ITT: Pokemon are real (An RP thread.) What's your favorite

>>9594098
Please stop forgetting the rules https://pastebin.com/bMvZAaVX

>>9594098
sord

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>>9593949
>She sticks her tongue out in response, rolling her eyes and making the "bla bla" gesture with her right hand.
"A Honedge is basically half a Doublade anyway."

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>Quincy sighs, flopping back into his chair with Oblivion in his lap and his dex in his hands
>>9594098
Doublade, by far.
Also, this book I've been using to translate isn't working out very well, does anyone have a ghost that lived in Sinjoh before it's fall?

Nice falseflag.

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>>9594013
Fuckin'... sure. Let's go for it. Last time I bitch about spreadsheets.

>>9594098
My magnezone. He's pretty adorable.

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>>9594098
Aegislash, definitely.

>>9594098
I find Honedge to be the most tolerable.

>>9594084
>4 - suspicion is low.
>"You have heard of our mission? Our investigation must be bearing fruit. Tell me, what do you know of this person?"

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>>9594098
Magnezone's pretty cool, bro.

>>9594088
>Ray wanders on in.
"Yo, bro. 'Sup?"

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>>9593903
>Flick't
why.
Are you though? I'm pretty sure I'm the cuter one.

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>>9594216
You have my thanks.

Now then. I'm sure you're all aware of the latest Dragonball Super news in which Goku enlists the aid of the villainous Frieza. How... unfortunate. It's weird. Goku was my favourite DBZ character as a Riolu....but the more I grow older the more I relate with Vegeta......

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>>9594194
>Deep breaths.
I've got a disc here with camera footage that got him.
>Show off the case with Torture Movies on it.
Can you get this to your leader? I would be most gracious to help your cause.

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>>9594246
Nope. I'm the cutest. You're just a dweeb.

>>9594280
"Really? Footage of the perpetrator?"
>Grab for that disc.
"Thank you, sir! I'll watch this at once and tell my preacher my findings!"

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>>9594170
>Still anonposting
Nice to see another magnets aficionado here.

>>9594223
"Hello, hello. Losing my mind here either due to the isolation, boredom, lack of psychic background noise or a combination of the three"
"But hey, at least the legs are now not fucked up"

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>>9594354
Ah, ah.
>Desmond pats his hand down.
Don't you think it would be disrespectful to watch something meant for the preacher? I don't mean to be rude but I mean this for his eyes.
>Bow, really hope you're pulling this off well.

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>>9594386
"I can help 'chu out with at least two of those, bro."
"Like, I think John's got a job lead in Alola, and we had a family movie night with the kiddos last night."

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>>9594295
Nahhh, pretty sure I'm way more cute than you. Cream > Grey.

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>>9594386
>>9594534
>Knock knock.
Uh, you two willing to hear about a new method we're testing?

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>>9594601
"C'mon in, Doc."
>Ray turns to Seb.
"Bro, are 'chu game for this?"

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>>9594534
"Then I'm going to say the lack of visits was worth it, wouldn't deny the fun times with Uncle Ray to Violet and friends"

>>9594601
"I'm all ears, doctor"

>>9594253
Are you gay?

>>9594560
NANI? DID HE JUST START THIRD IMPACT?

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>>9594581
>nuzzle the other cat
>cats can nuzzle cats
Bullshit. Grey is way better. And I'm more furry. And your tail is stupid.

>>9594424
>The cult guy's face lights up like a kid on his birthday.
"I have an idea! I'll give it to the leader, and we can all watch it together!"
"Thank you, sir!"
>And off he skips. Skips.

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>>9594648
>>9594665
>He hands SB a clipboard with a long wordy form and a line to sign.
I'll give you the tl;dr version of this. We use three Heal Pulses from a mid level pokemon, Audino in this case.
The first one is short range, penetrating the skin and muscle first, the second one gets the organs and bones and the third one will get the entire body.
This method isn't as dangerous as the form makes it sound, the first two are used as a buffer for the third.
>Daniel: Try to remember if you're forgetting anything.
It's a perfectly fine method as long as we don't go full strength at first and the worse that'll happen is it doesn't work.
If you are interested, Mr. Brodd, I can administer it now and we could get you out within a few hours or by tomorrow if it's successful.
A-as long as you sign.
(OOC I'm going to be rolling three times for this, anything bad would only happen if the Audino managed to get two dubfails and then an even/dubs in a row.)

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>>9594153
"I mean I guess, but they are different"
>Quincy shrugs

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>>9594817
Take care! Blessings to you!
>Desmond: Get the fuck out of there fast.
>Message John.
>"So I just handed the CDs over and his entire group is going to watch his Grandfather torture pokemon with him."
>"I'm either completely dead or I just helped this situation immensely."

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>>9594696
No. But I have nothing against LGBTQIAPK rights and fully support their struggles against an oppressive society that still adheres to the dogma of a fairy tale.

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>>9594823
>Clipboard in good hand
"Well...there are some time sensitive plans for the future that need to be executed as soon as possible."
>Put clipboard on lap, carefully sign it
"I'm in"

(OOC, the left arm will carry some form of lasting damage, only to be healed with really lucky rolls)

>>9594901
Then how come I've never seen you with a woman or at least a female animal?

>>9594901
Would you ever consider going gay?

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>>9594865
>"This is going to be one hell of a reaction in any event. Get out of there and if you want to watch the fireworks, do so from a good safe distance."

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>>9594937
>"Yep I'm flying up to a nice hill far away. If I'm dead you can have my shit in Unova."
>Desmond: Be the cipher grunt, watch with your binocs.

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>>9594917
I treat females with respect and dignity and don't chase after them like some horny adolescent.

>>9594918
Wouldn't homosexuality being a choice undermine the entire debate over gay rights?

>>9594963
I mean, it can be an applied trait. Ultimately sexual attraction is a collection of preferences, and if a strong enough degree of trust and love are present then, I mean...

>>9594963
>Anonposting while waiting for the experimental treatment to set up
Less of a choice, more of not knowing that you would go gay or at least bisexual for someone.
Speaking from experience.

>>9594955
>critfail
inb4 cheap ray playerkill

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>>9594805
...
>Pet the gay catto
You're only a little fluffier. And it's the same as yours, doofus.

so i still haven't gotten that jynx out of my house and i think it wants to spoon
what do

>>9594955
>Cultanon gathers his minions near.
>He looks to be giving a bit of a fire-and-brimstone sermon, and working the group up.
>And then he walks out of sight, and leads the cultists into a building with no open windows.
>No view for you.
>Hidden Roll for the group's reaction.

>>9595056
Become the spoon to her ice cream

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>>9594955
>fly in front of the binoculars
Heyyy what are youuu doing up heree?

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>>9594912
(Sorry I was going to wait for Ray but I don't want to get dragged off.)
Alright.
>Daniel takes the clipboard back and sends Audino out.
You're absolutely sure, Mr. Brodd?

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>>9595042
( First I'm accused of godmodding to save characters, now I'm accused of being a savage character-murderer. At least be consistent in your baseless accusations plskthx )

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>>9595056
Turn up the heat! Make your house as hot as an Unovan strip club, she'll fuck off in a flash.

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>>9595086
"Yes"
"Absolutely sure"

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>>9594823
"Sounds good, bro."
>>9594912
"'Chu've got this, bro. I'll be right here for 'chu."
>Ray: hang out by the hospital bed.
>>9595086
"I hope this works, dude."

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>>9595042
(Desmond literally went to an antags base of operations. I wouldn't be surprised if he died.)
>>9595065
>Squint.
>>9595073
Hey! ...You wanna watch this with me? Come on.
>Desmond: Bust out some sugary candy, bees like that, right?

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>>9595026
Love. A noble pursuit. One that most females are no longer interested in. Thank you "Hook up culture".

>>9595041
You have an experience? Sounds like there's a story you wish to tell....

>>9595066
That's... Not how spooning metaphors work.
Also holy shit like hell I'm getting behind that ass.
>>9595120
If I could afford running up my heating bill like that I'd just call a disposal company

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>>9595130
Alright. You'll need to give a bit of space... Ray? Mr. Brodd?
>He shrugs.
>>9595124
Alright.
>First Heal Pulse goes out.
>Evens are good.
>Odds mean minimal help.
>Dubfail is literally nothing.

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>>9595135
Okaayyy!
>land next to the human and take some candy

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>>9595156
Never fear, there are other options! Ice/Psychic, right? Get bugs. Throw cockroaches on that bitch, even if the Psychic type's natural aversion to bugs doesn't work the female's natural fear of cockroaches will!

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>>9595161
"Technically, like, it's Ray Smithe, but I kinda like Ray Brodd~"
>Ray: git back

>>9595195
...this shit is why you zoot suiting morons were never taken seriously
and she's in my bed i ain't shoving cockroaches in my bed

>>9595135
>There's a commotion inside.
>Screaming.
>Lots of bloodcurdling screaming.
>No way is this not waking up the neighbors.

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>>9595161
"I think I felt something, not sure"

>>9595199
"I was thinking that I would take your name instead, you're a much better father than I could ever be."

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>>9595175
See? Now shh, gotta be quiet.
>>9595229
...This is going to be hell.

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>>9595222
Well fine, fuck you too. No more fun advice, serious shit only.
She's in your bed and insisting on being yours? Tell her she has to work for it. Traditional romance. Make her woo you.

>>9595261
...Okay NOW we're getting somewhere. Will post results.

>>9595256
>The screaming stops.
>Cops are coming.
>Shit's officially going down.
>Hidden Roll.

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>>9595199
Thank you.
>>9595254
>Audino chirps at Dan.
Ah, he says that there wasn't much to fix on the surface level. Next one going out. If anything hurts tell me.
>Evens are good.
>Odds mean minimal help.
>Dubfail is literally nothing.

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>>9595050
>haha more pets
>flop on other cat
No, I'm way cuter than you

>>9595229
>>9594955
>>9594937
>>9594865
What the fuck is going on here? Why is a videotape fucking people up?

>>9595317
(because it shows pokemon being raped and tortured, specifically being raped and tortured by the grandfather of the cultist leader)

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Anyone in Kalos willing to sample experimental food?
My friends are nice and all, but the more input I get from a wider range of sources, the better.

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>>9595282
This is going to go baaaad.
>Take some notes.
>>9595317
(Videotape is based on an older plot point. It's not the tape itself, its the contents.)
>>9595360
...Experimental? There isn't belladonna, is there?

>>9595336
>Rape
NOT OKAY

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>>9595285
"Same as before, some tingling in the chest and arms"
"But nothing hurting yet"

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>>9595292
>Stroke that catte
>No not like that you pervert
Maybe a little. Not much though.

>>9595370
>The cops show up and are pounding on the door.
>The people inside split between those surrendering, and those running for the hills.
>Cops start arresting people, and then call for an ambulance - somebody in the building got beaten pretty badly, and it looks like the leader.

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>>9595400
You should have felt something... Alright, Audino. Next one. Be careful with this one.
>Rolling.
>Evens are good.
>Odds mean minimal help.
>Dubfail is literally nothing.

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>>9595443
>Note down which hospital the Ambulance is for.
>Get the hell out of dodge before someone runs up on me.

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>>9595370
No, no Belladonna.
But there is a tiny amount of my poison in it. Apparently, it adds a... unique flavor and sensation to it, or something like that, according to my friends. I highly doubt it's enough to hurt anyone, but I have pechas at the ready.

>>9595509
>Replychain memes, sorry.
Where are you located? I could use a break after what I just did.
-Desmond "Batman" Orrefag

>>9595506
>Evens.
>Clean getaway.
>The ambulance is heading to Anistar General Hospital.

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>>9595447
"Same as the last two times, doctor."
"Still, I'm going to guess it shaved off a day or two from the rib and arm fractures, right?"

(Could roll for a day somewhere this week)

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>>9595419
>Slutcatte: Is a hugslut in addition to being a regular slut
>become cling cat
Whatever. You're like. Not shit at the petting thing.

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>>9595522
A small apartment in Lumiose city.
>Sends address
Looking forward to your visit...

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>>9595592
Exposure to steel types or psychic types? I'm not exactly sure.
It definitely should have shaved a bit of time off.
(You can go ahead. I was thinking Evens would be wednesday, dubs would be tuesday and odds would be friday? Your call in the end, I'm just trying to be fair.)

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>>9595582
>Note: Taken.
>>9595646
Be there shortly.
>Rolling for travel time.

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>>9595675
"That or electric types, I began with a Magnemite and quickly adapted to the ozone"
>Rolling, with these results
(These seem fair to me, thanks)

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>>9595706
>Message for you.
>"This is a Mr. Desmond, correct?"

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>>9595746
(Wednesday it is. SB could always ask for another go through of it tomorrow but that's your call.)
Alright, sir. I'm going to go submit my report on this, if you need anything I can get back to you in a bit. Have a good rest of your day.
And, uh, if any nurses try to kick your husband out I've registered him as being alright to be here. Just avoid any electroplay, please.
>Dan leaves and shuts the door behind himself quietly.

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>>9595746
"Sorry, bro. It was worth a shot, right?"
>>9595830
"Thanks, Doc. 'Chu're a cool dude."

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>>9595612
>Snug up with the gayest catte ever(?)
Thanks, I practice.
not really.
You're preeeetty comfy, y'know.

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>Desmond: Arrive and knock on the door of the apartment.
>>9595748
>"Yeeeeeees? Whatever it is I didn't do it."
>"I swear."

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>>9595850
Yeah. I am. Glad you got the proper appric-apericee- Fuck
>hug cat
You're pretty too. Fag.

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How inappropriate is it to use a Volcanion as a vegetable steamer?

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>>9595830
(Doubt it, wouldn't be really fair)
"My pleasure to help with the research, and thanks for everything."
"And I mean it, everything"

>>9595848
"Yeah, better to try and fail than not trying at all"
"You heard him, as soon we're out of here the zapping begins"

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>>9595870
>"What do you think I'm going to do, put you in jail? Why haven't you started the Kalos league, dude?"
>>9595955
How inappropriate would it be to use your E4 room as a practice ring for my pokemon?

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>>9595870
>The door swings open, a Muk greeting him at the door
>A peculiar scent immediately hits Desmond, the familiar foul, nostril burning smell of a muk, mixed with the scents of a busy kitchen
>The apartment itself is messy, covered in purple sludge in places
Sorry.
Haven't gotten a chance to straighten things up yet.

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>>9595954
Appreciation?
>Nuzzle the hugslut n' purr
I aaaam? Is that alcohol still in your system or are you serious?

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>>9595993
>"I haven't gotten a chance. If you want a battle we can have one at some point."
>"Hey if I stop replying at any point could you do me a solid and send someone here?"
>Send address.
>>9596009
>Desmond coughs a bit and tries to avoid stepping in too much or knocking anything over as he enters.
It's fine. What have you got?

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>>9595993
Ha, good luck! I'm fairly certain your stupid tortoise would drown if you tried, you overcooked piece of chicken!

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>>9596080
>Leads him over to the table
>A small plate of pasta has been set on it, along with some bread
>Notably, both the bread and pasta sauce are tinted purple, and there is a bowl of pecha berries nearby
Should be good.
Have the pechas nearby just in case.

Guys why the fuck are pokemon-human dating sites so impossible to find?

>>9596158
Are you sure you're not somewhere they are blocked?

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>>9596080
>"Gotcha. How you been? What's up? Any good scoops?"
>"I got one for you, Siebold leaves his room unlocked."
>>9596090
You wound me. I'm dead, Siebold. All the water in your room? It's my tears because you burnt me so hard.
Wikstrom save me, Siebold is burning me again.

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>>9596155
Can't be any worse than what I've made by myself. Thanks, bud.
>Desmond chuckles and takes a seat.
>He gives the food a try.
>>9596173
>"Nope. Nothing good today. Do you want to like, meet up somewhere and have a battle? Barring I don't die in the next hour."

>>9596170
I live in Hoenn so probably not?
Man I just want to hook up with a Banette

>>9596243
Don't they hang out on the route by the town with the shopping center? You could just go see if you can have a chat with one.

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>>9596173
Wilkstrom can't save you now, Malva. Something about getting tied up and something else about Aegislash tassels.

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>>9596227
>It tastes like pasta at first
>Then the sauce hits him
>Strong and musky, burning his throat a little, but not outright repulsive
...
So...how is it?
I didn't put too much in, right?

>>9596261
...I'm a nervous wreck in person, dude, I can't just go out like that!

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>>9596227
>"Hell yeah, dude. Lumiose tomorrow? Everyone can see me wreck your butt."
>>9596282
Wikstrom couldn't save himself from a paper bag, my dude. But seriously, do you leave your door unlocked all the time ooooooooooooooor.
Does one man need THIS much lube?

>>9596311
Dude, just...look in dark alleys and stuff.
You'll find one soon enough.
Take it in, take care of it, and see how things go.

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>>9596059
Yeah. That thing. Dunno. Don't feel drunk. I probably lasted way longer than you dork.

>purr on that catte
>licc
>platonically
>it's how cats groom shut up

>>9596311
Yeah, I get that. Maybe they'd find that cute though? Just throw on a nice big hoodie and hang out around the place, enjoy the scenery and whatnot. One might just decide to come see you itself.

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>>9596287
That's actually pretty good. Kinda hot sauce-y if I had to put a description to it. You need money for a building or supplies?
>>9596322
>"Sounds good to me. Hey, if I win can you like... Get me the rights to one of the old restaurants in Lumiose, maybe?"

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>>9596373
Well... that's good to hear.
>The muk lets out a relieved sigh at his positive response
Money would be helpful, yeah.
You aren't feeling funny, right?
No tingling or feeling faint or anything?
Just checking...

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>>9596322
I am an incredibly sexually active man. Oui, this is my answer to both of those.

>>9596333
>>9596350
I mean... okay I guess
>anon grabs his usual outfit and walks out the door, headed to find a plushghost
(shit time to find a faceclaim for this guy)

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>>9596373
>"Yeah if you win, probably."
>>9596427
Man Wikstrom is more fun, I don't even get to pick your locks.
Did you know he has an Aegislash body pillow? Well, not anymore, it's mine now.
Hold that thought, I'm gonna pour lube in front of Strom's door so he slips and falls when he wakes up.

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>>9596346
I only had one, sooo.. not reaaally?
>Scritch the catto ears
>Suuuure, "platonically."

>>9596453
Good luck!

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>>9596415
Nah, I feel fine. I might have a slight resistance, though. Give it another demo with someone else.
Uhhh... I like even numbers so.
>Desmond hands the pokemon a wad of bills in a ziplock bag.
>Muk got 357,400P!
Hey, hypothetically if you could get set up with a building how would you feel?
>>9596481
>"Sooooooo gonna win."

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>>9596482
HA! Couldn't even make it past one! Dork!
>hug the catte leg

>>9596522
(get you set up*. Man I need to sleep probably.)

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>>9596481
Oh? I have a locked box in my room somewhere. Not that you'll ever find it.

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>>9596522
>Eyes go wide at the cash
W-wow.
This is...uh...
Thank you.
If you got me set up with a building, well, I'd be extremely grateful to you.
Not sure how I would be able to repay you for such a thing, though...

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>>9596522
>"Sure. Since you aren't dead probably I need to raid Siebold's room for a box."
>>9596587
Are you challenging the great Malva?
Wow, did I really say that? If I pass out on your bed covered in lube it's because I haven't slept in two days.
>Rolling to see if she can find this damn thing.

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>>9596557
I mean, all I had was one and I was fine. I coulda had more, y'know.
>Mess with his ears n' top whiskerythings
Dweeb.

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>>9596596
Don't worry about it, I've been working to make some extra money on the side.
Consider it a gift, I guess? I've always wanted to fight Malva anyway.
>Desmond laughs.
I'm gonna give you a few days to get your stuff settled, though. Get some practice in and see about meeting some like-minded pokecooks.
How's that sound?

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>>9596616
Please do not waste my lube. Do you know how much lube it takes to fuck a Barbarable? Neither do I, but I would assume it's a lot.
>You found the box underneath his bed. Just a simple 2x2 wooden box with a brass lock.

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>>9596679
That sounds great!
>Shakes his hand excitedly
Thank you. I'll be looking forward to it and working hard to improve.

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>>9596686
Probably like 500 bottle, man.
>Bust out the lockpick kit.
>Roll resist: 1.
>Rolling to pick it.

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>>9596453
(welp I fugged myself by saying anon's a guy there in a moment of dumb, but here we go)
>Anon walks through her home city of Mauville, checking every alley she can find for a banette
>her blue hair sways in the wind, weighted by the metal clips she uses
>it's not really cosplay, she doesn't have the rest of the outfit or anything, she just liked the hairstyle

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>>9596735
>Desmond shakes the pokemon's hand back.
Not a problem. I gotta go train if I'm gonna be able to get you that building. Stay safe and impress me, bud. Try your food on a few other humans, alright?
>Desmond leaves the building before I accidentally type pokecook as pokecock.

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>>9596751
Is that your final bet?
>You've succeeded. The lock clicks open. Inside this box is.... Another box. Smaller and lighter than the first, the lock is quite a bit smaller, but ultimately similar in its design.

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>>9596807
Realistically like, ten. I'm pretty sure Barbaracle are prelubricated too.
>Die internally.
"Siebold if this is a middle finger I'm going to force you to drink your own lube."
>Rolling again.
>Resist: 1.

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>>9596860
If the wet streak he left on my cheek last time he touched me is anything to go by, then yes.
>Two boxes down... Popping open the lid of this box reveals.... A third box. Given that it's fairly light and rather small there's no way another box could fit inside... Hopefully. The lock is built into the box, a simple key lock.
"Oh? What do you mean by that?"

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>>9596901
You gotta tell me how it goes. If I can put a lewd story on the front page I'll be able to retire without any problems.
>FUCKING.
>Rolling to pick the damn thing.
>Roll resist: 1.
>In most cases I'd take it away but something this small would have really easy to jimmy around pins.
"Nooooooooothing."

>>9596780
>SAO
ugh.

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>>9596941
What, do you want a video as well?
>And inside this third box is.... A fourth box.
>... a ring box that is. The ring box rests atop a folded up note, the weight of the box keeping the paper from unfolding.
"Not that I haven't ingested lube before, but do tell. What are you doing?"

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>>9597006
Hell, why not?
>Check that note and the ring.
...
>Look behind self.
"...Nothing."

>>9596966
>bitching about SAO while Quincy exists

>>9597128
>Kingdom Hearts
>Being worse than SAO

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>>9597091
At this rate you may as well make a series covering the sex lives of every League member. I'm sure you'll get quite the viewership.
>The ring is clearly expensive - a blue diamond center-stone, two tanzanite side stones, and four sapphire border stones on an etched platinum band.
>The note, when opened reads...
>"If you are reading this you are either Malva or a Ghost. This ring is not meant for you, please stop snooping."

>>9597146
>>9597128
Ladies, ladies.
They're both terrible.

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>>9597171
I have to go full Plasma and talk about pokephilia before that. Come on, Siebold.
>Stick tongue out.
>Fold it back up and put back.
>Put the boxes back inside and back there it belongs.
>New scoop: Siebold planning to marry his Barbaracle?
>Hold on, which arm would he put it on?

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>>9597219
Ah, I suppose. I fail to see the big fuss. A dick is a dick. Pokephilia has been legal in Kalos for how long now?
>He's had the ring for a while, just sitting there, collecting dust.
>It's being saved under the assumption that he does find that special someone.
>Obviously it would go on the ring finger of the head-hand.

>>9597128
It's ironic because I'm pretty sure that was Emrys you replied to.

goo

>>9599170
gle

>>9599353
gla

>>9599422
eyelids

Can you massage a ghost?
Specifically, a mismagius and gengar? Maybe a Froslass?

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>>9596629
>maow
Please. You would've bitched out. Bitch.

>>9599626
If they allow you.

>>9600575
...So that's a yes to "can they feel good from a massage"?

>>9600716
Yeah, but don't quote me I'm no Ghost expert.

>>9600716
They feel as much as they want to feel, so if they want to, then yes, they can feel a massage, and some ghosts can even take it a weird direction and let you phase through them while you to it, so you can get some weird angles and stuff

>>9600951
>>9601008
Sounds like there's lots of potential there.
I'll throw the idea out to them.

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>>9600312
..Yeah, purrobably.
>Poke a cattecoin
Homo.

>>9601341
catte dicc

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>>9601341
>flick opposing coin
Gay.

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>>9596780
>anon stumbles home, sighing
>no luck on finding a banette
>every dark alley was either empty or empty
>she sinks into her mattress, and grabs her keyboard and mouse off a side table
Hey guys, I'm back, no luck on finding any Banette in dark alleys, so what do?

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>>9601355
Shh.

>>9601359
heck.
>Flick dorkcoin in retaliation
No you.

Pokemon here. How would all pokemon become equal in the eyes of humans?

>>9601527
They can't.

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>>9601527
Humans would have to write laws putting pokemon as equals legally, and abolishing things like Pokeballs.
Of course I don't know if pokemon want that because becoming legal citizens meaaaans... taxes.
Taxes fucking suck almost as bad as these scrolls do.
I guess I'll ask again, anyone got a ghost that lived in Sinjoh?

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>>9601527
they can't. we are different.

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>>9601527
It's a lost cause. Accept your status as a lesser and turn it into an advantage. Let derision be your sword and disregard your aegis.

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>>9601449
>dorkest catte: flip selt
>bap other, less dorkey cat
No you. Baka.

>>9601576
>>9601590
>>9601604
>>9601605
Hm... Give me a minute.

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>>9601621
>Bap bap the cat
No you!
what the heck is a baka.

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>>9601740
>Rebap Overdrive the other cat
You. You're the baka. Baka.

>>9601527
I dunno if that's, like, possible.
Even the reformist dudes I hang out with aren't, like, going that far.

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JIRACHI!
I WANT TO TALK TO JIRACHI!

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>>9601865
Obviously they aren't. The net human gain from subjugation far outweighs the potential benefits of any abolitionist actions.

>>9601640
>squint

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>>9601841
But what is iiiit. What does it mean?
>Flop over the other catte
>You Defeated™
dork.

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>>9601927
What's up, kid?

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>>9601933
Shhh.
>>9601947
I WISH!
ALL POKEMON!
FROM NOW!
AND FOREVER!
HAD MAX IVs! That means no more breedjects! No more overpopulated forests!

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>>9601943
>Catte Status: Flipp'd
>Am turnways
I dunno. It's like. Mean or something tho.

>>9601865
Hang out with more radical reformists.

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>>9601947
>>9601973
>intensely waiting

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>>9601973
...Oh dear. That sounds like an obstetrical for my assorted casual acts of theft and assault.

>>9602011
Radicals draw unwanted attention. Good for flash in the pan operations though. Always amusing.

>>9601973
>GMs will reject this cause "Muh battle circlejerk"
>"Muh I need to be the strongest"

>>9602082
(everyone calcs with max IVs anyways dude, because putting in actual IVs is too much effort for our stupid asses, if Jiji DOESN'T grant this I'd be surprised)

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>>9601973
I'm sorry, that's out of my present powers. You've got two options, wait a few thousand years or ask Arceus.

>>9602106
(You gonna explain why OOC or just let anons claim circlejerk memes)

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>>9601974
>Now flop onto the other catte
>All according to keikaku.
Oh. Why are you so mean to meee.
>Paw at his face like a catte
>Because you are a catte.
>Miaou.

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>>9602082
(Quit whining. It's Gible's motive, not mine. Fucking faggot.)
>>9602106
Aww... I want an ice cream.

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>>9602146
(OOC we're saying no right now because it would ruin any potential breedject characters in the future. Gible worded it in a way that implies any pokemon from now on would have max IVs.)
>>9602157
That I can do.
>Casteliacone: Got.

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( GM Ray here. The issue of abusive breeding practices is part of multiple characters' backstory, and a random person calling "hey Jirachi fix the huge thing" is something we're trying to move away from. )
( It's being vetoed for RP reasons, not mechanical reasons. You can take max-IVs for Showdown calc purposes if you want, we're all cool with it. Accurate IV tracking is for turbospergs and we don't expect everyone to be a spergy as the few of us who do that. )

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>>9602146
(Would restrict chars where non maxed IVs are a plot point, the "now and forever" part making the wish even more absolute and lore reasons like IVs being tied to genetics)
(Sorry to the Gible)

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>>9602186
...How much would you charge for a moderately smaller favor?

>>9602157
>Am seaweed pile
>Am literally made of ice cream ingredients to an extent
>produce ice cream for the smol shark
Here.

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>>9602186
Okay, Jirachi, I've got a wish for you, hopefully it's not too much trouble, and I'd owe you of course.
Could you get me a book that can help me translate Sinjonian better than the one I've got now?

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>>9602186
>>9602201
>Two ice creams.
>This is the happiest he's been.
>Ever.
>Run off to share ice cream with friends.

>>9602186
Hey Jiraichi, can you give me a hamburger or two?

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>>9602201
No charge!
>>9602232
Yep, yep, might be a bit dusty.
>Rolling for how weathered/deteriorated the book is.
>>9602252
Yeah, yeah.
>Anon gets two hamburgers.

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>>9602322
>dubs book
>perfect condition!
Thank you Jirachi, how can I repay you, besides putting a shrine to you in the Statue-Towns when I build them?

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>>9602240
>Watch shark run off into the midday sun
...I hope he doesn't have a big brother in Almia, because if he does they're being served in a Kantonese restaurant right now. Hm. Oh well.

>>9602322
No charge? Doubtful. Regardless, it's a simple request. Casual act of necromancy. Possibly time travel. Just stepping on the domains of a few other legendaries for a favor. *ahem*

>Status: Very Aware that you're likely to get smited for asking
>Worth it.

Of course, failing that, I do have some rather nasty charges in Unova I need dropped.

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>>9602342
Uhhh... Can you get me some more energy drinks? Drop them off at, uh...
>Why the fuck doesn't Jirachi have a special area.
Birth Island? Watch out for Deo.
>>9602376
I dunno if I can bring someone back to life or do time travel. Ask onion fairy about that.
Can do the charges, you want that?

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>>9602440
Hrmf. Worth a shot. I assume a lavish payment wouldn't change your mind.

Very well, I will accept the heat reduction. Your services are appreciated.

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>>9602468
More like literally can't.
>Ding!
>Several folders in police offices and IP offices suddenly disappear.
>Several minds are wiped.
Done!

>>9602011
Pretty sure any more radical, and, like, they'd be wanted.
We've already done, like, rough stuff, too.
>>9601933
I don't have, like, the fancy policy documents that one of the dudes was writing.

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>>9602493
Better than nothing. Obliged. Where shall I send the payment?

>>9602510
...Could you obtain said fancy policy documents? I can pay quite well for them.

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>>9602440
keep calling me onion fairy watch what happens
>>9602557
where we going boss

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>>9602557
Biiiiirth Island?
>>9602564
Shut up, onion fairy.

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>>9602564
...I have no idea what you are.

>>9602591
I have no idea what that is.

>>9602510
What documents?

>>9602557
Uhh, once we're done writing them, sure, bro.
>>9602616
Basically, like, it was a "this is the stuff we'd like to do" list, and who to talk to about doing it.

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>>9602440
I'll see what I can do.
>Quincy puts down his dex and looks at the new book, grinning.
"Come on Zem, we've got an errand to run"
>He flies off on his Dragonite and delivers twelve cases of energy drinks to Jirachi
>Rollin for how long this takes

>>9602322
Hell yeah.
>Anon eats his burgers.

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>>9602604
In Hoenn!
Come on, dude.
>>9602640
>Very fast weeb.
Thanks, man!

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>>9602591
throw down right now
>>9602604
time travelling fairy?

I am of Kanto origin. Why do so many disrespect us?

>>9602725
Kanto a shit.

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>>9602682
...Do I need an account number or?

>>9602697
>equip notepad
>furious scribbling
...Assuming I were to attempt to cram you into an ultra ball and then use you to commit massive crimes, bring someone back from the dead, and murder several people, what would happen?

>>9602725
Because you underpay for the large number of fresh pokemon corpses I provide to your butcher shops.

>>9602725
Because most of Kanto and Johto is populated by hyperconservative troglodites.

Hey, anyone got any suggestions for what kind of Pokemon to add to my team?
Currently I've got an Umbreon and an Espeon, if possible I'd like to go for a day and night theme but it's not required.
Also has anyone ever had a Pokemon registered as being part of their team even though you don't remember catching them?

>>9602768
This is why?
>>9602770
>>9602813
I see... Perhaps I can bring Kanto back to it's previous glory.

>Anon grabs a few things.
>Rolling to see if Anon can get some followers.

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>>9602682
Not a problem, glad I could pay you back
>Quincy flies back to Cam's house
>Cam has been asleep for a long time, now that he thinks about it.
>Whatever, he's got scrolls to translate, this new book makes it actually fucking possible again!
>Rollan to study

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>>9602827
Hey, dude, if you want to change things in Kanto you're gonna need respect, and around these parts the only way to do that is to get Gym Badges.

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>>9602818
Solrock and Lunatone would fit your theme well. Heliolisk would be a nice addition without breaking theme. Your final Pokemon could be Gengar. With its own focus on dreams and nightmares you could say it fits the night aspect.

>>9602850
There are other ways to do this, my child. Perhaps our paths will cross soon.
In fact. I see it coming soon.
>Last roll was an odd.
>Add in secret weapon.
>Rolling to get some followers.

>>9602850
>I.e. you need to be part of the battling circlejerk that is this thread
You only make yourself look bad when you are like this

>>9602918
(That's just Vi's opinion, not mine, I personally would love to see Kanto change no matter how it happens but right now Vi thinks Kanto only respects people with battling prowess)

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>>9602850
Doesn't Kanto have non battling politicians? And a mob that sucks at battling?

>>9602939
Good I hate to see this thread that used to be something really comfy turn more into more of a GM gridded, circlejerk, battle simulator, then it already is

>>9602940
Sadly, they get swept aside because of Kanto's League fetishism.

>>9602976
(And that's how I know you came here to argue in bad faith)

>>9602903
>Odd.
>Anon must be having a bad day.
>He needs an FC too.

Pray tell, my team needs a fight. Is anyone willing?

>>9602976
>muh comfy
>ban anything that isn't hugging because muh comfy
>anything but muh comfy is gm circlejerk because im too lazy to write up characters that aren't erp bait
why won't this meme die

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>>9602903
Maybe, I'd love to help make Kanto move forward, see pokemon treated as something other than tools of battle, get the stigma of Pokephilia to go away forever, make this place recognize Steel, Dark and Fairy types... that sort of thing.

>>9602940
They all kiss ass to the League around here, as far as I can tell. Every time the League wants something legally, it happens, and when the League doesn't like something, it gets rolled up in a rug and thrown into the garbage. Maybe that can change if we elect better politicians, but I have yet to meet someone that can ignore the League and be a good leader.

>>9602976
(Dude could you present your points in a more passive aggressive manner? Here, I'll fucking show you how it's done.
"Hey guys, I'm worried that this place just isn't the same anymore, it's not the same atmosphere, it's all about battle, and I think the GMs need to be more open with us, involve us more in their decisions"
Boom, done.)

>>9602896
Funny you should Solrock and Lunatone, as those are the Pokemon that are apparently registered to me. Like I said though I have no memories of having them at any point, I'm not sure what's going on there.
I'll look into getting a Heliolisk and a Gengar though, seems like they'd fit in really well. Thanks for your help!
>John: finally stop being a dead character and put on your stylish red scarf and head out towards Gateon.
>Roll for travel time.

>>9603015
>implying erp bait
>implying it isn't true
>>9602995
Yes because I'm the one who took this roleplay in this direction

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>>9602995
>>9603033
So... all the people who make decisions for your country are battlers. Even on non battling decisions. And here I was thinking that Kanto might not be that bad.

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>>9602154
It amuses me
>bap paw like a catte
>you are also a catte
>mao

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>>9603104
Have you not seen Bruno posting here?

>>9603033
>implying nearly the entire discord aren't just a bunch of passive aggressive assholes
>Just like when Emrys left, Turts kicked, Meme kicked, Noodles kicked they were immediately shittalked
Try again sweetie

>>9603122
>rapist
>crazy
>shitposter
>shitposter
Yeah, can't imagine why anyone would shit talk those people.

>>9603122
(you do realize you're talking to Emrys right now right? I had actual problems and because I was admin of the discords no one wanted to talk to me about it, so once I left they were free to actually point out my flaws)
(Last (you) you're gonna get)

>>9603033
Pray tell, my child. You seek strength, as do I. A partnership? At the least I would like to see your strength in person.

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>>9602827
You can't reclaim something that wasn't there to start with.

>>9603120
Ex-Kantofag here. Bruno reminds me a lot of my old boss when I worked in Fuschia.
Which is to say, the same boss who fired me on the spot because somebody said "lol I caught one of your people bein a pokephile better can him".
Oh. Bruno never puts a shirt and shoes on, and he used to get upset that health codes were a thing.

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>>9603120
Nooope. I work nights. What's he like?
>>9603009
Nobody can accept if they don't know where you are.

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>>9603114
..I guess that's a decent enough reason.
>Cast dorkness
>Cover fagcattes eyes

>>9603104
Thankfully I live in more progressive regions, and if I didn't, I would be already buying a ticket out.

>>9603120
How did he get that far without strategy, disregard for health or a shirt baffles me.

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>>9603211
>loud mao-ing
>paw in the general direction of other catte's face
Hey! At least I don't have to see your stupid pancake face now!

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>>9603178
I'd be glad to have some help, I'm uh, up in Cerulean City, maybe meet me at the Battle Cafe?

>>9603201
Yeah, he's a fucking thick-headed idiot who thinks Kanto is the greatest region ever and the rest of the world needs to change to match it, it's so fucking STUPID.

>>9603206
He starts spouting shit like "Kanto is the top of the world and the rest of these sissy regions need to stay out of our business!" And he doesn't ever put on a shirt or shoes, ever, it's absurd.

>>9603234
He got there by having his Machamp punch the fuck out of anyone who disagreed, or so the story goes.

>>9603048
>John arrives in Gateon, still wondering why the Psyrocks are on his team if he doesn't have them with him.
Alright so, anyone in Kalos want to come with me to catch some Pokemon?
I'm hopping on a boat now so I should be there in about 30 minutes or so, probably.

>>9603189
You have a point, my friend.
>>9603206
Kanto. The land shattered into pieces. Perhaps I should change my name to Nobunaga.
>>9603201
>>9603234
...Interesting.
>>9603293
As you say. I will be there shortly.
>Equip robe.
>Get that FC revved up.
>Travel time with last number divided by 2.

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>>9603234
Which region would that be?
>>9603293
>>9603201
He's like Marshall. But somehow worse. Cheap Hoennese knock off style.
>>9603331
Ah, well. That's a no from me. Not that I battle anyway, my Pokemon are for research purposes only. Battling would mess with the results. Probably.

>>9603431
Slateportfag here, I know we export some shitty products but comparing us to Bruno is a low blow.

>>9603147
(he still was shittalked alot in the chat)
(even people were saying "don't be an emrys")

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>>9603274
>CreamsicleCatte: do an impulse thing.
>Smooch a dork
We look the saaame, ya dip.
>Regret near immediately.

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>>9603306
Kalos...?
Are you interested in trying experimental food? I'm gathering opinions on it to help improve my skills.
I'm mixing small amounts of my sludge into them, for flavor. I'm pretty sure they are safe to eat, considering I had a human try one yesterday and he came out fine. Even said it was good.

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>>9603471
>Deep Dark Dweeb: be smooched
...
>clutch contrasting color catte
>mack on that mf meowth mouth

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>>9603453
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOW BLOWS, WIMP?
>>9603431
Marshall is a knock-off of me, not the other way around!
Get it straight!

>>9603468
(Emrys here, also known as "Don't replace water with femcum in your waffle recipe and don't whine about being a horny bitch")

(What's the problem with Kanto?)

>>9603525
It's Kanto

>>9603525
(Nothing, it's just in-universe for PAR considered really conservative and bad on the human/pokemon rights front)

>>9603525
( In this RP, they're hyper-traditionalist and their League controls shit that the League really shouldn't have control over. )

>>9603525
(Basically think of the most racist, bigoted deep south shithole you can imagine, that's Kanto)

>>9603504
hi ray

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>>9603504
Uh huh. More like Marshall is you, but new and improved.
>>9603453
That's true. At least Hoenn has Brawly, who is also a better version of Bruno.
>>9603525
(Kanto has a reputation of being very conservative in PAR. Basically what everyone else already said. )

>>9603556
>>9603544
So /pol/?

>>9603567
(yes. kanto is /pol/)

>>9603306
Well, I guess nobod-

>>9603477
Sounds interesting, I'd try it.
If anything goes wrong I'm sure my Pokemon can rush me to a local hospital or something.
Looks like I'll be another 10 minutes or so until I arrive at Cyllage City.

>>9603592
based

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>>9603331
>1/2
>Very fast
>Vi is sitting in the Battle Cafe, waiting for anon and sharing a plate of waffles with Drax

>>9603431
Haven't met Marshall so I wouldn't know.

>>9603592
(So I can kill the jews there? nice.)

>>9603147
I know you won't reply to this but from what I remember it was usually Skitts bringing up the topic
>>9603143
>Rapist
More like really horny but not rapist and his lewd was annoying didn't bother me entirely though
>Crazy
The heart clac thing was stupid and he was mentally insane but more edgy then anything but like that anon pointed out a while ago it can be Googled at a moments notice so he most likely did it to seem "Le edgy cool" that or its the ladder

>Shitposter
The reaction to meme was blown out of the fucking water made me lose some respect for bones on how he acted on it

>shitposter 2
I still find it suspicious as fuck that he was kicked without reason after he said he'd be leaving either way
TBqH it made me trust Skitts and the other GMs less

>>9603431
Unova, which I like a lot. Even Marshall is more collected, for a musclehead.

>>9603504
Try talking with your mouth instead if your fists, these neurones are getting lonely.

>>9603599
>>9603611
4th Reich when?

>>9603617
>Googled at a moments
Yeah, hi noodles
disregarded

>>9603646
>implying
>disregarding legitimate concerns
Hi bones

>>9603669
try again

Who in PAR is a girl IRL?

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>>9603500
>Regret: immediately not there anymore holy heck this catto knows how to kiss
>CreamCat on the other hand does not.
>Sweat™
>Smooch up that dork dweeb as best you can

>>9603680
Only doing this for the lolz but Skitts
>>9603677
Nigger

>>9603680
Skitts
Bones
That one ERPfag the Discord picked up

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>>9603566
New, maybe, but I'd challenge the 'improved' part. You can't forget the classics!
>>9603643
What do you think I'm doing right now? I'm trying to relax after leg day!