ITT: Pokemon are real. What would your life be like if thi

>>9106569
i wouls be ded

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>>9106569
...
I need another drink.

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>>9106567
Seb here, what is the situation?

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>>9106569
>Firecat: post online to distract self
I would be in Alola still

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>>9106569
>Chespin would probably be with a trainer that loved him, instead of having had a trainer who shot him with a flare gun

>>9106503
That, uhm... uh.

I don't think anything like that's ever happened to me. Ever.

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>>9106569
Haha.
>>9106559
Do you have to do them in a certain order? We only have the Pre Gym over here and it kinda sucks.

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>>9106629
>Firecat: groan through scarf and mumble something about Arceus being bored

>>9106567
>He snarls, glaring down at the Salazzle
"If that's what's commanded of me."
>Still locked into outrage
+4 252+ Atk Salamence Outrage vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Salazzle: 732-862 (511.8 - 602.7%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>9106569
...Not the best.

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>>9106569
I don't really know
I might be luckier with ladies
>>9106222
>>9106591
Thanks i'll drink one more at i won't have any surprise tomorrow in relation to waking in a woman's room completely naked
Well fuck it i'm going to pass out soon anyway
>kisses the hex maniac
I'm probably going to regret doing this tomorrow but oh well good night, lady
But if you don't mind i'm going to sleep right now
>after he finshes drinking he starts ti doze off on the counter

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>>9106673
>roost on

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>>9106569
I don't wanna think about it...
>>9106630
I don't know... we just have the island challenge here! When I lived in Kanto people kinda did it in whatever order!

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>>9106611
>Ollie: practically screaming.
This fucker's too strong for me! I'm bugging out!
He's in Hearthome, send everybody you've got!

>>9106670
>Contessa goes down, hard.
>Ollie recalls her and starts running.
Fuck, I'm out.
Warper!
I need an evac now!
>Ollie sends out Nihilego!
>He attempts to use the Ultra Beast to flee!

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>>9106673
>Roost on.

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>>9106687
...I don't.
What.

>grab the sentai
MORT GET HIS LEGS WE'RE NOT A BROTHEL

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>>9106707
Got it, Hearthome!
Meanwhile try to flee or take a page from the SPAT book.
>To all Catalyst members in Sinnoh
>Wanted trainer found in Hearthome
>Strong team, avoid direct battling

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>>9106695
..Hello, Clancy.

>>9106709
honey please.

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>>9106651
>Chespin: sigh and just start people-watching.

>...Chespin got hit with the flare gun, but it's probably Litten that needs the rehabilitation.
>Adoption just doesn't work well if you don't trust anyone ever.

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>>9106744
Aftanoon capo.

>>9106709
Afternoon grande capo.

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>>9106729
>apologizing in his sleep
>Is being carried somewhere

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>>9106744
How are ya?
>>9106761
Pretty good, you?

>>9106707
>Moxie activates
>Failed to run
>Salamance makes a disgusted face as he receives an order to delet
>Earthquake
"Goodbye."
+5 252+ Atk Salamence Earthquake vs. 0 HP / 4 Def Nihilego: 2232-2628 (1213 - 1428.2%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>9106701
Sounds easy enough. Thanks.
Are you from a movie or something? I swear I've seen you before.

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>>9106776
>plop in passenger seat
>lock glovebox
...Crissake I would've stayed at the cabal if i wanted to be a damn charity worker

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>>9106796
Aw man, that would be cool as heck! I wish I were as cool as Nate! I'm just Sun, champion of Alola!

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>>9106777
>777
>...Claus does not have scrappy.
>Fuckin ghosts I swear.
>Someone has to suffer for this.

>>9106761
>You'll do.
>Borb: Take the payday for your king.

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>>9106745
>Firecat can't help it, she had a worse Trainer and then a Psychic made it all even worse
>Firecat: take deep breaths through scarf

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>>9106783
>3
>3
>3
>You know what that means nigga.
>(Second time I've been saved from death by lucky odds.)
>Warper portals up.
You're gonna be running forever, fucko!
>Ollie takes the mother of all long shots, and throws his Big Orrean Knife at Deletman as he flings himself back through his emergency exit, Warper's stinging tentacles around his torso.

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>>9106777
Been doin' good. Got tha upgrades to the garden done. An' tha hot tub went up today. Gonna put in the gargoyle sometimes.

>>9106828
>squawk
FAK
CAPO
HE CAME BACK TO FINISH THE JOB
AVENGE ME
I DIED FOR THE FAMILY
>borb: actually be fine
>and shove coins under the featherdora

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>>9106816
Still pretty cool. Guess I'll be coming for you after I beat the Unova league.
Now I gotta pack, see ya, Sun.

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>>9106761
..It's the middle of the night.

>>9106777
Fairly good.

>>9106854
...
>Poke the overly dramatic borb with your bone

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>>9106811
>his wallet falls down
>but since he actually gave her his money it's empty but there is his adress in there

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>>9106854
Nice!!
>>9106865
>Put hands over bonehead eyes.
How good??

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>>9106865
Ow. Damnnit. That bone is thick as hell, you knows that?

>>9106906
Obv-iou-sly you's is free to use it. Your place afteralls.

>flop over
>remount the Bones

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>>9106846
>Deletman screams - the flying knife gives him a decent-sized gash in his left arm - nothing life-threatening, but it's going to leave a nasty scar.
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
I'LL KILL YOU AND TAKE THAT POKEMON!
>He says, in the middle of a goddamn city.
Fuck.
>Hop on Salamence, grip big cut.
Six outta ten, next time delete the trainer only. I want that fucking jelly.
Now Fly me the fuck out of here before his friends show up and start throwing fucking knives, too.

cum

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>>9106895
...If I didn't have a pumpkaboo to raise I'd steal your credit card.

>put wallet in his lap
>fug off back to your living room

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>>9106832
>Firecat: finally calm the fuck down
...I really am sorry about that, I didn't mean to dump that shit on someone I just met, just... had a stressful couple days and apparently my everything decided it was time to unload it all.
>Embarrassed firecat noises
Uh... just pretend that never happened.

>>9106832
Old lady: "You seem like you had it rough, sweetheart"

how about this

jirachi is playing one of the cipher grunts

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>>9106962
No! Just uh, run in with an ultra beast is all! Well, two now.
...So uh, how does adoption work?

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what even is a shitmon???

>>9106569
Depends

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>>9106945
>The hex maniac plops stuntbro on his couch
>He still sleeping somehow

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>>9106832
>>9106954
...It's fine. Really.
>Chestnut: give a supportive smile to the cat.

>>9106993
Yeah... the other one just put a hat on her head, though. ...I'd also like to know that, though.

>>9106991
(What you don't know is that, irl, we're all played by Jirachi)

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>Ollie lands outside a Pokecenter.
>He lands hard, and throws up in his scarf as he tries to drag himself up.
>He's fucking crying.
F-fuck... I nearly died. He almost fucking killed me...
>Grab burner phone, and crawl over to the Pokecenter wall.
>Take off the scarf.

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>>9106906
>Wak has been blinded
..Pretty good, much better now of course.
>Attempt blind husband pats

>>9106928
Well, yes. As it should be.
>Prod

>>9106993
Old lady: "You just had a bad dream sweetie"
"Adoption is simple, a nice trainer comes in and asks the pokemon here if they want to join his or her journey"

>>9106569
I wouldn't be in my 20s living with my parents barely scraping by and i'd have the job my friend does making 90k/year.

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>>9107018
Maybe... a pokemon... that... he finds... weak...
Am i... a shitmon...?

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>>9107053
>be prodded
>flap and land on bonehead head
Dat's lewd regina.

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>>9107028
(damn you're right, this entire time I, Jirachi, have just been flirting with myself, also known as Gladi. Good thing you pointed that out before I lit fucked myself.)
>>9107023
>The couch that Gadreel and Darkrai were on
>Gadreel picks up Darkrai and heads on home

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>>9106860
Have fun! Tell Black and Nate I said hi!

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>>9107059
That sounds nice. Really nice.
>Chespin: relax and get comfy. This is exactly where you wanted to be.

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>>9106991
(Wrong, fuckhead)

>>9107028
(I am Jirachi)
(No I AM Jirachi)


>>9107035
>Beep beep message for you
>"Did you manage to escape?"
>"I need a detailed assessment of what you faced"

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>>9107104
i dont think so??? you havent trained much!!!

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>>9107239
Yeah... i'll... train and... be strong...
Be more confident...
>he quietly starts training

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>Ollie: wipe puke off of face with ruined scarf.
>>9107230
Fuck...
I only saw one Pokemon, a fucking Salamence. High-level, uses Outrage, Dragon Dance and Earthquake.
One-shot my entire team, and tried to kill my when I ran, sir...
Fuck. This guy's too hard and too psycho to take head-on.

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>>9107059
Yup, just a bad dream!
>Firecat: try to pretend nothing bad happened to her ever.
>>9107206
Yeah, it does, just chat with trainers and like... pick one to join I guess, I'm sure I'll find someone eventually...
>Firecat: look a little worried while trying to be comfy

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>>9107276
see youre doing good!!
>creech helps Z train

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>>9107352
All right, sounds like a plan.

>And now, they wait for trainers to walk over to the two.

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>>9107369
Thanks for... the help...
I'll... Become strong... to protect... you..
>roll for level up

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>>9107325
Holy hell, this psycho needs to be godsdamned stopped now!
I'm wiring you a few thousand P to get your team back up, I'm going to need to make a few calls to the higher ups.
>Message to all Catalyst members in Sinnoh
>Update on the pokemon "deleter" follows
>"The trainer does not hesitate to attempt to murder defenseless trainers"
>"Maximum caution and not engaging in battle is advised"
>"Continue guarding all ports and other ways out of Sinnoh, collaborate with the local police on the detainment of this murderer"
>Message to N,Dave,John
>Update on the pokemon "deleter"
>"High end team required to stop"
>"Preferably avoid battling at all, but need a fall back plan"

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>>9107463
of course you will!!
>he hugs Z
hey hey if youre tired come on we can get some sleep??

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>>9107520
You're... right...
Late... time to... sleep
>hugs creech
Night... creech...

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>>9107517
what
you mean the fucker that got banned
alright i can fucking
kick his ass if you corner him

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>>9107517
>"I see. Perhaps some of my friends would be willing to join my team temporarily to stop him. What Pokémon does he have with him?"

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>>9107517
Got it, sir.
Fuck... Alright, cards on the table.
I chucked a knife at him while I was running, no clue if he got hit or not.
I was thinking about one last criminal job, breaking into a private vault my old bosses have, but after this I just wanna live long enough to talk to my ex-girlfriend and my kid.

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>>9107435
>Firecat: keep waiting
(Fair warning, might fall asleep in the chair again)

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>Johnny rides into Gateon counting his money.
Let's see... Ferry tickets usually run a few thousand... Need some left over for food and a hotel...
>Rolling for if he has enough cash.

>>9107352
>>9107206
>Stereotypical little girl and mom come in
>Little girl begins inspecting every single pokemon
LG: "Graveler? Not cute"
"Muk? Ewww eww ewww!"
"Spinda.... close but..."
>The Little Girl gives Tiffany a glance, and immediately homes in running
LG: "YOU ARE SO CUUUUUUUUUTE"
>LG: attempt pinching Tiffany's cheeks

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>>9107617
We've confirmed a Greninja and a Gengar from his video, and a Salamence via a field operative. Said operative almost learned the hard way this guy's moving up to killing Trainers.
I recommend overwhelming and unsportsmanlike force.

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>>9107655
>Chespin raises an eyebrow, and looks to Tiffany... expecting the poor cat to flip out.

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>>9107627
I can see about getting you relocated relocated to a more peaceful division. Something that can work with your family issues.

>>9107595
>>9107617
That same. Looks like he snapped, last seen in Hearthome with a Salamence, Dragon Dance/Outrage/Earthquake and it was enough to wipe out the agent I sent his way.

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>>9107655
>Firecat: SUFFER AND ACCIDENTALLY COUGH FIREBALL

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>>9107748
Thanks. I've almost got several years worth of back child support paid off with interest. I'm gonna call, they should have gotten the check by now.
>Ring ring ring.

>>9107721
>LG: Notice the chespin
LG: "You will look so CUTE in a dres..."
>>9107749
>The pinching hurt, really
>Receive fireball to the side of the face
>Odds and hair on fire
LG: AAAAAAHH BAD KITTY
>Little girl's mother: screech

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>>9107813
...But I'm a guy-

>>9107749
>Chespin instinctively winces at fire
...Well, uh... I guess I'm not going to end up crossdressing, right...?

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>>9107748
I see. I know exactly which friend is necessary for this. I may also need to call Colress at some point.

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>>9107813
>Firecat: wince
Uhhh WE NEED WATER IN HERE

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>>9107645
Man I should have saved up more.
>Johnny heads off to the store.
>Rolling for if he can sell some of his food off for extra cash.

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>>9107748
oh man
danceamance
fun
aight ill bust out the fuckin weakness policy aegislash for this shit

>>9107806
>Someone picks up.
"H-hello? Who is this?"

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>>9107856
I'll give you 2400P for that sandwich. Don't question it, just accept.

>>9107848
>>9107854
>Little Girl: run the fuck to the bathroom, screaming
LG's mother, to the Old lady: "I'm SUING YOU. SUING YOU FOR NOT HAVING THEM IN CAGES"
Old lady: "Your daughter immediately started harassing the pokemon under my care and if you think this is the first time I have been threatened with a lawsuit, you are wrong"

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>>9107874
Maria... it's Ollie. I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, it was fucked up of me, but I'm out of that life now.
I get it if you wanna hang up. I wouldn't blame you. But I'm trying to make things right.
You get that check I sent you, by the way?

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>>9107882
Hey, thanks lady.
>Hand the sandwich over.
Much appreciated.
>Really hope no one minds your horse being in the shop.
>Get the hell out a bit richer.

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>>9107902
>>9107854
>Chespin: turn to lit cat, and give a shrug
...Well... attempt number one went, ah... swimmingly. On to possible trainer number two?

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>>9107945
Yeah... uh, jeez I didn't mean that it just came out.

>>9107923
>The voice on the other end wavers.
"O-Ollie, y-you... you didn't know once we separated, did you?"
"Yes, I got the check. Anna and I are on vacation. I don't want to know where you got the money. I... this is all so shocking."

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>>9107965
I couldn't get out for a while, the gang I fell in with had me by, well, I won't say it since mi niña might hear. I'm out, I got a legit job, and i just wanna see you two sometime.
I'm not even talking moving in right now, I just wanna visit. If that's all you're up for, i get it.
Please, Maria. I want to see you again, and my niña.

>>9107902
That's one based old lady

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>>9107963
It should be fine. She came on a little too strongly, and... well, uh... we both saw how you reacted when I tried to touch you, so...

B-besides, we probably weren't going to like her anyways. She was going to put me in a dress. Me. I'm a guy. Come on.

>>9108021
>She is.

>>9108018
>The voice at the other end cracks a bit.
"O-Ollie... Alright. We're in Kalos right now. I'm not letting you just move in like nothing happened after this long, but we can meet."
"Anna deserves to meet her dad."

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>>9108035
>Firecat: don't think about Chespin in a dress or how funny/cute that would be
>Firecat: fail
...I dunno, maybe she would have grown on us is she hadn't been so uh... overexcited.

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>>9108052
>Meanwhile...
>Tug, tug.
Oh my gosh, there's a Pokemon adoption thing over there! Mommy, can we take a look, pleeeease?

>>9107945
>Little Girl and her Mother leave out in a hurry
>LG with some badly singed hair
>Minutes pass
>...
>...
>A preteen boy comes in
>His parents are a no show
>He looks at the Chespin
"PB: YO, you look like you will make a real STRONG fighter!"

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>>9108052
I can be there.
My team needs some recovery time, but I can be there soon.
Take care.

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>>9107930
>sweep up horse related mess
Be a shop keeper they said.
It's too dangerous for a young lady to be travelling alone they said.
You'll be sooooo much happier working in retail.

Pricks.

>>9108094
"See you soon, Olivar."
>Click.
>>9108074
Hm?
Well, you did just get your Trainer's license, and it works across regions...
Alright. no promises, but we'll take a look.

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>>9108070
...Okay, probably...

>>9108082
>Chespin: straighten up, a smile on his face, then get up and flex a bit. Because ham.
You know it! Me and my, ah... ALLY here can and will blow the opposition out of the water, baby!
>Chespin gives a wink to the Litten. Roll with it.

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>>9108121
>Ollie heads into the Pokemon Center.
>He explains the whole story, knowing dam well the cops are going to interrogate him over a skirmish with a known killer.
>Still, despite everything, he feels relieved. He's gonna get to see his daughter.

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>>9108155
>Firecat: facepaw at hamminess
No, just no, that was silly.

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>>9108155
>Protip
>Do not try to strike poses while RECOVERING FROM BURN WOUNDS ACROSS ARMS AND BACK
>A wrong flex locks the chespin up in pain

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>Cam the only slightly manacle maniac: pick up stakes and roll on out
>Where to next? No clue.
>fug it, themesong time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vVU7MyK9fQ

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>>9108216
...Dude you uh, you okay?
I think we need another burn heal!

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>Johnny Not-Joestar: Buy that ticket you need.
>Wait for the boat people to get their shit together.

>>9108155
>>9108216
PB: "Ha ha ha, good show, good show"
>Then turns to the Litten
PB: "And what is the deal with you? Cats are for girls"

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>>9108272
>Chespin: state the following through gritted teeth
Yeah, I'd really like that, thanks

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>>9108300
>That pic
(Heck have this one.)

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>>9108295
Dude the Pokemon you were just looking at has collapsed on the ground and your frst thought is to turn to his buddy and tell her she's for girls.
Wow.
>Firecat: run off looking for burn heals

>>9108294
Why the Unova league anyway, dude? Dave's just going to kick your ass.

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>>9108327
>Something something fuck bees
>Thanks, man

>>9108295
>Chespin blinks.
>He then narrows his eyes, and plows through the pain to give this son of a bitch a piece of his mind.
>Preferably, before Tiffany's out of earshot.
...Cats are for girls...?! That cat saved my life. She's my friend. ...And like it or not, we're a package deal. I'm not coming with you, unless she's coming with me.

>>9108361
>Preteen boy has no translator
PB: and there goes the scaredy cat!

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>>9108372
Oi've been gettin' inta watchin' League politics.
Dave spends a fair time in Unova, but 'e ain't the Champ there, m'friend.

>>9108294
Thanks for tracking a horse in my shop bro. Really appreciate that.

>mumbling as she turns back to the store
Dropped out of ranger school for this...

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>>9108428
(drink)

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>>9108372
i mean
yeah
maybe a few months from now
gotta do hoenn and sinnoh first man
>>9108294
>Dave: be chilling on the boat out of orre, Metagross carrying the napping Nec

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>>9108422
>Okay
>Now Chespin's angry.
>Chespin: use Vine Whip on the air right in front of the kid, to get his attention. And make sure it's clear that he's angry.
>Whip_crack_sound_effect.wav

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>>9108372
Who's Dave?
>>9108427
Who the hell is Dave?
>>9108428
>>9108439
Sorry! I'll pay you back when I win it big!
>>9108457
>Eye the fancily dressed dude.
Hey. Are you some kind of businessman?

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>>9108478
>turn around
League champ. White hair, glasses. Edgy looking bastard. You'll know him when you see him. You're gonna get crushed by the way. Unless you have six mewtwos on hand.

>>9108419
PB: "Look at these burns, you have been in fights already!"

>>9108465
PB: "Wow, feisty aren't you?"

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>>9108546
>Gahd dammit
>Where is the old lady when you need her
>Chespin stares at the kid with anger in his eyes, before getting to his feet and walking over to where the fire cat went.
>This kid is not worth his time.

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>>9108599
>Or, you know
>Body could decide to not cooperate.
>He doesn't even have the strength to get up.
>Distressed Chespin sounds.

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>>9108478
uhhh
i guess
kinda
i do srs business shit sometimes
why
you looking to buy my brothers' sex tapes or something
its not that good trust me

I AM GAY

>>9108622
>An excited little girl steps in the door.
>She's looking around, nearly dragging her mom around.
Mommy, mommy, oh my gosh! They're all so cool! I hope I find a nice Pokemon here!

>>9108653
Only two are not gay
So that's to be expected

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>>9108534
Really? Alright, thanks!
>>9108647
>He leans over his Mudsdale a bit.
Doubt I could afford them anyway. Do you know a Dave guy? White hair and glasses?

>>9108666
>666
>She finds an Eevee and immediately falls in love.
>Welp.
>

>>9108599
>>9108622
Preteen Boy, to the Old Lady: "Miss, there's something wrong with this pokemon"
Old Lady, to the Boy: "I'll be sincere, he does not like you"
PB: "But why?! I want to get him out of here and in a real fighting team!"
OL: "You did something he did not like, to him or maybe his friend over there"
>Points to the Litten
PB: "But.."
Preteen Boy, to Chespin: "Ditch him and come get stronger with me!"

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>>9108653
(Same anon, same. Yell it for all the world to hear)
>>9108689
>One eyebrow visibly arches over his shades
nah dude
only dave i know is a blonde with shades
need help looking or something
i got time to kill

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>>9108710
>Chespin: Be the tougher nut to crack
No. We're a package deal, and that's final. You take us both, or you can't take me.

...Uh, miss? I uh, kinda need some help here. ...I've fallen, and I can't get up...

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>>9108754
I guess? Got any clue where he-
>It hits him.
...Are you Dave?

>>9108778
>Of course, the boy understood nothing of this
Old Lady: "It seems you can only adopt both the Chespin and Litter, or neither"
Preteen Boy: "But mom said... but mom said I can only take one!"
Old Lady: "I'm sorry then, this Chespin is not for you"
PB: "But...!"
>Odds and he tries to make a run with Chespin

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>>9108851
>Chespin immediately applies Vine Whip to the boy's face once he realizes what he's doing

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>>9108812
yeah
daves my name
best said in bed
wear it out all you want idc
watcha need dude

>>9108851
>The Preteen Boy takes off with Chespin in the arms
>Old Lady runs after

>>9108875
>Preteen Boy receives a Vine Whip point blank in the face
PB: "OWWW YOU DUMB..."
>Old Lady catches up, takes Chespin back
OL: "And that's ENOUGH! Where are your parents?"
PB: "Uh..."
>The Boy takes off again, empty handed
Old Lady, to Chespin: "Calm down sweetheart, he will not come back, you can stay with your friend as much as you need until a trainer you like comes by"

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>>9108888
Well that was surprisingly easy to find you. You're strong, right? Mind if I tag along?

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>>9108933
All right. ...Thank you.
>Chespin smiles up to the old lady, before presumeably being returned to the beanbag he'd been flopped on before the boy showed up.
>The litten's RPer seems to have fallen asleep in his chair, so I'm going to fiat her finding a burn heal and applying it to Chespin. Unless he returns and says different.

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>>9108934
go ahead
idgaf as long as like
you arent gonna non lewd stab me in my sleep
hope you dont mind crystal robots
nec is kinda my uh
traveling buddy
>Dave gestures vaguely in the direction of Necrozma
gotta head to sinnoh first so
hope you dont got time sensitive plans or whatever

>>9108961
[muffled SEIG HEIL in the distance]

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>>9108979
You'd rather I screw you in your sleep than stab you?
>He looks at the giant crystal robot.
Yep. That's not something you see in Agate. Sure, I'll tag along with you to Sinnoh. Why not?

Hey, bros.
I've got a little problem.
I've got some... interests, but they're kinda socially not-cool. Nothing, like, illegal, but not cool with most people so it's best kept on the down-low.
How would a guy get together with like-minded dudes?
If anybody could help a bro out, like, I'd appreciate it.

>>9109221
Do you want to murder pokemon or fuck them?

>>9109221
What? You've got me curious here, guy. I'd say put some offers up in Sinnoh. They're pretty forgiving over there.
What kinda weird stuff?

>>9109236
Bro, blunt much?
Murder is not my thing, dude. Like, at all.
But, like, there's boners involved, yeah.
>>9109241
Uh, Pokephilia. I'm not in, like, Kanto or someplace, and I'm not League, so that's something.

>>9109258
Casual pokephilla is nothing to be ashamed of Anon. Nothing better than laying down with your blastortoise after a long day.

>>9109258
Pokephilia, yeah. Hell, out in Orre everyone screws their pokemon.
You could probably rent out an old building in Gateon and make some fancy pokemon sex club.

>>9109274
Thing is, like, I'm not exactly... the usual poster about this.
I'm, like, on the other end of the equation, and looking for somebody other than, like, my official Trainer.
>>9109282
Like, none of the Orreans I know are into that, Anon.

>>9109308
You're a pokemon? What kind, bro?

>>9109319
If I spilled, 'chu could probably figure out who I am, bro.
I'm pretty charged up, though, and not that tall.

>>9109354
>'chu.
Somethin' in the pikachu family? Hell, I say look on some dating websites? Or some of the people here might want to hook up with 'chu, bro.

>>9109397
Fuck, my speech tic gave it away.
But yeah. My trainer's not into that and I'm not into him, and I'm cruisin'. It might be a little, like, embarrassing for him if this got out, though.

>>9109423
How embarrassing are we talking?
You mentioned not being Kantonese or League-affiliated, but I'm assuming his employers and/or peers look down on such behavior?

>>9109462
Employers, not that bad. Peers, like... he works a bit with the public, so that's a thing.
Unova's open-minded, but it might raise some eyebrows.

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>Stand atop adoption building.
>Stare off into the horizon.
>Begin to peer outwards and into the future.
>Attempt to search for something important.

>[Single evens are successful in finding something slightly important.]
>[Single odds are a failure without psionic backlash.]
>[Repeating digits show events of drastic importance, and events are positive/negative depending on even/odd.]

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>>9106569
Sylvie.

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>>9109042
uhh yeah?
one of those things kills the dave
or at least probs kills the dave
the other aint my kink buts still kinda hot
easy choice dude
anyway
gotta fucking
deal with an abusive trainer murderer general fuckstick guy

>>9109752
You really shouldn't say these sorts of details online, Ray, there are people who track everything about people like you, and I'm not talking about streambro right now.
Good luck in your love life pancake zapmouse.

>>9112258
(Go to sleep skitts)

>>9112336
(Anon, I just woke up)

>>9112379
(Good morning Skitts)

>>9112379
(good night skitts)

>>9112379
(Go back to sleep)

>>9112413
(Good morning anon)
>>9112452
(I would, but my parents are yelling at me for something)
(I really can't tell what, focusing is hard right now.)

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>>9108961
>Firecat: return and apply burn heal
Shelves are hard to reach.
>Firecat: pretend to have not heard what Chespin said about being a package deal.

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>>9112273
But mostly just me. In a definitely professional and collected manner.
>Mental note: today is the day

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>>9112625
>Firecat: flop
...I think I'm ready for another one. Hopefully there will be a gem in the garbage of stupid people.

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>>9112273
>>9112894
Well, fuck.
Caught my by buddy and some rando who ID'ed me, cruising for tail.
I think I wanna, like, curl up in a corner for a while now.

>>9113299
Nothing to be ashamed of dude. You looking for another Pokemon, or a human?

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>>9113299
Well you're kind of an unique person.
Very.

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>>9113299
It happens to the best of us, Ray.
>N: flashbacks to the time where you accidentally the Gladion lewds

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>>9113397
>>9113439
Kinda easy to recognize, huh? Not many other, like, Raichus in Unova surfing this board.
Like, don't tell John by the way. He doesn't need to know about my love life.
>>9113374
Uhh... either, bro. And I kinda, like... swing both ways.

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>>9113207
Yeah... thank you.
>Chespin gives a weak smile as he gets back into his comfy position on the beanbag.

...How long is this supposed to take to heal...? I mean... I know, I'm a Grass-type, and it wasn't a Pokemon move, but...

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>>9113439
Yeah.
Remember how a while ago I refused to speak much of my own issues on the grounds of trying to avoid workplace awkwardness?

>>9113499
The secret dies with me.

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>>9113499
Well, he won't hear about it from me. If he finds out it's likely the anons who are to blame.
>>9113701
Hmm, yes, I do. We all have our awkward secrets.

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>>9113626
Probably not too much longer.
>Firecat: offer free shrug
Anyways, uh, any others yet?...

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>>9113822
>Chespin looks up, murring. At the moment, people seemed to be mostly preoccupied with other Pokemon... perhaps the one meant for them would come in soon... perhaps the one meant for them would never come.
Doesn't look like it yet...

>>9113822
>>9113895
>A girl walks in slowly, eyes full of wonder.
>Unlike the kids fawning over a Furfrou or the few adults looking, she wasn't leaping about wildly.
>A tired-looking lady with a cup of coffee follows close, urging her to be careful.
"Moooom, I promise I won't do what Jonie did and pull tails or anything! I know better than that!"

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>>9113927
>Chespin looks up at the sound of the girl's voice, blinking softly, before smiling and waving over to her.
>Already, what Chespin had on the table wasn't the best deal the kid could have- not only would she get two Pokemon at once, but one of them would still be recovering from some sort of injury and the other would still be paranoid as fug
>Chespin, of course, hoped parent and child would look past both of those problems... she seemed like a good kid, after all.

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>>9113753
Hey N, there was some guy a couple days ago that does work for the league (i think) that was offering his services to help fix the castle up. I was going to tell Frankie about it but I haven't seen him lately.

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>>9113985
>The little girl sets a small box down with a quiet clatter, and looks at Chespin.
Awww, are you okay?
>She gently holds out a hand, with her mom looking on warily.
I'm Anna. How are you?

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>>9114073
>Firecat: blink
Huh, this one is already a step up...

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>>9114073
>Chespin nods softly, giving a "Yeah, I'm fine," before reaching out with a paw to shake Anna's hand. He then looks over to the firecat.
I'll say. Looks like she might be a keeper to me.

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>>9114099
>She looks over at the Litten.
Hiii! You're pretty neat!
>Again, reaching out carefully.
I'm Anna. I just got my Trainer's License, and I'd be really happy if you came with me.

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>>9114168
>Chespin smiles wide at this, looking over to the catte of fire.
>...She meant both of them, right?

>>9114168
>The girl's mom looks over.
"Be careful, Anna."
>She goes to talk with the old lady running the adoption drive about the two Pokemon her daughter's looking at.

>ONLY ANNA CAN GET OUR MONS
there goes my snotty rich kid that slowly learns to not be an asshole
lol

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>>9114168
Me?
>Firecat: be kinda surprised

>>9114341
Should've been quicker on the draw, man
That or actually been there when we were thinking up all this shit

>>9114341
(Could always split the party)

>>9114373
(I know.)
>>9114414
(Also that's not happening because of "muh scarves" so lol it isn't even worth my time anymore.)

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>there is a lonely mudkip sleeping in one
>he seems to be one of the few left that wasn't adopted

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>>9114341 >>9114432
( You could have, you know, actually mentioned this OOC or in Discord before now. this has been in the works for days.)
>>9114370
>Anna nods eagerly. She can't really understand clearly but she can tell there's surprise there.
Mmm-hmm! I promise we can train and we can all show off and I'll be the best Trainer ever!
>>9114317
>She looks over at the Chespin, and seems conflicted.
Oh... Um... Are you two together?

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>>9112258
Murderer? Abuser?
People like that deserve to die. Why not? At the least I can try and help.

Hey, /par/.
Anybody got a primer on roughing it?
I'm completely unfamiliar with the backwoods here, and while I got myself a tent and a backpack the fucking cold is really setting my teeth on edge.

>>9114432
(You've got a shot now, looks like we all agree it's interesting and splitting the scarfs will probably happen!)

>>9114559
>>>/out/

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>>9114559
Hmmm... Most Pokemon are willing to share warmth with their trainer companions. Do you have any Pokemon suitable for such a thing?

>>9114593
>>9114432
>>9114373
(Okay fine, you're getting in. ...Assuming of course, you're actually serious about this and not shitstirring.)

>>9114593
(Actually, just to make sure Anon is serious, bring in the rich kid, because everyone in the discord thinks having Firecat leave the nut behind would be interesting and a good character moment, but we also need a Trainer for the nut if that happens, soooo...)

>>9114606
Uhhh, okay?
>>9114630
Uh, kinda. I got a Dragon-type, but I didn't give him a Fire move. I got a bulky Fighting-type, too, but he flinches when anyone touches him.

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>>9114473
>Another kid comes in.
>About sixteen, a heavy Unovan accent, followed by a burly man in a suit.
Are these two still available?

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>>9114473
>Chespin nods brightly, smiling wide, but...

>>9114749
>...blinks in confusion at the second arrival, looking from rich kid to Anna.
>Uhm.

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>>9114749
Umm... I was looking at them, but yeah...
>Anna's cowed by the much older boy.

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>>9114481
aight
apparently were looking for a fucking
douche with a salamence
pretty strong thing apparently
think you can handle a danceamance

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(Sorry about being a bit of an ass. Thanks guys.)
>>9114785
Bonjour. Will you be willing to come with me?
>>9114792
Well, I think they have an old way of deciding who takes a pokemon.
A battle?
>He looks over at the Chespin.

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>>9114827
>Anna screws up her face.
But he's still hurt and I don't have any Pokemon yet!
>She pouts.
Fine, just please don't take both of them...

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>>9114822
My team is level 40. I'm going to say I can't.
...You think I can grab some levels before we run into him?

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>>9114748
Dragon types are warm by nature. Their stomach is the warmest area of their body, however, I would make certain to run it by him first, as their stomachs are also their most vulnerable area.

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>>9114827
>The chespin looks from the kid to the little girl, then shakes his head, scooting closer to the cat... wincing a bit at the idea of a battle, so soon.
>He's still recovering from the flare gun shot... and he's still loyal to the firecat, with the same "package deal" mentality that caused him to shoot down the first trainer that wanted him...

>>9114869
>The little girl's words send a visible spike of panic into the nut's heart, as he looks from her to the rich kid...

>>9114903
Stomach warm, got it.
Logging off.
>He sets his 'dex aside and forgets it for a bit.
>The shitbag Trainer calls out his Salamence.
Alright, I'm freezing here, I need to warm up before I get the flu or something. Roll over, buddy.

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>>9114907
>Firecat: scoot closer to the kid and pull out a few pokebeans
>Firecat: offer five normal and three pattern beans to nut
Go, it'll be better for both of us.

>>9114827
>>9114869
Old Lady: "Play nice and don't get too rough, sweeties"

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>>9114869
Oh, well that's a shame.
>>9114907
>>9115047
So? I take it the Litten is going with the girl?
>>9115055
Yes, yes.

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>>9114871
uh sure dude
not sure where youd wanna do that though
not exactly familiar with the grinding spots in sinnoh

(I'm all for people snagging other pokemon but for an antag it's just going to turn into...)
>Oh man I'm almost defeated!
>Here come my PC pokemon, now everyone's dead!

>>9115123
PCs aren't any stronger than NPCs

>>9115123
(Who are you talking about? Delet or the rich kid?)

>>9115155
(Except... With Skitters being able to get dubs all the time...)
>>9115161
(Delet.)

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>>9115047
>The nut looks from the beans to the cat, having a bit of a hard time processing what had just happened... giving a slow, disbelieving blink.
I... b-but...
>He visibly deflated in defeat, before accepting the beans... putting them in his own blue-and-green neckerchief in a way very similar to the cat's scarf.
>He then got up, and walked over to the rich kid... looking for all the world like someone had taken a nutcracker to his heart.

>Mainly because the cat just did.

>>9115177
that's barely a reason

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>>9115123
(The PC Pokemon aren't more powerful than they would have been otherwise? Like... They aren't suddenly better because they're being played by someone other than Ray. Sun's Volcarona wasn't more powerful because it was being played by Gladi instead of NPC'd by me.)
>>9115030
>Salamence glares and growls at deletman, baring his teeth.
>>9115177
(I didn't get a single dubs when I was playing him last night...?)

>>9115177
(Why are you taking Discord topics then making an absolutely retarded argument against)
(Please stop)

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>somewhere in the world a dustox starts flying towards the sun
pretty....

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>>9115180
>Firecat: wince
Maybe we'll see each other again one day, but... yeah, I kinda figured this would happen.
For what it's worth, I like you, you seem nice.
>Firecat: stress eat a normal pokebean

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>>9115086
Guess we'll both see.
...So... Where are you from?

>>9115197
Really? Are you kidding me? I don't like this either.
>He gets really, really touchy.
Ahh... Okay. I'm not gonna freeeze to death now. Great.
>>9115177
( PCs don't get higher stats than NPCs by default. Deletman's team is still Lv60 across the board regardless of whether other players are in on portraying their misfortune onscreen or not. )

(I think that anon means PC pokemon can disobey/do other shit and make work harder for other characters?)
(Since you aren't rolling by multiple digits you can have a bunch of PC pokemon on screen?)

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>>9115229
>Anna picks up that something's going on.
I'm sorry, miss kitty...
I wish I could take you both home, but I can't.
>>9115079
>She looks up at the rich boy.
Take care of him, okay? Please?

>>9115286
(Anon was explicitly claiming it was a power boost though. Also, disobeying is totally in-character for Deletman's pokes if pushed.)

>>9115286
(In that case it would be a problem of staying in character, and personally I trust the players here to stay in character)
(And there are ways to roll multiple digits per post)

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>>9115180
Welcome to the team then.
>>9115323
Of course. Only the best for my pokemon.

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>77: hope today is going to be a good day.
>Also be on the lookout for lewdbats.

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>>9115286
(I'm not certain how that would make a PC Pokemon a trump card? He was acting like they're deadlier just because they have a player, and I can confirm that's not true. Deletman's team is probably going to be weaker played by other people than when it was GM'd by me because Deletman's team is my personal comp team and hence follows my strat. If you don't know the strat it's not going to work as well for you.)
>>9115264
>His growling gets louder, and Salamence shifts away from deletman

>>9115323
>>9115333
(I shouldn't be defending a shitter but I see what he means.)
(he's more afraid of the threat of having multiple PC pokes to deal with than he is the rolls.)
(Like if I had a team comprised of 6 PC pokemon and tossed them all out. All of them could get dubs, trips, etc.)
(With a single PC trainer and NPC pokemon you can really only get a single get or evens and odds.)

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>>9115229
>The nut just sighs softly, nodding... before coming to what is probably the painful conclusion to this.
>...He would never get to know the name of the Pokemon who'd saved his life.

>>9115323
>>9115352
>Chespin sighs softly, before looking up and giving a weak smile to what would become his new trainer
...So, uh... what's your name...?

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>>9115415
>Deletman fiddles with his Pokedex.
Here, take this and shaddup.
>He walks over and holds the 'dex haphazardly to the Salamence, Internet browser open to the splash page for a shady Hoennian Daycare.
>Then he tries to get close again, selfishly trying to relieve the chill in his fingers.
Keep yourself occupied with that, I guess. Whatever.

>>9115418
(I guess? That seems more fair than the trainer having to roll multiple times tho.)

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>>9115445
>Firecat: smile slightly
Have a good life, dude. Enjoy those beans.
>Firecat: look up at smol girl
So... I take it you don't have a Dex.

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>>9115418
(That's...? The rules of battle don't change just because the Pokemon are PCs. He doesn't suddenly get to toss out his entire team instead of the two max just because they're PCs. If that were the case there would be nothing preventing me from having... Sun toss out his entire team on NPC mode, as long as I'm willing to deal with having to do six different rolls in a post.)
>>9115478
>He presumes that deletman is threatening to send him there if he keeps it up and shuts up
>However, he remains tense, teeth bared silently and tail lashing, coming close to hitting deletman in the face several times

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>33: Get a bit of training in.

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>>9115520
>Anna doesn't appear to have a Pokedex with her right now.
>She's given a Pokeball, and holds it out to the Litten.
Momma, can you give me my Pokedex now? I know you said I was gonna drop it if I tried to juggle it and my crayons but I'm putting my crayons away!

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>>9115261
aloha
aether paradise
you know
the fake island no one knows about

>>9115535
triple battles exist

>>9115568
>triple battles
>past gen 5
lol

>>9115581
they were in XY too

(I just realized I'm not going to have enough time to do Rich Kid Sawyer in this RP so either someone else can take him over or I'll just fuck off.)

>>9115616
(I'd offer to either take over Sawyer or have Spark take the Chestnut off of his hands, but I don't have the concentration to only focus on one character at a time, and when roleplaying with Chuckles or Emrys you can only really focus on that one character for the time being.)
(I'll try and find someone else willing to do it)

>>9115616
(In case you need to know one of my family members is literally dying and we need to go empty shit out of their house.)

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>>9115725
(Can you guys please fucking stop with this shit? Sometimes shit comes up, there's no reason to fucking make someone feel even shittier about it, my fucking god. )

>>9115741
Why do you think I deleted the post

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>>9115616
( GM Ray here, you could have him change his mind as to which Pokemon he wants and exit stage right. That work for everybody? )
>>9115698
( Holy hell, man. You have my condolences. )

>>9115725
>>9115741
>>9115758
>>9115759
(I'm just going to leave. Sorry. Do whatever you want.)

>>9115698
(Check the bed)

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>>9115775
(Well.... You're always welcome back once shit gets sorted. Hope things work out for you, dude.)
(Have this cute N before you go.)

>>9115814
>Not N giving a hicky too gladi
(Make it happen)

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>>9115561
...Sure.
Like Citadark Isle?
>The boat finally pulls in to Canalave City.

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>>9115830
(Do you know how much GladioN art there is on the internet? It's hard to even find them in the same image, much less doing anything gay. I think this is the only stuff I've ever found.)
(I mean, I guess I could go make my own gay GladioN art, but humans aren't really my area of expertise)

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>>9115698
(A bit late but damn, I'm sorry. My condolences)

>>9115698
(Sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you, and may they rest peacefully.)

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>>9115853
the fuck is citadark isle
uhhh aether paradise is
fucking
you know how alola has four islands
well
mom made a fifth one
>Hop off the boat and wait for Metagross to brign Nec
hm
yknow
kinda considering asking nec if he like
wants a ball
just for when hes in sleep mode
>>9115898
(I don't get what you're saying...? Do you mean like.... OOC fug Gladi despite there being no GladioN art...? Or IC have N fuck Gladion despite there being no GladioN art...?)

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>>9115616
( GM Ray here, we got a solution that fits IC - Rich Boy's looking for a regulation Starter, but Chespin's HA makes him non-regulation.)
>He pulls out his phone.
Hello. Yes, it's Sawyer.
. . .
Yes, a regulation Starter. A Chespin, actually. Yes, Father, I'm aware.
. . .
Yes. I see.
>Dex: out
>>9115445
>Nut: scanned.
>Sawyer's face falls.
Oh... oh, dear. That's. . . Father will be less than pleased.
>He straightens up, with the face of a boy recovering from being gut-checked by a Machop.
I'm sorry. I, er, my parents are being exacting and overbearing. I cannot take you with me.
>He bows his head, and leaves.

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>>9115973
She made a fifth one? Weird.
>Stare at the crystal gem.
You probably should. You sure someone isn't going to kill you for that thing?

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(For Faba's Rper)

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>>9116001
>Chespin blinks, watching the boy leave... before slowly looking over to the cat and the little girl. He'd already accepted his fate, at this point. What was happening now...?

>...Would they really? ...Even after...?

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>>9116083
pfft
wouldnt be the first time someones tried to kill me
not like nec can exactly be stolen
i dont think normal pokeballs even fugging work on him
yeah uh
if nec doesnt want to be caught its kinda
you dont catch him

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>>9116158
>Firecat: cringe as the weight of failure settles on her shoulders

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>>9116169
...Alright. Why do you have him anyway?
And where's this guy you're looking for?