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haha i hate myself the cycle never ends

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Thread replies: 302
Thread images: 72

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haha i hate myself

the cycle never ends
>>
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Let's kick the new thread off with some tunes.
What we listening to this evening, fellow Possums?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4Kmn_9CILtM
>>
>>6440517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymMxzQve6WM

except the nerd titled the video wrong and it's actually called "Morning Coffee Evening Caffeine"
>>
>>6440517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvnRXPY6OVg
>>
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>>6440517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaevJlSR4_A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfTo_5164r0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxHaz0PH8bI
>>
>my drawing tablet came in 1 week earlier than anticipated

haha time to use it once and never ever use it ever again because i'm an """"""""""artist"""""""""" and not actually someone who's capable, talented, and equipped with the necessary technical skills
>>
>>6441746
I hate to sound like an utter bastard, but are you taking requests?
>>
>>6442102
i probably wouldn't be able to fulfill it anyways because it takes like an eternity to put out a fridge art tier drawing, ask away
>>
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>>6442165
I had this crazy idea of Clem and the gang re-enacting pic related. Drawfags are pretty rare in the threads I visit.
>>
>>6442250
i could give it a shot but expect me to never ever deliver ever because i'm below drawfags and just a pitiful dumbass dabbling in things i can't even hope hope to comprehend

plus i'm still sort of getting my bearings straight on this tablet, i'm still totally new with it
>>
>>6442298
Take your time with it, man. I'd hate to put talented folks under pressure.
Thanks for considering.
>>
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>>6442383
>talent

i don't think i put enough quotation marks on the word """"""""""artist"""""""""" here

pic related it's me trying to sort my shit out on the tablet
>>
>>6442519
addenum, brb leaving for work
>>
>>6441746
>>6442519
I also bought a tablet a year ago and thought I'll use it to learn how to draw, but it turned out to be increadibly hard to use on it's own
You're still doing better with one than I do, kek. I can't even chug simple lines with it.

I'm still learning how to draw though, but I'm using pencil and paper instead and the tablet has been gathering dust
>>
>>6442519
id fap to it
>>
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Any chance I'll improve in life if I just stop browsing 4chan and focus on uni and practicing drawing?
>>
>>6444484
just browse a little less, no sense in deleting something you enjoy
>>
aaaaaaaaAAAA i need a job
the house i'm co- renting is having an unexpected change of ownership
i could be booted in as soon as a month and i've only about $230 to my name and no skills or experience and also autism
>>
>>6440517
https://youtu.be/Re1qqm0tOoE
god i wish i had booze
>>
>>6444693
True, but I think my main gripe is playing video games too much until now. Fucks up my uni and my drive to draw.
It's my biggest regret to date, I used to be obsessed with drawing back when I was little drawing everyday.
Now when vidya came into the picture, it drained my talent to zero, can't draw or can't play any musical instruments at all.
I just hope it isn't too late to be actually good at something for once because I'm already the blandest guy you'll ever meet.
/blog
>>
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I just remembered about one of the girls I had a massive crush on in high school.
I wonder how she's doing.

Aw, fuck me, I was such a massive pile of awkwardness
>>
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I managed to blowout one of my tires on the highway today. Luckily It was a rear tire and I was able to pull over safely.
Just a reminder to check your tire pressure every now and then assuming you have a car.
>>
>when u know yr ugly but then a friend says you're "not really sexy" (not in a mean way, just being honest) but it still hurts
fuck me and my dumb feelings
>>
>>6448231
If a friend found me sexy, unless they were joking about it/fucking around, that wouldn't bode well for the relationship. It seems like you're exaggerating what that comment actually means.
>>
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back from work

>>6442581
it's funny because it's the other way around for me when it comes to drawing. i can't survive on pencil and paper because CTRL+Z doesn't exist and i can't literally relocate shit that i already drew around

>>6442586
disheartening news but i'm 2shit at drawing to do any smut

pic related it's the last thing i drew before i got my tablet
>>
>tfw fell for college meme
i honestly should follow my dreams and transfer to film school because any major i choose will be as useless
>>
>>6448831
What's your major, and have you checked out any of those 'undecided major' courses?
>>
>>6448777
we're p lewd friends, exchanged dicpics etc
i kinda want to bang him so I probably took it worse than i would for a different friend
>>
so what is this, a general for depressed fucks?
>>
>>6448899
I guess that goes well beyond the sort of friend I was thinking of, yeah.
>>6448927
yeah
>>
>>6440517
Getting down with a classic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y413Vk9FzY0
I'm really trying to perfect this style of vocals. Its a lot harder than youd think to sound intentionally sloppy and off-key but still good.
>>
>>6440517
media production
which is a more general catch all because there's a lot more courses having to do with the business aspect than just film/tv and theres slightly more marketability in the major i guess (slightly more than 0% is still 0%)

other things i can do include dropping out which will put me on the hook for some 10k or switching to another major, which is an issue because i'm fucking retarded

>you got into a college you can't be that retarded
i'm taking elementary algebra in spring semester
>>
>>6445949
There was a girl who had a massive crush on me back in highschool. I also had feelings for her at the time but didnt say anything.

She has 2 kids now

haha
>>
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>>6448831
>mfw taking the community college route
In my state it's practically free if you're smart or know how to get financial aid. I feel at home since everyone around me is just as clueless as I am.
>>
>>6448935
nice. i like it.
>>
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>>6448927
Even /trash/ has its own trash.
>>
>>6448981
You should realize by now that, for a lot of people, math courses are largely unnecessary for what they end up doing. Being shit at math doesn't mean much at all.

Just get through the shit courses, try everything, do as best as you can, and realize that the real trap is thinking you've got a career locked down at this point.
>>
>>6449026
i should've gone to CC but i think i was so blinded by my terrible high school experience + so hell bent on going to a "real college" that i probably shot myself in the foot when it came to applying

i turned down going to a cheaper school for one where i could live on campus. if nothing else, i'm glad i left home but if i did it all over again i'd probably go somewhere else

or go back in time to kick myself in the dick beginning of freshman year of high school for fucking myself over so hard

>>6440517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ-OcXW6Icw
>>
>>6440633
I like this!
Also, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVMnAbgTBe8
>>
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>>6440517
This classic always soothes my weary soul.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fzFHdT7xao
>>
goodnight thread

maybe i'll feel better when i wake up
>>
>>6449740
sleep tight friend
>>
should i feel bad over the death of a cousin ive never met

cause everyone in my family is shitting t heir pants over it its annoying
>>
>>6450430
You should pretend to be sympathetic around them.
You can resume being an edgy asshole when they're not in mourning.
>>
>>6448779
It's not too bad actually

If you want to improve you can always download a book on figure drawing
>>
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>>6451625
thanks for enabling my shitty delusional dabblings
>>
>>6451672
You are already a better artist than 90% of 4chan so theres that.
>>
>>6451672
sike
>>
hh
>>
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>use meal plan at campus convenience store
>meal hasn't refreshed yet, I'm half an hour early
>say I'll just put it back but cashier has already charged my flex account
>I asked for the remainder to be on my campus account
It's only six bucks but I am beyond mad

What's your biggest bullshit first world problem right now, possum thread?
>>
>>6454370
i have no friends and want to die literally all the time
>>
>>6454370
Being alive
>>
>>6454384
Well me too (more like half the time though) but let's ignore that for a second
>>
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>evicted from apartments at 13
>lose friends I could see on the regular
>move into a tin box in the middle of nowhere
>make new friends but never see them outside school
>never able to go anywhere cause Mom is always working
>want to join theater but never have a ride
>never joins any clubs
>grow complacent in life as a hermit
>Mom straight up asks why I'm so "weird" and says I need to get out in do things, even though I can't
>spend entire teen years alone doing nothing
>finally able to move into suburbs at 18
>in a different town
>high school friends move on and have lives
>still complacent as a shut in
>suddenly wake up one day and realize that life sucks
>don't know how to move on and meet people
>have barely any hobbies outside of the internet because I never developed any
>generally feel uncomfortable out in public
>only friends are on skype

Is it normal to wish you could just wake up one day and start over from childhood? I feel like I've missed out so much and even if I do get out there and make new friends I don't think I'll ever be complete.
>>
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>>6454370
>Today while driving on the highway I lost control on an exit ramp and spun out.
>I barely kept my car from rolling over and killing myself.
>Also >>6448015 just happened to me yesterday.
At this rate I'm going to be dead by Thanksgiving.
>>
>>6454370
my neighbours' wifi that i was leeching has been down for weeks
also i'm too lazy to get a job
and i have no booze or drugs
>>
>>6454370
I've printed off copies of my shitty CV and should be looking for a job but I'm too busy playing Skyrim and watching The Young Ones.
>>
im bored and lonely and i hate myself
>>
>>6458113
chat me up comrade
>>
>>6458145
where
>>
>>6458270
anywhere, even just here via posts so other nerds can hop on in the discussion
>>
im getting attracted to my uncles boyfriend god
Shes so small and has the cutest little face and some rocking boobies

Aoh god my neighbour is smoking weed and the smoke is entering my window hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>>
dont die on me
>>
>>6461317
im here

sadly

bored and trying to do work at 12 midnight what's goin on
>>
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should i try applying for a mmj card? Masshole reporting.

is being a sad sack of shit "debilitating" enough? also insomnia, i can't sleep most nights. I don't wanna pay $200 just to find out I'm not sick enough for weed.
>>
>>6461483
i dunno how you qualify for that here. one of my college friends is from cali and apparently got a mmj card for basically existing. that being said we go to uni in a state where you can't get weed to begin with so

is there no way of figuring out beforehand if you qualify?
>>
>>6461634
I'm gonna call the place before going. My excuse is "insomnia" which honestly weed does help with that a lot. But if they can't give me a straight answer I basically gotta gamble the $200.

ive heard those cali shitters can do an appointment over skype. That's just insane.
>>
>>6461722
that sucks but i guess $200 isn't as bad compared to the alternative
(relatively; saving up $200 just to risk on a mmj appointment would be like 2 or 3 pay periods for me)

i feel like you ought to get your money refunded if you're rejected but i guess that's how they make money. my cali friends may have weed but they're all paying exorbitant out-of-state tuition prices to attend here so i win in the end. somewhat. i'm still paying more than what i probably should.

for most of last year and the summer insomnia completely tanked my life, i don't really know what i did to make it go away but if i thought weed might've helped i probably wouldve gone for it
>>
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>>6454615
>I don't think I'll ever be complete.
You won't but that doesn't mean you can't be happy with who you are.
Carpe scrotum, mate. Seize life by the balls. I'm a hermit too but I force myself out of my comfort zone because I know long-term isolation isn't good for me. Like last night, my neighbor invited me over to watch some college basketball and even though I couldn't give two shits about the sport or my school, I still went and had a good time just hanging out with another man-animal.
YOU are the only person who can initiate change in your life.
>>
goodnight thread
>>
>>6463112
Have good sleepings!
>>
haha
>>
Would you guys rather be depressed or "Fitter, Happier?"
>>
>>6463860
self improvement terrifies me so the first one
>>
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>>6463860
I am fairly fit and happy. I'm type 2 bipolar but that's what the Prozac's for.
>>
>>6463922
this
>>
>>6440517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jadvt7CbH1o

Devo soothes your soul
>>
how come people who post possums are always such whiny, histrionic bitches?

just off yourself already
>>
>>6464910
>whiny, histrionic bitches
>just off yourself already
I see you're a fan of irony.
>>
>>6454615
That's pretty much me

I have a couple of hobbies but they're not of a social type and I use them to kill time other people use to socialize
When the day is gone, I occasionally feel bad for myself before I get to sleep
>>
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>>6463860
I don't really feel either. I don't feel unmotivated to do shit but I'm never chirpy and enthusiastic about anything.
I know life gets better, but I just don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
Anybody willing to lend some wisdom or other motivational garbage? The most my friends and family have been offering has been pic related.
>>
happy turky day

i'm more excited for danksgiving desu
>>
>>6466523
as a kid i always waitedfor thanksgiving day and snowy xmas

fucking globalization man
>>
haha come back guys
>>
>when you stand up really quickly and you feel like youre gonna pass out
im gonna die
haha
>>
>>6469165
hi
going to lunch with my family has temporarily saved me from being a hungry nigga
still need a job though
>>
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my doctor because I had this weird, dry cough for the last week. I hope that it's super aids that will kill me in next few days.
>>
>>6470950
good luck
>>
what do edgy shitheads do most of the time

i smoke a lot and wander through town aimlessly and talk to homeless people instead of doing college work

im in my first semester of freshman year and i already to die

oh and haha i hate myself
>>
>>6471726
exist
>>
>>6472055
hm ok
>>
>>6440517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAPVcsDOU9U

one of my favorite doom metal songs
>>
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You survived another Thanksgiving, you useless piece of shit.
Congratulations.
>>
>>6463099
>I still went and had a good time just hanging out with another man-animal.

Dan?
>>
>>6471726
>im in my first semester of freshman year and i already to die
same

>>6463112
today went by fast

goodnight thread
>>
>>6440517
https://youtu.be/txXQH978aug
>>
>>6473780
I didn't even go. I had work until 1, Got off and went go the skate park and got high. I then lied to my family and told them I got of at like 3 as an excuse not to go. But I asked them to bring me food and shit and they did so was pretty cool..
>>
>>6474466
Who the fuck is this and how do you know my name?
>>
>>6474466
Which Dan?
>>
im gonna visit a psychologist soon
can i trust him with some matters, like furry porn
i don't want anyone finding out, ANYONE
>>
>>6476447
Technically you're supposed to trust him with everything but I don't think it's vital information
>>
ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddont die
>>
I've been invited to my friend's house to do Ketamine over the weekend. I haven't got anything planned and I haven't caught up with him in a while, but I'm a bitch with hardly any tolerance to toxins.
What do, Possum thread?
>>
>>6478459
go
worst case scenario you'll die so no big deal
>>
>video game industry is shit
>movie industry is shit
>music industry is shit
>every industry is shit

first, fuck capitalism, second, are books any good?
>>
>>6480122
>video game industry is shit
that's why you play indie games
>movie industry is shit
that's why you watch older movies
>music industry is shit
that's why you listen to non-mainstream shit like videogame soundtracks
>every industry is shit
ok
>are books any good?
if you have grandsons, sure
>>
>>6480122
>video game industry is shit
eh theres cool free games out

>movie industry is shit
youre not watching the right ones

>music industry is shit
really loud NO

>every industry is shit
are you some sort of commie?
>>
>>6480122
>video game industry is shit
yes
>movie industry is shit
no
>music industry is shit
maybe
>every industry is shit
i dont know
>are books any good?
can you repeat the question
>>
>>6480234
>>6480162
>>6480160
thanks for the (you)s :)
>>
>>6480281
piece of shit
>>
>>6480281
>>6480281
>>6480281
np>>6480281>>6480281
>>
>>6480122
Released this year:
Megadeth-Dystopia, Crobot-Welcome to Fat City, Testament-Brotherhood of the Snake, Metallica-Hardwired to Self Destruct, The Limits- Luxury Hobo, Magnum- Sacred Blood Divine Lies, D.R.I- But Wait, There's More!, Opeth, Sorceress, Sixx AM: Prayers for the Blessed, Anvil- Anvil is Anvil, and fucktons of other flawless albums by new and existing bands.
So there's music industry out of the question. I'd bring up the other categories but I think I'll just leave it with a few (You)s.
>>
>>6480281
not even me
>>
>>6481339
which one would you most recommend?
>>
>>6481780
Depends what tickles your fancy. I'd suggest giving pretty much every album I listed a shot, but to break it down;

Thrash Metal: Dystopia, Brotherhood of the Snake, But Wait, There's More!, Hardwired to Self Destruct

Other Metal: Sorceress, Anvil is Anvil, Prayers for the Blessed, Serenity of Suffering, Gore

Rock: Welcome to Fat City, Sacred Blood Divine Lies, Blackstar

Blues: Luxury Hobo, Battle Scars, Blues of Desperation, Dig in Deep, I Still Do

As much as I worship the 70s and 80s for the culture, it's impossible to deny that music is at it's peak, no matter what you're into. People who bitch about how there are "No more heroes" are nothing less than ignorant.
>>
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i cant find my earphones
why must life be such a struggle
>>
hi again depressed fucks general

some rando brought homemade baking for the staff at my job and before i ate it i made my coworker uncomfortable by saying "i hope there's cyanide and not jizz in this" and i really meant it
>>
anyway i've been listening to this lately, kind of feeling grungy queercore these days. any recommends?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKUIBL1vnHM
>>
im cold but too inept and poor to light the gas heater
cold is more fun anyways
>>
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>>6485252
you must be fun at parties
>>
i am not
>>
https://youtu.be/Wj765WYzLgQ
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRrS5XftkRY

the week is almost over and i did nothing. i feel guilty, even though i was on break. this song has been on repeat. once i start working again this upcoming week i will want to die.

maybe seasonal depression is real.

>>6485252
i've gotten to the point where i look at food and just go "if this is poisoned i won't be mad"
>>
also goodnight thread.
>>
>>6487976
>>6487993

Gnight bud, if the winter sad get to be too much you can always buy a sun lamp
>>
ftghfcvgb
>>
>>6489089
same
>tfw people you used to really like have devolved into cunts and it turns out that one guy all your other friends hate is the real good friend
>>
>>6478459
Welp, that was anticlimactic.
I didn't die (I know, woe to earth), but I didn't feel anything from the Ket at all. Me and my friend just ate pizza, chatted and played Skyrim for like an hour before falling asleep.
It wasn't awful or anything, but I feel that me dying would have been a better outcome.
>>
>>6448015
Was it a range rover ?
>>
>spend all day jerking off
>decide to take a break
>listen to Judas Priest
>realise Rob Halford's voice turns me on
>realise I have have massive hard-on
>go back to jerking off
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O_fJ5SSV_Vo
What are you doing with your weekend, Trashcats?
>>
>>6491153
No. Why a range rover?
>>
>>6492900
Same thing I do every other day. Work on stupid shit I'll never finish so I can convince myself I'm not just wasting my time doing literally nothing.
Except today I might also pick up some of this trash and clean my room a bit. Stepping on these little bits of whatever and having them get stuck to the bottom of my feet is pissing me off.
>>
>>6492900
Forcing myself to do all of my homework for the rest of the year so I can study for finals and not be worried about stupid group projects.
>>
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I haven't left the bed since I woke up
which was 9 hours ago
...
I have to pee
>>
>>6494141
Just piss your bed and clean it when you feel like getting up.
>>
>>6494141
bottle
>>
>>6439515
good lord possum benis is spooky
no more wanting trish futa
>>
>>6492900
got my hair cut
goin to the thrift store next
got to pack my bags because im headed back to uni tomorrow night
i was gonna dye my hair but i'm feeling less confident about it because i don't actually like my haircut that much but i was too much of a pussy to say anything to the barber, as is tradition
>>
>Be a mod on a website (Not 4chan)
>Reunite with a friend from the same website after not talking to eachother for like 3 years
>30 minutes later have to ban them for posting titties

I feel dirty.
>>
>>6475405
Sorry, I checked and I guess you're a different hermit Dan.
>>
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>>6495083
>didn't promote him
>didn't post titties along with him
>didn't risk a disposable position of authority for the impenetrable power of friendship
What kind of friend are you?
>>
>>
die
>>
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>>6495406
Ah, okay then. Good to know there are other Dans out there living the recluse life.
Not gonna lie, made the hairs on my neck stand on end seeing my hideous true name posted in these threads.
>>
i wish i could just die and be born again but better haha
i hate myself
>>
>when you want to talk to someone but you have no one
haha
ha
>>
>>6501343
i woudl talk but im about to go to bed and try not to think baout how im gonna fuck up my hair tomorrow

what's up
how are you doing
what's the last film you really liked and the last time you ate pizza
>>
>>6501515
eh
eh
i dont recall
a couple of weeks ago, im not really sure
>>
>>6501343
>>6501618
What did you want to talk about?
>>
>>6502014
i dont know
about how i hate myself for my body or how lonely i am or how everything irritates me
or maybe about videogames or dumb shit
i wasnt thinking something specific i was just crying over how i have nobody im close enough to talk to whenever i feel like talking
>>
>>6502070
Oh. Well, I probably can't really help you with any of that then.
If you wanted to talk about something in the thread, the only thing I could probably talk about is video games, but I'm not very good at holding conversations, and it's unlikely I play anything you do.
>>
>>6502070
If you really want to talk and get those issues off your chest, you better get comfortable blogposting.
You can start by telling us about yourself.
>>
wow, this really fucking sucks
>>
>>6502781
Such is life.
>>
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QAEWSDTUVIYBJONUKP7JMIL[8,;].\'/
BNM847520
,./L:JHVGBCFXDEZWSa zxwESCD
>>
>>6503483
same
>>
>>6503483

>wish that I could only be automated and disposable enough to only post gibberish

haha throw me in the garbage now
>>
"distance has no way of making love understandable"

/possum/ love yourselves, I <3 you
>>
>>6502470
my main issue isnt wanting to talk, its more the fact that i dont have a single person i trust enough that i can talk to
plus im too lazy and shy to blogpost
>>
>>6505171
You can trust us.
We're all quitters down here.
>>
Is it possible to die from ingesting a large amount [/spoiler]21[/spoiler] of sleeping pills?
>>
>>6505260
Depends, if you want to kill yourself then no.
If you just want to go to sleep, then yes.
>>
>>6505270
Well fuck me, there goes plan B.
>>
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>>6504695
I love you, too!
>>
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>>6506672
>>
>>6506687
fuck holidays
>>
>>6506687
ayyy
>>6506694
it's a good time to pretend you're happy though
>>
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>>6506850
Not easy to pretend when your entire family knows you hate them and you hate the season where you're forced against your will to endure 10 hours of depressing conversation with people you don't care about.
Nothing a good Fireball can't cure. Except liver failure. Which I stopped worrying about long ago.
>>
im gonna look like a retarded attention whore faggot with dyed hair

at least, my outside resembles my inside

>>6507553
tried fireball with some roommatess and i forgot i have esophagus problems so i sounded like a 70 year old smoker for the next two days

it was worth it though
>>
I learned today that being terrified of turning 30 is something that apparently only happens to women. I don't want to turn 30 without having accomplished something worthwhile (or at least be on track to pursuing my dreams) but apparently the best response people have to this fear is "GURL DON'T B SO HARD ON URSELF GUYS DON'T WORRY BOUT THAT SHIT YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER".

I'm a dude.
>>
>>6508354
If it's any consolation, once you hit 30 it just turns into a dread of becoming 35. I have to assume my anxiety will keep pushing the "ACCOMPLISHMENT" deadline back, because if I actually failed completely there'd be nothing left to hang over my head.
>>
>>6440517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uz4fFVpBqlE
The unplugged version is better to be honest mi familia.
>>
>>6508354
well quit having a bagina then, dude
>>
i think im dead
>>
>>6510097
woah, that's spooky
>>
>>6507994
dyed hair update: i picked too dark a dye and my hair looks exactly the same and my hair is covered in dye stains

lol

lol
>>
>>6510181
not literally
unfortunately
>>
>>6510097
Nah, you're just playing.
>>
>>6510193
my hands even
>>
>>6442250
shit fuck which characters smoked

i only remember clem being a smoker with 100% certainty
>>
>>6510394
All of them except Ashley I believe.
>>
I just somehow stopped myself from completely snapping at my friends after realizing that for the last few minutes I've been hurting them with my words and didn't get that far so it's still somehow salvageable

Can just someone give me a gun so that I can end it all?
I thought about just trying to burn the bridges with all of my friends so that I wouldn't hurt them further with my shit constantly. Hurting them badly once is still far better than continuously hurting them for a long period of time
>>
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>>6511605
When you reach rock bottom, the only way is up.
Apologise to them and try to change your ways. A little kindness goes a long way, especially with friends.
That, and I have no money to travel to America and/or buy a gun.
>>
>>6512088
I don't even live in America, I live in Slovakia
I just pretty much need a gun that takes 38 Special cartridges since I have a box full of that shit after my dad died 17 years ago
>>
>>6512212
Despite my abhorrent ignorance, I know that you can get cheap as free guns in America.
If I was in this situation, I'd sell the cartriges, get some weed, invite my friends around, and just talk it out.
Seriously though, Shit's not going to get better unless you make it happen. Give it some time if you need, but if you care about your friends, keep those bridges intact.
>>
die
>>
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fuck fuck fuck fuckjasdfsjkda

I was feelin okay early last week and then I went back to work over the weekend and I want to kill myself again

Everyone around me is making new friends, meeting people, moving forward in their careers, starting relationships. I'm here fuckin jacking off all day. When am I gonna catch a break.
>>
holy fuck, this was the shittiest thanksgiving break of my life

goddamn i just want this depression to go away
>>
a is for alcoholism, ADHD, and asinine behavior
>>
what's some good depressioncore music?
>>
>>6516415
fuck if I know. I remember listening to "the Antlers - hospice" at one point a few years ago when I wanted to feel like shit, and some of their other albums are alright.
I am currently listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haw11mlWMik on repeat, but I don't know if it'll have the same effect for you.
>>
>>6516415
try Have a Nice Life - Deathconsciousness
also maybe Radiohead - Kid A
a lot of /mu/baby stuff is good for feeling like shit
>>
Fuck
I am more angry than I have ever been in my life at the people I live with.
The only thing that can solve it is me getting a job asap, but I'm horrified of trying.
I know I just need to overcome my autismicality and go outside and do stuff but everyday I hide inside and shitpost my life away while I get poorer and poorer.
I'm so glad my parents don't know what a disgusting failure I am.
>>
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I feel like I'm legit cursed
Bad shit keeps constantly happening to me nonstop every day. Even multiple friends started saying that I'm definitely cursed

Broke my vape glass tank because my bag fell and a phone digitizer because bus stopped so suddenly that half of bus was flying on Thursday, camera on the same phone stopped working and not even week old headphones died on Friday and now my ipod has broken screen because when I was leaving the bus to school someone knocked it from my hand and it went flying to the pavement
>>
>>6518136
You probably just got some bad luck from something. Carry around a bunch of rabbit feet or horseshoes or something and it'll negate it. probably.
>>
>>6518170
Can the whole "caught bad luck" carry over multiple years? I have very constant streak of bad luck for good 10 years now at this point
>>
>>6518260
Maybe if you broke a mirror or pissed off some hippy who dabbles in black magic voodoo shit or something.
>>
>>6518419
Nah
Nothing like that
Friend told me that it's an universal balance bullshit like Ying yang
"The more good someone puts out into the world, the more bad they experience" and such

Don't know if I should believe that or not
>>
>>6518532
Would you say you put a lot of good "out into the world?"
You could try going onto /v/ and telling someone their favourite game is shit. Or go into the scat thread here on /trash/ and tell them their taste is shit. Put some "bad" into the world to try and negate whatever good you do.
>>
>>6518600
Well I always try to be nice if I can control myself unless shit like >>6511605 happens

I pretty much rip myself into multiple parts trying to satisfy everyone even when I'm completely burned out. I always help people if they need it and if I'm able to even when I dislike them

I really don't know how to be a bad person to be honest, not even when it comes to rping
I always think that being a dick to someone is going to come crawling back and bite me in the ass
>>
>>6518136

>Broke my vape glass tank


Stopped reading there lmao
>>
>>6518723
Being nice is apparently biting you in the ass too, so being a dick probably won't be much of a difference, as long as you act like a dick to people who won't care, like anonymous strangers.

I can't really think of anything else to add to this conversation, and I have to be up in five or six hours, so if I don't get to bed soon I'll feel like shit all day.
So goodnight, and good luck with whatever.
>>
>>6516821
Hospice was good stuff.
>>
>>6518741
Same.
First-world problems are not real problems.
>>
uioy890mjhn,./;khn,./ trge4zijolkmn'
haha
>>
>>6522142
What
>>
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>>6516415
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9VMfdG873E
>>
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>be Air Force
>get job in intel
>get to tech school but can't start class because no top secret clearance
>clearance never comes in, people who get paid a lot more than I do decide to reclass me
>turn in list of jobs I'd be interested in
>get job I'd never even consider: aircraft maintenance
>months go by, finish school and get sent to first base
>very slow to learn how to actually do job, constantly fuck up
>"Holy shit Anon, weren't you supposed to be intel? How can you not get it?"
>just recently found out my investigation for clearance is wrapping up
>still have to deal with the maintenance environment for a few more years
never has my confidence and self esteem been so low
I feel my mind rotting and my heart aching, it hurts

I've probably done something to deserve it, maybe years ago or in a past life or I don't know
>>
>>6512212
You can always just make a gun. It isn't rocket science.
>>
>>6523562
Think of it this way anon, once you get out you will be ridiculously qualified.
>>
>>6523616
I've thought of that.
Maybe I'll get out, maybe I'll join a three letter agency and maybe I'll get some decent money.

But in the end I'll still be a weird, lonely outcast who's bound to fuck up sooner or later.
>>
>>6523562
>be me
>be dumb as fuck and incapable of doing anything
>cant even understand what youre talking about
i dont know man your situation doesnt seem as bad
>>
>>6523690
imagine a nerd wanting to take an advanced math class or some shit at a nice school and then being told to take auto shop at a school in the bad side of town
>>
>>6523679
Looks like you already have the attitude of a fed. Good luck friend.

P.S. I will not let you shoot my doggo ATF
>>
I have no internet set up in my new house so after today I won't be able to browse until the 7th of December. I want to fucking die.
>>
>>6523562
Didn't you know? 99% of all intel/signal people are weird as fuck, nothing wrong with that, you'll be fine, by the end of your contract you'll be a pro without even knowing it.

Also, either way if you do or do not get out, make sure you have a plan, like, a real laid out plan, make sure you get accepted wherever it is you apply to prior to getting out, or get fucked over like i am right now. But that's another story.
>>
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>>6524683
Good luck out there, young Trashcat. Your legacy shall not be forgotten.
>>
>>6524987
I don't know what to do for fun. I don't have TV or Vidia right now, no internet and no friends around here. I guess I'll masturbate and sleep a lot.
>>
>>6525020
Get a radio, book or job. Whatever floats your boat.
>>
>>6525109
I'm hunting for a job, I hate radio but I could find a book. I used to read a lot but I haven't read a book in over 5 years now.
>>
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>>6525130
I just got my hands on pic related. It's perfect if you want an engaging, well-written sci-fi that manages to not take itself seriously. At all.
If you only have a day of internet, head over to eBay or Audible or whatever the cool kids use ASAP. It's totally worth it.
>>
>>6525240
I'll give it a look, any other recommendations? I'll read pretty much anything.
>>
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>>6525263
I'm not too familiar with books either. I mostly stick to biographies and magazines. Jam was the last thing I read that I actually enjoyed.
Although I ocassionally revisit Skulduggery Pleasant. It's a fun, edgy nostalgia trip.
>>
>>6525387
I god I remember that series. It was amazing when I was younger, I'll have to reread them sometime.

I've never read a biography in my life to be honest, not sure I could read about someone else's life but I should one day.
>>
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>>6525462
I get where you're coming from. Hardly any celebrities have lives engaging enough to fill up 250+ pages worth of "story".
Most comedians and musicians have endurable life stories though. Jimmy Page's was pretty cool.
>>
>>6525607
I can't name many famous people I like but now that you mention it my favourite are all comedians and musicians. They normally have some interesting stories but 250+ pages are hard to fill.
>>
>>6525462
I really loved the autobio of George Orwell, Down and Out in Paris and London. I guess it was ####relateable### to read about some broke-ass outcast living on the steets, fucking with rich people and just struggling not to give up.
>>
>>6525638
Yeah. Even then, a visit to Wikipedia and a few hours of searching for interviews should provide you with just as much context as a $20 life story.
But when your internet's gone, yet you still want to research your favourite artist, biographies suddenly don't seem like such a bad idea,do they?

Jeez, sometimes I sit back and come to terms with how much I take for granted.
>>
Alright I'm going to actually give some biographies a look because the more I see here the more it seems interesting. Thanks for the suggestions people.
>>
Does anyone here wear gloves? I'm thinking of getting some fingerless ones but I don't want to seem to edgy.
>>
>>6528246
they'll look great with your katana and trench coat
>>
>>6528601
I prefer hoodies and the only weapon I have is a slingshot lying around somewhere.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzymFn99PXA
>>
>>6439515
shit i didnt realise thing thing actually had a decent fanbase

>tfw your name is kyle
>tfw you can no longer feel cool when you post about obscure furry comic to your friends
>tfw no longer hipster
>>
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>>6440517
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4pivc8fzr4
>>
another fine day to die, how's the endless struggle fellow possums?
>>
>>6532780
i wonder how many people in these types of threads have actually killed themselves
>>
>>6532819
I've known several, i'm too much of a little bitch to do it, I just have to actively hope I die
>>
>furry shit
>>
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>>6528246
People won't call you edgy if you have an excuse. Only wear leather if it's cold as shit, don't bother with fingerless.
You could try pic related and make some bullshit excuse on how you have really sweaty palms or you work out or smt. Just get a sweatband with a conventional design and cut a big fuck-off hole in it to fit your thumb.
>>
i just accidentally came to the worst shit possible
i've been edging for 3 days straight and all is lost
kill me
>>
>>6532819
i might fucking kill myself lmao
>>
>>6528246
Only during late fall, winter, early spring and when I have to preform manual labour.

>>6533396
I know your pain. Always keep a tab with good porn open in case you slip up when watching some filler porn.
>>
>>6441746
>>6442581
Try different software, play with brushes, download tutorials from drawfag OP (https://mega.nz/#F!2RARFaLA!VTiQb6eRXfV4V6mYQ6FJTA), there is a whole world to discover!

Krita is free - but all the brush options feel awfully complicated and I'm too much of a lazybones to dedicate even a solid hour for Extvia's tutorial (http://tysontan.deviantart.com/art/Krita-Free-Painting-App-Tutorial-466497166). Which is a pity, because I have a tablet for two or three years and aside from a few lousy scribbles I sometimes use it as a mouse replacement "to get used to it".
>>
>>6528246
I wear thin black leather gloves for late autumn when it gets around 0°C, warmer gloves or mittens that transform into fingerless for below -10°C.

Fingerless gloves are pretty edgy thanks to the cool action movies, but I doubt anyone would call you out for classic (not overdesigned) brown or black leather ones, though.

Remember, it's rude to shake hands with gloves on!
>>
>>6528246
I wear black gloves from faux leather but not fingerless ones, mostly because they're padded with some sort of insulation and I wear those when it gets really cold

I should probably too get very thin fingerless gloves too for mildly cold weather though

During warm season, when I ride my bike, I wear construction gloves. I can afford some decent gloves but I just have a lot of construction gloves and I probably look ridiculous.

>>6533669
I don't think it's the software for me, I'm just having a lot of trouble wrapping my mind around pressure sensitivity and disconnect between screen and tablet. I find it very frustrating, infuriating even, to a degree when I'm ready to throw my pen and cry, and I'm a very calm person.

I've learned a couple of things though. First, for now I avoid brushes with pressure sensitivity, or even sometimes use mspaint instead of Krita. Second, I probably need a cheap anti-smudge glove. I keep instinctively switching to using my wrist because it sticks to the tablet surface and if I keep my wrist above the surface, my arm gets tired very fast. I probably need to exercise just to hold a pen, god I fucking hate myself.
>>
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Dan is my spirit animal.
>>
die
>>
>>6534882
I didn't like it
I didn't like a lot actually, I'm surprised some people like it
>>
College is a fucking scam.
Why do half the classes I'm required to take to get a piece of paper that says I know how to do some useless shit have nothing to do with the useless shit I signed up for? Why do I have to take three (3) fucking math classes, a goddamn business class, two composition classes, a biology class, a fucking Ethics class, etc, when I'm signed up for some retarded web development shit. What the fuck does biology have to do with web development?
If any of that garbage is important, they should teach it to you in fucking high school instead of what is basically optional schooling. The college is probably just making me take all that shit I'll just forget once I'm done so they can milk me for my delicious financial aid and put me in debt for fifty years.
I'll probably have to take that shitty online business class again, because the "teacher" is a retard cunt who doesn't seem to understand the fact that assignments are graded on a range, and not either "good enough" or "not good enough".

What the fuck is the point in being alive, to suffer? I don't really want to die, but being alive is a hassle.
>>
>>6536648
College is basically advanced school, it won't teach you much but don't dismiss it completely since it might give you a decent purview
What really sucks is how pricey it is and how important (not) is the paper you get in the end

Your best bet would be not stressing yourself much over biology it and putting effort in self-education in your free time
Try to ace your primary subjects and you might get it easier on "purview" crap
Also socialize, socialize a lot, make friends, get laid, because it's the last place on earth where you have an easy access to social groups
>>
>>6536768
>socialize, socialize a lot, make friends, get laid
bit late for that. I'm supposed to be on my last few semesters. I go to an extended campus thing anyway, and most of my fellow students are outside my age group or just annoying. Socializing has never been a thing I'm good at or cared about.
Acing my primary subjects is not a problem at all. They are trivial shit I can do in my sleep, and I basically spent an entire class doing literally nothing until the last day where I threw together a half assed php script that apparently the instructor didn't even know how to do. I already do self-education in my free time. I've learned just about nothing from the classes, because I know how to use google and taught myself everything they'll probably try to teach me years ago.
I don't usually stress myself out over it, and that's probably my issue. I don't care and put the minimal amount of effort into most of my classes. The only reason I'm so pissed off now is because I just discovered I might not pass the business class, and then have to take it again, probably due to my laziness and apathy. I'll stop caring eventually, probably by the end of the day even.
>>
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I'm gonna spend my birthday this year going to the weed doctor to get my MMJ recommendation. Then I'm hanging out with my only friend later on once she gets outta work. Maybe shit around Boston for a while or something, idk.
This is the first time in like 6 years I've done something on my birthday other than have my parents take me out to dinner.
>>
>>6537123
>bit late for that
That's too bad because I did not socialize either and now I really wish I fucking did that. But that's no the end of the world.

I've actually dropped out of uni on my fifth year for same reasons and had to study again for 4 years. Again, it didn't kill me, but turned out to be even a worse waste of time. That's probably one of the things that kickstarted my depression.
Just clench your teeth and put the required minimum effort because otherwise you'll just waste your own time. If you'll do it now, you won't have to worry about it later.
>>
>>6532819
I don't want to kill myself because I'm a coward. I just hope my body stops working before 30.
>>
>>6537243
I'll probably finish it. I want to drop out, but I probably won't because I'm terrified of what my mother would do or think of it. All I really have left is two or three more "purview" classes, and the rest is just more web dev shit that I can probably just sleep through and still get an A.
I'll probably get through it ok eventually, it's just an annoying hassle.
>>
>>6532819
I'm pretty bummed about my life but I'm not exactly suicidal
Death is the worst case scenario so I might as well try something else first
>>
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>>6442250
>>6442298

talentless delusional drawfag(????) reporting in

it's not abandoned

it's just glacial
>>
>>6537683
It's pretty sweet so far, keep it up
>>
I just found you guys in the trashcan, I've been to /trash/ multiple times, but I never knew there were people "living" here. After reading this thread, I've gotta say, I think I belong here.
>>
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>>6537972
Welcome to the mothership of garbage, make yourself comfy and enjoy your stay..
If you need to vent or talk about anything, don't be shy. We're all mostly on the same level.
>>
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>>6537972
Welcome to the club
>>
>>6537972
It's a shithole of depression and shattered dreams. A home away from home.

Actually that description is pretty much my house.
>>
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>>6538492
I'm new here.

Is this the right thread if I hate myself more than anyone else?
>>
i like this thread im gonna stay here
>>
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>>6537156
Happy birthday, man. Blow a bowl for us.
I've got two weeks until finals then I'm hauling ass out to Colorado to stock up for the winter.
>>
>>6540600
Ebin image
Go eat a dick
>>
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>>6541287
>don't tempt me faggot
>>
>>6541328
why are you greentexting
what is up with your filename
Holy fuck
>>
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>>6540815
Thanks my dude.
I'm so happy MA finally legalized but it's gonna be a while before any dispensaries start opening up.
>>
>>6537429
good way of thinking about it friend
>>
>>6541597
Never in a million years did I think the chronic would get legalized anywhere in America.
I can't wait for the day my state gets with the program, I don't drink so being able to go down to the corner store and pick up a quarter for the weekend or whatever would be a dream come true.
>>
>hanging with a pal
>pal of pal comes over for a LAN party
>she mentions she has a little bit of weed we can smoke
>figure a little bit means one bud since there's three of us
>it's actually more like a quarter of a roach
>it all burns up in about 30 seconds
>we don't even like her anyway
Wow.
>>
>>6528246
I wear fingerless gloves, but wool ones, and during cold weather. I get cold easily and often spend a lot of time on the computer or outside with my camera.
>>
>>6528246

wore fingerless after I dropped out of hightschool

cringiest time of my life, maybe others remedy that but even post '90's it wasn't cool, even if my local dealer wore them for smoking

cellphone gloves that are made for cellphones are much more popular
>>
>>6528246
My dad actually wears a set of fingerless gloves that are specially made to help with his arthritis. That's why he wears them. I think they look pretty cool.
I'm pretty sure that's the only excuse you can use to wear something like that, though.
>>
>>6543417
Did you fuck her?
>>
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What if Lauren browses these threads as well the whole time?
Doesn't she browse /co/?
>>
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progress update

i procrastinated super hard and i spent an agonizing amount of time trying to figure out the legs
>>
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>>6543945
/trash/ is pretty decently hidden, what with not having an official link or anything. And then if you actually make it to the catalog, there are pages and pages of furry porn.
I'm pretty sure she doesn't come here. And if she did come here, she would already know what to expect well in advance.

People don't just stumble into a thread on /trash/ by accident. You waded through a lot of hot steaming garbage to come here.
>>
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last abysmal drawfag update for now

i gotta hit the hay
>>
>>6544197
>People don't stumble into a thread on /trash/ by accident
thats what youd think
heh
>>
>>6545085
Nice job, man. Have a good night.
>>
I can't tell if feeling sick and having nausea constantly indicates either another health problem or that I'm just super stressed out
>>
>>6545085
you're thinking of your dawings as 2D
don't do that
>>
>>6543945
What does she do now anyway? Where can I follow her stuff? She hasn't posted anything to her twitter/tumblr in months as far as I've seen.
>>
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>>6540600
>>
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>>6440517
https://youtu.be/kaNZbUENKjk

I’m a worker baby, not telling lies
Heard you’re holding on, got something in my eyes

Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no

Never call me lazy, cause I’m on time
Helps to turn me on when you cover up your prize

Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no

I need fire, baby, I need light
Always make it home but you hustle every night

Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
Oh no
>>
What the fuck
Today was suppose to be the day I got shit done
I got finals, exams, essays
I didn't even know you could sleep for 14 hours straight
haha I hate myself
>>
>>6543923
No, girls are gross.
>>
>>6545545
worse than that, i'm aware of the fact but can't escape my drawings being 2D

i spent a miserable amount of time trying to fathom the left leg and i'm still not satisfied with it
>>
>>6548491
My depression kicked in last year, around winter break. I found it easier to sleep for extended periods of time. I remember my best streak being 30 hours straight, almost missing Christmas day.
>>
Why haven't you guys killed yourselves yet?

I tried to a few years ago and it didn't end up working.
>>
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what are these threads about
>>
>>6548794
self deprecation and opossums
>>
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>>6548776
Because I'm still a young free spirit, filled with life and mettle.
Sarcasm aside, I'm honestly just a lazy cunt who can't be bothered to find a viable, mess-free method. That and I want to get rid of as much contact with my family as possible before I do.
>>6548794
Just depressed bros being depressed bros. Also Possums.
>>
>>6548776
>I tried to a few years ago and it didn't end up working.
fuck man what did you try
>>
>>6548649
draw a box
loomis
???
profit
>>
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>>6548794
TRASHCATS!
>>
>>6548649
Try using 3D shapes when drawing gesture/construction, e.g. draw cylinders or prolonged boxes for limbs and hatch one of the sides

>>6548794
Self-pity
>>
we are in autosage and have littered too many glass bottles and cigarettes at these bleachers
>>6550409
>>6550409
>>6550409
move bleachers
>>
>>6548794
I'm just here to get my dick wet

my heartdick
Thread posts: 302
Thread images: 72


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