ITT: Pokemon are real Which roleplayers do you ship? Info:

>>7653120

Finally talking sense haha

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>>7653117
(everyone x skitters)

>>7653096
DIDN'T FUCKING DIE TO THE GUN PRIEST
GOT THE LEAD
>NEXT FUCKING FLOOR PLS GET THIS OVER WITH

>>7653117
>( Bork x Fuschiafag )
Not sure I understand. Anyway, pretty sure Thorpe's on the run right now. I found his 'dex lying around. Fucker's smart, he could probably dodge for a few hours before we get him - I've got a guess as to his location and legal defense, though.
Shouldn't have badmouthed the President on international TV, motherfucker.

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>>7653117
(pls.)

>>7653077
(p l s.)

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>>7653160
DRAGON
MADE OF GUN
I FUCKING KILLED IT
TALKED TO THIS BLACKSMITH GUY
GOT THE GUN
AND THE BULLET
IT'S OVER, I'M UNDOING MY MISTAKES RIGHT HERE AND NOW
>BANG

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>>7653169
The HELL is this shit

>>7653182
ruh roh

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>>7652933
>>7653070
>>7653169
... I'm giving you five days before I come to the capital.

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>>7653182
>first he prunes all the timelines he died in so he can leave
>then he goes to undo the wishening
>...except there's three of him there now, two would make sense given that he's doing some time travel BS, but three?
>two are human, and one is a zangoose
>he's looking at BOTH his pasts, right at the diverging point.
>which past does he shoot!?

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>>7653212
OR PERHAPS LEAVE WITHOUT SHOOTING ANY OF THEM TO AVOID BURDENING MY WORKLOAD

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>>7653117
(I think it would be amusing to have Bones x Stitches both ooc and ic)
>Sandslash has finally arrived back in Orre, the stolen boat is almost out of fuel
>leaves the boat at Gateon and heads off into the desert, towards the desert keep

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>>7653212
>Hugging Jay and Hal tightly, these may be the last seconds

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>>7653212
>He takes aim at the past human
>then switches to the zangoose
>what are the ramifications of shooting one over the other!?

>>7653237
...
>does he really need to shoot the past to live the future?
>nah, not really, yeah he suffered for a bit, both versions of him, but if he hadn't, he wouldn't have been able to become a gym leader and fix shit
>...that and if he shot his human past he'd engage a grandfather paradox and shit would get ALL KINDS of fucked up
>he turns the gun on himself once more, and pulls the trigger, vanishing from the past into the present time, back in the breech, The Gun That Can Kill The Past in hand.

...
That was fucking trippy. I decided to just free myself from this fucking place. Got a lot of guns out of it, so I guess it's all good?

Fuck, I don't know what the hell just happened, but uh, I think it's over...

>Stumbles out of the breech, Cali holding an armload of guns and cool shit

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>>7653293
>Mew-flavored sigh of relief

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well the eain stopped since yesterday, but the ground still too muddy so i won't go train today but i'm so bored i whish i had someone to play with

>>7653191
UPD originals, bitch.
Thorpe thought he could lead a fucking coup and get away with it, and now it's payback for General Mad Dog Marlowe and all the Army boys he got killed.
I bet he's crying in the fucking sewers, trying to slip out of town right now.
President's given us orders to fuck his day.

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>>7653252
>Yanmega has been frantically combing the desert, looking for Sandslash
>Evens, she happens to notice him, and worriedly flies up to him
>Odds, she misses him entirely, and keeps looking.

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>>7653293
>N was hugging the sleeping Gladion the entire time, worried that the only thing he likes about his life was about to get retconned
>>7653312
Or perhaps he's headed to the Plasma frigate to seek sanctuary. Who knows.

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>>7653293
Thanks, thanks for taking the third option.

>>7653312
We lost good men and 'mon in the killchip fiasco and you aren't going to restart it because of a petty grudge.

>signals N for show of force
>plus we still have these IP goons to deliver to Thorpe

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(I Don't Want to be pitied and get others to Rp over my own sake I only wanted to do it cause I thought the idea would be fun, I've had a shit day so far now all this happens, lurker anon whoever you are, Fuck you. You've fucked with us for too long and you got to me, I hope you're happy. Also that new person on discord Is a friend who took my account of my hands, he won't be a bother cause he won't touch it, he won't respond to anything you guys say or do anyway he's busy with his own work, I also asked him to change it back to my old user so just ignore it. If or when I come back you'll know when that is when it happens. Probably a few hours maybe days idk I just need a break)

>>7653351
I fucking hope so, that way we can blow your ugly-ass wooden blimp out of the sky.
>>7653360
Fiasco? There would have been no fucking fiasco, no goddamned war, if he'd stayed the fuck home and stood the fuck down when his commanding fucking officer told him to!
This isn't a grudge, this is taking our fucking country back from terrorist scum like him and like Plasma.

>>7653370
( breaking from antagonistposting to say im sorry that lurker cockmongler got to you. if you ever want to come back you're welcome to, also we're probably gonna crack down way harder on crossover shit from here )

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>>7653360
shooting myself in the head twice was quite a fucking experience.

I've got this gun now though, so I can redo talks with the League about fixing shit until it's actually fucking fixed.

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>>7653324
>Sandslash doesn't notice Yanmega as he's running, he just wants to get back to being with his friends again after all this crazy shit

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>>7653418
Greater people than you have tried and failed. I believe the true terrorist here is your government, considering we have yet to go on a campaign based solely around killing people's friends.

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>>7653424
>Yanmega thinks he's running away from her
Hey! Sandslash?
>Roll to catch up and pounce on him

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>>7653422
.... what gun, sport?
Looks like a snazzy Remoraid to me.

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>>7653418
If you want your goddamned war, well, damn, have your goddamned war!
Beginning with a nationwide broadcast on that the Almians had nothing to do with this shit, starting... now.

>>7653370
(I kind of have to say sorry for letting the Gungeon thing slide as well)

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>>7653494
...DAMNIT ARCEUS I COULD HAVE ACTUALLY USED THIS FOR THE GOOD OF ALL LIVING CREATURES BY LOOPING TALKS WITH THE LEAGUE UNTIL SHIT WAS RIGHT
...YOU GOT ALL MY OTHER GUNS TOO!? DAMNIT!
...Fuck it, I've still got a few of those snazzy items, even if like, 90% of them relate to guns and now I can't use them.
I'm gonna go home and tell the League that this was a pile of shit.
Bleh.

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>>7653485
>Sandslash stops running and turns around as he hears Yanmega calling for him
Yanmega?
I'm so sorry, I didn't see you. Is everyone else ok?
Did Victini do anything after I left?

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>>7653510
>>7653418
>Mew flavored muffled screaming

I WANTED A WEEK OR A MONTH NOT A DAY

EVERYTHING'S FUCKING FALLING APART

>>7653461
The killer hippie doesn't understand matters of national security. Well, color me surprised.
Not everybody's got a fucking killteam at their disposal when something goes on rampage, and your toxic thieving ideology's not fucking helping that.
Seriously, what sort of psycho says it's normal for Pokemon to turn on their Trainers and rip them apart because they're unsatisfied with life?
>>7653510
I'm not looking for a goddamned war, I'm looking to put down a goddamned crooked cop.
Perimeter's up, flyers are circling. He ain't leaving the city.

>>7653547
>Someone posts a picture of policefag
>he's leaning against a nondescript concrete wall, somewhere shady
>just sitting there and sipping whiskey

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>>7653541
Everyone's fine. And Victini left.
...
Why'd you run off like that?
Everybody is worried sick about you.

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Well that was funny to watch.
>The Gungeon sinks below the ocean again, and then vanishes back to where it fucking belongs

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>>7653582

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>>7653611
...Oh, great. What now?

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>>7653611
>In place of the Gungeon an iceberg rises

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>>7653588
That makes me feel a bit better, knowing nothing bad happened because of my fuck up.

...I ran because that's what I do.
I run from my problems and hope they can't catch up with me.
I'm sorry.

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>>7653554
I never said that was okay or normal. Apparently you have never listened to a single thing I have said - my ideology is that it's okay for a Pokemon to leave if they find themselves unsatisfied with life, yet your government and current society doesn't allow for it. Perhaps if Unova cared at all for the well-being of Pokemon they wouldn't have to resort to murder to escape abusive trainers.

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>>7653554
Yeah, good luck trying to put down Unova's favourite cop. I will see that no civilian cooperate with you.

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>>7653664
Running away only makes things worse...

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>>7653644
>THE SOUND OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE SCREAMING

>>7653582
WAIT WHAT
THAT'S A CURRENT PIC
There's a manhunt for this fucker, probably to kill him, and he's just... Fucking asshole's taunting us by doing this!
>>7653672
Adding 'property rights' next to 'national security' on the list on shit you don't understand.
>>7653694
Unovan Army, bitch. They'd better fucking cooperate.
We all know the cops would tip him off, so we're on this fucking job.

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>Gets off the helicopter back at his Gym
>dumped the remoraid into the ocean
>now he's just got a key, a scarf, a golden shotgun shell, and a weird bullet with indecipherable writing all over it
...Back to normal, I think?

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>>7653748
Do I need to eat a bitch?

>>7653748
I wasn't aware sapient, intelligent beings counted as property.
-Random person

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>>7653748
... Property rights
You think Pokemon are fucking property!?
>Angry gym leader noises

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>>7653719
I'm so sorry Yanmega.
I'll never do it again, I promise.
Also if there's anything I can ever do to make it up to you and the others, please tell me.

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>>7653748
Pokemon are sapient creatures more capable of complex thought than many humans - referring to and treating them as property is inhumane.
Unova has five days to fix its behavior before I raze its government down to the ground myself.

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>>7653791
>and the others, please tell me.
I want your mortal soul.

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>>7653748
Fuck your army, fuck your weapons, this shit is going to end in a classic Unovan revolution.
>Property rights
You truly don't learn, don't you?

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>>7653791
Never run away again.
...
Want a lift?

>>7653776
>sapient
>laughingsargeant.jpg
>>7653787
Is that a threat against a Unovan military officer, my friend?
>>7653797
Terroristic threat from a militant group? Enjoy your counterinsurgency raid, and I hope I get to use my boot knife.
>>7653818
I'm pretty sure you're on the boat labeled 'dead bitch storage'. See you once we've got Thorp-
>BOOM

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>>7653748
Good luck differentiating him from all these Dittos.
The lewd Dittos may not be good at much man, but we can sure as hell save this cop.

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>>7653748
>>7653836
Hey do you want a V-Create or a Searing Shot?

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>>7653812
>scared Sandslash noises
...Anything other than that?

>>7653825
I won't.
...Also a lift would be much appreciated.

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>>7653836
...welp Unova's in civil war again
I'm just gonna try and make sure Kanto doesn't fall into the same mess
...hehe, the E4 are going to flip when I come back in a bloodied coat and tell them their little training facility idea just got turned into an iceberg.

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>>7653836
Counterinsurgency raid? That won't go well for you. Plasma has more influences than you realize.

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>>7653855
I'm messin' with ya. If you happen upon some pokedolls or anything cool just yoink it for me.


Ḯ̹͚̲̗͚̺̓̃͛͌̀̀͠'̮̳̣̖̭͗͌̈́̂̒̂̔̀ļ̼͎̲̘͎̖͇̩̗͗̌̚l̨̳̼̫̮͓̓̌͟ ̛̜̗͍͈̹̲̈̀̋͆̊̑͠͞ͅc̸̜̘̟̭̤͙̅͑͋̽͋l̨̯͎͕̩͉̩̂̒͗̚͞a̵͖̳̬͙̘̩ͫ͑͑i̹͖̟͙͔͍̓͒̏̀͜͝m̲͔̜̼͕̞̟͙̙̉̍̓ ͚̠̗̮͕̑ͤͫ̍̏̉̂ͬͬͅy̬̱̌̿͊͌o̗͖̎ͨͣû̞̹͖̰͉̦͎̫ͭ̃́͜r͎͇ͭ̓ ̷̙̗͚̽̓̅s̡͉̼̟͈͋̀̋͟ͅo͔̫̫͇̭͉͇ͬ͆̐͂͂ͫ̕͜ǘ̷̡̠̂̌̒̆̾l̻͙͗̏̆̏̈́͢ ̛̱̤̼̤͈̻̼̗̓̿̔̀̀l̬̥̘̦̼̮̝͊̽̋̓͐̋̄ǎ͔͎̖͇̝̜͂ͨ̍͂̄͊͐̀́͠t̨̗̝̗̹̬̤̠ͪ̄̒̉e͔̣̓̌ͅr̷̘̪̟̯̻͓̟̤̖̚̚.͓̱̺̳̘͔̞̖̱̌̎̈́ͩ͌̂̾͂͑͝

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>>7653836
>>7653864
kanto-johto champ here
were defs not okay with the shit unovas doing
be prepared to have us stand against you
red will likely join us

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And the government shows it's hand once again.

Should I play my ace now or later?

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>>7653855
Sure thing.
>Grabs onto Sandslash
>Flies him to the castle

Castelia anon here, holy fuck
i just saw some army guys get fucked by a hyper beam outside my apartment
shits getting real again, ill try to go solid snake and keep you up to date

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>>7653847
Thank god you're awake, Victini. Everything's gone down the shitter.

Unova decided to wage war with Almia, then shit went down, and now we're in a fucking civil war.

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>>7653931
Why Almia?
Ughhhhh, come on help me calm the people AGAIN.
>Roll to pacify groups of people

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>>7653836
Unova has proven they still haven't advanced from their barbaric mindset.
Kalos est contre vous. Pour la liberté, la fraternité et l'égalité!

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>>7653896
Oh goody, someone to help me convince these fucking braindead idiots that pokemon deserve rights and Unova is in fact being a shit. God I swear Kanto is full of uneducated retards. Least they can be CONVINCED to get off their asses and do something though.

>>7653943
...did Kalos just declare war as well?
Ohboi shit's getting real

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>>7653881
Not sure why you'd even want my soul anyway, it's probably not very good.
One way or another I'll make it up to everyone.

>>7653904
Especially you, Yanmega.
I would apologise more but I don't want everything I say to you from now on to be an apology.

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>>7653938
Because Almia stands where Russia once was, and we decided to blame Russia. Duh.

>Rolling to pacify as well

>At least keep the public calm while shit goes down

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>>7653836
Talk shit, get hit.

>>7653907
Never a normal day anywhere

>>7653910
>>7653931
That new president is a complete idiot, didn't help that Victini blamed it on a no longer existent nation.

>>7653943
Oh noes it's the wielder of the baguette

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>>7653983
...I don't think this is really working.
Should we... Fight the government?

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I'll see to it that the deck is reshuffled.

Lt. Zhang, Unovan Army. Reporting in.
We're having some unexpected resistance from within concerning the search for Thorpe. Central, please advise.
Central?
. . .
That's not feasible, Central
>>7653943
We have a possible declaration of war from the Kalosians? Are you kidding me?
>>7653961
Kanto too? Great, the whole Big Seven's decided to fuck us over one crooked-ass cop.

>>7653938
>>7653983
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

Someone get Saltpeter on the line, this is officially above my pay grade.

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>>7654014
hey it's you again are you fighting the commies you said before?

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>>7654014
...It got worse the last time you did that, let the Unovans handle that.

I'm talking with the E4 and the Kantonian government on conference call right now and they're being a bunch of dumb bricks. Dave, get in here!

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>>7653976
I understand.
Please stop beating yourself up over it.
We forgive you, and it's in the past.
No need to keep hating yourself over it.

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I'm blaming Phoebe for this terrible dream.

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>>7654038
Whatcha got cookin'?
>>7654042
Come on I'm fired up where are you?
>>7654045
More or less, kiddo.
>>7654049
Fffffine.

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>>7654078
Something fun.
>>7654072
Alola. Are you joining the fight too?
Never seen this many kings in a deck.

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>>7654078
take care of those bad guys, mister victiny stop what ever evil things are they doing

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>>7654049
im in here dude
what do you want me to say
politics isnt my specialty
need me to like
pull favors with my brothers or something
>>7654072
well
gonna suck for you when someone breaks the news

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>>7654014
>>7654078
...I honestly don't think that's such a good idea. If Plasma's listening I'm fine with sending aid if you need it, but... I'm the fucking Mother of All and I'm in over my head right now. This is officially war.

I'm not mentally prepared for war.

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>>7654102
Just needed someone else who isn't a box of rocks for brains in here, just tell them that yes, Unova being a shit, yes, we should aid the rebellion that's forming.

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Hey Unova.
You suck, and your music scene is atrocious!
That is all~

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>>7654095
Ooooh.
>>7654100
I will!! I got this.
>>7654112
...
So we wait? I guess waiting is the best idea.

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>>7654129
Yeah, pretty much.

If you need me I'll be, ah...

"calming down".

>>7654095
i saw your sex tape

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>>7654042
THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED (again)
Got visuals from a lot more cameras around Castelia this time, all on stream, all into seeing the army get fucked again because they refuse to let go of their old ways

>>7654078
>>7654112
Say hi to the cameras lil guys, maybe a few statements?

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>>7654102
What news?
.... this isn't a dream, is it.
>>7654095
>>7654042
Apparently I am.
Hoenn will declare war on Unova if I have any say in it.
>>7654142
So? Most of the League has seen it.

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>>7654129
but just becareful, we don't want the president of unova to get hurt

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>>7654051
...You're right.
I do need to stop blaming myself for everything, even though this time it kind of was my fault.
Thank you.

>>7654122
...You.
I remember what you did, thank you.

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>>7654042
My friends and I are coming back for Round Two, Lieutenant.
Have the unwelcoming party ready for our arrival, I had fun on my last visit. Got to meet General Marlowe up close. :^)

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>>7654129
>>7654139
Why don't you two sit on the backburner? Let the humans take their turns with the cards.
>>7654142
Really? I hope that ditto got my hair right at least.
>>7654152
Well. I hope you'll draw your cards carefully.
A-and... That isn't my sex tape. It was a ditto.

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>>7654115
aight
hey kanto-johto bitches
future fag here
unova is fucking shit and got worse in my timeline
were stopping this shit
kanto-johto is throwing in its forces against unova

>>7654166
you looked cute taking that cock though

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>>7654166
That's what I was planning.
>>7654146
...That I'm mournfully sorry for all of you and wish you all the best of luck.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm out.

Unovan Guardfag here, I fucking deserted
Looks like the sorry sumbitches who did show up are getting fucked
Cops v like less than half of the army, and you cant walk a block without a civvie Trainer ready to take a cheap shot if you let em
Most of the legislature's waiting in their offices and hoping for the best, a few of them tried to run.
tried.
someone pulled a crazy on the docks like last time.

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The Plasma rebellion against Unova begins next Friday.
Any nations I can rely on for aid to stop this abomination should let Colress and I know now so we can factor you into the planning.
>>7654166
Ah, so Gladion and I aren't the only ones plagued by Dittos.

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>>7654198
I am one Arceus damn second away from losing my cool.
>>7654210
Thank you. Let the humans have their time to fix their mistakes.
>>7654213
At least you believe me. The Elite Four and the Champion are behind you in this revolution.

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>>7654212
And now about 300k viewers and counting know, you can tell your still not deserting friends how bad they're getting beaten and that they should reconsider what they're doing.

>someone pulled a crazy on the docks like last time
OH BOY

>>7654213
Hopefully it all ends swiftly today sir, my fears is that they do not put up another idiot as chief.

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>>7654235
that greninja looks wierd
what is wrong with him?

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>>7654213
kanto-johto here to assist bro

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>>7654164
Yeah. We all make mistakes.
Again, don't be too hard on yourself.
So...What do you want to do now?
Just hang around the castle?

>>7654146
Armyfag defector here.
Lemme get you on encrypted channels, this may be treason but I didn't fucking ign up to fight my own people.

> scanning...
'This is Lt. Zhang to any Castelian assets. We are pi-
>BOOM
'Our position is overrun and indefensible. We are falling back.'
>scanning...

>>7654235
was it marshal or catlin?

>>7654213
...You're late bub. Rebellion is going to be over in the next few hours at this rate.
Hopefully the next government is better.

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>>7654260
...
That's a picture of me.
>>7654275
I'm leaving I need to cull some of these damn military bastards.

The cards are set, let the best man win.

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GAHD DAMMIT
WHAT THE FUCK IS EVERYONE DOING

STOP PLAYING AROUND AND FIGHT THEM OFF GAHD DAMMIT
-Eric Saltpeter, President of Unova

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>>7654235
Thanks for your support, and that at least someone in power at Unova is still thinking striaght.

>>7654271
Thank you, any communications in this channel will be made public shortly.

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>>7654213
Kalos prête son aide.

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>>7654315
...Zhang, I will personally court-marshal you if you continue using that channel.

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>>7654293
are you a human?
you looked like one of those pokemon who liked to dress as a human for some reason

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>>7654302
>>7654337
Tell me. Uncle Grimsley is going to flip a coin.

If you guess right I'll leave you alone.

Heads or tails?

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>>7654337
>laughing gym leader sounds
dude you have no power right now, it's slipping right out of your fat fingers you pompous ass.
This is what you fucking get for treating Pokemon as property

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>>7654302
You have until Friday, remember that.

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>>7654263
It's ok, I feel better now.
As for what I want to do...I want to get you something nice.
I was looking around shops yesterday but I had no idea what to look for, it's why I asked you yesterday what the perfect gift for you would be.
So uh...is there anything in particular you want?

>>7654302
>meanwhile on a seperate, ""'secure"" comms channel
'Commander, we're overwhelmed! We're barely holding the city center and we're having troop defections at all ranks! Half the fucking Guard's AWOL!'
'Nimbasa's lost, sir! We're falling back along the Routes to a choke point!'
'Zhang reporting. I am advancing in a new direction, through the foes between me and our lines.'

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>>7654370
you are way too slow man, I support you and all, but this shit's going to be over by the end of the day at this rate. Kanto is flying supplies to the rebels and said rebels are already winning

>>7654395
...as seen here.

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>>7654390
Hmm...
The perfect gift?
...
Well...This is sort of weird to say, but...How about someplace really cool to explore? I've always wanted to do that with somebody.

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>>7654302
More like Eric Guano because in the end, you're just a piece of shit.

>>7654395
Music to my ears

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>>7654360
The metal side.

>>7654368
I don't rightly care about Pokemon rights right now. All the Pokemon in Unova can go fuck off to Glitch City for all I care. What I care about is if my country is safe. And right now, it's being destroyed by everything from you fucks to some fucks over in Almia.

>>7654395
Gahd dammit, do I have to go over there myself and straighten you fucks out?! Because I would if I weren't the fucking President.

Speaking of which, Secret Service is saying I need to fuck off and head to some bunker and hide like a fucking coward.

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>>7654413
All the better. It'll be over before night fall, thus meaning I will never have to actually go put on clothing.

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>>7654454
Whoops. Looks like I accidentally redirected my shipment of mega stones to Unovan rebels.
What a shame.

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>>7654454
You're fucking dead.

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>>7654454
I swear to Arceus, this dumbass is a redneck with a few more words in his vocabulary.

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>>7654476
Need I remind you of who I am? I'm the fucking President of Unova.

I can strip you of your title faster than you can say Nimbasa. Which, speaking of, you're no longer an Elite Four member.

Have fun with that.

>>7654476
you alright dude?

>>7654454
'Zhang here! Someone's given the rebels our comms codes! Everything below Central is compromised!'
>scanning...
'Hold this bridge, men! I don't care what you see, you don't take a step forward or ba- wait, is that Thorpe!? CHARGE!'
>scanning...
'Radio Free Nimbasa here, with a gift for the outgoing administration's supportive troops. I call it, "The Valve Fic." Small children, get off this channel now.'
>scanning...

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>>7654497
And you're no longer our president.
How funny. It's almost like I still have my position.
>>7654502
Yes.

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>>7654423
I'd love that. Although I'm not sure Orre is the right region to be in for exploration, there's not really too much here.
I mean there's the old S.S. Libra wreck, I've never been in there before, there's also a forest near Agate that might be nice to wander about in.
There might even be some interesting places underground, assuming my memory is good.

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>>7654497
who are you?
and why are you bullying that wierrd greninja?

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>>7654514
>The Valve Fic
...oh boy, am I glad it didn't get forgotten now.

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I always knew the secretary of agriculture had some sort of agenda.
Can't trust farmers.
>>7654514
>Valve Fic.
Dirty.

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>>7654523
Are you certain about that?
>>7654538
>Greninja
.... Uh. Have you seen a Greninja before?
>>7654564
Do I want to know?

>>7654514
>Valve Fic
OH GOD I REMEMBER THIS
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>7654588
>Can't trust farmers.
who hurt you?

>>7654534
That forest sounds nice-
>Perks up
>Curious bug sounds
S.S Libra?
-Yanmega

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>>7654629
>Confused Hyena sounds
Valve??
Azoth??
What is fic??

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>>7654614
kinda i read about it in a book
and he he kinda fits the descripition
especially those things in his side of the head

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>>7654523
I'm sorry, under whose authority did I get my presidency revoked?

>>7654514
Gahd dammit. Shut down all radio transmission and communicate through Psychic pokemon or something, I dunno.

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>>7654614
Yes. Alder has more power than this man.
>>7654633
Farmers did.
>>7654672
The people? Alder?
My grandmother?

>>7654672
(Seriously, Saltpeter's player here, how the fuck am I supposed to extend this war on for a fucking week)

>>7654685
(You don't have to necessarily make it a week, just as long as you possibly can, you're doing good)

>>7654629
Radio Free Nimbasa's drowning out loyalist comms with it, and we're past the foreplay.
>scanning...
'Zhang to Central, our comms are unu-'
"HE PULLED HIS THROBBING COCK OUT OF THE CHIMERA'S STOMACH, STILL DRIPPING-"
'Switching to Psychic comms!'

>>7654685
'New strategy, men. Mobile tactics, we make this land hell to hold.'

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>>7654664
.... you mean hair?
>>7654681
Glad to hear it. What happened to Iris being the champion?

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>>7654645
Yeah, the Libra is a ship that somehow ended up in the middle of the desert, ripped apart pretty badly too.
I never found out how or why, I can only assume Cipher had something to do with it.

Maybe it has some cool stuff lying around still, maybe it's just a creepy shipwreck in a desert, I dunno. Want to go check it out together?

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>>7654760
I would love to.
>Excited bug noises
It sounds really neat.

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>>7654747
yeah that, it has the shape that is described in the books

Alright this is Mobile Task Force Alpha moving into Nimbasa City.
No mercy.
Take no hostages

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>>7654747
Went off with some kid in a stupid hat.
Who promptly died.
I have no idea where she is now.
>>7654790
Can you not?

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We got visuals from cameras around Nimbasa now.

>>7654790
>it's a Nimbasa getting besieged episode

>>7654614
I don't think you want to know.

>>7654662
Pay no attention to that channel please.

>>7654790
'Zhang reporting. My team is moving towards your position - city center is too heavily occupied to rendezvous with allied forces. At least the insipid fool with the terrible script has stopped...'
>Evens, Zhang gets clear. Odds, something bad happens based on the number

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>>7654775
What are we waiting for then, let's get going!
...Would you mind carrying me again?

The wreck is near the Cipher lab, I can direct you if we get lost.

>>7654790
>>7654717
>>7654836
Read you loud and clear.
This is Aerial Mobile Task Force Beta, gonna do a bombing run on rogues in Nimbasa. Over.

>Rolling for bombing run

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>>7654816
explain this

>>7654877
You can tell it's obviously a ditto dumbass, get your eyes checked.

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>>7654857
I don't mind.
>Picks up Sandslash
>Lifts him into the air, and starts flying towards the Cipher lab
I remember where the lab is, at least.
Where do I turn?

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>>7654877
IT'S A DITTO.

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>>7654816
... Ash is dead? This is what I get for literally living under a rock.
>>7654877
... I'm going to pretend I never saw that.
>>7654830
You're right, I probably don't.

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>>7654717
Hello Radio Free Nimbasa, new listener here with a very special databurst through packet radio incoming! I've held onto this for way too long.

>transmitted "The Valve Fic part 2"
>I'm going to fucking hell for this

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This is Thomas Thorpe, Unovan PD Commander.
Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

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>>7654830
Why??
>Curious hyena sounds
>>7654717
Cock??
Chicken??
Why Azoth??
Pull chicken out of friend's valve??
Why??

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>>7654925
also mister why do you look like a greninja?

>>7654985
Radio Free Nimbasa here, the bombing raid missed our antenna. We dug our personnel in after last time, so if we go dark we've still got a shot at living.
Oh, fuck, this is some spicy stuff. Let's introduce it to military channels.

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>>7654940
Yes you need to get out more. Did you hear about the killchips?
Or... Anything?
>>7655016
It's a style.

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>>7654923
Thanks.
The wreck is a little bit east of the lab, we should be able to see it from the air once we're above the lab.

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I got Kanto off it's ass with Dave's help, supplies have been sent overseas to the rebels in Unova.
I'm just gonna sit back and fuck around with the few things Arceus let me keep from that bullet hell.

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>>7655039
..... the what?
I just got back from a several month long cavern exploration, so forgive me if I'm not caught up on current events.

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>>7655039
you are pretty cool looking mister, and that dress looks good on you

>>7654987
>scanning...
"Private Calhoun to anyone listening! Target sighted, requesting reinforcements! I repeat, Thorpe is h-"
>Loud static, with references to a valve interspersed in the distortion
"FUCK!"
>scanning...

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>>7655083
Oh Arceus you're behind.
Killchips near the base of the brain. Delivered a miniature electric shock for an instant kill.
They aren't relevant anymore but now I see why a kid and hist Dustox had to destroy a factory of the things.
>>7655095
Would you like to play a game?
I'm going to flip a coin. If you can guess whether it's landed heads or tails I'll give you a prize.

>>7655043
>Arrives above the lab
>Yanmega circles around it, looking into the distance
Which way is it?
>Roll for if she notices the wreck
-Yanmega

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>>7655133
sure
i'll bet on tails
tails never fails

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>>7654992
Sorry doggo but we're conducting psychological warfare here.

>>7655031
Glad to hear you still kicking. FREE NIMBASA

>>7655083
In just under a month and a half the world went insane, many adventures were had by many and also some fucked politicians in Unova attempted to get every single domesticated pokemon fitted with killchips and all wild 'mons culled. That didn't last long but their army is still sore.

Aerial Mobile Task Force Beta reporting, gonna go in for another pass. Something tells me I didn't get all of 'em.

>The soldier then shouts above the din of his plane

All right! Liberty, use Draco Meteor!

>>7655112
"F.E.A.R. team in position. Let's see him take us on."

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>>7655058
Hey uh...sorry about not helping out earlier.
I wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind when I decided to go to that weird place, I just heard something about killing my past and jumped at it.
At least until I realised what a terrible idea that would be.

>>7655141
It should be away from Mt Battle, over that way.
>points in the vague direction of the shipwreck
>odds = Sandslash can see it from here
>evens = I mean, it's over there somewhere, probably

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>>7655133
>>7655175
...oh. Good thing I put my Mega Stones in with this revolution.
Dialga, I'm so confused.
Grimsley, weren't you a fellow suit enthusiast last I saw you...? Where... Why the kimono?

>>7655202
Okay then...
>Yanmega flies in that direction
>Evens, she finds the shipwreck
>Odds, keep looking
-Yanmega

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>>7655158
Lucky lucky. You guessed right.
How's a donation of P1,000,000 sound for a prize?
>>7655228
Forgive me I'm still dressed for the casual Friday event.
...
From two weeks ago.

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>>7655264
w-wow maybe with that money we can reform the house
thanks mister, you're so generous

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>>7655245
Um...maybe it's behind one of those sand dunes over there?
>points in a different direction
>odds = it is, Sandslash's memory was close enough
>evens = nope, Sandslash has no idea where it is

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>>7655228
hey i like suits
can i join the club

>>7655193
>3
>A Lycanroc leaps over the team's Pokemon and tries to savage the Trainers!
'AMBUSH!!'

>>7655332
Aerial Beta moving in for assistance. Liberty, Draco Meteor.

>>7655332
>F.E.A.R. Team's Response
'HOLD STEADY! ARON, TOXIC!'
>Dub Odds, panic reaction kills another Trainer, dub evens kill one of the opposing team

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>>7655322
Not an issue. I don't use much of it anyway.
>>7655330
How do you feel about fairy types?

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>>7655264
.... two weeks ago.
Why would you...?
Have you just been busy...?
>>7655330
The suits enthusiast club doesn't discriminate. Welcome.

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>>7655377
most of my team is still or fire so
theyre shit
>>7655379
sweet

>>7655376
>Toxic connects!
>The Lycanroc staggers, and renews the attack with the help of a sneaky-ass Gumshoos.
>They're trying to bypass the Pokemon entirely.

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>>7655403

>>7655403
(Whoops. *Steel)

>>7655326
>Flies around aimlessly
You sure it's around here?
-Yanmega

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>>7655379
... Yes! Very busy.
Forgive me, I've changed now.
...
And showered.
>>7655403
Welcome to the club then.

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>>7655414
cool
gonna come do something about it
kinda been looking for a battle
>>7655427
double sweet
what do we do here

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>>7655377
mama will be so happy

>>7655406
>F.E.A.R. Team: Losing Trainers way too fucking fast.
>Rolling to retaliate!

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>>7655440
Probably not I'm not as stupid as Jamie to pick a fight with you

>>7655449
>Policefag himself staggers up behind the team. The Pokemon are panicking and the Trainers can't hit shit in close combat.
>Rolling to finish the job.

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>>7655457
Oh dear. Did Jamie attempt to fisticuffs someone?

>>7655473
>TARGET SIGHTED
Light 'em up!
>fuck you policefag you've cheated death for too long.

>>7655449
>>7655473
>Aerial Beta flies over them again
>Kingdra used Flash Cannon on Policefag and co.

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>>7655480
Nah but couple days ago she got in a spat with this kid despite the fact that there was no way in hell she'd win an actual fight.

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>>7655440
We talk about how cool suits are and plan... What? World domination? But with suits?
>>7655445
I'll be happy to play for a higher bet another time.

I have to help with a bit of an issue.

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>>7655424
...I could have sworn it was here.
>Sandslash is looking around desperately
>one last roll to see if he can spot it
>odds = spots it just before giving up
>evens = still nothing, how disappointing

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I'm so confused about everything
The news is very conflicted

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>>7655427
.... you didn't shower for two weeks?
I suppose I really can't make any comments on that, considering my cavern adventure did not involve showers either.
>>7655440
Enjoy suits, judge people of lesser fashion, ect.

>>7655490
>Policefag dives for cover!
>Somebody's dying unless even dubs happen - the dice determine how many survivors there are...

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>>7655457
who the fuck is jamie

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>>7655576
The jolteon that shit talked you.

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>Tree sees something in the distance while he is patrolling the castle
>he goes off to investigate it and gets lost
>he is never heard from again

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>>7655500
well sorry i'm not old enough to gamble so i won't do it for a while sorry mister

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...There seems to be some people missing...
Bork is here, so is Coco, so is Vapey, and Charles...
Jamie left, Glace is still sleeping or looking for that gun or something...
Where's Shiny?

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>>7655585
nah dude
never talked to a jolteon
almost beat the shit out of a vulpix in fuchsia though
>>7655549
>>7655500
okay sweet
whats the best suit color

>>7653117

I want to know what Sylveon's butt smells like.

>>7655490
>Scanning...
'Beta Wing command to Beta-2, good shot. That FEAR team was dead men walking anyway.'
>scanning...

"Radio Free Nimbasa to anyone listening. Thorpe is MIA, government forces bombed their own troops to get at him..."

>>7655509
Are you sure this shipwreck is here?
-Yanmega

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>>7655499
That sounds unwise... I'm glad she decided against it. Where did she go?
>>7655609
Jamie left?
>>7655616
It's different for each Sylveon, why?

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>>7655549
Well I did now. So let's call it a win.
Leaving the League now. I swear Caitlin is always sleeping.
>>7655604
Neither was I my first time.
>>7655613
Personally I'm a fan of red or black.

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>>7655613
Huh well, you humans all look alike to me.
>>7655641
Jamie left after another fight about bundles of sticks and children.
>>7655616
Try snorting a pixie stick and you'll find out kid.

>>7655550
>A handful of survivors drag themselves out of the blast zone. There's too much dust in the air to tell whose side they're on as they crawl into cover, hiding from the open sky.
>(Evens: 1 dead, most of the rest are KOed)

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>>7655641
Apparently so.
But she already friendzoned me before she left so I don't feel too horrible.
Still feel like shit because of that awkward as fuck bath though.

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>>7655639
Yeah, I can see it!
I knew it was around here somewhere.
>Sandslash points directly at the shipwreck and wonders how he didn't spot it sooner

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>>7655646
it is, i'm sorry for me taking your money mister

>Roll to stow something.

>>7655690
That's...Quite impressive.
>Sets Sandslash down on the deck of the ship
>Lands next to him
Doesn't look like many people have looted this place...
Think we'll find something useful?
-Yanmega

>>7655701
>Fumble the object.
>Move deeper into the wreck.
>Roll to stow again.

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>>7655600
>Watches the tree wander off into the desert
...Well, that's certainly new.

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T-This is Thorpe...
The cities... are secure.
It looks l-like... we've pretty m-much won.
Policefag o-out.

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...I'm kinda considering going out there to support things more directly

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>>7655613
I like black suits. I have yet to find a scenario where a black suit cannot be worn.
>>7655646
... Is she alright?

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>>7655800
>Poke the human.

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>>7655727
Yeah, it's a nice ship. Maybe one day someone can get it fixed up...
Not sure if we'll find anything useful inside, but at least we'll be able to explore together for a bit on our own.

Anyone seen Zigzagoon recently?
Are they still stuck in that master ball from like a week ago?

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>>7655698
Again. No issue.
I don't do take backsies.
>>7655807
I poked her on the way out and she told me to go away.
She should be fine.

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>>7655814
...oh, hello, who are you?
>clutch the magic bullets hanging around his neck

>>7655767
I'm pretty sure I saw him guarding a castle the other day, wonder what got into him.
Anyways, do you have any more potential leads on rare pokemon for me. Given the chaos going down in Unova right now my boss is wanting me to finish up here and get back soon.

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>>7655834
Um. S-shaaadow?

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>>7655833
i know you said that i hope it wasn't too bad for you mister
when the money arrives i'll give it to mama so she can reform the house because it's a bit old

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>>7655831
(ooc answer is I have no idea, as far as I know he's not posted since then)
I got him out of the Master Ball, I don't remember if he followed us out of the Cipher lab though.
Maybe he's still in the lab somewhere?
Yanmega and I can go check if you want.

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>>7655835
Uh, no. I need to get going now, and it sounds like you probably should too. Goodbye, strange trenchcoat wearing lucario~
>Fucks off towards what's left of Pyrite town

>>7655879
Nah, I just wondered because they were cute.

>>7655815
Yeah, this is nice.
>Starts exploring the ship with Sandslash
>Carries him over holes in the floor
This would make a really nice ship if it was repaired.
Plus, the desert helped preserve it somewhat.
Maybe one day...It could go onto the ocean again.
-Yanmega

i want jirachi and bones to fug

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>>7655833
Where are you headed? I've been told there's not much around the Unova League except an abandoned castle.

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>>7655915
why are you like this

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>>7655844
...Shadow, okay
what are you doin here?
>an aegislash looks at him from behind the man, who is currently wearing a long red scarf, with his brown coat, and has a pistol holstered on his right hip, he has three things hung on a necklace: a large golden shotgun shell, a smaller silver pistol bullet etched with red runes, and a brass key
>he toys with the silver bullet as he talks

Fuschiafag here...
Oh, lord.
I think I'm going to go crazy here.
Well, crazier than I already am.

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>>7655942
You strong?
Follow friend? Fight?

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>>7655926
I was going to help with the whole revolution thing. But it seems to be done for now.
I suppose I'll go gamble. Maybe get drunk and play some strip poker.

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>>7655896
Indeed. I hope the little guy's alright, wherever he is.

>>7655901
Looks like it yeah.
Not sure how anyone would get this thing back across the desert though.
It might be a cool place to live in though, plenty of room for the two of us.
>odds = Sandslash manages to find the captain's quarters while wandering around
>evens = finds the cargo hold

>>7655989
With enough pokemon, and the right equipment, we could probably move it somehow.
...
Did you find something?
>Flutters over
-Yanmega

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>>7655978
Uh...
>click
>he twirls his revolver, rapidly loading it with real bullets
Sure, I can fight. Cali, ready for another adventure?
>the sword wraps around him
Let's go

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>>7656074
>He grabs the gym leader's pant leg and leads him to a shadowy corner.
>To the battlefield.
>Evens: They end up somewhere safe. Odds: They get separated and both are put somewhere dangerous.

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>>7656006
Oh I'm sure it's possible, it would just take a lot of work.
Also I think I found the captain's quarters...
>roll to search for loot
>1-4 = Sandslash finds a bunch of expensive looking wine
>5-8 = Sandslash finds the captain's diary
>9-0 = Sandslash finds the captain's laptop

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>>7656120
>shadow stepping is weird as fug
>he wraps the scarf around his face against the sudden cold
>thank god he just got the biggest crash course on gunplay ever
>he twirls his revolver again and looks for where he's needed, Cali the aegislash watching his six

>>7656147
Huh...Is that...A diary?
Who did it belong to?
-Yanmega

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>>7656191
Well since this is the captain's quarters, I think it's the captain's diary.
>Sandslash flips through a few pages, although the handwriting is illegible
...I have no idea what this says, the captain has weird handwriting.
>Sandslash puts the diary back down and wanders off to go search some of the other rooms

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>>7655988
There's no casinos nearby my League, so throw in a round for me.

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Could you guys point me to the nearest source of brains?

>>7656337
>Points at Colress
He's your dude, dude.

>>7656337
You will find no brains here, only an empty sea of autism.
Here's your (You), we're not doing another crossover event today.

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>>7656294
I've always wondered. Do you have anything interesting to wager? Besides your family fortune.
>>7656337
Stay out of Unova. They're few and far between here.

>>7656289
>Yanmega pokes around rooms with him
>1-4, she finds a locked door.
>5-8, she finds a sealed safe
>0 or 9, she finds the mess hall

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>>7656337
Nope, but now you're a Parasect.

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Hey, uh, where can I find/get a mega stone?
Just the stone, not a bracelet or anything, I've got that covered.

>>7656465
For your boyf? Doesn't he already have a stone?
I don't think Alolawaks have stones yet.

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>>7656380
It's weird how most of these rooms are intact still.
I wonder...
>Sandslash checks a fridge
>dubsodds = oh there's food in there, not sure why you thought it'd be anything but completely rotten and disgusting by now though
>dubs = nah, empty fridge
>evens = some berries, some sealed packets of meat
>dubsevens = fully stocked fridge, almost as if someone lives here

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>>7656495
No, no, the uh, the one that makes them work.
I don't know what it's called if I said the wrong thing.

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>>7656374
Gemstones, fossils, mega stones... But it really depends on

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>>7656529
....what you see as interesting.

>>7656515
Oooh. I don't think they have a name. I'll just call it a focusing stone for convenience.
Pretty sure you have to get them specially in Kalos or pay out the ass for shipping.
Also if you jury rigged up a bracelet iiiiit might not work. Be careful.

>>7656501
The desert probably helped preserve it.
...
This place is really nice. Nice enough to live in...
Hmm...Could we maybe make this a secondary, or "backup" base?
-Yanmega