ITT: Pokemon are real (An RP thread.) What do you think of EVs

>>9457192
Cock

These sites outages are seriously annoying, Kantomoot pls.

>>9457192
Noodles didn't make the fuck the haters thread.

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>>9457192
I feel like we shouldn't base the value of a Pokemon on their IVs, but I find that having my Dex tell me about EVs to be incredibly helpful, allowing me to help my pokemon grow in their strengths.

>character that has immortality due to legendary blessing
>one of his characters whole team has immunity to psychic abilities because of another legend blessing
>gave a character a minor legendary pokemon(heatran) and justified it with "its in their backstory why they have it and a level 100 team"
>necrozma is a invincible legend that faints for like 2 minutes tops
>has a shiny L100 metagross that has padding to make it even more powerful
>It uses power moves! And they have the same accuracy as normal moves because he wants it to

>is massively heterophobic, every time the subject of vaginas or straight relationships came up he points out how much he hates and dislikes them
>self inserts that into his characters, he had one of his characters use magic to curse all straight relationships to fail and had another of his characters bleach his brain after seeing a female
>decided that pokemon can mega evolve through gay thoughts, but not straight
>turned legendary pokemon into literal Gods and he plays the three most 'powerful' legendary pokemon (dialga, palkia and Arceus) and has them just apear in front of people just by saying their names out loud
>in fact he plays like half of the most powerful characters, he has like 10+ maybe even close to 20 characters and almost all of them are among the most powerful characters in the whole RP with the less powerful ones being basically nonexistent in the RP and only being kept around so that he can say "no, I don't only use power fantasy characters"
>decided to rename an entire pokemon species in the RP to fit his headcanon (sylvally into type: full)
>Nerfs everything and everyone down to the L60 and less range, and proceeds to bump up his own characters to L100 at the same time
>made it impossible for people to reasonably get close to the levels that his characters are at under the reasoning that "it would take months and months of training to get to that"

>>9457269
EVs are just a quantifier of the training done.

>>9457192
Bones is for slutting up and renting out.

>>9457236
and i am worthless for not trying to help make things better

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Michael plops on the couch, kicking his legs up and resting them on his friend's back.
"Yo, Leo, wake the fuck up!"
>>9457192
What the fuck are those?

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>>9457192
A useful measure for what would otherwise be vague definitions of strength and endurance.

>>9457246
Can I help you?

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>>9457192
Man, why was this thread down for so long?
Anyway EVs and IVs are what make pokemon usable.

>>9457305
Get therapy

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>>9457318
Cock!
>Splet

>>9457331
i probably should
then i would try to check up on low self esteem issues

>>9457401
You need to learn to love yourself instead of being so down on yourself.
I should also practice what I preach but fuck that wallowing in self hatred is easier

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>>9457318
>>9457339
Cock! Heh.

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>>9457297
Exactly, let lets me know how much farther my pokemon have to go to reach their full potential, and allows me to plan out in advance what areas I should focus on.

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>>9457311
"Err... must you do that?"
"In any case, it seems the Salazzle is waking up, prepare yourselves in case it attempts to trick us."

The big guy kneels next to the lewd lizard, holding the Ultra Ball in his left hand

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>>9457339
>attempt to unload the gunfish
>attempt to pop the splet in the chamber
Yes, hello;

>>9457427
>deadNside Seaweed noises
...No one is ever going to call me by my real name and I'm just going to have to accept that.

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>>9457311
>Siiiiiiiiiigh.
If I get back problems from this you're paying for a wheelchair.
>>9457402
>Leo sighs.
God help us.

>>9457417
I agree
I need to love myself more, but boy i had a problem doing that since i was 12 years old

>>9457285
(The immortality blessing got retconned.)
(Neither him nor his team are immune to psychic anything.)
(The Heatran got retconned out of existence. )
(His team got dropped down to level 85.)
(Everything in PAR has the same accuracy, and I'm not the only one to take advantage of that.)

(That is blatant bullshit, and 90% of the time my mentions of vaginas or straight relationships are jokes. My bad he's too autistic to get jokes)
(The straight curse is a joke and not an actual thing.)
(The gay Mega Evolution thing was said as a joke. The character who mentioned it even said "if you actually believe this you're a dumb ass". Not my fault people ran with it.)
(I dropped Dialga a looooong time ago and I talked to the other GMs yesterday about passing off Palkia. Every GM plays an Arceus.)
(I have 20 characters, and seven of them are powerful. The three I play most aren't. )
(I don't even headcanon Silvally's species name being Type: Full. I suggested that the characters be called that to differentiate between the individual and the species.)
(I nerfed most of my character's levels, actually. The only ones who are still level 100 are N and Sun. )

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>>9457484
>Fishtol: disabled.
>For now.
Hiiii.
That is your real name though!

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>>9457484
Heh heh, imagine it. Cock's museum of antiquities.

>>9457541
Hello, heh!

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>third and final cosplayer: awaken from 13 hour beauty nap
>realize everyone is gone
Crrrrrrrrap.

>>9457638
13 hours? I slept 16.
I should go back to the pokemart and tell my boss to cram it, then to the lab and tell Rowan to go fuck himself with a Cacnea

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>>9457490
"Arceus cannot save us from this one."
>He watches the lizard slowly stir awake, and covers his nose with his handkerchief
"...I take it you wished to join me?"

*brap*

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Who wants to ERP with me~?

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>>9457722
...I hope you don't plan on coming back to Sinnoh, once I get you your ticket, that's a good way to burn bridges.

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>>9457478
"You make me carry you everywhere anyway!"
>The feet are removed from Leo's back regardless, shifted so that one leg rests on the back of the couch and the other hangs over the side.
>>9457478
"Do what? Harass Leo? Harassing Leo is part of my daily routine! If I didn't harass Leo who would keep him on his toes, huh?"
>One hand flips his bangs in a dramatic gesture, the other digging through his pocket for Beedrill's Pokeball.
>>9457638
..... heyyyyy Sara!

>>9457756
ME

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>>9457541
My name is AL-cock. AL-cock. Why does no one say the first part?

>>9457581
I'm sure that name will attract the refined and cultured audience I seek.

>>9457756
me
>fucks the austism dog
>the end

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>>9457581
Hi Gask!

>>9457780
Cock.
Because it's all cock.
>Remivolver: be way too proud of that horrible I don't even know what to call that.

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>>9457638
>Bwoop.
>Message from Leo.
>"We're in Sinnoh right now. Pizza is in the fridge."
>>9457731
>Leo fiddles with a pokeball at his belt.
>>9457765
"Thank you."
>Leo watches the blue haired buff man try to woo the lusty Alolan maid.

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>>9457722
You got a job lined up once you're out?
I don't know if my boss is hiring, but I can ask.

>Ollie leans back at home, and makes sure his team's got some out-of-the-Pokeball time.
"Alright, we've got some down time. Don't go too far from the building, okay?"

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>>9457831
...Cold pizza. Great, carbs. That's good for my figure.

>>9457765
>New Voice Message from: Sara
Ssoooo what, you guys just left me at home and fucked off to Sinnoh? Wow. Okay. Ratchet. You better bring me back something nice.

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>>9457765
>>9457831
>The lizard nods her head, and scratches the Pokeball seductively before pressing the button on it, absorbing herself into the device
>it wobbles in the man's hand three times, and then dings
"That was in fact easier than expected"
>He stands up, looking at the Ultra Ball
"I suppose now would be a good time to discuss how I'm going to repay you for your assistance in dealing with this problem."

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>>9457757
This whole region can rot for all I care.
Damn, I shouldn't feel this excited about a potential end to my life.
Oh yeah, you wanted a photo
>Horrible pokemart group photo shoot uploaded
>One of the faces is circled

>>9457875
Haha, no.

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>>9457989
Gonna need a last name too, so I can get the ticket. And I need to know where you want to go.

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>>9457824
...Your nauseatingly constant cheerfulness and sophomoric tone fills me with emotions I previously didn't realize existed. I do not know if this is good or bad. If you die before I do, I'm putting your body in the nicest display case I have.

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>>9457922
>New text from: Kamina
>"I'm bringing the best thing back!"
>"ME"
>>9457964
>A shit eating grin forms on Michael's face
"So what, you're in our debt now? Don't worry, real men don't hold things like that over people's he-"
>His sentence is cut short when Greninja clamps a hand over his mouth, gesturing at Leo with his the free hand
"Mppmph."
>>9457831
>A thumbs up is given, Michael wiping frog slime off of his face.

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>>9457824
Cock, cock, cock, heh.

>>9458076
He's a good 'mon, heh. We should get you with a nice acidproof mate, heh heh.

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>>9458076
Sweeeeet! I get to be in a museum!
>This excites the fishtol
>And re arms it
>Splet the Cock
Thank yooou.

>>9458126
Cock!

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>>9457922
>New text from Leo.
>"Please eat something. And for the love of god don't use the stove."
>"How does a key stone sound?"
>>9457964
>Leo nods.
"We're after key stones and mega stones. Any way you could get any of those for us? At the very least three key stones."
>>9458114
>A loud sigh is all Michael gets back in response.

>>9458126
have you seen nirie's dick?
and did he see yours?

>>9458017
Ian Reidd, going to Johto probably.
I think she mentioned being there.

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>>9458126
I'm already mated to my work. And I'd rather not relive my last...
>eye twitch
attempt at an amorous experience.

>>9458153
>splet: dodged
Glad to be of service.

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>>9458114
"...Right, well then, real gentlemen also repay their debts, and I intend to repay mine."

>>9458184
"Would you happen to know where I could acquire them? I'm sure I can arrange it, but I need to know where to look first"

Does anyone here happen to know how to deal with two hundred pounds of garbage?
I do not believe burning it within city limits is viable.

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>>9458246
Heh heh, maybe we should find you another Cock, eh.

>>9458202
>Fetch Alcock's Internet connected device
>See this post
Not yet, heh

>>9458286
bring it to the anthill...

Sooo... What kind of things do humans wear?
...I have a bedsheet and a party hat?

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>>9458114
>New Text From: Sara
>Fuck that, I want shoes.

>>9458184
>New Text from: Sara
>I ate a salad last night, I'm fine

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>>9458246
>Fish: have a brief moment of actually being smart. Ish.
...HEY!
What about Kebia berries!
Would those help with your thing???

>>9458309
Unless there's a magic anthill which makes rotting meat disappear overnight in central Kalos, I'm not interested.

>Cultanon and sect: roll for successful covert action.

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>>9458259
"Yeah sure, everyone knows gentleman aren't true men!"
>>9458184
>He almost falls off the couch swinging and scrambling forward to poke Leo's side
"Hey! Don't you sass me you limp noodle!"
>>9458329
>Incoming text message: Kamina
>"Hey! That's no way to talk to your new fiance!"

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>>9458259
"We'd have to go over to Kalos. They don't ship them, sadly."
>>9458329
>New text from: Leo.
>"Alright. You want to meet us in Kalos?"
>>9458411
>Leo smirks.
"You picked that one up from your ex, right?"

>>9458305
nice
you two probably should

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>>9458313
Man you people are no help.

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>>9458305
The main Alcock bloodline died out years ago. I am the last scion of the family name. Also, inbreeding has been the downfall of far too many aristocratic clans, I see no reason to join in that lovely little archaic practice.

>>9458336
For a while, yes, but I'd rather not preface my mornings by dunking a harlot in fruit. My work is worth more to me than the effort it would take to pursue a relationship. I'm a middle-aged museum curator with an extensive list of artifacts that need to be liberated from savages, not a freshly hatched salamence.

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>>9458411
"I can see we have very different ideas of what being a man means, but let's not fight over it, we have bigger matters at hand."
>He looks to Leo

>>9458440
"Kalos, you say? Well, I have wished to travel, but without a pokemon, it seemed I would have no real reason to do so, now though..."
>His eyes wander to the ball in his left hand
"Perhaps seeing the world will be good for me, very well, I'll get us plane tickets"

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>>9458228
Johto it is! Uh... I'll just put your flight for tomorrow, if that's okay?

>>9458523
you know getting a bf means youll have protection
especially if theyre dumb

>>9458569
Yeah, that should be enough to get all my things packed and tell Sinnoh to go fuck itself.
Thanks mate.

>>9458618
cock

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>>9458523
>Splettershot jr.: Not having a smart moment anymore.
>Most of this goes over his head
Sooo they would??
We should get some berries and planters then!

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>>9458523
Heh heh, a cock but not from Cock.

>>9458460
Soon, maybe, heh.

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>>9458411
...
>New Message From: Sara
>Michael if I don't see a new pair of shoes by next week I'm throwing your glasses in the campus pool.

>>9458440
>New Text From: Sara
>Shiiiiiit always wanted to go
>Where u at?

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway.
New trainer here, definitely human. I just love havin' skin.
What are some good pokes? I think I want a Zoroark and a Mimikyu definitely.

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>>9458702
Both of those are terrible ideas.

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Um, hello?
Does anyone know how hard the first Alola Island Challenge is?
I'm worried that I'm not not gonna be good enough...

>Anna looks around a bit.
"Tiff? Joyeuse? Are you here?"

>>9458702
Hello. definitely human.
Those are pretty good, a Shuppet would go well with them.

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>>9458604
...
>equip notepad: can trade false affection for free security

>>9458656
You want to start a fruit plantation...on the boat?

>>9458664
Oh. OH. Well that's. That's uncouth.
>flustered poison dragon seaweed archaeologist curator thief murderer noises

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>>9458733
"Right here Anna"
>Firecat: do the flop onto the little girl
"So we're taking on the first Trial tomorrow or something, right?"

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>>9458702
Suuuure, bro.
Like, I'd start with, like, not a Zoroark or Mimikyu. That's like, hard-mode start.

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>>9458732
Fight me.
>>9458733
Hey! I've always wanted to do one of them challenges. You wanna partner up or whatever, slick?
I can get over there in a second. Literally! Yuk yuk.
>>9458751
Thanks, slick.

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>>9458440
>A scandalized gasp is heard, Michael clasping his hands over his chest in mock pain
"Who the hell do you think I am, Leo? No man in their right mind would call me a wimp noodle with muscles like THESE!"
>To prove he stretches and flexes multiple times.
>>9458554
"Yeah yeah, okay."
>>9458677
>Duplicate message from: Kamina
>"Damnit Sara, you're such a bitch sometimes!"
>"If I see those glasses in the pool I'm torching one of your dresses!"

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>>9458755
Exactly! Yes.
Then we could have as many of those berries as we want! And other ones too.

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>>9458554
"Planes are boooooring."
>The Doublade and Sableye are sent out.
I think I can cut the costs.
>>9458677
>And there's another push notif from Leo.
>"Sinnoh. Going to be in Kalos soon."
>"Wanna race there?"
>>9458809
>Leo stifles a laugh.
"No, I know that. Your dick."

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>>9458759
>Anna: pat the cat
"Sure! The first one's here on Melemele. I'm a little scared, but I'm excited!"
"Do you really think we can do it?"

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>>9458733
Very easy with the proper team.
While topic is on the first trial, I ask about the legal repercussions of smashing into the trial site and taking the Z-Crystal.
Asking for a friend of the Admin.

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>>9458755
Heh heh, you like the idea don't you?

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>>9458890
Umm... that sounds really bad.
You'd probably get in trouble.

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>>9458809
Psssh.
>delet message

>>9458842
>it's implied these are IMs back and forth at this point so i'm just gonna stop pointing it out
>Gimme a city name

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>>9458890
Um... I don't know about the police, but the Tapus will be really mad if they find out!

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>>9458809
"I think that is slightly excessive... oh dear, it occurs to me I don't know your names, and have forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Durzo, Durzo Jones"

>>9458842
"Oh? How so?"
>He pointedly ignores the rudeness these two are spouting at each other

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>>9458786
Arright!
Man I just got rejected by a little girl. I need to rethink my life.
Is it the sheet? It's the sheet, ain't it?

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>>9458828
...Could sell those tax free I guess.

>>9458915
I'm assuming you mean the berry farming idea because the other option is simply lewd. On that note, It's not the worst idea I've ever heard. Somehow.

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>>9458974
why are you wearing a sheet for

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>>9458919
>>9458936
I will relay this data to the friend of the Admin on time.
Thank you for your help
>Worried beeps

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>>9458974
Bro, the kid probably, like, got distracted.
Stuff happens.
Also, uh... it might be the sheet. Try, like, some jeans and a cheap tee?

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>>9458989
Heh, they're both great ideas.
Hear me, Cock's Berry Farm, heh heh.

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>>9458989
Yeah!
Free money!
And stuff.

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>>9459022
...I thought it made me look more human-y?
>>9459037
PANTS ARE HORRIBLE! ARE YOU TRYINNA KILL ME?

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>>9459050
Yes. When people look for something to eat, they clearly want to think of giant poison dragons with acid for blood.

>>9459064
I do enjoy money...

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>>9458842
"Ouch! No, I got it from one of yours!"
>To emphasize the last word he prods Leo's side, aiming for a ticklish point.
>>9458927
>Hey, here's your shoes ya bimbo!
>sent woodenclogs.jpg
>>9458958
>The cosplayer puffs his chest out, one hand at his waist and the other gesturing at himself, a wide grin on his face the entire time.
"You can call me Kamina! The one and only Kamina, here in your home! Don't believe what those damn doubles say, I'm the real Kamina!"

>>9459077
Human-y?
What

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>>9459103
>The peench of impeccable timing chooses this moment to awaken from hibernation.
>Unfortunately he also chooses this moment to bite down on Alcock's tail
i peench.

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>>9459077
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I had a cat in my lap!
We could team up sometime!
I'm in Alola! It's really neat here, and great for Training!

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>>9459077
i ain't never seen no human wearing a sheet before. Also pants are pretty dumb.

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>>9458927
>"Going to be Shalour City it looks like. Can you get there without messing up your makeup?"
>>9458958
>The Doublade floats over to Durzo.
"A pleasure to meet you. We're going to be travelling via shadows. Try not to throw up."
>>9459109
"Did you try to sleep with her...?"
>Leo tries to contain his shit and not laugh at the mention of doubles.
>Rolling.

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>>9459103
Cock's floating berry farm and museum, how about that, heh?

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>>9459109
>kys Mikey
>and put a shirt on you look basic

>>9459149
>probably not but I can get my overnight bags and my travel kit and a few dresses together in a few hours

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>>9459127
...What?
>>9459141
Best dang partner ya ever had, kid. Name's, uh...
>Stare at ID card.
F...F...Ffff...
Paulie?
>Rolling with last number to get over there via shenanigans.
>>9459146
Ain't they? Ain't even got enough space to move or anything.

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>>9459103
Money isss nice.
>Splet a Cock
Sooo? Wanna do it??

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>>9459149
"Hell no! I ain't down for double dipp.... HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?! YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY, NERD?!"
>Michael grabs his room mate in a headlock, free hand poised for a noogie
>>9459209
>Shirts are for twinks!
>Take the god damned eyepatch off, you look like a fucking pirate! What the hell are you aiming for, a Pirates of the Carribean cosplay?

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>>9459109
"Very well then"
>Durzo has the straightest face possible, as he realizes he's fell in with at least one crazy person. No one can be a TV character, after all, though Durzo HAS been trying to emulate one.

>>9459149
"Through shadows? That... I have never heard of such a method. It appears I have a lot to learn."
>He seems to not even be phased by the talking pokemon, but then again he's still holding his straight face from hearing about Kamina

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>>9459217
but why don't you wear normal human clothes.

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>>9458846
"I think we can, Anna, I think we can"
>Try not to purr
>Purr a lot
>Pets are the best

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>>9459194
Hmm? The museum is already established. Mostly. Found an attractive grotto that's a reasonable distance from the old family villa. Took a while to hollow out and expand, but it's coming along quite nicely.

>>9459239
Agriculture isn't particularly profitable, but I suppose subsidizing our travels with an allegedly wholesome industry is a decent cover.

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>>9458618
Not a problem, tomorrow at 10PM is your flight, have fun, and if you need any more help, feel free to get in touch with me!

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>>9459209
>Cry internally.
>"Alright but you're going to miss out on Kalosian makeup and hair caaaaaaaaaare."
>"We can use Michael's credit card."
>>9459250
"Michael for the love of god if you noogie me I'm not buying you a real katana."
>>9459256
>Leo sighs a bit and pokes his Sableye.
"You and Doublade. Gotta take us to Shalour City. Understand?"

>Both the pokemon nod.
>Rolling for accuracy of travel.
>Dubs: In Shalour City.
>Evens: Right outside.
>Odds: In one of the routes.
>Any fails: In Snowbelle.

(Hey do we really have to use the thread in discord when this is avaliable now?)

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>>9459282
Yes! Exactly that bunch of words you said that I totally understood.

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>>9459282
Heh heh, we should go there and check it out

>>9459239
I'm in, heh.

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>>9459324
>fuk
>you got me
>get a Greyhoundoom ticket to Shalour
>rolling for travel time, last two numbers

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>>9459360
(Nah, not really. It's mostly a backup, but if someone doesn't feel like clogging the actual thread with their character that works too.)
>>9459324
>He grumbles, whines, and glares, but gives in to the promise of an actual katana. The hand originally intended to give him a noogie just pats and strokes his hair instead.
"Fiiine, you got me. This better be a bitchin' katana!"

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>>9459324
>rolling to not puke
>gentlemen don't puke

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>>9459367
>pet gun
I promise to kill you painlessly and in a manner that allows an open casket burial in my sudden but inevitable act of betrayal.

>>9459382
I- uh... I-it's not really ready all the way but I mean uh... If you want to, very well.
>giddy seaweed sounds

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>>9459409
>Nice.
>>9459439
"Thank you. Were you so distracted you didn't even notice us in Shalour?"
"...Well outside."
>>9459446
>Leo laughs a bit.
>Just outside Shalour.
>Doublade and Sableye are going to be out for a while.

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>>9459270
>Pets are the best.
"We'll do it tomorrow, then!"
"I bet Daddy's gonna be so proud once we win!"

>>9459285
Sweet, enough to get the last things ready. Thanks, again.
What is your opinion on Shuppet, by the way.

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>>9459491
"I think we should be proud of ourselves when we win, and we will win, I think we've trained enough to take on the first trial, at least"
>Happy firecat noises

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>>9459259
...Because?
>>9459491
>Freak-in-a-sheet: Appear.
Hey! Heard you were in the neighborhood for a training pal. Well, I'm a pro. Or somethin'.
>>9459530
>If firecatte is perceptive enough she'd notice the freak doesn't have his translator turned on, even though he seems to understand.
Alola, catte.

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>>9459487
"That was... nauseating."
>Durzo takes a deep breath.
"But we are here, so I cannot discount the method entirely, do you know where we must go now, or shall I ask?"

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>>9459382
Cool!

>>9459454
>[Splets internally]
Ice beaaam.
I wanna see the museum too!

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>>9459554
"...What in Arceus' name are you, because you're not human, and I've never seen a Pokemon anything like you"
>Firecat: make bell flare a bit.

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>Pink Monster: Arrive in Kalos
>Roll not to screech in joy
HAHA, TIME FOR SHOPPING!

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>>9459530
"Yeah! It'll be great!"
>Kiddo confidence: maximum
>>9459554
"AAAAAHH!"
"It's a ghost! And not Joyeuse!"

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>>9459454
I bet it's in a secret place with not many watchers, heh.

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>>9459487
"What the hell is a Shalour?!"
>The nerd is dropped as Michael begins looking around, squinting in suspicion at the city
"Where the hell are we? Weren't we just inside?"

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>>9459592
"You are rude as heck. I am a normal human and don't have any ulterior motives. Heck, I just want to train some pokes."
>>9459627
"Shhh! Shuuushh. Is it really that convincin'?"

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>>9459554
Look really.... not practical at all.

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>>9459664
"Uh huh, Anna avert your eyes on the small chance I'm wrong"
>Firecat: pull off the sheet

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>>9459568
>Leo points.
"Up to the tower I think?"
>>9459614
"Hey! Over here."
>>9459646
>Flop on floor.
>Stand up and dust self off.
"Magic."

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>>9459574
No ice beams allowed.

>>9459634
Yes, it's something of a strain to get visitors in a semi-flooded grotto. I've been trying to advertise more. Paid a pory 50 unoven dollars to advertise in some Kantoese Juggling Forum.

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>>9459646
"...Kamina, did you miss the part where Leo said we were traveling to Kalos?"

>>9459691
"The tower? Very well then... who is the girl?"

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>>9459664
"EEEP!"
>>9459689
>Anna clenches her eyes shut.

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>>9459671
PRESENTLY DYIN'.
>>9459689
>Odd.
>Fuck I hadn't gotten the alt FC together I'm bsing a bit, sorry.
>Yoink sheet plus cat decoration up.
"Can't ya take a guy to dinner first?"
>>9459774
"Hey, mind givin' me some help?

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>>9459721
Yes.
The coolest splet.
>Splet with a moderately chilly waterjet

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>>9459837
"I don't take guys out to dinner when they're lying scumbags trying to cheat children!"
>Firecat: FIRE FANG

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>>9459877
>O fucc the gunfish jammed
>With ice
>Muffled fishy screaming

Greetings.
Can anyone tell me how to dispose of a, ahem, fairly large dead Pokemon?
Err, mon ami passed last night. I'm, er, not sure how to deal with this. It's all so sudden.

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>>9459721
Heh heh, a nice place for Cock.

>>9459877
...are you okay, eh?

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>>9459837
>>9459889
whoa. I love a good show.

>>9459900
Neat. I just mash them up and feed them to another pokemon.

also story. Now.

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>>9459837
"EEK!"
>Face: still covered.
>>9459889
"Tiff, help! I'm scared!"

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>>9459877
Do no-

>>9459894
>bap the icey fishtol
>bap gently until it stops being suffocated
Gods above, you're lucky I hate you slightly less than everyone else here...

>>9459923
...That sounded lewd and I do not approve.

>>9459900
Acid. Lots of acid.

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>>9459889
ALRIGHT YER NOT VERY NICE I SEE HOW THIS KINDA THING IS.
>>9459954
I'M GOIN' GEEZ THE FIRST PEOPLE I TALK TO ARE A BUNCHA PSYCHOS.
>Paulie: Get the hell out.
>>9459900
Hey I'm a perfectly normal human with blood n' stuff. You need help? I'm sure I got a pal that could do somethin' for ya.

>>9459928
E-Err, no story, mon ami. Just a bad heart and a sunrise he didn't live to see.
H-how long will it take to dispose of two hundred pounds of body in total? We have a Grumpig, and several small Flying and Bug Pokemon.
>>9459990
That may work better, mon ami.
>>9460010
Yes! yes, please! Where can I meet you? I am in Kalos!

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>>9459691
>throw full bags at the Leo
You're carrying my new wardrobe. Fall is coming.

>>9459748
>way2perky grin: activate
>bottle blond: be blondest
Sara. Pleased to meet you.
>curtsey

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>>9460036
ahhh grumpig will finish that off in like an hour. Same with those disgusting bugs. they love eating dead rotting stuff. you might not even have to liquefy the body!
What died?

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>>9460010
AND STAY GONE!
Calls us psychos when he's the one hiding under a sheet and invading people's homes...

>>9459954
He's gone now, it's okay.
>She cuddles up against the little girl and comforts her until she falls asleep

>Lesson people need to learn: do not fuck with the firecat

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>>9459748
>"Kamina" scoffs, flicking his head to get the bangs away from his mouth.
"Hell yeah I did! We were having a battle of the wits!"
>>9459691
>A hand smacks the nerd's back several times, Michael forcing an obviously fake laugh.
"Ha ha, very funny Leo!"

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>>9459990
>Eject icecube
>Possibly directly into snoot
thank youuu.

>>9459923
I am now!

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>>9460036
How's Couriway sound? I think I can arrange somethin'.
>Rollan~

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>>9460099
>Fucc
>I don't know what to do with this
>The gun is not having a good time

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>>9459748
>"That's-"
>>9460064
>He's cut off by the bags.
"Sara, oh god how much money did you spend?"
>>9460093
>He puts a few of the bags into Michael's arms and pulls the most deadpan face he can make.
"I'm not joking."

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>>9459990
Lewd? Just your head, heh, think with the one on top and not the lower one, heh heh.

>>9460099
>>9460144
Heh, chill.

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>>9460099
Damn it.
>attempt to preform CPR on-

>>9460144
Oh. Nevermind I guess.

>>9460197
What I do with either head is my own business thank you.

>>9460076
E-Excellent! M-my leader will be pleased!
>>9460114
>Very Nervous Cultist: kicking around a Couriway basement, with three dead Pokemon - a Flaafy, a Zangoose and a Chatot.

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>>9460064
"It's nice to meet you as well, Sara, I am Durzo Jones, I take it these are your friends?"
>He motions to the other two
"I'm repaying them for helping me out of a difficult situation, I understand now why they wished for three Key Stones rather than simply two"

>>9460093
"I see. Shall we head towards the tower then?

>>9460164
"I take it you share expenses?"

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>>9460197
i am always chilled.

>>9460268
I'm okaaay.
I think.
no more icy splets for tonight.

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>>9460081
"T-Thanks, Tiff..."
>Kiddo: nod off, feeling safe, and petting catte.

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>>9460164
>A grunt escapes him as the bags and thrust into his arms
"Hey... Why do I have to carry the bimbo's shit?"
>>9460064
"Hey, Sara! Come get your shit!"
>>9460326
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but a tower sounds like my kinda thing!"
>He runs off in a random direction, not actually certain where the tower is.

>>9460363
(*as the bags are)

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>>9460268
Come on heh, we're between friends, heh heh.

>>9460343
Don't start with the fire splets now, heh.

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>>9460312
>Freak-in-a-sheet: Knock knock.
Hey, you the guy I'm lookin' for?
>You can hear a brief argument.
>C'mon. Gotta be a Swalot for all of fifteen seconds.
>Thank you!

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>>9460164
Yes.

>>9460326
>tilt head to better hide your roots
>damn cheap-ass dye
Charmed, I'm sure~
I simply canNOT thank you enough.

>>9460363
>hairflip.gif
Aww. You're such a sweatheart. You shouldn't have.
>look in bag
>throw bag at the Kamina
You REALLY shouldn't have. Ugh. This is the cheapest garbage I've ever seen. You have, like, no taste at all. Hashtag basic.

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>>9460326
"Mostly. I pay for most of it."
>>9460363
"If you don't I'm not buying you a katana."
>>9460411
"Sara, why?"

>>9460402
>Anxious Cultist is wearing a bloody outfit.
"H-Hey there! You're the person here to deal with the, er, bodies?"
"-II don't c-care what you do with them, I just want them gone. Our work's g-g-going to go to waste if I'm c-caught with these!"

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>>9460363
"...That is the wrong way, is he blind? The Tower is clearly right over here"
>He points towards the enormous structure

>>9460411
"There is no need to thank me, I am simply repaying a debt, had these two not come to aid me I would have been either trapped in my house for the rest of my life, or at the mercy of a Salazzle"

>>9460441
"I see, well then, let us be off, I wish to see what is so special about these Key Stones that the three of you require my assistance to purchase them"

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>>9460466
"Yeah, yeah. You got any pokeballs? I'll take that as payment."
>The """"Swalot"""" comes forward and starts eating the bodies.
>You can hear it choke and gag.
"Uh, he's a little full... Don't worryy."
>"Swalot" will vomit on dubfail, odds and he's going to look very sick.

>>9460516
>The anxious cultist hands over two Pokeballs!
"H-here! It's all I've got, I-I s-swear!"
"J-just do what you have to a-and go!"

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>>9460411
>The bag soars past Kamina, earning her a booming laugh in response
"CHEAP BITCH GETS CHEAP SHIT, SARA!"
>>9460441
"Fine, whatever, you're slow as hell Leo LET'S GET GOING WE GOTTA TOWER TO SEE!"
>Leo is grabbed and tossed over his shoulder, Kamina still laughing and fleeing the wrath of the blonde bitch
>>9460515
"Oh hell, you're right!"
>He skids to a halt, does a complete 180, and runs in the proper direction this time

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>>9460567
>SWALOT DIDN'T VOMIT.
>The corpses are cleaned up.
"See? That's how ya do it in Kanto, bud. Better take a shower."
>Pocket the pokeballs.
"Thanks, slick. have fun with your biz."
>"Paulie" fucks out of there before anything goes south.

>>9460623
>Anxious cultist: try not to vomit. Fail on odds.
T-Thanks... I-I'll try to have a p-plan next time...
>Time for a cold shower and a serious look at what you're doing with your life.

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>>9460441
YES!

>>9460515
>pokefucker and a NEET
>he is no longer attractive, move on
Uhuh.

>>9460593
I FUCKED YOUR DAD

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>>9460515
"We're going to need mega stones too..."
>Leo-
>>9460593
>Shoulder'd.
"Alright. I'll just ride your shoulder from now on I guess."
>>9460752
SARA WE'RE GOING.

>>9460593
"Well, it seems he does have eyes!"

>>9460752
"It's true, the Salazzle was at my windows, attempting to lure me out so it could enslave me, I was, in effect, trapped, quite the difficult situation, given that I rather liked my walks through Sinnoh."

>>9460815
"Is this normal for you?"

-Durzo, out of images because apparently no one makes art of Jonathan Joestar

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>>9460752
>Another hearty chuckle from the weeb jostles the boxes and Leo.
"JOKES ON YOU, UNLIKE ME MY DAD IS KINDA UGLY! SHOWS HOW LOW YOUR STANDARDS ARE!"
>>9460815
"Yeah well maybe if you weren't so slow we wouldn't be having this problem! Didja think of that, Leo?"

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>>9460815
BUT THE SHOES
THE SHOOOOOOOOES

>>9460992
...Why was there a Salazzle in Shinnoh?

>>9460997
YOU'RE RIGHT, HE'S KINDA UGLY WHERE AS YOU'RE LIKE TOTALLY UGLY
NICE NIPS

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>>9460992
Basically. I've rode Michael more than I've rode the bus.
>Leo waits to see who gets the implication first.
>>9460997
At least I don't fall on my face every four minutes.
>>9461081
No more shoes. Please.
We're going to get some cool accessories.

>>9461081
If I knew, I would tell you. My best guess is a Breeder let it loose. But no matter, it is no longer a problem, these two enabled me to capture it, and now it cannot enslave me to it's will, and must in fact protect me instead.

>>9461109
Well then, I suppose I can't judge odd habits. Ah, we are almost here!
>Durzo looks up at the tower
This place is... immense, much larger than my own manse, it is shocking, really, to see such a large building in such an otherwise small town.

-Durzo

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>>9461081
>A scandalized gasp and a glare are his response
"IF THAT WERE TRUE I WOULDNT HAVE AS MANY PEOPLE TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS AS YOU DO SHOES IN YOUR CLOSET!"
"AND THANK YOU, THEYRE NICE NIPPLES, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GIVE THEM A FEEL SOMETIME"
>>9461109
>Leo is intentionally jostled enough that he slips forward a bit - if he slips any further he'll be in danger of losing an eye on a nipple.
"Whoooops, sorry Leo, looks like your face might be hitting the floor soon after all! What a shame, what would all those college girls do if your pretty face got damaged?"

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>>9461109
>the screech that emits from this statement causes several doggos to die from massive inner ear hemorrhaging

>>9461184
...Lewd. Not ladylike at all.

>>9461313
>flick the nip
Picking up bimbos doesn't count.

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>>9461184
It's fairly common. People usually build a large structure and the town forms around it.
>>9461313
>Leo clings to Michael for dear life.
If you drop me I'm not going to be able to get you a katana. And I swear I'll take a nip with me.
>>9461382
>Die internally.

Hello again PAR, I'd like to know a thing or two about the Shuppet line and how good they are as a starter.

>>9461464
Just don't be a dick or lift up the sheet and you'll probably be golden.

>>9461464
First tip, don't try to lift the sheet.
Second tip, don't be a total asshole, Ghosts can fuck your day up if you are.
Ghost-types tend to be a bit mischievous, but if you're alright with that you should do fine.

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>>9461400
>Michael chuckles , but stops jostling him all the same.
"Then I guess you should hold on tight, eh Le-"
>>9461382
>His lip bleeds a bit as he bites down on it in an attempt to hold back a shriek.
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU CRAZY BITCH, THOSE ARE SENSITIVE!"

>>9461464
They're cute. Don't life the sheet, and once it evolves don't touch the zipper. It might be a bit of a brat, but if you treat it right and don't do anything to trigger the abandonment issues, you're good.

>>9461400
IWANTANEWBAGANDLIPGLOSSANDFALSIESANDNEWEARINGSANDABELTANDBANGLESAND-
>this goes on for several minuets

>>9461538
Ooops~
That's not very feminine of me, is it? Must've been the vapors.

>>9461477
>>9461500
I know about avoiding lifting the sheet, poking under the sheet or undoing the zippers on a Banette, but thanks. Does the Shuppet survive after that, because that worries me more.

At this point in life, I think I can handle mischievous pokies, can not be any worse than little kids.

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>>9461583
Drink

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>>9460400
...Nothing will be going between anything else.

>>9460343
Stop dying.

>>9461382
Forgive me, what part of that was lewd? If you are implying I am... oh what is the term, a pokephilliac? Then you are sorely mistaken, I intend to use the Salazzle to keep myself safe on the road.

>>9461400
I suppose, but in Sinnoh, typically there are large buildings around the central one, here it is quite different.
Well, perhaps we should see what is inside, behind these doors!
>He knocks on them, and patently waits for a response
-Durzo

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>>9460400
okaaay.

>>9461618
I did!
I'll be fine.

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>>9461538
Oh god this is how I'm going to die.
>>9461583
>Die internally more.
Okay.
>>9461628
>Leo siiiiiiighs.
You want a Doublade? You're doing a lot for us.
Fare trade. You could name him Luck and Pluck.

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>>9461618
Heh heh, maybe I'll just bring Nirie in to your hideout and have a nice session. You can watch, heh.

>>9461646
>Pat the gun's
Good, heh.

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>>9461583
>>9461596
"YOU LITTLE FUCKING..."
>Foot: applied directly to ass.
>>9461697
"You'll be fine Leo, stop being such a baby! You're a man, use that manly grip of yours!"

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>>9461646
...That is apparent yes.

>>9461735
>sneakweed: has gone from purple and brown to red and flustered
That- that's- extremely sexual.

>>9461697
No thank you, though I appreciate you think I look like Jonathan Joestar, you've done enough for me, I do not wish to be further in your debt.

>>9461753
>Durzo status: triggered
HEY! YOU DON'T HIT A WOMAN!
>He steps between Sara and Kamina
WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU!?

-Durzo

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>>9461735
yisss.

>>9461773
Yep!
Maybe you can join them once we get those berries~

>>9461697
Yay!

>>9461753
>squeals which break several windows and cause a few birds to fall out of the sky
H-HEY YOU CAN'T HIT A GIRL!

>>9461796
You tell him Jojo!

-Sara, imageless

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So after trimming Del's ear fluff again, I contract my manager to see if Pokemon fur clothing was feasible, as it turns out, it it's, so now I get to occupy myself for a day or two figuring out how to make gloves out of Delphox ear fluff. Yay, boredom alleviated for a while!

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>>9461773
We haven't had actual sex yet, heh.
Just lewd cuddling, eheheheheheh.

>>9461807
Heh, maybe.

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>>9461864
...Why are you like this.

>>9461921
Why must you encourage him?

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>>9461872
Nice. Let us know how they turn out, okay?

>Ollie: message your bosses, see who answers.
>"Most of the place we're renovating out on Melemele is move-in-ready. Is there anything else I can take care of out here?"

>>9461941
(fuck me, replied to the wrong person >>9461807)

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>>9461872
That's nice to hear! Can I get the address to your shop, for when they are finished?

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>>9461921
Maaaybe.

>>9461941
Because!
Wynaut.
>Fish: be entirely too pleased with yourself for that pun.

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>>9461955
I will, might not work though, fair warning.

>>9462014
My clothing is sold all over Kalos, dude.

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>>9461941
Because it's fun, heh.

>>9462049
Heh heh, nice.

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>>9461864
>Kamina sticks his tongue out at Sara
"Stop yammerin', I didn't even hit you! I kicked your ass, and it was barely a tap at that ya big baby!"
>>9461796
"WHAT, YOU THINK I SHOULDVE GIVEN HER A PURPLE NURPLE INSTEAD? NO WAY JOJO, LAST TIME I PURPLE NURPLE'D A CHICK I GOT CALLED A PERVERT AND SUSPENDED FOR A WEEK!"

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>>9462049
That.... I... you're not... Okay.
>pet fish

>>9462135
NOT FOR ME

>>9462143
YOU SHOULD HARM A LADY AT ALL!
>Durzo status: snapped
>Durzo's fist flies towards Kamina's face

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>>9462104
Fair enough. Still want to test first hand how warm they will be.

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>>9462135
Thank~

>>9462241
Yes.
>Happy revolver fishelot sounds

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>>9462143
YEAH WELL THERE'S NOT THAT MUCH OF IT TO HIT SO-

>>9462268
...Oooooooh shit, okay, that's uh... Someone should like call the cops or something.

>>9462268
(Shouldn't* rip me)

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>>9462241
Heh, I know you like it. You liked to watch us from the vent, heheheheh.

>>9462292
Nice.

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>>9462268
>The hit connects right with Kamina's jaw, splitting the skin. With a bit of scrambling he manages to not drop Leo, but the same cannot be said for Sara's bags.
"So you wanna play rough, huh?! Lucky for you I didn't drop Leo, otherwise we'd be having a very different conversation!"
>The aforementioned nerd is plopped on a nearby bag.
"This really should be a Pokémon battle, but if you insist"
>Kamina swings for Durzo's nose

>>9462426
>Durzo reels from the blow, taking a measured step back
I am sorry about your friend, but you clearly need to be taught some manners and it is becoming abundantly obvious that words do not get through that thick skull!
>He strikes for the other man's chest just as the door opens behind them
-Durzo

>>9462471
>>9462426
>>9462268
>Onlookers watching

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>>9462292
>seaweed sigh
At least you probably won't try to murder me in my sleep.

>>9462416
I WAS TRAPPED IN THE VENTS AND I WAS ONLY WATCHING YOU GOO EACHOTHER FOR RESEARCH REASONS

I want to see nirie and gask fucking
I don't know who will be top and who will be bottom

>>9462543
same

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>>9462516
Naaah.
I'll do it while you're awake!

I'm kidding! I don't hurt people I like.
Usually.
If I can avoid it.

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>>9462471
>He's quick enough the twist out of the way, the blow barely grazing
"Toxicroak! I'm trusting you with these!"
>The anime shades are tossed to Toxicroak, who manages to catch them without dropping them
"You don't even know the situation! We antagonize each other all the time! Do you know how many stilettos I've taken to the ass?!"
>An attempt to uppercut Durzo's jaw is made

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>>9462516
Research, heh.
How about I help you with your research, heheheh.

>>9462561
>Pet Remivolver
Heh, classic Remi.

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>>9462543
>>9462554
>Take Alcock's dex/pda/relevant Internet connected device again
Maybe soon, maybe never, who knows, heheh.

>>9462587
>Miss!
(Just NPC Durzo if needed, he'll apologize once they come to an understanding, I need sleep)

Hey there, /par/.
What do you do when you see something that you really shouldn't laugh at, but you really want to?
I think my supervisor is more than a little upset with me for laughing in front of a very unfortunate scumbag we dealt with a few days ago.

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>Day 5
>Rolling...

>>9462809
>fills gask's mind with the thought of nirie's goo dicc

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>>9462902
>Well, more like day 6, 5 days already passed
>Either way, three fifths traversed
>The air is slightly heavier still
>Yet, maybe help will not be needed

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>>9462950
>Gask doesn't know how the goo dicc looks likes
>But still gets ideas of goo gooing places it should not goo

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>>9462902
>Ray drops in for his daily visit.
"Chu're gonna be alright, bro..."
>It's about the only thing he says.

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>>9463135
>Panoptes is still in the room
>He speaks up
His self is slowly finding himself. My self fears what will happen if his self gets lost for too long, or too often.
His self inner universe is not completely untouchable, but the risks to the self can be too much.

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>>9463224
"What I'm hearing is that, like, trying to help's dangerous..."
"Dangerous for me, or for him?"
>Ray contemplates trying to pull some psychic shenanigans briefly.

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>>9463306
Dangerous for the selves that dwell in the inner universes.
Helping his self can be as rewarding as it can erase the self.

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>>9463458
"I think... I think I need time to think about this, bro."
"I'm not sure, like, what the right thing to do is."

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>>9463653
Understandable. The inner universe is a mysterious place, whose manipulation can directly affect creator and manipulator alike.

How do I join

>>9464449
(It's dead hours but just pick a pokemon or make up a human character)

>shitty rp
>shitty characters
Stay shit, PAR

>ERPfag

>>9465110
Thanks for the bump

>>9462886
Laugh, and apologize later, we really can't control what we laugh at, it's just a response people have.

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>>9462561
...That does not fill me with confidence.

>>9462642
I don't know what that means in this context but it sounds lewd. And offensive. And generally like something might get shoved somewhere uncouth.

>>9466378
>Suck cock

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>>9466401
Why.

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>>9466378
>Rapid verbal ticks indicate high quantity of lewd thoughts in the swamp monster
Heheheh, what makes you think that?

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>Vi goes out to Route 8, Kanto, and trains with her Pokemon