Cop stories

When I was in Mongolia, hitchhiking with a girlfriend we caught a bus of about fifteen cops going on vacation together. They sang us the national mongolian songs together and I sang them an old polish one.

>>1217607
on the same trip in China we had quite a lot encounters with police. They usually have a single person in a team that speaks some low level english. When they check your passport and it's fine they become very friendly.
Once SWAT came to check us for some reason
Once I was tired of crossing a huge city ahead, so I asked the driver to drop us on the ring. In five minutes polce car appeared and took us all the way across the city
once they took us from the highway, brought to some police station, fed, made photos, explained painstakingly that we cannot be on a highway, bought some more food and left us on some lower road.
All in all chinese cops are cool for tourists and playing dumb is really easy there. The only problem is they film you afterwards (provided they speak fluent english). Filming, they explain what you shouldn't have done and ask if you understand. So cheating this way is somehow one-time action

Some nice police stories from Thailand

-Thai policeman helped me find a hotel, bought me lunch and paid for the hotel after I was dropped off at his station after hitching with some other police, who were also nice since they gave me a ride

-slept in a Thai policeman's house after hitching to some random town, we drank whiskey and he tried to whore his mistress to me

-stayed at a friends house and smoked weed every day for a week with the local police chief, he also showed me around the area a lot and bought me food etc .

>>1217618
Some more goodies

Slept at a couple of Indonesian police stations, always hospitable with food etc

Expanding to soldiers, got drunk on whiskey with Burmese navy for ten hour+ train journey, gave me their navy shirt
Some army guy gave me his hat another time

Old and bad ones

Tried to bribe a Cambodian border police with a $2 bottle of whiskey cause they wanted $5 extra on the visa for themselves, got screamed at and my form ripped up, went through after they calmed down, paid the $5

Accidentally trespassed on a Chinese army Base and got interrogated at gunpoint for one hour standing outside in the freezing cold, allowed to leave in the end

When I was in Berlin and asked a cop if he spoke English instead of just automatically assuming he would. Him and his 2 other buddies just looked at me for about 5 seconds before he said, "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm oh I don't know mayyyyyyyyybeeee."

I really just wanted to say, "alright fuck you too buddy" but too bad Germany doesn't have freedom of speech or else I probably would have been locked up.

>>1217618
>tried to whore his mistress to me
that must have been fun indeed

>Accidentally trespassed on a Chinese army Base
how do you do so again?

>>1217610
Also, when I was leaving China, there was that guard at the passport check. One had to go with a car for about 100km to the border itself, no pedestrians and no bikes allowed. After I told him we don't have a car nor a taxi, he just turned and left. After an hour I entered the station again and he came to me agian, asking about taxi. I told him I have no taxi, so he simply left, never letting me ask a single question. In the end however some guy who worked there in the office came to us at the end of his shift and took us to his workers-hotel and we partied for a night. A really cool guy.

>>1217606
My only experience is getting randomly targeted for a 3-man search in Shibuya for reasons unkown. Had to empty all the pockets, subject to getting frisked, cough up all the documents and explain every single plastic card in my wallet. The one cop who spoke English kept apologizing all the way through it, explaining how he's required to do it and he's so deeply and sincerely sorry. Over and over again.

Fucking Japan, at times it can be a really retarded place.

>>1217633
Also, there was that time in Bulgaria. I was riding with some German, who was in a great hurry (already rode for 27 hours and wanted to sleep. The car was broken and overheating) So he exceeded the speed limit quite a bit and finally the control caught us. The cop started literal litany that went like this:
"the driving this fast is very dangerous and you could harm somebody or crash on a tree or something and it is frowned upon by law and you shpuld avoid it at all times (blah blah blah, I believe he said every single thing wrong or dangerous with exceeding the limit)... But we can go for a compromise.
So the German asked how big the compromise should be
"look into your heart"(sic) the polceman said
So the German gave him 20 leva (~10euro) and the policeman told him where is the next patrol.
Bulgarian cops are cool

Jesus tap dancing christ this thread is just one asshole rambling off boring stories.

Fuck off back to your blog.

I don't have a funny story but a banal story about the first and so far last time I went trespassing. It was in Güterbbahnhof Pankow in Berlin.

<take photos and talk to random ppl also explarin
<go to an open area
>(ferocious HALLO from distance)
>three german special polices approach
<hallo sprechen sie english
> a little bit
> why are you here
<I am taking photos
> you cannot do that
> you muss leave
> und dont come back please
<walk out through the gate as the next wannabe urbex ninja comes in

>>1217634
What color are you? I stopped carrying my passport around Japan but I'm white and tattooless so I never had a problem.

>school trip to mexico
>stop in some town for lunch for an hour
>get some street food in 15 minutes and then have 45 minutes to kill
>start playing cards
>cop with a shotgun shows up
>says something in spanish nobody understands
>points shotgun at group and cocks it
>motions to give money, says dinero
>everybody unloads their pockets
the tour organizer knew the mayor, who got the sheriff to arrest the cop, but I think it was all for show, cop claimed we were illegally gambling and he was collecting evidence

>Go on trip to France with family
>Stay in Marseilles for a bit
>It was Bastille Day and they wanted to stay up and do things after the fireworks, but I was tired and just wanted to go back to the hotel
>They tell me the name of the hotel instead of giving me the address, not knowing that it's a huge chain of hotels with multiple locations in the city
>I quickly became lost because of conflicting directions... Was a stupid teenager who couldn't really speak any French (th-thanks, public Canadian school system)


>See group of policeman, think "oh, the police will help me!"
>They're clearly conducting a raid of some sort on an apartment, and all of them are armed with automatic weapons
>They also are wearing full combat armour, so clearly not everyday patrolman but are probably gendarmes... Literally look exactly like a SWAT team
>Quietly sneak up behind one of them
>Tap on his shoulder "hey, mister! I'm lost. Can you help me?"
>Cop nearly shits his pants, luckily I don't get pumped full of lead
>He can actually speak English, somehow and gives me directions
>His buddies find the whole thing hilarious

Spent 5 months in various japanese prisons for a crime spree. AMA

>>1217673
just tell your story

>>1217676
http://archive.4plebs.org/trv/thread/1150842/#1152321

>>1217717

that's fucking based. So what do they give you to eat?

>>1217673
what the fuck does

> GAIJIN FURYO GAIJIN FURYO

mean?

>>1217652
White as snow and tattooless as well. It was literally my last day in Japan during a four week trip. I was completely stumped. The only thing outside the norm I have is long hair, but I doubt it's enough to get you a random frisk with that alone.
I stayed a while and watched the cops, they bothered plenty of foreigners and some japs who had backpacks. I guess they gave them a frisk quota to meet or some shit.

>go to Canada
>constantly being harassed by cops when walking on the street or standing at a busstop
>always the same shit: asking me if I have any arrest warrants, running my passport though their computer anyway, then welcoming me to Canada

fucking fags

>>1217766
"Bad foreigner bad foreigner", it's a derogatory term for unwanted immigrants

>>1217717
Shit man, the prison food sucked. 80% of it was some kind of stew and you just knew it was shitty leftovers from restaurants. Found all kinds of shit in there like squid and shit. I told them I was allergic to rice because that sticky rice 3x a day blocked me the fuck up; I got half a baguette daily instead.

Immigration holding also had shitty food but you could at least buy pop or candy.

Only two notable encounters with police

Cambodia

> be with friend on pub street
> get drunk off $11 toas
> never been this drunk before
> light up a fatty at the red piano
> no issue
> get more drunk with friend
> walk down center of pub street
> pull out joint
> light it up
> friend signals behind me
> cop coming right at me
> put joint in pocket
> cop goes directly into my pocket
> pulls me aside
> tell him " I pay no problem no problem "
> he tells me to calm down
> get taken to side street
> police chief and two other Khmer cops sit me down at table
> tell me 6 months in jail and $1500 fine
> or I can pay them $300 right now
> tell them no problem
> go to atm and pull out cash
> pay the man
> lets us go
> tuk tuk back to hotel
> light up a 3 gram joint to calm down by the pool

Whoever says bribes in Cambodia are $20 is full of shit, but it's better than the $2000 i'd pay in Thailand.

Canada

> be driving
> caught in speed trap
> cop asks for documents
> hand them over
> comes back with ticket
> " why do I smell weed in your car "
> " I was smoking with some friends in here last night "
> scolds me and tells me to keep it out of the car
> waves me onwards

All in all I haven't had any bad experiences with Police anywhere.

>>1217626
>"I don't know mayyyyybeee
I haven't actually had very many personal encounters with German cops (at least not in uniform) but my sister-in-law's boyfriend is a cop in Hamburg and he said that basically to be a cop in any city of reasonable size in Germany you have to be A2 proficient in a foreign European language. Obviously English gets first preference, but from what he said French, Polish, Turkish Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Russian, and Spanish are all considered "good" qualifications.
I'm guessing the only reason he even mentioned Dutch and Swedish is because he works in Hamburg, and from that I extrapolate that when you want to, for example, be a cop in Dresden, speaking some Czech or Hungarian or some eastern European shit is also a good qualification.
The one time some cops knocked on my door here, I basically decided right from the beginning that not only was I way too fucking nervous to try to speak German (cops just make me nervous automatically, but at the time I was waiting on my residence permit so immediately I was thinking "fuck if I'm in trouble I'm sooo getting deported" and I knew the downstairs neighbor thought I cut her cable cord because she's old cranky and kooky) but it was generally a good idea to say exactly what I mean to cops and since there was no room for miscommunication, I asked if they speak English, and one of the cops responded "of course".
Now if you ask me, that sort of attitude is odd. They either thought "fucking Americans think every cop in the world is like American cops and can't speak a lick of anything other than their native language" or simply "this is fucking 2016, every cop in Germany needs to know some English and Turkish or else he has a serious weakness."

I'm not entirely sure but I get the feeling that they take the idea that German cops (in big cities) always speak some English for granted and get all sarcastic and snotty like that because they take it as some kind of insult.

>>1218015
um, isn't it so that it's just different manners between countires? A Brit asked about language fluency will be inclined to answer something along the lines of "a little" while he's skills are perfect. At the same time Germans simply answer the exact truth, with maybe a tiny drop of hubris. But that's simply the way they are, not their attitude toward you

>>1217987
Are there any differences between prisoners behaviour compared to what you know about US? Or is it the same set of rules? Also, do they have tattoos there if they aren't yakuza?

>>1218069
Ok so at the police station, that I was in for like 6 weeks, I was in a cell with this guy Nishizawa. He was this schizoid as fuck Jap dude who apparently, according to the guards, was in there for stiffing a hotel for like a month. He made up tons of shit like owning a building in shinjuku and having 13 cars, even though he was in donation clothes (you wear your own clothes in police station jail). Eventually I banged him out for being a prick and got transfered into a cell with 2 based Filipinos. We weren't allowed to play games of any sort so we made a checkers table that we played when guards weren't looking.

City jail was solitary confinement. I didn't see another prisoner when I was there. Apparently I was in the gaijin wing.

Immigration wasn't really jail it was a holding facility. It was adequate just your typical deportees, Chinese African etc

>on a trip to NYC
>staying in some cheap room in an apartment building in Brooklyn
>bathroom was out in the corridor. Shared with two other rooms on the same floor
>go home drunk one night, head pounding, pass out on bed fully clothed
>wake up to go to bathroom, head still pounding
>open door and I'm face to face with this cop in black with a helmet
>fucking startled me
>gaze irresistibly attracted by big black rifle he has in hand
>a split second later I'm looking inside the mouth of this rifle as cop growls at me to stay inside
>scared shitless, can't move or think straight, just staring dumbly
>cop pushes me hard in the chest, I fall on my ass and he slams the door shut
>this was 10 years ago and I still have no idea what happened, my guess is some drug dealer raid

>in a whore house in Madrid
>lights low, music blasting, drinks flowing
>talking up some chick
>she's about to go to my room to do the slobber tooth boogie
>place goes silent
>lights come on
>Madrid police are conducting a raid
>gather all of us up and sit us in a corner
>take my CA Id
>hassle me a bit
>leave
>whore pops a bottle of champagne and crowd goes wild
>fuck her later

>San Fermin
>smuggled ecstasy from USA to Pamplona
>meet Australian kids willing to pay 20€ a piece
>take back to our room for deal
>do the deal
>walk out of room
>2 police officers standing, staring at us
>ohfugg.jpeg
>they look at each other and drink beer
>we leave, eat pills, then run with bulls

>>1217727
see >>1217987

>>1218309
Sure, I've seen that. Anything unusual about the guards?

>>1217606
There was this time I was in Peru, and late at night I met this black american at McDonalds, and he told me he was making some rap songs, and he started singing this gansta song complaining about cops, calling them pigs and all that. Then he asked me for a burger, I said of course, bought him a cheap McDonalds burger, and when I was leaving I told him I am a cop and showed him my cop ID. I'll never forget the look in his face.

>>1219472
kek. A nice move.
is it actually normal there to sing in a restaurant? I'd be weirded out if someone did it where I live

>>1219474
Anyone who goes into McDonald's in the middle of the night is bound to meet some strange fellows, and if he doesn't he is one himself

>>1219474
>>1219476 is right, the place was filled with drunk people who just left nightclubs