ITT: Pokemon are real. Who's your favorite pokegod?

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>>7802018
me

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>>7801999
Fuck you you doppelganger fuck
I have finally tracked you down

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>>7802045
...????

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>>7801949
..... Ist das ein "Ja?
>>7801984
>He drags his thumb across his throat and sticks his tongue out
>>7801987
....... Du versuchtest.
>Order some expensive ass pizza online because why not
>>7802045
Fuck off. Blaziken? Stein Kante?

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>>7802018
Antlerman.

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>>7802045
... dude. People got duplicated. Go have gay sex with Blueser the Lardizard.

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>>7801999
...
>>7802065
... ...?
>wait for that sweet 'za

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>>7801997
sounds cool, well i'm on a vacation in orre i was passing most of my days in gateon, and i was dating a nice guy, i think we should have a relashiotionship i wouldn't mind being his girlfriend, but well i'm lost right now and i will only get back tomorrow
i hope he doesn't think that i dumped him i even sent him an email saing where i am, but he didn't respond yet

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>>7802091
....

it's from all the pussy I've been eating. turns out it has a lot of calories.

>>7802109
>kissu

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>>7802117
Are you sure it's not the disappoint of fans? Because I've heard you don't even know how to work that new mouth, just like you don't know how to work those new fingers.
Can you even reach your dick anymore?

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>>7802091
I fucking know, thats why I have spent the last month trying to track down my doppelganger
>>7802063
FUCK YOU, I WANT ME LIFE BACK

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>>7802147
s-shut up i'm having trouble adjusting...

>cries

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>>7802159
......!

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>>7802159
>>7802045
Interesting...

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>>7802129
...
>>7802159
>>7802178
...?
>grab squirtgun

Hey is Jirachi around? I'd like to make a wish if possible.

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>>7802114
Sounds nice, I hope it works out for you two.
Who knows, maybe he'll get lost in the desert and find his way here too.
>Sandslash lets out a long yawn
...Well, it was nice meeting you, make yourself at home inside the ship.
I'm going to head off to bed.
>Sandslash walks off into the captain's quarters and locks the door behind him

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>>7802223
well i'll go stargazing a bit
have a good night

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>>7802159
Ich wette, Sie können mich nicht einmal schlagen. Warum würdest du Rot schlagen können?
>>7802117
Noch ein Verlierer.
>>7802109
>Ding ding that's the door dude

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>>7802185
FU-
>>7802147
FUCK YOU INSTEAD
>>7802178
You allright

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>>7802178
You know what's funny? People like fake Ditto you more than real you. I just started "Where in the World is Blue" and.... Ha. Nobody cares about 'Zard Blue when "Real" Blue is still around.
>>7802249
Are you offering?

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>>7802249
.......!!!

>>7802147
Speaking of fans, the "operation", is going to begin soon. I guess all preparations are finished bu the special video.

>>7802220
Record your wish after the beep
>BEEEEEEEEEEEEP

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>>7802220
He miiiight be.
What's your wish about little dude?

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>>7802249
>>7802258
>cries

I-i don't need this!
>flies away.

>>7802274
>>7802276
I found this really old tome that mentions something about Mystery Dungeons and they sound pretty neat so I was wondering if they could like um make them real or something if that wasn't too much trouble or anything.

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>>7802237
>pizza time is a good time
>get 'za
>pay
>bring it back
...
>eat

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>>7802274
.... I sent the video in. Did the Pelipper get lost? Damn. Okay, how about this
>uploaded wheresblue.mp4
>>7802292
Awwww come on. Wimping out? You'll never be champ again with that attitude. No wonder people like me more - I can only guess how much of a wimp you are in bed. Smell ya later, Lardizard.

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>>7802274
(oops)

>>7802258
Nevermind, that's even better.
Let's get this thing circulating.
>Intro video uploaded
>Announcements released
>A series of cameras worldwide go online
>The stream is on

>>7802317
>made someone leave
fuck off faggot

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>>7802258
FUCK YOU, YOU MADE BLUE CRY
>>7802292
Wait for me, dont listen to that faggot
>Follows (but feel free to not respond or anything, I don't want to be forceing you to use a character if you don't want)

>>7802337
>>7802346
(still here i have other characters. playing bluezard is difficult lol. I'll bring him back once i know what to do. probably soonish.

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>>7802298
Define "Mystery dungeon".

>>7802317
Actually a few bees carried it here in the last minutes. Guess the Pelipper did get lost.

>>7802292
Did something happen because you seem a lot less angry than the usual.

>>7802346
And you're even more insufferable when able to talk.

>>7802432
Uh well the book is pretty beaten up but it says they're areas in the world that seem to change up their formation every time you enter them.

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>>7802298
That isn't really within Jijis power, sooooo I took it up with the council of daddery.
We have found this wish acceptable.
>Doot of godly magic doing.
>And thus, multiple entrances to mystical dungeons, which shift and change for every soul that enters, open all across the world.
Have fuuuun, my man.

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hey has anyone seen my sedra
im kinda wworried

>>7802466
REEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>7802466
>roll to stab

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>Dave is calmed down enough to speak English again
>>7802292
>>7802346
well
bye pebble bait
>>7802266
reeeeeeed
partpy man
.... i think this is a party anyway
>text him the address
>>7802315
>Eat pizza
dude pizza sounds fucking we-
>>7802466
>GIRLY SHRIEKING
WHAT THE FUCK

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>cosplay anon watches as a Fat Mega Charizard X flies over him
Cool
>Takes another drink from his Booze

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>>7802481
wwhat
>>7802484
oh fuckin hell
wwoww
>die

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>>7802464
Thanks spooky dad, I'll get to hunting then.

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>>7802497
...
>eat a pizza splice
>>7802499
>dismember him

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>>7802462
Sounds like Palkia or Dialga's area of expertise and I don't think they would app...

>>7802464
ruh
roh

>>7802466
>>7802499
I'm fairly sure you don't belong in this dimension.

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>>7802515
you knoww this reminds me of somethin
wwhatevver
>wworst troll out

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>>7802515
dude
tripping fucking sucks
pizza sounds like the mario theme
>Eat more anyway
but yeah like
is that body just gonna sit here or

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>>7802537
...
>>7802685
...? ...
>dump corpse in the trash
>mop up purple blood
>chill on the couch

>>7802685
>>7802709
>punch buttholes

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>>7802753
>fists vigorously

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>>7802753
>Roll to impale anon on the Aegislash
>>7802709
>Flop back on the couch
okay dude
curiosity has me
you got a team?

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>>7802753
...
>>7802772
...?
>show him dex thingy
>read: richard (blaziken), rasmus (decidueye), tony (incineroar), dennis (lycanroc), carl (scizor), aubrey (emboar)
>tell him you have a few more
>by showing him your box on the pokedex
>shrug

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>adri looks at the stars
well, i hope he doesn't think i dumped him, i even left all my stuff in the hotel room, please i hope he doesn't misunderstand

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>>7802916
sweet
dude
you tried the gym circuit yet?
chicken fucks up most gyms
got a fair chance at champship

>>7802916
>>7803029
>roll to pick lock

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>>7803029
...! ... ... ...?
>shake head
...?
>>7803164
...

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>>7803164
>Roll to slap

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i just saved a wild durant that was heavily damaged from an attack of a hord of heatmors in my house i it was severely damaged but i was able to get to a to the pokemon center, it is in operation right now and apperently but it will take a long time for the opeartion to finish, i can't sleep and i'll wait for it to end
someone cheer me up a bit, i'm way to worried for that poor durant, i hope it's fine

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>>7803247
Steel pokemon are the devil

>>7803230
>roll to sneak in

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>>7803321
>grab richter mask
>grab uzi from under couch
>point it at sneaky mcshitface

>>7803339
>NEVERMIND ROLL TO RUN

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>>7803315
...

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>>7803164
>>7803321
>>7803354
>Perception check
>>7803230
well i mean
im the kanto-johto champ so like
gotta try somewhere else if you wanna win
planning on running hoenn at some point
you can come if you want
might drag red and ruby with me
turn this into a giant party
>>7803315
gigi is a dragon/ghost though
cumberchu is a ghost/dark
ghosts are the devil dude

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>>7803354
...
>walk out after him
>aim
>fire
>>7803364
>shrug
>nod
...

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>>7803363
DEVIL
E
V
I
L

>>7803374
>oh god that went through my chest
>roll to crawl away

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>>7803376
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SEND YOU TO MEET THE ACTUAL DEVIL?
I'M CERTAIN HE DOESN'T APPRECIATE YOU GIVING THE CREDIT TO RANDOM STEEL TYPES

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>>7803394
n-no

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>>7803391
>drag him back inside
>shut the door
>break his legs

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>>7803315
>>7803376
but why would you think that, i heard that durants are pretty peacful when you don't invade their territory
but that durant looked terrefied, and it couldn't even move since it's legs were broken, i hope it survives, heatmors sure are cruel

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>>7803394
>cosplay anon drops his Booze bottle
Holy shit is that palkia

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>>7803447
you dumb motherfucker

>>7803416
Oh god please don't kill me

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>>7803456
>cosplay anon was in the middle of picking up his booze bottle when he drops it again
Dialga as well?, holy shit

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>>7803416
>wince a little
shit
sounds like it hurt
uh
hows he going out?
>>7803465
f

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>>7803447
>>7803495
>breathing can be heard
>nothing is there

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>>7803495
dipshit im palkia
>>7803504
.......
>silently retreat and leave egg to his fate

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>>7803465
>hit him in the ribs
>>7803500
>shrug
...?
...!
>make grabby hands at his aegislash

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>>7803504
>cosplay anon is too drunk to panic
>he smashes the end of his bottle ready to Glass a fucker and looks around for whatever is making that demonic breathing

>>7803500
Please please make him stop
please
>>7803550
OW OH GOD
arceus please it hurts

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>>7803569
>Watching the moron get murdered through the window
Nice.

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>>7803515
...
>>7803564
kkkkkkrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaarrr

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>>7803550
yeah sure dude
>5'8 118lb sword
hes fucking heavy man so
>hand over the sword
>>7803569
dude
i met the guy like
yesterday
and this is his house
your sol man
have an F

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>>7803626
...!
>sord get
>>7803569
>roll for disembowlment

>>7803626
please
>>7803663
Oh god

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>>7803680
>damn im off balance today
>roll again for disembowlment

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>>7803620
>Cosplay anon swings the broken bottle around in the air in an attempt to Glass whatever the fuck is stalking him
come out and show yourself

>>7803700
OH ARCEUS WHY
FUCK
>>7803626
HELP ME

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>>7803700
>>7803680

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>>7803663
told ya it was heavy dude
>>7803680
what the actual fuck do you want me to d-
>>7803700
>splatted on the face
>thats stomach bile
>his trip just got worse
>>7803739
oh mew you taste horri
>roll not to be sick

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>>7803739
>grab the drill
>drill an eye out
>>7803763
...?
>>7803766
>grab dave a towel

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>>7803707
lllllLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLRRRRRR

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>>7803700
>>7803739
>>7803795

>>7803766
PLEASE HELP
>>7803795
THAT WAS MY MOUTH
>>7803828
HELP ME DOGGO

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>>7803795
>>7803766

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>>7803834

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>>7803819
SHOW YOURSELF
>Cosplay anon Swings broken bottle around some more in the direction of the sounds
>>7803795
>>7803766
>Drunken yelling can be heard coming from Cosplay anon outside

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>>7803819
>whispers "hugs"

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>>7803795
Absolutely brutal.

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>>7803795
>Get hit in the face with it
>this is probably the worst thing to watch while tripping
yeah im gonna
>>7803834
im sorry i ca
>run off to bathroom

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>>7803834
...?
>>7803915
...
>fuck
>>7803834
>drill into his temple

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the nurse said the durant's condition stabalized, and the the she, yes apperently it's a she, was going to get better as long as she rests
she said the i should keep her and because she isn't going to get fully healed as soon and releasing her on the wild she will be too dangerous, i have my trainer license but, i never had a pokemon before any tips on how to take care of a injured pokemon?

>>7803915
>>7803931
>Sneakyanon is dead for fucks sake jesus

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>>7803863
>passes a rootbeer.

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>>7803961

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What the actual fuck is going on here.

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Do any of you lovely people know where the nearest book store is?

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>>7804013
Brutal torture and murder.
>Hand the salt golem popcorn

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>>7804064
wat

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>>7804064
yeah it's-

>>7804072
oh thanks I love this stuff....

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>>7804064
What the fuckin' hell?

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>>7804109
>>7804117
>>7804167
Crawling out of the distortion world takes a long time. Especially for an old woman like me.
I'm looking for a cookbook, since I lost the one I had.

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>the spooky demonic noise seems to have stopped
Guess it was just my imagination
>drops Broken bottle
>Cosplay anon Goes to buy another Bottle of Booze

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>>7804201
>hands a "how to cook poochyena without sodium" cookbook.

personal favorite.

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>>7803931
>Stick head out bathroom door
bro
just curious
but why the fuck dont you have a toilet
im mean
i dont need it
but what the hell

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>>7804227
......

why

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>>7803961
>light up a smoke
>>7804064
>>7804201
...

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>>7804013
>>7804012
>>7804215
>>7804246
>>7804241
>Sneak up behind everyone and hug them

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>>7804280

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>>7804280
>GIRLY SCREAMING
WHAT THE FUCK

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>>7804280
AAAAAHHHH
>smash new bottle over IT with the force of a thousand Bottles

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>>7804241
...?
>well i d-
>>7804280
wh...?
>kill it

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>>7804280
....
>accepts fate

You know you still owe my 20 bucks for kicking your ass at connect four.

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>>7803953
hello? anybody?
also the nurse said that i should be her trainer, i said that i didn't have any pokeballs and gave me one, but i don't know if i should, i will take care of her and i'll let her decide if she wants to stay with me or not

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>walks in sipping a soda

......

>walks back out.

>>7804333
Go for it

>>7804310
Ru-
>He gets sent back to the Distortion World
>>7804311
>But before he does 20 Sawsbuck land on Gengy

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>>7803953
>>7804333
Yeah if you want a pet go for it. Humans love pets. Who cares what the durant thinks.

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>>7804367
>Jumps On Zoros back
morning Shunshine

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>>7804401
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssttttttttt
>taints shiny's soul

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>>7804350
well i'll bring her home until she gets better and let her decide what she thinks
>>7804367
but it is known that pokemon are as smart as humans, why do anything against her will?

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>>7804401
Good morning! What have you been doing?

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>>7804334
hey ruby
wanna join in on this party?
i can buy more pizza
>>7804310
>Flop down on the couch and polish sord
well
that was fucking horrible
0/10 would not hug again

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>>7804417
REMOVE YOURSELF FOUL BEAST

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>>7804427
Humans do not think so.

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>>7804443
Yeah sure. I'm starving.

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>>7804443
>flop on couch
>nod in agreement
>>7804461
...?

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>>7804461
I hope you don't plan on drinking, Ruby.

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>>7804417
>odds
>good job, your 'soul taint' made Shiny eternally horny
>except it was already horny all the time so nothing changes
>>7804435
I spent the night with Regice, it is always a good fuck
Wish he could come down here more often though. but the heat is dangerous to him

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>>7804452
well, i am human, so not all humans are like that, but i'm not a guy who likes battles anyway, so we'll see what happens when i get home
>carrying the bandaged buggo to her new, temporary, home

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>>7804476
.... What're you lookin' at?

>>7804483
Drinking what? I just have a nice rootbeer here.

>kicks feet up on corpse.

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>>7804491
Regice sounds like a cool guy. How do you travel so much?

>>7804493
Yeah whatever you believe.

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>>7804476
pick a movie while i order this pizza dude
>Whip out the credit card and begin ordering that shit
>>7804509
yo ruby
got a kind of pizza you want

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>>7804509
Yes, well.... Grimsley and I are only an island over, so I hope it stays just soda.

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>>7804491
How can you stand to lay with something so cold? I need to know for... reasons.

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>>7804509
... ...
>>7804563
>put on some shitty scifi movie
>>7804581
...
>who are all these people

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>>7804509
Bibbity bobbity boo, turn that beer into booze.
>Roll for miracle of alcohol

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>>7804563
Pineapple and mushroom!

>>7804581
Yeah yeah. if your implying alcohol i won't. Alcohol sucks. wait. what are ya doing over here?

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>>7804609
Darn.

>>7804629
Dude that's a nasty ass pizza

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>>7804555
the promise of a fuck is all it takes to get me anywhere
>>7804588
Its all a matter of determination and knowing the right techniques

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>>7804555
but don't worry i won't hurt her, i'll keep her safe, until she she's all recovered, the nurse said that she will wake up soon, so i'll see what happens
now that i'm home i'll go look up the best ways to help a durant recover

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>>7804629
I'm on a date with Grimsley over in Poni Island!
It's tempting to go do the Island Challenge to get some of those nifty crystals...

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>>7804629
right
you can have your own quarantine pizza
>>7804600
hey chicken-chan
say hi to ruby >>7804629 , the former hoenn champ
current trainer of rayquaza
and uh
i think that this guy >>7804581 over in poni is fucking
steven stone
the current hoenn champ
.... dude what movie is this
sharpenado?

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>>7804651
Why do you keep calling it a fuck? It sounds not good to me... Is that how you view it?

>>7804661
I know you will. Humans do not like to see their pets get hurt.

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>>7804555
I'm pretty sure you were involved with a boat incident that happened a few days ago. After all, a bunch of pokemon that match your group was seen scurrying away after.

Either way let me ask you a thing: did you see something there that explains your recent lack of trust in humanity?

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>>7804748
Zorro is everything alright?

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>>7804662
Sounds like things are working out! I am happy for ya!

As for those crystals you totally should! They are sweet!

>>7804725
alright! You guys don't like that pizza or something?

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also one question, what durants like to eat?
or any kind of advice really i'm pretty nervous she's the first pokemon i ever take care of, even if i had a license since i was a kid i didn't want to be one

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>>7804725
>>7804806
...

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>>7804758
a boat? I do not know what you are talking about. Humans just like to take advantage of things.

>>7804777
Yes. everything is fine.

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>>7804748
I call it a fuck because it is short for 'fucking Great Sex'
Though in other news if you see any Arcanines looking for me, don't tell them where I am, I found out earlier that I am going to have another kid wandering around the world soon and also that I am a grandfather

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>>7804872
kill them zorro
kill them all

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>>7804842
tada
two of the worlds best trainers
chilling and eating pizza in your own home
pretty sure you have a higher kill count tho
>>7804806
i mean
dunno about chicken chan
but fucking
pineapple
its the reason i have trust issues
it has apple in its name
but its fucking nothing like apple
they taste like lies and deceit

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BREAKING NEWS

6 PEOPLE WERE FOUND DEAD AT TIDE SONG HOTEL

1 WOMAN, 1 MAN AND 4 SECURITY GUARDS BRUTALITY AXE KILLED

ITS RUMORED TO BE THE SINNOH AXE KILLER FROM 6 YEARS AGO WHO WAS NEVER CAUGHT, REASON AUTHORITIES BELIVE THIS AS HIS CALLING CARD WAS LEFT BEHIND

HE ALSO LEFT BEHIND A MESSAGE FOR SOME UNKNOWN ALLIS
"I want to meet you, I'm not going to kill you, I just wish to talk to someone who knows killing as much as I do. Long story short, I'm bored and I want an assassination partner or idk just someone too hang with. I'll be meeting you soon..."

MORE AT 7

MORE AT 7

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>>7804872
It doesn't seem that way to me, you know you can talk to me if something is bothering you.

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>>7804893
................. I hope you aren't implying what I'm presuming you are.

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>>7804872
A Steelix, a Sylveon, a Glaceon running away at the same time, five minutes later a Ninetales and the smouldering husk of a boat. Boat registered at Gateon Port, no survivors and more importantly... no charges for anyone involved.
You seem to know a thing, do you?

>>7804896
why is that kid barefoot on the sidewalk
that's not a good idea

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>>7804929
scary

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>>7804938
Fine then, I won't tell you that you would be right
but in my defence I didn't know who it was when we did it

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>>7804906
...
>sip drink
>>7804929
>really wonder who keeps spelling alola as aloha
>what kind of word is aloha
>stupid

>>7804985
(I forget the spelling, cause I'm a fag)

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>>7804938
>>7804983
>Unfortunately, this is eventually interrupted by the stirrings of a vee

...Mrrrh. My head hurts...

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>>7804929
Don't you have a fallout rp to shit up

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>>7804935
I do not think you would understand. Also I do not know how to talk about it...

>>7804941
.....
That could have been any ninetails. How am I supposed to know flesh was THAT flammable?

>>7804929
neat.

>>7804896
....I wonder...

>>7804893
Congratulations! I hate arcanine so do not worry.

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>>7804985
spill the beans man
whats your number
i think i got like
sixty
and ruby has
idk
fifty?

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>>7805019
Try me

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>>7805019
>A vee climbs out of bed and snuggles up to the warm fox.

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>>7805002
(k)
>>7805031
...
>shrug
>keep drinking

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>>7805019
I've only mentioned a boat, never said anything about the crew. Not like anybody will miss them, though most were burned to ashes, a few teeth and other stuff that didn't burn identified a fair share of them as criminals and poachers with a warrant in most regions.

Either way, you certainly do know something.

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>>7805031
who's keeping score?

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>>7805038
hey sleepy head, how're you feeling?

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>>7805035
I have bad thoughts and I can not keep them away. I told you you would not get it...

>>7805038
>snuggles

thanks I feel a little bit better i think.

>>7805091
What do you want then? I will admit nothing.

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>>7805154
>The snuggles continue.
>>7805147
Like I was put through a meat grinder... nngh. But better than I was...
>If either one saw her while she was walking from the bed to Ninetales, she now has a bit of a limp.

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>>7805112
me
probably you
who knows man
>>7805067
aww
ok
ill just be curious forever
... the fuck are you drinking
is that the murder booze from that bar?

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>>7805154
You don't have to admit to anything. I just want to know what got to you recently, and I suspect you saw something terrible.

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>>7805154
The only way to make sense of bad thoughts is to talk them out.
>>7805167
>hugs
Well that's good you're feeling better at least.

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>>7805154
>>7805221
...What sort of bad thoughts...?

>>7805221
>Cocoa returns the hugs, smiling softly.

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>>7805112
...?
>>7805198
... ...?
>nod
>offer him some

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>>7804823
Durants are easy. They will eat just about anything as they are scavengers.

I'm sure you'll do fine.

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>>7805198
what is this a contest? I'll win for sure.

>>7805251
Oh yeah? How about no?

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she woke up!
uh what do i do?
she's staring at me curiously?
>>7805260
okay thank i think i'll give a berry to her
>hand out a berry to the curious durant

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>>7805272

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>>7805219
Was not just the boat. though i did see some things there. I can not sleep at night anymore.

>>7805242
Ones i am ashamed of having...
>looks down and cannot make eye contact

>>7805221
I have thoughts of burning humans. I smile as I watch them in agony.

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FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW, HE IS LIKED TO MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS OF MURDER AGAINST ABUSIVE TRAINERS, DRUG ABUSERS, HIGH RANKING OFFICIALS AND REMNANTS OF TEAM GALACTIC AND ROCKET

SOME SAY HE IS A HERO OTHERS WANT HIM DEAD, BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE HE WON'T STOP

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>>7805319
Even Frankie?

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>>7805272
nahhhh ruby youre already behind man
>>7805251
almost died last time
but fuck it
>take a swig and pass it back
>>7805308
whaaaat
holy shit
i just got btfo

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>>7805308
welp.
I can't out edge that score.

>>7805337
Well I don't go out of my way. People are just too fragile I guess.

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>>7805328
>Cocoa reaches over and turns off the movie
>Because literally no news station worth their salt would ever call a mass murderer a hero, thus it's a cheesy movie

>>7805319
That's horrible... why...?

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>>7805272
...
>>7805308
>dude come on
>>7805337
>take another sip
>lay back

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>>7805319
Let it all out, it can't be healthy if it's giving you these thoughts.

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>>7805335
They are faceless.
I am so confused.

>>7805360
do not know.

>>7805382
It is just that human and pokemon relations...
I do not want to talk about it. I am a dumb pokemon after all.

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>>7805328

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>>7805300
>the durant seemed to enjoy the berry a lot
>i looks less wary and a bit more friendly
>but is still curious
so what do i do now?
she seems happy, shoud i do anything?

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>>7805403
Oh Zorro...
>embrace the fox

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>>7805427
I recommend putting it in your backyard before it digs a hole through your floor. They can chew through just about anything.

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>>7805352
"you dont go out of your way"
you say as you have your dragon eat people
>>7805328
>>7805370
>sniiiiiiiiiff
hey hear that chicken chan?
thats the sound of bullshit
.......
wait
>flop back and rest your feet on his lap
i fucked up
rip

>>7805328
OK, someone fire Samantha she clearly doesn't realize the sinnoh Axe killer needed to be jailed, he was a madman. why the FUCK would he be a hero, Samantha fuck off, you're fired

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>>7805403
>Cocoa blinks, the fox's words scaring her... deeply.
...Zorro...? Are you feeling okay...?

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>>7805328
>Hero
... Excuse me while I buy out this company just to make sure they never air blatant bullshit again.

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>>7805447
What do you want me to do?
It's a 35' DRAGON.
Plus he's hungry a lot and food is expensive these days.

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>>7805448

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>>7805445
>hugs back
I am sorry.

>>7805461
Absolutely. I do not want to hurt anymore...

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>>7805446
well, she's a bit hurt and the nurse recommended that i shouldn't bring her outside until she fully heals from her damage so i will take care of that, but she said that it will only take untill the weekend until she better but i will have to do another check up friday
well, i think she likes me
>put hand near the durant
>even goes towards it and ask to be petted
>odds is still afraid

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>>7805448
BREAKING NEWS

PHILS SALTY CAUSE HIS BROTHERS DICK WAS WAYYY BETTER

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>>7805549
Alright then. I hope your insurance covers durant damage.

Durants love food though. Try to give her a lot of berries. She will most likely try to stock them for later.

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>>7805558
...........
>Work on buying out this channel faster

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>>7805549
>she backs away from his hand
sorry, sorry i didn't mean to scare you
okay i'll give you another berry

>>7805558
I didn't know your name was Phil.
You learn something new every day.

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>>7805558
ALMIAAAAAAAAAAAA
>Release two Liepard into the news station

>>7805328
Oh... There over exaggerating my numbers again. It's 33 people, not fucking over 80, buncha retards... and calling me a hero is also retarded

>Pets his Lurantis
Your so sweet, but I'm no hero that's for sure

Just a fucking phyco

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>>7805563
yeah, she seems to really enjoy berries, maybe i'll stock on more, thank you, brock
>>7805570
but i guess you don't want to be touched yet
>durant hapily eats the berry
well, i'm relieved that you are safe, though

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>>7805633
OH FUCK
>Run from angry Liepard

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>>7805607
I do not want to talk. You are a good human.
I am going to try to get some sleep though.

>roll for positive dreams

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>>7805492
dude hes a fucking space dragon
what the fuck did he eat before you caught him
martians?

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>>7805676
>worried vee noises

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>>7805531
You don't have to apologize I'm just worried about you. You said it wasn't just the boat you saw that's causing you to feel this way, what else happened?

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>>7805645
Looks like I have a murderer to catch.

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>>7805568
>>7805571
>>7805607
>>7805633
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>7805645
>>7805712
Dude I'm getting him first.

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>>7805681
hmmm.... I never really thought about it. He likes pizza to though!

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>>7805741
Well. If someone else is already on it...
>Sigh and lay back down on the bed

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>>7805779
Sure hope they have phonehom in Alola.
See ya, lettuce.

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>>7805741
Hey, helmet hair. Do you usually ask someone a question and then disappear?

>>7805741
Hey I'm not going to hurt anyone, who doesn't deserve it anyway. So just leave me be? Ok? But if you need an extra gun or Axe by your side... ask the jacket fellow for my number, he should have it... or not, I don't know

>>7805796
hey spookybones how thicc is ur bone lel

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>>7805676
Well, hope you snap out of bad mood. Sleep well.

>>7805724
>popcorn munching at incredibly hihg speed

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>>7805822
..I don't have any measuring tape handy or I would tell you, sorry.
Why do you ask?

>>7805840
J-just curious...

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>>7805796
Usually, yeah. I was pretty trashed last night. What'd I ask you?
>>7805808
So... If I got your number and wanted my grandma whacked, would you do it?

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>>7805742
what the hell
do you just fucking raid pizza places
hey bitches im ruby this is my dragon
fork over the pizza

>>7805853
Sure, also the first ones free. Now if you want more than one... I'm willing to talk prices or other forms of payment... not sex dammit

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>>7805848
It's a little thicker than my arm, if that's good enough for you.

>>7805853
Something about liking motorcycles? And you called me babe, I think.
The answer was yes, by the way.

>>7805895
Oh my~

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>>7805882
>First one's free
>Payment
Yes, I can see that you are incredibly moral in your kills. I'll give you five days.

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Alright so I think I found one of these dungeons but there's some sort of invisible barrier blocking my entry, anybody have a clue what's up with that?

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>>7805882
BUT MY GRANDMA DOESNT DESERVE TO DIE
Probably. I mean she's a bitch, but not a "deserves to die" bitch. Your morals are more fucked than Jacket's dead girlfriend.
>>7805895
Oh. Sorry, I was probably piss drunk. You're pretty cute, though.

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>>7805910
Yeah, it's pretty nice.
Good for whacking people.

>>7805961
Nah, it's fine. And uh, thanks.

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>>7806020
Oh

>>7805932
>>7805961
Hey don't judge me, I'm half drunk and my Luranits is sleeping on my lap

But I honestly wouldn't kill an old woman, time is already there greatest threat and I'd most likely just say she's dead and move her to a retirement home that ain't shit, and give her some money..... fuck off that's how I deal with ""Targets"" who aren't bad people

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well, i make a small bed for her on the floor and laid on mine she just crawled on my bed and decided to sleep on top of me, she's snoozing on my chest, it's kinda cute, but well she's a bit heavy, i guess i'll have to let her sleep with me today

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>>7806111
Sure, you obviously don't give your clients stone cold proof of a job well done. That's why you get enough business to let the first one be free.

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>>7806072
..Did I say something weird?

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>>7806020
Here's a tip. Don't fuck with Jacket.
>>7806111
Ok so I kill without discretion. Like, I don't give a shit, it's fun.
But how the FUCK do you know who you're killing? I could say little Joey down the street is feeding his Rattata bleach and little Joey is totally fine.

You'd murder that kid in a heartbeat.

arceus fuck im too drunk for this shit
arceus either fuckin smite this guy or give me the power to do it myself

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>>7806177
NO!

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>>7806181
>don't fuck with jacket
this sounds like shit advice man