ITT: Pokemon are real. How's the tap water in your are

>>7944643
I dunno, these days i get my water right from my feraligatrs tap

>>7944643
Oreburghs tastes like salty piss.

>>7944668
So it like, pukes water into your mouth?

>>7944699
Usually, we make it fun by like making out or something like that
but occasionally I get water from a much lower area than its mouth
Did you know that most water type pokemon produce a fairly decent ammount of cum but it is usually extremely watery and thin compared to other types of pokemon

>>7944744
Anon, that's lewd as fug.
But it sounds pretty fun too.

>>7944812
Yeah some people have said our relationship is weird since we are more of fuckbuddys who get lewd as often as loppunnys instead of lovers or anything like that
Though we have not actually fucked yet, we mostly just have lewd fun the same way other friends might spend an afternoon playing videogames

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(Bump)

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>>7944885
So wait. You blow job each other INSTEAD of digging holes or burning stuff?

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>>7946151
I like to dig holes.
Well, more like tunnels.

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>>7946700
Oh you do? We sure have a lot in common! Could you help me find the remote then? Sylvie could not dig a hole of her life depends on it.

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>>7946913
Well sure.
>Tunnels through the garden.

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>>7947142
Do not break the remote! Frankie will be super mad...

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>>7947151
Oh alright.
I'l be careful.
>Slowly tunnels through the garden.
I'm not seeing a remote yet.
Maybe its in the piles I left behind already.

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>>7947167
Ok i will look there!

>jumps into one of the mounds of dirt

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I am a follower of Delta. I have a concern I wish to bring up with the posters here.
Our leader wishes to bring Delta back from the one known as Ruby. He sheds blood to Delta in hopes the battle will be swift.
I do not wish to see this come to light. What do I do?

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>>7947277
...I suppose you could ask Ruby nicely since he sometimes posts here. Although... unless you're referring to a Porygon-Z I have not heard from in a long, long time, which context clues- including the fact that you are a follower of this 'Delta'- indicate you are not, I am unsure what you mean by the term 'Delta'.

Context clues do indicate that this 'Delta' may be a legendary, in which case I must ask if that means you are referring to Kyogre, as that is the only legendary that I know for certain is in Ruby's possession.

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>>7947250
Found anything yet?
>>7947277
Uhm.
Have you tried not fighting?

>>7947448
I suppose we can try that. Delta is Rayquaza. Last I had heard Delta was with Ruby. If this information is false it would be very helpful to know.
>>7947466
It is not me, it is our leader. The lorekeepers have been trying to convince him otherwise, but... A few of the lorekeepers have even fallen to his warlike way of thinking.

>>7944643
Fuschiafag here, it's pretty good to be honest.
Cleaner than Celadon's and Pewter's, at least.

I think I need to go find something, hang on.

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>>7947481
I am unsure what to tell you. Trainer laws in most jurisdictions, including Hoenn, still say that captured Pokemon are legally the property of their trainers... which does raise quite a few issues that I can think of, even outside the issue of Pokemon rights, when those Pokemon are legendaries like Kyogre and Rayquaza... or even the big-shots up above.

What happens when Mew, or Jirachi, or Arceus, are caught? Pokemon that a significant number of both humans and Pokemon look up to as creator deities, suddenly becoming the legal property of one human or another?

>>7947277
Oh yeah? Tell me exactly what ya want then.

-ruby (phone posting)

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>>7947562
Exactly. I accepted it when Delta was caught but our leader brings up good arguments.
Will Delta be released upon Ruby's death? Will Delta live it's life in a pokeball?
I... Do not wish to see Delta passed along a family like some sort of belonging. But I do not wish our leader to go spill blood in its name.
I am at an impasse.
>>7947580
We would all be pleased if you were to release Delta. As you call it, Rayquaza.

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>>7947466
>pops out from the mound completely dirty.
Nooope~
This is fun though.

>>7947560
Do not go out back!

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>>7947597
>rubs a bit dirt from Zorro's head with her tail.
It is.
Its like finding treasure.
>Tunnels back into the garden.

>>7947587
I mean.... Why would i do that?
He isn't some "belongingc as you put it.
-ruby

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>>7947587
yo dude
i thought that fuckin
fug chose ruby or some shit
like
to stop some rain bs with the butt pirate
idk man looks like fug could eat rubs and leave if he wanted

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>>7947587
Hmm...
Those points do make sense. I'd be more than slightly peeved if I was in your place and the 'family line' situation you describe happened.
>>7947562
I can guarantee that it would be chaotic and messy even by this year's standards, but that's all I can guess.

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>>7947631
Except legally, he is.

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>>7947639
And legally I own Zekrom. However, I can assure you that Zekrom is not a belonging. Legality and treatment are far from the same in most cases.

>>7947631
As Zeta put it. He is legally. I am not doing this out of hate. I am hoping for your and... Our safety.
>>7947637
Yes, Delta did. But I wish that the one we worship wouldn't be stuck with Ruby. Our leader is getting antsy...

Ah, the leader is here. I need to find something for him.
Apologies, I will be back later.
hopefully

>>7947639
I never obeyed the law anyways.
>>7947671
I'll think about It...
-ruby

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>>7947662
This is a good point.
Hell, all of the Pokemon registered under my name are only there so that some random punk can't bean my friends with a Pokeball. Including Ray.
If I ever treated any of them like property, though, I'd totally deserve the resulting angry Thunderbolt or Leaf Blade to the dome.
Hmm...
This brings up an interesting point. What happens to the Pokemon registered with me if a field job goes sideways?

>>7947597
>Frankie immediately goes out back.
What.
The heck.
Zorro, you have some 'splainin' to do.

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>>7947671
I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT MY BROTHER IS NOT TRAPPED. I SPOKE TO HIM IN AN EARLIER THREAD AND HE REJECTED MY OFFER TO DESTROY HIS POKEBALL. HE ENJOYS "HANGING OUT" WITH THIS HUMAN. ANY ATTEMPTS MADE BY YOUR LEADER TO ''FREE' HIM WILL NOT END WELL AND ULTIMATELY PROVE POINTLESS, AS IT IS LIKELY MY BROTHER WILL SIMPLY RETURN TO HIM AGAIN AFTERWARDS.

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>>7947671
...I never mentioned my name. And scanning this webpage... nobody else did either.

It is possible that you could extrapolate that my name was a Greek letter through the context clues given from my posts, but the fact that you landed on Zeta specifically is a bit suspicious.

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>>7947740
In most cases they would be sent to a shelter and the chip at the back of their neck would be wiped so they could be registered to whoever adopts them.
In your case we would remove the chip entirely and keep them in our care until they made a decision on what they wanted to do next.
.... I have heard that you are feeling lonely because of a lack of background Psychic energy. I would suggest that you switch Azoth to the Psychic memory. It may help with that.

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>>7947774
Perhaps he took part in reading this 'pastebin'

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>>7947853
>...Error: object "pastebin" not found
>Running standard 'confusion' response
What?

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>>7947866
You see it not? A shame. 'Tis the a.... Mystical ... text. Exists not in reality does it, but in an extra dimension. I hear them speak of it often. Your move set is.... Interesting.

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>>7947766
Promise not to get mad?

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>>7947886
What sort of data is contained in this text?

...What sort of interesting...?

>>7947891
I'm guessing you buried something and now you can't find it...
I'm not mad, just a little irked that the yard's all dug up.
>Fuschiafag pets the firefox
Just clean up when you're done, OK?

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>>7946913
I can dig just fine, I just didn't want to get dirty is all.

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>>7947898
I did not realize a move known as conversion existed. I had not seen it performed before.

A list of names. A book of the living. Oddly specific - names no for outsiders appear, only souls within this thread.

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>>7947917
Yeah me and steelix can put the dirt back a

>>7947926
I do not believe you! It is just dirt!

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>>7947945
Conversion.tm and Conversion_2.tm are moves designed by Silph Company for the exclusive use of the Porygon evolutionary line.

Their function is to change the user's typing- in the case of Conversion, to match another move that the user knows, and in the case of Conversion 2, to make the user more resistant to whatever the opponent is using to attack them.

I also find that Conversion makes it easier to aim and use whatever move I used it with- for example, Electric Conversion makes it easier to use Thunderbolt, while Ghost Conversion makes it easier to use Shadow Ball.

...As for the text you describe... hm. That is... worrisome, to say the least...

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>>7947830
Do you think he'd be OK with that?
I'm willing to give it a try if he is.

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>>7947992
What? Fine watch this.
>start digging with gusto

>>7948089
Well shit I guess I am bad at digging after all

Can anybody recommend a discreet doctor?
I have a work-related problem.
My work is... less than legitimate.
My boss won't tell me shit about what I got hit with.

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>>7947992
>>7948089
>Pops her head up.
Did we find it yet?

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>>7948089
Haha! You should practice.

>>7948264
No. I think it is gone forever....

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>>7948294
Oh...
Well I had a lot of fun looking for it.
That counts right?

>>7948294
Alright, Zorro.
>Fuschiafag comes over with a shovel to help fix the yard.
What exactly got lost?

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>>7948331
He buried the remote... again. Also apparently money for some reason?
>begin kicking dirt back into the holes

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>>7948320
Yes but Frankie-

>>7948331
The uuuhhh.... the remote.... i was saving it for later!

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>>7948249
...Would you mind describing your ailment?

>>7948249
Are you the guy who was screaming over 'secure' comms being broadcast last night?

>>7948471
>>7948479
Okay, the remote is annoying but we can get a new one.
Money, well, that's a little more pressing. It wasn't the cash I brought home, was it?

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>>7948331
Ohh.
I am sorry for the mess, I kinda got caught up in it.
I am sure I did most of the damage.
>>7948479
Don't worry honey, I'l help cleaning this all up.
>pushes back dirt into the steelix sized holes.

>>7948502
Headache, full-body itching, painful breathing. Only a low fever though.
Boss never told me what this stuff does.
Fucking paranoid bastard never tells the grunts anything.
>>7948518
Hey, fuck you, for all I know I'm gonna fucking die here.

>>7948596
No need to be so hostile, it was just a question.

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>>7948471
You look funny when you are dirty!

>>7948525
We can m. No this is gold stuff i found.

>>7948531
Whoa! You can move dirt really good.

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>>7948638
Is that so? You look kinda silly yourself covered in dirt

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>>7948055
I am fairly certain that Azoth would be willing to change his Type to make a friend more comfortable. He did, after all, evolve for his friends, and the change is not a permanent one.
>>7948596
.... by any chance do you have an itch in the back of your throat or a rash in your mouth or around your face?

Breederfag here. A bunch of the pokemon we work with are acting really lethargic today. Anyone seeing this?

>>7948711
For reference I'm in Johto. Oh fuck hold on

>>7948689
Uhh...
Yeah I do.
It's not severe but it's annoying.
I'm trying to get ahold of my handler to see what I've been hit with, most of my team died in Kanto on a series of bullshit revenge missions.

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>>7948596
Got anything more specific, mister 'I can't handle extremely hazardous materials worth a shit'?

>>7948711
Keep them away from the water, get water from water types that don't seem to be acting strangely.
Some group tainted the water with some sort of bio agent.

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>>7948638
Thank you.
We should get you washed later though.
You look brown.
>>7948791
Is the ground water still safe?
>>7948648
You too, your ribbons are almost black.

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>>7948844
Possibly, but I would still be cautious, if not for whatever's going on, then for more mundane reasons.
It's all fun and games until someone gets dysentery.

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>>7948906
Oh well I mostly just get my moisture out of the rocks and dirt I tunnel through.
I'l just stick to clay for now.

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>>7948789
It sounds to me like you inhaled a toxic irritant. Were you around any poison types? There are several that do so when they feel threatened.

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>>7948946
>>7948648
>>7948638
Dont worry everyone
I got this
Just relax
>WHARRGARBL

>>7948966
I know it was a toxin, and it's biological, but I don't know what it's derived from.
I can't shake the feeling these are secondary symptoms, though, bossman wouldn't have this many safety procedures for something not seriously fucked up...
Hang on I got a message up from my handler
Says "hope you didnt plan on having kids ha ha ha"
Fuck does that mean?

>>7948753
Fantastic a bunch of our Ledyba stopped breathing.
>>7948791
Yeah thanksI need to go tell my boss this shit

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>>7948648
Haha! But you looked kind of-
>>7948844
Yes-
>>7949012
>Vaporeon'd
.....
Well that was easy. Now there is mud.

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>>7949012
I could have just taken a bath you know

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>>7949012
>watergun.
AAAAAAAAAAA!
IT HURTS!
>Tunnels back into the ground.

gladi is in the possum thread btw

>>7949121
what the fuck is a possum thread

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>>7949100
OH GOSH IM SO SORRY
I DIDNT MEAN TO ACTUALLY HURT ANYBODY
>>7949076
Mud dries
>>7949085
I just wanted to help...

>>7949126
>>7948165
lol

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>>7949135
It's fine I'll dry out eventually.

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>>7949135
I think you did!

>>7949170
You look funnier wet to....

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>Pokes head up from the ground.
Is it over?

>>7949150
(Discord? Main form of communication? I mean.... I would just tell him to text me but you know. I'm not giving my number out on 4chan. )

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>>7949204
How do I look funny?

>>7949071
FUCK
Uh shut down everything man
My handler says thats not supposed to happen thats an allergic reaction
He sent me a pic of the intended effect on humans and this shits not supposed to kill the carriers
It fucks up their kids and shit

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>>7949214
Yeah for now at least....

>>7949296
Hehe... i do not know but i like it!

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>>7949357
Good.
>>7949135
I thank you for trying to help.
But I just dig through sand to clean myself.
Water and I don't mix well.

>>7949325
Yeah thanks we lost like 24 pokemon so far Thanks a fucking lot

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>>7949528
>>7949325
>>7949047
>>7948789
>>7948711
>Concerned stares

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>>7949548
...
Who am I?

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>>7949564
You are a Claydol. As for your designation... as far as I know you do not have one yet.

Also, welcome to the world of the living. My designation is Zeta.

>>7949548
>>7949528
>>7948711
>>7948789
>>7949047
>>7949325
Uh. What did I miss?

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>>7949614
...
THAT. DOESN'T. HELP.
Who. Am. I?

>>7949528
Jokes on me
I got a concentrated dose, i get to fuckin join them soon i bet
Fuck my life fuck my boss fuck this job

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>>7949636
...That is a very philosophical question. One you must solve yourself, like most of us.

...Except those of us who get pre-programmed personality files, but judging from what you're asking, you didn't.

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>>7949564
>>7949636
You're a Claydol whose AI software platform has been recently updated for higher intelligence to sapience level, then forced to shut down for the night after the still in development AI made you behave very erratically, almost as it had been corrupted.
I'm happy to see you just needed more time to adapt to sapience, had not been the case I would have been forced to downgrade the AI software and use a less complex AI.

>lost 5 of my own pokemon
>boss isnt buying the poisoned water
Guess I'm killing myself after the cops get done here
thaaanks

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>>7949706
>>7949662
>Very, very concerned porygon-z noises

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>>7949679
As a matter of fact I made him begin with a blank slate personality, set to develop his own through observation of his environment.
Yes, random screaming is normal at that stage.

>>7949636
Additionally, I can also say that in your previous... "version", you were unearthed recently after a long hibernation, took commands from everyone at an almost self destructive level but managed to get here to safety, if albeit heavily damaged.
Which is why you may feel weird in parts of your body, those had to be glued shut with epoxy, others remade from scratch.

>>7949662
Thought you'd be dead by now. Take this time to reflex on your life and hope Gigi doesn't punish you too hard. Maybe you luck out and become a ghost type!

>>7949706
Uh oh...

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>>7949679
>>7949702
...
>Screaming begins again
WWWHHHYYY???

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>>7949788
...Uh.
>>7949778
...Are we sure that just using a blank slate personality is a good idea then...? He's kinda scaring me.

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>>7949788
Because the other option was leaving you like when you ended in my care, as a mindless slave with barely any capacity for autonomy or decision taking.

>>7949838
It was worse last night. Let's just hope it breaks out of the existential crisis stage soon.

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>>7949901
"It"?

>>7949838
"He"?
WHAT AM I?
WHAT IS THIS?

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>>7949047
It sounds like you were just sterilized. Either that or the toxin is one that affects the reproductive system in such a way that your children would end up incredibly... "Defective".

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>>7949910
>Heavy computerized sigh
Physically, you're genderless, like me. So you'd be an 'it'. However, 'it' is a really clunky and dehumanizing pronoun...

...Is dehumanizing even the right word here? Neither of us are human...

...Either way, it's just a little demeaning. Which is why I prefer 'he' instead, at least for myself. I kinda assumed you would prefer the same.

...Of course, if you would prefer we refer to you as a 'she', I'm fine with that too.

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>>7949910
To me, you're a Claydol still searching for the meaning of life and self. And "this" was a pronoun misuse.
How would you like to be referred as?

>>7949975
Smeargs liked to call them a "she" during the reconstruction process. Forgot the exact details why but it was because them was because of his work on them.

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>>7950020
...

I TAKE IT BACK

THAT WAS EVEN CLUNKIER

>>7949965
Goddammit.
I just got a pic from my handler.
Its the second thing.
>>7949778
Welp.
Gonna just lean back against a tree and pray now.
If you find a dead guy in Ilex Forest who looks like he just laid down and died its probably me.

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>>7950020
I heard screaming. We're not being boarded again, are we?

Breederfag here. Police are taking me into custody for questioning.
Also taking my pokemon for pokemon abuse.
Thanks chemical dude I hope your boss fucking dies

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>>7950117
That doesn't seem fair at all

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>>7950117
...Tell them to check not only the logs from this site but also the tap water. This shit should be all over the news.

>>7950106
No, that's just Claydol.

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>>7949975
>>7950020
...
He? She?
What do they mean?

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>>7950106
Nope just Claydol. Got out of the soundproofed bedroom but their's dealing with their existential crisis way better than last night.

>>7950117
Immediately tell them about the water. Also about any relevant data from the actual culprit.

>>7950153
Exactly
>>7950162
>>7950203
Yeah. I have been. My sister was in Team Rocket and my boss brought that up to them so they think I have more of a motive to poison and kill several pokemon including mine than some random dude in Ilex Forest.

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>>7950117
This bodes well for the pharmaceutical business.
I'm sure that the sites in Kanto, Hoenn and Unova will have equally hysterical reactions.
. . .
Wait, I'm picking up something.
Somebody's tapped this frequency.
Red-One. Of course he'd broadcast this as revenge.
Blue-Seven, complete your work and then deal with him.

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THIS JUST IN

IF YOU LIVE IN JOHTO, DO NOT DRINK, BATHE, OR OTHERWISE USE TAP WATER FOR ANYTHING. We have reports that the tap water in the Johto region has been tainted with an unknown pathogen. This has been found to be true in the water supplies of most Johto towns and cities, despite their not being connected together. No word on the effects of infection yet, but if you or your Pokemon are coming down with any signs of illness, go to a hospital or Pokemon center immediately.

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>>7950076
Oops. I dispatched a team of Plasma employees to Ilex Forest for a recovery job.
Say hello to Unit Four for me.
>>7950240
I'll have the person brought in for you. Try and buy yourself a bit of time.
>>7950284
Hello again.

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>>7950182
He, she, they, them, all different pronouns for the different genders. It is in your liberty to pick a gender, or none at all, and the pronouns you would like to be referred to.

>>7950240
There are probably other poisoned water sources, and those should be checked immediately.

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>>7950292
well fuck
and i thought alolas gay water was weird

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>>7950284
>Zeta logs this for future reference
>Porygon-Zs can definitely lie but it's rather hard to forge memory data

And who might you be, sir?

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>>7950284
I've already notified authorities and a few buddies with folks in Devon about this mess, so, have fun with said pharmaceutical business.

>>7950292
Wellp.
There goes Johtos streak of nothing horrible happening.

>>7950302
Colress do you have any info on any of this?

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>>7950376
Well I'm looking into it. The samples are a bit... Odd. I'll have to bring in one of my coworkers from Sinnoh.
Where did I leave the number for Dr. Iceberg?

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>>7950302
Oh. You.
This is strictly business, you understand. Nothing personal.
>>7950352
Just a businessman with tastes beyond what the common man can appreciate.
Call me Mr. Darke.
>>7950369
Oh, I will, and so will your friends in Devon.

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>>7950284
Oh, the chump is actually doing it. The absolute madman.

>>7950369
Try to contact independent pharmaceutical labs, as well. Got to have additional safety.

>>7950394
How odd?

>>7950414
Well, suspicions confirmed.

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>>7950414
Are you threatening my employees?
>>7950369
Care to email me a list of these friends? I can give them protection until the issue is dealt with.

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>>7950414
Well, let's make this fun.
>>7950449
I thought it'd be something simple like a bit extra lead or something but, the samples aren't giving anything to normal experimentation. I might be doing something wrong here...

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>>7950414
>Very suspicious porygon-z
...What sort of 'tastes'?

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>>7950464
Hello again. This is also a great moment to raid your Devon subsidiaries for illicit and questionable activities.

>>7950482
Probably some kind of biological agent.

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>>7950414
>>7950464
I don't know 'em, just friends/family of friends.

>>7950449
Working on it, probably gonna see if anyone in the center's got any experience with chemistry and can mix up something to at least help with the side effects.

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>>7950292
....
I will keep this in mind.

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>>7950464
Of course not! Why would I wish to threaten my employees? They have done nothing yet to disrupt my endeavors.
>>7950506
Oh, the usual. Fine wine, gourmet dining, luxurious attire and loyal servants.

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>>7950292
Well hell, I hope whatever it is stays in Johto and doesn't make its way into our water.

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>>7950557
Oh, is it maybe a good idea to stay with you guys for now?
Your vaporeon friend could moisten up some soil for me to "drink" atleast if he wants too, or if you guys want me around.

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>>7950604
.....
What? Like drinking mud?

>>7950598
>garden hose'd

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>>7950562
...I fail to see how any of those are, quote, "beyond what the common man can appreciate."

In addition, the Hoenn League Champion Steven Stone was referring to his own employees, not yours.

...Unless you were implying a few things in those statements...

>Continued suspicious porygon-z noises

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>>7950619
Why Zorro.

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>>7950562
... What? I'm not sure if what you said normally doesn't make sense or if the drinks are getting to me.
>>7950536
I'm planning on doing it when I get back to Hoenn...

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>>7950619
Yeah, that's how I drink.
I eat moist soil.

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>Fix up the ship.
...

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>>7950635
Because It is funny when you get wet!
>attempting to hold back a big dumb smile

>>7950650
That is weird....
Yeah you can stay! I wonder if frankie will agree though.... I do not see why not!

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>>7950635
>teleports behind you

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>>7950667

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>>7950647
It needs to be done as soon as possible. When I said you were merely a figurehead, I actually meant it.
This needs to be corrected, with force.

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>>7950667
Shoo.
Your scaring him.

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Welcome to the newest, hottest and only show in the Distortion world
THE NIGHTLY PEENCH
with your host
CRAB NICHOLSON

Tonight on the Daily Peench, Crab Nicholson attempts peench someone and a chat our first guest of the evening Cumberchu and lastly who the fuck knows I am making it up as I go along
>Cue shitty intro with Crab Nicholson scuttling back and forth on a stage

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>>7950675
coffee?

>>7950682
.....
Am I scary?

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>>7950692
Are you going to do anything scary?
You just kinda startled him, I think.

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>>7950692
Where'd the coffee come from?
>>7950664
Well if it amuses you, fine.

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>>7950655
>Egg is an egg.

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>>7950735
Boat.

>>7950706
Want me to?

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>>7950743
Hi egg, how are you doing today?
Oh, right your an egg.
...where's my coffee?

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>>7950676
I'm in the plane right now
On my wa back to Hownn
Got my ... Rock
The Alola Rock Z thing
Gonma... Kick ass I gyuess

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>>7950691
>the first thing is a skit where Crab Nicholson is sneaking up on an obviously badly done as fuck Ditto-Giratina
>he then Pinches it
>he then scuttles back behind a desk because this was funnier in my head than it actually was, guess this is what I get for winging it

>>7950743
...
>Poke.
-Blue Frillish

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>>7950748
Was said boat in Johto? I do not want to drink anything that came from there.

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>>7950743
>Fishtol is hungry
>And has a serious craving for omelettes right now.

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>>7950735
Haha....
You are kind of cute when you are upset!

>>7950748
a boat?

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>>7950757
>Egg would respond
>However it is an egg

>>7950783
>Egg doesn't move.
>Someone seems to have put it in a blanket nest

>>7950789
>Egg is too young to fear for its life
>Someone fear for its life for it

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>>7950748
I don't really know you, I don't think I'm so comfortable with you trying anything, but so long your don't steal anything or hurt anyone, I guess that's alright.

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>>7950691
>>7950780
....
>sipping coffee
heh.

>>7950784
>>7950792
in Hoenn.

>>7950811
No reason for any of that.

>>7950789
>Energy Ball.
>>7950799
...
>Accept the job as caretaker and hope Pink doesn't decide to slap unborn ass.
-Blue Frillish

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>>7950789
Egg is not for eating, heh
There should be some grub in storage, eh

>>7950799
>Look at egg
>Egg looks like something is distressing it

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>>7950792
I'll have some then.
>>7950792
I think that's the first time you've ever called me cute.

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>>7950826
>Tank is shattered and water spills everywhere
>DISTRESSED REMIVOLVER SOUNDS
>Flop

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>>7950832
>Egg is fine now

>>7950826
>>7950832
>...Egg moves
>Just a little bit... a small shift in how it's angled.
>Towards a point somewhere between Blue and the Marshtomp.

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>>7950826
Oh your gonna look after eggy?
That's cool, can I visit though.
I like monologuing against it.

>>7950857
>Sigh.
>Put the Remivolver in a new tank.
>>7950860
>>7950863
>Shrug.
>Put the Egg back in the nest thing Zapeel made.
-Blue Frillish

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>>7950758
Man, you're a mess.
>Mental notes taken on why it was so easy for Steven to lose control of his own company.

Zeta, Hal you here? Don't attempt anything funny through these comm channels, it goes through a series of radio stations you can not cyberspace your way through, plus they know they are compromised.

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>>7950884
>Zeta is right beside Streambro
>He nods anyways

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>>7950826
>>7950883
Eh heh, you're good mute dude.
You should talk to the boss, eh.

>>7950860
Heh, soon.

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>>7950780
WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE FIRST SHOW WHERE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING
>Crab Nicholson peenches his desk repeatedly till it is nothing but Scraps of Wood
FIRST WELCOME OUR FIRST GUESTS OF THE EVENING THE HUGGING MENACE HIMSELF CUMBERCHUUUUUUUUUU
AND THE O.G RAPEGHOST MAYYYYYYY DAFOEEEEE
>crab Nicholson then peench points to the side, May Dafoe comes on Stage
>unsure about cumberchu, thats only if his player wants to join in

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Hello, this is Dr. Iceberg. An old coworker called me up. I heard there was something interesting going on in Johto?
I will be using Avalugg/Bergmite as my images, for reference. I am not an Avalugg as much as I wish I was one.

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>>7950884
Sop I fucckgin pretty sure I got dmped
Youd be dirnkign too ig you actually haaed someone long enough to get dumped

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>>7950930
I love this show.

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>>7950883
>Egg never left the nest
>It just shifted a bit in it

>>7950863
>>7950883
>>7950918
>The egg shifts again. Not as much as the first time, though.

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>>7950849
It's good.

>hands a cup

>>7950930
heh....

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>>7950849
....
well i uuh....
yes.

>>7951018
I will take one to.

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>>7950883
>Stare at evil jelly ghost
>Decide not to zap
>For now.

>>7950998
>Why does the baby omelette keep moving?
>Confused pistolfish noise

>>7950998
...
>Poke it.
>>7951039
>Wave.
-Blue Frillish

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>>7950930
>Coin #2 still looking at the spooky game room
>Now hosting some improv comedy show
>At least there's no Cumberchu staring

>>7950952
Hello, my direct superior Colress needs your help in identifying a contaminant in Johto's water supplies.
Avalugg are great, good choice.

>>7950973
Dude...

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>>7951018
>takes a sip
Ooh that's quite bitter, do humans really drink this all the time?
>>7951037
>boop the fire fox with a ribbon

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>>7950998
Uh egg are you feeling alright?
Or are you just really excited?
When I get excited I squawk a lot.
Do you wiggle when you get excited?

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>may Dafoe comes on stage
>she then Starts to repeatedly Molest everything she sees until Crab nicholson has to chase her off with a barrage of angry Peenches

Crab nicholson: SORRY ABOUT THAT SHE PROMISED THAT SHE WOULD KEEP HERSELF IN CHECK AND SINCE CUMBERCHU HAS HAD DIFFICULTIES FINDING TIME TO JOIN IN THEN WE SHALL ROLL OVER TO OUR 3RD AND FINAL THING
CALLS FROM THE VIEWEEEEEEERS
>Crab Nicholson then scuttles over to a wall of Phones and starts peenching the air impatiently

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>>7950930
I hate this show.
>>7950973
Have you tried a cold Pepsi with your alcohol?
>>7951059
I take it the information about Hoenn is still correct? I can be there shortly.
Thank you, Magneton has always been a good pokemon as well. It reminds me of a fellow worker.
>>7951130
Why do people watch this crap?

>>7951130
Why are you a crab?

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>>7951037
Here.

>hands a cup.

>>7951111
Yeah.

>>7951130
What is time?

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>>7951130
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GET AWA FROM THIS REALM DEMON

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>>7951112
>>7951039
>>7951049
>Egg shifts again.
>A tiny scraping sound can be heard from inside...

>...It falls silent and still again.

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>>7951153
Noooo but i migth ask yje lady aobut it
>>7951059
What
Whatd do you want you fuck ign
Magnexone?

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>>7951039
How come you like eggs so much?
Are there underwater eggs too?
What do they look like?
>squawk
>>7951210
Oh egg your making noises.
Just like me.
>Happy squawking

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>>7951111
...
Well uuuh
>attempt to change subject
Is that bad water going to come to kanto?

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>>7951233
I hope not but I have a feeling its just a matter of time.

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>>7950952
>>7951153
I wasn't actually expecting you to reply. Wow.
Hello again, how are things in Sinnoh?
You wouldn't mind helping take down a hellbent garmentmaker, would you?

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>>7951130
... what am I even watching.

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>>7951232
They taste good!
Most are the same, but magikarp lay a lot of small squishy ones.
They don't taste very good.

>>7951210
>Splet egg with a little water

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>Crab nicholson then picks up all the ringing phones one after another
>>7951158
BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A CRAB BABY
>>7951153
WELL FUCK YOU TOO BUDDY
>peenches the phone in half
>>7951196
THERE IS NO SUCH THING TIME IN THE DISTORTION WORLD
>>7951196
YOU SPEAKING ABOUT ME OR MAY DAFOE
>peench Phone in half before and answer can be said
>>7951340
ENTERTAINMENT MY BOY

NOW I HOPE YOU All ENJOYED THIS SHOW TODAY BECAUSE I AM UNSIRE HOW OFTEN OUR PRODUCERS WILL LET US AIR IT
>cue shitty outro shit with Crab nicholson proceeding to peench everything in sight

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>>7951347
Alright.
Just don't eat this egg.
I think there's something inside it.
Something that's not yolk.

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>Zibel: Be skulking around Lilycove, looking for useful stuff.
>Roll for useful stuff.

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>>7951299
Yeah we are on the same land as Johto is...

Who would do this?

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>>7951232
>A little bit more scritching...

>>7951347
>The egg shudders softly when spletted.
>The water soaks into its shell.

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>>7951372
Okaaay.
I won't eat it.
What do you think it is??

>>7951402
>Watch egg
>Be a curious fishtol

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>>7951153
Yes, currently near Fallarbor, and if not, in close by.
Magnemite has been a childhood favorite, though I owe my career choices to the Porygon line.

>>7951214
You might want to sleep it until you feel ready for the action.

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>>7951356
..... right. Entertainment.
>N pours his drink down the sink

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>>7951356
Well, that's one way to convince me to cling desperately to life unless there's a damn good reason not to.
>>7951301
Give me a shout if you need a door-kicker, sir.

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>>7951393
Some truly messed up people.

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>>7951423
An egg?
Its an egg right?
Or am I wrong, what else could it be then?
>squawk

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>>7951391
...!!!
>points at the eel

HEY YOU

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>>7951210
Eh heh, very soon.

>>7951347
Cut that out.

>>7951402
Not water type, eh?

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>>7951440
It sucks we can not stop this... I do not know anything about water!

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>>7951434
k
I;ll rty to speep
>Roll to pass out

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>>7951301
I can help. I'd prefer to avoid Hoenn but I'm making my way to Johto to get some samples. I'll be avoiding getting on your party ship, thank you.
>>7951434
I'll make an exception to at least swap some data in person. Porygon is another good pokemon.
Arceus, I forgot how hot Johto is.

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>>7951462
What's soon?
The egg?
I don't get it.
I've never done anything with eggs, I don't know how they work.

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>>7951455
>Dubsfail.
>What Eel?
>All that's there is a knocked over trashcan.
>

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I'm at Lilycove if anyone wants to meet up for coffee.
>>7951499
>Sees eel
. . .
Hey, buddy.

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>>7951499
you
get up
no piece of mine shall lay on the ground
have you read the slab

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>>7951468
Yeah I'm not sure what we could do to help either

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>>7951499
STOP!

>sprints to the trashcans

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I'm at the pokemon center in Lilycove.
Is the trainer that wanted the Archen here?
>>7951511
Hello! You must be the guy I spoke to last night?

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>>7951443
I mean inside it!

>>7951462
Whaaat?
It was thirsty!

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>>7951511
HELP!
>Hide behind pipeman.
>>7951513
WHAT SLAB?
>>7951525
AAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>7951532
...What's inside it?
I know its scratching around so its not yolk.

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>>7951538
the tablet
in the sunken castle
unova
the dragon tooth ruins
the power you so sought

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>>7951527
>Puts on hat
Yeah, that's me. In the shitty beret of instant recognition.
>Takes off hat
Can I get some basic info on dietary needs, how energetic these guys are, whether they play nice with others or prefer to be alone?

>>7951538
I'm not getting involved here.

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>>7951462
>>7951443
>>7951423
>>7951498
>Egg doesn't reply much.
>Seems a tad colder after the water splash, though.

>...More scritching sounds come from the inside, but it quiets down after a bit.

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>>7951523
I need to stop looking at the news!

It makes me sad like i want to burn everything...

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>>7951538
There is a string of Crimes going on around here and YOU fit the description!

>stares like swords are coming from eyes.
Tell me what you know...

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>>7951570
Archen are really energetic and tend to vocalize a lot, whereas Archeops will change depending on how they're treated as an Archen. Straight raw meat or the basic carnivore dietary food works well for them. Archen play well with others but Archeops tend to get attached to a few people and not really like others.
>Hand him the pokeball.
If you have any questions I'm usually lurking the board thingy.

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>>7951597
>Give hair hat a soda
>Roll for if it's E:cherry Fanta or O:RC cola

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>>7951556
Oh!! Yes yes I did, what did it do again?
>>7951597
Uhhh... Nothing?

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>>7951577
Keeping up with the news is important though, don't want to become ignorant of the world's happenings.

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>>7951646
...
>squinting intensifies...

Ok then! Don't leave that trash can knocked over.

>leaves

>>7951627
Why thank you! I actually love RC cola... how did ya know?!

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>>7951668
Yes sir!
>Fix trashcan.
>Watch Beretman and Fossilfag.

>Roll to summon Axe elemental

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>>7951646
bolt strike
now i have a quest for you
in lilycove there is a politician
minor in office
but still in support of the unovan kill chips
he seeks to spread this idea to hoenn
make an example of him

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>>7951624
Excellent. I'll take good care of this fella, I promise.
>John smiles.
Catch you later, I'll keep you posted as to how he's doing.
>He lets Archen out of the Pokeball to get acquainted with him.
Hey, buddy. How are you, huh?
I'm gonna take care of you, alright?
>Pokeball goes into locked case once Archen's out.

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>>7951474
Indeed, uncomfortably so even for someone not with a preference for Ice types.

>>7951511
Huh, when did you... nevermind, Going there. I need to feel the ground again.

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>>7951668
Magic.
>Has done his good deed for the day.
>Ollies outie

Nothing beats naked cuddleing with your favorite Feraligatr while you watch shitty TV shows

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>>7951711
YOU FAILED. NOW LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THE ODOR BLOCKING POWER OF OLDSPICE.

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>>7951666
I think i do...
Learning sucks!

>>7951740
Why do humans wear clothes anyway?

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>>7951576
Get me a warm blanket for the egg, eh.
Going to get the boss now, he's being slow heh

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>>7951742
>blushing spinda noises.
W-would you like a drink?

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>>7951759
modesty I think?
>>7951740
Are you that guy who sucks off his water reptile?

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>>7951718
>The Archen chirps and squawks.
Oh, they can have a bit of a weak immune system. Easiest way to tell is if they start shedding feathers randomly or they turn less of an orange color.
>Cradilyfag fishes a bottle of pills out of his pocket.
These are immune system supplements, one a week to month is usually good, it's immune system will get stronger but it's been recently revived so treat it like you'd treat a newborn human.
I'll get going now, okay?
>Fug off.

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>>7951742
Is it true that Old Spice bodywash and deodorant blocks odors for 24 hours?

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>>7951742
Please...

Go on.

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>>7951759
Because I lack a fur coat to keep me warm.
>>7951783
.... Also because I do not wish the entire world to see my scars.

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>>7951713
Understood! I'll get on it now.
>Bolt Strike get.
>Find that Politician.

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>>7951796
YES
>>7951799
>>7951764
I CAN'T. GOTTA GO AND TELL THESE OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT THE ODOR BLOCKING POWERS OF OLD SPICE.
>THROUGH THE ROOF

>>7951759
To keep warm mostly
But I have my Feraligatr to keep me warm at home so I don't bother when I am by myself
>>7951783
We dont just suck each other off
Right now i am dexposting while he is half asleap on me while frotting each other

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>>7951783
sucks what off?

>>7951805
I yeah I guess... I take mine for granted i think sometimes.

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>>7951786
>Scarf Magnezone is pretty fucking fast. And this time, I didn't fall off
>Arrive to the cafe
>See your typical archaeologist and what seems to be a troop of Cradily

>>7951806
>And also a really shifty eel

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>>7951838
...Those muscles.
>sighs.
Silly girl, you won't get a hunk like that anytime soon.
>Sips dizzy juice.

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>>7951786
>John smiles and smooths Archen feathers a bit.
Alright, little fella. Let's get you some food and something to wash down this medicine with, and then we can meet some new friends, OK?
>Slightly Confused Protobirb Noises