas.

Best:
First class all the way to Germany from Chicago when I was a kid. Mom, Grandma, me and my sister all on the plane together. Mom and I got upgraded to first. Seat was huge, food was delicious, and they had like 12 movie channels! (This was back in 1998, so that was a big deal)

Worst:
I'm a fat guy. Like, 6'2" 300lbs. I've made piece with the fact that I'm a fat guy and I try to never inconvenience others due to my size.


>Flying Chicago to Seattle
>I get the first row in coach, (exit row) by the door.
>I'm in the middle.
>Cockgoblin in a suit sees that he has to sit next to me.
>I'm nowhere near his "personal space" but he sighs rudely and it's obvious he's having a fucking problem with me.
>He asks the flight attendant if he can be re-seated. She tells him the plane is full, and he has to suck it up.
>Have to endure 4 hours of him giving me rude looks anytime I do ANYTHING.

Fuck that guy.

>>1270312
Airberlin: NEVER AGAIN.

In Paris. shit cab driver took me to wrong airport. It's not a language thing, i speak both french and english natively. I always leave in advance so, rush and take the train, make it about 45m before take off.

Go to counter, guy says he cant let me in because i am too late. Check my watch

>>>mfw 40 ish mins before takeoff in tiny paris airport.

Argue with the guy and after about 15m (i shit you not) he realizes that im already checked in and he wasnt allowing it because checking in was closed (i always do online).

Asshat tells me luggage thingies arent connected to plane no more and so he cant get my bags in.

>>>ask for someone else, cause ill punch him

other guy shows up, very sorry, tells me i can take out of my packs everything not allowed on the plain, they will mail it to me in Berlin (where i was flying) and i can just take my phat luggage on board.

Run to the gate, cross security.

Sec guy makes me take off my shoes and shirt, pat me down for like 10m, other guy shrugs and runs with me after

arrive at gate, see plane take off without me

>>>look at my watch, it took off 10m early.

call company, they ping pong me around and say i need to talk to a rep in the airport. Airport has no rep, they are all contractors and other companies and they cant "give me" another flight,

End up paying 240€ for cheap flight to berlin, tell my sob story and lady from easy jet makes all my luggage free and gives me a discount. I only pay 180€.

Arrive 8h later to berlin, my friend is fucking pissed....

>>1270350
yup. only very specific cases. I know, took me 3 months but i got 650€ back for my 400€flight that was delayed by a day and got me stuck in Frankfurt. I got paid to wait. lel

>>1272549
Lose the weight man, its unpleasant being next to obese people on flights. Plus it's better for your health, just lose the weight and don't bitch about other people giving you rude looks if you are so fucking overweight.

>>1272549
Yeah you should lose weight dude.

>>1272360
Chinese government bans mobile phone usage at any point in the flight.

Off topic question about online check in.
Im taking a 1 hour flight to Heathrow with British and then a 12 hours flight to Sao Paulo with Latam.
I wanna check in for latam for a window seat.
Can I do them sepperatley?

>>1272640
Yes, check in with your phone when you're in Heathrow. I did this and had a window seat plus full row for myself on a 12 hour flight.

>3 hour layover in Denver tomorrow night

God that airport sucks and everything will be closed. Debating just buying a lounge pass.

>>1272549
>ive made peace with the fact that im fact
no one else will, especially not on flights. start hitting the gym and stop being a bum. fat acceptance will literally get you no where

>>1272549
Nah man. Fuck YOU for being a fat piece of shit mommas boy with no self-discipline. You may not "try" to inconvenience me by spilling half your fat disgusting body into the seat I paid for but the fact is you do.

>I've made peace with it...
Great. Nobody else has and as a result, you don't get to feel offended when they're visibly uncomfortable because of you.

>bought tickets two weeks ago for £470
>exact same tickets are now reduced to £380
This is bullshit. Can I get some money back?

>>1272706
i like capitalism

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>>1272706
> be me
> want to be share billionaire
> buy snap shares after IPO for around 23.83$
> shares get butt raped by free market
> don't want to sell because hope of better price is still alive
> shares drop to 15$

>>1272706
>This is bullshit. Can I get some money back?

NO!

Don't like memes desu

>>1272709
Reminder you may like it but it doesn't work well


As for my best and worst flight experiences mine are quite tame:

Best: Flying domestically as a 14 year old from Washington to New Orleans to see my dad who at the time was working in northern Louisiana. Flight said I couldn't fly by myself and needed an adult but to fix this they moved me to first class. I ate free Pringles.

Worst: One or two close calls to the airport and some spooky turbulence but that's about it.

Worst flight experience:
I had a flight from Brussels to Miami via Orlando. Our agency said we wouldn't have needed to leave the plane in Orlando but they were wrong. Because of the immigration laws in the US, everyone on board had to disembark and go through the passport checks (veeery long queues), re-do the check-in, etc... I suppose some fellow passengers had the brilliant idea of declaring something wrong e.g. "I was involved in terrorism" or "I have meat or diary products with me" (fucking genius), so they were held for more than 2 hours and the plane had to wait for them. If we had rented a car in Orlando to go to Miami it would have been faster.

>>1272762
Does the form still ask "Were you part of the Nazi regime in Germany between 1933-1945?" or something like that? It was there a few years ago before ESTA at least.

>>1272769
(Un?)fortunately they had the decency of taking that question off, but they still ask retarded stuff, and many times. I think this year's form made more sense than one I had to fill in 2 or 3 years ago though

>>1270391
Lol'd

flying internationally with my friend next month.
we will definitely want to purchase a third seat for the extra room and privacy, what airlines will sell you a third economy seat for the fairest price?

I've had some shitty flights, but they weren't the airlines' fault.

>was about 9 years old at the time
>went flying without my parents
>just me, my 7-year old sister, and my neighbor's 15-year old daughter
>turns out the 15-year old specially requested a kid's meal in her itinerary
>the flight attendant accidentally gave the meal to my sister instead
>then she gave a standard meal to the 15-year old
>oh whoops haha, they made a mistake
>but it was too late to fix it
>my sister was already eating
>and just by chance, there were no more kid's meals left
>holy shit, the tantrum from this girl
>bear in mind I was 9 years old at the time, and even I cringed at this reaction
>she flipped a shit and started screaming at the poor flight attendant
>oh no, the flight attendant accidentally gave a kid's meal to an actual kid
>yes they were technically wrong, but goddamn it, you do not throw a tantrum on a fucking airplane
>complain to a supervisor, make a phone call, write a letter; any of those would've been suitable solutions
>yelling at a flight attendant on a moving plane is just fucking stupid, come on

>>1270567
I think someone's trying to force another autistic meme by making up a feature in a service.

>cabin gyms
>theater showers
>no singles policy

>>1272566
>>1272590
>>1272700
>>1272701
Look at these triggered broflakes.

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>Be 14
>Air Force brat PCSing from Ramstein to Laughlin
>Seats are scarce, family is largely split up
>As the oldest I get the seat in a random area while rest of family stays within 3 rows of each other
>Sat next to friendly, pudgy German college student
>On his way to America for exchange trip
>Asks me questions about Texas, as a native give him the lowdown on where to go for decent food and to avoid getting culturally enriched.
>Recommend a few gun ranges
>10 hours into 13 hour flight
>He's asleep, family's asleep, everyone is asleep
>Except me
>I'm 6'2", 185lbs in the economy class of a tiny European-sized Lufthansa plane.
>Knees are pressed firmly against seat in front of me
>Can't recline for some reason, shit sucks
>Decide to lower tray table, place pillow on top, cross arms and drop head like I'm napping at a desk
>Tray table hits lap before extending entire way, fuck it I'm sleepy.
>Wake up from restless doze an hour later
>Feel immense pain in my skull and pressure on my temples
>The guy in front of me had reclined his seat
>My head was now sandwiched between the back of his chair and my tray table and being crushed like a grape
>Can't move, I'm stuck. Can't speak, mouth is full of pillow
>Panic
>Start beating side of his chair with fist, get soft snoring in return
>Passing stewardess thankfully walks by and rescues me
>Spend last 3 hours of flight with splitting migraine, dizzy, whole plane is swimming and I want to puke
>Stagger like the drunken krauts on board in the terminal
>Family gets picked up by aunt
>Puke into a Walmart bag in her car until I'm coughing bile
>Sure is good to be back home

My best airplane experience would have to be any flight that wasn't that one.

>>1272769
You still can't apply for visa waiver online when you were part of the nazi regime.

>>1272769
So...is it okay to be a nazi after 1945?

>>1270331
so how is that drinking at 9 a.m. working out for you anon?

>>1272857
kek

Any Alitalia experiences?

>>1272360
>>1272613
I flew US -> Hong Kong in January with China Eastern and they were pretty strict about the no phone thing but when I was flying back last month they didn't really enforce it, so hopefully they're doing away with that soon

>>1273711
i wasn't even the only one, felt pretty good to be honest

>>1272500
Probably same pilots. Blame the buttload of cocaine they were probably smuggling.

>>1272549
If you literally stop drinking soda and stuffing your face with snacks and do some light gym you can melt a hundred pounds in a year.

>>1272857
>14 6'2 185lbs

What the fuck were they feeding you?

>>1270312
Fuck American Airlines. Worst and least capable flight attendants in the industry.

>>1274474
I had some pretty great ones every time I traveled overseas

>>1272056
Dubai airport is HUGE, but its super easy to navigate and forget the elevators use the escalators next time.

>>1270391
tapwater in Germany is probably the best in the world. just sayin´...

>>1275341
People who take suitcases on airport/train station escalators should be made to walk to their destination.

>flying out of bagram air force base on fly dubai jet
>show time is 0600 for 0900 flight, go grab breakfast then head to terminal
>terminal is a few converted shipping containers, with seats
> 0900 put us on bus, late but whatever
>wait on bus for two hours, no plane go back to terminal
>1300 still no plane, will not allow us to leave and go get food "plane will be here any minute"
>1600 finally put us back on bus they refuse to give us any information
>1830 finally take off! "this is your captain speaking sorry about the delay every one gets a free soda!"
> 2000 getting close to dubai "this is your captain speaking due to our delay we have missed out block time and will proceed to Muscat, where we will sit on the run way until we get clearance to fly into Dubai, also the waste tank is full, no more bathrooms
>people are starting to get really mad, i mean to the point where I thought someone was going to open the door and extend the slide because they had to piss
>lav tank gets emptied, sit on ground for an hour, finally take off and make it to dubai
>have migraine just want to sleep cannot even get massage from gross flip in dubai

>>1270331

Word of advice: when the delay is announced, start looking at the boards and see if you can find another flight to get moved to. Doesn't always work out, but you've got a better chance of getting there earlier then waiting for your original flight.

>>1271096

Never fly through SFO or EWR, then.

Viva Colombia, couldn't book online because the airline doesn't take international credit cards.(visa for fuck sakes). Had to go to the airport to buy with cash, notice everyone in the line up is yelling about broken and lost luggage, takes forever to get through the line.. next day flight, was delayed, no one could tell us why.. couldn't carry on luggage although it was undersized...arrive destination, no luggage.
it was a 1 hour flight, that took 2 trips to the airport, and the luggage arrived hours later on the next flight..

Best, without a doubt, was getting upgraded to first class on an American Airlines NRT-LAX flight. I'll forever be spoiled by that experience.

Worst was probably being stuck in front of a super drunk chick on DFW-SMF. Shit was funny for the first 20 minutes of her incoherent ramblings, but the comedy wore off pretty quick. Thank god it was a relatively short flight.

>>1270370
I heard this song atleast 10 times a day in cuba

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>>1272026
>>1272058
>>1274300
>>1274300
China Eastern was fucking hilarious in retrospect. At the time it was pretty stressful
>Be us 3, white Americans, no Mandarin
>Flying Hong Kong -> Nanjing -> Harbin
>Get on the plane, really grungy like a Greyhound, designs and patterns c. 1998
>Take off, no phones allowed although they were ambiguous about this rule (used my phone and none of the stewardesses complained)
>People smoking in business class
>"PLEASE do not tamper with smoke detectors"

>we land in """"Harbin""""
>try to find the way out, no signs for baggage claim
>spend an hour and a half trying to get our bags, talking into google translate to talk to the airport people
>go through security
>turns out baggage claim is inside secure area (wtf)
>after 1.5 hours with google translate trying to describe the colors of our baggage we realize we are actually in changchun because of weather and no one told us on the plane changed destination
>bags still on the plane
>airport staff rush us through security again, front of the line
>run back to the plane
>arrive in Harbin for more disasters
10/10 would do again

>>1272682
if you are flying united, i'd buy a refundable ticket in first to mexico city, and you'd have access to the admirals club for free. cancel ticket after you get in and no one will bat an eye

>went to london a few years back
>going from john wayne, to slx, to st louis, to heathrow
>checked bag to go "all the way through" at john wayne
>leave john wayne, and arrive in slx on time
>board in slx
>flight is delayed
>flight is delayed again
>looks like I may miss my connection, I'm getting nervous
>arrive in st louis, sprinting through the terminal to check my gate on the screens
>it's pretty close by, but I still hauled my ass because I didn't want to miss this flight.
>I am the last one aboard, feel like I just barely made it, have a window seat in an emergency exit isle some cunt was sitting in because he assumed I wasn't going to show up
>plane taxis 5 minutes later
>arrive in heathrow, go to get my bags
>bags start coming out on the conveyor belts
>where are mine? maybe they didn't make the connection... nah.
>wait for 30 minutes
>...they're not coming, I should've know they got fucked in the slx -> st louis check through
>no idea where the FUCK my bags are, I'm freaking the fuck out.
>losing my fucking mind in an anxiety attack
>I'm in london with nothing but the clothes on my back and my wallet + passport
>go to the hotel I reserved, check in
>call delta (they were who I booked for john wayne -> slx and slx -> st lous)
>I've repeated my flight numbers and last name a dozen times
>I've spent 2 hours on the phone at this point
>eventually I'm screaming into the phone about how unacceptable this is etc. etc.
>get comped a pittance
>bags show up at heathrow, I get a call from one of the managers there, I have to go out of my way to pick them up

fuck delta. hyper cunts.

flew with norwegian air, Oslo to Los Angeles. I wish I had known they wouldn't serve any water or snacks the whole flight, The shit website I ordered the tickets from even gave me a meal choice for my flight which didn't exist.

The only possible way to get food or water was to buy with a credit card and a lot of passengers cards weren't being accepted when swiped. Ended up eating shit salads and drinking bottles of water that ended up being like 50€. There was no time in Oslo to eat since the connecting flight time frame was already cutting it close. It was a shit show, people yelling at the flight attendants and an old guy collapsed and had to be stabilized by a doctor in one of the corridors, then we had to wait even longer at the airport so he could be escorted out by paramedics.

I guess they offer a great deal if you come prepared.

>>1270350
lol not being a cheapfuck company is a US only thing. Try canadian customer service sometime, you're so lucky in burgerland

>>1270370
good, that song sucks

>>1272549
fuck you for being fat you degenerate

best: yyc-ewr upgrade to first class and got extra wine the whole flight

worst: 12 hours tpe-sfo with shitdick kid kicking my seat and his mom smiling and saying "what am i going to do with him???" the whole flight

>>1270331
>Air Canada
Knew it was bad at that point

>>1272549
Fuck you for flying while being a 300 pounds hamplanet. Planes are not made for you and never will be.

>>1275424
Wrong I booked many flights with VIVA Colombia just fine

I never had any really bad experience like the ones described itt. I guests the worst was coming back from the toilet on an intercontinental flight and finding that the food cart had broken my headphones, so I had to watch movies without sound and most of them had no English, Spanish or Italian subtitle option, on a US Airlines flight to Italy....