/sug/ Steven Universe General - The Trials of Dating a Space

>>5927019
Jasper is fat

>>5927032
http://youtu.be/1Gnznm2Xia8

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STUPID FUCKING BLUE RAPIST NEEEEEERD

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As requested

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memez

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>>5927052
and pearl's reaction

>>5927056
beotifuul

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>>5927032
wouldnt stop me in the slightest on getting snu sniu

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dicks

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>>5927045
kill yourself

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>>5927032
*fit

>>5927052
aaaawww
>>5927070
yissss, thank you anon!

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>>5927075
DICKS

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This personality test, you know, that one.
>https://www.16personalities.com/
Been recently posted here. I've been thinking about it and realized they are missing a feature.
Since you get a %age in each "dimension" of their character model you don't have to rely on what they ultimately end up labeling you as, especially when it's a close call. There's a simple mathematical way to extract much more information than they provide.
We have 4 categories
I vs E
N vs S
T vs F
J vs P.
It's assumed that each character can be sufficiently described by the 16 archetypes resulting from taking 1 of each category. Each of these forms basically a possible kind of character. In this sense, each actual human personality would be a point in a 16 dimensional space. In terms of linear algebra, this means that each personality would be a so-called vector in a "vector space" which consists of each imaginable superposition of these states.
However, that's not all: Each pair is assumed to NOT correlate with any other in a meaningful way. That is why they provide percentages for each pair individually. Such a case where you can classify different vectors in such independent components is called a "direct product space". What that means becomes pretty simple when looking at an example.

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>>5927032
Jasper is CUTE

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BALDING

>>5927052
>>5927070
This is great. I don't recognize your artstyle; do you have a blog?

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I want Pearl to father my children!

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>>5927103

Let's say you did the test with the following results:

100% I, 0% E
40% N, 60% S
100% T, 0% S
30% J, 70% P

Ignoring that result being unlikely, the test result would label you ISTP. But does that make sense? Do you *really* trust that 40-60 Split? I mean +-10% might as well depend more on your breakfast this morning than on some deep, profound hidden mechanism in your psyche. So let's look at the combinations a little more closely:

You're 100% I and T, so we only look at all combinations I_T_ for now.
INTJ INTP ISTJ ISTP
Let's interpret the percentages as the odds that you will react in a given situation like either pair. What are the odds of you acting ISTP?
Well. 100% x 60% x 100% x 70% = 42%.
not much. Doing that with ALL possible personalities gives you the following:

42% ISTP + 28% INSP + 18% ISTJ + 12% I NTJ = 100% You.

Hence the name "direct product space": by multiplying the %ages of the independent pairs you get the %age of the total archetype.

Now it becomes rather apparent that you're not "just" ISTP, but dominantly a mix of ISTP and INSP. Just by adding one more component you went from a measly 42% accuracy to an astonishing 70%! Isn't that neat.

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>>5927113

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CREWNIVERSE HALLOWEEN ART WHEN

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>>5927114
I forgot where it's from, sadly I can't provide you source. Tineye should work though.
>>5927096
you're very welcome

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JASPER THE JOBBER

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>>5927139
>Air humping Sapphire
I'm calling the police.

>>5927114
That's Brideake's/Orangekisses' art, not by anon

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I am going to succ on Pearl's tiddies

>>5927150
CL has a whole comic where lapis is attracted to the smell of Jasper's pungent BBQ smelling pussy, ditching Steven

>>5927149
Oh, ok.

>>5927157
Thanks

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>>5927179
What tiddies? She's flat as a board and the idea of shapeshifting any would disgust her. The idea of you sucking on them would absolutely repulse her.

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>The Trials of Dating a Space Rock Edition
Greg is going to die of a heart attack and it's his own fault for marrying a space rock.

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>>5927150
i feel bad for anyone that has to job against two children and an ugly bucket of lard with a yoyo

>>5927205
Jasper has a helmet not a yoyo

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>>5927181
Let's keep her limited to just Homeworld gems okay?

>>5927019
Someone post the "Connie makes a man out of Steven" fic

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>>5927197
But think of the scandal!

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>>5927202

>>5927202
aw I've never seen this one

>>5927197
Excuse you anon but she like any other female has tiddies no matter how small

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>>5927103
>>5927131

so yeah that was my autism for the day.

>>5927233
Adderall?

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post lapis cosplayer feet

>>5927211
that would make sense as a joke if any character had jobbed against stevonnie and jasper

>>5927226
Did baby Steven succ on those?

>>5927231
Except she's not "like any other female" because she's an space rock that doesn't have an actual sex. She has no reason to have tiddies since she will never have any children she will need to feed. Her chest is just her "shirt" and always be.

>>5927243
if that jasper cosplay was a bit beefier it'd be perfect

>>5927251
>not Garnet

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>>5927237
nah, but I was actually thinking about him once I noticed that I wrote too many characters to fit in a single post.

If a Gem was broken into four pieces, would it shatter?

>Connie and Steven get married
>Connie always feels like she's committing a crime when she starts feeling up Steven's boipucci
>Just fuses
>Stevonnie cucks Lars instead

Good end. Nobody likes Lars.

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>>5927243
>jaspers face

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>>5927314
>If a gem was broken would it be broken?

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>>5927284
>tfw most jasper cosplayers are either petite or fat
it's not fair

>>5927314
It would be incredibly destabilizing.

>>5927349
Then start introducing more female body builders to Steven Universe.

>>5927349
The fuck do you want, anon? A m2f former bodybuilder with a busted Bose?

>>5927354
You're a big gem.

>>5927394
Phoneposting is funposting

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>>5927354
>Gems getting turned on by being destabilized
Why aren't we funding this?

>Jasper is the perfect crossplay
How do you feel about that?

>>5927434
I'm not tumblr so so completely indifferent.

>>5927434
Seriously.

>Get buff
>Paint yourself orange
>Fulfil (and fill full) a qt Lapis' headcanon

>>5927394
There was a dude who cosplayed Jasper that I though was pretty good.

I'd be down with Ronda rousey too.

>>5927454
>Implying any lapisfag's ship Jaspis
Sorry, but that's a jasperfag thing.

>>5927434
what is crossplay

>>5927473
half of the jaspisfag artists on tumblr are bigger lapisfags than jasperfags

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>>5927394
i just want a buff girl to cosplay jasper

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>>5927473
>Sorry, but that's a jasperfag thing.

Hate to break it to you, but...

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>>5927476
nvm google was there for me when you weren't

>>5927476
Cosplay crossdressing. It's for overly masculine men to dress up as cute magical girls.

Like big nigga Madoka. Which I can't find offhand, but I assure you was pretty great.

>>5927402
U U
U U

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>>5927516
even better

>>5927496
i just want a buff girl

>>5927516
That better not fucking be who I think it is.

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>>5927488
>tfw you've seen Jasperfags on here not minding Jaspis or Jaspernet/her components

Press X for [Concern]

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>>5927516
to be fair it's almost a no brainer when you realize it's a portmanteau consisting of "crossdressing" and "cosplay"

>>5927516
Why is there a floating circle near their arm?

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lappy flappy blippity wibblewopalopalowbowwippitywingwanghoppitydingdarndiddleydankarooneyoopitygaschmoopityflingflappinallaroundtownwiththatbigolnutsacklikeasippitybingbangarangbyskrillexwiththeboopitybopbambowwowpowerhourallaroundtheclocknonstoploser

>>5927496
Cool. There's like 400 of those on the planet. 137 of those are passable cute while also beefy.

One of those likes Steven Universe.

Zero of those are Jasperfags.

>>5927548
>post yfw you see sapphirefags okay with sapphire being fucked by Jasper

>>5927541
Could stefania ferrario pull it off?

>>5927541
i just want a girl

>>5927568
You've gone too far this time, khan.

There's no way he's doing that.

>>5927576
there was one really buff lifter chick that watched steven universe and tried to cosplay as jasper but she didn't put a lot of effort into it so it looked like shit

>>5927118
This is a big deal, Rose shifted a working womb, could a gem form functioning testes and sperm to impregnate a human

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>>5927536
i like this one

>>5927606
he asked for a challenge last time


lets see if hes got what it takes to be kool kid

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>>5927568
w i b b l e w o p a l o p a l o w b o w w i p p i t y w i n g w a n g h o p p i t y d i n g d a r n d i d d l e y d a n k a r o o n e y o o p i t y g a s c h m o o p i t y f l i n g f l a p p i n a l l a r o u n d t o w n w i t h t h a t b i g o l n u t s a c k l i k e a s i p p i t y b i n g b a n g a r a n g b y s k r i l l e x w i t h t h e b o o p i t y b o p b a m b o w w o w p o w e r h o u r a l l a r o u n d t h e c l o c k n o n s t o p l o s e r

Love you, Khan <3

>>5927576
>only 400 buff girls on the planet
what

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>>5927583
>tfw it won't stop piquing my interests
>I don't even like it but it's gotten progressively more and more intriguing

Call help.

>>5927244
Amethyst Jobber against Jasper so the show could finally shill Stevonnie, at least Jasper didn't actually go down to smoky and only got poofed after corruption weakened her

>>5927617
Assumedly yes, however it would extremely painful for both parties as the gem is forcefully pulled with the sperm through the shaft of the cock to plant itself inside the womb of said woman.

>>5927576
I can't believe there's only 400 attractive women on the planet

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>>5927635
o sHIT

>>5927655
ovipositor

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>>5927631
I remember that stream

>>5927635
Holy shit

>>5927627
I stand corrected

>>5927563
It's the eye of sauron coming to smash that boypucci

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>>5927653
Embrace it, make it your own

>>5927646
Jasper tier buff?

Like 7 feet tall 230 pounds built like a brick shithouse buff? Yes.

poel?

>>5927670
>>5927655
That's only of the gem is to be passed, presumably non hybrid children can be made

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>>5927691
No.

>>5927700
looks like he finally done gone and did the do

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>>5927673
>Steven May Cry series
>May Cry
>May

>>5927716
Third times the charm.

>>5927700
>>5927716
This world needs fewer Pearlfags

>>5927711
>she can just float up
>size difference is flipped on its head
S'perfect

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>>5927576
wasn't there a buff femanon who browsed /sug/?i can't remember if it was on /co/ or here tho

>>5927699
Jasper tier-buff isn't necessary for a good Jasper cosplay, as long as the person isn't fat or rail thin it'd look fine.

>>5927716
I had the read this 3 times

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>>5927431
>ywn get shocked so hard your body explodes

>>5927748
Anon. The top TEN recorded tallest women in the WORLD has FIVE women who top 7 feet.

400 is not conservative at all.

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>>5927786
>black Olimar

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>>5927579
that's adorable.

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>>5927747
But then pic related happens.

>>5927786
>It's a "Pearl acts like a conceited bitch about everything that isn't gem-related" episode

>>5927761
They don't even need to be sculpted. Strong-fat is perfect.

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>>5927548
>>5927548
Alone at Sea was supposed to make me hate Jaspis but it made me ship it instead

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>>5927786
>Olimar

I will find whoever made this.

>>5927790
since when does height have anything to do with how buff a person can be considered

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>>5927813
Ian and Rebecca know their whole story and they still find it plenty good whackering fuel

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>>5927786
olimar's a nigger..

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>>5927837

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>>5927813
Jasper's such a fucking retard, it's great.

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>>5927786
Why change his color? For what fucking purpose?

>>5927871
And thus, my hitlist was born.

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lapiven

>>5927912
Start from the top.

>>5927905
diversity

>>5927805
To be fair though, she is kind of an Earthaboo. She is obsessed with knight/samuraii culture folded over 1000 times.

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>>5927914
AIN'T CANON NO MORE, SON,

>>5927841
>Thinking Jasper is only buff.

I'm sorry, but my suspension of disbelief falls apart when I walk up to a supposedly big girl and the top of her head stops at my shoulder.

>>5927786
And yet no one is talking about how Pearls face is caved in or that Connies nose spans across her whole fucking forehead

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>>5927914
who will Lapis' next quartz rape victim be

In fanfiction, I don't have to follow any internally consistent sort of logic?

>>5927914
Every time I see this all I can think of is Calvin and Hobbes.

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>>5927918
Got it, but who will pay me?

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>>5927928
Then why not make a new fucking character? It makes no sense to try and bank on the nostalgia just to change the main character.

>>5927945
Sure, if you want to write a shitty diamond dozen fan fiction that people will dismiss of having any literary merit.

Connie is for ________

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>>5927930

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>>5927944
Probably some fat kid

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>>5927944
amethyst

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>>5927944
She'll fuse with Connie next in Gem Harvest according to the leaks.
>>5927974
waiting a fews, then fug

>>5927974
kill

>>5927905
lawyers

>>5927929
Yknow... I wonder if gem reforging is a thing. Repair is shown doable by rose because plot, but like... What about creating a 'permanent' garnet by melting down Ruby and Sapphire in enough heat?

>Garnet knows she was once two but doesn't understand how anymore
>Her gem is tiny and only slightly colored, more burnt
>Emotionally nothing
>BUILT for murder

>>5927983
kys

>>5927974
Shitting fields and meat hooks

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>>5927983
kill yourself

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>>5927995
ok

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Is Steven for sexual in your country?

>>5928007
Steven is for sexual everywhere, just don't get caught.

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>>5927995
>>5928001
topkek

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>>5928007
Idk, hes an alien so laws don't count right?

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>>5928007
Yes, but I'm not into shota/loli so it doesn't even matter.
>>5928017
Kek

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>>5927957
it's just tumblr's way
it's useless to try to stop it
>black human pearl
>black human rose
>everyone is black because apparently white and black are the only existing races

>>5928027
>hes an alien
No

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>>5927930
spread love not shipfights

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>>5928007
What if you live in the Central African Republic?

>>5928007
>Tunesia is the only civilized nation on Earth
O-Okay.

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>>5928045
sixteen and under

>>5928027
He was born in this country. He is not an alien.

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>>5928081
>He's not an alien

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>>5928073
I want Lapis to throat-rape Peridot.

>>5928066
Ahahahahaha!

>Betray humanity to the gem incursion
>Surprisingly, the diamonds uphold their bargain

You are granted a gem servant of your choosing. Though exceedingly powerful gems being considered nobles are off the table. You can still get a Lapis reject if you want.

What do you choose? I'll start.

A Ruby to constantly keep both hands on my dick at all times, ensuring healthy blood flow.

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>>5928089
Then Peridot will finally shut up for once. good thinking anon

>>5928066
>Most civilized
>Is shit brown on the map

Really makes you think

>>5928100
Just a Pearl because they're already used to be slaves.

>>5928081
Steven was born in Kenya. He is not a US citizen.

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when is the next anti-bullying video supposed to be released

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>>5928100
They didn't kill Sapphire did they?

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>>5928110
Lol, jk

>>5928136
Dead as fug

>>5928100
White Diamond so I can just fucking kill everything and take all the gems I want.

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>>5928100
An Amethyst, we'd be bros.

>>5928081
Wait. Gems are just pressurized rock...

So... Steven was at the very least conceived on foreign soil!

You go, Greg. USA wins again.

>>5928100
A Lapis with a throat gem. Need I say more?

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>>5928149
The deal is off, i'm going back to before it happened.

>>5928134
probably tomorrow since the first one came out last friday

>>5928160
You get killed for being an illiterate piece of shit. Better luck next time.

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>>5928180
Motherfucker you are going nowhere!

>>5928100
I take a Bismuth so I can have her make a super-robot mech powered by dead rebel gem shards

>>5928170
Except the only two kindergartens we know of are both in the US so no.

>>5928182
Today is Thursday and the video came out last Saturday, not Friday.

>>5928185
This was exactly what I wanted

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>>5928134
>faster-rock-tiddy
>faster

>>5928207
>>5928182

Today is *Friday damn it

>>5928206
Rose was made on homeworks, anon.

which gem is the lewdest?

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>>5928200
>Wants to actually save people
>Josuke would kick his ass before he could
The role reversal bruh

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>>5928227
Centi

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>>5928227
Jon.

>>5928226
>Just another Quartz soldier, made right here in the dirt.
Okay, anon

>>5927938
Connie's nose has always been that disgusting, it's probably the only correct thing in this image aside from Pearl rightly calling her books only as interesting as gem toilets.

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>>5927914
Good shit, my dood
>>5927946
i think its based on it desu

>>5928100
I would take jasper and fuse with her forever

>>5928227
Rose is the only gem to canonically fuck anyone.

If you count fusion as sex, then Garnet.

>>5928226
>homeworks

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>>5928240
The only right answer.

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>>5928227
malachite

>>5928255
You fail to fuse because you're just a human and your Jasper kills you for being a weakling because of this.

>>5928244
diamonds

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>>5928255
Are you a hybrid? Where's your gem, little man?

Which SU character is this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc

>>5928284
Steven

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>>5928284
Sapphire.

>>5928284
None

>>5928284
none that's johnny cash dude

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>>5928227
Peridot just feels so exposed and weak without her enhancers, you could get comfy with her anywhere.

>>5927959

...you mean 'dime a dozen', right?

>>5928312
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otsSiSZei-s

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>>5928027

>>5928284
actually thats the funny thing there mister for you see there mister that that is infact not an steven universe character but is rather it is the singer johny cash right there thats who that is mister dont worry we all make mistakes sometimes

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>>5928100
I'm gonna fuck it.

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It feels like you no longer love me /SUG/ why?

>>5928325
I've never wanted to punch somebody in the dick more than I do with you right now.

>>5928312
>fucking an autist
>not fucking an emo
>not fucking a fatass amazonian

>>5928335
because you stopped being spooky 100 threads ago and now you are just dumb

>>5928335
>no longer

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>>5928100

A Pearl (or a couple more if they're feeling generous), I have too many things that just can't carry around.

But then I'd stab the Diamonds in the back and give the location of the Gem Homeworld to these things.

>>5928307
Oh, yeah. How'd I miss that?

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>>5928335
You are too angsty

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>>5928033
look at this fucking garbage jesus
there's like 4 different thumbnails reuploaded to tumblr

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>>5928335
You didn't use your pissbending on me

So I have a question.

Do you think it'd be appropriate for Stevonnie to die in the finale, possibly with Steven losing his saliva glands and Connie losing an eye?

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>>5928335
I still love you Lapis

>>5928356
nobody cares indexer

>>5928372
Crawling in my skin.
These wounds, they will not heal.

>>5928356

Holy shit a tumblr artist who draws Pearl as white.

>>5928100
a girly quartz who will be my bff and i can go shopping with

>>5928372
Switch glands for his gem, then you're golden.

>>5928372
How would Stevonnie dying do that

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>>5928375
http://youtu.be/2FZtck7O8iQ

>>5928335
You started getting written by Zuke AKA The Woman Who Has No Idea How To Draw Lapis' Hair

>>5928339
I'd fuck Lapis sure, but Jasper has a body builder build, I'm not into that.

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>>5928335
>>5928375
>>5928394

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Why does everyone draw Amy as a fucking fat-ass when shes actually a buff short person.

>>5928372
Steven gets pregnant and gives birth to Connies baby, but both him and the baby (named Stevonnie) die as its a miscarriage

>>5928392

Pike in the mouth, knife through the eye.

Stevonnie would 'die' if her head was removed or horridly damaged, right?

She's still part human...

>>5928422
Because the show doesn't really make a very clear distinction between the two when it comes to her and she's constantly eating large quantities of garbage, both figuratively and literally.

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>>5928331
kill yourself

where can I expand dong without shit art

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>>5928351
kill yourself

>>5928398
To be fair nobody seems to know how to draw Lapis' hair.

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>>5928342
Do any of you find me spooky anymore maybe I shouldn't do this anymore. Am I no longer spooky?

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>>5928445
/trash/sug/

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...

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>>5928456

>>5928456
Obviously somebody has to know how to draw Lapis' hair in order for people to draw it incorrectly. If there wasn't a set standard then they would all be correct.

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>>5928398
>implying it's just her hair

>>5928237
I still don't think Araki has any idea how to handle powerlevels.

>Star Platinum is supposed to move at lightspeed
>Can't move in time to deal with killer Queen's handbomb.

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>>5928445
nowhere

>>5928478
Diamond is Unbreakable is a trash arc anyway. I can't believe people actually fell for the meme that it's any good.

>>5928445
Lapis' basement.

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>>5928478
Pic related is pretty much my agreement and showing off Araki's worst mistake.
Giving the power of a broken stand to a arrogant dumbass.

>>5928464
the only spook about you were the eyes and even then it makes me want to throat fuck you now

>>5928480

Who should Jasper be with if not Lapis?

>>5928456
it's basically just pearl's hair with bangs...

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What's under dat fukken veil /sug/?

>>5928505
Now anon, you know that's a loaded question.

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>>5928464
You are no longer spooky, but you could find new material, be spooky again.

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>>5928505
me

>>5928477
hot damn that's not even close

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>>5928510

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>>5928510
´>No legs
>Just a massive fucking dick bulge

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>>5928510
Bob's baseball bat collection.

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>>5928505
Amethyst, as a sisterly figure

>>5928528
kys

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>>5928510
This.

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>>5928478
>Sliver Cariot is FASTER then light
>can pruge is armor to go even faster
>gains AFTER IMAGES WITH MASS
>can shot sword
Can any gem beat Pearl with Silver Chariot
>>5928499
Yeah, its not about the stand, its about the user.
Jotaro is a dumbass for not training and letting his stats fall

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>>5928505
>>5928511
Yeah.

>>5928346

What the FUCK is that?

>But then I'd stab the Diamonds in the back and give the location of the Gem Homeworld to these things.

How in the hell would those things be a threat to the Homeworld?

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>>5928505
Next best thing

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>>5928514
I don't understand

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>>5928514
y tho

>>5928544
Better question would be how would Homeworld be a threat to anybody with technology beyond stone tools? Because it seems like all they know how to do is pick on planets that have barely developed intelligent life and run off with their tails between their legs when they get opposed by anything greater.

>>5928536
>"Look at all of these eyeballs!"
>"I'm going to fuck every last one of them!"

>>5928556
Yellow Pearl shoved Steven and the crystal gems up her asshole

>>5928556
Good

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>>5928505
Greg

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>>5928540
Jotaro sucks as a character as well.
I mean every other Joestar had some kind of good back story or development.

I swear Polnareff was more developed than Jotaro was in all his appearances through out the series.

>Part 3's True Jojo: Polnareff or Kakyoin

>>5928574
It takes a special kind of retard to believe this, or even just type it.

>>5928536
this bitch has the eyes on the inside, her frenzy meter must be bananas

>>5928565
because if they were at all competent our 14 year old protag would be dead by now

>>5928514
>they reform
>Yellow Pearl gets poofed
>YD now has no backup

TERRIBLE Diamond.

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>>5928580
>Posted wrong ship
fuck

i like steven universe, anyone here likes it too?

>>5928611
No

>>5928611
Where do you think you are?

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>>5928593
>what is digestion

>>5928565
Why do people think guns can actually destroy their fucking ships?
Gems MAYBE, if they can give us a clear cut durability for the gems, but since that changes based on PLOT, i doubt it.

Humanity doesn't have the power to fire off lasers or supernovas yet so even someone as dumb as homeworld can wreck them as long as they don't set ground.

>>5928611
Yes

>>5928605
Why can't Greg can fuck Jasper AND Lapis

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>>5928611
No, fuck off

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>>5928510

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>>5928580
>>5928605
It's too late.

It's canon now.

>>5928544
>He never played Starfox: Assault.

But then again, that's probably a good thing.

And to answer your question, the Aparoids are essentially Star Trek's Borg in an insectoid package.

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>>5928629

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>>5928581
Yeah, I've always refer to part 3 as PolPols Bizarre Aventure
The only reason Jotaro has more screen time is due to DIO's World being such a long part
>>5928611
Nah dude, this is the Jojo thread

>>5928611
It's shit but I've already invested too much into it to not stick around and see how it ends

>>5928632
I hated the Sauria mission.

>>5928586
The insight tho, imagine

Willem would be proud

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>>5927447
Forgot artist but here

>>5928623
You know that we've advanced past guns, right? Just thought I'd bring you out of the 19th century there.

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>>5928605
ye

>>5928622
>Digesting rocks

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>>5928639
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK77U7ACc8I
>The arc would literally be cut down by 10-20 minutes if it was real-time
That's the funny part.

>>5928669
nigga why would she eat them if she couldn't digest them?
you dongus

>>5928683
Because she was ordered to by her diamond. It's not really that hard to figure out.