The Florida Keys

>>1263104
Enjoy some key lime pie which is imo the best non-meat pie in existence.

Other than that it's just a place for gay baby boomers to ride around on Harleys.

>>1263104
I would second the recommendation for the key lime pie and add that going out to look for the key deer is both cheap and a fun way to pass some time.

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>inexpensive
>the keys
>although, yeah, pic related

>>1263104
Your level of enjoyment will be proportional to how much to drink. People come down here to drink on the beach, so don't bother trying to experience Florida while sober

>>1263828
false. smoking and fucking are totally valid alternatives.

the retard state without a nymphomaniac gf, a strong liver, or no fear of a pot bust ... jesus christ

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>>1263104
Get some cheap innertubes, go to Bahia Honda State Park and float around in the water. It's shallow, warm and gorgeous. If you packed a lunch and a bottle of wine you could spend a cheap day there.

Not cheap but if you go to Key West, go to Seven Fish. It's a classic key west restaurant with some of the best food i've eaten anywhere.

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>>1263833
>not drunk-fucking a girl on the beach while she blows smoke in your drunk face

>>1263886
>Keys
>girl
>not 70 year old "switch" non-binary woman with a pierced clit hood
Sure kid

i miss living in key weird

>>1263886
ah, first dates in swim wear in crystal cleat water to confirm you're acceptably /fit/ for one another
>>1263891
i banged an icelandic swimsuit model there

>>1263104
John Pennekamp park in Key Largo offers an inexpensive snorkeling trip.

How is the fishing?
Isnt it crazy hot in summer?

>>1263104
OP, will you driving down from Miami? Or will you fly into EYW, or something similar?

If you're driving down...
Get up early in Miami, give yourself time through rush hour, or take the turnpike down. There's a nice outlet mall where Turnpike ends (Keys Gate) and drops onto the road to the Keys (US1). Absolutely make a reservation to go out on the snorkel boat at the Pennekamp State Park on the way. It's Key Largo, takes you on a Park Service guide boat about 45mins out, with narration, and _good_ safety equipment, including emergency vest, and you'll get to snorkel Dry Rocks or other protected reefs, and see the underwater christ of the andes copy.

Another typical driving-down-stop is Islamorada, MM 83, where there are great charter boats to go deep sea fishing and bring is photoworthy monsters of fishes such as marlins being brought in, great people watching, and a handful of terrific tiki bars (bud n marys) and seafood buffets, such as:
http://whaleharborrestaurant.com/
Cheeca Lodge is the must-do historic nostalgia hotel in Islamorada, and good for a dining view if you want to just visit. Theatre of the Sea does dolphin swims and is one of the old fashioned remaining aquatic parks. Duck Key's resort also has the swims. Loee Key is the closest best reef to you at Big Pine Key. You take a dive boat out to it for either snorkel or diving. Bahia Honda State Park has great sponges for just offshore exploration, and you can see the remnants of the old Flagler railroad bridge over the water.
https://www.floridastateparks.org/park/Bahia-Honda

Of course, you should drive down to Key West for the day. You can get out to Fort Jefferson, get the famous sloppy joe, see the old Pan Am memorabilia at Kellys, hemingway tour, gold doubloons and treasures at Fisher museum, Don't forget to do the sunset crowd watching at Mallory Square as your #1. It's not to be missed.

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>>1263891
This.
Especially in the summertime, it will be toothless locals and not QT tourist chicks.
There isnt much to do in the keys that isnt ocean related. Get cheap masks/snorkels and you'll be amazed at what kind of wildlife you can see even without a tour.

The fishing is great, You can buy a 20 dollar rod from kmart and beat the shit out of it for a week. That + rigs + temp license will cost you about the same as 2 hours on a party boat, and you'll catch the same stuff. If you have money to spend charter something and you can hunt some real seamonsters. You can even get a temporary lobster permit, and the lobsters down there dont have claws so you can just pluck the fuckers up.

Food is pretty good, avoid the conch, its tough, gamey, and flavorless. Order literally anything else.

I lived in the keys for a year, its scenic, but unless your into beach/watersports, it gets old quick.

Pic related. (marathon)

>>1263104
What is it about the Florida keys that attracts elderly kinksters and altfags?

You haven't lived until you have walked past a truck with geriatric swingers groaning and fucking in the back.

>>1265887
it ain't the heat, it's the humidity

>>1265887
Keys are probably a little cooler than the mainland because the ocean has an AC affect.

The fishing is world class. Id avoid doing a partyboat though, I took one and ended up catching less, and in smaller sizes than just shorecasting.