ITT: Pokemon are real.
What was your first pokemon?
Info: http://pastebin.com/2NuRCUiW
>>7477239
Death.
>>7477239
krooks was my first pokemon
he was a sandile at the time though
>>7477180
>Evens: Everyone who didn't respond to this post gets an Dead exact copy of their Waifu dropped on them, the real waifus are still alive though, these are just immitations
>odds:The waifus are alive
THEY'REGOINGTOEATME
WHAT HAPPENED
I AM DIFFERENT
AAAA
>>7477282
(you)
>>7477282
>Burnt out Genesect husk.
>...
>Say hello to Unit Six.
>>7477239
Lune, met her out in the wilds of Unova when I was like, six, scared off some spearow for her and she joined up with me afterrwards. She was an Eevee then though.
I hope otherr me is taking good carre of her, noticed he hadn't posted in a while, maybe he's busy with the Gym stuff.
>Pulls the next batch of waffles out and sets them on a plate, also remembering to pull out the butter and syrup
>>7477282
>Sighs with relief that this didn't happen to him
>>7477293
(mate finding freshly dead bodies in this world should be pretty fukkin easy and most pokemon of the same species look identical, not even Hoopa's player just sayin)
>>7477293
...
The fire stone worked.
You look good to me.
>>7477239
Either my Magneton or my Porygon2, depending on the definition of "your"
>>7477196
If you go for Ice Beam I have a spare TM I can send via Porygon2. Yeah, one of those old ass one use TMs.
>>7477282
I have no waifu, gg no re
>>7477239
A Snivy that was a reject from a breeding project. His name is 'Versailles', he's a Serperior now.
>>7477283
Well. I might.
>>7477293
How goes the extra tails?
Kokkuri thought the change was really cool.
>>7477282
>He eats the body
>He didn't even see what it was
>He just eats it right there
>>7477293
Here have an apology, just can't not go though with threats when you make them, ya dig?
>Hoop
>Evens: Ninetails gets cake hooped right in front of it
>odds: the Cake is fake, its just a plastic statue of a cake
>Lille reaches into her bag.
>Gives everyone a nugget.
>Evens: It's gold. Odds: It's brown...
>>7477336
(you got the wrong message i replied so the evens thing did not happen. My bad.)
>>7477361
It is cool! I am just adjusting this is weird...
But cool!
>blows flames everywhere
>>7477337
I uuh
>all embarrassed
Thanks, You uhh... still look great to me!
Thanks for being here with me!
>hugs
>>7477380
thanks!
>shares cake with slugma
>>7477381
>sniff... sniff-
I am not touching that.
>>7477381
>The man is much too happy working on his new robot to notice the brown nugget.
>>7477239
I have no Pokemo-
>>7477282
>A dead Darkrai lands on him and snaps his antenna
>He looks upset as he grabs the funeral materials
unlîf âgnian wægn sibgeornes orgilde mîn sefa hwæðere nâteðæshwôn mîn âsendan brêostloca
.. / .- -- / - .-. -.-- .. -. --. / -.- .. -. -.. -. . ... ... / .--. .-. . ... . -. - .-.. -.--
>UNIT FIVE:DELIVER A BOTTLE OF COKE TO EVERY POSTER
>EVENS: IT IS ACTUALLY COKE. ODDS: IT IS GASOLINE
>>7477282
>PANICKED BEEPING
>FOREIGN OBJECT: COLLIDED WITH HEAD FROM ABOVE
>OBJECT IDENTIFIED AS: CORPSE
>CORPSE IDENTIFIED AS: COLRESS
>VOCALIZER: GLITCHED: SHUT OFF TO PREVENT FURTHER DAMAGE
>PANICKED BEEPING
>>7477239
I do not have any pokemon.
>>7477282
>A dead Dusknoir flops into the grass and quickly evaporates.
>Horrible void sobbing.
>>7477613
>drinks all of it
>burps
>forest fire
....
uh uh uh uh
>panicked
>>7477239
Zoroark was the first Pokémon to accompany me on Plasma missions.
>Lays on his stomach and continues to eat waffles
Though Darmanitan was the first Pokémon I actually met, as well as being the first one to defend me from a wild Pokémon.
>>7477613
Thank you Unit Five.
>Drink gasoline.
>...
>Is that what Coke tastes like?
>>7477622
Unit One?
>>7477662
>Looks at forest fire
That's probably bad...
What should we do?
>>7477668
>Gladitto sees an opportunity
Operation French fry sandwich is a go, the beanstalk is lying down.
>Sit on N's back and play with his hair
>>7477282
>No, no not [redacted]
>Panicked tree noises
>>7477681
>PANICKED BEEPING
>CONFUSED BEEPING
>PROCESSOR OVERLOAD
>ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?
>SHUT DOWN NECESSARY
>>7477689
UUHH
UUUUHHH
UUUHHHHHH
>panicking intensifies
>>7477282
>no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
>its not there its not there its not there its not there
>youre hallucinating its not there
>hahahahahahaha
>>7477381
>ignores the pile of shit because it landed in the toilet bowl
>>7477613
...uh, thanks?
>doesn't drink coke anyways so he just sets the can down
>>7477668
>>7477714
Heh, maybe I should get some chicken so you can make a chicken and waffle sandwich to go with your french fry and lettuce sandwich.
>Pulls out the third batch of waffles
>>7477613
Well, time to clean up some stuff.
>>7477767
>Shut down.
I'll get rid of th-
...
>Colress grabs a bonesaw and a jar of formaldehyde.
>>7477779
Okay, uh, calm down...
We could call somebody...
Like, the police or fire department.
I can't use a phone, though.
>>7477613
>ghetsis uses the Gasoline to Torch a Nearby Mcdonalds, thus reducing the amount of competition
>>7477833
>looking out the window
>what seems to be a robot setting itself on fire near a McDonalds
>>7477820
>running around slugma panicked.
THE PHONE
YOU ARE A GENIUS
>runs indoors grabs the phone
>...
>paw hits 3 different buttons at the same time
WHAT IS THE NUMBER FOR FIRE?
>>7477884
666-420-BLAZE
>>7477884
I think it's 9-1-1...
Could you use your tails to push the buttons?
>>7477906
>>7477907
>attempts to dial 911
>keeps clumsily hitting more than 1 button
>finally gets through
>.....
>'911 what's your emergency?'
>.....
>loud ninetales noises
THEY DO NOT SPEAK POKEMON
>UNIT TWO: RECEIVE STRANGE CORPSE
>[REDACTED]
>UNIT TWO: WIPE MEMORY LOGS
>>7477999
Hello You have Reached McGhetsis burgers Please place your order and I will be there shortly
>>7478031
>panicking ninetales noises
HEY HELP!
FIRE!
>>7477999
...
Why would they make a line only humans can use?
>Tries to say "fire" into the phone
>Lava is accidentally spat onto the phone, melting it
...
Crap. This is bad...
>Fire starts to creep towards the house
This is really, really bad.
>>7478060
>>7478078
\
>UNIT FIVE: APPEAR ON THE SCENE
>UNIT FIVE: ACTION: HELP
>DOUSE DRIVE: TECHNOBLAST
>>7478078
oh
nonononononono-
>>7478088
YES
>the fire is shrinking in size
>>7478060
>>7478103
Got it one Flame Grilled Ghetsis burger and Soda
Please wait
>few minutes later later
Go go Ghetsis, Burger and Coke
>evens: McGhetsis dispenses a flame grilled burger, fries and Coke to the Ninetails
>odds: McGhetsis Preforms his own version of a flamethrower on the surrounding area followed by what apears to be charred remains of a burger and fries getting dispensed
>Dubs: there is a lot of whatever the result is
>>7478103
>UNIT FIVE: RECEIVE PRAISE
>UNIT FIVE: CONTINUE HELPING
>>7478103
That's great...
Things will be okay.
>>7478088
>Breathes a sigh of relief
Thank you...
>Water splashes near Slugma
Oh crap-
>Evens, he mamages to dodge it
>Odds, he is hit by it, and cooled
>>7478134
>eats the delicious McGhetsis meal
>McGhetsis truly is the best fast food
>>7478197
>gently flames to attempt to heat back up
>evens it works
>odds i can not flame
>>7478149
>Grabs bucket of water to help!
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>7478197
... --- .-. .-. -.--
>>7478224
>UNIT FIVE: DOUSE DRIVE A BIT MORE CAREFULLY
>>7478224
>Gasps as his body heats back up
Thank you...
>Coughs up rock/ash
Ugh...Might lie down for a bit...
>>7477714
>N shivers at having his hair touched
.... What are you...
>Focus on the waffles
>don't panic dont panic dont freak out
>Sabi: Freak the fuck out
>>7478263
I will be in there after this fire!
>>7478248
THANK YOU, FRIEND!
>throws another bucket on fire
Hey guys my Mimikyu's looking fatter than normal, what should I do?
>>7478333
>THE BUCKET WAS GASOLINE
>UNIT FIVE: EMOTE AT THIS DEVELOPMENT
-.-. --- .-.. .-. . ... ... / .... --- .-.. -.-- / ..-. ..- -.-. -.-
>DOUSE DRIVE: TECHNOBLAST
>>7478333
>The bucket contains Acetone
>>7478355
>DOUSE DRIVE: MALFUNCTION
>DOUSE DRIVE: SPRAY FIRE
>UNIT FIVE: GIVE IN TO DESPAIR
>>7478355
WHO PUT GAS IN THIS BUTCKET?!
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
>>7478379
:^/
>Evens he dumps a lake's worth of fresh water on the fire
>Odds he butt tricks everyone
>>7478355
>>7478333
Wow you guys really fucked up
>evens: Water is mass Hooped on the fire
>odds Whoops more gasoline
>>7478392
>UNIT FIVE: EMBRACE DEATH
>UNIT FIVE: ACTION: HEAD INTO FLA-
>>7478402
>>7478406
>UNIT FIVE: BE DRENCHED
>>7478392
>>7478379
WHAT DO WE DO?
>Starts to panic
>Spreads lava everywhere
>>7478402
>>7478406
Crap-
>Is completely solidified
>Not dead yet
>But will be in a few minutes
>>7478402
>>7478406
>divine intervention success.
>am soaking wet
>...
>trainers house has minor burn damage
How am I going to explain this t-
>>7478434
AAAAAAAAAAAA
>panicked flamethrower
>>7478434
>UNIT FIVE: OVERCHARGE
>ACTION: SIGNAL BEAM AT 1500K
>>7478434
>:^/ really nigga
wheres my thanks famalamallama
>Evens he dumps Slugma and Ninetales in a volcano to heal up
>Odds he butt tricks everyone
>>7478434
>more fireblasts and flamethrowers
>scorching the area
>>7478471
>bisexual pleasured zangoose noises
>shit if that happens again there's going to be a mess
>>7478459
>Accidentally melts the statue of slugma and Vulpix
>>7478473
>Statue is further melted
>>7478460
>Is rendered red hot
>Starts to soften
...
>Groans
>>7478501
(tfw forget image)
>>7478471
>Gay science noises
WHY
>>7478471
Define "everyonEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>7478471
>Very loud moan and a strong shiver
>He sets the waffle plate next to the bed before something bad happens to it
>>7478471
>gay moan
>gay panting
ffuck why
>>7478503
>runs over and hugs tightly
ARE YOU OKAY?!
>>7478460
THANKS!
>>7478471
Do that again and I will climb up your ass and tear out your prostate with my bare hands
>>7478560
-. --- / .--. .-. --- -... .-.. . --
>UNIT FIVE: FLY OFF
>>7478560
>Shakily hugs back
>Groans
I hate water...
>Chuckles weakly
>Coughs up ash and rock chunks
>>7478288
Someone likes having the-
>>7478471
>Gay copycat sounds
>Thankfully not messing with N's hair at this moment
>>7478564
ha
gaaaaaaay
>>7478501
>gay god sounds heard across the planet
>>7478591
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE ARE YOU?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_LjI8mzKqk
>Make a pentagram of sugar
>Burns three bats in the middle
>Smashes a ghost with a fourth bat
>>7478488
>dubs confirm the zangoose is 100% bisexual now
>>7478533
>>7478540
>>7478606
...Palkia this isn't funny
>lies on the ground panting as he recovers from the butt trick
>>7478629
I don't...
>Cough
Think so...
I got really tired all of a sudden...
>Faints
>>7478647
>pick up zang
>bring to gladion/dittoion/N pity party
come on its pity party time
>>7478647
In a completely and definitely unexpected turn of events!
>>7478606
>Well he isn't going anywhere with this Ditto sitting on his back
>>7478647
>>7478675
>Shoves his face into the pillow to muffle any betrayal from his vocal chords
>>7478668
.....
>finds another phone
>attempts to dial 911 again
>evens works
>odds i hit callback to McGhetsis
>>7478636
>Evens he contributes summoning materials
>Odds everyone gets another butt trick
>>7478718
>hug the N
>>7478743
>really loud gay moan
>panting
>>7478743
>More confused noises.
>>7478743
>trying to carry the slugma to the local, partially burnt pokecenter.
.....
>falls over squirming and making weird fox noises
>>7478740
...
>>7478743
>Is fainted
>Does not notice
>>7478743
>confused zap bug moan
>>7478743
I swear to god you're actually practicing thesEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>more confused looks from Jay and Hal
>>7478743
S-stop that my steelix i-
>steelix falls over on brock with erotic pleasure
>>7478790
>stands up still legs trembling from palkia
>hauls ass all the way to pokecenter
>>7478743
>Welp now there's a mess in the bed
>Along with an aroused, but not amused, Zangoose
God DAMNIT PALKIA
>>7478761
>Manages to turn enough to return a hug, face nestled into the spot when the neck meets the shoulder
>>7478743
>Muffled lewd sounds and N digging his nails into Gladion's back
>Zekrom roars in the background
>>7478860
...
>>7478876
>oh god thats zangoose cum
>>7478878
ah ow
hey babe
fuck
>>7478743
>Gay as fuck moaning
... I'm just gonnaaaa....
>Runs off to the bathroom
>>7478743
>Confused sobbing.
>>7478904
See we made it!
>the pokecenter is missing the roof
uuuh that should be fine.
>pokecenter takes slugma and revives
>worried ninetales noises
>>7478918
Sorrry
I kinda couldn't help it...
>Curls up into ball of shame
>>7478876
At this rate there will be not a single clean towel or bedsheet on the frigate
>>7478965
>just
>help the zangoose clean up i guess
>im too far gone in the niceness
>>7478918
...........
>Carefully remove fingers from back
>He's not trusting himself to speak right now
>>7478743
I am going to rip out your prostate, then cram your fat ass into a legend ball and then dump it into the middle of the ocean
> Grabs his shit and leaves the house
>>7478963
>Machine is partially burnt
>Breaks down halfway through the healing process
>They hand slugma back to Ninetales
I feel like crap...
>Groans
>>7479003
Translated from the owtheedginesse: "I am not receiving enough butt tricks"
>>7478992
...T-thanks
>Cleans up as quickly as possible because oh god this is embarrassing
>>7479016
But you are not dead!
>hugs
>>7479003
try me famalamahamadam
don't make me butt trick everyone again
>Evens Silver gets transported naked into the middle of a gay porn shoot
>Odds more butt tricks for everyone
>>7478998
>kiss boyfriend
>>7479046
>done
you feel better now?
>>7479063
Guess I'm not, huh...
That's good.
>Hugs back
Let's just go home.
And eat something.
-Slugma
>>7479077
No I feel horrrible and horrrrrny afterrrr that. My emotions arre all overr the place rrrright now.
Palkia why did you do that.
Morrrre imporrrtantly when did he get betterrrrr at it.
>UNIT TWO: REPORT
... . ...- . -. / ... .--. . -.-. .. -- . -. ... / --. .- - .... . .-. . -..
.-. . - ..- .-. -. .. -. --. / - --- / -.-. --- .-.. .-. . ... ...
>>7479064
What the fuck did you just fucking do to me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the pokemon school, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Aether, and I have over 300 confirmed Badges. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top trainer in the entire Johto. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the regions and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my pokemon hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Team Rocket and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” prank was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead
>>7479077
>Kiss the boyfriend back
>Evens normal kiss
>Odds It's kalosian
>>7479119
uh you wanna go like take care of that and come b-
>>7479161
>that is definitely tongue
>add tongue back
>>7479113
haha yeah I am really hungry.
You look like you could use some food... you got smaller by the way...
>>7479140
haha you meme loving shit
>Evens Silver is in a bukkake Gay Pokephilia shoot
>Odds more butt tri- nah jk odds Silver gains dragontitsless' boobs for a few hours
Fuschiafag here.
I go to work for one shift.
One shift.
Everything is singed.
Looks like this is my life now.
>>7479197
...Yep I'll be back laterrr
>Locks himself in the bathrrroom
>>7479215
>UNIT FIVE: OFFER HELP
>UNIT FIVE: GIVE WAD OF BILLS
>EVENS: REAL. ODDS: COUNTERFEIT.
>>7479254
Heh... T-Thanks.
>Fuschiafag is slightly intimidated by robug, but appreciates the gesture.
>>7479064
>>7479214
Reminder to self: track down these two shoots for blackmailing purposes.
>>7479232
Told you you needed more cold water showers.
>>7479214
I.
WILL.
ANNIHILATE .
YOU.
>grabs a nearby lamp
AFTER I MURDER EVERYONE IN THIS FUCKING PHOTO SHOOT.
>Starts smashing pornstars skulls in with it
>>7479267
-.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / .-- . .-.. -.-. --- -- .
>UNIT FIVE: FLY AWAY
>>7479296
>Is grab
>SCREECHING
>>7479207
>Is a quarter of the size he was before
I'm really hungry...And tired.
I just hope your trainer isn't mad...
-Slugma
>>7479296
Thorpe reporting.
Random assault in the red-light district? Well, fuck.
I'm on my way.
>Policefag rolls out.
>>7479315
SHUT YOUR FACE AND MEET PORNSTAR SKULL
>Swings lamp at pornstar
>>7479342
>SUFFERING NOISES
>>7479342
>Policefag rolls up.
>Evens he sees Silver, odds he can get ambushed.
>>7479373
>>7479357
>swings lamp at policefag
>>7479232
...welcome to the bisexual bathroom.
>>7479333
I think he might hang me-
>>7479215
>>7479267
Oh HEY!
>nervous fox noises
The fire stone totally worked!
>>7479395
>miss
ENGAGING TARGET!
Go, Chewy!
>Policefag sends out a Salandit!
>Policefag swings with his shock baton!
>>7479373
>>7479395
IM SORRY
>>7479395
>>7479423
>UNIT TWO: WATCH POTENTIAL SPECIMENS
>>7479403
... Oh hi
...
>blushes
Uh
I just came in herrre to uh, clean up and take carre of uh...
>Curls up into ball of shame
>>7479411
>Fuschiafag is quivering
>We're reaching levels of mad dad that shouldn't even be possible.
Go. To. Your. Room.
No treats for a month.
>>7479423
>>7479427
FERALIGART RIP THAT THINGS FACE OFF
>Silver sends out Feraligatr
>Feraligator used Ice fang on Salandit
Silver swings lamp at policefag as well
>>7479460
.....
>slinks off to room
>>7479460
...
Um...
>>7479478
....
>>7479197
>Wrap one arm around the waist
>Continue kissing boyfriend
>>7479478
> It connects - both attacks do.
>Chewy squeals but is still fighting, and Policefag is PISSED now.
Chewy, use Toxic!
>Policefag batters Silver with the shock rod!
>>7479485
>>7479496
>Fuschiafag scowls.
Do you two have ANY idea how IRRESPONSIBLE you two were?
You could easily have headed somewhere less flammable!
I understand that the evolution is taking some time to adapt to, but you should have known better than to -scorch- several dozen acres.
. . .
I'm very disappointed in you two, but I still care about you. I'd like you to think about how you could have handled this better.
>>7479504
shit that's uh
pretty brutal
do you want to like
time skip over there
or let them duke it out
>>7479580
.......!
WHO ON MY TURF
>>7479522
(fuck it I am too lazy to figure out the dammage calculator shit)
>Silver and Feraligator Dead
>for reals, Silver from combination of Stress and eletric shock based heart attack and Feraligatr from toxic
>>7479459
No problem.
I can go hide in the corner if you want.
Doesn't bother me.
>>7479570
She didn't mean to...
And I did try to call somebody to help...
But I failed.
>Sighs, and shamefully looks at the ground
-Slugma
>>7479595
I am nigga I'm a ghost in the machi- waffles, don't fuck with me
YO WE WIN
>Lillie get Coke for everyone
>Evens: its a delicious bottle of coke. Odds: its 100% pure Colombian cocaine
>gives it regardless
>>7479637
>coke appears on floor next to zorro
....
>eats it all
>>7479598
( Chewy would be likely 2HKO given the level difference even with ice resist )
>Policefag looks down.
Fuck...
>Attempts to perform first aid on the Silver, probably not successfully.
Thorpe to Central, suspect flatlined while resisting arrest. Get medical down here now.
...
they're gonna have my head for this.
>>7479637
>Too frustrated to notice
>>7479637
what the fuck
gross i dont do drugs
>>7479604
...
>Embarrassment intensifies
>Ball currls up tighterr
>>7479598
oh fuck
that takes care of that
>>7479591
well red
he's dead
fixes that problem
what should we do instead man
got any cool things you're like
fucking dying to do
i got some pen and paper in here somewhere
show me your bucket list dude
>>7479637
...
>Absorbs the strange sand.
>>7479637
>what in the heck
>...
>nope
>to the incinerator you go, I've already learned about throwing things off the window
>>7479659
>Fuschiafag tosses the drugs in the sewer
>sees Zorro
>PANIC.mp4
Oh Arceus Mew!
>Grabs Pokeball, takes Zorro somewhere not flammable
Mew damn it...
>Lets Zorro out
>>7479637
Ahh shit, ya made me smile with the good shit, maybe that emerys feller will finally smile too. With the good stuff of course
Gurl you now on my gud list
>>7479661
Say you're prayers.
you will regret killing my boy.
>>7479637
>Still crying over his boyfriend.
>>7479637
>Cocaine appearrs next to him
>He doesn't notice he's too busy being a ball of shame
>>7479777
(Oh god what's going to happen to stabcat now someone help me figurre it out)
>>7479777
>MINIOR
>>7479762
....
I can not feel my heart.
>Policefag stunned
>Policefag carried off by other officers, staring blankly
>He fucked now boi
>>7479827
(accidentally inhales all the cocaine between sobs)
>>7479842
>Ohgodpain
>Terrrified stabcat noises
>>7479772
Interested in a very interesting gay pokephilia snuff porno?
>>7479854
>Shields Down actvates
HI!!!
>>7479844
>PICK UP AND RUN
>POKEMON CENTER NOW
>DADMODE ENGAGED
>BE STRONK FOR ZORRO
Damn it you are not going to OD on me, mister!
>>7479673
.......?
>>7479772
!
>>7479866
im assuming 'kill giovanni' is on your bucket list
maybe we can fucking
idk
track his ip or some shit
his security is beyond me though
>message Colress
>>7479910
johto
hes in johto
now i am trying to work on a robot here
>>7479637
.....
>Uses cocaine as an offering so the spirits may protect his dead boyfriend and his living child
>>7479862
I thought it was s-s-s-sugar-
>passes out
>>7479671
>Pats the Zangoose
I'll leave you to take care of that man, there are mul-
>Opens door and sees N macking on Gladion
>Closes door
......
>>7479910
>>7479940
!
>L10 Lillietech
>Fix it up
>Pull out something that will help everyone.
>Evens: It's some kind of fix to the current situation. Odds: Its a knife that can only cut wrists
>>7479996
.....
>Gadreel begins to intently read the Necronomicon with his child
>>7479777
>>7479866
>>7479910
>>7479940
Calm down I have no interest in reforming Rocket or fighting any of you, Right now all I care about is Destroying the Castelia City police force. or specifically Officer Thorpe
>>7479996
>A piece of paper that says "Go back to your house fuckface."
>Return to Gadreel's house dejectedly.
>>7480047
.....?
>>7479996
>A large crate of genesect specific parts appears
>Colress squees with scientific glee
>>7479858
Oh god what arrrre you why arrrre you herrre what is going on why did you hit me
>Is currling up so hard he might actually learrn defense curl at this point
>>7479996
>Suddenly a big red "easy" button lands next to him
>He presses it
>Evens it makes the minior go away and relieves him without making a mess
>Odds it relieves him in front of the miniorr and makes a huge mess
Thzzzzt izzzttt watzztt I getzzzzzztt for digitizzzzing myself on thizzz old computer tzzzt helpzzz meeeeezzzzzzzt
Whazzz the fuckzzzzz
>>7480093
>Float closer
EW GROSS!
WHAT WOULD YOUR GIRLFRIEND THINK
>>7480093
...
>If he curls into a ball any harder he might actually fold in on himself and create a hole in the universe
>Or just break something
>>7479996
>a single piece of paper shows up in the desk
>IP address, username and password to something
>it geolocates to a device at Castelia, more or less onboard the Plasma Frigate
>(evens it's Emry's new Lucario themed dex, odds it's an Internet connected coffee pot)
>>7480130
Hey asshole
>Swings the 'Forget-Me-Stick' at Minior
>>7480155
>The crack of a bone can be heard
>snaps awake violently
WHEREISSLUGMA?
ISHEOKAY?
IWASSUPPOSSEDHAVEDINNERWITHHIM
>frantic breathing
>>7480182
>Minior slams through the other wall
>>7480197
ohfuck
>>7479996
>A big bag of different medications appear
>Say a thanks to whichever god did this
>>7480130
>>7480155
>He found what he just brroke
>It was his soul
>He begins to sob loudly in a puddle of his own lewd mess
>>7480112
THZZZt much bzzter
Zzooo? Howzzt goingzzt everyone tzzt ?
>>7480197
(Nah mate bones can be potioned, his will to live on the other hand can't be fixed)
>>7480047
I never meant to kill that kid.
I had a less-lethal weapon against a rampage in progress. I tried to take him down alive.
He had a goddamn heart attack, and I tried to revive the poor bastard.
But I know you. You don't care about that.
You just want blood, and you don't care how many people get caught in the crossfire.
Am I right?
>Policefag groans.
I'm taking an indefinite leave of absence while I deal with my conscience.
>>7479996
Oh, look, and here's my ticket out of town.
>>7480232
Hoopa fix broken Marmoset
>Hoop
>evens: A Synge of LSD gets hooped and injected into the Stabcat
>odds: Lucy is hooped in front of him then hooped right away a few moments later
>Batteur: Wake the fuck up you lazy peice of shit
>wow.
..Why is there a corpse on the table.
>>7480232
>>7480278
Oh fuck.
>Gladitto pulls the mongoose in for a hug
>>7480278
Shit's about to get REAL
>L11 Lillietech
>One last hit
>A toy doll is baggified to everyone.
>Evens it says something comforting. Odds it reminds everyone of traumatic memories.
>>7480278
>Starts having the mother of all bad trrrips
>It's mostly just a twisted, sadder version of his breakup
>Sobbing stabcat intensifies
>>7479996
>full heal appears
>attempts to drink
....
>evens success
>odds drops and shatters because of the violent shakes.
>>7480333
>just
>gonna take as many pills as i can
>>7480333
.....
oh....
>cries out in the middle of no where.
>>7480377
>>7480333
>Trip ends quickly, only to be replaced by a perfect, tiny replica of Lucy, down to the blaze kick scar on herr stomach
>It crawls onto his muzzle and boops him between the eyes
>Remembers all the good times he had with her, and how they are now tainted with the knowledge that she was only doing it out of pity and guilt
>Looks at his claws and considers slashing his own throat
>>7480333
...Nice.
>Batboy: hide thing under corpse that looks way too familia- oh.
>Batboy: Dispose of the evidence.
>>7480333
>Gets a small figure of his old trainer
...
>Throws it over the side of the ship
>Shakes a little, memories of abuse filling his head
>>7480377
>runs off crying in a random direction
>>7480333
>Thoughts of life before moving to Alola
>I'm not crying that's just the water
>>7480400
Well there is only one way I can fix this
>Hoop
>Evens: Zangoose gets Hooped away To a psychiatrist for pokemon for an hour every weekfrom now on
>odds: A Gun Is Hooped to him, but it is full of blanks
>>7480333
....
I am going to kill you first.
>>7480333
...
im going back to painting
>>7480333
Whathtefuckareyoudioingthisisthekindofshitthatinducessuicidesgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
>a tiny magnezone model
>rusted out, barely held together
>the very last minutes of the first wishening dream
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>7480066
>He enters to find Pew and Gadreel performing a stereotypical movie necromancy on the random Darkrai
......
>>7480333
>Doll of a little kid sets on fire
>starts crying and shaking
>>7480452
>The psychiatrist was with another patient and kicks him out
>He curls up in the hallway alone for an hour until he's suddenly back on the ship
>>7480333
>The doll is quickly discarded.
>>7480500
>Hug Gadreel.
>Shiver and try not to cry
>>7480501
Hey, bro... 'chu look like 'chu need to talk to somebody.
>>7480333
>Bloody Bullwhip lands on N with a crack
>He goes into full shutdown mode and basically just death hugs Gladion with wide, teary eyes and tremors
fuck it
>minatech L5
>evens everyone gets a nice painting delivered to them. odds the canvas is torn up
>>7480333
>Doll of Giovanni with a curling iron
>Dave flips shit and starts shrieking, hacking it into a million pieces with Aegislash
>>7480333
>stares at zorua doll
>he goes fucking berserk and rips it apart
>is now crying in the corner
>>7480501
>Sniffers attempts to comfort the stabcat
I don't think there is much I can do to make you feel better. But, at the very least, know your friends are here to support you. And will stop you from doing anything stupid. Lucy wouldn't want you to kill yourself over her.
>Sets up come cardboard boxes in the hallway
>"Psychiatric help 5P"
>"The doctor is in"
>waits
>>7480333
>A statue of Ghetsis.
>Quickly destroyed by Unit Four.
>>7480536
I-I was going to but then Palkia did the butt trrick and I made a mess so I started to clean it up and then something crashed into me and then a button showed up and when I pressed it I made another lewd mess and the thing that crrashed into me asked me what Lucy would think and then I had something injected into me and saw my brrreakup with Lucy but it was worrrrse because she actually neverrrrr carrrred and just wanted my money and then it was gone and a doll s-showed up and it looked exactly like herrr and booped me and I starrrted rrrrememberrrring all the good times only they'rrrrre tainted now b-because she w-was just with me out of p-pity and guilt a-and then I wound up in a psychiatrist office and they kicked me out and now I'm herrrre and I deserrrrved all of it...
>Rambling, sobbing ball of fluffy sadness intensifies
>>7480646
>Gladitto gives him a hug
>>7480480
(herp)
>>7480536
We all do, we all do, all for varying amounts of how much shit has been self inflicted, but no one deserving it.
>>7480646
>Pats back
Bro, 'chu lost a lot recently. It's okay to be sad.
Lucy wouldn't want 'chu to, like... break down completely, though.
The drug trip wasn't real. 'Chu both tried to make it work, but it wasn't, like, meant to be, I guess.
'Chu deserve to be happy again. 'Chu're a good dude, just one who's made a few mistakes and had a rough few days.
>hugs
It's gonna be okay, bro. We're here for 'chu.
I AM NOT GIVING UP
>LILLIETECH LEVEL 25
>BAG EM UP
>Evens everyone is moved to a place they feel comfortable in for 3 hours. Odds theyre moved to a place that makes them feel uncomfortable for 15 minutes.
>>7480675
>Shrinks and scoots away from the contact
I-I don't deserrrve anyone who carres about me g-go away beforrrre I hurrrrt you too!
>>7480333
>Silvers dead body
............
>put all his money on a hit for Tom Thorpe
>pulls out a LeMat revolver from out of his desk
>click
>>7480691
>N gets transported into a red neck trailer park in Orre, still in shock and bullwhip tangled around his arms and neck
>He breaks down even more
> A bullwhip makes a viable noose, wouldn't you say?
>>7480691
>Suddenly teleported to a hot tub
>Bad memories intensify
>>7480691
>Suddenly sitting in the snowfields of northern sinnoh
..God damnit.
Why are you like this.
>>7480691
>is in the same exact chamber zorua raped him in
>he starts battering at the walls while tearing up
>after he destroys everything in the room he goes to a corner and cries
>>7480691
>Laying against a stone wall.
>In [REDACTED]'s basement.
>Rocking back and forth and sobbing.
>LILLIE FIXTECH L75
>PUT EM BACK
>Evens everyone is returned to their original position. Odds the teleportation time lasts 15 minutes longer and there is no way to leave.
>>7480696
Calm down.
Calm the hell do...
>>7480691
>whisked away to the middle of the desrt of Route 111, without a dex, phone, or goggles
>it's day and really hot
>>7480761
WHAT THE FUCK
>>7480691
>He's in a small, dark closet
>There's rats everywhere
>A piece of metal touches him
>He lifts the Aegislash - he'll either kill them or himself
>>7480761
>Joe: Put the first name on your 'to pipe' list.
>>7480774
It's time to stop.
>Attempts to put Lillie inside a bag
>>7480799
IM TRYING TO FIX IT
>EVENS EVERYONE IS RETURNED ODDS A NOTE SAYING SORRY APPEARS
>>7480761
*CRIES AND SCREAMS OUTLOUD*
*BUT EVEN ARCUES WANT HEAR HIM*
>>7480761
>>7480815
>Crying
>Digging fingers into throat
>>7480728
>He can hear voices nearby
>Evens he holds on to his will to live for Gladion and the future
>Odds he untangles the bullwhip and makes a noose
>>7480815
Stop.
You will make things worse.
>Tries to bag her again
>>7480774
>>7480815
>the heat gets worse
>a sandstorm begins
BAG TECHNIQUE LEVEL 400
>ARCEUSSTEALER
>EVENS TIME IS REWINDED TWO HOURS. ODDS TIME IS SPED UP FOURTY MINUTES
>>7480839
>The voices are getting closer
>The bullwhip is Untangled
>Evens reconsider for your lover
>Odds look for a suitable tree
>>7480815
>Sees note saying "Sorry"
>Rips it the fuck apart
FUCK YOU
>Starts balling once again
>>7480761
>Attempts to drown self in the hot tub
>Evens he can't do it odds he goes belly down
>>7480691
>Is teleported to a locked room
>The one that his trainer used to lock him in for days.
>A random dead Smeargle is also in the room
>Curls up in a corner, sobbing
>>7480871
>They're really close now
>And you have a tree
>Evens remember that people need you
>Odds make the noose
>BAGTECH LEVEL 600
>GODMODDER
>EVENS EVERYTHING IS TAKEN BACK FOUR HOURS ODDS NOTHING HAPPENS
>>7480858
>heat stroke begins
Okay that's enough 'fun' for now kiddos.
>Everyone is ported back to where they were
>With milkshakes
>>7480865
>Spooky butt trick
Now you behave, Missy.
>>7480927
can we all forget the last hour please that was worse than dying
Holy fuck Lets fix this, bere we end up with a mass suicide
>evens : go back in time and stop lillie from useing her bag to depress everyone
>odds: fuck all
>>7480927
IM SORRY I HAVENT BEEN AIMFAGGING IM SORRY
IM SORRY
I DIDNT WANT LILLIE TO BECOME A GODMODDER
IM GOING TO STOP POSTING
>>7480927
>Is back in the bathroom, water in the lungs, unconscious
>>7480865
>was about to use sex whip as a noose
>>7480921
>>7480927
>is suddenly out of nightmare
>drinks milkshake with salty sad tears
>>7480927
>Is teleported back to the ship.
Thank you.
I'm going to curl up in a corner for a bit.
>>7480946
I've got, like, no clue why I'm saying this but thank 'chu.
( everyone fucking forgets this shit now right? )
>thats my jugular right?
>im gonna-
>>7480927
>in room
>curl up on floor
>>7480927
>>7480946
>He's back in the bed with Gladion
>His neck is still bruised and cut from the bullwhip though
>And he's unconscious
>His neck is no longer his only unscarred area
>>7480947
(we know it's the rng gods who wants us dead)
>>7480946
>Still remembers everything, but is no longer drowning
>Curls up in the lewd mess again, sobbing harder than ever before
>Bagtech level 1
>Go to bed
>>7480986
im sorry im not even in character at this point
im sorry im soryr
>>7481014
no problem man, it was just bad luck
>>7481014
It's okay, the dice gods are cruel and unforgiving, but I'm not.
>Dad-ly back pat
-Spookiest of the dads
Fuck pokemon