ITT: Pokemon are real. Who was your first pokemon? Info:

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>>7294093
This lil fella I got a scant hours ago.

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great news I discovered how easilly to go to and back from the distortion world
>>7294029
you seem easily agitated Today, want me to show you my favorite games

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>>7294093
A little fellow I started caring for at the tender age of 24.
You might know him as 'odd doggo' or 'Azoth' (Internet and former Trainer nicknames respectively), and he's the best friend a guy could ask for.

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>>7294112
>The Shadow Triad member's Greninja makes the 'come at me' taunt

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>>7294118
Jay a cute, bro.
A cute!
>>7294136
It's time to go back please.

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>>7294136
YOU FUCKING ABOMINATION I SWEAR TO ARCEUS I'LL-
If you come near my friends Zekrom and Nihilego will make you regret ever being brought back.

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>>7294093
I guess the ones that don't try and kill me

Day 4

Of not knowing who the fuck I am, just my species. I'd use my moveset to defend myself but ever since I lost my memory I don't even know my own moves. I wish I knew someone who could help me also I kinda side tract for the last few days and now it'll take maybe a week to get out of this wasteland

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Hello fellow humans, I would like to know how to function the currency retrieval machines around town. I have acquired a currency card from the ""roommates"" but as many humans do I am feeling stupid again and forgot how they worked. Please help soon yes?

>>7294093
Fuschiafag, my first Pokemon was an Eevee. We're inseparable. My first job was mopping floors so I could buy her an evolution stone.
Now Vaporeon is being silly while watching me type this.

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>>7294093
PkCFag 'ere.
This little dude, right here. Best buddy I could ask for.

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>>7294229
Don't bother with the machines...
Learn to play guitar.
That's what I-
..... Put it in the machine, type in your pin, and then select the amount.

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>>7294264
GLAD TO SEE THE TOXIN IS STARTING TO WEAR OFF NOODLE ARMED ONE
PERHAPS LATER I COULD CHALLENGE YOUR POKEMON TO FISTICUFFS

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>>7294021
>>7293956
Have plenty of fun!
Don't worry about the price
I have the money.
>He slams back some expensive looking sake

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>>7294188
And to think a few weeks ago I wasn't considering taking on the responsibility of having a living being in your care, looking up to you. Always felt too lazy for that.

>>7294227
Keep walking south, maybe you will find something or someone.
...are you sure you're not walking in circles?

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A-a ninja saved me.
God, I need to check on Dusty, thanks N.

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>>7294264
Yes this is good information. I will find this small pin and give it a type. Perhaps the fires.

But not fighting. Fighting is garbage. Yes good.

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>>7294287
YOU WANNA FUCKING GO YOU INSECT ZEKROM WILL POUND YOU INTO THE-
It will take a while before they wear off.
Any luck stealing these IRRITATING AS ALL FU-
... ahem, rather persistent fangirls?

>>7294316
What do you, like, do? Fuck, this is good stuff.

>>7294352
Speaking of the fan girls, still have that gift basket?

>>7294324
Are you okay? Does dustox need help?

>>7294352
So did you ever get those Frilly pink Underwear off or are you still stuck with them

>>7294388
(not canon)

>>7294396
(Yes it was you mong, an anon started launching nukes over them)

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>>7294316
Fuck yeah motherfucker this is the good shit

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>>7294093
A houndour that I named Schwarz. I only had him for a few years though, he came down with an illness and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with him until it was too late.

...Ah hell, I still miss the little guy at times.

>>7294316
>Gunther gets together some Whiskey and Cola.

>>7294408
(ahahahahaha)

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>>7294368
Yes. Zekrom carries a bag with all of our supplies.
I still don't know what the stuff is for - none of it seems relevant to me.
Why would I need a whip and handcuffs?
>>7294388
No. They won't come off until Arceus says they can come off.
Every human from that thread still has there's.

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>>7294385
I gave the ninja guy the chips. I'm heading to the pokemon center.
Sorry you had so save me N.

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>>7294485
I don't. I burned it off. It was worth the burn heals.

>>7294487
Alright dude, stay safe. Hope Dustys alright.

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>>7294093
My onix of course!

him and i have crushed many nerds over the years.... ah yes...

>>7294485
...Do you really not know?

...They're sex toys. Your fangirls gave you toys to make sex more interesting with them.

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>>7294363
I am an actor
Kabuki and one... less noble.
I am easy to find.
>>7294416
>>7294431
>He slides everyone a Gigi's liquid gold cocktail

>>7294562
You got beat up by a wimpy rat that your pokemon were mostly immune to.

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>>7294525
That's hardcore, buddy. I respect that.
>>7294487
Insist on staying in the room for the treatment, and make sure any 'booster shots' don't go to organs or brain-meats.
I hate being paranoid, but you never know after the Unova thing. Godspeed.

>>7294583
A Kabuki huh?
That's really neat, I'll check you.
I've always liked those.

This is good shit.

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>>7294569
WHY WOULD I FUCK THEM I DONT EVEN LI-
.... I don't understand how these can be used in a sexual situation.
Particularly the random liquid.
Do you have any explanation for the pictures of every famous male I know?

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>>7294596
Listen here you little shit; that fucking homo faggot cheated his way through the league. I would have fed him to my geodudes if not for the laws of this land.

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>>7294533
Thanks. I hope he is too.
>>7294600
I'll be sure to. Sorry I scared you guys.

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>>7294668
Hey everyone look at this faggot
he doesn't like to fuck girls

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>>7294583
... less noble?
Everything kinda feels less noble than kabuki, what do you mean?
.... Shit my beak is gold coated now.

>>7294670
I'm sorry I can't hear you over how terrible you are as a gym leader, let alone a breeder, in either sense.

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>>7294321
I think I walked in a circle? Like I said they way I went made me loose my self REAL badly


>>7294723
Hey bro don't judge him like that remember the saying? Father like Son?

>>7294723
Yes, he much prefers his Black boyfriend.

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>>7294723
WHEN I FIND YOU I'M GOING TO TEAR YOUR DICK OFF SO HARD IT BECOMES A VAGI-
Who I participate in sexual activities with in non of your business, Cyclops.

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>>7294748
I'm sorry i was too distracted fucking your hot mom. I guess you didn't get those genes though. ugly shit.

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>>7294723
He might not swing any which way, bro.
Some people swing one way, some swing both ways, some don't swing at all
And then there's guys like you, who swing, like, from the nearest lamppost when somebody not on your payroll catches you.
. . .
Shit, that was dark even for a death threat. Oh well.

>>7294827
>my mom
>hot
God damn I know your a manslut, but atleast have SOME taste in women.

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>>7294803
Haha, you want to touch a mans dick
And your own fathers no less.
God how did I raise fuck a Flaming Faggot like you

>>7294600
I tried asking please, but Arceus didn't consider that I was groveling enough. Thus, drastic measures were needed to recover my dignity.

>>7294748
Remind him of his greatest failure in the Orange Islands.

>>7294723
At least people love him. I know, you don't even understand (understand) the concept (the concept) of love.

>>7294788
You have been posting pics of the same place over and over, friend.

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>>7294860
(WOOSP)

>>7294851
It doesn't take a Psychic to tell you that most of your answers are in the mirror there.

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>>7294851
YOU DIDNT FUCKING RAISE ANYTHING
I DOUBT YOU EVEN FUCKING RAISE YOURSELF OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING, FATASS.
HOW BIG IS THE FUCKING CRANE

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>>7294917
KEEP IT UP
LET IT ALL OUT FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR

>>7294917
God knows he cant get *it* raised anymore, either.

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>>7294917
there show the world your true feelings
tell everyone what you think of them

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>>7294847
Pussy is pussy. Now I am off to fuck Ash's mom tonight. she's crying over something about him dying or something I don't care. Good luck on not being a failure.

>>7294917
Fuschiafag here, how does he even see over that ridiculous goddamn collar!?
He looks like the time Vapey had to wear the 'Cone of Shame' as an Eevee.

>>7294949
>hitting the town bike
Come on now man, even oaks been in there. That's just nasty.

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>>7294977
Oak, Blue (pre wishening), Blue (post wishening), Red, Red's Mewtwo... the list continues.

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Dusty's going to be fine.
I know that guy made it sound like Dusty didn't actually get anyone with that Poison Powder but he actually got like 5 of them.

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>>7294860
(To lazy to actually download more images of a wasteland and my phones shit mate but I'll role with it) I know man... it's just really difficult navigating a shit hole

>>7294917
There's a radio station here that calls itself Sinnohs Salts wasteland, and I'm sending this recording to them cause holyshit this is funny

>>7294946
You my friend ate still a faggot checkmate

Wait why did I put checkmate that doesn't even make sense

>>7295029
Looks like I made a mistake that "ate" is supposed to be "are"

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I heard someone here has a problem with homosexuals

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>>7295067
Arceus? Holy crap. I thought I saw you when those guys grabbed me.

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>>7295067
Hey uh... You like, forgive me for all the shit I did, right?

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>>7295029
Well supposedly Arceus fixed the situation, but guess there are still some pockets where it didn't.
Keep walking in a straight line in any direction?

>>7295067
Oh my god it's still pink

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>>7294728
Take a guess my friend

>>7295214
>tfw ignored

>>7295067
Hey Arceus, May I ask if the world can Have Goodra pheromones back?
My Goodra has been depressed and suicidal ever since they you took them away and I hate seeing it sad like this

>>7295226
(I didn't want to respond to multiple people with a lewd image, I'll go back and respond to everyone I missed in that one)

>>7294652
Glad that you like it
Gigi's liquid gold mix
Many check their crap

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>>7295214
Hey, whatever pays the bills, bro. No judgment.
>>7295067
Holy... you. Talk about, like, a religious experience.
>>7295091
Hey, Arceus rocks the pink like a champ. Don't trash talk the pink.

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>>7295214
Well, everyone needs to make money somehow.

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Welp I'm home now. Potentially a wanted criminal.
>Turn on the TV.
>The guys from the factory putting out a warrant for someone who looks like me.
Well...

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>>7295524
Actual wanted criminal here, I have some tips.

Change your appearance up a little, play it cool with cops, and don't volunteer info beyond what you're legally required to.
These tips let me waltz through Hau'Oli's checkpoints during the Alola Incident for two full days.

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>>7295091
Well ok I guess?

>>7295067
Oh shi- Arceus can you and Giratina forgive me for leaving the Distortion World? Aether opened a portal and they tried taking pokemon to kidnap and become slaves of somesorts, I had to stop them so I went through and... and...

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>>7295653
My parents are going to fucking kill me...

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>>7295715
Just don't spill the fucking beans, change your outfit a bit, and maybe get a haircut. The more you panic, the worse it gets. Play. It. Cool.

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>>7295774
I won't I'm just glad Dusty didn't get hurt.
I'm gonna get a haircut and stuff but- How do I not get my parents to get on my trail?

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>>7295820
Figure out an alibi and play it cool?

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>>7295917
Rrright. I was out training Dusty and he got hurt.
And... I was practicing with my dad's crossbow...

>>7295941
Your dustox was moving targets for you and you missed, accidentally shooting it. Everyone is fine you won't use the crossbow again without permission.

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>>7295941
Keep working on it. Just say you were out for target practice and tripped. That explains the crossbow and the injuries.

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>>7296010
>>7296027
Thanks guys. I'm probably gonna lurk and spend some time with Dusty.
Uh, thanks again N. Um, if I can help anymore I'll do my best.
I-I really want to be useful, so, please! I'll help as much as I can!

>>7296093
Stay calm, man.

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i can say i never thought id be delivering stuff halfway across the world

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>>7296307
Me neither.
I can still feel the jet lag.

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>>7296401
im on my way to spear pillar
you want a ride
youre the guy with the bigass backpack right?

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>>7296420
Bigass backpack, 2 liters of max repel, a shock baton of dubious legality and a recently befriended magnemite, yes.

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>>7296455
sweet
i got a car waiting for me in town you want a lift
's free

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>>7296420
>>7296455
If you're heading this way, we can have a hot meal out by the time you arrive. Just say the word, friends.

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>>7296492
>>7296519
Well there goes the "show up at the entrance unannounced at 5 AM, drop care package, run off without being seen" plan. Never been a fan of in person meet ups.
But then, lots of plans getting dashed these days.

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>>7296519
you want me to pick up potions for you guys or anything?
youre good by my standards
>>7296609
to be fair i was gonna just dump the memories on them but w/e
come on were taking a car

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>>7296630
>>7296609
I can make dinner take-out if you're on a timetable. As for Potions, a few more can't hurt, and I can pay you back plus some.

>>7296630
>>7296682
Well, beats walking. Bringing full restores as well.
This care package has grown at an exponential rate.

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>>7296747
(avatarfag problems strike again)

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>>7296682
its gonna be on moms credit card i dont care about repayment
what do you need hyper potions a solid gold pipe? hahaha
seriously give me a checklist i can afford like fifty new cars with all the money on this
>>7296747
alright were on the road now
so whats your camera motive anyway?
fun?

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>>7296776
Hyper potions and some Releve for myself. I stopped drinking after the brief flirt with nuclear annihilation we had.
We've got some fresh baked goods if you'd like some, heheh.
>>7296759
I owe you a huge favor, and have a fair sum of cash I'd like to donate to the "Streaming the Revolution" fund.

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>>7296776
Somehow managed to convince the space/time powers that be to install a bunch of cameras on a ship that shouldn't exists crewed by the craziest bunch of asskickers known to the Internet, got control over said cameras and streamed everything, made the world's greatest and most popular Internet fueled 24 hours reality show.
Now I'm just bringing the streams online in a slightly different format, and dropping off a few things more.

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>>7296828
alright its on the list
cooking supplies or anything?
ill be sure to try your brothers famous malasadas dont worry
>blazin
im in on this action too
>>7296889
hey no problem with that we both have a noble goal
streaming and helping friends
goes hand in hand
probably
anyway lets break some speed laws

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Hi! Friends! Hi! Hi!
How're you?
Huh? Huh?

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>>7296828
>>7296889
And of course, all with a side of activism because it's the least I can do in these times where mass genocide seems to be popular. Also because of all the unsavory moments caught on camera.

Don't worry about payments, my day job can afford it.

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>>7296918
texting while driving
how are you little buddy?

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>>7296918
Kicking back and enjoying myself in a bar right now.

How about you, little buddy?

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>>7296918
Cooking right now.
Are you near a big mountain, by any chance?
>>7296930
>>7296915
Thanks. One order of fresh classic malasadas coming up for you guys.

>>7296918
Fuschiafag here, I'm up late and sharing a drink with Vapey. Well, more like she insisted on trying it, I let her, and she decided it's not her thing.

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>>7296935
>>7296964
Good! Good!
Got poof puff! Puff!

>>7297026
Mt. Chimney!
Yeah! Yeah!

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>>7297089
I'm near a big mountain too, Mt. Coronet. It's a long way away.

Congrats on getting the Puff, bro. Was it given to you, or did someone drop one?

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>>7297026
cool
i picked up some cooking stuff for you anyway
i just picked the most expensive stuff i saw
idk what most of this shit is fuckin edible gold leaf and shit
>>7297089
youre pretty cute little guy

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>>7297112
Found!
Zig'd then Zag'd! Zag'd!
Then found puff! Puff!

>>7297120
Make puffs!
Yeah! Yeah!

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>>7297089
Well if it isn't my favourite zigzagoon (that is still alive).
Careful with the puffs, it might give you a sugar rush.

>>7297120
These will be some blingin malasadas.

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>>7297193
you make em?
>>7297199
the blingest
anyway we should be hitting spear pillar in another twenty
who thinks i should drive this thing up the stairs

>>7297230
>ramp over the entire pillar
yeah please dont

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>>7297120
I'll make a little bow out of it and coat them in bespoke artisanal whatever else you've got.
>>7297193
Nice. Take it slow with that puff, the crash from a sugar rush is no fun.

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>>7297230
No make but!
Zoom! Zoom!
Yeah! Yeah!

>>7297253
No slow!
Gotta Zig! Zig!
Gotta Zag! Zag!
Goooon!

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>>7297241
yeah sounds like a bad idea
ill park outside
>>7297253
yeah i'll get you all this crap
idk man youll probably dig it
>>7297295
youre an excitable little dude huh?
dont get yourself in any trouble
bout another 10 minutes

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>>7297318
Malasadas are done, bro.
Meet you outside?

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>>7297347
yeah my edgelord status prevents me from treading on sacred ground
also i got those memories for azoth
plus a bunch of other garbage
alright im here wheres my welcoming party?

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And we're finally here. I can smell the tension in the air.
Actually what I smell the most is ozone from Jay here, he seems to be equally ecstatic. Or maybe it's just the static.

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>>7297383
>A fellow in a bllodstained dress shirt comes out with a massive grin and some fresh malasadas, because why not.
Hey, hey. What's up?

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>>7297426
man you look like youve been to hell and back
>he takes a malasada and hands him an extremely heavy duffel bag
>along with a paper bag
theres some supplies aaaaand memories for azoth
plus some study files which might help him out

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>>7297364
>>7297383
>>7297468
>Curious Chimera Dog noises.

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>>7297468
Well, I have been to hell and back, assuming Nimbasa during the hostilities counts as hell./
Thanks for all this. I promise we'll put it to good use.

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>>7297364
>>7297383
>A snivy walks out
Hello.
I'm Sniffers.
>Offers a vine to shake

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>>7297468
>>7297426
Hey, bros. Name's Ray. John's my big brother.

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>>7297475
hey buddy youre lookin good
>>7297510
hey not a problem for me
while im not gonna go burning down my moms corporation
probably
ill at least help you guys out
>>7297554
>he shakes the vine
hey sniffers
hopefully youll get something- actually
>he puts a seed in the snivy's vine
miracle seed, thats my gift
>>7297570
hey ray nice to meet you
these malasadas are damn good

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>>7297426
Helloyouseemtoneeddnewclothesandandandandand...
..
..
Okay sorry, I'm a nervous wreck. Let's get to business. Let's go in order of importance:
>6x Full Restore
>3x Max Revive
Now the stuff to keep up the streams running
>4x HD cameras
>2x arcade sticks
Finally, the care package for the growing family
>6x jars of baby formula for mammalian pokemon
>2x unmarked boxes
Please don't unwrap these last boxes, they're private and specifically addressed to Z&L. Or do and get probably clawed in the face.
>Jay doing the electrical version of a snicker

Alright, time for the malasadas.

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>>7297585
Azoth's pretty bright. Sometimes brighter than me and my brother.
>Handshakes and chuckles
I'm hoping things settle down a little. Well, enough that I come home with blood on my shirt less often.

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>>7297475
This is the moment I have been always waiting for
The moment of petting the odd doggo.

>>7297554
>Shaking the vine vigorously
Hello.

>>7297570
Hello, you can remember me from philosophical conversations on pokemon sentience and the morality of catching them, and metaphysical discussions about dreams that aren't actually dreams.

Jay, say hello, as well.
>bzzzzzzzzzzzrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttt
I should give it a loudspeaker and see what happens.

>>7297585
I concur on the malasadas.

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>>7297604
Thanks, bro. I'll make sure the boxes get where they're supposed to, and we'll have the stream up pretty quick.
>>7297585
Thanks, man. I've had a while to refine this recipe.

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>>7297585
Thank you for the gift.
It should serve me well in the future.

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>>7297585
>>7297658
Hello!
>The dog offers a paw.

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>>7297644
yeah he seems smarter than mine
haha
>>7297658
yeah theyre great
>>7297673
nice work dude!
>>7297675
sure hope it does bro
>>7297686
hey hey
>shakes

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>>7297644
Azoth certainly has a bright future. At least by comparison to the present, ha.
...sorry.
You should be looking for the next home, preferably one not one an hour uphill in a car.

>>7297673
The place they're supposed to be is their bedroom, and if anyone asks, they're "solutions to a problem Jirachi couldn't or didn't want to solve". About 48 of them.

I will have to configure the site all again when I get back to the hotel, no need to rush.


>>7297686
Hello!
>Achievement unlocked: petted the odd doggo

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>>7297769
>>7297789
Nice to meet you! Thank you!

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>>7297769
Yeah, he's part of the family at this point, too. Ray even let him crack a height joke without getting short over it, which you've got to be family to get away with.
>Disgruntled mouse noises
>>7297789
I'm in agreement on the bright future. Someday we'll figure out how to get the mask off so he can taste the malasadas without us trying to pull some psychic mind-screw shenanigans.
As for a new place to crash, maybe once Unova settles back down. Some people there owe us favors now.

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>>7297769
Sweet. Feel free to take the rest of those for the road, bro.
>>7297789
I get you, and I'll get these boxes to them, like, hella fast.

>>7297842
We actually tried psychic mind-screw shenanigans, by the way. It at least partly worked.

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>>7297842
nice to know you guys are getting along
honestly hes the last one made so i think hes the smartest and has the highest strength capabilities so
take care of that guy
if you let some evil shithead get him im gonna kick your ass personally

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>>7297871
(always reply right as someone else posts)
thanks man i will
probably gonna grab some zs in the car and let streamdude drive it wherever
i trust him with my life, dude didnt even bat an eye when i was going 100 down the road
stay frosty etc

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>>7297842
I have a feeling he's getting out of that mask soon. Not too soon, but soon enough. Although let's be honest, it's never soon enough to get that valve removed.
If I had to move somewhere in the big 7 regions, I'd pick Unova too, I like Castelia, a huge city to blend in.

>>7297871
Thanks. Also I'm not mentioning any of these shenanigans anywhere on the Internet least someone made a part two to THAT fic.

>>7297877
>>7297920
Ah hell, I barely even drive home.
Jay, please zap me if I start feeling sleepy.
>electrical agreement noises

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>>7297877
>>7297920
Thanks again. I'll take good care of this big guy, don't worry.
>He laughs and pets odd doggo.
As for some shithead grabbing him, well, over my literal dead body.
Catch you later, gentlemen.

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>>7297920
>>7298000
Be safe on your travels.
Again, thanks for the supplies.

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(lets bend the timing a little because I'm putting too much time into writing post)
>>7298002
Clark would be happy Azoth is in great hands, too. Maybe he is, watching from the distortion realm what with being close to the pillar here.

>>7298033
Be safe on yours as well, and don't get seen too much with plushies.

Welp, bye. See you later, maybe IRL again some day.
(grueling 1.5 hours of downhill driving in the early morning)
(zap count: 2)

streambro a cute

(Bump)

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A group of what I thought were refugees came to my camp with gifts.
They weren't refugees, although they looked the part.
I let my guard down, I got clocked with a forty of rum.
They stole some things, thought they were smart, thought I wouldn't find them in the desert.
Turns out they weren't as smart as they thought.

No more refugees, only friends and allies.
Pyrite will become a fortress, a bastion of hope in the vast desert and cruelty of the world.
I need to get to work.

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>>7296918
FUCKING AW-
Terrible.
Stay away from Nihilegos.
My condition is stabilized
But it is still unpleasant
>>7297920
Gladion
Buddy
Pal
Friend
Homie
Your mother is Aether
Do you know approximately how long it takes Nihilego toxins to wear off?
I have been confessing a great deal of things I would otherwise not do, and it is unpleasant, to say the least.

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>>7299831
HOPEFULLY THE EFFECTS OF THE TOXIN COMPLETELY WEAR OFF SOON, IT SEEMED AS IF EVERYONE WAS GETTING TO YOU AND YOU WERE QUITE UNPLEASANT TO BE AROUND.
AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT I HAVE A PLAN TO GET MY FANS BACK FROM YOU

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>>7299918
FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU GET SWA-Hopefully so.
I certainly do not enjoy their company.
However, if they discover a favorite hobby of mine I fear all of your efforts will be for naught.

>>7299940
Oh? Mind telling me what it is? Asking for a friend.

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>>7300382
Zekrom enjoys the rock music genre, so during my down time since reviving him I have been learning to play guitar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBpe2YQEzZo

>>7299918
Rip Buzz, muscles can't compete with magic fingers >>7300433

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>>7300433
Well that suuure is some skill ya got there sonny.
And my favourite song too?
I'd ought to introduce you to my family, they'd love the heck out of ya.

>>7300433
Welp, you've been bamboozled, friendo. Now the fangirls will start FINDING you. They'll start going out into the woods in ravenous hordes begging for you to play for them... Or play with them, if you know what I mean, but you probably don't so I'll just tell you I mean they'll be trying to have sex with you.

>>7300433
Hi there Natural Harmonia Gropius

I want a Machop bro.

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>>7301050
I strive to become a maestro at some point. If I am in the area at any point I shall see about playing for you.
>>7301313
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN FUCK THEM
FUCK YOU AN-
Urgh. I suppose I shall simply return to camping in caves.
The zubats need company anyway.
>>7301410
DO NOT REFER TO ME-
Ugh. Please refrain from referring to me by the name that man gave me.

>>7301712
That redneck probably has a daughter who's one of your fans, watch yourself.

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>>7302052
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST LIVE ON AETHER PARADISE
I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THEM

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>>7302089
you feeling alright bro?

>>7302089
Better idea, go to Unova and stab Ghestis in the everywhere until you feel like yourself again.

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>>7302089
hello little Harmonia, still off your face on Nihilego toxins I see
while you have been snorting poison, I have been having a jolly old time at the daycare playing my own version of duck, duck goose with some Eggs and a baseball bat

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>leave car parked roughly where I think we departed
>zap
>walking back to the hotel
>zap
>stand still for a second in the elevator
>zap
>attempt a stream notice
>"Notice: The Farsail Crew stream will be back.."
>zap
>"...back online soon"
>zap
>Jay please I'm going to sleep right here at keyboard

>>7301712
Let them not know your name or they will name themselves "Gropius groupies".

>>7302219
Fucksticks
Wake me up whenever

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>>7302104
Ye-
....no.
I was kidnapped by a Nihilego.
I caught it before any extreme metal damage happened, but it is like being intoxicated constantly.
Inhibitions only exist with extreme concentration.
My father has chosen the worst time to become my personal demon, particularly in regards to sensitive topics.
I can no longer go to the main land without fear of rape, but I can neither stay on Aether Paradise for fear of death.
I can't...
I just want to be myself again.
>>7302105
No I don't....
That's not.... That's not me....
Violence isn't the answer...
>>7302219
You mean the one in Sinnoh?
Look behind you, if you can turn that far.

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>>7302306
you wanna come over to my place in sinnoh?
im in the room next to streambro i can still hear that magnemite zapping him
about an hour away from mt coronet
youre free to stay with me man

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>>7302306
and why should I bother looking behind me Hmmm
anyway while I was at the Sinnoh daycare I took the liberty of Grabbing a bag of newborn charmander and other fire types and am now on my way to the ocean to give them a little....bath

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>>7302356
I...
I'll see if I can get there without getting kidnapped.
Thank you.
If I do not show up by tomorrow find someone to take care of Zekrom and Nihilego.
>>7302397
Selfish humans like you are the reason the world will never be perfect.
It's not me you should worry about right now.
>The Shadow Triad appears behind Ghetsis

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>>7302450
you think those three little wannabe cosplayers can stop me.
even if I perish there will be others that take my place, they may not share my ideals but they will achieve my goals none the less

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>>7302450
youll fine dude
room 207
if any rabid fangirls follow you in ill torch em for you
we good

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>>7302484
>The Shadow Triad send out Greninja, Mega Scizor, and Mienshao
I'm going to give you one chance to die peacefully, father.
Let it serve as a warning for any who try to take your place.

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>>7302498
I believe so
Thank you again
I should be there in an hour, depending on how tired Zekrom is.

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>>7302508
>thows the sack of pokemon at the shadow triad and starts running
Catch me if you can, you double niggers.
and tell Ns little boyfriend to either wash the dickchease out or get circumcised, I can smell him from all the way over here

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>>7302523
no problem
>>7302538
gonna break your legs if i meet you
ill empty this credit card buying cigarettes and put them all out on your goddamn body

is dustoxbro here?

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>>7301712
Well that's mighty fine of ya.
Got a mighty fine ass on you next to that.
If yur in Orre you just holler and we'l getcha.
>>7302484
HEY YOU.
Ya keeping our boy down or sumthing?
We ain't taking a liking to actions like that.
Tryin' to git his freedom, I'l kick yur teeth in fur that.

>>7302871
if you're here one of my associates in mauville needs a little help with transport

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>>7302871
>>7302920
Oh? Uh, what am I like looking for?

>>7302947
Hey dude you really shouldn't take jobs on anonymous imageboards

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>>7302538
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FUCKING LOST HIM
HE CANT EVEN GET OUT OF BED ON-
... At least you got the Pokemon.
Thank you.
>>7302887
.... Right. I'll make sure to cremate myself so you can't get my corpse.

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>>7302986
Sorry, I'll be more careful.

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>>7302999
Dontcha go act like that boy.
We're just yur biggest fans that's all.
Ethiel just can't stop thinkin' 'bout yur butt.
We'd 'priciate it if you would take sum time out of yur's busy sqe- schegu- if you'd would take sum time to play fur ours family reunion.
Das me on the left though, I'l show ya all corners of the haypile.

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i forgot how great having a lock on my hotel door was
i can just chill here with my fucking shirt off and play videogames
hearthome city is hot af
>>7303094
step off N
unless yer lookin' fer a duel pardner
im the quickest gun in the west

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>>7303105
Hey Gladion I saw a street vender selling locks of your hair

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>>7303105
You'z talkin' smack there boy?
Nothin's gonna get inbetween him 'n us playing freebird on the reunion, ma 'n pa want him there.

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>>7303144
yeah and i saw your dad in breeding stalls
but i dont feel the need to tell everyone
>>7303158
whats twenty rednecks got on a superpowered experiment
come on pardner quit yer yammerin' and draw

>>7303064
How about you come join the Farsail Crew? We have a boat down in Mauville. We all wear blue uniforms, pretty easy to see us.

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>>7303094
>>7303158
I'll play a special song just for you
I call it "FUCK OFF BEFORE YOU GET FUCKING DECKED"

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>>7303176
Oh we ain't there yet yung one.
We ain't cruisin' to yours locations yet.
We'z got sumthing else that needs doing.
Now git your scrawny lil ass out'a here, we'z preying fer the big prize, you' ain't worth our time.

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>>7303206
But that's wrong ya fuckin mong, we don't have uniforms. You IP cunts are bad at your job.

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>>7303206
>We all wear blue uniforms
You mean Team Aqua? I'm not stupid you stupid fucking stupid whale fucking idiots.
Fuck you!

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>>7303206
You ain't think he's that dumb, do ya?
Pirates don't wear uniforms.

Well except those aqua morons, but they ain't the brightest.

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>>7303223
ah never seen wun uh yall back down from a plum little showdown
golly gosh yall must be real scared a' little ol me
yeehaw

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>>7303258
Little dude, why you talkin all weird like?
You partyin without ya boy again?

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>>7303250
how about you tell me where we are, I can come protect you from the idiots
and if you want we can play great games like one I call good touch, bad touch

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>>7303222
Oh.
You be wanting that?
We 'nderstand, we won't be up in yur's face no more.
We'd 'preciate if you'd play freebird one time for our reunion.
But a song not played wantin' ain't a song I'd want to hear.
Stay free lil birdy, we won't try to cage yer no more.
>>7303258
Oh yur comin' at just the right time.
We's got a lot of rage to cool.
Earl is pent up too and he'd be refusing to rub one out on the tepigs again, says it be not right.

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>>7303306
hey guz
nah im fucking around with these rednecks
what up im in sinnoh right now
>>7303315
im gonna turn your fat asses into tepig roast if you dont get back to farming and shut the fuck up

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>>7303310
Oh yeah, I'm out near Mauville.
We can play my favorite game! Poison Powder or Sleep Powder!

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>>7303336
Sinnoh?
Ready yur scranny lil ass.
We be comin'.

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Mornin', bros. There is way too much hostility he-
>>7303310
Let me, like, rephrase that. There's way too much hostility here not aimed at you.

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>>7303354
yeah hurry up null is itching for a fight
yall better bring a big ol gun pal

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>>7303392
Shush yer pretty mouth.
When we roll we roll deep.

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see you delicious morsels Later, I am going back to the distortion world forever.
Lots of Babies and cute pokemon there that just love playing my games
And remember, I will be waiting for you there when you die

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>>7303409
hurry up im itching for a fight
and so is fire silvally
damn i can hear that shit on the first floor
see ya guys soon

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>>7303425
Your presence in the afterlife is the strongest current case for life support for the permanently vegetative.
>>7303442
You've probably got this under control, but give me a call if you get bored and want a quick wrap-up.

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>>7303425
...Oh shit my parents are in there

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>>7303425
More motivation to stay alive I suppose, I hope Giratina kicks your ass.

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>>7303484
thanks man
ill be good though i dont need you getting shot up by any rednecks

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.... Gladion.
I don't have a key, can you get the door?
>>7303315
I hope you realize that I won't be going.
Have this cover I did instead.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=02YA3009PUA
>>7303425
Make sure to grab my father when he gets there.

>>7303491
Fuschiafag here. I'd be more worried about relatives who died young based on what I've seen of that thing.
Oh, and Vapey says she hopes you enjoy being Giratina's chew toy.

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>>7303541
You's got taste little bird.
We won't bother you no more.
Don't call anymore, my poor heart won't take it.

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>>7303541
yeah come on in
sorry about the blood i gotta wash this jacket

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>>7303577
i can fix the blood problem famalam :^)
>teleports Gladion just above the now filled tub

>>7303619
fucking palkia
my fucking pokedex
fu

>>7303345
Are you okay dude?

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>>7303577
It's not a pro-
>>7303619
>>7303639
.... Gladion?
Are you all right?

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>>7303619
god my fucking clothes
couldnt you have AT LEAST taken my clothes off before that shit?
eat my dick
>>7303666
terrible
silvally jumped in the tub and broke it
fucking terrible

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>>7303658
Of course! I'm out training right now.

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>>7303702
well your asking famalam
hope you don't like having a dick too much ;^)

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>>7303733
NOT FUNNY
I WOULD LIKE MY DICK BACK OR I WILL COME OVER THERE AND PERSONALLY WRECK YOUR TEMPLE

Policefag reporting in
>>7303702
Thats why I take showers, so over-curious Pokemon don't have a tub to break. Learned that one the hard way.

Also, I'll take any questions you nerds have before the big speechification that UNBC will be carrying.

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>>7303751
Please do so, the pained screams woke me up. Or maybe it was the sound of a bathtub full of water shattering.

At least it isn't the world threaten to shatter again today.

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>>7303756
What's the speech?

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>>7303702
Not to be the bearer of bad news but....
How do you plan on drying the lingerie?

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>>7303733
Hey there, boss.
Can you please give >>7303751 his dick back eventually?
Like, preferably some time this week?
I'm leaving some home cooking at the altar. The big one.
Thanks, it would mean a lot.

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>>7303766
it didnt hurt its just
fucking weird
the sharp porcelain kind of fucking hurt though
>>7303785
i have bigger problems right now
like
destroying a temple to prove my point

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>>7303809
you mean the temple you'll never reach?
nice try famalam, take your dick back
next time think before making requests ;^)

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>>7303824
thanks
now fuck off i got a prince to teach how to play videogames

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>>7303733
HAH
the god of time ate a dick
what a faggot

>>7303780
It's half "we shall rebuild" after Nimbasa, and half "never again" for what started this shit in the first place. The policy wonks are arguing - well, the ones that didn't run like Rattatas being chased by an Arcanine - but everyone's mostly on the same page.

I'm personally trying to clear charges against certain helpful civilian assets, maybe commute a portion of their sentences. Mostly because they saved our asses. Half of that's up to Kalos, though, they've got the heaviest charges still on the books.

Finally, I hope to personally meet with someone who lost a good friend once the big speech is over. I'm bringing flowers.

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>>7303847
Oh! That sounds good. Uh, sorry I don't have any other questions, I hope everything goes okay.
People here in Hoenn keep wanting to put the chips out and there's a factory by where I live that's been making them.
I wanna help but I don't know how...

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>>7303838
You don't really have much of a leg to stand on, not after your own hydreigon ate it along your dick.

>>7303847
Bring her also some high grade steel i-beams.

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>>7303838
HAH GHETSIS IS SO OLD THAT HE CANT TELL GODS APART
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO ALREADY BE ON YOUR DEATHBED, DUSTBAG?

>>7303894
Dustoxbro you really need to watch your back or you're gonna end up dead.

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>>7303833
Cool, cool, bro.

>>7303838
You can, like, eat my ass. The whole ass.

>>7303847
Dang. Just let me know if there's, like, anything me and my friends can do, okay?

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>An Aggron is sitting next to a boulder, in a field near Nimbasa.
>It is raining, but she doesn't notice. Or perhaps she doesn't care.
>She quietly sits there, crying, water running down her body
>She feels empty.
>She feels lost.
>And she is alone.

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>>7303906
At least I don't have a huge faggot for a brother,
Or sister, who the fuck knows with that thing.
how does it feel to know your have a degenerate for a relative

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>>7303838
Fuck you idiot! Go fall down some stairs you fucking idiot, break your fucking spine!
I hope someone puts you out of our fucking misery! Because no one likes you!!
>>7303928
I'll be careful!
>>7303906
Woah, hello Dialga! Is that really you? I'm a huge fan I read all the books about you and you're so cool I love all the miracles and time stuff you can do its so cool!!

Policefag (that's still "sir" to anyone else on the force reading this) reporting.
>>7303894
I'm troubled to hear this, but this will be addressed. We're not just saying "never again" here, but anywhere. And I've got a hell of a soapbox to comprehensively address this from right now.

I can't give the details over open channels for reasons which should be self-evident, but I might be able to swing the resources if you need protection or extraction. Call Castelia Central, you'll be patched through to my new office fast.
>>7303904
Affirmative. Thanks for the heads-up, partner.

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>>7303975
AT LEAST HE HAS OPTIONS.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE SO HIDEOUS THAT NOT EVEN A HOOKER WOULD WANT YOUR MONEY?
>>7303997
IT IS.
GOOD DAY, YOUNG ONE

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>>7304016
That's good. I think I'll be okay, but if I can help with anything you can ask!
People usually underestimate me.
>>7304067
Good day Dialga! How are you?? Do you have a favorite berry? Do you like human food?

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>>7303975
If you have a death wish make it loud and clear so they hear you and grant it quickly, but not necessarily painlessly.

>>7304106
Hey do you know how to get to Mossdeep City?

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>>7304067
I don't need a hooker or anyone for that matter.
I have more important things to do than worry about, like how much I should sell these pokemon Egg omelettes for

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>>7304148
Yeah that's pretty far though, do you need something?
>>7304225
Why don't you go jump off a cliff, you cycloptic bastard?

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>>7303938
>She holds a few scraps of paper in her hand
>They used to be a photo of her and her trainer, standing together, happily.
>But now, it has fallen apart, from her clutching it.
>It was the only photo she had of him.
>She tilts her hand, and lets the scraps fall to the ground, before burying her head in her arms, and sobbing.
>Sobbing for a time she can't return to.
>Sobbing for a smile she will never see again.

>>7304269
Head to the space center and ask the front desk for Dr. Morris. When he comes out tell him, "The sky is clear in Fiore." He'll know what to do from there.

>>7303938
> A lone man in a battered police jacket walks through the field.
> His hat is left somewhere in the mud, and his head is bowed. Every step drives a knife deeper into his heart.
> He has a steel rod for a walking stick in one hand, and flowers in the other.
> He's slipped by the camera crews and the rest of his peers, the only witnesses others looking for closure in the scarred fields.
> He nods, and kneels by the boulder, setting the flowers down and offering the rod as he looks up.

Doctor here reminding you fucking morons that the recent trend of mixing bug or grass-type spores together with pain medication is, just like it is with poison-type touch or psychic-type non-professional mental imaging, stupid as fucking shit.

I've had -three- kids die in my hospital from this shit. For the love of Arceus and all that is holy, knock it the fuck off, I'm begging you.

If you really must do anything, at least do stupid shit with psychic or ghost-types if you want to fuck your head over. At least my Xatu and I can help with that a bit unless you REALLY fuck it up, but good GOD.

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>>7304345
Ok! I can do that! I hope it helps! I'll be there soon!

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>>7304314
>>7304368
>The Aggron slowly looks up at the man.
>She stares at him, her eyes empty and lifeless, before weakly reaching out, and taking the rod.
>She sets it down next to herself, and buries her head back into her arms.

>>7304486
man shes really broken up about this one
im glad shes really steeling herself
shes really rocking through this

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>>7304225
AT LEAST MAY WAITED FOR THEM TO HATCH
BUT THAT MAKES SENSE FOR YOU - TOO LAME AND IMPAIRED TO CATCH ANYTHING CAPABLE OF RUNNING AWAY
>>7304106
WIKI, ORAN, AND PETAYA
SOME HUMAN FOOD IS NICE, AND I AM WELL

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>>7304455
Seconding this. I used to be a huge fucking fumehead, and I had a friend who, like, straight-up ended herself with a Vileplume dust and Releve cocktail.
That shocked me straight-ish, got me off the magic spores.

>>7304486
> The man kneels and weeps.
> He silently asks himself why this of all things is what's broken through his shell, but he already knows.
> He can muster only a few words through uneasy breaths.
> "Never again."

>>7304582
Oh nice! If I ever come by Sinnoh I'll bring you some!

I'm coming up on Mossdeep! I'll give you guys an update after!

(Minor update to the pastebin, recap now explains wtf happened in Unova and is hopefully a little easier to read: http://pastebin.com/u8KFcXMW )

>>7304455
Heya, doc. I'm from, er, let's go with an undisclosed location in southeast Kanto.
Are there any particular, er, conditions or illnesses which are generally the result of Pokephilia? If so, is there any way to get a discreet diagnosis as to whether someone's carrying that sort of thing?
I'm asking for a friend, and this friend doesn't swing or sleep around so that at least should help.

>>7304798
>Fuschiafag

>>7304677
>She looks up at him again, and shakily gets up
>She sits down next to him, crying.
>She weakly manages to say a few words.
"I just want to see his smile again."
...
"I don't want to be alone."
"I want to be with him."
...
>She shakes, and breaks down again, curling up into a ball, metallic sobs filling the area
-Aggron

>>7304826
You can always take yourself to a steel factory

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>>7304455
Tell that to the Celadon Gym in Kanto. I still don't understand why huffing Vileplume dust is fucking LEGAL there. I burnt my nose on the shit just walking in, let alone staying the half hour it took to get through the fucking trees and get the badge.

>>7304684
Hey buddy, uh, stay safe, okay?

>>7304798
Dude relax, if assholes want to drive you out for loving someone regardless of their form, then fuck them.

As for diseases... sorry mate, can't help with that.

108
shadows creeping upon your souls

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>>7304859
Celadon is not a very good neighborhood. bad place to raise kids if ya ask me!

>>7304798

The most commonly transferred things from Pokemon tend to be skin conditions, though the kind that certain Pokemon with unique skin surfaces(scales, rock, metal) can develop aren't things you have to worry about. HOWEVER, one thing people don't realize is that Ditto is a fucking exceptional vector for disease due to its genetic makeup and fluid cell structure. People who fuck their Dittos, even transformed, can risk a wide breadth of diseases. Beyond that, there's only a handful of illnesses you can catch, like Bubble Fever - you've surely seen a water-type sick with it at some point, their saliva gets all thick and their exhalations often create thick, nasty bubbles like a sloppy flu.

If you want a discreet diagnosis though, you're going to have to go to the Orange Islands or some shadier Unova clinics due to laws regarding sex with Pokemon.

>>7304909
Dude you tried to get laid with those stoners don't even fucking talk.

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>>7304943
>due to laws regarding sex with pokemon
DID THEY FUCKING BRING BACK THE POKEPHILLIA LAWS WHILE I WAS SLEEPING!?

>>7304993

The laws are such a grey area that I think he means you're taking a risk.

>>7304993
Relax man, your not a human anymore.
You can just keep on going, porking your bitch.

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>>7304859
Yeah I'm okay! I told the guy he seemed happy. I think it was for a space ship launch cause they're launching one now.