Objectophile Thread! What's the most fuggable object?

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MISTAH PHONE

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>>8877717
MISTAH PHONE IS A MISTAH PHONE NUMBER 4 I COUNTED

bamp before i sleek

B0mp

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bump

last bump

Onahole

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I'd fuck this donut so hard dammit

https://youtu.be/uSF7xkp52-g

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i love that fucking box

>>8883738
>it's not a real calendar
Fuck Progressive

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>>8876810
A fleshlight.

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bbump

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I dunno why, but i really like it when a cute character gets hurt.

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>>8887369
you wouldnt dare fuck a glass of orange juice

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>>8891562
Mmmmmm...

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>>8891128
>Mr Men
jesus christ i remember watching this casually whenever i had nothing better to do
other than that i remember nothing from it
good times
>>8890899
This made me laugh more than it probably should've
>>8890955
sadism has no boundaries

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>>8891657
After the character gets hurt i desperately want to snuggle them, does it still count as sadism?

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>>8891902
Sounds like borderline anon.

>>8891657
I watch Mr. Men at work and just pray that nobody sees me.

>>8882264
>whats your favorite idea?

>>8893433
Green is not a creative colour.

>>8891920
ok something like this needs a /d/ thread, I think I have a new fetish

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>>8893483
There was a doll thread on /trash/ months ago.
Its where I got these from.
The ones from it might still hang around.

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>>8891902
that sounds mildy adorable but yes because you did/let the abuse happen
you sick fucking douchebag
>>8891946
I do something similar with /trash/ in public and try my best to calmly scroll through all the furry and scat porn and hope no one sees
>>8894326
This gave me more questions than answers and im so conflicted now

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>>8891599
tch i wish i could be paper

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>>8895371
I reeeeeealy wanna cuddle Mr. Bump.

>>8897763
I wanna suck that coin's huge fat dick

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>>8898762
Saaaaame.

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>>8876810
What
>>8887460
said, but I agree with you about the Swordimon OP. Honestly a little tempted to writefag up a story about helping to sharpen him tomorrow if there's any interest.

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>>8901904
Do itttttt

https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/8080269

bump bwfore sleep

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bump

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>>8899982
trophy's dick ain't big enough if you ask me
It shouldn't be able to fit in my hands!

What's up with this thread and that fucking sword posted all the time? Isn't that a Pokemon anyways?

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>>8905364
There are a number of inanimate object Pokemon, he's an anthropomorphic weapon with a regal look to him. As far as I'm aware I'm the only other sword poster in the thread, but I could be wrong as I don't frequent Trash enough to know for certain. I do know this thread seems oriented towards a somewhat mild case of objectophilia over all, as nearly all of the posted pictures are at least drawn rather than simply photographs of cars, bridges, and what have you. I'd say the sword fits well here.

>>8901979
Very well, you can expect to see it later today. I equal parts admire and envy your earnestness.

>>8905156
Awwwwww i wanna give him love!!!

>>8901979 Finished

To Hilts with Hearts

It was the most embarrassing time of the month once again. My trainer stuffed the rest of his team into their Pokeballs and slipped them into his backpack. It had been a long day of battling, and the sun was beginning to set. I watched, concerned, as he watched me. I knew my blade had grown dull from battles well won. I needed sharpening.

An emotional warmth hit me as he smiled. I drifted closer. There was an attempt by me being made to appear unperturbed by the tools he began pulling from his bag. My resolute seeming stance faltered the second he drew from his bag both my file and whetstone. I scarcely stifled my excitement. There was a jittery nature to my levitation. The blocks and Sandshrew brand sanding paper followed. A blush began to form upon my blade. I raised my shield to hide it, and tried not to watch him prepare his station for me.

Most Aegislash got sharpened be negligent machines at the Pokemon Centers. I was one of the fortunate few to have a trainer willing to go the extra mile and make a skill of it. He knew full well how much I looked forward to it, and indulged in my regal and professional fantasies as I began to shudder. He did not have to double check or measure my length, and knew full well how to place the blocks upon which my body would rest during the filing.

>>8911924 (cont)

I lowered my shield and allowed him to take note of my blushed blade. A nod of acknowledgement was all I got, followed by him tapping his file upon the block where my hilt would rest. I pulled the shield back up, on guard for a moment at the sudden command to lie down. I was too eager to resist the instruction for long, and soon had my shield resting against a nearby tree to watch over us both as I approached the bed. His tapping ended as I hovered over and down while my arms folded over upon one another to try and sublimate all this excess energy that was building up.

My own tapping began as I laid myself down, too excited to lie still. I bent forward to see just how shaky I was before I straightened out and looked to him nervously the moment he chuckled. It was my hands’ turn to cover the blush, but he soon pushed those out of the way. He needed complete access to my blade, so I surrendered it. Down came the file.

It hovered close above my right edge, just at the start of my battle dulled bits. I closed my eye and rest my arm’s upon the forest floor. I ran them slowly through the grass as I waited for him to strike. Something to keep my hands well out of the way of my trainer’s work. As well as something to grab hold of when the feelings got too intense.

My eye shot open when I felt his hand grip my pommel. He was the only one. The only one I could ever trust with such a power over me. An ownership. It felt more like one than what any of the rest of his team could have felt. My attention drifted once more to the file. Anticipation. He toyed with it in his free hand, familiarizing himself with the weight of the tool before putting it to use on me. Griped tight to my pomel for stability he leaned in to draw the file along my precious blade.

>>8911950 (cont)

I grabbed the grass tight as my trainer’s first run of the file blasted away a discomfort I was not aware of. At least until the relief of it arrived. Relief. Every drag of the file brought it to me in slow grinding rhythmic waves. The sound it made echoed through to my core as the useless metallic buildup was pulled off. My sharpness soon shined through all where it had been.

My trainer made it halfway down my body before I lost my grip of the forest floor. He pulls the file away and chuckles softly as I scramble to find my hold once more. My blush deepens, and I look up at him. His chuckling ceased.

“Pent up. It has been awhile, has it not?” he said without a hint of judgement,” It’s alright Aegi, just relax.”

I looked to him for a guidance that had already been provided. Trying my best now I soon channel his respect into a more resolute enjoyment of things. I blinked. A few times even. His presence became my calm.

“I’m going to start going again, okay?”

I looked up to him. He loosened his grip to allow me to nod in approval. Hand and file alike returned to their respective places upon my body. There is still a shuddering, but it is focused now. Consistent in nature it helped my trainer better pare down to my point. I drew upon his strength, and watched the steady filework reveal my edge with care and precision.

Routine took charge by the time he made it to the end of my bladed body. One done, three left. I watched carefully as he slipped around me. Hands swapped, and the file grinding hand from before soon grips onto my pommel. Wordlessly he had begun to grind once more. The file danced across my left side, taking far less time for progress. It was not my favored side, so the dullness is not nearly so fierce. I am still made to draw upon his strength however, as the sensation of being ground to the tip is an overwhelming one for sure.

>>8912002 (cont)

The world spun as my view of him was replaced at first by a blur of sky and forest and then finally by a face full of somewhat irksome grass. The swirlding cacophony of distraction and focus had made it easy to twirl me in his hand. Face down now I was in the proper position for him to file the back of me. I grabbed at his wrist with my own hand in protest of such a display of control over me. I wanted some back. Having some hold upon him was enough for what was to follow. The other hand griped once more at the grass below as the file flew forth.

Thwack after thwack rang out now as he filed down first one edge then the other. He was now comfortable enough to file me faster than he ever had before. It was an entirely unknown technique to me, but the resulting sensation made me fall instantly in love with the practice. Blasting through my excess now he quickly reached halfway down and beyond. I let go of his pommel gripping hand and pushed myself up slightly. I made sure to bend so as to not disrupt his flow. He allowed this. He allowed me to look into the forest and see that no one was watching. Pokemon or human alike. I wanted to be alone with him. And I was. Good.

To my rear tip he had arrived. The file round, along, and roughly against my point with ease and grace. The years of steady practice had truly shown through. By the time he pulled the file off I just could not handle anymore of such treatment. I pushed his hand, hoping to be let up. To be given release. And it comes. He slipped his hand free and tapped my blade twice with the file to let me know I could get up. I launched myself off the blocks and drove forward slashing and slicing and drifting left and right. There was a boundless amount of energy to burn off that his file had summoned inside of me and it was all just too much. I held my hands around my blade tight and shook in the air at odd angles for some time before calming.

>>8912028 (and end)

I did not care that he was watching. He could watch me do anything and everything after that treatment. Desires to feel along his handiwork were too strong to let embarrassment hold them back. Crossing my arms I pinched each side of my blade. I ran my fingers along my double edge, feeling each and every scuff mark his good treatment had left upon me. It was so much and there were so many, I once more began to jitter. He had done his first job impeccably as always.

I turned just in time to see him splash my whetstone with water. We were not done yet.

***

Hope you and perhaps many more people in the thread enjoy it. I'm definitely interested in any comments and critique anyone might have to offer.

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>>8912057
holy heck anon
fantastic

>>8913356
Glad you like it, I'm kind of curious what it would be like to roleplay this kind of stuff. Writing it was certainly entertaining.

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>>8913651
I'm not usually the plugging kinda guy but I'm sure PAR could help you out. I don't go there but.
>>8910440
Might be your kinda thing?

>>8913681
Maybe, I was not so subtly dropping an invitation at you though. Unless there's more than one guy super into Aegislash on here.

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>>8913784
Heck I'll consider your invitation. I still suggest PAR, they let lewd stuff in and they're more skilled than I am.

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>>8914273
Glad to be considered at least. I'll look over PAR, but as far as more traditional pokemon go I'm a bit covered to be honest. And don't sell yourself short.

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>>8914750
Much appreciated anon.

>>8915058
You're welcome. By the way, where do you get all this art of him?

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>>8915154
Tumblr mostly.
http://choco-maize.tumblr.com/tagged/aegislash
https://aegi-slash.tumblr.com/
Pixiv is also good.

>>8915199
Oh nice, is that your tumble?

>>8915467
Tumblr*

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>>8915467
>>8915486
Nope, fampai. I've been trying to get gud at art but I'm nowhere near that level.

>>8903252
>>8903255
>straight porn
fuck, I fucking love Yes Man
but damn, would love these better if they were gay

>>8915503
I tried to get good but ended up focusing on my writing instead since that usually got more compliments.

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>>8915582
I might be able to find you some stuff gimme a bit.
>>8915788
Writing is fun man I'm not here to tell you what to do. I've been practicing my writing but I'm still not amazing.

>>8915894
I didn't think you were. I've always found it more engaging too, but gradual positive feedback is always a good motivator.

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>>8915967
I think you do great as is man. Keep on writing.

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>>8917213
Thank you. I've had a decent amount of success on FA over the past few years. But about that roleplay invite~ Do you have a tumblr I might be able to get in touch with you through?

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So i made this in my sketchbook so i hope you guys enjoy misshapen light fixture that i fucked up when i inked and semi accurate sword
\

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I question my sanity from time to time
anyways how yall right now?

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>>8921051
gotta go to work in like 8 hours
rip
thank you for bumping thread anon its very appreciated

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>>8921674
go to bed, anon.

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>>8922056
make me

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>>8922149
come to bed then, anon.

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>>8922255
dont see ya makin me

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>>8922281
please?
i'm not good at this, it's the complete opposite of my thing.

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>>8922384
unconvinced

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>>8922398
come on maaan.
i'll give you some sweet snugs.

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>>8922515
snugs?
im in

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>>8922558
sweet.
come get me nerd, warm snugs aplenty.

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>>8922611
yis

any new objects you guys seen lately?

all you sword fuckers are alright

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bump

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Literally a candle

>>8933644
i would kill to fug that candle

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>>8922611
>>8922623

So there are two of you. Fascinating.

>>8936100
lewd

>>8928734
unf id fuck them so hard

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since i remember Robots were allowed
here's a robot i drew earlier today

sord

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>>8943154
sord.

>>8940713
Who's he/she?

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>>8945628
if elfdrago didn't exists we would have more sword porn
or less in actual hindsight but it would be more non anthro so it sort of counts... i think
anywyas more robots

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>>8945827
>anthro
yeah fug that i wish more people did sordlewds
nice art man

>>8943792
he's Crispin from the game Primordia

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bump

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Serious question, guys, how do you FUCK a sword?
Do you just rub your dick on the handle or insert the handle inside yourself?