/vent/ thread part two Vent any frustrations or whatever into

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>current contract job doesn't end for another month
>mother already on my ass, telling me that I need to start job searching now

fucking hell

I can't wait until I've got enough money saved up to move the fuck out

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I'm looking at everything around me, and what I got.

I'm successful, I have money and busted my ass and all of that; I've got good friends-but I missed out on alot of shit, teenage years being just work and early adult years looking like more work; and no bf, but I don't care; can't miss what you never had.

Then I see all of these people getting hand-outs and how the super rich and their offspring get to do so much with their life, all because of the vagina they popped out of.

It's not even that I'm some alt-right guy, I'm in the "race" status, but even then I get stiffed because I'm not the right "race"

So, I'm working part-time as a web developer and full-time on top of vocational school. Doing all this menial shit, coming from nothing and having no one helping me-I'm just pissed, that's all.

>>11198193
I'm in the same boat, just waiting for family drama to get sorted out before I move out-I have the resources but don't want to just leave my little brothers in such a toxic environment.

You're not alone anon.

I've had to pee for like an hour, but I'm too comfy to get up.
It's really frustrating.

>>11198299
kek

My sex drive is dying and for the first time in my life, multiple people are making themselves available to me.

fucking hell

>>11198220
Please, Trump got to where he is on his own
Only with a small loan of $1000'000


jokes aside, I feel your fucking pain so god damn hard, meritocracy my fucking ass.
I live in Australia where it would be cheaper to buy a house in California, but no, the government assures me that house prices aren't high, it's just because I'm a lazy fuck, because of course their children can afford the house they don't pay for.

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>>11199802
kek, what an achievement

The amount of disconnect and bootlicking is sickening, among government officials and all those fuckers living life on easy mode. They could literally make a small investment, shuffle one of their millions and they can get $50,000 a year.

That's probably more than you make going to work almost every day, in a few hours of shuffling money they inherited or simply sat on.

I don't want to sound preachy with advice, but it's impossible to get anywhere close to comfortable by yourself today, make some good friends, and bunk with them. Living alone sounds fine but believe me, living with people who are actually kind of cool is both relieving on the wallet and the mind.

Best of luck austrailiabro, here's to hoping that shit gets better.

>>11199243
Dude, get laid
slay some pussy (or boipussy)

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>27
>degree collecting dust
>retail job, tolerable, like my coworkers, but just spinning my financial wheels
>don't enjoy/get sucked into vidja nearly as much as I used to
>joints beginning to hurt from years of vidja and poor posture
>teeth hurt because I neglected them when I was NEET and didn't give a fuck about myself
>terrified of getting older and losing my libido
>buying stupid shit online doesn't fill the void
>have a few dreams, but zero drive to move towards them
>jerked it too hard or something the other night, small part of split skin reopens every time I get hard and stings and makes fapping much harder

Could be much worse, but still doesn't feel good.

>>11202707
I can understand why all of that doesn't feel so good, especially having no drive, and a dead-end job (also having your dick be fucc)

what's your degree? And what were some of those dreams you still got? Alot of stuff today can be learned for free (and you can get employable certificates from it too!)

>>11202867
>what's your degree?
Computer science.

> And what were some of those dreams you still got?
1) drawing smut. I get way too anxious to practice
2) I'd like to homestead. Growing/hunting my own food, setting up low maintenance food forests, having a dog to tag along with me on the morning chores. But to do that I'd need a semi decent income to support it, and land, which is fucking expensive

>>11203094
Alot of portfolio building goes into that, I can understand why that's just sitting there, godspeed in that department.

http://drawabox.com/
I shill this every once in a while, doing the practices like drawing basic shapes and all of that are fundemental in basics

For the anxiety, all I can say is that we all suck massive balls at first; just try to get in as much as you can and build off there, I'm sure that it'll go somewhere in due time.

Look into finding some other people interested in that, maybe set something up with them; that sounds kickass in all honesty (I've been growing blueberries, rhubarb, tomatos and potatoes in my backyard, healthy and low maintance.)

good luck whatever you do anon, it's always nice to hear others aspirations.

>>11202707
are you me?

I am rapidly becoming an alcoholic

I'm a recluse neet and I have no clue how to orient myself in the world. I literally do nothing but fuck about on 4chan. I've been pacing for 2-3 hours straight every night talking to myself for the past several days and it's taking its toll on me.

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>>11205807
Get off of 4chan, mom.

>>11198108
yeah okay, i've never posted in one of these threads before but i don't come here that often either. so why not. i guess there is one thing that i am generally upset about.

there are a whole fuckton of people that throw their potential away just because they can't be bothered. i've had multiple friends in the past that once let go of their mothers' hands - as in go to university or move out in general - just cannot fucking tell how to live responsibly. at best they don't know what they want to do later in life so they have no goals to pursue, at worst they become "muh weed" type of people. then of course they complain about how their lives turned to shit, but god fucking damnit i was not the only one telling them that they're gonna get fucked this way. several people go to university and don't even try to accomodate themselves to how much one has to study. they accept that they won't be able to finish harder courses with the amount to time they spend studying - or even paying attention during lectures - and their conslusion isn't to study more but to fuck it all. jesus christ i got so mad just typing this out.

now, i'm an optimistic/ambitious person, a bit naiive to but its for the best i think, so i still think that i can help the situation. i've been publishing some writings (in an interactive web app format) on how university is and what one should be aiming for, and i've applied to be part of the menthor program at our university that manages newcomers' first year ot so. i'm also gonna be joning the student council to see how things are there. i'm honestly hoping that i can change maybe 50 people per year that way, but i'm expecting that the next thing i'm gonna be mad about is how little others in my future position care and how helpless i will be to deal with the problem alone

>>11199802
Let's be real, though. In terms of business and government, 1 million dollars IS a small loan. One of my friends built his business from the ground up through hard work, and he's probably worth that.

Not that it isn't much to the individual. But it burns my butt that people who waste millions on ineffective social projects and the people who support that are suddenly asspained about a private business loan. We've got city councils that simply "lost" amounts like 5 million or 30 million euro's. When you look at it on the governmental level, over the course of a few years, national governments waste so much money that they could have picked a small town, or a neighbourhood, and just given everyone a cool million.

Or they could have built new homes, so the fucking market wouldn't be so fucked up and living expenses not so damn high. But that's the classic problem with people: They generalize their own experiences to others.

>>11206359
You're basically describing me, so here's how it worked for me:

First off, following ambitions takes a lot more conviction than you think. And while you say people should have some sort of goal, you also strike me as the sort of person who would tell you to "be realistic". I listened to that advice, and didn't do things I wanted to do. I made what I thought was a smart choice, and it wasn't.

Secondly, it's only our generation that knows this. I'm fairly old, so I got nothing but babyboomer logic in my youth. "Just get your degree and you'll be alright". So I did. My mistake was always listening to others who I considered authorative. I also think universities don't care. They treat majors like products, and just want to get as many people in as possible. If you just do what you like, or what you're good at, it's perfectly possible to start doing something and to later realize it's not a good fit for you. Or it's a discipline that only employs two people a year.

Frankly, I should have gone into some sort of vocational training. I think that would work for a lot of people like this. Going to university was great for the experience, and the friends I met, but in terms of employability, it did almost nothing for me.

Also, I have assburgers. That also really impacted the way I went about things.

But really, all the wise-ass voices pointing at random things and saying "that will ruin your life" never helped anyone. You get that shit everywhere. If I'd trained to become a plumber, my parents would have told me that shit every single day. If you want to help these people succeed, help them keep their eyes on their end goal (or help them formulate one) and take steps to work on that. Say, someone is studying to be an accountant, tell them to get a job at some sort of financial form. Keep them active.

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>>11206359
Nobody cares man. People don't start acting like college NEETs because they're man children from the get go and just need a guiding figure. A lot of people go to college because they are forced to go because of their family or parents. They don't have any personal ambition to be there other than to get their 4 year piece of "congratulations good job" paper to make their parents stop bothering them. The people that actually want to work hard at college are the ones who had a plan before going and aren't going because they were forced to go. A lot of people turn to partying and drinking in college because college is stressful as fuck and if you don't want to be there in the first place then of course your going to spend your time actually having fun. Most of college now is just an overpriced daycare center for 18+ kids. Also, lets be real, only a handful of degrees actually are worth getting so propping kids up to pursue a bullshit degree is only going to hit them harder when they leave college and realize the real world couldn't give a shit less about their degree.

One last thing. Stop getting so upset over the "failure" of others. The fact that your getting so worked up about this is just sad. You seem full of anger at something that all in all is mostly out of your control. Save yourself a heart attack and stop trying to stick your nose in other people's lives. It sounds to me like you have a messiah complex. I'd honestly say you need to take sometime away from work and see a therapist if this really bothers you so badly. Hope for the best.

People around me are freaking out because of a hurricane and it's kinda funny

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>>11206426
>expecting governments or corporations to think morally and with a conscience

>>11206674
is it a hurricane or is it a "tropical storm"

hurricanes will fuck your shit up

tropical storms will just knock a couple powerlines over

people overreact to weather because its one of the few things out of their control now in days

>>11198108
Whenever I see these threads I want to participate but then I see posts here that would make me feel petty for even posting such minor first world problems in the same thread.

>>11206701
just post it anyway. most of this shit seems to be people posting about first world problem career and college stuff

>>11206676
That's not the point at all, numbnuts. The point is that stupid people or people who support stupid people suddenly come with a shitty "argument" that applies to themselves or the people they support ten times over.

>>11206630
You'll do well in a "useless degree" if you actually put the work in while pursuing it. The entire idea of a "useless degree" is being taken for a ride, I feel. Sure, there are a few politically motivated majors that are nothing more than echo boxes for people who want to feel that their shitty opinions are relevant beyond their immediate environment. But by the same right you see people declare anything that isn't STEM a "useless degree". Or simply degrees that aren't in demand in the job market.

Most of the time I hear it, the idea of the "useless degree" goes back to baby boomer logic that getting a "useful degree" means automatic entry to the upper middle class job market. Which is bullshit.

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>>11206701
Post whatever you want dude, threads open to anything from "My neighbor is using my garbage can he needs to pay for his own fucking services" to "Hey my mom just got run over by a street sweeper after an alchoholic binge."
My personal flavour is more middling, relationship stuff, mental nonsense, and whatnot.

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>>11207424
No, there are plenty of "useless degrees" that don't seem obvious at first. Its not that the information their learning is useless but rather that students are being kept in the dark about how many employees we really need in certain fields. There are a lot of STEM degrees I would consider not useless but rather highly impractical because the STEM field is over flooded with people from universities. The STEM field doesn't need millions of people knocking on their doors looking for a 6 figure job. Its just not going to happen. Also, useless degrees are also linked to keeping students in the shadows about whether they'll need to have enough money to pursue higher education. A lot of 4 year degrees now don't pay back unless you pour more money into extra licensing, certification, graduate school, or PHD programs.

Its just that the lie of getting a 4 year degree and having a decent life isn't the norm anymore. Almost everyone has a college degree now and the more people that get educated the less special your skill set becomes along with the expansion of the global market competing with you for lower wages.

College isn't the golden ticket that its being made out to be and if you can't 100% guaranteed to get a sick paying job out of college then your taking a huge gamble

no dying

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>>11209141
we all die eventually little bird

>>11198108
I want to garotte every faggot that ever posted a feel thread

Fuck normies

>>11211215
>feels thread
>too autistic to comprehend emotions
>ARRRGGGGGG ANGRY!

I'm the skunk cake anon from the last thread. Today my parents threw me a surprise party and invited a lot of their friends. I didn't really know many people there to start with but I warmed up to a lot of them. They even got me another cake!

>>11198108
Fuck I wish I could just be into sex and interacting with other people like normies. My life will be forever stunted. Even though society wants me to fuck, and I want to fuck, if I managed to get into bed with someone I would have a panic attack the second he inserted me. I will never be a normal person

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So anons I've always had really intensely vivid dreams. Last night I had a dream that I transformed into a weird animalistic female creature. I fought for dominance amongst a tribe on planet that had great sand dunes and grass plains. It was beautiful but I had to fight to keep my sanity among the world that constantly wanted to fight for the toughest amongst the tribe. It ended with me retransforming back into my human form and sending my spirit back into my mind. I felt deeply moved by how connected I felt with this character from another world. I was saddened that I might never experience that presence again. I've had transformation dreams happen a couple times. Each time they were very intense experiences but this was the first time I felt emotionally connected to the creature I transformed into.

What does this dream mean anons?

Have you ever had a dream that left you emotional wrecked or exhausted?

>>11211640
are you gay or female anon?

either way there plenty of people willing to over look a lot of your issues just to fuck you. I can guarantee it

I'm obsessed with someone

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>Everybody keeps telling me to stick with a job but there is literally no permanent work
>Every time I think I have a stable position I get laid off
>Gas prices have exploded along with my insurance
>My apartments rent takes up most of my budget each month
>There are literally days I live off ramen noodles because my savings are running out
>My $50,000 in student loans aren't helping
>My plans to buy a house and get married are pretty much indefinitely on hold
>Only luxury I really have is the internet and even that is starting to become too costly
>Even if I got a full time job working minimum wage I wouldn't be able to cover my bills
>I owe money to almost all my family members and can't repay it so they are all pissed at me
>Everybody calls me lazy but I legitimately am out looking for work every day of the week and submitted online applications on weekends

And the most frustrating part of all

>There are plenty of jobs available, just too far to commute each day but I can't afford to move

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I don't know what's going on in my head half the time, just that it usually feels kinda shit. Anyways.
My week or so of being generally content or even happy, kind of uh, stopped.
And now it's being balanced out by moderately heavy depression for no discernable reason other than yinyang cosmic hoopla whatever-ness.
I wish I talked to my boyfriend more but he hasn't really messaged me himself for quite a while, and I'm just, not good at talking and terrible at starting it myself.
I'm still really confused about what I want and what it means. I'm probably overthinking it but, it feels like it's more than what it says on the tin.
Has anyone here been told they weren't supposed to like.. happen?
My mother told me, ages ago, that she wasn't supposed to be able to even have a kid. She spun it as some sort of miracle.
The diagnosis wasn't really wrong, but, I happened anyways.
It's a really weird feeling, because it's not like I was an accident or a mistake, I wasn't unplanned for, or, I guess I was technically, but just that I shouldn't really exist in the first place.
I think about that more than I probably should.
My memory is almost completely shot, long term and short term.
I can't remember a lot of important things, like birthdays, ages, names, what people look and sound like, for example. I can't remember much of anything from when I was younger, and what I do remember is usually bad.
I can't really think of anything else right now, but I know there's more. I guess that's another problem by itself.

Some guy posted that picture of a cat being lit on fire in a thread today ruined my fucking day. I know someone will probably jokingly reply to this with the same fucking image, so fuck you too in advance. Spent an hour sobbing about it, whatever, I'm a pussy, but at least I have a heart. I've seen a lot of shit on this internet, but never have I been so close to abandoning this site as today. For those of you who can take my wussy-ass rant and not ridicule me for it, thanks. I can take a lot of horrible things the internet shows me, but that was too much. I hope the guy that actually did it in real life gets the most painful cancer imaginable.
I consider myself a simple guy, so I understand if you all feel me to be making a big deal of nothing. I just felt like I needed to get it off of my chest, because if I told anyone about it they'd be wondering what the fuck kind of sites I've been visiting.

>>11212848
me too
how deep does yours go?
I literally bought a plush that reminds me of them and sleep with it every night pretending it's their body I'm holding in my arms

>>11207514
Yes, negro. That's my point.

In my country, it's gotten to the point where becoming a doctor is a "useless degree". Fucking insane. I just wish the universities and government would take responsibility, but they're all content to point the finger at 18 year olds listening to baby boomer advice and say it's their responsibility to know.

>>11211700
Dreams don't mean shit.

But yes, once I dreamed I met the devil. For some reason I was on Antarctica, chasing a runaway dog (straight out of The Thing) and stumbled into a sculpture gallery. It was full of sculptures that... shouldn't be. Literally impossible to look at and understand. Turns out I went into the devil's domain. After that, I got back home and some random guy on the street looked at me, and I KNEW he was the devil.

Scared the crap out of me, to be honest. Messed me up for a week or so.

And then there was the time I dreamt I was a young woman, and a serial killer was leaving the corpses of little girls in my living room, and the killer turned out to be my daughter, who I'd given up for adoption. Weird shit.

the better the dreams the worse the day

>>11211640
If you don't like sex you might be Asexual. Nothing wrong with that

Every day my self loathing and loathing for others due to vore fetishism intensifies two fold. These are some of the most vile, evil, irredeemable scum beings in the world who constantly go "mrrr child murder hawt ;3" and it makes me so fucking mad and scared that these people are the default for the fetish. But I also hate that I myself have a variation of this cursed mental illness, so it just keeps going and going, getting worse with me desperately digging in deeper to find something with merit, only to end up dying in a ditch that cannot be climbed out of.

This, along with the more pressing facts that the world is just going to shit, makes me want to just end it all. I can't do fucking anything to make the world better or make myself happy, all that is for me is pain and suffering.

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>>11198254
its not uncommon mates. family always stab you in the back the hardest
>work ending
>getting bonus big enough to move
>suddenly family out the woodwork begging for money
>using lil sis as leverage to stop me leaving shitsville

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I spend my days worrying about being the "Perfect Citizen" knowing full well it will mean nothing because people will always judge me based on what a couple of fucking psychopaths do. I'd might as well meet their expectations

>>11211700
I tend to forget what my dreams are about (unless they're about zombies, my adrenaline makes me remember), but I always remember the architecture. So abstract and odd and yet beautiful, I wish I could draw just so I could give my ideas to the world.

I do remember the end of one dream where I became lucid at the end. I was laying in the back of the van with my friends that I had just had this amazing adventure with, I suppose we were going home. I told them I wasn't going to make it, that I was going to wake up soon. They seemed disappointed, but understood. I asked the guy in the passenger seat in front of me what his favorite color was. He said purple. I waved my hand and turned the sky a sea of vivid lavenders, they seemed pretty fascinated until it was over. Wish I knew how to make those happen more often.

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>>11219232
No anon, i understand. I love animals and have raised a lot of them. Animal abuse is one of the sickest and most depraved things I can think of. Your literally bullying a less form to death. Thats about as spineless and cold-blooded as it gets until you get to crimes against humanity. Just remember anon that abusing animals is a signal that that person has deep set sociopathy, they genuinely cannot feel for others including animals.


i've seen a lot of fucked up shit on the internet but one of the most fucked up things I remember watching was "Earthlings". Its a free documentary thats close to 2 hours of animals abuse videos with music from Moby and narrated by Joaquin Phoenix. I watched the whole thing becuase I hated myself and tried to scare off the aliens I thought were observing me through my eyes (mental illness/drug use).

I still regret watching that shit. I bawled for a long long time.

Try not to let it get to you anon. The world can be a fucked up place but thats why I strive to treat my pets even better because of psychopaths like that

>>11219232
I'll take a pussy over an apathetic doormat anyday. At least you actually react to it instead of rolling over and going "lol whatever nothing matters let me bend over for u"

>>11219232
Feel you dude, saw that same image, but my reaction was null. I seen too much shit in this place for anything like that to really even effect me anymore. Or anything else really. Just kinda dead to the world nowadays.

Enjoy having emotions, I guess

donk

>>11224083
>>11223691
>>11223633
Thanks, you guys. Like I said, I've seen a lot of shit on the internet. But this is really the first time something has really gotten to me, the first time I really wish I could delete a memory from my brain. I'll never forget it, and that's what bothers me.

I absolutely adore cats and dogs, and honestly found it hard to believe that image was real, that someone could actually do that. But it happens. The best thing is probably just to continue being as kind as possible to all of the animals I see.

When I'm out walking, I try to befriend the outdoor cats I see. Sometimes they come up, sometimes they run away, but that's ok. I still try to let them know they can trust me. When I see something like that, where the human clearly has gained the trust of an animal, only to abuse them in the most horrific way, it makes my heart sink and my anger grow. But I know that that's only a small percentage of people.

Funny thing is, I've seen dead bodies posted here and there, and have never been phased. I guess it was seeing the actual event from start to finish that pushed me over the edge.

Again, I know to some I'll sound like some pussy hippie by talking about this in such detail, but it feels good to let it out. Thanks for responding, I deeply appreciate it.

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>>11225756
no problem anon

>sound like some pussy hippie
dude having emotions doesn't make you a pussy or a hippie

as evil as 4chan can be at times, its delt out some pretty dope justice to cat or animal abusers from time to time.

>I've seen dead bodies posted.......never been phased

I feel like thats part of being a human. Humans don't really have much sympathy for each other because of tribalism and knowing were capable of good and evil aka we only care about those close to us and who we have tight relationships with. Honestly, probably the main reason humans are such fucked up animals to begin with. Its also what makes us so angry to see animal abuse. We know the animal is purely innocent where as humans tend to be less so.

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>wanted to ask something in that self-improvement thread that popped up
>tfw it's gone now
Welp.

>>11225878
>>11225756
>Humans don't really have much sympathy for each other because of tribalism
I don't know if that's a constant. I can't stand seeing people in pain or distress. Specially vulnerable ones. Violent news about explosions, people being raped and beat up, deaths due to illness, terrorist attacks and other horrible things leave a bad taste in my mouth. I've seen many "Missing" signs of old people lately and they broke my fucking heart. I'll admit I know what you mean and animal abuse is just at another level, it fucking destroys me and I know exactly how you feel, but I don't think being unfazed at human suffering is completely normal... Or maybe I'm the one who's the pussy here, I don't know.

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>>11226369

No, I am fazed by it, I think just my overwhelming sense of cynicism and nihilism has made me feel less personal about it. I think I just accept that most of the bad shit that happens to my fellow human beings half a world away is out of my hands since I don't have billions of dollars to do anything about it.

I don't excuse the awful treatment of other humans but at the same time, humans treat each other like shit a lot. Maybe its just because I live in Burgerland where people have very little interest in helping each other unless theres something they can gain monetarily.

Either way I am dead inside and seeing pictures of dead people or hearing about it on the news is not making it any better.

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>>11226526
I wanted to say a bunch of bullshit comparing animal and human suffering according to stuff you said but I was trying to hard and all just seemed to be about myself and looked like it aimed to make you feel worse so i'll just say that I understand what you mean and arguing the degree of it is completely useless. Empathy for others, wether animals or people is completely natural, don't feel weak or bad for having it, bear it the best you can and do everything in your hands to not let it happen, even if it's just telling others about it. Don't feel so bad Spongeanon.

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>>11226974
thank you anon for the awesome discussion

I can't help it. Sponge is my spirit animal

>>11220105
>some random guy on the street looked at me, and I KNEW he was the devil.
I read somewhere that you can only dream about people you've seen before - if you see a face in your dreams you haven't just made it up
Do with that information what you will.
>>11220019
I'd ask for a picture of this plush but that's probably too personal
Whenever I go to bed or have nothing else to do I just whisper his name over and over again. I want to tell him how I feel but I'm scared of what he'll do

i hummed a cool original song on the way to work today and i forgot how it went

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>>11227183
Heh, nah, a plush isn't personal unless you know the significance of it, here.

If he doesn't know how you truly feel, just tell him, the worst he can do is say no. But believe me, no matter what happens, stay friends with him, because although he may not want you as a lover, he'll want you as a friend he can rely on.

>>11230285
I'm buying my friend a big plushie, and I hope he thinks of me when he hugs it. It's of Chibiusa from Sailor Moon. $70, but worth every cent

>>11227183
I've remembered faces from dreams, and they were people I hadn't ever met. People say a lot of unfounded shit about dreams. People have always attached mystical significance to them. And it's true that dreams aren't totally random, but they're pretty close.

My dreams tend to be pretty off the wall. On a good night, I get a complete story. Plot, characters, everything.

>>11231335
>I hope he thinks of me when he hugs it
lewd

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>>11231335
Heh, how nice of you.
My guy'd probably just refuse any gifts I'd give him, commissions or otherwise.
Ironically enough though, he accepted my gifts of the heart, too bad he rejected my love of the heart, haha.

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Before my menial thing in the next post, advice for others.
For those with minor depression, an overall "extended feel-down", or lack of motivation for no reason, here's my advice: fix your physical health. Your body and mind are intertwined, and one will affect the other.
Here are 3 easy tips.
>you do not drink enough water
Hydration and salt is very important for blood flow, to keep your energy up. Drink enough to make your urine clear. There is nothing good in soda, plus the sugar dehydrates you.
>you do not eat enough veggies
Vitamins and fiber(!) are two things nobody gets enough of. Carrots have little taste and good texture, to start.
>you do not go outside enough
Get some vitamin D, and maybe some exercise. I worked as a lifeguard over the summer, and I found myself more motivated to do ongoing projects (coding, art, music) after being bored and outside for a couple hours.

My last piece of advice is to stop taking in so much information. Your attention and focus is a daily allowance, and after spending significant time on Youtube, 4chan, or whatever, there is no focus left to be motivated. Being bored at my job made me more motivated to do my hobbies. It sounds counterproductive, but it works from my experience.

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>>11235112
>my menial thing in the next post
I saw this picture the other day, and I am horrified at the extent it describes me.
The point on life tasks does not apply. The point on life trajectory does not apply for things I am interested in.
I am introverted and focused on my personal studies, which my EE degree coincides.
I am passive towards the things I have less interest in, and that causes me to be quiet and concise around other people. I don't care about she said, your music is compositionally boring and lyrically uninspired, watching sports is boring. Science? I can drop whatever you want to know about audio synthesis, the quanta that makes up our world, and the celestial objects flying around at millions of km/h, only relative. Only my closest friend of 4 has an interest in listening, though little of it is his interest. I have nobody who's level of skill and field interest intersects my interest in math, music, or physical science to have a high level conversation.
I met a woman on the train, and the conversation somehow evolved into holding hands and sleeping on each other. She goes to my college. I don't wish to persue her, and I don't know why. Engineering classes have few women. I might be a faggot.
The picture looks similar to me.
I walk too fast.

Hate

>>11235628
ouch, this fucking got me

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>>11235628
T-too fucking real man, make it stop!

I have a brand new gaming PC, and I can finally run good games. But this thing has had problems since day one. First the RAM was fucked, had to send it back in, and now I've had it back for a while, but I've had two random shutdowns while watching something on YouTube. And I have no idea what's going on. Nothing on the internet is remotely helpful. It's not pulling too much power, or getting overheated. I haven't had a shutdown while gaming.

All I know is that I can't trust a very expensive piece of hardware that, by all rights, shouldn't be outperformed in reliability by my dirty, old, loud previous PC that has run without issues for literal fucking years.

Jesus Christ, I fucking hate this. Now I'm going to have to be paranoid about my internet history and everything, because before I know it it'll enter another state of permanent shutdown, and it has to go back to the shop. Again. And it's going to cost me money. Again.

I can't cook. I'm afraid of messing up if I use a stove or anything like that, so most of my food is either toast or take-out. I feel ashamed because I'm 21 and old enough to know better, but if I don't get constant tips so I know what I'm doing is exactly how it's supposed to be then I'll go into panic mode.
Anyone else in the same boat?

>>11240638
Not really, but start off small, man. Don't try and make extravagant turkey dinners or anything. Cook something simple, with a good set of directions. Something that you can't really fuck up so badly that you'll burn the house down.
My recommendation would be to buy a cake mix and just make that. Incredibly simple, you just mix it and cook it, you can't fuck it up.
I understand where you're coming from. Cooking anything I haven't made before always scares the fuck out of me. When I started making chicken, I was always nervous as fuck that it would be underdone. But now, I kinda know what to look for. It just takes time and practice.

>>11240638
>exactly how it's supposed to be
Definitely not in the same boat. Cooking is far from brain surgery, and getting the details wrong won't ruin a meal.
It's almost magic. Just cut chicken breast in small/medium sized chunks to cook throughout, throw it in a stirfry pan, cook on the stovetop and stir. Slimey red blobs turn into the white meat you know and love. Cut a chunk open to make sure it actually cooked.
Then there's a little science to it. Maybe add some olive oil before cooking the chicken. Maybe throw in some chopped peppers, onions, broccoli. Maybe throw each thing in a different times to cook differently. Experiment, succeed, fail, learn, and grow in confidence. You can do it.
Recipes also lay out the preparation and steps to cook things. There's no shame in following a book or online recipes.

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>most of my online friends hate me
>the ones that don't hate me don't respect me
>irl friends are normies
>not motivated to do much of anything anymore
>delay simple tasks to great lengths
>haven't improved in art/music in months
>can't get a job because no ride + school
>haven't been depressed until yesterday night
>parents are meth heads
>parental drama means I get moved from house to house every month
>hoping the Air Force will be my salvation
>planning to move to San Antonio (closest Air Force base to Louisiana) since I have family there that also works in the Air Force
>hoping I never see my parents again
>too broke to build the computer rig I wanted
>parts rotting in a box

This blows lads.

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>>11241092

>>11241122
wow that anon can get fucked.
depressionbro, work towards something better, air force, whatever, i guarantee you, if you fucking keep going you can find something better. there is a light at the end of the tunnel it's just that sometimes ... well, I'll make my post....

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literally every time i try to make or do anything i just get shit on, so i now have grown to hate all the tools i used to love playing with

meanwhile, everyone else produces random trash and gets nothing but praise for it, but i so much as try, and its nothing but abuse in response

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>>11241302
To continue...
>greentext is TL;DR

I'm working really hard, not making a lot of money but enough to get by, which is more than I've ever made in my entire life. For a little over the past year and a half I have been sorting my life out but just recently it's taken a turn that has completely shot me down and potentially set me back years again.
>bait and switch happened

I want to rent a house, alone, because i am sick of people's bullshit. I'm working so hard to get over my personal problems and everyone else is just (metaphorically) writhing around in the mud trying to drag me in saying "it's fine, it's clean!" when it really fucking isn't. and I'm being dragged down by thier false promises and lies and bullshit, like they're splashing me with mud just because I'm close by.
>people are fucked so I just want to live alone because the people in my life and home life are fucking me up more


I need to stay in this area for work and all the houses around here are about £500/month.
I have worked so hard to get where I am right now, some aspects of my job are fucking horrible. I'm still in shit but I thought I had a way out, but it's only turned into a dead end.

Because nobody told me if a house costs £500 rent per month, then all estate agents are going to want you to be making three times that. (£1500 per month).

If I had fucking known this I would not have made the life choices I have made YEARS ago, WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE KNOW THIS OR TELL ME THIS!?!? I could have gone back to school and learned a better trade to make more money but now it's too late and I'm too fucked up and desperate and hating life so I just want out NOW, I can't wait untill I've got a better income.

>I CAN AFFORD THE FUCKING RENT ON A £500 PER MONTH HOUSE BUT NO ONE WILL RENT TO ME BECAUSE I AM NOT MAKING THREE TIMES THAT AMOUNT (£1500). FUCK THIS BULLSHIT.

I have missed out on three houses because of this bullshit. the light at the end of the tunnel is very far away now

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>>11241481
and the problem is I've been too patient, I could have been out three times already in the last month if they would just fucking rent to me. I'm not an idiot, I can budget and things would be tight but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be able to pay the rent. I've never missed a month!
Just for fucks sake, RENT TO ME YOU FUCKWITS, I AM AN AMAZING TENANT.

I NEED TO ESCAPE THIS GULAG NOW BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR IT. If I have to quit my job, find a new one which makes more money or increase my current job income that will take months, which will push the light at the end of the tunnel an unbearably long distance away.

>>11220105
DREAMS MEAN EVERYTHING. They are metaphors for your life, when you figure it out, what the metaphor was, it hits you like a truck.

When I was with a violent and abusive girlfriend, I dreamt I was driving in a car with her, and she gave a child in the back seat a worn old axe. It was a metaphor, saying that if I stayed with her, she would pass on her anger problems to our potential future children.


>Dreams are your subconscious talking to your conscious, through metaphors, and your subconscious is smarter than your conscious.

>>11241688
>DREAMS MEAN EVERYTHING.
all dreams are is random shit happening in your brain as it processes the day's memories

dreams will reflect what youve done lately but if you need some kind of ~dream interpreter~ to do basic introspection you're a huge faggot

>>11198108

May as well vent.

I used to love /co/. Once upon a time, /co/ was love, but now /co/ is only hate.

I remember getting sucked into Gravity Falls and I was a regular fixture in /GFG/ right through to the goddamn end, and coming out of that after about four years was like stepping out of a time machine. When the show was just starting, nobody bitched about mods, nobody gave a shit about "SJW", hell, believe it or not, there were threads about when are we going to get gay characters? People actually WANTED that kind of thing at one point. Nobody cared about women doing whatever and it all seemed okay. And since the show finished, I saw the entire board had gone to hell.

Now /co/ will take just about any opportunity it can to bitch about any kind of diversity as if it were some cancerous growth that needs cutting out, the entire board seemed to retroactively turn on Gravity Falls because of a female lead, the mods delete shit without warning, oversight or consistent logic, no lewd stuff is allowed at all and we somehow ended up with a fucking maniac going by the name "kaziklu" going round and being the single greatest fuckface I have ever had the displeasure of sharing a board with.

So yeah, sucks, man. /trash/ is my home board now because that place turned into a dumpster fire.

>>11205880
just go outside, learn basic human interactions and how to sort of, be more present in situations, like don't even worry about how to orinet yourself, look out into the world at other people, not so much at yourself then just respond honestly, if you met someone weird you can tell people they're being weird in a nice way. nothing happens :)

kill all gamers

all gamers must hang

>>11241092
>>most of my online friends hate me
>>the ones that don't hate me don't respect me

Then you can't really call them friends can you?

>irl friends are normies

Least you have irl friends. Me? None, neither have the time nor want to put in the effort to maintaining meaningful friendships

>not motivated to do much of anything anymore
>delay simple tasks to great lengths

If it makes you miserable then stop procrastinating. Its not hard, just get off your ass, once you get started you may find you may not want to stop.

>haven't improved in art/music in months

Have you been practicing at all in months? If not then theres your problem!

>can't get a job because no ride + school

Buy a bike or take public transit

>parents are meth heads
>parental drama means I get moved from house to house every month

Got nothing, seems you already have a plan

>too broke to build the computer rig I wanted
>parts rotting in a box

Garbage Pick or Try goodwills and salvation armies

You'd be surprised what people donate or throw away, I've built more than one gaming rig for under $100. Sure it won't play games in 4k or at 1080p but who gives a shit if it can run the games at all, still better than getting a ps4

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every time i write a post i intend to be helpful, that's positive and offers advice, or maybe even isn't that positive but is still constructive criticism, i then delete it and just troll instead because literally every time I've tried to produce anything of merit ever, it's been shit on endlessly

one of my favorite passtimes is to dig up old vitrolic trash that was spewed at me in the past, and to just repost it at others. no one ever had my back, so they must have been right, and that sort of shitposting is exactly what online communities want

>>11241560
>>11241481
m8 move in with roommates or find an already existing room share or something

>>11242092
dude, just fucking do it. take criticism but realize that other people's opinions are not necessarily true, don't take them so seriously. realise they are isolated and have no bearing on reality.

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>>11242124
you may have to read the long version of my post. roomates are who are currently dragging me down. I've been living in shared houses for years, I'm fucking sick of it. I just want to be alone now- and that's the kicker, I could be, but fucking estate agents have put up this ridiculous barrier.

>>11242249
>roomates are who are currently dragging me down.
oh i thought you were talkin bout your parents being methheads or something

get different roommates then. a different room share.
>I've been living in shared houses for years, I'm fucking sick of it.
install a door so you have your own space to jack off in

how old are you even?

>>11242249
You used pounds in your post. Where in England are you from? I might be able to work something out

>>11242268
late 20s
don't make so many assumptions about my situation :) I have a door and a lock and not enough space and horrible shouting screaming neighbours and depression and personal problems and I left my shitty angry, abusive girlfriend I'd always fight with, only to end up living with another girl who has exactly the same personal problems and anger issues but doesn't suck my dick and now I'm fucking stuck despite making enough money to pay the rent on the houses I want/need to live in because of estate agent policies.

And I get why they do this but it's excluding me, a good tenant, right when I really needed this out.

>>11242279
thanks fellow britanon, but it doesn't matter, I really need to stay in this one neighbourhood for work otherwise it's too costly to travel. kinda reluctant to say, rather remain anonymous.

>>11242441
Good luck anon

>>11242001
Screencapping in case I forget, thanks man.

>>11242441
>has a room with a door
look m8 no matter where you live you'll have to occasionally deal with the sounds of neighbors beating their wives. it's just a fact of life

>>11242215
hahahahahahhah yeah because the people on the other side of the screen totally arent real, right, theyre all just bots or something

like i said, that sort of shitposting is exactly what online communities want
>tripfaggot or someone else clearly identifiable gets mad at me
>have an argument, whatever
>next time they post, post what they said towards me, just straight copy-pasted out of archives
>they start arguing with their own post that i copy-pasted
works every fucking time. it even works irl. I can parrot anything someone has said to me in the past and they'll still call me stupid and a moron for believing that thing. People I've known for longer hate that I play "devil's advocate" but it's not even that, it's just hilarious how what people actually believe will trigger themselves

I used to think that it's just something up with my own opinions and activities but it's overwhelmingly clear that no matter what I do, it'll be met with cries that I'm trash and am just trolling etc, so I may as well fulfill that prophecy to the fuckin' fullest

>>11240638
To add to this - I also don't like wasting cutlery on things like cakes and butter and stuff. I like to get the most out of each thing.

>>11247176
>wasting cutlery
You can just wash them though? Unless you live in a place that has no running water, I don't see why this would be an issue.

>>11247894
I just feel like it's a waste if I use them once and then wash them up. I don't know, I'm such an aspie.

>>11198108
>too weak to do 3 pushups
>dont want to exercise because too lazy
>cant run very far because lungs tell me to fuck off
>end up sitting somewhere really pissed off

I started one of those /qst/ threads a few weeks ago. I've always been into tabletop RPG's, and used to play them post by post on a forum. I have the time, and the regularity of it made me do something semi-useful with my day rather than just sit here refreshing porn threads the entire time.

But it's also stressful. It's demanding. You have an obligation to present a good product, and to do so regularly. You're always on the clock. And that's the part that made me cave, after a few threads, and after a few days of me telling myself "I'll make a new thread soon" I eventually didn't. It just felt too daunting, and the initial rush of again creating a narrative and characters had worn off.

I feel ashamed that I dropped it. I didn't even get very far. This is the sort of thing I've always fancied myself to be kind of good at. But is that the thing, though? Failure anxiety can only exist when you believe you can't reach the bar you've set for yourself. I got into it by giving myself a peptalk about how it's not serious, and there's no risk in trying. But I quickly forgot about that, and even after dropping it, I haven't remembered. I should either return to it, or move on and forget it. But I'm stuck in a mental limbo.

Bit of a first world problem, I suppose. But I feel like I've let people down, including myself. But negative emotions like that are exactly what stop a person from moving forward. And God knows I need to move forward...

>>11248808
I can't do pushups either. Maybe try sit-ups? Start small but don't give up. Feeling the burn is important.
>>11248861
Try HG.

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What do you do when you do a thing and are pretty sure your s/o hates you now?
Cause I did a thing and I think my s/o might hate me.
(Along with literally everyone I know.)
(again.)
And they're kind of a huge part of the reason I'm trying to better myself and not be a worthless depressed sack of shit anymore.
even though i still don't know if they're okay with what i want for myself.
then again i don't know what the hell i really want, just a vague idea with some mildly concerning boundries.

>>11248808
Have you tried the uh, push ups where you pivot from your knees instead of your feet? Cause I'm about as weak as they come and I can crank out like ten of those at a time before my arms start hurting too much.
Also, those stair step things you used to do in gym class or whatever? Those are good for the stamina problem.
Also drink something while you do stuff it helps a lot.

>>11242092
>>11245007
kys autismo

>>11248861
Don't take this personally, but one of the reasons that I stopped browsing /qst/ was the fact that so many DMs/QMs would flake out and disappear without a word. I kinda wish they'd just say that they're not running any more instead of leaving players without any closure.

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Capitalism is destroying the world in the predicted ways plus yet new ones that no one could have predicted. And there's not a god damn thing I can do to stop it. I swear to fucking God, if the global climate is well and truly fucked, I'll spend my dying days making sure that any porky trying to run away to Mars to escape the mess they made here won't survive their spaceship launch.

>>11248898
>Maybe try sit-ups?
I can't do sit-ups unless it's military style, where someone stands on my feet. Otherwise I just end up raising my legs in the air.

>>11249131
>Have you tried the uh, push ups where you pivot from your knees instead of your feet?
Holy shit, how did I not think of that? Thanks.

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>>11252872
Yeah I didn't know about it till someone told me either.
Anytime, dude.
You could probably manage the situps if you like, stick your feet under the bottom of your couch or something.

>>11251036
The thing is, you don't plan to stop. You think you're going to pick it back up again, just a little later than usual, except you don't.

It's also a bit of a two-way street. I've found users do very little to engage the QM, and it kind of makes you feel like you're functioning in a void. Not that I need my dick sucked every single time, but a quality post takes a lot of time and effort. Thinking ahead in a narrative that's developing as you're writing it is difficult. It's hard to find an equilibrium.

I think that, on an emotional level, /qst/ threads are an unfavourable combination of the disadvantages of performing for a live audience with very few of the advantages.

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>>11244265
That's just the cherry on top of the shit cake.

What's really got me down is that this was the final step I needed to take before I could be happy. I've walked on a lot of shit stepping stones to get here but now I have the money and financial stability to step out of this swamp entirely ... except that no agent will rent to me, even though I can pay. so what the fuck is the point!? I need to move to improve my own condition and business so I can work more to make more money but in order to move I need to make more money. pic related.

>>11255378
To add to that: I also found the pace set by the board to be debilitating. I wanted to take it more slowly than the board would let, leading to me overexerting myself and getting tired of my own quest way too quick.

>>11245007
>I want to be miserable
you're doing a great job at it. change, stop being the problem you can see everywhere else.

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>>11245007
>>11245007
>hahahahahahhah yeah because the people on the other side of the screen totally arent real, right, theyre all just bots or something
the way you find this funny is fucked, like, you have this world veiw which is so unshakable that you find any alternative laughable yet you come here to vent and don't even want to change or better yourself.... you are the problem.
People's comments online are not true, you can choose to accept them or not, even if they are real people. like if I said you are a gigantic faggot does that make it true because I'm real? no of course not, so, what I'm trying to say politely is, it's all in your head, you do this to yourself. stop being such a little wimp and taking people's cruel bullshit seriously.

>>11255381
Different guy here, but I get your trouble. I'd be in a similar situation myself if I didn't have great, supportive family. Fairly wealthy family at that, too.

>>11251412
You know, it's weird how you commies are always concerned about the world, but when it comes to the West, you hate everything about it. You think everything we do is evil, and we need to all be punished to make up for some invisible list of checks and balances.

But mate, why should I give two damns about the world when you're trying to destroy my immediate environment? I'd like to, mind you. I think it's very worrying that the environment is going to hell. But frankly, I think you care too little. The environment is always way down on your list, below pumping the population of the Third World, below mass immigration, below social engineering, below protecting the conservative, right wing religion you happen to like.

Right now, the Western world cares the most for the environment. Your commie buddies in China only care how much there is left to harvest. Same for Africa and the Middle East, really. You can't claim to stand for the environment and cast your lot in with those lunatics. In fact, I think it's just another excuse for you faggots. Another reason to tell yourselves that you're right, and the rest is wrong, so you don't actually have to pay heed to the things your fellow citizens say they want.

Fighting capitalism with communism is like curing the flu with a bullet to the head.

>>11249131
>What do you do when you do a thing and are pretty sure your s/o hates you now?
Your s/o is supposed to stand by you and help you regardless. If it's so egregious then they should be able to explain why to you easily and then because you're a good person you'll say "oh shit, yeah, sorry, I won't do that again" and then you can both go and live happily ever after.
If they aren't willing to help you they do not love you and they do not want you to better yourself.

>>11255444
original britanon here,
>has shit family who won't help me
>believe me I've asked, no, begged
well there's my problem :(

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>>11255496
lets not become /pol/ now though, this is /vent/
you can vent your politics on /pol/

>>11255570
It really fucking bothers me, though. I'm legit worried that extremists like this are going to destroy the West, and that the only answer is to become extremists ourselves. So whatever happens, we lose.

And all it takes is for people to not be complete cunts. But people seemingly always love huffing their own farts more than being decent human beings.

I wish my ex would just die already

I hate college

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>>11255521
Yeah I was kind of overreacting to some dumb shit I did, they didn't even say anything.
Although I'm fairly sure it would go along the first route if they did so it's all good, just, bein stupid.

>>11256102
Same.

>>11255570
That anon made a thoughtful argument, and you tell him to go away? Really?

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>>11257811
>a kneejerk reaction to seeing the word "capitalism" criticized in the form of an avalanche of increasingly rambling strawmen
>thoughtful argument

Let's not.

>>11257881
Whatever, man.

>>11257775
Who's the artist of the pic? (Reverse search gave nothing.) Kinda reminds me of something.

>>11258057
Waffleshark on tumblr

>>11258087
Thanks.

>>11257881
Oh, OK, so you just got triggered by someone not being a literal communist. I guess that's why you only broke out the /pol/ argument to respond to the guy you don't agree with, while a guy saying he's a communist and wants to murder people because of that is just "criticizing capitalism". You're not the reasonable party here, Anon. You're just a radical who uses less cusswords than the average radical.

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>>11258424

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>>11258429

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>>11258442

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>>11258448

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>>11258456

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>>11258463

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>>11258474
that's all for now

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>>11258331
Jesus Christ anon. Please chill and stop making so many assumptions. I'm not even that anon, and I'm not advocating for anything in particular. You jumped at a throat of that guy calling him every boogeyman you could think of and I've been in his situation many times, so I tried to at least to say something. You really think a guy using that depiction of a slav from a fascist cartoon as a pic is an idpol progressive? Not even an irony leftshit would do that. This is a vent thread I guess and you might have your frustrations with what you call "liberals", as I do, but at least vent at the right people. I would not vent at your average porky the same way I would vent at a zionist or a wahabbist muslim, despite both of them being traditionalist, ergo "rightist". Please realize how sectarian that makes you look.

No offense to you or him, but I guess that anon is also to blame, causing showing your power level and openly calling it capitalism always seems to drive in a pack of burgers and burgerphiles in, eager to equate you with every position and person they hate from Clinton to Stalin, asking you to defend stuff you might hate more than them in the first place. It's so tiresome, man. It's like those people who called everything fascist and racist.

And by the way the cancerous evil cesspool of a country that's China is quite the opposite of what any respectable socialist should want imo and idpol is centrist: see pic related.

bunp

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>"anon why don't you stream anymore?"
>start stream
>half a dozen friends enter and we start chatting for a few minutes
>another, better and more popular artist starts streaming
>chat immediately dies and they all idle out while talking in that stream
>draw alone for 20 minutes so it doesn't seem like I'm upset or bitter
>week later
>"anon why don't you stream again?"

I'd tell you to eat a dick but you'd like that.

>>11258474
nice ventilation systems you got going on there.

>>11230285
Hey Singapore

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>>11255700
me too man, me too. It's half the reason I am depressed, because I am pretty damn certain that the violent left and "extremists" are not the kind of people who change their mind or listen to reason or see their own hypocrisy. They are making excuses for their violence, (punch a nazi) did you see the army veteran who nearly got stabbed because the leftists in his vicinity thought he had a fascist haircut? prepare for the war.

>>11256538
leave & learn a trade (plumbing, joinery, decorating, plastering, etc). I wish I had.

Up

>>11262035
Singapore?
My name's Greenland though.

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>>11263040
Yeah, about that...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4830912/Man-arrested-lying-neo-Nazi-stabbing-attack.html

>>11266870
Oooh, frittata.

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>>11255496
None of the other answers so far was mine, just by the way. I'll try to keep this civilized to keep this from getting /pol/led up. Pastebinned because xboxhueg.

https://pastebin.com/wSG1wHhh

why do some people expect complete reciprocation in friendships?

it's okay if you want to tell me about your family problems and whatnot and i'll be happy to listen if you'll feel better but why the fuck do some people share their problems expecting other people to do the same afterwards and then accuse them of being distant and cold just for keeping my privacy or having other friends with whom i prefer to share my things?

it's not my fault if you can't take a fucking clue and notice i'm not the bestie you think i am, jesus fuck

bumpo

Tired of being diplomatic. My observation of human relationships is that the only sure way to gain respect is to swing your dick around like a National Geographic special. People claim they admire and respect kindness, but they really don't. If you want respect, you have to make people fear you like a gorilla thrashing around the underbrush. This is who we are. Accept it and work it.

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I hate women. They've ruined tons of groups I've been a part of, and even if I hate them I hate it when they don't like me.

I wish I just didn't care what they thought of me. and deep down I really feel like I don't, but I have such conflicting feelings about it that I don't know what to think. Their hatred is different from male hatred, it's a lot more irritating in all the right (wrong?) ways.

Also if Australia got blown off the face of the earth I'd probably be happy. Yes the two are related.

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>>11266870
well shit, kinda glad things aren't really that bad but then also disappointed in this guy, what does he want? what was he trying to acheive? a race war or something?

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>>11271640
kinda there too, you gotta broaden your spectrum, go to places you wouldn't normally and you'll meet totally different women. Seriously, we gravitate to places which have the same kind of people, by that i mean not the same as us but the same between places.

women's hatred is really fucking stupid, it's because they are sheltered, men beat each other in the street, so we end up with a larger perspective of what really constitutes an insult or a problem. But women never experience anything like this so the tiniest thing happens and it seems like a massive thing to them and subsequently they never drop a grudge. They need to get some fucking perspective. also feminism doesn't help this attitude of; "everyone has to pussy foot around my feeling like a land mine or I scream RAPE and get your life ruined" . Not sure how to fix this though .... maybe WW3 is a good idea?

>>11266004
Oh shoot, I had an old web flame who bought that exact same plush. Weird coincidence

test

>>11273043
ok why did my scat eating thread get removed?

>>11211700
Yep. I've had a deep space exploration dream once that I could have sworn lasted two hours which involved me getting stuck on an orange planet that had a purple sky and an actual working civilization. I woke up crying for some reason. Was one of the most beautiful things I never saw.

>>11216305
Are you me? My memory didn't used to be so shit back then afaik and talking has become a issue, I don't know how to talk like a normie to other normies. It doesn't help that I'm anxious about it.

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>>11211700
My dreams have always been exremely mundane crap. But recently, I had an alarmingly disturbing one. I was trapped with a group of horrible creatures in a place that seemingly shifted between some real world locations (my house and a marketplace building I go to all the time) and the mansion from Eternal Darkness. The creatures deeply disturbed me, but I only remember a few. Most were humanoid, I remember a monstrous old man with a mouth full of grotesquely oversized and mishappen teeth growing sideways on both his cheeks; a short figure in a shroud offering me money, who upon looking at me revealed he had a horrifying mangle of pointy gemstones for a face; and some sort of disembodied voice gloating stuff at me from another room, commanding some a floating slim reptile thing to harass me. This left me deeply disturbed, even when I awoke I feel as if I was there with all those creatures. Even if I heard the noises of my family members getting ready for a trip, as they were leaving early in the morning. I was petrified in my bed.

This was a strange dream. I've never experienced something like this. It is also the first time something about a fictional work has appeared in a dream of mine; even if It was just a location. I have been depressed lately as I've descended further and further into NEETdom, but I don't know what to make of this dream, even months later.

>>11273437
Craig?

>>11273570
No, that's not my name.

And if it's a reference to something, I don't get it.

>>11273570
Wat

>>11273577
>>11273589
Just a little HG joke, nvm

I've been fighting a chronic viral infection for about 4 years and it's finally fucked up my adrenals so now my cortisol levels drop like a fucking tank a few hours after I wake up and my blood pressure is in the shitter.
I just want to be functional enough to learn to draw but apparently that's asking for too much.

>>11272613
Considering what NK is trying to pull in the last 24 hours you might get your wish.

Don't be surprised if every country on earth uses it to neuter the internet. I'm mentally preparing myself to become a normalfag.

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I feel completely empty inside and I can't bring myself to do any of the things I love when I'm alone. Not even videogames, not even watching anime. All I do is play music and browse the 4chan like a lost child. My apartment is a complete fucking mess. Has been for months now, and I just won't clean it. I'm starving most of the time but I still don't eat. Work is a thankless empty task that I fulfill and feel nothing from. The only time I feel at least a little ''alive'' is when I'm gaming with friends online. But sometimes I hold myself back from doing it, and I don't really know why.

>>11274441
Same but without the friends online thing.

>>11274441
>I can't bring myself to do any of the things I love when I'm alone
I had this feeling, and then I figured out that getting off the computer and taking a half hour walk helps with motivation to do what I want to. Literally, being bored helps with motivation. >>11235112

>>11274679
Not him. But no, bullshit. I walk an hour a day or so and while I keep a clearer head while doing it, as soon as I get back home, it's back to this hellhole for like another five hours.

>>11271507
Know how that feels. Was basically brought up in a way that makes not being kind and helpful almost physically affect me, and my co-workers have been telling me time and time again not to let our other co-worker walk all over me. I finally snapped out of it when the bitch lied about how I take care of the residents when I was off that day, and decided from then on to be truthful to her every chance I get. Did she listen to me? No, but that's her fault. Her future will definitely be tarnished if she doesn't grow up

>>11274712 (Me)
The way I was brought up was with a suicidal sibling that had issues with our mother. Every time they got into a fight I would get into a panic that if I didn't console them I would find them hanging by a rope a block away from the house where we found them slitting their wrists before. I get that same feeling of "Shit, Shit, SHIT HELP THEM HELP THEM" with even the littlest things with other people because of it. It's annoying

>>11274441
Is that Shadman?

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This one is gonna be a long one boys

I don't know where the fuck I'm going in life. I'm 21 and still live my parents who pay for my college education. Both of them are retired and receive social security from the government. My father was a police officer and receives a pension from the department he works at. I receive social security because the only time I worked I literally flipped the fuck out from the stress. I worked at Walmart and I fucking hated it.

Class starts back on the 5th, I'm going for a useless history degree which only enables me to teach history. I feel so fucking undervalued compared to other fields. I can't chnage to a stem because I harbor I giant hatred towards the field of mathematics. I hate the teachers and I just hate it. I know math pulls in a hell more money and is worth more than history.

All I want out of my life is to move to the UK. I hate the United States with a burning passion. Every night I have homicidal fantasies where I brutally slaughter George Washington and torture him for breaking us away from the United Kingdom. I am a far right nutcase/monarchist and I just want to watch democracy die. I can't even function in society watching interracial couples being together, people using their freedom makes me hurl.

I know the UK isn't the greatest either. I would like to have a chance to make a difference over there and maybe turn back the clock 250 years.

I have great sexual frustration from when I hit puberty. I envied women for not having to actively pursue men and actually put effort into their relationships and sex lives. It seems like all women have to do is raise their ass in the air and get whatever they want. Whenever I masturbate I imagine myself in the female role. I sued to think I was transgender. I realized trans people are not real and will never be biologically the sex they wish to be. I don't see it as an identity thing. I just want all the biological functions and parts that come with being female. (1/?)

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>>11274795
As of lately my homicidal thoughts are increasing. I have fallen into a sort of obsession with the columbine massecure. I'm to much of a pussy to do anything its just concerning that I see Eric and Dylan as heroes and not villains.

I'm fucking pissed at the world, I'm pissed they let shitskin sand niggers into the UK but not me. I'm pissed that wherever I go there are leftist pieces of trash, all my professors are fucking BLM liberal commies and I just want to blow my fucking brains out.

What do I do

>>11274795
>>11274810
dude you've got serious issues and it might be a good idea to actually talk to someone about them before you do something retarded.

>>11222904

I'm ok with vore and not a shithead, if that's worth anything.

>>11274795
used to think I was*

>>11274795
>>11274810
>I feel so fucking undervalued compared to other fields
History classes are underappreciated, but understand that what you teach is important and will decide on what the children of the future will learn from the past

>move to the UK
Try to save some money to do so, and be careful not to become infatuated with the idea. It might lead to dissapointment

>As of lately my homicidal thoughts are increasing
You might want to receive some psychological help for this. I'm not telling you to change your opinions, but just to see what other issues might be adding on to this before you become just another statistic for others to use

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>>11211700
(same anon)
The vividness of my dreams scares me a lot of time because within the 5-8 years or so I've been having a harder and harder time discerning them from reality (not joking)

I frequently have conversations with people in my dreams and even if they are completely crazy and over the top for some reason my brain just accepts that these things happened irl at some point.

For example yesterday I had a long dream that I was a gutter-punkish woman (Iam male) exploring a large bustling city kind of similar to New York.It was extremely vivid with sounds, smells, and touch. It wasn't until I was about to go to bed last night that my brain realized that none of that stuff actually happened.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

>>11274900
When I was employed at a rather high-stress job, I would wake up in the middle of the night because I thought my boss would catch me sleeping on the job. I would still have trouble going back to bed, even though I knew and saw I was in my room, because a little part of me was still scared that he'd come around to my cubicle and catch me.
Does that sound similar to your situation?

>>11274795
>>11274810
You have a lot of anger about things that are never going to change.

If you even remotely want to stop feeling like such shit your going to have to let a lot of that hatred go, an not resent people for living their lives

>obsession with columbine
Also stop being an edgelord. being obsessed with school shooters is just sad

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>>11274900
>>11274944
No I get that. I've had the same kinda thing happen but thats not what I am talking about

I talking about a lack of mental blocks to keep my brain from blatantly accepting that what happens in my dreams is real.

Its making me feel ridiculously out of touch with the world and reality.I am already ridiculously out of touch with the world to begin with

for example I have had conversations with people asking them if they remember when XYZ happened. Theyll tell me that XYZ never happened and i'll look back and eventually realize that those events were just dreams but my mind just never separated them from reality

>>11222904
Are you that guy who keeps exploding in the vore thread? You're letting it get to you too much, and for no good reason either. Most people would not give their fetish a second thought in real life, save for the scumbags who have scared you from being like this. And you are proof they are in fact not the default of the fetish, so kindly stop strawmaning. Not good for anybody. Most of the mocking responses you have gotten in the threads were most likely baiting you. Me amongst them. Now I feel bad for doing so. Even if that response came from justifying I developed my ridiculously fluffy endo tendencies out of fear of the repercusions vore would have irl. I personally can't suffering, but at times when people come telling you you're a monster because other people have scared them, despite you doing as much as you can to distance yourself from those people, it can feel disrespectful.

I dunno man. Try not to take It so seriously.

>>11274708
Hey, it works for me, but it goes unsaid that others should take it as a grain of salt.

>>11275027
Might want to go to a doctor about that, or ask your primary physician for a referral before it gets any worse or becomes a hassle on your daily life. That sounds like a bitch to go through, hope you find something or someone that'll help you

I like tabletop roleplaying games and have worked on multiple different systems for years. I can't decide what I want when it comes to them, every time I come to think of a new rule or concept for a fictional world I start to drop older stuff and try to see if I can be satisfied with it, though I never am.

I also like video games and want to make them, at least one, but they're very difficult to make of course and every step of the process has complications.

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>>11275056

Well I have that on top of having pretty intense maladaptive daydreaming that consists of 50%-70% of my day in a vivid or light daydreaming state.

What could a doctor actually do about that? Other than just shrug and say tough shit?

>>11222904
To be honest, my vore fetish scares me because it opens my eyes to the fact that some people really can't control what they're into. I see these necrophilia threads with people posting these dead bodies being fucked and I can't even ask them how the hell someone can be so depraved because I am that depraved, and would probably have real-life photos saved on my computer if my fetish was physically possible.

Human psychology scares me sometimes.

>>11275137
It's worth a shot, maybe they can find an underlying cause or some miracle pill or exercises that can help you manage it. The worst that could happen is that pay >$100 in co-pay, but you're worth it

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>>11275138
(not the same anon)
>human psychology scares me sometimes
aww but thats why I find it so fascinating and cool

But I feel you on that. I am not a vore but I feel like a lot of our fetishes can be found back in some sort of experience or trauma

It wasn't until a few days ago that I wondered on the thought that the reason I get off on masochistic types of fetishes (being beaten, cut, scratched, biten, bullied, and raped) all stems from how intensely bullied I was a child.

It really makes you feel like your just along for the ride while your psych turns you into a fucking weirdo

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>>11275179
It negatively affects my life but I also have never been not extremely visual in my head.

It helps my writing and helps me with brainstorming but it also makes me feel incredibly detached from reality

At this point, if that all went away, I don't know what I would even begin to do with my now disgusting NEET ass.

I don't want a 9-5, been there done that. It only makes my suicidal thoughts and depression stronger. I am just so tired of feeling so lost in a world I don't feel strong connections to

>you're worth it
thanks but don't yank my chain anon. I am not worth anything. I am just one of 7 billion sentient cells living on the side of a rock in space.

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I'm glad this discussion went to fetishes and why we have them, because that's my issue.

I have a massive, huge fetish for being powerful. Maybe physically, mentally, socially or with some kind of supernatural ability or magical power. This ties into my sexual tastes and into my daydreams and thoughts of the day.

Why do I have this fetish? If fetishes are the result of trauma and past experiences, why would I feel this way? It hasn't bled into my daily life in a way, honestly believing myself to be superior to others. Unlike other narcissistic people I don't think it's a good behavior to have nor am I too blind to see it, I keep it under control is the thing.

The worst part is my sexual fetishes and desires have been slowly corrupted by other people over the past few years; giddy subs who take me to new heights of abusing them. I used to be just a top dom gay/straight sort of person (RP only, still a virgin in real life) but now I can get off on all kinds of weird shit including cuckolding, transformation, heavy BDSM, etc. I can still enjoy more vanilla stuff too, but I literally have a fantasy where I brainwash and enslave everyone on earth to believe me as their god king and bend over with their ass up for me as a daily prayer.

I don't know why I feel like this and I don't know if I should feel bad about it.

*has bled into my daily life in a way

>>11275268
You don't have to be worth it to others to be worth it to yourself. This is your life, your experience with a taste of sentience. Do with it what you will, but don't suffer because you feel like you haven't surpassed some goal to achieve happiness. At the end of the day, we're all just random people trying to make the best of suddenly being thrown into existence with no manual

Also, are there any local places you can volunteer at. You can meet people there and (for as much as I know) choose when to participate so it doesn't feel like you're being forced to

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>>11275326
Usually when people have power or control fantasies its because you may feel lacking in those areas in your real life. You may feel like your not completely in control or that you have no say over big decisions therefore you act out the ability to have control in a fantasy setting. In IRL you have limits, in fantasy you have no limits so that might be something that fuels you as well.

I wouldn't feel bad about it as long as you are having fun and whoever you are doing it with are having fun as well.

I wouldn't feel bad about a feitsh until it starts crossing into blantant abuse or you are actively hurting another person without their consent

otherwise just have fun if its all in good spirits

>>11275326
You don't have to feel about it unless you're harming others. You have enough in life to worry about instead of what you jack off to.

Have you ever felt powerless, or wanted something changed that you could not control? I know that has lead to my possession/mind control fetish, but maybe it had the opposite affect on you

>>11275473
>>11275483

See that's the problem, I don't feel like I lack control. I don't think I ever really did.

I had a good childhood with zero abuse or issues. I'm in a good job currently. Maybe after I graduated highschool and couldn't get any work I would have developed a desire for control, but I don't know if that was really the time it started.

I have a good job right now and no complaints about life, which makes me at odds with most people in the thread. I'm just unsure of the origin of this specific fetish. I also really enjoy talking about it to online people when I get a chance, and am not embarrassed about it (in an anonymous place of course)

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>>11275056
>>11275137
>>11275179
>>11275268
>>11275434

>You don't have to be worth it to others to be worth it to yourself
Thats all fine if your ok with being a loner but if you want friends or a relationship then you kinda have to have some sort of worth

>feel like you haven't surpassed some goal to achieve happiness
I've had severe depression for close to half of my life now. I feel like I have long since given up on the carrot on a stick that is goals for happiness. I feel unhappy either way and am lost

>volunteering
I've thought about it but I still gotta 'man up' and put food on my table i guess.

I don't want kids or to be married. As far as I know right now all I want to do is write but I feel guilty whenever I write or indulge myself in things I enjoy or indulge my already unstable escapist mind


I just don't know anymore anons. I've been lost my whole life in a vivid world that doesn't actually exist. What the fuck is wrong with me?

>>11275566
You don't to have a harrowing, life-changing experience to gain a fetish. I got mine from sitting in my mother's lap while she was hungry one too many times.
Might be nothing, might've been something so small you didn't think it did anything to you

>>11275566
It doesn't have to be traumatic.

To me maybe it sounds like you've had a fairly vanilla life and now you want to play with fantasies that are some extreme extension of something you already have. Like you feel like you want to go beyond the boundaries that you've already set for yourself.

Or maybe you feel some sense of bordom in your life and power fantasies are what spice it up?

Some of my friends have been joking that I'm thin because I have a tapeworm in my intestine,which is partially true,because a few days ago I found out that there are weird tiny white worms in my poop.I don't seem to be any worse though.

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>>11275590
>>11275620

Well, makes sense to me. Being able to break free of mortal weakness and the normies masses is something I desire. I very much do believe that I am fit for something better then others, an egoism that extends into real life.I'm not mean or cruel, but I do honestly believe that I should have some kind of power or supernatural essence. One of my favorite fantasies is to just wake up one day with a nearly omnipotent amount of power to just be able to do (anything) and sculpt the world to my whim.

If this ever does happen, don't worry people on /trash/ are some of my favorite people. Thanks.

>27 in a month
>highschool dropout
>only ever had one job, lost it a few years ago
>spend days cleaning cooking and taking care of my parents, bouncing from one house to the ither whenever they get sick of me
>only friend is online, lives across ocean
>have huge crush on him that he knows about and is fine with but know hell never feel the same
>am secret faggot
>feel crushing loneliness whenever we "hang out" and play pc games or chat on discord
>used to ERP with him before i showed him what i look like
>too embarrassed now
>too embarrassed to let him hear my voice
>sttuggling to sleep lately, most nights just cry a little and get odd two-three hour naps until its time to get up and clean
>have been on zoloft for a few months now, still sweat and tremble when talking to strangers

My life feels like an endless series of failures, and if my parents werent supporting me out of guilt or whatever it is I'd almost surely have killed myself by now. For now I'm coasting but i worry that whenever my parents decide theyve had enough of their 30 year old virgin failure mooching off of them I'll have to just eat a bullet and hope my friend gets over me disappearing.

>>11275799
sounds like a burgeoning god complex or something.

If you get god status can give me some of your wizard powers?

>>11275831
damn dood I feel with some of this

is there any other way you think you could meet others online in groups?

It sounds like your grinding yourself to dust against this one guy you become close to and knowing that he'll never reciprocate will only make it worse for you.

Is there anything you could do to move away from your parents? do you think that would help you feel better with the guilt or do you think it would make it worse?

>>11275950
Nono, my parents are the ones that feel guilty, at least i think so, about how i was raised. I cant think of any other reason theyd continue giving me food and a bed for cleaning.

Moving away or meeting people would help most likely, but im a fucking mess. I havent applied for welfare or anything because making the calls terrifies me, same reason i havent gotten new glasses in over a decade. As far as meeting people i just dont know how, i have to force interest in anything and my life is just dull. Even talking on 4chan feels awkward enough that i rarely ever post anymore.

I dont know why im making excuses

>>11276088
What about the call terrifies you? If you're afraid of freezing, try writing down potential questions and information they may ask for beforehand. Glasses are important, and will definitely help you in future endeavors

>>11276153
Im not sure, i guess just the idea of freezing up, yeah. Anytime i make an appointment i have this irrational dread theyre going to ask some question i wont know the answer to. Ontop of that being a poorfag means i have to worry whether my insurance will cover the cost entirely or not, and if it doesnt i could end up in crippling debt

Thanks for trying to help anon, i probablg should just off myself eventually though.

>>11276280
Their website usually holds information regarding in the insurance they take. You can also check the website or call your insurance provider about what they cover or co-pay.

Please give it a try, if it doesn't work then at least you will find if there's another issue that you can work on

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>>11276088
>I dont know why im making excuses
your making excuses because your probably not mentally well like me. I have severe depression and your brain will fill itself with all sorts of excuses in order to keep you from doing stuff.

Don't see it as a personal failing, see it more as dealing with a disease and try taking babysteps and being ok with that

Its hard trust me I know. Also, it sounds like you suffer from extreme anxiety. Have your tried talking to a doctor about getting on meds for it?

>poorfag means i have to worry whether my insurance will cover

completely understandable but you really only have to go to a doctor once in order to get a script. It won't change your life dramatically for you but it will make things a little more tolerable. And trust me when you've been living in metal hell for an extremely long time, every little bit helps even if you don't thing that it does

>just off myself eventually though
I understand my friend. I feel the same way but eventually can be a ways away. Like I said earlier, babysteps. You might find that hook somewhere along the line that brings you enough out that you feel life is at least worth living

despite everything I wish you the best anon. Life is hard and existence is insane but atleast were all here together right?

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>>11272685
Weird coincidence indeed. Was he super into Luxray too?

>>11276536
Hope things go well for you tok Anon, thanks.

goin up

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I've been trying to start drawing again since 2012 and I just don't pick up any of the stuff I bought for it. The fucking store I bought the pencils from closed. I tried charcoal drawing and side circumstances made me stop going and ending up hating it. My mother caught wind of it and bought me charcoal stuff but I barely touched it. I bought Art Academy on 2015 and put it on my DS right in front of my desk to motivate me pick it up but I didn't do it. It's honestly been more than a decade since I stopped drawing and I haven't done anything with my life. I can't do anything for myself. I can function fine on a workplace but it feels like absolute shit and makes me want to ponder death and kill myself all the time. I need a threat or I can't function. And I can't threaten myself, I'm too lazy and don't have a shred of self-esteem or will to improve. But at the same time it eats me alive. I just browse this hellhole 24/7 and play videogames if I'm lucky. The only thing that's even motivating me to keep looking for a job is having money so I can buy videogames I'll end up barely playing.

I want out of this life.

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All I've ever wanted to do in life was help people. I wanted to be a doctor, save lives, make a difference in the world. But now I'm scared. It feels like I should probably buy a gun and go to a shooting range just to protect myself from my fucking neighbors. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I don't want to die. I want to save lives, not end them. Does anyone else feel this way?

s t r e s s

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>>11275137
>maladaptive daydreaming
my nigga

I pretty much spend a good 50% of my time at work daydreaming. I can get away with it since it's a menial produce job at a supermarket so it's just hauling shit back and forth from the shop floor. Lots of time to think and daydream. I've got about 5 or 6 different universes that I drop into and act out what those characters are up to. Planning on turning a couple of them into webcomics eventually.

The one thing I've learnt after years and years of trying to get rid of it to make myself more functional is that you can't, or at the very least it's not worth it. It's very much one of those things that once you've had a taste of it, real life becomes mundane as fuck. I spent a good couple years after suffering encephalitis not being able to daydream and I came pretty close to offing myself (I'm mostly back to "normal" now).

It's the only escape I have other than games from the shittiness of reality. I know it's not the most healthy but this late in the game I don't intend to give it up. Spending 2 years not being able to made me realise how much I rely on it to get through the day, and I'd hate to give up on the characters, universes and stories I've made since I was a kid.

>>11281978
>I need a threat or I can't function. And I can't threaten myself
>>11282732
>All I've ever wanted to do in life was help people. I wanted to be a doctor, save lives, make a difference in the world.
>>11285539
>I've got about 5 or 6 different universes that I drop into and act out what those characters are up to. Planning on turning a couple of them into webcomics eventually.

Hello me

bumpin

>>11282732
Me but I don't like hospitals

No dying

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>>11282732
If you want to save lives, you need to be alive to do it. No reason to feel guilty for wanting to defend yourself. The chances of you actually having to shoot someone in self defense are relatively low anyway, most of the time just pulling your gun out will deter an attacker. And when you do have to shoot, the chances of them dying are pretty slim too. Especially considering:
>I want to be a doctor
I doubt you'll shoot to kill. And if you have any medical training then whoever you shoot is the luckiest assailant alive.

I got another crush today on a customer at work. She's the most beautiful person I've seen come in but I'll probably never see her again.

>>11274795
>I am a far right nutcase/monarchist and I just want to watch democracy die. I can't even function in society watching interracial couples being together, people using their freedom makes me hurl.

For the love of God, stay in the US if that's what makes you flip out. Being a far-right monarchist racist might not be looked upon too kindly over there, BUT it is legal to think that way. In the UK expressing those kinds of thoughts can and will get you prison time, the government pushes multiculti, and BBC is standing less and less for 'British Broadcasting Corporation' and more for 'Big Black Cock' all the time.

You like history, right? Well Doctor Who, one of the BBC's flagships, featured delightful things like 40% brown London in the early 1800s, black Roman legionaries, and black guys as Anglo-Zulu War era redcoats. Oh, and the BBC's actual, literal history content is starting to put black people everywhere in British history now as well, despite the fact that up until the 1950's Britain was 99.XX% white. It'll give you a fucking aneurysm.

>t. young white Brit trapped in a steady descent into ethno-nationalism after all the liberal nonsense in this country

>>11295192
Oh, and there's a new BBC series about Troy where Achilles, Zeus, and some other secondary characters are black. Fuck I'm getting mad just typing all this out; I can ignore this blackwashing shit in other things but literally rewriting history sends my autism into overdrive to the point where I am actually, literally triggered and I wish they'd just fucking stop already.

>>11295348
Sometimes I wonder if blackwashing these things is suppose to adhere to some large black audience they have or if it's just a cheap way of crossing the "be diverse" achievement off their list. It feels lazy, BBC could just as easily create a new show with african people in it instead of just turning the lighting down on an already established product and calling it a day

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Same anon as >>11198220

I ended up having a bad accident a few days ago that really left me thinking; so, I have no bf; I'm alone and I never really gave much thought into how that truly does affect me. I'm "sucessful". I'm delving into some Grade-A weaponized autism, because one of the main things that I'm into is blood; I'm a hemophile, and I had my first accident related to it a few days ago.

I live by myself in a house I own, I have first aid just in case such a thing happened and I fucked up; I wound up mending it and cleaning it, but it wasn't pretty and I felt woozy and all for a while afterwards, I'm okay now but it only really sank in now. I don't want to spend any money on getting therapy or any of that; I know it would help immensly but you don't get out of poverty into six figures by spending money on yourself

I just needed to get that off my chest, all of my friends irl are normies and my social skills besides getting cilent work, school, kissing ass and corporately whoring myself up are beyond salvageable.

My brother's a prick. I wish I could disown him.

l i f e

s u c k s

d
i
c
k

pmub

>>11275040
>Are you that guy who keeps exploding in the vore thread?
Yes...

I know that disrupting those threads is wrong and doesn't do anything at all, but it does get to me personally to the point where I feel like I need to lash out. I wish I could just ignore it, but my kinks are things that I use to fantasize about situations that make me feel good about myself for once.

enter the g r o a n z o n e

>>11272565
There's always people doing shit like that to smear opponents or just for attention. I recall that after Trump's election, there were several cases of SJWs doing that and being caught.

>>11274810
I REALLY recommend layong off the alt-right Youtubers for a while and seeking professional help. Pundits make a living by pissing you off -- thus "outragebait" -- but for someone in a bad frame of mind, that can lead down a bad path. Not unlike certain communities reinforcing harmful behavior, like those anorexia communities.

Cut yourself off from them at least for now, and you'll probably see an improvement in mood. Also, again, seek a therapist, as it's possible you have a disorder compounding this.

>>11282732
Why are you afraid of your neighbors? Are they the Manson Family?

>>11308224
Yeah, jews get caught putting up swastikas all over all the time.

>>11292705
I know that feel. Kind of like you were late to join society and now all the roles are filled so you're just kind of there.

I think the priority would be to find a tolerable job, so you don't feel like a weight so much. Simply being productive, even if it's a lowly job, can make all the difference in the world. Jobs dealing with people sure suck, so here's a suggestion I make regardess of person: don't be afraid to use connections to find jobs. Sore, getting hired just because you're related to the boss is scummy, but I mean ask your relatives if they know of any openings and if they can put in a good word for you. I don't think there ever was a study about this, but if I had to guess, I'd say the better jobs get filled up by trusted suggestions and such before ever being announced in a job site. So don't be afraid to ask your siblings.

As far as writing, I suggest something simple to start with: write down absolutely everything interesting you think of. A general plot, a set piece, a clever dialogue etc. You'll eventually start to see some of them connecting into a bigger story, and might stumble upon one that grabs your attention.

>>11305251
I sort of understand, anon. There's some really horrible people in the fetish, as obvious as that remark might be. And the kind of responses you get, while not totally undeserved, might have frustrated you further. Hoping it reasures you even a little, here's my outlook on the fetish:

https://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/11235449/#11282193

Because at the end of the day this is just a fantasy and both you and me (I hope) prove we just want to engage in something that makes us feel good.

ugh

>>11308272
No, I've just been ingesting too much social media and /pol/ and feel like the world is going to kill me if they get the chance, paranoia and all that jazz.
I know the chances of it happening are slim to none, but I've been having dreams filled with neo-nazis for the past few days now and my subconscious keeps telling me they're right to kill me whenever I have those dreams and I don't want to fucking think like that every time I try to get some rest

I have gone from being a quiet ball of anxiety to a blabbering ball of anxiety that tries to strike up conversations with anyone within a 5 mile radius. Don't know if it's an improvement, but eh

>>11274810
first: don't kill anyone, if you use the wepon of the enemy you become the enemy. a predeliction for killing people is the problem with those crazy immigrants.

Try some thought provoking propaganda, stealthily spread by night
>"oppose political violence, FROM ALL SIDES"
>"immigration is invasion"
>"multiculturalism is white genocide"

I have the same desires but if we submit to them, we become no better than the people we have a problem with.

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>>11273437
Dreams are the subconscious talking to the conscious through metaphors, consider the possibility that you have had an epiphany recently about the true nature of some people in your life, and those monsters represented said people.

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>>11242441 (me)
this happened and I feel better and worse in different ways. I think I class that as an improvement.
>go to see abusive ex gf while on holiday
>she is being a lot less of a bitch and genuinely understands her problems and apologises for them
>we get really fucking high
>cuddle
>she crys
>I know exactly why she's crying
>I cry
>we talk, i was right
>she was crying because she regretted fucking up our relationship
>I was crying because we were so good together in so many ways, but so bad together aswell.
>catharsis
>we trip balls and watch the fractal patterns and hallucinations together while listening to ambient celtic music
>feels good man
>come home
>talk to house mate
>house mate starts giving me the same bullshit my ex did back when we were together
>would have escalated into an argument
>have seen this a thousand times
>this is why I left my ex
>fml
but on a more positive note, I had a good perspective shift and that trip helped.
>at least I have a house
>at least I have a roof
>and a bed
>and enough food, although very frugal and cheap food
Perspective is everything :) just gotta work to make things better and avoid my house mate as much as possible. At least I have the basics sorted.
EVERYONE. do lots of mushrooms or DMT. it will help you.

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>finally have some money aside for a commission
>artist has now put slots behind his Patreon
>this is everyone now
>getting slots is even more competitive than ever
https://twitter.com/0Lightsource/status/903003141905551361

It hurts

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Fuck that guy, he's been dead to me ever since he gave an SJW answer for why he wouldn't plump up one of his femboys.

>>11312855
>ever since he gave an SJW answer for why he wouldn't plump up one of his femboys
We still talking about 0Lightsource? What happened exactly?

>>11312937
Basically when he received an ask from an anonymous user about plumping up one of his femboy characters because of the asker's love for chubby femboys, he went full tumblr and said that he felt that it was objectifying. Plus, there's all his talk about body positivity and all of that.

But I dunno, he's just been annoying me as a person what with the general attitude, him turning into a patreon whore, and his insistence that people should care about his fap fodder OC's for anything beyond masturbation.

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>>11313414
>and his insistence that people should care about his fap fodder OC's for anything beyond masturbation
Are you fucking serious?

>>11311602
>I've just been ingesting too much social media and /pol/
Yeah that's not healthy. You know how Tumblrinas stay all day in their hugboxes and can't believe the rest of the world doesn't conform to their tastes? It can occur in reverse too, like with having too much /pol/ or /r9k/, you mind starts working on a different frequency, it's not good for you. It's a cliche, but it's true in this case: it's best to stay off them for a while and regain your bearings. No need to completely cut off, just stipulate something like, X minutes of humor posting only, already helps, tho of course completely cutting off makes you "heal" faster. Staying too much within a single group can screw up your cognition.

i don't even know what i am anymore

>>11309068
Thank you

i have a crippling porn addiction

>start vomiting in the middle of the night
>vomit 5 times in less than a hour
>piss all over self while vomiting
>trail of vomit from bed to bathroom
>start period next day
can this shit get any worse

>>11321372
why

https://youtu.be/r8VsavV9zkc

>tired all the fucking time

>>11322820
Fucking same

I am trying to surround myself with friends online to help keep me in track.

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>Artist owes me (and probably several others) multiple commissions
>Months overdue, if not longer
>Makes a fucking journal announcing raising her rates despite massive backlog
Christ

>>11321372
>piss all over self while vomiting
How the fuck did you manage that?

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too cowardly to live

too cowardly to die

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There goes another thing to wake up for every day.
At least I have zucchini bread.

Drove an hour to and from a place to get books for college and I forgot to get one of the ones I need for Tuesday class.
Are first world problems something to even bother complaing about here? Seems tame compared to the big problems a lot of guys have on here and I keep getting the feeling someone will read this and think "he didnt even complain about the price of books or getting into college, fuck off cunt, with your pathetic 'problems''".

>>11329329
Did you try pirating them first? It's impressive how widespread book piracy already is.

>>11329329
Eh, a problem is a problem. As long as you don't try to one-up someone about how bad your life is I see nothing wrong with discussing it here. Also, you could try to find the book online. If not, and the bookstore is close to your class, you could try to pick it up hours before class starts

>>11274795
>I am a far right nutcase/monarchist and I just want to watch democracy die. I can't even function in society watching interracial couples being together, people using their freedom makes me hurl.
>I have great sexual frustration from when I hit puberty.
>I just want all the biological functions and parts that come with being female.
Hmmmmmmmm.

>>11329748
Im afraid of getting the wrong version if I do try pirating

>>11329852
Whenever I tried to get an online version I repeatedly got an error :/

>>11332494
Several books have more than one edition available so you can even chose between those.

Libgen.io is the biggest site I think, also Mobilism.org has a lot of freshly dumped stuff but you need to register to search.

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(1/2)

Here's my vent. I'm like the opposite of some vents at the start of this thread.

Had middle, upper-middle-class upbringing. Studied hard, worked a part-time summer job during high school. Good grades, good ACT/ SAT, got into my choice colleges, got ahead because of AP courses. Parents are proud, support me.

First year of college nearly killed me. Even tried cutting myself to see if it helped (didn't, never did it again). I think I was too far ahead, so the courses I was in were too advanced for first year, plus they were all concurrent, and the school was known for deliberately weeding out that major. Stuck it out for 2 semesters to see if it got better. Parents supportive of whatever I need to do.

Changed schools, new major - creative thing that used to be a hobby, looked like a promising career in the entertainment industry. Loved it, made friends instantly, did awesome, proud of my work. Debt-free because parents had a college savings plan and covered my other costs out of pocket. No job after graduation, and I continued in grad school. Parents proud and supportive.

Burnt out in grad school but eventually find my footing, develop my own style, do well, encouraged by professors to pursue what I was aiming for. Start being tranny instead of straight white dude. Parents supportive. Really happy with my thesis, gets a great response but is comedy and never gets any industry recognition, no awards, so I remain unknown, no "achievements" to put on my resume. Huge debt from private school + cost of living. Parents proud and supportive.

Send tons of applications, no job. Move home. Parents wondering when I'm getting a job. Six months later, try moving to LA for work. Don't make enough for rent, move back home.

(continued)

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(2/2)
>>11333902

Don't look like a man anymore, so have to socially transition. Family and friends are supportive. Do some freelance work from home. Schedule a surgery with wages, savings, and credit. Parents supportive but expect me to have a job after that.

Keep sending applications. No significant work. Sudden opportunity to have the "big" surgery, borrow money from too-generous amazing friend. Parents supportive. Get surgery. Recover. Parents expect job after that.

Actually get full-time work in my field! 9 months of good work and little drama go by. Parents offer to help me buy a home near work because it's cheaper than rent (after downpayment).

Work goes to hell, boss a shitbag every day, buddies get fired, but assuming this hell is temporary I go through with buying a home. 9 more months. Stop getting paid on time. Boss not improving. Down to 3 employees (me, a guy in the office, a guy working remote, and nutjob boss sitting next to me). So without pay, I have to ask to be fired so I can at least pay my bills with unemployment while I look for something new.

I'm 30. My parents are still supportive. They offer to help with my mortgage and a new car if I want to drive for Uber. Because here I am, 2 months on unemployment, running out of money, and no sign of another job.

Here's my vent finally. I feel like such a piece of shit because I had every advantage in life, but years out of school I can't even support myself. I put everything I had into trying to build this career, and ever after a couple years of shit jobs and nothing "real" my parents supported me so I could stick with it. Except I have no other marketable skills. And what I do have apparently isn't enough to get a job with a company not run by the biggest asshole this side of a San Francisco bathhouse.

(continued again I guess)

>>11334110
Sometimes you can have all the cards and still lose.

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(3/2)
>>11334110

I could have taken these years of floundering and my parents' support and learned something worthwhile. I should have given up after a year of not getting my footing. Instead I'm stuck at 30 being an asshole leaning on my parents again and again.

Four years out of school and clearly none of it was worth it. Don't have the time or money to go back now. Don't have skills to change industry, clearly not any good at my own shit, the one job I did have was pretty much a fluke and ended up a disaster anyway.

I've had major depression since I was young, but a stable structure and constant work from school kept it in check. Now I can't even get motivated to do anything. No hope, especially not in the couple months of funds I have left - can't do much in that time but hope my existing skills are needed somewhere soon. Can't enjoy anything I used to like, not vidya, nothing creative, being social makes me feel worse. And it has nothing to do with the transition shit either - that was the only successful thing I did since finishing school.

I think about killing myself every day. I started therapy and medication, but it's not helping. Dying isn't ideal, but it's hard to see my life getting better. My happiness and fulfillment peaked a long time ago. Even the one shit job with shit pay that I could get didn't get me close to that, and now I can't get any job that pays more than unemployment does. I'm thinking about making preparations to die. At least packing things up so my family doesn't have to deal with that. And something comes along to save me, I can just unpack it.

Anyway, thanks for reading /trash/bros

>>11334381
>parents show unconditional love for their child to this day
>child still wishes to kill themself
Damn...
The day that I lose hope is when everyone turns their back to me, not when I continue to fail despite putting forth effort. I wish the same for you.

>>11334841
I wish I could just be happy because of their support, pick myself up, and try again, whether it's the same or something totally new... But the longer this goes on, the more uncomfortable it gets. The more pressure there is for me to support myself faster, not necessarily all from them. But how much can they really invest in me just to get me going? It's been like that over and over, how can I feel like anything but a failure? The common denominator is me. I don't hate myself, I don't even hate the work I've done, but I just don't have enough value to the commercial world to support myself.

Why is there so much nigger porn on this website now. Jesus Christ man. /gif/ is like 60% nigger shit and blacked shitposters are seemingly on every board these days.

How do I get out of this fucking timeline

I want gays and titfags leave /scaly/, /scaly/ is ruined.

>>11324900
What do you mean? I couldn't control my bladder while vomiting, it just happened.

I'M NOT A FURRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>11335313
Perhaps you should try talking it out to your parents. Explain how much you strive to be independent, the failures, and the coming future of expenses. They might offer to help, and accepting it is up to you.

bumpo

I miss PAR

Next thread?

>>11340051
same

>>11269376
Hey, sorry for not answering sooner. Haven't been around here for a while.

That's a well thought out post. I can't say I agree with all of it, but there's plenty I do agree with. I think the problem is that an ideology isn't just what it says in the book, but what its followers do in real life. Your version of communism sounds livable, but you're not going to be the one enacting it. And that's the thing. It's still a totalitarian, one-party system, and that's what leads to its problems. Without any real check on the power, those in charge can just do whatever. The root of the problem isn't in the idealism, but how it's implemented.

That's also what those SJW type people who call themselves "socialist" strive for. They're very clear in that they want to slap down anyone who, according to them, commits wrongthink. And if there's enough of them to define what socialism means, well, then that's what socialism is. Idpol and all.

>>11339145
Actually we already have this planned. Except I can't imagine they're going to tell me to take 2 years and study something new. More likely they're going to agree that I should get a job for $9.35/h "just to get out" even though at 40+ hours a week that would be less than the UE benefits I have until the end of the year.

I don't know if they are capable of understanding depression. It's a constant fight with my brain trying to convince me that death makes sense. Curling up to die sounds so much more appealing than working a job that only causes me to fall farther behind on my finances. It wouldn't cover my bare monthly costs, let alone help me pay off debts or get ahead. I'd rather let depression win than spend the energy to fight that way.

why am i such an awkward mess

>>11345630
autism

>>11345630
take a speech class

Missed my flight, next one is in 10 fucking hours and instead of being a 3.5 hour direct flight, it's going to be an 11 hour overnight tour of the country.

I fuuuuucked up.

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*BLORT*

>>11345957
probably

>>11345981
that sounds like a good idea for suicide

>>11347440
>>11347440
>>11347440