ITT: Pokemon are real. What's your favorite pokemon?

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Goast tree

My Haunter has been my bro for several years now, so I want to do something nice for him. I'm thinking of getting him a nice female 'Mon that he can have his way with, but I don't know what kind to get him (he doesn't seem to care for his own species). Any suggestions?

>>6856787
You ever see him taking interest in other pokemon's scents? Usually that's a pretty good way to tell what he'd be into. Take him for some battles or just take him around other trainers.
If you don't want to do that I'd just say go for a fellow ghost pokemon Gourgeist, Mismagius, Banette.

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All sheep are friends!

>>6856915
>battles
That's probably why I don't know what he wants, where I live the only kinds of battles we get are fucking little kids with their goddamn bugs (don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Bug-type trainers, but these little punks don't know how to control their Pokémon and more than once I've found my garden ruined by a Weedle brought into town by one of these kids) and the occasional traveller. I honestly haven't had a proper battle in a long time.

I like the sound of a Mismagius, my Haunter is on the mischievous side so I could see him getting on pretty nicely with one. Are they particularly hard to train?

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How do I get the Hand Bird to stop bullying my innocent Honchkrow who definitely did not steal his items, sucker punch it, and or attempt to gang bang it?

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>>6857079
>Weedle
>Haunter
You a Kantofag anon? If you are pretty close to Johto you could probably just trek your way over there and catch one yourself. And ordering a dusk stone isn't super expensive.
If you aren't you can usually just post on a trading forum and get someone to send you one. Just don't take any trades from people here though.

>>6856991
good taste

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I want to be tongue bathed by a lickitung.

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I think right now it's a tie between Ampharos and Zorua

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>>6857670
are you me?

>>6857179
>Just don't take any trades from people here though.
Why not? I'm honestly curious, I figured stuff like evo stones would be fine.

>>6857884
A lot of people trade Porygon Z and you'll end up with a virus. Also the International Police lurk here so don't post about your evil plans here.

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>>6857838
Maybe

>>6857884
People on this site are known to... misrepresent what pokémon they're giving you, and then fucking disappear. If you do take a trade, I'd give your pokémon some kind of tracking device beforehand so you can find the asshole and turn him into the police. Misrepresentation of trade pokémon is criminal, on the order of a combination of theft and animal cruelty.

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>>6857515

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>>6855860
What do our favorite Pokemon have to do with them being real?

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Can I fuck a legendary?

>>6857669
Superb fucking taste anon

>>6858687
Thanks anon!

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>>6858697
My pleasure, litwick lampent and chandelure are my favorite evolution line, but litwick would have to take the cake

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>>6858771
Litwick is great dude. Personally I just like Lampent and Chandelure's designs just a bit more.

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>>6857669
My nigga

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Yo, my Sceptile is my best bro.

We practically grew up together.

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Anyone else bully their pokemon?
This is my lucario, Tina. I raised her from an egg.
Recently she put on a lot of weight, so I started calling her tubby. This made her stress-eat.
Now before I feed her, I say 'Come get your dinner, you fat lard.'
It's so fun, she gets to watch all the other pokemon breed while I remind her that I wouldn't punish any of my male pokemon by making them smash her fat rolls.
Sometimes I call her hambone to make her cry.

>>6859060
>hambone

Now that's just taking it too far!
You can tease her, but the second you call her a hambone, you cross a line!

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>>6859124
Get fucking triggered m8, I'll do what I want with her.

>>6857079
>garden
Please jump into a pit of Arbok.

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>>6859177
Is... is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?

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>>6859148
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fJK33K3Ka8

>>6859060
Rood

Quilava. My favorite's quilava.

So, here's a weird question:

What's the deal with trainers running away from team rocket members that have stolen their pokémon? I don't get it. A pair of those idiots grabbed my pokéballs about a week and a half into my journey, in the woods around Goldenrod, and I chased them down and... took them back, in so many words.

I mean, yeah, you get the occasional story where some vet gets his ass up over his head because a rocket or two got one over on him, and he chased them down, but there's so many headstrong new trainers that get mugged and so few that actually use that headstrong nature to fight back.

>>6860391
Who's team rocket?

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>>6855860
Unironically my favorites are scolipede and leavanny.

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I wanna eat junk food and play video games with my Lopunny all day

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>>6855860
Sableye.

Speaking of which, I think mine's sick with something. She's been acting real strange past three weeks. She was my Pokemon for the better part of eleven years or so, and I never seen her act this way.

But she's developed a high fever every time I see her, her face gets really hot to the touch. I think she's woozy too, often leans on me and seems slow to respond sometimes while taking short breaths. And I don't know why, but she has a big, dumb grin too. I think it might just be her trying to make me feel better, but I don't know, maybe it's part of what's making her sick.

She seems to like being with me more now that she's sick. I probably make her feel more comfortable being with her since I was a kid. Wants to sleep with me in my bed too. I don't mind, anything to help her, but she often went to her own spot to sleep instead. Must be keeping her up at night. Poor girl.

But I went to the Pokemon Center to try and see what's wrong, but they said they found no disease or illness they know about. Do any of you happen to know what's afflicting her? I don't want her to be in pain or anything.

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>>6861268
Ever since i caught them as a swaddle and a venipede they were inseparable. they would never separate themselves from one another, i found that cute because i assumed it was a brother and sister relation.
as they evolved into swadloon and whirlpede swadloon would kiss whirlpede, he would blush while swadloon would giggle while also blushing was there that i knew that they were becoming more than just friends, around six months ago they evolved into leavanny and scolipede they still showed their love that they had since they were little, i decided to make them a little wedding for them, i brought all my pokemon to see the wedding, my leavanny sew herself a wedding dress made of leaves, i ordered a tuxedo for a scolipede it was expensive but i wanted to see them happy, after their kiss we enjoyed a little party we threw together and had fun.
Two weeks later when we were traveling around the region after i woke up in the camp we set the during the night scolipede and leavanny were missing, but i found and followed their footsteps and near a small forest i found them cuddling together while leavanny holds an egg very carefully, i guess i'll be granpa now i thought as tears flow down my eyes.
To this day we're a happy family but sometimes you think they need to be a little less frisky as i accidentally walked on them having sex once, their little baby is growing healthy with my and the others help

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>>6861540
Have you changed her diet recently? Maybe she needs different gems.

Or maybe she's trying to show more affection, I dunno.

This girl has been my friend since I first started out, I picked her up when she was just a Honedge and, rather than sucking me dry, she actually let me use her like a sword to fight off a flock of Fletchings, and the rest is history.

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Shaymin is the true homie.

>>6861681
She seems pretty fine with eating any type of gem or minerals. I don't really know, but I think the nurses would've fogured that out.

But affection? I hope that's it, that'd be a huge relief off of my mind.

Why's she getting so clingy now though? And now that you mentioned that, I noticed she liked... nuzzling me while in bed. I thought it was just her trying to get more comfortable. But she was also rubbing herself against me, I don't know if that's a Sableye thing or not.

>>6861877
I think it's a bit more than just regular affection. Find someone with a psychic type; the ghost/dark typing doesn't stop them from talking to each other, and the psychic type can report to their trainer, who then tells you what was said. Someone with a kirlia or gardevoir could do it in real-time.

I heard that there was a boy who could talk to pokemon in unova, two years ago he was part of a team who was planning to liberate all pokemon but he discovered that he was used their leader.
Do you think that boy is able to teach how to be able to talk with pokemon?

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>>6861933
Aight man, thanks for the heads up.

I'll come back later and try to tell what I learn. Hopefully it's nothing too bad or something and she can go back to being right as rain.

>>6862205
I think that your sableye is in love with you, try to be more frisky the next time you sleep with her in your bed, if she isn't she will show that, but if she is really in love with you things might get a little spicier after the moment of friskyness.
but by the time you answer it you might already know the answer

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MY POKEMON HAS NO WEAKNESSES!

>>6863076
Your Pokemon is a meme.

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>>6859256
>he doesn't bully his pokemon
>he doesn't throw oatmeal at Tina

>>6863469
LIT

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>>6863469
What am I supposed to do, install a dimmer switch?

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>Reminded Tina how fat she was today
>Called her a fat cow and butterball
>She starts crying and stress-eating
"Oh yeah, keep eating, maybe you'll lose weight that way."
>My salazzle shows up to confront me on this
>Call her a stinky whore and tell her to close her spider legs
>Make salazzle cry too
Damn it feels good to be a gangster

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>>6863678
>Damn it feels good to be a gangster
>Team Skull
oh now it makes sense you're just some high school dropout white kid

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>>6863678
>tell her to close her spider legs
Dude how do you stop sniffing her thighs? I can post for like a minute but I have to get right back to it.

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This dopey-looking motherfucker right here.

When I was a kid, I found her chilling the berry bushes in my backyard when we first moved in. We though she belonged to the previous owners, but when we asked, they said they had no clue where she came from, and (after much begging on my part) we took her in.

One time during my rebellious teen phase, she accidentally knocked over my dad's liquor cabinet, breaking most of the bottles inside and spilling booze everywhere, even on herself, which I took the heat for. She must have developed a taste for booze then, since about a month later, I caught her storing what smelled and tasted sorta like prison wine or shitty sangria in her shell instead of her usual berry juice.

>>6864013
Pheromones only work if you remotely like her. I don't like salazzle, so the pheromones just make her smell like sweat to me.
It's really fun to bully salazzle because she's so sensitive about how she smells now.

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>>6863942
stfu gaylord
>me and my m8s, we're gonna fuck you up

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>>6864292
My Cradilly could wipe the floor with you guys. I could wipe you guys with a little level 5 Lilleep.

Anyone want some Lileeps? We've been restoring a bunch of fossils over here in Hoenn.

>>6859177
>not growing your own berries
I bet you live in a city.

>>6864307
>We've been restoring a bunch of fossils over here in Hoenn.
You an archaeologist anon?

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>>6864371
I go through the desert and dig up fossils and breed the restored pokemon so we can keep them in captivity until we figure where we can release them into the environment, Don't want them killing everything else in Hoenn or something.

I'm just a glorified intern anon.

>>6864307
fight me irl, hoennfag

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>>6864484
Too bad your shithole Alola doesn't have any fossils or we could.

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>>6864492
Fucker I'm in Johto, moved from Alola a year ago
Goldenrod city
I'll fuck you up

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>>6864519
I've always wanted to check out the Ruins of Alph so maybe I'll swing on by.

>>6864537
There's nothing there but unowns
Maybe while you're down here you can watch Tina eat a whole brick of cheese while bawling her eyes out

>>6864618
>There's nothing there but unowns
Seriously? What kind of ruins don't have some kind of secret. You gotta be holding out on me.
>Maybe while you're down here you can watch Tina eat a whole brick of cheese while bawling her eyes out
I'd rather not.

>>6864644
I'm no archeologist, it's mainly just dark and creepy and my radio doesn't work down there.

How many Pokémon do you guys own? I only have my one, I really don't think I'd have the energy for more than two or three.

>>6864680
I've only got Tina and my salazzle
I can't handle much more than them

>>6864667
>it's mainly just dark and creepy and my radio doesn't work down there.
Really? I'm really gonna have to check that place out after work. There's gotta be something secret and cool down there.
>>6864680
Cradily and an Anorith. I mean I've raised like 30 Lileeps but I'm usually leaving them with the researchers.

>>6864680
I have a sapient lamp and a mafia bird. One came with the house and wouldn't leave, the other is running a speakeasy out of my cabinet and pays me 3% to hide it from the cops with cans of soup and cornmeal.

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Fuck.

Just... fuck, man.

One of you told me about going to a psychic Pokemon to read her thoughts? Well, there's one in Castelia City.

So I scheduled an appointment and came in, there was a lady and an Espeon, said she was Emma and the Espeon was Lucy. She told me that Lucy would read Obsidian's mind, then tell that to the trainer and "translate" that, then tell me, like that other guy said.

So we're all set up, the Espeon's eyes starts to glow a bright blue and sits there for a few minutes looking at Obsidian. At the end of it, the Espeon looked... bothered. I can't quite describe it, but I think I know why.

Anyway, the Espeon turns to Emma and starts telepathically communicating with her. After only a minute, her ears start turning pink. Another minute and they're completely red, and her face was turning the same shade too. She asks if we could be alone. Obsidian looked worried, but I told her to wait in the lobby.

Right, so... >>6862911 is right. She's in love with me. As in completely smitten. Emma asked where I got her and how long I've had her, I said my Dad got me her from a daycare in Hoenn and I had her for about 11 years. Asked my age. I said 22.

She said that she had seen other Pokemon have small crushes, puppy love, or human levels of affection with their trainers, but mine near trumps them all. She explains that what she "read" from Lucy was that Obsidian sees me not as a potential mate, but the ONLY mate for her. Says it might be because she wasn't wild-born or that I had other Pokemon for her to interact with.

She suggests the direct route would be loving her back, and that Pokephilia is never condemned. I asked about finding some other mate, she said it wouldn't work. Also said that I may be far too deep into this, and that letting her down would probably crush her.

What the fuck do I do guys? I love Obsidian, but she's family, it feels wrong to consider this sort of thing. Is there any other option? Please, I don't want her to be hurt.

>>6864726
You can't not hurt her feelings.
Either pursue your relationship which is a bad idea because it isn't healthy for you. Or you curve that bitch in the gentlest way possible and still break her heart

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ever since my uncle gave me an egg and a beheeyem hatched from when i was a kid 10 years ago i named her ellie, she has always been my closest friend.
since she was a psychic type she would always speak with me in my mind, but around 2 months ago ellie begun dress herself in these provocative clotes and keep showering my mind with with sexual images of her, i'm not sure what to do anymore should i just go for it or try ask her to stop?

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>tfw your starter pokemon has a crush on your rival, Chad
Just fuck my whole pokemon journey up!

>>6864726
like emma said pokephilia is not condemned, and sometimes a relationship with someone you trust and care deeply is the most important choice of your life maybe you should give it a shot

>>6864726
If you really can't love her back as a mate, there's no way you can resolve this without her getting hurt. Your best bet for minimizing damage is to just sit her down and explain that the love you feel for her isn't the same kind as she has for you. She'll be heartbroken, but it's the only way you can get things straightened out with her, and the pain won't last forever (if you use her for battling it'll be a few weeks before she'll listen to your commands again).

But think long and hard about your relationship with Obsidian before you say anything, because having a Pokémon as a romantic partner can be exceptionally rewarding, and you don't want to put her through all that pain only to realize that you have a romantic love for her.

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Ya know, pokemon might not be able to speak effectively, but a pokemon can learn to read and type on a keyboard/touchscreen pretty easily.
What are the odds there's a pokemon shitposting here?

>>6864871
Come on you've gotta be kidding me, pal! Zrrt!

>>6864871
Well, not to be speciesist but I'm pretty sure if there are Pokémon on here they're not Electric types.

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>>6864871
that's ludicrous pokemon wouldn't be able to do that.
and reminder that mareanies and toxapex are dangerous monster and should exterminated on sight

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>tfw really big pokemon or burning pokemon like steelix and slugma can't post
>ywn know what feels a slugma feels
What kind of feels would a pokemon feel?

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Does anyone else like to buy little outfits for their Pokémon?

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>>6864828

I don't know man. It's like wanting to bang your cousin or something. I know, haha, Unova and their incestious rednecks, but fuck man. She's been with me since I was a kid, I don't know if I can do either of these things. And I know if I let it go on without saying yes or no, it'll be just as bad as saying no, if not potentially worse.

>>6864833
I don't battle often with her. Not much opportunities living right near the city outside of young kids and whatever they found a few feet outside their house.

But about that mate thing, Sableye apparently choose a potential mate for life. The cave Pokemon biology book says it's because of potential collapses, disconnects from other groups, and many other variables, so they pick a potential mate and stick together for life. Even when one of them dies, they don't pick another mate. It went on about other stuff and "depression" from a lack of a mate, but that's all I wanted to read.


>>6864764

I got curious and looked into... eugh, smaller Pokemon to human relationships. Some things apparently CAN work, others obviously not, even with Sableye's being just under two feet. Obviously jamming it right in will be VERY harmful, but that isn't the only way things work. I don't care too much about Pokephilia either, but I had to stop after a bit more reading. Just thinking about doing some of these things didn't sit right with me.

I really don't know. I'm gonna go to bed, try and think of something to tell her. I'll come back once I've figured out something.

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My Luxray keeps climbing on me at seemingly random times.

I'd be more okay with it if the fucker wasn't so heavy- the Pokedex outright lied about his weight. I'd be lucky if he was 400 pounds, let alone 70. Trying to remain standing is a back breaking effort that more often than not ends in a rather painful trip to the floor.

What's worse is that he always gets all kitschy afterwards- cleaning my hair and snuggling and shit like that. As if he's totally aware he's being a shithead and is trying to negate it.

The hell am I to do? I've given every form of verbal disapproval I could, and yet he keeps going. I heard once they have a spot under their tail that can be used to sway them to your will but I'd like to avoid contact based things until absolutely necessary- I'd still like to maintain his friendship afterwards, after all.

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>>6865030
lest year i bought ellie a maid outifit while i wore a butler outfit in a halloween party, one of my friend said that we looked like a cute couple, i guess that's what got into her since then she became more clingy for me and snuggly and since two months ago started to try to seduce me, and the worst that she can read my mind she knows what makes me have an erection, but i'm still unsure if i should actually have sex with her or not

>>6865391
>Sableye apparently choose a potential mate for life. The cave Pokemon biology book says it's because of potential collapses, disconnects from other groups, and many other variables, so they pick a potential mate and stick together for life. Even when one of them dies, they don't pick another mate
Yeah, but that's wild Sableye. A lot of shit changes when Pokémon are born in captivity, including mating habits. I don't believe the no-mate depression will affect your Sableye, or at least won't be as detrimental as it would be if it was a wild Sableye.

>>6865030
Well, I did get my Haunter a pair of sunglasses (which were fucking expensive considering they weren't even battle functional), so I don't know if that counts or not.

>>6864680
Just my Haunter, though I may be adding a Mismagius soon. I raised my Haunter from a Gastly, though, so I'm concerned that the Mismagius won't be nearly as well-trained as my Haunter is.

its hip to fuck bugs

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>>6866021
I wouldn't say sunglasses are an 'outfit', but dressing up a Ghost-Type doesn't sound easy anyway. Does your Haunter wear them often?

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>>6866211
i agree with your fine taste

>>6866342
...no. I mean, occasionally during the summer we'll go out and he'll wear his sunglasses, but on the whole he doesn't wear them that often, so it was money well spent and proof that I'm a dumbass. Still, he usually gets at least one or two compliments when we do go out, so silver linings I suppose. I remember a trainer from Hoenn doing the Kanto badge circuit took a picture of my Haunter while wearing shades, so that was pretty cool.

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>>6866021
>>6866562
You made me think of this picture.

Anyway Cradily guy back today how is everyone?

>>6866879
Not bad, how goes the fossil restoration?

I've got to admit, I'm a sucker for fossils and prehistoric relics, I actually work at the Pewter museum (as a night-shift janitor, but still). I just don't really have the brains to be a proper researcher, you know?

Y-you guys?
So my pokemon have been acting weird recently. Lucario and salazzle have been more distant than usual, they aren't reacting to my bullying as much as they used to.

>>6867342
>treat your pokemon like shit every day
>eventually they start growing distant and ignoring you
HMMMMMMMMMMMMM

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>>6867249
Pretty good. I just got off my official hours but I'm gonna go see if there's any undiscovered ancient fossils at the Ruins of Alph.

Hey if you ever wanna tag along I could probably pull some strings and get you an internship at the Kanto fossil restoration place? You'd probably need to get a house at Cinnabar or be ready for one hell of a commute.
>>6867342
They're gonna eat you in your sleep anon.

>>6867475
I'd be worried about lucario eating me, but her fat ass would get hungry again in an hour

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>>6865391

I... Oh lord, I... I think I fucked up.

I- I went to bed and started falling asleep. I noticed that Obsidian didn't follow. I thought she wasn't sleepy.

I had a dream. I don't even remember what it was, but I started feeling really good down... well, there. Until I felt something sharp poke my groin. I woke up and felt something lying on my legs under the covers. I flipped it off, and there she was. She had her body on top of my bare crotch, one of her claws near my thigh where my boxers were pulled down to. She looked startled.

"Obsidian, what are you doi-" I try to ask, but she moved up closer to my stomach, rubbing her lithe body against my member. She looked like she was about to try and explain (how I'd understand, I wouldn't. I often guess at what she's trying to talk about), but stopped herself when she noticed how I flinched when she moved against me. Her bare skin touching my dick made me gasp, stopping me from continuing. She looks up at me, frozen in place. Waiting for my response.

I kept thinking about what I said earlier. I knew how wrong it felt. I don't know why I didn't say no. I just looked at her, and she started moving back towards my legs while pinning my dick between her body and my crotch. My reaction was enough confirmation for her.

She kept this up for another minute, the warmth of her flesh and the cool, smooth texture of the gem on her chest kneading my penis, as well as the beating of her tiny heart as she wrapped herself around my dick, was an experience I can only describe as pleasurable. She wrapped her tiny arms around it, lightly tracing her claws around the underside of the skin. As she moved up, I could feel something much warmer near her legs occasionally rub against the skin.

It was after those few minutes that she finally stopped. She sat up, her arms still keeping my member against her body. She opened her mouth filled with rock-crushing teeth and stuck her tongue out.

>>6867475
What's cradily feel like on your dick anon?

>>6867561
You're a really rude asshole.
>>6867665
Unlike some of the people I work with I haven't started fucking my pokemon. I'm not going to stick my dick in him. I've surprised him before and he's spat acid so I can't imagine I'd survive long.

Anyway I'm checking out the ruins of alph now and I can say they're not as exciting as I thought. Unown are fucking weird too.

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>>6867748
Cry me a river, babby

>>6867475
Much as I am tempted to take you up on your offer, I'm still paying off my current house and I don't think I'd be able to do such a long commute every day. Still, if you're ever near Pewter you should stop by my place, I can introduce you to the guys at the museum and I'll make a nice dinner for you (ever had spicy apricorn soup? It's fucking delicious, even if roasting the apricorns takes forever).

>>6867606

Ahhh, I've heard of this, she marked you! I think Pokemon do it if they don't get a clear sign from their intended mate one way or another (if I'm remembering correctly, I saw it in a documentary a long time ago so I might be wrong). Man, you're in the shit now, you keep putting off talking to her and you'll end up completely eviscerating her heart.

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>tfw Lucario is trying her best to ignore my insults
>tfw I'm ramping up on my bullying
Watching her try not to cry is the greatest shit in the world

>>6867891
Man you aren't even worth MY time.
>>6867906
Yeah I'll stop by sometime. We can go fossil hunting or something. Fossils make pretty big bucks so it'd definitely help pay off your house man.
But yeah thanks for the offer anon!

Are unown supposed to follow you? I mean they haven't spelled my name out or spelled out death so I'm probably not doomed but an A and D keep following me and my Cradily around.

>>6867999
Come say that to my face, faggot.
I'll whoop your ass.

>>6867969
I want to remind you that abusing your Pokemon is illegal, but honestly I don't remember if that extends to verbal abuse (I know it does for humans but I'm fuzzy on Pokemon laws).

>>6867999
>We can go fossil hunting or something. Fossils make pretty big bucks so it'd definitely help pay off your house man.

Shit dude, that'd be awesome! I honestly figured all the fossil hunting areas were picked clean of anything significant (I know Mt. Moon is close by but I've always heard that there weren't any major fossils there, just a bunch of like fern fossils and such).

>>6867969
>Talking to lucario today
>Seems like her day is going a little too well for my liking
>She stops when I sit down next to her by the campfire
"Hey, you've got something on your chin."
>She checks
"No... The third one down."
>She frowns at me and turns away
>I try to reassure her
"It's okay, y'know you're the reason I work out. You look really cute, like a before picture on a weight loss ad."
>She storms off while my sides fly into orbit

>>6868127
Protip: It doesn't, not in Johto.
Only in Kanto can you get in trouble for hurting your pokemon's delicate feefees

>>6868018
Look if I don't get eaten/cursed by unown I'll be happy to wipe the floor with you.
Yeah my pokenav barely works in this place I'm gonna bolt before I die.
>>6868127
The deeper parts of Mt. Moon have fossils as far as I'm aware. A lot of it is only for actual archaeologists as far as I understand because kids kept stealing and breaking fossils.

>>6868153
What's funny is that I'm expanding her understanding of english by insulting her in more eloquent ways.
I hope to get to the point where I can write her an insulting sonnet, right now I'm able to recite short poems to call her fat.

>>6868186
It gets pretty dark down there, bring a few lights and remember where you are because you can get lost.

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>>6864810
>he trades you
>trade rapes your boyhole

>>6868211
Roses are red, bananas are yellow,
Every time you take a step, you jiggle like jello

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>>6868230
Yeah I'm more accustomed to spleunking in the desert. I might go scope it out before I bring anon with me and accidentally get us both killed.

>>6868328
She's so fat, her blood type is chocolate.

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>>6867906
Fuck man, that sounds right. I could feel something wet where she was rubbing her... Oh god, you know what. But worst yet, she wasn't done either.


She stuck her tongue out past her teeth and started licking down the tip of my penis. Her tongue was slick and hot, as I felt as swabbed the skin down with saliva. She looked uncomfortable sticking her tongue out for so long, but I think she was doing it to not scare me by using her mouth. Each lick just felt... Oh lord, it just felt good. She made sure to cover as much of the skin as she could with her tongue, leaving cool, wet flesh chilled from the exposed air.

She released my member once she was done and it slapped against my skin. She then crawled closer towards my chest, moving herself over my member and stopping with her head below my chest and waist near my groin. She flipped onto her back and opened her legs. Then tried to look back to me.

I was reluctant, I told her it wouldn't work. She made a sort of whine, still looking at me.

I must have been lost in the moment, because I agreed. I wished I stopped. I gently grasped her body and pressed the tip of my penis against her tiny slit. She made a grunt and I stopped, deeply afraid of harming her. She looked back up and made another whine. She wanted me to continue. I told her to reconsider. She continue to beg. I tried again. Much more slowly.

The flesh lightly poked against her entrance, the heat quickly warming the skin upon contact. Ever so slowly, I inserted the top of the head inside. Thankfully, that much was OK, it wasn't until near halfway that she started to grunt again. I didn't retract, but I stopped. As all the other times, she wanted me to continue. This continued on for a few more minutes until finally the head was fully enveloped by her vagina. I didn't realize that until she called out loudly, and I saw that at least the head and an inch of skin past that entered. Then she started pushing against my legs with her feet upward.

>>6868479
as a qualified pokemon behavior researcher i need to know more before i can give you a diagnosis

Is Shuppett hard to raise?

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>>6868479
She started moving up, the small inch of flesh past the head leaving the vagina, stopping with the head still inside. She began panting, then began to move back down, never moving past the spot I stopped at. I could see her give a faint grin as she continues before stopping to take a breath.

The flesh was wrapped tightly around my dick, the warmth surrounding what flesh could enter her without causing pain. The bulge was clearly visible as it slowly moved up and down. I was close to release already from her rubbing and licking, but this took me to my limit. Another ringing thought in my mind told me to stop now, but it was buried swiftly under other thoughts that simply rang: It's too late. I came, and Obsidian seemed to realize this too, smiling as I shot into her.

She continued for another minute before I felt a rush of fluids from her on the tip of my penis. She cried out in ecstasy and stopped moving herself up and down my member. She laid her head back, looking to the side with a sly grin. Five minutes passed, she removed herself from my member. She scooched upwards towards my chest, rubbing the top of her head against my chin. Her eyelids began to droop, and she fell asleep.

I'm texting this all on my phone, and I don't know what to do. I should've said no, I should've done something but... Fuck, man! What the fuck is wrong with me?

I mean, at least she's happy. She's still asleep on top of me, and I can see her smile as she dozes away. But I don't know if I should feel OK about this or disgusted that I fucked someone I knew as family for nearly half my life.

>>6868584
What else do you need to know? I fucked up, almost literally, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.

>>6868843
Not that I know of

>>6868981
I caught one today and it's been sticking it's tongue out a lot at me.
I have like 4 badges are ghost types just naturally like this?

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>>6868843
The thing about Ghost-types is that you can't completely train them. Ever. Even Agatha has said multiple times that training a Ghost-type is less about dominating their will as it is synchronizing your will and theirs, and that expecting them to fully give control to you is ridiculous. Even if you're not going to be battling with them, raising a Ghost-type Pokemon is more about making sure they understand and accept where your boundaries are, and vice-versa, culminating in compromise. When I first started raising my Haunter (then a Gastly), one of my biggest issues was that he kept licking my face. At first I tried to scold him like I would with any other Pokemon, but he completely ignored me and kept doing it. He was only doing it to have some fun and show affection, so eventually I expressed that if he wants to show me love in a playful way it'd be better to spook me when I got home, and that's what he did for a couple years until he evolved, after which we settled on high-fives.

Anyway, sorry for the blog post. I don't know the specifics of raising Shuppet are, but knowing the general mindset you have to be in for raising a Ghost-type is important as well.

>>6868899
Well, now that the threshold has been crossed, take a minute and think about your relationship with your Sableye. Was having sex with her as awful as you thought it would be? Does the idea of being a mate to her still sound unreasonable? If you still don't want to be involved with her romantically, you need to let her know and you need to be as gentle as you can be. Above all else, don't blame her for what happened: even if she started it, she was just acting out of confusion and frustration and blaming her will just compound the issue.

so does anyone here live in alola
im bored and i want to do something

It took me a while, but I'm on the road to recovery with my pokemon.
I finally got lucario and salazzle to sleep near me instead of in their pokeballs.
Fixing what I did to salazzle hasn't been easy, but it's much worse with lucario.
Sowwy :(

>>6869351
Did the International Police come knocking at your door? Serves you right.

>>6865470
Any solutions at all, guys? Every time he does this I become more worried that he's gonna end up breaking something in me.

>>6869422
At this point, contact-based scolding is your only option. Much like he's causing you pain, causing him a little discomfort is not going to end your friendship with him. Just don't overdo it, make sure you only use the tail spot when he's climbing onto you. It's not illegal to discipline your Pokemon, it's only illegal when it becomes genuine abuse (i.e. hurting them for little to no reason).

>>6864782
>>6865493
You seem to be very affectionate with your beheeyem, maybe she fell for you for being a good trainer and she's trying to thank you with all her love.
But be careful despite they being known for being patient, when a beheeyem loses it's patience it will use their psychic abilities to get what they want.
I think your ellie is tired of waiting for you and it's trying to win your heart more aggressively.

>>6869385
No
I'm currently hoboing it in the forest heading north

>>6869422
Then break his tailhole with your dick before he breaks you. Teach him who the man in the realtionship is.
Unless you're a beta faggot who just wants your Luxray to keep pushing you around.

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>>6869126
No. It wasn't horrible. I enjoyed it.

But that's just it. Should I have enjoyed it? I do love her, but I don't know if I should love her in THAT way.

But I agree. I can't blame her, as silly as that sounds. I knew fully well what her intentions were, so did she, and she must've thought I accepted her actions after meeting with Emma and her Pokemon.

I'll... I'll think about it all. She's still asleep. I'll mull it over and try to talk to her after she's awake.

Any of you guys heard of something called a mystery dungeon?

I haven't heard much, just rumors, but it seems alarming that they're apparently popping up all over my home, the Hoenn region.

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>All these pokefuckers
Take a seat.

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No, really take a seat.

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>>6869677
>>6869724

David Tennant get out!

>>6869586
Let us know what you come up with, man. We're rootin' for ya.

>>6869677
>>6869724
Pokephilia isn't illegal, Looker, no matter how many times you try and convince people that it is.

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>>6869672
Funny story about that...

You won't call me crazy will you?

>>6869760
You're not that guy who keeps saying he got turned into a Pokemon, are you?

>>6869672
My rotom, Xyzzy, mentioned something about them on an island without humans. I gave him an old computer, and he's hacked it to have free internet and SMSing, and we've had some rather interesting conversations.

In Hoenn, though? I'm going to have to have a talk with him about that. I think he said something about where they are, but they weren't really near Hoenn from what he was telling me.

>>6869783
I heard about that.

Some dude claiming he's a Pokemon, who was a human, but then turned into a Pokemon?

And he can talk to Pokemon and they got their own little towns and stuff?

Load of Grumpig wash.

>Tfw lose to the Elite 4 at the champion
>Congratulating my team
>Hug my Aegislash
>Blade doesn't cut the shit out of me
>He gets all flustered

I think my Aegislash has a crush on me. What do?

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I swear to Arceus you little shits, WHEN THE FUCK WILL YOU STOP MAKING SUCH A DAMN MESS WITH YOUR POKEMON FIGHTS?!

Who do you think goes through to cleanup those damn battles you do? Me, that's who! All those earthquakes, flamethrowers, acid bombs, and the fucking muddy water, I have to mop up.

Even worse are the trainers with Muks. Do you know what you have to do to get that grime out of a tile? Or worse yet, a carpet?! It's a nightmare!

So please, from one human being to another, will you all stop making such a fucking mess and just have your Pokemon punch each other than spew shit all over the place?!

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>>6869871
It's true I tell you!

I'm still not entitely certain how, but one day I woke up as a Pokémon.
There were also these things called "Time Gears" which were being stolen and causing chaos.
I wound up being sent to the future and then escaping to the present to save the world with the help of my partner, Cynda, and Wigglypuff's guild.

And the terrain was constantly changing!
You'd go down a hallway or a cave, and then the next time you came by the rooms would change!

>>6869783
>>6869871
I mean, I've heard weirder things than, "I got turned into a pokémon - they have little towns on a bunch of islands without humans." I mean, there's little villages in Kalos where there's no humans, and they're run by pokémon.

And, of course, there's the occasional story of pokémon witches, with spellbooks and whatnot. I remember one story of them turning a guy into a pikachu once.

>>6870369
All those stories are fake

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>>6870323
Oh really now?

If the world was in danger, then how come none of us have heard about it? We've heard about the shit that went down in Kalos with Lysandre, how come none of us have heard about this future - present stuff?

electric typezzzz rule

So why DO people fuck their pokemon? I don't really think I'd fuck my Garbodor.

>>6870411
If you say so. For my money, you sound like one of those old fogies in Kanto that believes anything outside the pokémon from their regionn is fake. And I have met one of those types. Claimed that all of my pokémon were actually dittos in disguise.

>>6870493
Gonna venture out on a limb and say, "time travel shenanigans." Theoretically, a well-closed time loop would have no effect on the present, which would be the past from where it was started.

Also, if it's a localized distortion, the effect might not have been noticeable from the point of view of anyone far enough away. Like, you don't know every mugging and break-in in every other region, because it's a localized event. And, considering that there supposedly aren't humans on those islands, who would report it?

>>6870538
If the internet is to be believed, gardevoirs get fucked all the time.

I haven't heard any trainer admit to this, though.

>family is ultra-specialized in breeding and training fire-types
>my Litten is my bro, chosen by me when he was still in an egg
>unsure about evolving but hey it's a cat, let him chill
>anyway my body is totally fucked up like the rest of my family's
>no more fingerprints
>lungs full of shit
>burn scars here and there
>don't have the courage to tell my parents I wanna be a dark-type trainer
>I'm not bad at what I do, I'm just tired about it

What do anon? How do you water-type breeders live? Are there even breeders here?

>Tfw no pokemon to worship

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I want to marry the sword

>>6870632
>water-type breeders
The ones I've met just live near rivers, lakes, swamps, or whatever. They have near-constant prune-fingers, though, and most of them have nearly drowned at least once.

I'll tell you this, though, dark-types tend to either be mischievous - read: "dicks" - or they have some form of toxin or other passive harmful effect.

In your case, I'd suggest that you just try to get them to branch out into dark-types. Try to get them to raise a few houndour/houndoom and spread out from there. Do be careful, though, an upset houndoom has a toxin that it unconsciously passes into its fire that causes a specific type of skin and nerve damage. The kind that leaves ugly scars and lasting pain that never fully goes away.

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>>6870734
>branch-out
>family is purist

I'm fucked anon, thanks for the info. At least the weather is lovely here in Ula Ula.
Pic related my boyo when he tried to snatch eggs from a pidgeot nest

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>>6870538
Often times, it's the Pokemon that do the fucking.

>>6870589
Sure, sounds reeeeaaaally convenient when you put it like that.

Next you'll tell me that the bad feelings of all Pokemon manifested into a superpowered, celestial being and is trying to destroy the world? Give me a break.

>>6857144
Fucking honchkrows. Why can't they just go back to sinnoh where they belong? They don't contribute shit to society.

hey i love yooooooou guys yyoure all my besssssst friends

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>>6860391
Who's team rocket? Here in Unova there's some group of sissy liberals who want everyone to release their pokemon because "they don't like it." Who the fuck do they think they are? I'm not releasing my childhood friend because Adobe hippies say to. Fuck em.

>>6870873
Convenient or not, I'm just saying that, with how crazy some of the stuff in this world is, it wouldn't surprise me if something like that actually happened.

>>6871191
That'd be team plasma. Team rocket is basically Kanto and Johto's version of that, but they're not out to free pokémon. They want to steal them to commit crimes. They're essentially the mob.

>>6870511
Sorry guys, I left my computer on and my magnemite started posting

>>6871571
How do we know you're not another Pokemon though?

>>6871589
fuk u i am humen

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Lampent! Also don't try to kiss a Lampent it burns a lot

>>6871607
Aight, cool. Good to hear.

So what's your favorite Pokemon? Mine's Garchomp.

>Pitch black in my room
>Have my gengar in my lap
>Playing shitty games
>Best friend over right now
this is the life man

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So I was visiting one of my friends in a far away region, when I saw pic related.

WTF kind of pokemon is this?

>>6871924
It's... I don't think it is. I think it's one of the non-pokémon animals that some of the pokémon's species names are based off of from before the war that Lt. Surge is always talking about being a part of.

I'm surprised that there even are any, honestly. Must be some dedicated breeders wherever you saw it.

>>6871660
magnemite is the best pokemon
superior to all others

>>6871924
I think it's called a tall doggo

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>>6869744
Right, OK. She woke up just about an hour ago.

I felt her head turn to look at me, giving a small smile. She looked really happy about what happened.

I told her that we need to talk about our "relationship". She looked confused.

I once again thought about everything I was mulling over. Everything I talked about here, everything me and Obsidian did together, a lot of other stuff.

I thought about telling her I couldn't do it. But that warm look she gave me, the affection she showed towards me, our friendship we've have; I thought that it'd all disappear swiftly if I told her I don't want to be her "mate".

Her confusion grew as I tried to find my answer. I told her that I never said I approved of her advances towards me and that I didn't know what to feel after our... mating.

She started to look worried. I reminded her that I knew her since I was a kid and she grew up with me.

I told her that I thought about it all, and I finally know where I stand.

I told her I agreed.

Not directly, but something along the lines of "I'm happy with being... romantically involved with you."

She looked relieved. Started rubbing her cheek against my chest while muttering.

I'd never live it down if I told her no. I know it looks like I was forced into this relationship, especially with how I stood earlier with her being close to family. But reminding myself of how happy she was, how she felt towards me, and everything else, it made me happy too.

It's definitely a shot in the dark, and I don't know what else will happen like with relatives or other things in the future, but I feel... content with this decision.

Thanks thread.

You kids see anyone offering 'hot' pokemon for sale?

>>6864871
>Alakazams spend their time shitposting

>>6872152
More like
>Alakazams spend their time using their psychic powers making other people shitpost for them

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>>6872172
haha nice one
everyone knows alakazams love reddit more

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>>6869677
>>6869724
Looker pokephilia is legal for 5 years ago since the invention of the pokemon translator while it isn't common for being too expensive but the prices drop every year and maybe in 4~5 years it might be common place for all trainer and non trainers alike, but while i isn't cheao yet you can choose for the services of psychic and their pokemon to translate for you.
Is reasons like this i'm your superintendent looker

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How do I convince my pokemon to sit on my face?
Or how can I get them to do so by accident?

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Hey guys, my Tyrantrum, Henry, has been super pissy lately. Not with me, but he immediately starts puffing up and growling whenever I try to interact with other trainers or Pokemon - it's gotten to the point where he growled at my Volcarona, Aldebaran, who he normally gets along with like cookies and milk. Any suggestions?

>>6872565
Have a talk with him. I mean talk to him like you'd talk to a human.

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I think my geodude is retarded...
What happened to it?

>>6872736
Looks like he caught the autism

i love you guys

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>>6869502
yes i am a pretty a pretty affectionate with her ever since i she was an egg ten years ago, she was my first pokemon after all, i even let her sleep in my bed with me but i would only hug her nothing dirty.
almost i everytime i want on a date ellie would always gets angry, and always make a mess on my dates and send the girl away, everytime i complained at her she would start crying to make me feel bad, and would mostly work, so i usually say that it's okay, give a pat on her head and kiss on her cheek, that akways makes she stop crying and start blushing that i found it cute everytime, exept for one time where i was going to give her a kiss on the cheek and she turned her face quickly so i would kiss her lips, i was the one who was blushing that time and ellie was the one who found it cute
maybe the reason she always did messed up my dates was because she was jealous of some other girl taking me away from her.

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>>6872595
Outside of the occasional trainers I battle my Pokemon are the only companions of mine, so I do spend a fair deal of time talking to them.

However, I've only brought up this topic once with him. I figured that he was probably feeling under the weather and lashing out as most sick Pokemon do and tried to ask about it without directly implying he wasn't at his best... I pride myself on being good at reading the body language of Pokemon, but even I'm not sure if those grumbles were an honest confirmation of his health or a deflection of some sort.

I have noticed that he doesn't tend to be aggressive towards kids or old people, but I'm not sure if it's a coincidence or what.

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Alright I'm heading off to bed don't let the thread die! Sleep tight guys.

Well, Luxfag here, writing from hospital.

Today I learned three important things about Luxray that I wasn't told by anyone:

1: The spot under their tail happens to be within close proximity of a bundle of nerves. I was told this. What I was not told was where they were connected to.

2: Stimulation of these nerves does sway them to your will, but only in a completely sexual manner. Apparently that spot is where the nerves of their entire rear end connect to the spine. Needless to say, messing with that will bring unexpected closure to any encounter.

3: Luxray orgasms end in an explosive electrical shock that will cause anyone in close proximity (such as me) severe burns.

...I guess that was a learning experience. I just hope nobody close to me finds out...

>>6873078
Do you have a pokédex? If not, did you have him, "sexed," to determine his gender?

What you're describing sounds sort of like how a brooding hen would act before laying an egg, but only a female should be doing that. If you're a hundred percent sure of his gender, then it's something else.

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>>6872736
By any chance have you been letting your Geodude use your computer or any other device with access to the Internet? Trust me, I'm a Dr, this is important info

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>>6873359
I do not have a Pokedex, but I can, with certainty, confirm that my Tyrantrum is a male. Let's just say that Tyrunt puberty is a very awkward time for everyone.

It's just very odd for him ... normally when he's in a bad mood he'll make a point of being very pissy and throwing a fit off in a corner somewhere. Quite the opposite of what he's been doing, which has been sticking to me like Goodra slime, make some weird rumbly sounds I couldn't identify, and then puff at anything that walks by.

His worst incident was actually earlier - a girl was getting a bit ... flirty... after the battle and. Well. I didn't know that Tyrantrum feathers could puff up that much. It sorta reminded me of the few times I've seen Unfezant getting after each other.

>>6863076
Your lizard is shit

>>6871992
What about Magnezone?

>>6873854
Sounds like he's being protective, then. Were you injured as a result of anything, or just sick in general recently?

I mean, I know it's something that a lot of people tend to fall back on, but taking your pokémon to a well-trained psychic-type to figure out what's going on works most of the time.

So I was doing some research, planning out trips and such to the other regions, and I noticed something.

Why aren't there any Dark gyms? Even the fairy types in Kalos have a gym, but not dark!?

>>6875042
Dark-types have a pair of really common weaknesses, namely Bug- and Fighting-types. While this seems to make some sense, with early gyms meant to be tests to younger trainers, but bugs are just too common, to the point that there's usually at least one or two pretty decent species of Bug-types for each region that would turn a pretty decently taxing hurdle into nothing more than a speed-bump.

I have a problem here.

I own a Primarina and a Shinx(both female) but they don't seem to get along very well. When I focus on one, the other would get jealous and try to pull away, usually involving bites and fish slaps.

Is there an anon that can lend a hand? I just wanna cuddle my pokemon without being hurt every 5 minutes

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>Ctrl F no results for Flygon
What's with all this shit taste

>>6872038
I hope everything works out for you, anon. I'm glad you decided to give being her mate a try, being involved with your Pokémon romantically is both a burden and greatly rewarding.

Just remember that there is no "breaking up" with your Sableye at this point, your her mate so you can't back down without utterly destroying her. Tread lightly.

>>6875741
>people don't share my tastes
>their tastes must be shit
Good job, five stars post, wow, excellent taste, showed them.

Seriously, just because someone doesn't like the exact thing you like doesn't mean they have shut taste. Maybe, instead of defaulting to thinking our tastes are shit, give us a reason to share your tastes?

Also, anything with an ice attack says, "Hi."

>>6873854
He's being protective of you
Usually they act like that when they choose a mate
the dino wants to fugg you, dude

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I finally got my froakie to do the sad pepe face

>>6876833
lol
>that pokéfeel when no gf

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So don't explore dark dangerous caves when it's also pitch black outside. I'm glad I had a flashlight with me but fucking hell it's spooky.

Happy holidays you fucks

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Machoke of course.

How do you raise Beware without, you know, dying?

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I count myself among the luckiest trainers in the world because of this Umbreon, had an artist do a painting of her.

On another note, I'm thinking of doing the full route, Kanto-Johto-Hoenn-Sinnoh-Unova-Kalos. And then maybe kick back in Alola once it's all said and done. What I'm wondering is if it's possible to do all this with just Lune here.

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>>6878208
>Umbreon
>Poison Sweat
have fun dying at 30

i mean given i have an evil coffin that comes into my room and stares at me when i'm sleeping a lot but you know

>>6878240
I take the antidote with breakfast every day, so it's killing my wallet more than its killing me.

>>6878355
sounds like shit anon

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>>6873054
I-i can't believe it, i went and d-did it, i couldn't take it anymore with all her teasing and i accepted her invitation, i had sex with ellie.
Who am i kidding ever since she started to seduce me, deep down i wanted to reciprocate my feeling for her too but was too unsure if it was the right thing to do.
She was there laying in my bed with her legs spread at in the direction of the door, expecting me to arrive, showing all her private parts, she started to use her psychic power to spread her pussy and start to pleasure herself in front of me, her lewd moans were so cute that i was enchanted, and there i though "screw it", and decided to take my pants off and let free my penis.
With a little wink she pulled me towards her with her powers and i decided to say it to her "i love you ellie" despite her being able to read your mind she starts blushing and crying happiness, i hugged her and kissed her deeply, she kissed me back.
I started rubbing my dick at her clit, she was moaning but i was teasing for way too long she inpatient used her psychic powers put to move my dick and penetrate her, she bleed a little for it was her first time. I said "are you okay" she nooded as she asked you to move your body.
I hold her cute butt and start to carefully move my hips not to be aggressive, not only it was hers but also your first time, her aroused moans are adorable and she showers my head with every feeling she had for me, i start moving faster nearing my climax, while her walls are tightening with her also nearing her climax, i said out loud "i love you ellie , sorry for not proving it sooner" as i orgssm release inside her as she trembles also orgasming, with both of us exhausted for the experience i kissed softly and she kissed me back as we fell asleep.
When i woke up earlier this morning i freaked out a little bucause what would happen if she layed an egg and stuff like that.

>>6878432
>i freaked out a little bucause what would happen if she layed an egg and stuff like that.
Humans can't breed with Pokemon.

>>6878377
Cuddles are worth it anon
So worth it

>>6878432
I just reported you to the international police

>>6878598
i just thought that since she was on the human-like egg group it was possible.
i was worried for nothing them

ITS CHRISTMAS STOP FUCKI G YOUR POKEMON REEEEEEEEE

>>6878717
Nah, our reproductive cycle is too different from Pokemon (like the fact that we give live birth while Pokemon lay eggs, for instance). I remember back in high school a buddy of mine asked our biology teacher if there was such a thing as a Pokemon/human hybrid, and she said that on a base level it's not possible (she did say that the idea of combining Pokemon/human genetics was something that people are still researching but I'm pretty sure we'd hear something by now if they managed to actually do it).

But no, you don't have to worry about knocking up your Beheeyem.

>>6878753
make me

>>6878753
>Not cumming in your pokemon as a christmas present

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Guys, I'm thinking of getting my Gengar pal a Choice Band for Christmas, along some other things I already got for the rest of the team, but the price is through the roof here. It's just sitting in that store shelf, taunting me.

Working for Team Sku- I mean work, just work, yeah, isn't paying that good.

Anyway, side note, does Trick Room, Hypnosis, or Flash work on people? Just wanted to know. For science. Yeah.

>>6879785
>choice band
hey you don't happen to live in po town do you anon

>>6879808
Yea- No! No. Nope, never heard of it.

Why'd you ask?

>>6879834
hey ill get you one and swing by im pretty close and it is christmas so can't hurt to be nice huh?
meet me at the front gate

>>6879853
Ok, I, uh, still don't know WHERE this Po Town is or even if it is a real place, but yeah, cool man.

Thanks.

>>6879895
no problem
look for the guy with the alolan persian

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Is it okay to leave my Mimikyu alone at home?

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I fucking fucked up bros.

My Celesteela allowed me to penetrate her huge rocketship cunt with my tiny in comparison penis, and it was the fucking bomb. But I came too fucking much, is the problem. But then I said "Oh it's okay dawg no way she can get pregnant from this shit." I was wrong as fuck. She laid an egg not too long ago now and I'm scared shitless that it might be a tard. What do?

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>>6880501
>I fucked an ayylmao
what the fuck are you on?

Anyway, my Cofagrigus keeps sneaking into my room and staring at me. I wake up and he's just chilling there. I'm not cursed to be his slave in the afterlife or something right?

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I dont know why I love tankmons so much. But I would love to have at least these 3, but it probably would be hard to keep a Toxapex since you have to have a constant supply of corsola meals just to keep it a alive.

>>6880342
its fine, just leave enough materials so it does not get bored, they love working on their costumes. when no one is watching them,

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>>6880713
Thanks anon!

>>6880713
You know you can just buy Corsola stalks pretty cheap in Alola?

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>>6874777
Nothing serious, just the minor cuts and bruises that happen when you live in the middle of a forest. However, my Volcarona has been out of commission after an encounter with Team Plasma this week. Tending the injured wing has been quite difficult, so maybe he's just worried?

I would take him to a Psychic trainer, but I live in the woods just north of White Forest so I'm not sure if there's one anywhere nearby...
>>6876698
I'd... never considered that as a possibility. I guess it just never occurred to me that homosexuality was something Pokemon did? That's.... Definitely something I'll have to sleep on.

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>>6861591
I'm a photographer and I have a question, do you leave your pokemon unattended often?

>>6861540
just fuck her already

>>6880588
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Jokes aside, he may just have nothing better to do at night other than guard your unconscious body. Have you considered leaving something out for him to do?
>>6875688
Try group cuddle sessions. Your Pokemon seeing that neither of them is getting favoritism may solve the issue - just make sure both are getting pet at the same time, rather than switching back and forth.

>>6864924
why not? I would think that an electric type might be able to connect to the computer and would be able to directly upload our thoughts onto a site

>>6881579
I don't know what else to leave out for him. I've got him to play vidya before. He knows how to raid my fridge. Hell I've caught him up at night watching tv. It seems like he's more interested in guarding me or something.

>>6881634
Well, I mean, remember what he is. He's a sarcophagus. His entire thing is to guard dead people. He may just have decided that, since you caught him, and he doesn't have any actual dead bodies to watch, that since he still has the drive to protect something similar to a dead body, a sleeping body will do.

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>All these posts
Hey OP here, when the thread reaches autosage you guys want me to make a new one?

>>6881709
I mean, sure. What you got on deck for the next thread topic?

>>6881767
I was gonna ask something about what you do with your pokemon or something?
Frankly I wasn't expecting as many people to jump into this as did.

>>6881673
Well that's fine. Thanks anon.

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I want to fuck Hoopa!

>>6881529
No i take care of them all the time, maybe sometimes i leave them alone for their private times.
Also my scolipede is male, you must have taken a photo from another couple

>>6881529
Xyzzy and Zed, my rotom and porygon z, are always in the computer I got for them. My pair of quilava, a brother and sister pair, tend to hover around me. My lucario is by herself most often, trying to figure out how to use the aura abilities of her mega form in her non-mega form, but she has Xyzzy and Zed watching her via a remote-controlled drone. My eevee rarely leaves my side, except to eat.

>>6881529
My Umbreon is almost always either by my side or in her ball

Merry Christmas!

¡Feliz Navidad!

>>6869552
>>6869351
Its so not him it hurts.

>>6881541
A little late to that, partner.

>>6870807
>purists
>breeding Litten, first stage of fire/dark Incineroar
I don't think it'll be as difficult as you think, Anon. I'm just saying.

Aw how cute, my Delibird is putting presents around! :D

>>6883837
Go to bed

>My Gengar keeps giving me nightmares
why

>>6884252
What are they about?

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>>6883354
Who the fuck else would it be? My landlord won't let me back into my house unless I "clean up my act"

>>6884287
Weird shit about him being extremely big and trying to boss me around and kill me.

>>6884342
Try doing what the other guy did?

>>6869126

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my hypno has been way to fat so i decided to put her on a diet, but everytime, she hypnotizes me so i give her all the sweets she wants, and if i don't have any in home i go buy it
how should i deal with this?

>>6881579
Thanks anon, it helped a lot. It was hard the first time, but they are getting used to it

My Porygon-Z keeps getting viruses from doing weird shit on the internet. I don't know what he's actually doing though... he always clears browsing history and every time I've caught him he rapidly shuts everything down.
It's pretty easy to heal with antidotes but he always gets really embarrassed and tries to hide that he's sick.
Any advice?

>>6887801
why is this board so fucking active?

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>tfw you fix things with your pokemon so now you have warm cuddles at night from both of them

>>6888280
Doesn't it get crowded?

>>6888294
Not really
It's comfy af

>Cold as fuck
>Chilling with my Magcargo
Super comfy.

>People call them "rare" and "legendary" pokemon
>They're fucking everywhere
>Somehow the legendary dogs are in Orre AND Johto at the same time
nice meme

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How do i take a munna's dream mist without hurting her or male her feel uncomfortable?
I heard that having dream mist before sleeping helps you to have better nights of sleep, because i have a bad case of restless nights i caught one but when i ask her for dream mist all she does is blush gets all embarrassed, why does this happen?

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>>6888709
How much does your Munna like you?
Because it's an intimate procedure.

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>>6888738
she seems to like me a lot, i may have caught her two months ago, and by caught i mean she went grabbed my bag and used a ball on herself, i was planning on catching one but that helps.
she usually likes nuzzling in my chest. when i'm laying in my bed.
i guess she likes me alot

>>6888863
When she gets embarassed, you need to pursue that and ask her if anything's wrong.

>>6886961
He sorta sounds like a teenager getting caught with porn. That may be why he's so intent on hiding where he got the viruses from. Ask him about the sites he's browsing, and if he doesn't want to tell you then perhaps you could just ask him to be more careful about the sites he chooses. If he does tell you what they are then you could always suggest versions that *aren't* virus infested.

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>>6888875
I did and said "don't worry you can say what is in your mind and i'llbe here to support you"
As i said that she she started smiling i heard the sound of something dripping and she showed one her dreams.
I was tenderly kissing her while we were laying in my bed, when she finished showing her dream i was blushing and said that "that's what you think huh?" I smiled and decided to make her dream become reality and kissed her.

Pokemon are for snug not for fug

Why is Victini so cute and how do I get one?

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>>6889196
See
>>6872434

>>6889764
Doesn't change the fact that a lot of Pokemon just physically don't work for fug, but snug is universal.

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>>6855860
I fucking hate you all.

>>6890268
I suppose that's true. You really can't bang a Klinklang.
... unless you're one of those brave people with a black hole for an anus.

>>6889265
I'll give you a step by step guide to getting a Victini, anon.
1. Take an Espurr
2. Dye fur orange
3. Dock ears and tail
4. Tape wings to its butt
5. Teach it to say "Veee!' over and over
You now have a Victini.

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i found an severely injured durant in a near a forest fire, wich i assume was an attack of a group of heatmors, it was crying, had some severe burn marks and most of it's legs were broken, i cariied it and hurried to the nearest pokemon center, the nurse asked what happened and i said i found it near a site of a fire, she said that if it took a few minutes more the poor durant would have died, she asked if i was the owner, i said no but i would take care of it.
i passed the whole night waiting for the oparation to end, the sun rised, and the nurse said the had the durant recovered and i should mostly put inside on the pokeball to recover.
i said to slow down, and i didn't even capture it yet, but since i already went all this way to stay all night i decidet to capture, so pulled a pokeball from inside my bag and capture it, the nurse said that she would be fine with a good trainer, "so it's a she" i blurted, i stayed there for a few seconds thinking i decided to name her titania.
she's recovering pretty nicely but she still pretty shy and scared with everyone execpt me, what should i do to make her open up with other mons and humans?

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>>6891500
Well you gotta start slow. Take her to places where trainers won't have super intimidating pokemon. Wherever your Route 1 equivalent is or to pokemon centers and let her be around pokemon.
Just keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't get too scared or anything, that definitely won't help the recovery process.

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>>6891500
Definitely don't just throw her out to socialize with other Pokemon and humans face-to-face. That's a good way for her to book it far, FAR outta the way where you might not be able to find her or get into a nasty fight for what she thinks is life or death.

Durants are known to be very aggressive when threatened, at least towards those in their territories. Though it also depends on how scared she is towards Pokemon and people, so she might not do either unless she gets REALLY scared.

Either way, try and stay close to her, since she sees you as a safe person to be with. It'll help her stay a bit calmer.

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>>6891693
i didn't put her in any battles yet, she is still recovering from her wounds, i only introduced her to my other pokemon and my friends and family and the daily check ups on my town's pokemon center, they are all friendly but she probably still to shaken up by the attack that she doesn't trust anyone but me,
but with only me she's pretty clingy and nuzzly and i even let her sleep on my bed
>>6892354
no i never leave her side, i'm too worried by her because she's too hurt to be by herself yet

>>6892452
>but with only me she's pretty clingy and nuzzly and i even let her sleep on my bed
Just be careful she doesn't choose you as her mate.
Or don't if you're into that.

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>>6893229
i didn't thought of that, but if it happens it happens, she is pretty cute around me though.
i let her in my bed because i was worried for her and the nurse said to be always close to her in case she had a relapse, she was recovered a bit and now she doesn't want to sleep without me.
honestly i don't mind her company, if she did fell in love with me i wouldn't mind being her mate

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>>6892452
>pretty clingy and nuzzly and I even let her sleep on my bed
Sounds like my Floatzel during the REAL winters in Snowpoint. And he's a Sinnoh-bred, so he has that bulk to him to resist the cold.

Really fluffy coat of fur, too.

>>6890314
Or a tungsten dick. I've seen some videos, man.

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I love the sword

>>6893692
It's true, anything is a dildo if you're brave enough >>6893787

>>6893877
Oh, no, I more meant sticking your dick into or between the gears. There was a video of multiple guys doing that with a klinklang. I actually couldn't click off of it, because I was too busy having empathy pain, so I had to watch the whole thing. The pokémon seemed to enjoy it, at least.

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>>6893877
Don't bully me I'm attracted to swords and ice cream. I like objects and objectmon.

>>6893928
I've never had a Pokemon from the Klink line, but I'm assuming the gears were actually going?
Arceus, I'm cringing just typing that.
>>6893983
So... Vanilluxe. An incredibly cold dildo. I mean, you do you man, I'm just not seeing the appeal.

>>6894135
Just... back and forth, yeah, like a push and pull, but inch and a half-thick steel gear teeth clamped down on a group of dicks.

Aaand my dick has retreated into my hip remembering it. It went on for nineteen minutes.

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>>6894135
>So... Vanilluxe. An incredibly cold dildo.
Actually blowjobs from them are pretty, well

cool.

>>6894176
i remember i saw one video with a klink but it was only one person putting his dick in it,
it didn't look painfull and both individals have an fun time, it's odd hearing an klang orgasm but it was a pleasing sound

>>6894200
Just curious, but can you fuck the straw? Seems like Vanilluxe would be big enough that most dicks would fit.
>>6894176
Yikes. I think the worst shit I've seen was a Swalot giving a blow job. I didn't finish the video, but I'm fairly certain the guy no longer has a dick.

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>>6894316
I've tried but its damn cold in there. Oral sex is all I'm going for now lest I have to use an ice heal on my dick.

>>6872565

Tyrantrum? Get him a mate. You've got a horny Dragon Type.

>>6894316
i saw that, his dick was still there but apperently the swalot was nervous and accindently spilled some poison in it, so the guy fainted from the poison, but he was unharmed

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>>6894354
you shouldn't try to stick in the straw, since it's the part where the vanilluxe where the ice is produced that's why it's colder than the rest of the body.
their private parts are also warmer than the rest of the body so it's possible to reproduce with mates, the mouth is also warmer than the rest of the body

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>>6894355
I've had some discussion with the other anons, and they've pointed out that he's being protective, possible because he's chosen me as a mate.
I kinda want to go for it, but I'm not sure how to go about it- both on the front of bringing it up and on the front of actually fucking him. Tyrantrum dicks are huge, so I'm not sure how I would go through that without dying from anal bleeding.
>>6894382
Well then. Could be a lot worse. At least he's not like the guy with the cauterized anus from "One Guy One Ponyta"

The thread's autosaging, are we going to wait for >>6881709 to make a new one or is someone else going to do it?

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>>6894540

New bread

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>>6894543
Yeah I'm OP I already got to it. Thanks anon.
>>6894552