ITT: Furries are real

uh.
Op is a faggot?

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I'm sick of seeing these ugly furless pale skin, whatever thier color is, monkeys roaming in my neighborhood!

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>>7326478
Hey guys, you think they allow humans in a furry strip club? I want to hunt some does!

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>>7326651

>>7326651
Only this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQgXeY_zi4

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Sweet! Hope they allow me in!

So are animals all human sized or are they like sized based on species ala Zootopia?

>>7330404
Human size. Didn't you saw OP's picture?

>>7330404
Also, are there regular animals, or am I eating the same species that might work the next cubicle over?
>inb4 everyone's a vegan
No they're not

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>Go to gym for the first time
>Gotta keep those new years resolutions brah
>Donkey bumps into me in the change room
>Call him a jackass
>Arrested and charged with hate speech.

>>7332055
SJW furries when?

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Hey, bros! I got a furry girlfriend ehat do you think?

>>7332495
An owl? You better put a plumber on speed dial. Those pellets do NOT go down easy.

>>7326651
Could there actually be money in that sort of thing?

>>7332737
You mean fugging a furry?

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>>7332495
Crap. I wish my wife was hot like yours. This my wife.

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>>7332683
Relax! I bought her a portal potty, an anniversary gift from me!

All I want is another human but noooooo they're all taken by those damned savage cartdraggers. They need to learn their place and stick to their own species.


/pol/

>>7332867
>being spieciest
>in 2017
It's not our fault that anthros are interesting than generic human.

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Did you know dragon hoards can't be taxed? It's some sort of cultural exemption.

>>7326478
man i hate walking home at night and getting assraped by futa horses
who am i kidding i love living

>>7332932
I want a dragon wife. But, my parents would hate me.

I wonder there's furry version of KKK that they always say "furries are far serperior than humans!

>I'm not a fleshy or anything but, human boys get my nipples hard.

>>7333035
>Furries are fur superior than humans!

There, fixed it for you

>>7333473
Kek

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Haven't you heard? Furhub is making a porn parody of animal crossing characters fuging using humans and LEGIT anthros!

...
(i keep fucking the neighbor's human)

>>7334002
Fleshfag

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>>7326478

>>7332813
No, I mean a fursuit strip club.

>tfw no lioness gf

>>7334289
They'd have to be really nice and skin tight fursuits

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>allowing humans in frontline combat roles
Seriously? What'll you do when a squad of Iguana State militants charge you? Scratch them with your claws- OH WAIT

>>7334999
Maybe use a firearm?
Like something soldiers are issued with.

>>7334999
Humans has always been worst at smell detection

>>7335682
all they can smell is cock

>>7334999
>Goat is a middle Easterner
Top kek

>>7326599
Too bad your kind didn't evolve enough to have the brain capacity to spell their. No wonder your women flock to us.

>>7332495
Literally who

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>>7326651

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>>7330853

Even dragons?

>>7334289
>>7334559
Might work well in a city that is known as a vacation destination and source of debauchery, like Vegas or Amsterdam.

>>7326651
>I want to sleep with hookers!

I don't think you need to sneak into a strip club to find those.

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>>7332932

Of course I knew that! I'm a dragoness!

It's based on the same reason why dogs don't get arrested for peeing on fire hydrants and why cats don't get arrested for stealing balls of yarn.

>>7332495
Last time I fucked an owl she turned her head 180 degrees and stared at me the whole time.

It was a weird experience.

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>>7336855
But was it easy to kiss her?

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>>7336855
I find it hot that an owl is looking at you everytime you hump.

Also, my girlfriend are going to have fun tonight!

>>7337200
B E S T O W L W A I F U

>>7337108
I guess?

She just kept on giving me bedroom eyes.

>>7337200
Bit weird man but good luck.

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>>7337335
Thanks!

Oh! My girlfriend says hi to you!

>>7337200
Who?

>>7332817
>Dating a rat
I can't believe a human like you have shit taste.

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>>7337431
Stop it. My girlfriend is quite offended with that sterotype joke.

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>>7337461

At least she doesn't have to deal with virgins begging her not to eat them, banks asking her not to break into the vault in order to hoard the gold in there or jokes about fiery orgasms like I have to put up with, being as I'm a dragoness.

On the other hand/claw/paw/talon, having random people come up to you and as for a flight is kinda cool.

Everybody likes wings!

Oh, and one more thing:

O RLY?

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>>7337840
KILL URSEEELF U STOUPD WHORE DRAGON!!' I BET IT MUST BE BORING SITTING IN A PILE OF GOLD!! SOMETHING OFFENSIVE DRAGON THING- I'm so sorry! My girlfriend got carried way with the typing. I hope your not upset.

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>>7338755
I hate to be the one to point this out, but didn't birds evolve from dinosaurs?

And didn't dragons as well?

So do all birds secretly wish to be a dragon somehow?

>>7338816
Pls. Don't upset my girlfriend.

>>7332932
God, I want to fucking gas all the dragons literally hoarding the nations wealth.

>>7338857
Who?

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>>7338857
>>7339280
Come on you two kiss and make up.

>>7339567
>wanting to be friends with that sterotype fag
Sorry. But I don't think she will be happy about that.

>>7339910
Feed her a mouse until she feels better.

>>7341558
Thanks. Hopefully she doesn't take it too far.

>>7326478
OK guys, here's a scenario.

You find out your sisters boyfriend is a human. How do you react?

>>7342834
Ask if she's up for a threesome....

>>7332495
wow, look at those hooters!

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>>7342987
You think it's specist that a place called Hooters is filled with owls that hoot?

>>7342834
>>7342920

As a human I'm in a relationship with a doe and her brother. We all fuck occasionally and they tend to fight over who gets to spend time with me for the day. The three of us try to spend time together as a group as much as we can.

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>>7344183
Don't you hate it when Owl babes make puns everytime they serve food?

>>7344305
Hey, that's part of the tradition in Hooters. If you don't make at least one pun while serving your customers food then you just don't have the Hooter spirit.

>>7344260
(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

>>7344411
I bet the Hooters are dieing in the inside.

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>be infatuated with furry coworker
>desire to get to know them better for possible relationship
>become flustered anytime it comes to any sustained interaction
>he is super oblivious
Any furs willing to give me any insight to how I can approach him without looking like some fetishist? I want to ask him out on a date at least.

>>7344736
Kys. Furries are not for sex

>>7344683
Actually when I was working as a busboy Owl girls would practice making puns with each other. The worker who makes the cleverest puns are congratulated and respected by the other workers. It's kind of heartwarming to see how tight knit the workers are with each other and keep up a team spirit attitude. I've honestly never seen any of them have a negative attitude about the place. But maybe that's just that Hooters.

>>7344736
What species is he?

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>>7342834

Confront her and ask her if she's out of her mind... Then ask her if he's a virgin because dragons and virgins

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>>7331064

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>>7338755

Owls are supposed to be really smart, yet you misspelled two words.

Anyone ever accidentally mistake one of those flat chested girl dragons for a guy?

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>>7345213

Only a mammal would do that. Besides, there aren't many flat-chested dragonesses out there, unless they're hatchlings.

>>7345246
She was an adult so I don't know. She might have had booby cancer or something.

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>this entire thing
God damn this fucking thread is giving me autism
Specially >>7334999 pic

>>7334999
>having claws while shooting
Enjoy fumbling for that trigger while the enemy scalps your furry ass. Dumb dog.

>>7327079
Is it bad I knew what this was without clicking the link?

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Mares man...

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>>7337448
Cmon man don't be like that
They have it harsh, they are the laughing stock of other species.
They don't need humans taking a tool on their moral too.

>>7326478
Is this a tranny?

I thought only males had antlers this big

>>7344894
Anything that's subhuman

>>7345926
It's especially bad for them since people assume they'll betray and snitch on people.

>>7334999
>ignoring human superiority in overall endurance and three dimensional ballistics
Sure, dogs and cats and whatever else may be faster and stronger to varying degrees, and have claws, but they're nowhere near as good marchers or marksmen as humans are.

>>7335762
Is there a reason why none of them can smell yours?

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>>7345721
Shit gets crazy when they are in heat.
One time with this mare...
At the morning during breakfast she wanted to fuck, at noon we used our break at work because she wanted to fuck, later at dinner we fucked again over the table, and later at night we couldn't sleep because she didn't eat all day.
Make sure to take care of her, they lose common sense.
my trick is to feed her myself while giving her a hand. I sit her head in my lap and stimulate her from the back of her ear, while giving her food. Apparently when they are in heat a simple stimulation from the ear is all they need to wet themselves, they cum hands free. And that's from petting her, don't Make me start with kisses or cuddles (a deep kiss is like trance, they won't stop unless you do). Direct sex?. It's like an open faucet, they can cum multiple times just for teasing them, touching around her genitalia.

Do you have any GF stories?

>>7345331
Want to join.

>>7345188
Hey, careful what you say about my girlfriend!

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>>7346744
Is ok really
>>7345926
You don't have to "pretend"...
After all, we both know what we did in the past...
They teached us about the human holocaust we...
We almost killed your species with the pest in Europe. Such anus crimes to be forgotten, and then later killing all those people and animals by bringing with us so much diseases...
I know that saying sorry won't be enough, but I'm really sorry. I swear.
If you ever bump into us, and want to beat us up... We understand. We won't persecute or say anything.

On the good side, we finally have the highest suicide rate, our number of males have been decreasing a lot, so you won't see a lot of us around anymore, isn't that great?!

Unfortunately I'm a coward, so I'm still alive... I'm sorry.

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I can't fucking wait till you animals are finally exterminated.

>>7347397
>If you ever bump into us, and want to beat us up... We understand.
What if I want to fuck your anus?

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>>7344855
Is Hooters are for Owls only?

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>>7347439
>>7347439
In what way?
Like rape?
I'm sick of the idea, I would feel like dying. Then again, I hate myself already, and it only seems fair, so go ahead. It only seems fair anyway.

>>7347559
I mean in the you feel guilty enough to ride up and down my cock without you being physically forced to kind of way.

>>7347526
Of course not. Businesses can't discriminate. Although that does leave you having to work harder on the puns you make since you are unable to make many poultry puns on account of you being something other than a bird.

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Why is human-anthro is such a controversal subject?

>>7347612
Cause muh SKINNED meme propagated by /pol/ and furs thinking humans are taking their women.

>>7347646
What makes you think we want your used up slags?

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>>7347582
Is... I... I'm not... It would be... Be My first time... And with someone who doesn't really like me...

I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

Do you hate me?

>>7347658
I don't. I'm just saying furs get all bent out of shape whenever they see humans dating furs. I was reading a thread the other day where a fur family adopted a human child and all people could do was call the father a cuck and say his wife was SKINNED.

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Have you ever date a dragon before?

>>7347692
You just make my erection harder.

>>7347704
I did once, she was real possessive.

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>>7347438
May I remind you comrade...
The autonomy of the indigenous species from these lands shall not be infringed.
Do I have to remind you about the uprise of /trashiapas/?

>>7347704
She always acted like she was some type of royalty.

>>7347773
Mine was the same. Is it a dragon thing?

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>>7347695
Skinned? What do you mean by that?

Also, is this the picture your referering to?

>>7347704
I did but she seemed a bit cold blooded.

>>7347711
But what are you saying?
Are you into that cryfetish thingy?
...
Am I really attractive to you?

Why whiptail lizards are such feminazis?

>>7347789
Probably.

She also had a hoarding problem...

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>>7347852
We're just all females, not really feminazis.

Some whiptails are males though, but they're rarer.

Girls do the job just fine though.

>>7347796
Yes, that. Skinned is supposed to mean a fur is an animal being used by a human in some way. It goes back to when animals were skinned and their pelts were used by humans.

>>7347833
Guilting someone into sex is my favorite fetish.

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>>7347903
>It goes back to when animals were skinned and their pelts were used by humans.
That day will come once again, beast. Mark my words. Every day more of us wise up to your ways. When enough of them figure it out, the day of the rug will finally come and we can finally have a civilized society again.

>>7347913
Oh
D-did I RUIN IT BY ASKING??
S-sorry! I-i just
Hum... I WAS... I MEAN...
I DIDNT WANtNONo I'm not saying that you I don't want BUT I DO BUT ONLy if you want get what I'm saying ha ha ha...
...
You can laugh at me, I know I just dropped my spaghetti...
Is just that... Not many talk to me... And I just killed the conversation.
Do you hate me for Killing the moment?

>>7348105
I'm going to jerk off thinking of you tonight.

>>7348115
I feel relieved.
Many hates rats, but you just told me how attractive I'm, even if in a little pervert manNO NO IM SAYING TH-... I... I'm a mess of a person. But you didn't care. Or the fact that I'm a disgusting rotten poor excuse of a species. I'm going to hug my pillow thinking of you tonight too...
Good night HY-OO-MAN hehe... I'm not making fun of you is just a joke I swear I don't hate you or something I'm not specieist or something just... G-good night...

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>>7347704
Any mon-
Any human in here?
What do you guys like?
I'm 8"0, I'm almost your size but you guys never approach me...
Am I too intimidating? I just want someone almost my size, our male dragons are too small and they die after copulation.
Everyone else gets to live with their couple after. Is not fair...
Someone help please!

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>>7348431
I'm afraid of talking to human females, why the FUCK would I try talking to a monster instead?

>>7348544
Her species has literally made the high impact sexual violence meme.

I hate to be the person who says this but for most humans you'll need a masochist to be interested.

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>>7348544
Me rn
>>7348566
Good meme


Seriously tho
Feedback plox

>>7348601
>>7348544 here, try online dating
Maybe you can get someone to like you before you show them that you're a giant monster

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>>7348760
>before you show them that you're a giant monster

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>>7348800
Want to know what's a huge joke?
Dragons, their males are like 4' supermegaturbomanlets and die after mating and the females are 8' amazonian beasts that nothing but another dragon would find attractive and yet they crave relationships despite having almost no chance of ever having a long-term partner.
That shit just cracks me right up

Enjoy dying alone, dirty lizard

>>7348760
Yes, have fun getting shot when the cops show up.

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>>7348914
She's a dragon moron.

Not an eldritch monstrosity.

They have the same rights as pretty much any citizen.

>>7348933
>They have the same rights as pretty much any citizen.
And the same obligations to respect the law and not fucking eat people.

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>>7348865
>>7348914
I was in the middle of replying but then it hit me
You are totally right
I'm a dragon adult now yet I have never even kissed anyone
The only reason I got a job and moved out of my parents cave, was so I could stay up at night and roam around the house at midnight (hour that I don't go to sleep but rather wake up for fucking staying up 2 days talking to other dragons online) and do my pervert stuff like I pleased.

I'm a kissless tall monster that masturbates 5 times a day.

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>>7348969
I would assume that she would first fuck then eat.

And by that time she's in the privacy of her own home.

It's not going to be like, "Oh hey let's meet up"

>Fucking devours date on meetup in an obviously public place.

Dragons have been shown to have pretty good brains and that's just overwhelmingly stupid.

Besides, it's much more likely that she's looking for a relationship rather than a quick bite.

Hell, she could just order some meatball subs for less time and effort and get essentially the same amount of food.

Why would she put so much effort into doing something like this when there are much better options avaliable?

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>>7349019
Sorry for the rant.
But totally serious now
Please
Do you guys really think that my chance is that slim of dating a human?
I'm not into the males of my own species
>>7349037
No, why would I try to eat anyone?
Does eating someone alive sounds tasty to you?
No?
Me neither.
I'm not a fucking wild animal

>>7349037
Open a newspaper sometime and you'll see a brief blurb about yet another dragon getting caught raping, murdering, or stealing. It's so common among them that the only time they ever get any fanfare is when they're the ones who get killed. I bet you also think the use of power armor to restrain them is police brutality.

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>>7349019
>>7349148
Dragons, and all of your furs in general, disgust me
Kill yourselves

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>>7349148
I'm just trying to point out that even if one wanted meat there are much more efficient ways of getting it then killing and eating humans.

It doesn't make sense logically even if one would be ok with eating humans.

I'm not saying..

>Dragons shouldn't eat humans

I'm saying

>Dragons have no reason to eat humans.

Hell with the added point you make it adds to my argument.

>>7349241
To be honest who the fuck reads the newspaper anymore.

Besides, we know that most news outlets sensationalize most stories and heavily cherry pick.

Hell that whole sharks debacle proved that pretty well.

>All sharks kill humans and are bent on doing so, here take a look at this one.
>Its TOTALY NOT because she was mentally insane and worshiped a human thumb!

It's like the whole Gamers are killers thing that they still latch onto.

>Its often times the other factors not the thing they latch onto.

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>>7347646
>Implying humans aren't fucking their males as well.

>>7347692
Your so cute!

>the only human in a society of furry characters
>everyone's super hot except me
>tfw
And thus my chances of ever getting laid went even further down the drain.

>>7349275
>>>/pol/

Get back to your containment board, fascist

>>7350252
>>>/t/umblr

Get back to your hugbox, commie

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>>7334999
That's one trope where making furries actually makes sense. In the distant future nation A finds out his neighbor B is creating a race of giant flesh-eating space centipedes to unleash on all of A's colonies. What's A going to do, send in human troops? Maybe robots... but if B has some anti-robot technology like EMPs, you'll want your own genetically engineered monsters to fight his. So you create a race of 7-foot tall tiger men (space tiger men!) to take on their centipedes.

Skip ahead to 20 years later when the war's long over and done, now you have a bunch of giant animal people that need to be integrated into society. It sure as hell makes more sense than the usual "It's like Earth, but everyone is an animal person for no reason" setting we usually see.

My cousins dating a tapeworm
I'm 80% sure she picked him up at a party, but now he's in her bowels and she says they're in love
How do you kill that kind of bond?

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>>7350791
drink bleach

>>7350736
Take your fanfiction elsewhere you fucking cat.

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>>7347391

I was trying to be careful, OK? I really can't help sounding like a hothead.

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>>7347725
>>7347773
>>7347789
>>7347808

Really. Draconic stereotypes in front of a dragoness?

>>7351902
You're really dragon this on.

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>>7351929

>>7351929
Definitely an owl.

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>>7352035

Why do you think I didn't respond to that birdbrain?

Not all male dragons are tiny, you know. Here's an example.

>>7352079
Ha, nice veracious veins.

>>7352079
Nice edit.

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>>7352134

I like my studs veiny, alright? Remember that dragons are hotheads when you say things!

Anyway, it's time I try to get my fellow reptiles in here.

Where the sneks at?

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Have you ever had UNIQUE sex with a certain species? my Iguana girlfriend always turn herself invisible everytime we have sex.

>>7352196
They're all busy deepthroating a superior species' cock.

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So what is this? A RP thread or something?

>>7352228
Yep! We come up some of the most ridiculous arguments that a human and a furry can make of.

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>>7352209

That's chameleons, dude.

>get home from work
>see this in your living room

What would you do?

Me, I'd ride it!

>>7352268
>That's chameleons, dude.
Speaking of which. How can you tell the difference between a T-Rex and a dragon? I'm not saying that all reptiles look alike to me it's just I really can't tell the difference between the two.

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Oh! I didn't notice you guys back here, sorry about that. So, what do you guys want to drink?

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>>7352353

Wings. Dragons have wings, not to mention longer arms.

Anyone here interested to see Disney remaking some of their live action movies/shows into animation?

I wonder what they will do for robin hood..

>>7352361
Your pussy

>>7352388
Don'tcha mean animation to live action?

>>7352361
Your pussy

>>7352408
With furries are real, we can finally have a live-action RobinHood!

>>7352430
I hope they don't use that one douchbag actor that keeps making that smug grin and raised eyebrow look in all his movie.

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>>7352396
>>7352424
Oh, you two, uh... Well, you'll have to ask my boss about doing that in the backroom. But I do serve drinks all time though!

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>>7352472
You mean Sil? He's a friend of ours. You just get your pretty little ass to that back room. And tell him I did that thing he wanted done for Tony.

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>>7352531
Alright! I'll be in there getting ready for you guys, come in whenever you're ready! I'll also take a few shots so that I'm loosened up a little.

>>7352453
kek

>>7352453
You mean Nick Wilde?

>>7353288
Overrated actor.

>>7353380
What?! He's the best actor of all time! He made Zootopia popular.

>>7353380
Yeah, Nick sucks, but you see that Judy Hopps? She looks amazing.

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>>7353498
Why tou guys hate him?!

>>7353519
He's just too smug, it's like, people are okay if he's a little sarcastic in a movie cause it'd be funny, but when that's his whole character and it keeps going throughout the movie... It just sucks.

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>>7353498
You think Judy Hops would cosplay as the bunny from that Mario game for halloween?

>>7353496
>>7353519
>le sameface fox
>good actor
He literally plays himself in every role.

>>7353564
Oh, I hope, she'd look good in that outfit.

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>>7353592
Wait, isn't she in a relationship with Nick?

>>7353629
I don't think so, I think it was just a thing on set. Didn't she say she was a lesbian or something?

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>>7353687
I heard rumors that she's dating Shakira.

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>>7353745
Oh yeah, I heard about that too! I doubt them though, doesn't seem like her. I think she's dating Gazelle, I mean, how else would she be able to take this pic?

Speaking of Zootopia what do you think of Rock Dog

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>>7353929
I really liked it, mainly because of the main character.

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>>7353953
I don't like that movie.

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Zootopia? More like Mammaltopia!

Sure, there were a few avians in there, but NO REPTILES WHATSOEVER!

Afraid of getting SCALED, are you?

>>7354007
N-No, I'm not afraid of getting s-scaled!

>>7354007
Nick Wilde is my favorite actor!

>>7354007
No humans either. They're afraid to get SKINNED.

>>7354418
That movie was quite speciat!

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>>7349148
Kissless femdragon here
I got a fucking real problem
I went to a bar because I was feeling down about the human male thing, and this female human who is my friend came with me. She went full Slav, she drank like a Russian soldier.
Long story short: she knew about how I didn't have any sexual experience and she proposed to teach me (I was drunk as well, so I didn't think much of the meaning behind it. I thought she would just say tips or something). So we went to her car to have more privacy and space to talk. You can imagine what happened next (but imagine it in a highly drunken sloppy fashion). She tried to kiss me. I was dumbfounded and she was just giggling like a school girl (a drunk one). After that, she just fell asleep. I drove her to my """"house"""" ([blog]it's a shitty apartment inside an airport, they let me stay there as a 24/7 janitor. I can clean on high places most species need equipment to reach [/blog])
She is right now on my bed, she is asleep ( that's putting it kindly, more like in a comma) as I write this.
What do I do guys? Im not sure what to say or do after this. How would a normal human react? What do I do or say to her?

>>7354492
Just tell her you love her. Interspecies is legal. Except on Russia

>>7354492
Tell her "N-no homo."

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>>7354492
You had a one night stand with a good friend.

It's going to be a bit awkward at first, most certainly to be honest.

The question is how you see her now, as more of a friend or something a bit more.

>>7349341
>Besides, we know that most news outlets sensationalize most stories and heavily cherry pick.
The media barely even scratches the surface of animal crime. FBI crime statistic show animals to commit a disproporionate amount of crimes relative to their population, with dragons in particular standing out among them. Despite this, they receive passing mentions, yet if one human being dares to shoot a dragon trying to maul someone, it's televised for months on end.

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The fuck you staring at? You my next client or something?

>>7354624
Yeah m8
You sell those Canadians bags of milk right?

>>7354624
>when animals want to be more like human women so they make their flat chests have tits bigger than their head

Why can't they ever settle with a happy medium by having regular sized breasts?

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>>7354645
The fuck do you mean milk bags? Oh, you mean the condoms, ah, okay. I mean, if you're into that sorta thing we could work something out.

>>7354664
Hey now, it wasn't my idea to get tit implants the size of rocks, pimp made me do it, sex sells ya know?

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'm going on my first date with a mantis girl, she's a really sweet girl, but can you give me some advice?

>>7354732
When she says, give me head.

It might not be an innuendo...

>>7354745
That's just a sterotype.

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>>7354492
I'm not gay tho
>>7354509
Ha, our balls didn't touch. Our boobs did, does that count?. Not anything sexual, but it happened during the kiss. Human breasts are adorable, like kiddie versions of other species breasts.
>>7354516
>awkward
She is going to make fun of this. She is a female dude bro, which is weird considering she dresses like a female model or something (she right now has one of those human black transparent socks on that drives other species crazy. I will give you that, those feet or foot or fat or whatever you monkeys call your hind legs are pretty... What's the word... Good?, I feel fascinated by them. And using those black socks... Listen I'm not gay, but I want to do something to those foot. I want her to stomp me with those in the face, not as in angry I want to kill you, but as in like rubbing and pushing against my face. Or just her rubbing my genitalia with those. I'm not gay but I'm rather curious, fascinated. Just wanted to pint that out ok?).

But seriously tho, I'm not gay. Any advice? She is still asleep.

>>7354782
Didn't a mantis use that as a defense in court to get away with murdering her husband? Of course no self respecting jury would believe that bullshit.

>>7354782
yeah she gets angry everytime someone makes that kind of joke
we've been to be friends for a a long time so she used to talk to me about this and then we just escalated and now we're on our first date today

>>7354719
Nah just passing by.
But you made me curious...
I'm assuming you have been for a while.
Do you have any notable experience with a client? Something funny or scary or what

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i've never seem her with an outfit like that before, we are usually with formal clothing on our jobs, but
but she's looking good in it.

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Laying eggs or live birth: Which would you prefer to do?

>>7355003
See you in the news

>>7355037
None.
I hate kids

>>7355038
why, i thought that old stereotype died ages ago

>>7355071
They exist for a reason

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>>7355038

Why?

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>>7354969
I've been on this gig for a while, yeah. I haven't really got any stories... Oh! Expect for this one time where this horse guy fucking drained all of this cum into this little condom. Yeah, this guy fucked me for so long that he was drained of his batter. So after he payed me $300 and left, I'm just sitting there with a bag full of cum. I don't what to fucking do with it, so I got the idea to fucking sit on it. I thought it was gonna be like a bean bag chair, but right when I sat on it, pop! The condom popped and so I fell in a puddle of cum. And I mean drenched in it, couldn't get it out of my shirt for a week.

>>7355109
Can't a guy and his girlfriend have a good time without racist guys like you

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>>7355143

Stallions... Always a good alternative for us dragonesses!

>>7355045
>Not wanting to lay infertile eggs for breakfast or for cakes
Your loss

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>>7347438
>>7347765
>>7355157
OOC
Just imagine that shit
>In a place far away all animals evolved enough to become humanoid, or at least tall enough to stand a chance against other big animals, to even the balance in the food chain for them
>a lot have become intelligent enough to be similar to that one of a tribe
>Humans come to animal planet
>It resembles something out of a novel of the British-African colonization
>Slave, torture, etc. All of the good ol earth behavior
>Companies and government have free range since they are the ones planning the expeditions and exploitation, human civilians can't afford those planet travels nor have the knowledge to do so
>It continues like that until
>yep
>lefties
>Not sjw bullshit, real commie shit.
>Humans that where dumped or born in that society and desired to give autonomy to the natives of the land
>Some sub-commandant Marcos shit
>The day of the rope for the ones in charge beggins
>[insert commie novel in here]
>War ends, an agreement to give independent autonomy to the natives but also both human and the now proclaimed "_____" planet economies interaction are allowed.
>[Insert important document about freedoms n shit, of the press, people, slavery, etc]
>Forward time later
>Humans and ______ natives co-exist
>/pol/ now makes daily shitposting threads about interspecism, /an/ and /mlp/ became red boards.
>/trash/ is now predominant /b/ and /b/ becomes archived
>/v/ stays as it is
> same with /tg/
>Screencap of how anon found a drunk giraffe and forcefeed her a bowl of eggs

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Hnng... Must not... Give in...
Must... Give... In.. No! No!
Hard to... Think...
Hard to... Hard... Hard coc- No!
My name is... Tina
Tina... My name is...
My name is... Name is... T... T-toy?
Yes... my name is Toy!

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>>7355775

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>>7355929

I want to fuck male and female otter twins.

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>>7337200
>>7336855
Pic very related

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well she wants to have sex now, i know those stories don't happen anymore, but i'm nervous, i mean at our job she was serious, and sometimes quiet, but here she is like a whole new person, she's flirty and loves making jokes, and i didn't expect her to be the kind of girl who wants to have sex on our first date,but i'm going for it hope it don't fuck up anything
so far it has been perfect

>>7357929
go for it man
get some mantis pu$$y

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>>7357949
yeah i'm going for it, for it, i'll stop making her wait and i'll be out for a while wish me luck

>>7358209
Don't let her eat your head

>>7358323
Actually the reason that preying mantises actually ever eat their mate is due to needing food to help lay their eggs.

So just make sure to use protection to prevent fertilizing her.

To both prevent and save lives.

>>7358404
actually that only happens if thay are feeling extremely pressured or starving

>>7357929
She trusts you enough to show you the real her.

Up

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What is your favorite furry celebrity?

Mine is Kass!

>>7361514

Draco. Oh gods, yes, Draco... Just thinking about him makes me wet!

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>>7361640
Nick Wilde, of course!

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>>7358893
she is sleeping now and we are cuddling, she is really cute when sleeping
we will take a bath later tomorrow,
and before you ask she didn't want to eat my head, that didn't happen, i mean she did give me head and me too but that's just a methaphor

>>7361843
Did she jerk you off with her forelimbs?

>>7361843
Well I hope things work out for you too!

Can humans and furries can have babies?

What do you guys think of my new human suit? I am gonna where it to the next humancon ^_^

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>>7361873
actually she did, i'm surprised on how good it felt this whole night was heavenly honestly.

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>>7361938
pic related

>>7361938
>>7361948
Is it weird that as a human I would totally fuck you in your humansuit?

>I know my horse neighbor is a futa after I saw her watering her plants one morning from my bedroom window
>she was freaking completely nude, and it bounced as she walked
>she caught me staring once and smirked
>she didn't seem to mind, infact she seemed to like someone watching her
>now every morning she does a small show while I watch

Should I go for something?

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Could any foxes in the audience explain to me why you're all so obnoxiously gay?

I see one regularly when I go to the gym, asshole thinks he's the cutest motherfucker on the planet.

>run into him in the sauna
>try to relax like a normal person
>notice he's staring but trying not to look like he's staring
>and of course noticing that I can't -not- notice he's pitching a tent in his towel
>says 'hi'
>leave

I think I'm being pretty clear that I'm not interested, but I dunno, maybe he thought I was at a half-chub or something when I walked out (I wasn't, I'm not gay.) but ever since then whenever I see him at the gym he's either staring or giving me bedroom eyes and that's not cool.

I get that all gay men want the horse-cock, but just because you want it doesn't mean I'm the one to give it to you, man. And you better believe I'm not cool with the fact that he's definitely polished that fox-dick thinking about me.

No idea how to deal.

>>7362163
>Should I go for something?

Depends entirely on what you want to do with that dick, anon. If she's still giving you shows she definitely wants to put it in you.

Assuming that you're cool with that, maybe make the universal hand job motion during her next performance and see how she reacts.

>>7362163
Do it and tell us how it went.

>>7363428
tell him how you feel

>>7363428
>I get that all gay men want the horse-cock
Don't flatter yourself. Horses are two pump chumps.

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>>7365688
And pig orgasms last a half hour or more.

>>7363428

Horsefag (who coincidentally happens to be bi) here, and I sure as he'll wish I had your problems, mate.

Saw this amazing doberman chick and basically went half-hard during the rest of my workout. Basically ditched part way through my elliptical routine because there was no way that kind of motion wasn't going to make a big problem bigger, if you get my drift.

Shower didn't help. I don't usually go for the whole 'locker room prison orgy' thing but I couldn't shake this mental image of a sexy horse type taking notice and responding in kind...

Long story short, went from half mast to full relatively quickly. Tried to be cool about it, you can't really cover it at this point, just pretend it ain't there and act casual, right? Don't call attention to the way it flexes whenever somebody gives it a look...

So yeah, outed by my traitor dick. Word's made it around and I get hit on in the shower once in a while. Certainly wouldn't mind so much if we had even one twinky fox type, or a twinky anything, really; instead of all these huge daddy types, ugh.

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>>7362163

Do it. I use to date a futa horse a while back. Never got on the receiving end, but the dynamic of the horse cock and the musk was hard to resist.

Such a good piece of ass.

I've seen a trap horse with a tiny dick. About 6 inches. Had a really nice ass.

>>7326478
Fuckin nomadic deers keep going on my property and stealing my vegetables

How do I deal /trash/?

>>7366967
I use the catch, rape, and release method. That makes them stop. But the ones that don't stop at least pay for the vegetables with their body.

>>7366984
Jesus dude thats horrendously illegal
[Spoiler] what method do you use? [/spoiler]

>>7366992
Set up a bunch of nets around your trees. Get some of those snap traps and cover them in whatever foliage you have. And spray all your vegetables with a concoction that will knock out whatever deer takes a taste, nibble, lick, bite, whatever.

Just be sure to wash your vegetable thoroughly before using them for yourself. Nearly drowned in my homemade soup. I'm sure my regular deer thief would be heartbroken if I had.

My favorite part of work is the glory hole,
who would have thought and entire economy could be run on jizz?

>>7367029
I got the greatest blowjob of my life from a gloryhole. Imagine my surprise when I saw it was a great white shark coming out of the stall. Truly I got my dick sucked by a master of his craft.

>>7367045
well thats what happens when you can rip your teeth out and regrow them within the hour

Is president trump going to do anything about the illegal underground horse pill trading?
thats like the 5th bird i've seen with a horsedong

>>7367168

What? Care to explain?

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hey it's me again, and thanks for today being a day off for everyone where i work i could stay cuddling until noon
man, she is so cute sleeping.
i can't believe people would call her scary at our job, maybe it is because she i our boss and somites she is stritc, but other than that she is cute

>>7367292
the illegal demand for horsedongs
people aren't wanting to pay for the pills and get the psych check out, so they turned to semi illegal drugs
this shit has to be cracked down, those last few horsecocks didn't seem right

>>7367411
Dude, you're fucking your boss?
Good job mate, just be careful for when your coworkers find out, they will keep asking for favors because you are the boss' boyfriend

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>>7366443

Any reptiles at your gym?

We scalies tend to be quite stronk.

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>>7367825
well, it was our first time having sex, but she already said "just because i love you darling that doesn't mean i'll won't treat you specially on our job." i think she's not joking at that one
dating your boss isn't that big of a deal

What is with other species getting breast implants to make themselves look more like human women? Not all guys care if you have a flat chest.

t. a guy who would totally cum on your perky little nips

>>7368807
You're a pretty lucky guy
I've been trying to ask this cute moth girl on a date for a while, but i haven't mustered up the courage yet, but she seems to be pretty interested in me

what even is this shit

>>7367411
Wait. SHE'S YOUR BOSS?! Well that means you get EXTRA promotion if you give her great sex!

>Having imaginary girlfriends.

Is this a ruse? It is, right?

>>7373725
It can be anything you want. Wether you want to have a human and furry argument about how humans are inferior to anthros.

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>>7373658
i never tought about that, i'm happy being just a bartender, have been one since her bar went into bussiness.
there was one time where only me and her we're working because we had to fire most of our staff, she had to be the waitress, and hoestly she was kinda cute in that outfit, i'm glad she let me take this picture

>>7373925
>humans are inferior to anthros
Kek. Some of you anthros can't even stop licking your own assholes in public. Or whining about reparations for shit that happened 700 years ago.

>>7353953
>
That fox looked Much better without the whale tits...and Love Tig ol bitties.

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>>7375505
This

>>7373999
You two should share the ownership of your bar, since you two seem to he there since the beginning.
Since you two are a couple already it will make sense

>>7345331
>thinking there are ANY furry threads not jam packed full of autism
Do like the rest of us normals. Grab your porn on get out.
ANYONE with any sort of text input is usually fucking retarded.
That said, I'm sure that applies to most threads...

if evolution is real how the animals still exist if anthros exist?

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>>7383404
It's better not to think about it to hard.

>>7385233
Furs still believe the shaving off fur makes them lose weight meme?

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>>7385283
Yeah
>tfw everyone buying those "lose weight" vibrating collars
I wonder if they are stupid or desesperste. I once saw a snake wearing one, it looked like a belt LOL

>>7385371
Oh God, please tell me it was a sake skin bet.

>>7385405
>*snake
Fucking library only has rodent keyboards.

>>7385371
You sure she was wearing it voluntarily?

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>>7385371
i remember a salesman of these kinds of 'weight loss" collars, he was drunk and the bartenders never tell their clients secrets, but since i'm keeping his and his company identity secret there is no problem wiith me saying, but he said that that weight loss collars don't actually make you lose weight, so it's easy to scam other people.
well now more people than me and my boss know about it

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>>7385371
>>7385405
There is an
>ashes to ashes
Joke here somewhere
>>7385454
I'm pretty sure that unless there is a laughstock fetish, it wasn't erotic. It looked like a weaselball Trying to walk a straight line. Like a drunken dildo.

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>>7385626
You don't have to be a genius to know this is [spoiler] snake oil [\spoiler]
Anyway, they should have filled for bankruptcy but people want to believe it works, and the people around them don't want to brake their delusion.

(OOC: we are at the bump limit, someone make a new thread)

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>>7386049
this isn't the whole story but i must keep being vague due to my job, sso let's just say it's better for you to never use it

>>7386153
You are cute

>>7386184
(OOC:should i get images of random bartenders? my character is dating a mantis, but he is a human)
thanks for the compllement but i already am dating with my boss

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>>7347526

By law Hooters Inc. is an equal opportunity employer.

... Unfortunately

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>>7386216
>already am dating with my boss
No you are not

>>7386307
it's all here on this thread if you want to see, we had our first date this sunday

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>>7386354
That was not a question human.

>>7386396
so what do you want?
if is any secret i'll have to be vague, bartenders promise to not tell about what their clients say

>>7386423
That's therapists, not bartenders.

>>7386450
believe me drunk salesmen always keep making me promise that, so that it just became our a untold rule for us bartenders

>>7386423
A cute human bartender <3

>>7386533
thank you for the complement i guess
but i'm a loyal man so you won't woo me like that

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>>7386617
Im better looking dear ;3

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>>7386706
sorry, i'm taken but if you want to, come to our bar we are at _______st.
but no discounts sadly

>>7386787
Well what a lucky female she is then
How or where can I get a human?

>>7386854
well humans are everywhere, maybe not as commomly as in the past, but they are there
just be try to make friends with one, don't be impatient, try to make him interested in you to be his girlfriend, that's the best advice i can get, honestly i'm not that good at giving love advice

>>7386913
Hey not trying to swing you, but do you find me attractive? -///-

>>7386942
Of course you are, and with your confidence you'll get a boyfriend in no time

>>7355621
>>7326478
OCC
I also just realized that op pic reminds me a lot of a communist flag
Should we do some autistic original content around this stupid shit?

>>7387034
Sure why not? I enjoyed autistically pretending furries were real and making up shit about them.

>>7387034
OOC
sure, keep being the bartender here, it might be fun talking about stories about drunk clients

>>7387145
*i'll keep...

New bread when?