Thread replies: 304
Thread images: 248
Thread images: 248
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ITT: Pokemon are real.
Who have you punched today?
Info: http://pastebin.com/3niQbt3i
>>
gay
>>
>>7791217
tru
>>
>>7791201
only myself
>>
>>7791171
You're soooo cute.
>Bite him harder.
Hhh mm fuck.
>Dig fingers in harder.
-Stitches
>>
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>>7791201
My big bro, for, like, making too many short jokes.
Not, like, hard. Just playin' around.
>>
>>7791188
>Stripping in front of Dave "I wear shades so I can subtly check people out" Gropius
>It was already gay
>He's oggling though
>That's his thing
shit dude
and i thought i had a scar collection
you take the cake man
its your cake now
gg no re
>>
>ROLL TO SUMMON HONHON
>>
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>>7791304
...~
>grab knife
>big bad wolf can help you with those if you want
>>7791383
>wheres my phil mask
>>
>>7791383
Why? I was in the middle of preparing mountain lion brisket, you better have a good reason for summoning me.
>>
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There's police sirens all throughout Hau'Oli City right now, and it's not my fault this time!
Damn, it feels good to know I'm not the cause of the alarm for once.
Anyone know what happened and how I missed the party?
>>
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>>7791254
>Bones has turned into jiggly jello in your arms.
>And has started moaning into your neck as he nibbles on it.
S-Stiiiitch~.
>>
>>7791451
Tasty corpses over here in Alola dude
>>
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>dig under bed
>>7791451
je ne peux pas parler français
>>7791462
j'ai baisé des mecs
>>
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>>7791201
Punched some Starlys and a Burmy.
Punched them good.
>>
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>>7791451
I WISH TO MAKE A RESERVATION FOR TUESDAY AFTERNOON FOR A PARTY OF SIX.
I ALSO WISH TO ASK IF YOU KNEW A CHEF BY THE NAME OF PHILIPPE MARSHALL.
SAID INDIVIDUAL FANCIED HIMSELF A CULINARY PIONEER UNTIL THIS EVENING.
>>
>>7791440
>That's a knife
>Definitely a knife
ohhhh uh
knife
whats the knife for
>>7791499
wut
>>
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>>7791476
>Kiss the husbando neck.
>Bite it hard.
Yessssss? Ffffuck, Booooness.
>>
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>>7791462
According to the news, a slaughter in a restaurant of sorts.
>>
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>>7791499
Sorry, my friend. I dropped out of Kalosian language arts.
>>7791549
Wow. I wonder what started that whole mess...
At least we got the Z-Rings before things went sideways, right?
>>7791510
Nice. Skirmish for prime pickings, or just a friendly tussle?
>>
>>7791477
I am not a cannibal.
>>7791499
Vous ne pouvez pas il est vrai. Aussi ... Vous avez baisé les gars? Bienvenue au côté gay.
>>7791514
I can not say I knew of him other than the occasional mention of his methods. I do not associate with those who cook humans or Pokemon.
>>
>>7791612
You have no power here, uncle Nintendo.
>>
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>>7791594
HE IS CURRENTLY VERY DEAD.
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HAPPY TO KNOW.
>>7791499
I OWE YOU A FAVOR FOR YOUR GOOD WORK.
>>
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>>7791586
Police has been real tight lipped about the deaths, pretty unusual.
For being the local big cheese Hala is a bit dopey but hey, free z-rings and nifty souvenir keychains.
>>7791510
Howzit, punchpupper.
>>
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>>7791527
... ...?
>wave it in his face
>>7791586
>>7791594
... ... ...
...?
>>7791661
>wait what
>like anything?
>>
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>>7791668
WITHIN REASON, BUT YES.
NO BRINGING BACK DEAD PEOPLE THOUGH, THAT'S NOT MY DOMAIN.
>>
>>7791668
>Calm down Dave
>He's not going to murder-shank you
>....probably
so uh
what is this like
the part were you shank me or something
you gonna stab me?
>>
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>>7791667
I know. Normally they'd at least say they have a suspect, or they're investigating a lead.
If they're this quiet, there's something they don't want to publicize so they don't scare people.
A lack of leads, I'd guess?
>>
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which pokemon have you fucked today?
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>>7791687
>this is pretty cool
>ill get back to you on it
>hypothetically could i get wolverine healing powers?
>>7791698
>push daves shirt up
>draw the blade across his stomach
>avoid slicing off the last of the dave-nipple clan
>if that guys still even around
>>
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>>7791545
Hhhh..
>Bonehead is just about fried
>Bite down sort of hard
>Muffled "I love you"s and panting
>>
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>>7791709
They barely mention the owner, chef and one of the deceased, a certain Phillipe Marshall. Never particularly cared about haute cuisine but he seems he was big in that scene.
>>
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>>7791586
Birds tried to pick on me when my shinx buddy wasn't around. Knock me off before the usual dinner clash. Endure's handy to know!
The Burmy was just a friendly fight when I went for a walk in the woods. Nice enough they didn't poison. Hate poison, hard enough to find Pecha berries this time of year.
>>7791667
I'm alright, sparky. You?
>>
>>7791740
None and that makes me sad
>>
>>7791743
woah hey what-
>The knife drags a gasp and a pained hiss out of him
>The left nipple is still around, thank you for your concern
>>
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>>7791743
Hmm... I think I could manage something.
It wouldn't be as rapid as my disciples tell me the character you've named exhibits, but fast healing's certainly within my area of influence..
>>
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>>7791768
>Cuddle the gay bonehead.
>Bite the husbonedo.
>Lewds: Go.
>Fade to black: Happen?
>>
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>>7791862
What is this bullshit, fading to black? I demand hardcore ghost fugs.
>>
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>>7791740
None, my team doesn't generally appeal in that particular manner.
>>7791813
Hunh. I've heard the name a few times, my boss was trying to figure out how to get into his invite-only high-roller club.
There were some rumors that he was part of some shady shit but I never found any confirmation.
>>7791821
Nice work. You sound pretty darn tough.
My little bro just got done with a tussle as well, versus a Mankey. It was pretty one-sided and not in the Mankey's favor.
>>
>>7791893
...Why must the only other member of my species to post here be like this?
>>
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>>7791839
...?
>damn he doesnt cry that bad
>pay the last warrior of the nipple clan a visit with the knife
>poke
>>7791847
>neat
>ill think on it
>that might be my choice
>any monkey paws here like "you cant pee while youre healing"
>or something
>>
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>>7791935
I didn't ask for this you slippery fuck. Besides, deep down you're just as lewd and perverse as me, look deep inside your heart and you'll know it to be true
>>
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>>7791962
...Well, yes, I might be lewd in private, but that's in private. In public is a different matter.
...And I do believe that how lewd you are in public is something you can control. Unless you meant something else I'm missing?
>>
>>7791940
>Groan a bit and attempt to push blade away from the widowed nipple
bro i need that
you ever tried staring someone down and erotically rubbing your nips with no nips?
shit doesnt work
>>
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>>7791940
I have three conditions, because this is a lasting effect.
First, this gift is not going to bring you back from the dead if something manages to kill you despite the regenerative effect.
Second, appendages need to be retrieved and held to their former positions to have any chance of being reattached.
Finally, and most importantly, this will not be rapid enough to rely on in combat for more than stabilization, and it may not always be comfortable. This is especially applicable in situations where the second limitation is relevant.
Is this still what you wish?
>>
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>>7791989
Kid how I act in public is mostly to get a rise out of people because that shit is funny, I don't know how you haven't realized that yet.
>>7792005
As if, pretty boy over here couldn't handle me. I'd turn his ass into a bowl of quivering seal soup.
>>
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>>7791821
Good, good, though "sparky" here is my companion, Jay.
Are you sure you enjoy more the wild life?
>>7791925
Rumors always have a nugget of truth, and maybe the police found that truth.
Good on Ray for making brain mush of that Mankey, simplifies life for me and my "lets hope we don't encounter a Fighting specialist ever again" team.
>>
>>7792030
>I'd turn his ass into a bowl of quivering seal soup.
I demand proof.
>>
>>7792005
...
I don't even know this guy, or where he lives. I'm not gonna go fuck him.
>>7792030
...Mrf.
-Chuckles
>>
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>>7792036
...Ghost Conversion.
>>
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>>7792036
Hey, he'll be fine!
...Once he's had some sleep.
In a day or two.
Anyway, I dunno if I wanna, like, go looking at what the cops found, bro. That sounds like a bad time.
>>
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>>7792053
Maybe one day anon, maybe one day.
>>7792054
Mrf? The hell does that mean?
>>
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>>7791998
...~
>leave the nip alone
>bandage him up
>turn on a shitty werewolf movie and eat some pizza
>>7792013
>maybe
>give me a little more time
>any way i could split this magical god healing power 50/50 between me and the one nipped angel here
>>
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>>7792087
That's quite generous of you.
That can be arranged.
>>7792053
GIVEN RECENT EVENTS I WOULD LIKE YOU TO RECONSIDER YOUR WORD CHOICE.
>>
>>7792036
Yeah!
Wouldn't want to be stuck inside a ball or an apartment all day. Can go where I please, fight what I can handle, lick the wounds of what I can't, and get stronger.
The only hard part is avoiding getting caught.
>>
>>7792086
...Nothing much.
...Anyways, something tells me you have a bit of a story. Judging from the way you've referred to me, you weren't always one of the Primarina line. Mind sharing that with us?
>>7792109
...What sort of recent events...? People aren't actually cooking up Pokemon, are they...?
>>
>>7792087
aw
was kinda curious to see where this was going
>Steal a slice and lay back on the couch, feet on chicken-chan's lap
>>
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>>7792063
Still need a backup plan in case you're out, and the plan is running far away. Or getting Claydol up and running.
>>7792124
Maybe you just need to find the correct trainer, but for you and your friend, it seems being wild is the better option.
>>
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>>7792140
REGRETFULLY SOMEONE WAS COMMITTING SUCH A HEINOUS ACT.
WAS.
HE IS DEAD NOW, AS ARE HIS SUBORDINATES.
>>
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>>7792140
Haha alright, so I was hecklin' the shortstack banette and it pissed him off enough he decided to attack me but he was either so bad or so unlucky all he managed to hit was air before Prim took him down. I went over to get my victory ass slap and then a goddamn wire tree monster comes out of nowhere and starts wrecking my apartment.
This guy too can't hit for shit so I take him down but I guess he called for backup or something because then a flying spaghetti monster pops in and absolutely wrecks Prim in one hit like I mean R E K T - it killed him. Had my sylveon take it out afterwards, I let my emotions get to me and almost killed the noodle monster but luck was in its favor and I missed somehow.
So now my apartment is blasted all to hell, Prim's body is growing colder by the minute and some crazy ghost chandelier offers me his life back, I gave the weird guy a life orb and suddenly I'm in Prim's body with him as a headm8.
>>
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>>7792109
>make it so deer god
>50/50 between me and the one nip wonder
>does this make me your warrior or something now
>>7792141
...? ...
>probably should wait a few days to know more about this guy before i do anything raunchy with him
>move time it is
>>
>>7792230
...Well, that sounds pretty shitty, honestly.
...What happened to your old body? Was it still there, or...?
>>7792226
>Primarina-flavored retching
>>
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>>7792261
my old body just sits there, its still warm to the touch which freaks me out but it hasn't decomposed or anything.
>>
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>>7792230
>PLAY: youvegotmail.wav
>TO: Pornarina
>SUBJECT: An important message
>BODY: ur a faget
>>
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>>7792281
>>
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>cosplay anon wakes up
>He has kinda sobered up and wondering why his hands are ziptied behind his back
...
Dammit not again?
>>
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>>7792257
I'll keep you in mind for any future endeavors, and invite you to assist in tracking down the "clientele" who delayed their judgment.
As it is, the remaining perpetrators known to me are outside of the Alola region, so rest and enjoy life for a while.
>>
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>>7792307
What about us deerman, did we not do a good enough job?
>>
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>>7792195
I'm thinking that this has been a great vacation. We even got souvenirs.
>>7792230
Wow, that's... That's a helluva story.
>>7792307
. . .
Can I get in on the righteous violence bandwagon? I can give you my resume.
>>
>>7792279
That... doesn't seem right.
...Uh, I don't know anything about that though, sorry...
>>
>>7792257
hey dude
want some popcorn
watch this
>He just lets Heatran out of the ball and sets a popcorn bag on his head
and now we wait
>>
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>>7792300
...! ...
>sit him up on the couch
>explain to him in a mute fashion that you zipped him so he wouldnt itch his godly healing wound
>>7792307
>i dont mind travelling
>but thanks bud
>see you whenever
>>7792340
...? ...?
>how long is this going to take
>>
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>>7792332
You performed admirably as well, my child.
The young Ninetales in your group has repaid his debt and more.
Shall I send a friend over with a token of my appreciation?
>>
>>7792230
>>7792335
>Tentacle monster
.... By any chance was it a blue-white and giggled a lot?
>>
>>7792349
shhhh just wait
....
>popcorn starts popping like some god damn Fourth of July fireworks
tada
popcorn
>>
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>>7792279
Yeah, normally I'd have sucked the rest of the life force out to make up for the life force I spent on resurrecting the Primarina's body, taking the Primarina's soul out of the path to the distortion world and putting it back in his body, and putting your soul in his body, but... you chased me off before I could do that. So even though I scored a Life Orb, I still got off at a net loss.
...And either way, it's a neat little experiment. There's enough life force in your old body to keep it going for a while, but no soul to pilot it, so it's essentially braindead... I kinda wanna see how long before it stops ticking.
>>
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>>7792353
That would be cool i guess but I was mostly wondering if you still needed our help? It had been far too long since I had to fight like that and it's sparked a burning desire to get stronger. Zorro refuses to spar with me though the amicable vaporeon would likely spar with me but the level disparity would prove annoying. The rests of the contenders are comatose half the time or are a much lower level than vapey.
>>
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>>7792349
thats pretty nice of you, the last 4 times I went out drinking by myself I woke up Ziptied in the trunk of a car for Glassing some redneck or his buddy.
>>
PAR help me out here
my lampent finally evolved and now its a chandelure and hes really really cuddly
help
he keeps pushing me into my bed and cuddling with me
>>
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>>7792230
If you had told me that story any other moment than the last two months I would have called it bullshit.
>>7792307
>oh fuck it's the big X
>try to not look nervous
>too late
>>7792335
As long we don't look in the general direction of Hau'oli's gastronomic district.
That said, I still have to go beatup a few rodents and take off with the Normalium. Will join in you in under an hour.
>roll for trying to ride Jay all the way to the trial
>>
>>7792440
fug the chandelier.
>>
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>>7792440
>>7792465
...Really?
>>
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>>7792337
>squints at you
You seem to know more than you're letting on missy.
>>7792358
Yes that's the one, teleported right in my face then venoshocked Prim to death.
>>7792400
I will send you to Giratana
>>7792440
He's trying to steal your essence, don't let it.
>>
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>>7792409
I have no pressing issues in Kanto which require immediate correction, though I could send a disciple and her comrades over to assist in training.
>>7792440
I would encourage you to be polite yet firm as to your personal boundaries.
>>7792475
Ah, are you the Chandelure in question?
>>
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>>7792445
>Zeta sighs softly at trainer's silliness, before attempting to carry him to the trial
>>
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>>7792388
...?
>popcorn is okay but im sticking to pizza
>watch the shitty forced romance scene
>>7792429
... ... ...!
>i might need to teach this dumbass how to fight
>or at least test the drill out on him before someone else does
>>
>>7792500
.... I had wondered where Nihilego had gone to come back so injured.
I am sorry to hear of your loss. It will, presumably, not happen again.
>>
>>
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>>7792528
Don't sweat it, just keep it outa my apartment cause that thing gives me the heebie jeebies
>>
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>>7792500
Yeah? I don't see how. I'm not even in the same region anymore.
>>7792507
...O-oh, uh... h-hello, sir... eheh... uh, no, I'm a different chandelure to >>7792440's chandelure.
(OOC: I'm actually the same guy who plays Chuckles, which might be why in >>7792337 it sounded like he knew a bit more than he should. Because I do. Please ignore that.)
>>
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>>7792516
>cossplay anon rolls for trying to slip out of the Ziptie
>If successful he immediately reaches over and grabs slice of piza and a handful of Daves popcorn and puts the popcorn on top of the pizza before taking a bite
>>
>>7792516
your loss dude
>Amused snort
pffft hets man
>Girly falsetto
"oh john whatever would i do without you! alas you've been eaten, so i must jump off this bridge now!"
>>7792429
hey egg
catch
>Attempt to land popcorn in his mouth
>>
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>>7792445
>slide right off the chrome dome
>well this isn't going to work
>>7792512
I'm fine, we're walking.
>>
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>>7792593
Yeeeeeees?
>>
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>>7792545
He just seems to be, shall we say, 'in a mood'.
>>7792574
My sincerest apologies.
>>
>>7792545
fug the chandelier.
it is the only option.
>>
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>>7792586
...
>a man of many talents
>one is taking a bullet
>>7792587
...?
>pfft
>tell the two they can crash on the beds in the bedroom if they want
>probably sleep on their laps because holy god im tired
>>
>>
>>7792654
>Alas, Dave can't read greentext, so unless he gets dragged off to the bedroom his drunk ass is going to assume it doesn't exist
dude
you tired or something?
kinda doing the nodding thing
>>
>>7792669
ghosts always have a way to shag.
just let it show you how.
>>
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>OK, so, here's the trial site
>Beat up the local fauna, take off with the Normalium
>I'm sure the captain whateva will not mind, after all, that's the point of the trial
>Jay, Hal, Zeta, let's just rush to the other side of the cave and zap the hell of anything that looks at us funny
>>
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>>7792624
Say antlerman, is there anyway you can put my soul back in my body while keeping prim alive?
>>
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>>7792758
>Zeta salutes Streambro and does as requested.
>>
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>>7792758
>outta my way rodents fucking shit
>oh my fuck is the totem Raticate
>Jay you're up. Just blast it, you got the level advantage
>>
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>>7792761
Alright well I don't have all night so just wake me up when you figure it out.
>>
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>>7792761
Unfortunately it seems like Xerneas went to bed. I could see if I can fix your problem for you myself though.
I'll require a favor first, however...
>>
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>>7792829
I don't trust psychic types along with ghost types, now shoo, i'll wait for antlerman
>>
>>7792829
>favor
Mew the guy's been through enough
>>
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>>7792842
...Excuse me?! Sir, I am a Mythical, and on top of that, I am the Mother of All. I am your great-great-great-great-billion times over grandmother. You will show me respect.
>Mew snaps her fingers.
>Pornarina... erm... Pornanon is no longer Prim's headmate- in fact, Prim is now in a normal, one-souled state.
>However, his human body is gone... replaced with a Brionne's body. Which he now inhabits.
>You don't piss off a god.
>>
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>>7792806
>A well oiled pest eradication machine
>Who cares if they're all trained to pretend they're wilds, they're in our way
>>7792816
>Buffs do nothing when you haven't got the stats or levels
>Jay seems real happy at doing something for the first time since the evolution
>And score, Normalium acquired
>Hal went to scope out the entrance, might not want that pink haired androgynous freak to start nosing around
>>
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>>7792862
y'all are powertrippin' idiots.
>>
>>7792873
...
>And just for that, now he's a popplio.
>>
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>>7792877
(You just proved my point, i'm out)
>>
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>>7792864
>No one in sight
>All the rats have been knocked out
>Time for texting before I get called back to action
>>7792873
>PLAY: w95chime.wav
>ERRORTITLE: Holy shit you're dumb
>ERRORBODY: Uninstall you're life
>>
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>>7792893
(Dude, I was just havin' a giggle. If you had a problem with it OOC, you should've said something OOC.)
>>
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>>7792864
>>7792898
>Now for rushing the way out before someone notices things being a little too calm
>Roll to try riding Jay all the way to Hau'oli, again
>>
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>>7792900
(Well consider this me saying something then)
>>
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>>7792953
>Faceplanting the soil, again
>This is clearly not going to work
I'm fine, I'm fine, let's just walk all the way down.
>>
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>>7792963
(All right then. I am thus redacting everything starting from >>7792862 and ending with >>7792893, since I'm not the kind of guy who can think up an IC explanation for Mew suddenly turning a 180 and fixing what she broke.)
>>7792842
...And why not, might I ask? I mean... looking at your past, I can understand Ghost-types and possibly Fire-types, but not Psychic-types.
>>
(I feel as if we could use more OOC chatter)
(Like there are a few situations lately over the past few weeks that ended in people being chased off or nearly chased off and could have been easilly resolved is one person took time to let the other know they were not OK with it)
>>
>>7794039
(We really could. A lot of the times I assume people are okay with whatever is going on if they don't say anything. I can't Arceus your problem if you don't say anything guys.)
(...... Not gonna lie, I honestly just like talking to people, so that's a bonus.)
>>
>>7794039
(Well, randomly coming out of nowhere with a legendary/mythical, and saying "your character is changed now", is also a problem.)
(I'm not the Primarina anon that got chased off, btw)
>>
(seriously? thanks guys i liked that guy)
>>
>>7795119
Fuck off go ranch N already.
>>
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(Just a note to the people roleplaying legends/mythics - you're supposed to be GM'ing. That is to say, managing plots and keeping shitposters in check. Making major character changes without permission is not one of the things you're supposed to be doing. Temporary changes done for fun? Fine, whatever, don't overdo it. Major changes? No. )
>>7795119
(Sorry man, I was sleeping when it happened or I would have done something. )
>>7795184
(Uncalled for.)
>>
>>7795119
(I'm still here for now, I was just wasted last night and shut my shit down after making my last post, surprised somebody liked the character as crude as it is.)
>>
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>>7795524
(I'm sorry about what happened dude, since I'm awake now is there anything you'd like me to do to your character to get him back in line with whatever you had planned for him?)
>>
>>7795575
(You don't need to be sorry looking back over the back and forth I probably deserved it but idk, seems the mew poster retconned their transformation antics so I guess I'm back to where I was.)
>>
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>>7795611
(Well, if you want me to Arceus your character back into a human I can do that, but it's up to you.)
>>
>>7795611
(Mew guy here. Yeah, I honestly felt like shit for driving you off. Glad to see it wasn't for good, but... still.)
>>7795449
(Yeah, note taken. Sorry.)
>>
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RIP Weird Al, 1959-2017, killed by the Almia mafia.
Good night, sweet prince.
>>
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>Play tic tac toe with a random dead person while you wait for thread to revive
>>
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>>7796527
>>
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Anyone have a boat?
>>
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>>7796560
>Is it just me or is /trash/ faster than normal today?
>>
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>>7796625
>Dry old ghost sounds.
>>
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>>7796674
>Ah, I know this trick
>I've already lost
>>
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>>7796704
>Smug ghost sounds.
>>
>>7796724
Well that was anticlimactic
>>
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>>7797129
>Gurgling.
>>
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>Sandslash wakes up and gets out of bed
>goes outside the ship and sits down on the soft desert sand
>>7796578
I mean, technically I do. More of a ship though.
It's also uh...not quite seaworthy right now.
>>
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>The phone in Jacket's livingroom rings.
>>
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>>7797178
Hey how's Orre treatin' you/
>>
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>>7797773
Good as always, I've always loved this place.
There's not much that can beat a nice big open desert.
Plus the non desert part of Orre is pretty chill too.
>>
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>>7797857
Maybe I'll come visit. If you're ever in Unova you can come chill in the party tomb.
>>
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>>7797913
You mind if an old cop and his buddies come over for a visit?
I'll bring scotch.
>>
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>>7797913
I'll make sure to, sounds pretty cool.
...As long as I don't have to stay in the tomb, that is.
>>
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>>7797969
Hey as long as there isn't a warrant out for my arrest go ahead.
... Can a ghost type serve a life sentence?
>>7798022
I mean if you wanna. I keep the place decently tidy. I don't keep any corpses around.
>>
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>>7798039
I'm good thanks, I'd rather not stay in one place for too long.
I want to travel the world, see all the different regions, that kind of thing.
>>
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>>7798155
I know a cool Aegislash that knows his way around Kalos.
>>
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>>7798295
Cool, tell him to come say hello if the S.S. Libra ever shows up in port there.
>>
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skitters is asleep post lewds
>>
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well, i'll do some working because i'm feeling the need to make some sexy clothes for me
>>
>>7798565
>skitters
>asleep
Good joke ya dip.
>>
>>7798672
Go kiss your boyfriend
>>
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>>7798690
>>7798722
>>
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>>7798722
... ...
>>
>>7798565
(Why would it matter if I'm asleep or awake? I can't stop you either way. I'm not a janitor.)
>>
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>>7797319
motherfucker people are nursing HANGOVERS IN HERE
>Remove pillow from shirt
>Chuck it at phone
>>
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>>7797319
... ...
>pick it up
>>7798810
...? ...
>>
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>>7798039
No warrants, just a peg-legged soon-to-be-ex-cop having a midlife crisis.
Might take me a little while to get over there though.
I'll knock the ol' shave-and-a-haircut tune so you know it's me, alright?
>>
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>>7798810
>Phone is knocked off the receiver.
>>7798877
>Jacket clocks himself in the jaw with the phone.
>"Hello this is Amanda with Alolan Lawn Care."
>"We have a lawn that needs mowing at East 7th Street."
>"The grass is a little unruly, be quick!"
>Click.
>>
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>>7798434
Will do!
>>7798951
Gotcha. I'll bust out the booze, officer.
>>
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>>7798877
yeah sorry
ill go back to hiding from the sunlight
>Dave: pull the covers over your head
>>
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well, i'm done sewing for today, well i now i'll go watch some tv and eat some sweets
>>
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>>7799002
>bug is good against grass
>grab carl mask and drill
>>7799045
>grab dave a cup of water and some Alka-Seltzer and head out the door
>start up the car
>drive
>>
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>>7799111
>Dude you have the worst luck known to man kind
>That wasn't Alka-Seltzer
>Why the fuck do you even have LSD in your med cabinet?
>Trips confirm Dave is going on a trip
>>
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>>7799111
>You have some seriously garbage luck Jacket.
>Are you sure Gadreel didn't curse the gays?
>Anyway, after driving down various wrong streets you come to the house.
>The lawn is uncared for.
>You can smell Vileplume dust in the air.
>You can hear coughing inside.
>Showtime.
>>
>>7799184
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hX5FRRtjjhc
>>
Does anyone have the time?
>>
>>7799275
Time to die.
>>
>>7799275
>Check watch doodled onto wrist
Three fifty nine.
>>
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>>7799184
>oops
>>7799212
>let out scizor
>blaziken can come to
>get to work
>>
>>7799275
hi brock
>>
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>>7799293
>>7799300
IT'S BROCK O'CLOCK
>>7799371
>throws brick
>>
>>7799393
>throws brock at brock
>brockception
>>
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>>7799319
>The druggies go down in a blaze of fire.
>The drill is coming in handy.
>One left.
>A man with a highly illegal machine gun.
>He tells you to fuck off.
>You can tell he's high on a concoction of pokemon based drugs.
>>
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>>7799393
Would you care for a drink sir?
We serve protein shakes.
>>
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>>7799462
>showtime
>use that drill
>>
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>>7799481
what kind of drinks do you have?
>>
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>>7799423
>a brock hole opens up
>>7799481
please. I'll take a Manhattan.
>>
>>7799493
>The drill gets his shoulder and he drops the gun.
>He grabs a handful of Vileplume dust and throws it into your mask.
>>
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>>7799500
We have smoothies, milkshakes, juices, milk, tea, coffee, wine, beer, spirits.
And that's about it.
If its a liquid then I sell it.
>>7799528
Coming right up.
>>
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>>7799538
>bad trip man
>get carl and richard after his ass
>>
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>>7799528
It's happening, the end of times is upon us
>>
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>>7799560
okay, give me your sweetest smoothie with added sugar
>>
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>>7799319
>Yeah he'll probably still be wrapped up like a Swadloon and hiding in a corner when you get back
>>7799255
>What the fuck
>I don't even need to press play to know that shit is going to be weird
>Dave covers his ears and hopes it goes away
>>
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>>7799585
One strawberry, orange and mango smoothie coming right up.
I always love making the smoothies, the mixer makes me dizzy.
>>
>>
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>>7799596
>oooooopsie
>>7799661
>drill him
>>
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>>7799626
thanks
>puts an extra bit of sugar in the smoothie just for good mesasure
>chugs it
ahhhh, that's the good stuff, this tastes great
>>
>>7799717
>Christ you get odds like no one's business.
>You botch the drill job and he's gurgling for you to kill him.
>>
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>>7799767
>yeah who'd i piss off
>drill him again
>>
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>>7799481
Do you serve anything flammable?
I will take the most flammable thing you have.
>>
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>>7799736
Always nice to hear a compliment.
>>7799812
Flaming shot coming right up.
>Mixes together green chartreuse and rum.
>Lights the shot.
Here you go, something hot, don't burn your fur.
>>
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>>7799801
THAT WOULD BE ME
A MOVIE FROM THE 80S HAS GIVEN ME A GRUDGE AGAINST DELOREANS AND THEIR DRIVERS
>>
>>7799801
>You killed him probably.
>There's a bag of drug money on the counter.
>You're done here.
>>
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>>7799870
...
>ok
>>7799872
>snag money
>get a snack from the fridge
>drive down to the store
>>
>>7799858
What have you got for single malt scotch?
>>
>>
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>>7799661
>Yeah I'll probably go back and actually listen to this stuff later
>Just gonna guess Dave won't think it tastes nice
>At least if he drinks water he won't hear anything
>Wash down the taste of that music
>>
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>>7799858
Do you have any chocolate?
>>
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>>7799917
I have a bottle of cragganmore.
And a bottle of highland park.
>>7800014
I have some chocolate cake left from the 4 o'clock tea rush.
>>
>>7800014
Chocolate kills puppers
>>
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>>7799858
no problem, it was great, and it deserved a complement, but if it was bad i wouldn't kept quiet
and also getting complements from me is quite the feat so good job
>>
>>7800044
I'll have a glass of highland park I guess, neat.
>>
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>>7800044
I'll take it!
>>7800049
shhh
>>
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>>7800044
>show up at the spinda cafe
>order something strong
>>
>>7800092
Do you want to die?
>>
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>>7800092
Halt, citizen!
Chocolate contain theobromine, which to many pokemon including most canid species it is dangerously poisonous!
So unless it was made with theobromine-free chocolate, that cake is not safe for your consumption!
Goodbye, and stay safe, citizen!
>>
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>>7800101
I feel-
>>7800144
.... Yes officer...
You rock!
>>
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Looks like its rush hour here.
>>7800091
Alright, here you go.
>>7800050
Hehe, well if you say so.
Nothing wrong with high standards, its your money I'm taking here.
>>7800094
A glass of stroh 80 it is.
Don't hold it near any open flames or fire types.
>>7800092
Uhh, okay here's a slice of chocolate cake.
>>
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>>7800144
Alola.
Bы видeли пapня в мacкe?
>>
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>>7800163
>hand him a brick of cash
>swig that shit
>>
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>>7800163
>pays for the smoothie
well, i hope i can drink here again
>>
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모두 우박의 진정한 포켓몬 마스터
>>
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>>7800194
>counts out the huge wad of cash.
Uh, sir this is far too much for the drink.
This is easily ten times the bottle alone is worth.
>>7800222
Were always open for those that want a drink.
See you around next time honey.
>>
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>>7800224
>>
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>>7800236
>wave him off to keep it
>head back outside
>drive hom
>>
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>>7800265
>>
>>7800284
I don't remember making you....
>>
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>>7800289
나는 유일한 하나님, 나는 결투를 요구한다.
>>
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>>7800302
You want a duel? Fine. Me and my team of 6 vs you and your team of 6.
>>
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>>7800236
sure see ya later
>>
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>>7800280
What a nice young man.
>>7800340
Bye bye.
>>
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>>7800337
>위드를 보낸다.
패자가 될 준비를하라.
>>
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>>7800337
>>7800376
Hey I heard some young kids needed a hot dad?
>>
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>>7800376
Alright, bucko.
Here's the first.
>Raddad called for help!
>>7800420
>Hotdad answered!
>420
>I guess he's Blazedad now?
>>
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>>7800420
>>7800450
>포이즌 스팅
하하
너무 쉽다
>>
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wew, all this sugar made me all fired up i'm going to do some running
>>
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>>7800420
Niiice digits, dude.
>Celebratory doot
>>7800450
He's been hanging out with meeee.
>>
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>>7800471
>I have no idea what Pokemon you sent out so
Blazedad, use Fire Blast!
>>
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>>7800450
Me and Ghostdad have been chillin'.
>>7800515
Yooooo.
>>7800471
...
>Fire Blast
>>7800528
Already on it.
>>
>>7800528
>>7800538
나는 자본주의 돼지를 돌려 줄거야
....
>>
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>Dave is having a terrible trip
>Currently he's rocking back a forth in the corner mumbling to himself.
Oh süßer Arceus, warum ich, was habe ich getan?
>>
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>>7800554
Bye kiddo. Don't come back!
>>
>>7800280
>tosses an arceus mask into window
>>
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>>7800607
It will all be okay glasses, just stare deeply into my eyes.
>>
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>>7800643
>what would this even do
>whatever toss it in the back
>get the fuck home
>>7800607
>>7800667
...
>toss sparkledog out
>>
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>>7800667
>He screams
HEATRAN, ZERSTÖREN SIE ES.
>Heatran used Flash Cannon!
>>
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>cosplay anon Action
>Slavsquatting with a bottle of Vodka whilst Getting Drunk outside a Motel
>>
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>>7800819
>Fail
>Anon's hand is cleaved off with the Aegislash
>>
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>>7800731
...?
>>7800819
>baseball bat
>>
>>7800740
>pour cooking oil on his head
>>
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>>7800918
>What do you mean how??
>He has an Aegislash with him all the time
>He fucking sliced your hand, that's how.
>>7800886
WAS HAST DU GETAN?
>>
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What's the best way to get chocolate off of a 35' dragon?
>>
>>7800945
Lick it off.
>>
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>>7800859
>>7800886
>>7800918
WELL, THAT'S MESSY.
I'LL DEAL WITH THAT FOR YOU.
>A Mimikyu slowly drags the ex-Anon off as nature reclaims Anon at a drastically accelerated rate.
>Nature can be pretty gross sometimes..
>>
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>>7800944
... ...?
>do i have a mask that translates german
>fuck
>>7800957
>thanks deer god
>>
>>
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>>7800945
Rubin! Reinigen Sie es mit Feuer.
>>7800975
>Point the Aegislash at him
Bleib zurück, Hühnendämon!
>>
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well i'm going back to walk a bit in orre in the night
>>
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>>7800937
>cosplay anons Head is now Extra shiny
>He also responds to this by Glassing the anon
>>
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>>7801007
>well im not wearing the willem mask
>whatever
>disarm the one nipped warrior
>>
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>>7801069
>Still having problems with those odds I see
>I guess Dave pulls off a wicked dodge
>He stumbles back in fear of the demonic clucker
>Back against the wall, sword held up in defense
Bleiben Sie weg von mir, Teufel!
>>
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>>7801175
... ...?
>sit on the couch
>make sure that weapon for emergencies isnt between the couch cushions
>>
>>7801223
>oh sweet fuck i put it under the couch cushions
>roll to hide it
>>
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>>7800667
....
did you die?
>>
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>>7801008
>gets back from the sugar rush
huh where am i now?
>evens: reconize the area
>odds: it's lost in the middle of the desert
>>
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>>7801223
>Dave slides down the wall until he's sitting on the floor
>Dude's shaking like a leaf during a tornado
>Perception check to see if he noticed the weapon shenanigans just now
>>
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>>7801333
>adri is completely lost and have no idea where she is
uhh... is there someone here?
HELOOOOOO
>>
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>>7801387
...
>take mask off
...?
>>7801415
>roll to see if kitchen set is yelling outside of the apartment
>>
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>>7801242
Nah I'm fine, stupid of me to play a joke on somebody tripping on LSD though.
>>
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>>7801415
>roll to hear Bisharp
>odds = wow that sandstorm looks pretty violent, I hope nobody wanders into it
>evens = WHO'S THERE?!
>>
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>>7801476
>bisharp walks towards the voice
i'm just a bisharp that got lost, do you know where i am?
>mubling
i should moderate on the sugar next time
>>
>>7801431
>Squint
>Realize who it is you were considering chopping
Es tut mir leid, es tut mir leid, ich habe es nicht gemeint, es tut mir leid, bitte verletzt mich nicht, ich will nicht, dass das Lockenstab.
>Plop head into hands and keep shaking
>>
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>>7801515
Uh..you're just outside the S.S. Libra wreck.
You shouldn't really be wandering around the desert alone, unless you know your way around like me.
You're free to stay here or I could take you back to someone else in Orre.
>>
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>>7801571
... ...?
>how the fuck do you cheer people up
>hug him?
>>
>>7801576
i'm exausted, so can i stay the night?
i think i was passing my days at a hotel in gateon port i think that's pretty far, so i'll go tommorow morning
>>
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>Wake up.
>Knifu waifu is gone.
>Guess I got dumped.
>Head the fuck out.
>>
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>>7801622
>forgot pic
>>
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>>7801622
Yeah, no problem.
Just go ahead and pick any room that isn't the captain's quarters, that's already taken.
I'll take you back to where you need to go tomorrow.
>>
>>7801641
Haha dude bummer
>>
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>>7801622
>>7801641
oh yeah i forgot to tell him
>sends rceon guy an email
"i'm lost in a near a wrecked ship ship called ss libra."
"but there is a sandstorm so it will take a while so can be back
"i'll be back soon when i find my way back
love adrienne"
>>
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>>7801582
>Accept the hug
>How does the hug thing work?
>Dave has never had a hug in his life
>Awkwardly return hug
>>
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>>7801445
What is that?
Tripping over stuff hurts...
>>
RED IS GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL
>>
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>>7801784
........
>>
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>>7801702
oh yeah
>makes another email
"there i a gift i sewn for you in the in the dresser on the first drawer
(it's up to you what she made)
>>
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>>7801778
Its like having a nightmare but being awake.
>>
>>7801784
The colour or the person?
Either is true.
>>
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>>7801809
That sounds horrible.
>>
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>>7801746
...? ...?
>put him on the couch
>right jacket what did you do with the last drugged up person you brought home
>left her on the couch for three hours
>ok that wont work
>point at oven
...?
>>7801806
...?
>>
GLADION IS STRAIGHT AND LOVES HIS MOTHER
>>
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>>7801825
.....
>>7801855
....?
>>
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>>7801746
are you okay?
You seem totally not okay right now.
>>
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>>7801855
That's not true and you know it.
>>
>>7801881
That's the point salad boy.
>>
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>>7801806
Aber haben sie recht?
>>7801824
Es ist furchtbar.
>>7801864
Töte mich.
>>7801825
.... was? Was ist damit? ....Pizza?
>>
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>>7801677
so what do you guys do here?
>>
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>>7801895
Well then. Nevermind me.
>>
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>>7801909
....
>>
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>>7801909
....
ARE YOU KAY?!
>>
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>>7801857
...
>>7801909
...? ...!
>make a goddamn pizza like the mary sue of all trades you are
>roll to not make it into charcoal
>>
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>>7801925
Well...me and Yanmega have been working on trying to restore the wreck back into a proper ship.
Right now we're looking for a way to move the wreck into Gateon for repairs, although that's probably going to take either a lot of psychic Pokemon or some heavy lifting machinery.
That and chilling out on deck, you get some pretty nice sunsets and sunrises here.
>>
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>>7801987
>............................
Thread posts: 304
Thread images: 248
Thread images: 248