/Vent/ Thread. Basically just vent any frustrations or whatever

Literally every "friend" I have ever had doesn't give a shit about me, I have no social life, and am shit at everything I do. Thanks for the thread, OP.

I feel like I have potential, more than I know, but I don't act on it.

>>11035746
Ever since I finished college I've lost all social drive and I stay home way too much.

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I love my boyfriend too much to even talk to him out of fear of saying something stupid or hurting him.
I don't know how to be a functional human.
I don't think I'm trans but I really want to be a lot more feminine than I am right now.
I want to lose weight but the only foods I can reliably eat are terrible for it.
I have no idea what to do with myself or my time.
I hate being such a burden on my friends.
I hate people.
I hate myself.
My head is fucking killing me.
My painkillers aren't working.
I can't sleep.
I'm a god damn mess.

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>got put on a crew show expecting a general and ten colonels

>>11035746
I got called a attention seeker on one of the threads I visit and I didn't take that very nicely.
I know, i'm autistic.

I had an existential crisis at 5am and I feel like a piece of shit with anger problems.

>>11035746
I've been playing guitar since I was 8 and I'm finally starting to get to the point where I'm technically skilled enough to be quazi-capable of creating the music I want to create, but I can't seem to make music at all, and I can't seem to form connections with other people/get out there and perform, basically anything that's base-line necessary for becoming a musician.

And the problem is that it's all due to my own laziness.
I spent a lot of time practicing shit like sweep picking, tapping, arpeggios, scales, alternate picking, all the technical bullshit, of which I still practice now, but that's purely technical guitar wankery that I do because I personally find it easy for whatever reason.
I know that it's no longer the sort of practice that will help me progress further, but I can't seem to find the will to practice anything like ear training or pushing myself to continue to try to write full songs (of which still not even one has been made yet), the stuff that would actually help me.

I don't want to give up on music, and chances are I won't because I love music, but I just feel so inept at music and inept in the amount of effort I'm putting in that it's hard to sleep sometimes, and even at that point, the point where I genuinely can't fucking sleep due to the sheer emotional frustration of not having had given my all, I still can't seem to fucking push myself to work on the things I need to work on to grow as a musician.

I'm frustrated that I can't push myself as far as I seem to need to be pushed to get to where I want to be.
I'm frustrated and scared by the prospect that I'll never become capable of creating the music I want to create.

why do my moods fluctuate so much?
why am i so dumb?
why am i so scared?
why am i so careless?
why cant i focus on anything that isnt me?

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>>11035746
Someone had again left their stuff in the washing machine at the laundry, but when I started removing their clothes from it so that I could actually use the time I had booked, they came in and started bitching at me. Arrive in time if you abhor others touching your clothes that much, Jesus.

>>11037501
I share similar frustrations in the medium of digital art.

>>11036073
Been out of highschool almost two years and there have been a few times I've gone over six months without leaving the house.
I mean, have friends, we just never talk I guess.
Either way, I know this feel.

>>11037579
>why do my moods fluctuate so much?
Could be a lot of things, talk to a doctor or a psych
>why am i so dumb?
Dumb in what way?
>why am i so scared?
Because of the thought of how these problems are going to affect your life and where that path will lead perhaps?
>why am i so careless?
Lack of patience towards a situation?
>why cant i focus on anything that isnt me?
I've been there before, I came to realize that at least in my case it was simply that I had nothing else to focus on, this is probably a thing that'll pass in time, I can't alleviate the stress, but I can say that what you feel stressed about is okay.
Seeing a psych might also help this too.

>>11035746
Every day i wake up thinking: Dude just do something you always wanted to do, dont waste time playing vidya.
Yet guess what i do? I just play vidya. I dunno why, its sort of a habit that annoys me, that + moodswings and high blood pressure surely doesnt help me much either.
I also sometimes wish to just take a break off internet but i cant. Am i addicted to internet and games? I dont even understand why i do that cuz i am not even that good at vidya. All i do is just, kinda waste time.
Does anyone have any tips on how to stop being a lazy asshole?

>>11035746
Man people suck.

They get my hopes up and then just idle out or disappear. They actively seek me out but when it doesn't involve me doing art for them they have no actual interest in spending time with me.

I hate it.

Worst part is that if they made an effort to talk for more than five minutes I would definitely draw them something.

>>11038718
You will only do whatever is available to you. If videogames are sitting right there that means its easy to play them, if the other things you would rather do are not available, you won't do them.
So figure out what activities you would rather be doing, and make those available to you, and remove the other things. Maybe unplug the videogames and put them away in a tote int he closet.

>>11038607
I had a similar experience, where someone started bitching at me for having taken out their clothes from the dryer when they'd been roughly ten minutes late on their time... they even looked up my apartment number from the booking list to do that.

>>11038726
Shit man, I'd be your friend. I don't even want you to drew anything for me.

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Aww I wish all you degenerates the best, some anon wants you to be happy.

I don't have many problems at the moment but I've posted on lgbt me/my type and I'm scared if anyone actually responds to me.

>>11038726
I will be your friend.
No art required.

>>11036073
Congrats on finishing man.

I've got a job I like and a kid I love more than life itself, but the combination of the two almost fucking killed me from lack of sleep last school year. The kid goes down at 10 PM, my wife and I get to bed at midnight or later because stuff always comes up, and then my alarm goes off at 6:30. I couldn't even properly recover during the summer break because the kid wakes up around 9 AM most days. So now I'm gearing up for nine more months where a "good" night's sleep is anything over six hours.

And I don't see the pattern changing anytime soon either, not until the kid (and any others we might have) actually start going to bed at 8 PM and grasping the concept of "don't bother mommy and daddy on weekend mornings."

Responsible adulthood is awesome, guys.

my job has been overbooking me too many dogs to groom and i'm getting scolded for not finishing my schedule in time or rushing dogs because i still have a million more to do
it sucks, i really want to improve on my time/abilities (i can groom around 9 a day working a 9am-5pm shift without them looking choppy or rushed), but i can't when i'm being rushed to finish dogs
dogs have also been booked wrong (a standard poodle is supposed to take 2 dog slots for example) and have been in wrong time slots, fucking me over even!! more!!
my stuffs come out so fucking choppy and i've even knicked a few dogs because i've been booked 3-5 more dogs than i can handle in a day
not to mention, unlike corporate places like petsmart/petco, we don't reject bad dogs that maul you for grooms...so if i get any of those (usually it's 1-2/day) my schedules pushed back even further
i'm currently the only groomer there bc they moved the other two to mobile grooming since it's busier, and there's 2 in training (wont be ready until later this year)
the managers help me when it's like 30 till closing which .. really isn't enough fucking time to get dogs done

im just so over it
i dont want to quit but i'm legit at my breaking point
ty for the thread op. i dont like venting to friends about this. so it was nice to let it out.

Nothing satisfies me.
I have a great gf that is pretty much all i could ever want but im still cheating on her with an e gf i met a few years ago.
I make art and stuff but i want more more i want money i want fame and i know i deserve nothing cos im a selfish piece of shit.
Also i have panic attacks cos im afraid of death.

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Where to fucking begin.
>shitty dead-end job that i can't leave, can't find another one either as i lack motivation to do anything
>literally have aspergers that pretty much alienates me from everyone
>only one real life friend
>sit on my pc for about 12 hours a day trying to distract myself from my problems
I need help. I need friends. I'm a fucking wreck.

i don't want this thread to die.
what am i destined for?

>>11046266
Greatness

>>11044888
>I have a great gf that is pretty much all i could ever want but im still cheating on her with an e gf i met a few years ago.

Wtf dude

>all the people I talk to just want to meet up and bang and send nudes all the time

I don't want this

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scream

>>11045272
Have you tried making friends online?

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>tfw you realize you have no idea if your s/o would be okay with what you wanna do with yourself or be attracted to you afterwards
Haha this is not a good feeling.
>also tfw family and family friends keep getting you so much food thats terrible for you when you're trying to drop poundage but you can't just let it go bad and waste it
The best joke in existence is my life.

I don't get how any of you degenerates can get a bf, with one who actually is a similar level degenerate. Ive met many people, but they are all normie af.

I don't know what I want but just thinking about a furry bf or whatever sounds amazing.

>>11035746
I always felt a strange need to strangulate or beat people to death. During my highschool years I indulged in it to some extent until I met my wife.
She passed a few years ago and I lost most of what I cared about and became a nobody.
For some reason that urge is coming back and I'm debating if I should go murder someone or just shoot myself in the face.
I also haven't had sex in 6 months and before that I could never get any decent pleasure from it. No matter what kind of woman I fucked, I would never have an intense orgasm like I used to. At this point it almost feels better to jerk off.

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I feel lonely but I push all my friends away from me.
Have absolutely no motivation to get a job. Never been employed never really tried.
Dropped out of Uni cause of depression.
Afraid getting a job will make depressed.
Feel like a burden on everyone I live with.
Feel like a parasite.
Rarely motivated to draw or paint.
Just feel empty.

I'm terrified of losing my boyfriend because I don't value sex as much as he does.

I'm sick of people constantly coming to me with their problems, just because I am a "good listener".

Whenever it is dark, i get the feeling that something is watching me. And when I look at where I think its coming from, my vision gets all shaky and I start to have trouble breathing.

I wish I was less lazy, but I don't feel like doing anything about it.

>>11050295
That works to an effect. I've got a bunch of Tumblr friends on the other side of the world, but it seems like I'll develop a crush on anyone who even shows me the slightest bit of kindness. I've tried to stop myself but...aspergers.

Angery

>keep missing friends' birthdays

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>only graduated high school
>no college
>no job
>no car
>still live with parents
>only friends are online
I'm fucking 26 and I still don't want to do anything with my life. There's no real passion to do anything, and even if I start something I never give it more than a day's time of trying. I'm a fucking disgusting failure at basic life and I don't see myself living past 30. I'm a waste of resources

>>11055367
>keep forgetting friends and bfriends birthdays
Ebin

>>11055392
>still live with parents
dude there's nothing wrong with that

>>11055434
I feel like a leech to them.

>>11052149
People can struggle, that's normal, but when your struggling holds you back, that's when it's a disorder.
Please see a psychologist, anon, myself I was super worried about it for ages, but things went better than I could have hoped.

It can sometimes be a bit of a mixed bag as to who you get as a psychologist, but overall it's more than worth it, at least just to check out.

>>11052513
>I'm terrified of losing my boyfriend because I don't value sex as much as he does.
Talk to him about what you want to be getting out of sex vs what he wants to be getting out of sex and compromise.

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>Decide I want to take a bath for once because I damn well need one
>Expend all the effort rounding up clothes and towels and shit from the basement
>Up two floors
>Get everything ready
>Realize I have literally never used the bath before
>And it's one of those retarded single knobs now too
>Sit in the bathroom for half an hour doing fuck all
>Give up and go shitpost about it on a native smoke signaling forum
On a scale from not okay to 10 I am optimus prime dying in the 1986 transformers movie being viewed by a young child.
Why am I like this.

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>ptsd
>get randomly distracted and vivid flashbacks
>repeatedly molested as a kid, can't form relationships
>was legit afraid of sex before I had a couple gross craigslist encounters, which fixed more problems than it created
>worked with backstabbing assholes through college
>mostly mad because my friends dropped out of college, can't really talk about this outside of therapy, and that I still get reasonably upset when I remember my manager said my trip to the emergency room counted as a no call no show

Pic unrelated, but tits are always nice

i'm addicted to mind control pornography and it's controlling my life

>>11036623
>I want to lose weight but the only foods I can reliably eat are terrible for it
Eat less nigga

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>>11058566
I am.
About half as much actually.
Cut soda out almost entirely.
Switched to some vitamin filled fizzywater ages ago.
I'm being about as healthy as my body will allow without getting sick.

>>11058660
Why don't you just drink regular water?

>>11058660
>almost completely
No sugar. Only water.
What about exercise?

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There's this girl I've known for nearly ten years now. Now I love her both romantically and as a friend and I'd do just about anything for her, she's got me for life, but she doesn't share the romance aspect as I do. Now I asked her twice before and that was a couple years ago and I want to ask again. We've been seeing each other more often and genuinely enjoy each others company but I don't want to get shot down again.

I want to build our relationship to the point where it's like we're already a couple before I ask again. It'll be the last time I ask though. I can't take another blow like that emotionally. I will stick by her through everything but I recognize when I have to move on and I know I'm already past the point.

She's the one who pushed me to be a better person, she nudged me to pursue my dreams, she talked me into going back to college and I'm doing a lot better than I was years ago. The least I could do is be there for her.

Thanks for the thread OP.

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>>11059735
Because it tastes like shit and I need the carbonation with my shitty throat.
Also, vitamins and shit. And some green tea stuff.
Vitamins D, B3, B5, B6, and B12, and Biotin, all 10%. 50mg green tea extract.
I reckon all of these are good to have in you.

>>11059818
Sometimes you just need a root beer or a cherry pepsi with your food. Waters for just drinking, not as good for meals aside a few specifc combos.
Exercise is a hard subject what with the shitty throat and being horribly out of shape, gotta figure out what all I can do still.

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You know what OP, my life is going well except for a few things.
>I've stoped playing vidya games
>Actually spend my time well, like reading books
>However I'm super autistic
Like, I swear to god, I could have as many friends as I want and I've had many friends, but due to my loneliness complex I keep droping my friends and intentionally stay alone.
Not only that, but all of this knowledge I'm getting from reading books is fucking USELESS.
What's the point of reading up on knowledge if you can't even share it other people?
I feel like I'm progressing and regressing at the same time, walking around in circels, the first half of the circle I do something good and the second half I go back to point 0.

D-Does anyone in this thread want to be friends?

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have some porn to cheer you up

>>11063647
>Women
https://youtu.be/eJiUfnIzbVM

>>11035932
Look up Dan Pena on YouTube, listen to what he has to say, and you may unlock that potential
You're probably holding yourself back unconsciously through your bad habits

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>>11060049
Work on not being a fat ass fat fuck and she'll consider it
She doesn't want to be with someone that makes the chick from the ring look like a miss universe finalist

Go here >>>/fit/ and read the sticky

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I wasn't supposed to be able to happen.

>>11063647
Thanks

I like lewd stuff.
I like anonymous posting.
But fuck, why does everyone on this site have to be so awful? I don't mean awful to me, just in general.
Just because I'm degenerate and autistic doesn't mean I'm a sociopath.

>>11070578
wat
I'm not sure I understand this post?

>why does everyone on this site have to be so awful? I don't mean awful to me, just in general.
??
Any examples? Or is it just that every last person using this site is somehow all shitty people with no exceptions?
>Just because I'm degenerate and autistic doesn't mean I'm a sociopath.
W-what? Why does that make you a sociopath?
When did sociopathy become a part of this

What?
I..
What?

Hate

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Why can't I hold a conversation without my anxiety flaring the fuck up.
Even anonymously.
Christ.

>live in england
>have a crush on my best friend in america
>he has a girlfriend
>i still buy him tons of shit and call him cute all the time but he doesn't get the hint
Am I fucked?

>>11075086
Us Murricans tend to be kind of completely oblivious. My suggestion would be to just outright tell him how you feel.

I absolutely hate myself, particularly how my mind is broken right now.

I look into kink/fetish/sexual fantasy stuff to try to make me feel not just sexual arousal, but also a bit of emotional fulfillment as well. But all of my huge kinks are absolutely controlled by psychos who keep making it about murder and it makes me angry, sad, and scared. Then I go down a rabbit hole of trying to find anything online of someone calling them out, or feeling the way that I do, but it doesn't go anywhere and I feel worse.

>>11075153
What's your fetish?

>>11075193
A lot. All on the submissive end:
>macrophilia
>vore
>anything with exaggerated power play and dynamics

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I'm afraid of dying, almost constantly. Not like "oh I'm going to die in a car accident, or get shot, ect.", but rather any time something feels wrong with my body, like a stitch, or miniscule amounts of pain, I'm going to collapse helpless, and die painfully. I eat decently, and not fat, but I mostly sit on my all night, and sleep during the day.

It feels like it's becoming a mental disorder, if not already.

>>11075660
So a little bit like hypochondria then?

I can't stand this planet or most of the people on it, but I don't want to die.

>>11075980
Do you travel much? Seems like you might need a change of scenery.

I'm a worthless sack of shit and I wish I was dead.

How do I get out of this vicious cycle of being too upset at myself for failing to do anything to do anything?

I'm honestly in so much pain right now. I'm so lonely and I don't know where I can go to stop being lonely. In school you could just talk to someone you sat next to and see if you had anything in common with them, but you can't do that at a bus stop or waiting for a job interview or in a comic book store. How do I make friends? I just want friends.

>>11077208
I'm in the same boat. I want to try going up to random people and engaging in conversation with them, but I always get a nagging feeling that they'll call me a creep or something. Best of luck in any event, anon.

>>11077208
I don't have an answer anon but I feel your pain. At they very least you aren't alone in your pain

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>gives a cookie to everyone in the thread
I believe in you, you can overcome your obstacles when you believe in yourself!

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>>11077208
I'll be your friend!

Which thread are you guys from? I'm interested to see where all the trouble lies

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>>11080177
/par/ and possum.
Though, possum is real helpful. Not really trouble there.

>>11035746
just hear to say that drawabox is making me it's bitch

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>>11081561
What's drawabox?

>>11081126
Oh, are you the cute boy from the possum thread?

>>11082947
I'm not cute juuust yet.
But yeah maybe probably.

>>11083119
Lol, it's cool seeing you in other places.
And I'm sure that you're cute already. :p

>>11081126
What is /par/?

>>11082906
A bunch of drawing lessons that make you draw like a bajillion boxes in order for you to git gud

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>>11083119
>me
>cool
>in the same sentance
This is weird. I like it.
Maybe a little. Just a little though.

>>11083217
It's uh, a [goddamn mess] pokemon roleplay thread here. It's pretty alright but I've pretty much lost all interest in doing anything there. Used to be real fun. Then the people I liked doing stuff with stopped doing much or left.

>>11083410
...Huh. Neat.
I should check that out sometime.

>>11083165
>>11083462
oops i missed.

>>11083462
Okay, so are you the one drawing all of this stuff??
And man, I befriended someone from the possum thread, but they seem to just be a Pokemon roleplayer. Not sure how those 2 things mix.

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>>11083521
Oh god no, I wish I could draw like that. Which is why I wanna check that thing out.
i don't think i even have paper here.
Artist is waffleshark on tumblr.
Uhhh, I wouldn't really judge them by that, but that's mostly cause I'm like, from there probably. Depends which one you met. Most of them are pretty decent people.

>>11083746
Well, he seems nice, you know?
Except he won't get out of rp mode and I don't really do that stuff.
I figured he'd just want to talk, but he keeps calling me a Mightyena and trying to start a lewd rp.

>tfw can't vent because the people I want to vent about probably browse this board
kill

>>11083811
You can vent to me.

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>>11083809
..Oh.
Oh I see.
Uh, that might be one of the not so decent folk. Maybe. I have no idea.
well no i have one but fuckin i kinda don't like talking shit about people.

>>11083811
Do what I do, make bad decisions and do it anyways. Usually turns out for the better in my experience.

>>11083935
>i kinda don't like talking shit about people
Yeah, I understand.
I don't want to sound mean or anything, I'm just confused by him is all.
And I can't stand to just stop talking to him or something. I really would like to be his friend.

I'm unemployed and I don't want to go back to the working world. My wife and I live with her parents out in the middle of nowhere, I've discovered the wonders of farming and raising livestock (chickens at the moment, but still), and it's wonderful. But this freedom comes with the price of the guilt of my wife having to work in a shitty grocery store with shit pay (I am getting unemployment, but it's not enough for her to quit) and being given snide remarks from my father-in-law near constantly.

I have been looking for a job, of course, but I haven't been looking AS hard as I probably could be, mostly because I loathe the idea of going back to a job where I have to submit myself go the whims of someone else and act like a fucking monkey for peanuts. I don't want to be a slave, I want to be free, but I know I have to suck it up and just get a goddamn job so my wife and I can have health insurance. I just...I'm 26 years old and I haven't held a job longer than two years, and I just don't know if I can take the stress of going through the "new job > getting relaxed > too relaxed > fired" cycle again.

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I'm about to go on my final year of high school and I don't know what to do. It's already clear that i only have one true friend irl and i have others online but it feels so fucking lonely sometimes. I have a crush on a online friend but she's rarely on and I really wanna tell her how much i love her without damaging our relationship we have right now. Honestly half of the times when im doing my stuff, I feel weak and tired. I wanna get into shape and become a better person and reach my dreams but lately each day passes and I'm still a piece of shit. Lastly, I really really fucking hate myself so damn much, and I wanna change that but its so damn hard. Thanks OP for this.

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>>11084047
Well like I could take a stab at whoever it might be but like, I like being right, and I could be thinking of the completely wrong person.
And when I'm wrong problems usually happen. I don't like problems. They suck.

that being said does #0074 mean anything to you.
because i would understand your position entirely if it does.
But uh, yeah I get that, I wouldn't really dig that whole thing myself. You, unlike myself, seem to have the patience of a saint however. So maybe it'll work out if he like, cuts the weird stuff out? I dunno.
I generally avoid these situations happening in the first place.

>>11084175
Do you think you'd be able to move out if you got a job?
>>11084296
What are you going to do after you graduate high school? A job or further education/training?

>>11084557
Honestly, man, I have no fucking clue, I wanted to be a journalist or some shitty career where I can travel. I wanna aim high but honestly when I do I just fall reallll fucking deep, and it sucks man. I honestly just want to find that path where I'll succeed.

>>11084382
Nope, sorry. Different guy.
Don't worry about it, friend.
Kinda my fault for being too nice to people I guess.

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>>11085147
Well shit I have no idea then. Huh. There's a possibility they might not be from /par/, cause I only know the one guy who might possibly fit that bill, but who knows.
There's no such thing as being too nice, dude. Unless they're like, a dick. I guess.
You're cool.

>>11085255
Hey, thanks, man.
Yeah, I guess I'm just gonna see how it goes.
Hopefully he'll accept friendship without the rp stuff.

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>>11085388
Yeah, good luck with that dude.
If he's got any sense he'll knock it off and get a sweet friend out of it.

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>>11085489
Well, I better head off to bed.
Thanks again for being such a cool guy.
I'm sure I'll see you around, cute anon.

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>>11085605
G'night duder.
Thank yooou for being such a nice dude, really helped today.
Yeah, probably, see you around man.

I'm an overweight ugly mother fucker who bullshit his way to a high school diploma through an online school and was basically given an associates degree out of pity by my community college . I'm living with my parents and applying to a college I have no hope of getting into while in a degree plan I hate. Until recently I've never worked a day in my life and have proven my incompetence at even the simplest task. My thus far very supportive parents have finally cracked and voiced their disgust with me. The only fields I have any interest in are either way out of my league or have shitty career prospects. I am so thoroughly disgusted with who I am that the only reason I'm still here to write this blogpost is because I don't have the mettle to take my own life.

>>11085842
Wow. It actually feels really nice to have that off my chest. Thanks, dude who started the thread.

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I wanted to post in /vg/ but apparently there's a board specific range ban active right now and I can't.
There's a character from a game I really like and some artist made an anthro design of that character, drew some amazing smut of them and then forgot about him forever and decided to draw the popular shitty characters 1 billion times.
It's fucked up

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>work minimum wage job at pizza place
>am usually given closing shifts
>don't like having my shifts later in the evening, my entire day just feels like I'm biding my time until my day ends with work
>at said closing shifts I usually have to wash the dishes
>morning people never get dishes done because my boss only schedules a handful of people in the morning
>am expected to clean everything inhumanly fast
>on weekdays have to deal with my crabby older Mexican woman supervisor who is always irritated since she basically works 2 entry level jobs
>nothing is ever good enough for her
>am pretty sure she hates working with me as much as I hate working with her
>want to ask boss if she can avoid giving me closing shifts but am afraid she will get upset at me or give me next to no hours
>brother who has worked there longer than me said don't do it and that my boss has fucked people's hours when they asked to not work certain times
Working closing shifts there is one of the only things on this entire planet that genuinely upsets me

>>11080177
HG

>>11035746
my girlfriend broke up with me because her female friend told her she was missing out on life by only having slept with me. didn't work out to be sunshine and rainbows for her apparently in the getting off with other guys thing. came begging me to fuck her so she could finally have an orgasm. also turns out female friend(ex now) is bi and wanted to be the one getting in her pants. shitty kind of 2 weeks.

>>11035932
i also feel like i'm not living up to what i'm supposed to be doing.

>>11060087
why not drink the green tea? you could add a little honey to it too.

>>11060087
what kind of out of shape are we talking bout?

>>11070944
i think they're referring to some peoples " go kill yourself" attitude.

>>11075572
well the vore part is obviously going to be mostly violent. the macro is relatable , iv'e fantasied about an amazonian women. and the exaggerated power play shouldn't be violent if done right.

>>11075819
i second that diagnosis.

>>11076715
there are lovely travel programs that will have you getting out there and meeting people and seeing how beautiful the world is.

>>11042879
First: my kid goes to sleep at 8:30 and wakes up at 7.
Second: 6 to 7 hours of sleep is considered the right amount of sleep, anymore and you'll feel lethargic and not well rested.
Third:I work night shift. I get off work come home to just woken kids and then sleep, so i understand your plight. Don't worry everything will settle.

>>11044446
were here for you anon. lots of love!

>>11036623
>>11058660
>>11060087
>>>/tumblr/

>>11044888
maybe you should talk to a psychiatrist. sounds like a mild form of depression.

>>11053379
no one says having a crush is a bad thing. just be careful how you act on them. heck you can have more than one crush at a time!

>>11055367
i forgot my own birthday. totally serious. i was told by my sister.

>>11055441
no your not. tho the no job thing probably has them concerned with how you might take care of yourself if something where to happen to them. there is nothing wrong with having online friends it's perfectly fine.

>>11070578
Because you should probably kill yourself or at least fuck off back to leaddit, you fucking fairy.

>>11055613
yep tits are appreciated. also go ahead and vent more if you need to. we understand.

>>11058547
what a paradox! .

>>11058566
not less, just smaller portions. instead of three meals try four or five smaller meals.

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>>11087453
I do have more than one. There's this cute boy at work who I'm going to get to notice me today.
Also here's some unrelated boobs

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>>11075086
Would you happen to have a non-feminine benis? Have you considered he's just not that into your benis?

>>11085842
its not mettle it's cowardice. the weight thing can be taken care of easily. most people bs'd our way through high school. most of us didn't realise we needed to be learning anything or that it would affect shit. colleges are a dime a dozen. with some patience you can get into any one you want. fuck the degree plan then and take whatever class interests you, even if its just on a whim, you might find some random thing you like. your parents are concerned, they're parents. it's gonna happen for the rest of there lives. just cause it's a shitty career doesn't mean you won't like it. ask doctors, it's shit hours and a shit ton of hard work, but they like it.

>>11085868
its a nice kind of anonymous therapy!

>>11087555
YAY!! BOOBS! thank you.

>>11087555
>'fingers crossed'
go get 'em!

>>11075117
yep completely oblivious! and not subtle too!

>>11074507
fear of rejection.

>>11077208
actually it's as you just said. conversations with random people. most of us want to talk to people but just don't know how. thats why it's awkward around strangers. we don't want to be judged or look at funny but we all want to connect with others, even if its random people. try opening up with something obvious, like the weather. cliche' but it works. or offer them gum, even if you don't like to chew gum yourself. everyone likes getting things. be polite while talking, cause it's gonna be awkward. really, really awkward. just don't force a conversation if they don't want to talk. nobody likes being chatted at or having their ear talked off. try and be yourself, yes another cliche', you will be more genuine and relatable in the way you talk about something you like rather than something that might be a fad going on.

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Hey guys, OP here. I just fucked up about half an hour ago, big time.

I... Cheated on my BF. I wasn't thinking straight and decided to do it, even though I've done it in the past and regretted it almost immediately after. I've only ever told him about the first time by accident since it was also my first time having sex (We're in a long distance relationship and we haven't been able to meet after a year of being together.) and it was a horrible experience for the both of us.

I don't want to tell him because I'm afraid that I'll lose him, which I'm sure I will if I tell him I've done it again. If only I could meet him, then maybe I'd stop doing this. I just have no self control...

And you're all welcome guys. Everyone needs this at some point.

>>11087938
oh shit!

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Here ya go

>>11088146
Oh shit indeed. And that's not mentioning all the other issues I've had with the multiple times I've attempted to have anon sex (more times that I can recall but it's only worked a tiny amount because I either never get anyone or come to my senses in the end) or the other issues in my life such as being a fatass who has friends IRL but doesn't talk with them and instead just sits in front of a computer all day instead of doing exercise or actually having a social life.

I'm a fucking mess...

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>>11087555
Boobs!

>>11088206
well i understand to an extent. seeing and touching someone is completely different from texting and talking through a phone or computer.

>>11087938
Are you a guy

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>>11087210
Don't have any, don't know any that's good cause everyone I know irl is like, anti-tea, and I'm not really fond of hot drinks. Not big on honey either.

>>11087223
Uh, very. Haven't done much of anything physical since I got out of school like.. four years ago? I think? Maybe?
The only strongish part of my body are my legs, and I've got trash stamina or whatever.

>>11087425
Nice meme.

>>11089452
I am but I don't see how that matters.

>>11089456
Fuck on back to dumblr anytime, faggot.

>>11087679
He's on holiday for the next week. That sucks. But I'll be ready when he comes back!

>>11090196
i hope we can keep this going for that long. I wanna know what happens.

>>11090505
This thread has already lasted a few days so it might happen.

>>11089459
Just wondering.

>>11087938
Tell him.

Cheating on a beloved has no excuse. There is no easy way out. If you're willing to cheat on someone tell them you're not interested anymore before having sex.

Since you want to keep the charade of a relationship going you could lie. But you'll only feel guilt and self loathing around this person if you do. No relationship can survive if you feel that way.

>>11089456
>Uh, very

Very isn't very descriptive, anon.

If you'd pass as average weight in baggy clothes you're doing well and only need a better dirt and mild exercise.

If you're spilling over the sides when you sit down on a chair we'd need more extreme solutions.

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>>11091847
Ohh, you meant weight wise. I look decent in a hoodie, just got kind of a gut going on right now, that's the main thing I want gone. Everything else thinning out is the secondary objective.
Already working on the diet aspect, which is going better than expected, still need to quit being lazy and forgetting to look up some exercise stuff.

>>11091807
I want to tell him but I've already been through it before and it was a dark time for us. I don't want to go through it again. Never, ever again.

And I do genuinely love him. It's not some kind of charade. It's just so difficult for me since he lives in an entirely different continent from me.

I honestly want to tell him so I can atone for what I've done, but I'm sure our relationship won't survive it this time... I don't want to lose him...

>>11082947
>>11083119
I kind of want a picture now

>>11091999
simple exercises like crunches and squats can help get rid of that. you don't even have to do a lot in one go, just do like 20 of each, it will only take a couple of minutes.

>>11092013
ditto

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>>11092013
>>11093030
Respectfully decline.
haven't even sent my boyfriend one yet, it'd be kinda weird, you know?
But uh, picture nathan explosion with a rounder less defined face and a beard. That's pretty much it.

>>11093004
Neat, guess I'll try and start doing those before dinner or something. Probably add some other stuff over time too.

>>11087279
I still end up finding only cruel stuff. I think it would be better if I had a partner to do sexual roleplay with in real life.

>>11092011
You've already lost him, you're only delaying his realization.

>>11097279
Posting in my own thread was a bad idea. I didn't need this, not now.

>>11087938
Tell him.
And then never date anyone again unless you can keep it in your pants.

>>11098424
Dude, why the fuck did you cheat? Why is it so hard to at least like even mention to your boyfriend that you wanna fuck someone because of the distance between you two? What the fuck is your problem to actually cheat and go behind the back of someone you say you love? I'm not gonna be fucking kind and try to coddle you for this, cheating is reprehensible and you should know what doing that to someone does, you can't say you truly love someone then go behind their back like that. That's fucked.

>>11099004
I did mention it before but he was apposed to the idea unless I was dating that person. (We're in a polyamorus relationship.) I didn't actually want to date anyone else though, just anon sex.

Doesn't matter now. I'm going to tell him when I get the chance. If we stay together, I'll be overjoyed but I'm expecting to get dumped. I deserve it.

>>11099072
>We're in a polyamorus relationship
Okay, never mind, your relationship was doomed from the start.

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>>11098424
You're selfish.

>>11099113
Those words are too kind for me.

>>11036623
you should consult a Psychiatrist

I liked this guy on some Discord server an irl friend invited me to and he told me he was straight. Turned out he was fucking two dudes at the same time. When I told him I genuinely really liked him he basically told me "I'm sure there's a good guy somewhere under all those quirks." When I told the irl friend about how I'd been lied to she shamed be for saying I was lied to because "sexuality is fluid and confusing" so I fucked off for a while, cutting everyone off including her, until she convinced me to befriend her again, but I'll never forgive her, nor will I forgive her for her complete disrespect for my privacy (she screencaps everything I say on the internet and I've said things to her that are far too intimate) but I can't just fuck off forever because she has all this dirt on me and I hate it and I just want to be happy and not completely isolated for once in my life but it'll never happen because I had to be born some autistic fuck who can't drive and has been semi-regularly been mixing alcohol with valium when times get really tough.

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>>11099328
I'm actually doing a fair deal better now than I was then.
Still need to talk to my boyfriend though.
i'm not very good at this relationship stuff.

OP here. I told my BF about what I did. He was actually very understanding and saying it was not my fault and all that. Just made me feel worse.

In the end, we just decided to be friends for now. Hopefully I can get myself under control and be with him again.

My friends keep giving me shit for being a virgin. I'm not one involuntary. Women like me, as do men, and I think I could probably get laid within two weeks if I tried.

Problem is I'm not sure I want to. I have a Fuck load of baggage related to sex and the thought of doing it is terrifying. But I also have a compulsive need to be respected and to like... win? And right now me being a virgin feels like loosing.

Should I just get a tinder and hookup in college? Should I even tell the girl if I do?

>>11103677
Your respect for yourself is more important than the respect of your friends.

Sex looks like an accomplishment from the outside, but it's nothing but more baggage without something more behind it. When you find someone that's right, sex won't be a terrifying thought. It'll feel natural, as it should.

fuck me running why do people have to be so shit.

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>tfw no passion for anything
>tfw no talents
>Favorite activity is sleeping
Why am I like this? Everyone has SOMETHING that they enjoy doing but everything is exhausting to me.

>>11093171
>haven't even sent my boyfriend one yet
What? Why not?

>>11035746
nothing makes sense.

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>>11106358
Well, he hasn't asked for one, I kinda reaaally don't like how I look, he hasn't sent me one either, and uh, kinda worried if he'd like me or not how I am now.
i'm really banking on all of this thinning out my face even a little, just enough to break the roundness of my head.
I'm 80% sure it'll be great if that works out as imagined.

>>11109854
B I N N Y
I
N
N
Y

>>11103988
I know. But I'm sort of worried I'm never going to find a person like that, you know? Especially since I never even date because I'm that fucking scared of this.

This fucking blows. God dammit.

>>11093004
>>11093171
I did a similar thing a couple of years ago. I started off with 20 sit-ups and squats a morning, and 20 at night. When it didn't feel like it was enough I increased it to 40 in the morning and 40 at night. Currently I'm on 60, and haven't missed a day.
Progress comes slowly. You're not going to end up as a jacked bodybuilder overnight. But it's important to take that first step.

> check for student inscription on the college website from august 1st to august 17th
> we're sorry, the subscription service will only be available later
> stuck in moving hell on the 18th
> check on the 19th
> we're sorry, you have missed the inscription window. You can no longer pay for tuition fees online. We can no longer guarantee your classes will have openings

Who the fuck makes a service this important available for one fucking day. God damnit.

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>>11114764
That's kind of the opposite of what I'm going for but I get whatcha mean. I just wanna be skinny right now, I can figure out the rest afterwards. Unless I get a large influx of cash randomly and my mother can't snoop through what I spend it on. Then I can really get down to business.
My legs are still sore from right after that first step, though.
stairs are hell.

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>>11115205
I'm 111 pounds and only 5"10, so my BMI is incredibly low. I don't know why I just stop but I guess by now it's habit.

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>>11116199
260 and 5'9", 38 BMI. Christ.
This sounds a lot worse than what it actually looks like on me but shiiiiit, that's really not good.
this is gonna take a while.
fuck.

>>11116613
245 and 6'2". I'm down from 260 by doing the crunches and squats. took me a little bit, but even this amount makes me feel a lot better.

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Anxiety attacks are fun.

Why is everything so dry lately? Even the things I used to be excited about feel empty.

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>Total social recluse now, even online
>My 10+ year old internet friends are all too busy for me now, except for one
>My 10+ year old IRC server is filled with people who weren't there in the good old days and is sort of a shambling zombie compared to the memories
>Stopped using F-List because I was too anxiety ridden and self-doubting to erp with others and using it as a friend simulator seemed weird and was constantly jealousy inducing. Also i'm bad at writing.
>Try to reconnect to old friend, even start using skype because he refuses to use anything else, but he is never around and when he is he only wants to erp with me, not anything else
>No idea where to find cool places to hang out, and even when I find a place, it's like i've completely lost the spark to know how to integrate into a new social group - I feel constantly ignored and get ripped up by jealously that other people are having fun and more 'popular' than me
>The one internet friend who is always there and hangs out with me daily is great and I think i've developed feelings for him, but i'm terrified of ruining things, so we've still never voice chatted or anything to this day, even after like half a decade+ of friendship. I'm constantly terrified that he'll get a family and stop being around, or die, and if those happened I think my desire to end myself would skyrocket from negligible to 'I know how to get to the roof of my 12 story apartment'

At least I have Kamen Rider I guess.

Bip

How the fuck do you talk to people

>>11123557
Stand in front of them and press A

>>11124203
Stolen joke, but I still like it

>>11124203
>tfw rolled 0 CHA

>>11125448
Now they'll never talk to you again

>>11124203
What if they're far away

Friends with a wannabe marine and I find out that he slept with his bro's gf. I am disgusted with this so I keep laying the truth onto him as banter because he has a massive ego and then he blocks me because the truth burns him like holy water.

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I finally got a good idea of what I want to write, but I can't pull myself out of the "idea guy" zone and actually write it down. I want to start a blog to stir up interest in my project and maybe get some supporters and possible buddies out of it who'd help me with things that're out of my league, but I just can't will myself to do so.
I knew one of these days my procrastination would get in the way if something I actually feel passionate about.

I spend upwards of 12 hours a day on the Internet.
Fucking help. I can't get out of this cycle.

>>11114952
If the system really is that demented then there are probably loads of other students who are in the same boat, so they'll probably give you some slack. They're not going to suddenly turn away dozens of students like that.

What's your field?

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>>11105614
Yes.

I haven't done anything for years since I dropped out of college I'm a NEET and everything I've tried has failed, languages, tourism, cooking, my only motivstion in life is to get money so I can buy games and comics also it's been more than 10 years since I drew anything and I hate everybody more and more as time goes on, I'm starting to even avoid e-friends and stop using Internet communities I love. Fuck me

>>11131716
>it's been more than 10 years since I drew anything
what's stopped you?

>>11133177
Me, cause I just gave up. I just stopped caring, more and more over the years util I just flat out don't do stuff for my own benefit. I just gave it up and haven't seriously grabbed a pencil in literally more than a decade. I recall some teachers telling me stuff that made me think I wasn't going to make a living by drawing, people who drew much better than me, and received more praise, so maybe that was part of it. Even if I admit I'm the peoblem. I just don't do things at all. Nowadays I put all my energy into finding videogames and playing them, but if it's for my own benefit I might try something but I give up in weeks or months if I'm lucky. Anyways I don't think it was a big loss, I recall alittle earlier than the time I gave up all I was drawing were mock Digimon and video game characters.

>>11035746
>had ideas for years
>wanna make comics and stories
>friends tell me I could probably make a good living off of it and get a large following
>don't have the drive to put the time into it
>or even draw for that matter these days

>working a 5am to 7pm job instead since it's a guarnteed paycheck

>>11063647
Got a link for that?

>>11035760
>TFW I first-post in many threads and 99% of the time, they're overshadowed by the posts just afterward

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>Possums being cunts like usual
Yeah not like they need help or anything.
Tell them to go fuck themselves because they happen to be using a set of images they like or some shit. Because they're totally ruining your thread with literally no theme other than being worthless sacks of shit by having civil conversation with others.
Nah it has to all be australian shitposters all the time and people with fake problems whining with no rhyme or reason and not even asking for advice or help.
Fucking aces mates.

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>>11129448
I know that feel all too well.
I've had this idea for a project for almost a year, and I can't get myself to actually start writing. All I have to show for it is like 20ish pages of worldbuilding. I really want to dump time and my soul into it, but every time I sit down in front of a blank page, all the "Fuck yeah I wanna WRITE" thoughts I had during the day disappear.
And deep down I feel like I'm only doing this because I want to get popular and respected and have video essays created about my work and pretend I have friends through a community that I lead and I realize that maybe what I think is passion is really just thirst for attention and what I thought might be the thing that gives me a purpose is a fraud.

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I have fantasies of brutally torturing people as well as other symptoms like paranoia and personalization that, while mild now, I'm scared will turn into full blown psychosis if left unchecked.
However, I'm terrified of going to a shrink and telling them that I want to hurt people for completely non sexual reasons and that I feel like I'm constantly being watched by hidden cameras.

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>>11136436
I deeply feel the feeling that you are feeling. We can be failures together.

>>11135116
What's a possum in this context?

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My family has changed their lives so it doesn't offend others. They say it's to ensure they don't get randomly attacked by people who take offense to them. I say it's cowardice. By changing who you are and what you stand for to please others, you have submitted to their will. They will say all day long that they haven't submitted as they symbolically lay down and get stepped on. They say they are free because they can speak their mind in their home. That's not being free, you have just convinced yourself that the prison that you fashioned is a wide open field. It doesn't make it so. Like I stated before, I'm not saying they have the right to go out and be obnoxious about themselves and push it on others, but hiding it constantly for fear of reprisal is like saying it no longer exists. I guess what they say is true, good times create weak people.

>>11138309
>>11104433
There's a few that like to bitch at people for being generally pleasant as well.

A recent quote;
>Other people being happy/having a good time makes you get angry

Well, fuck these threads nowadays.

They do this fairly often.
And then they also actively encourage actual shitposters.

>>11112688
Man, I see threads like this all the time all over the Internet, and even from people I work with in real life, and I've consistently come to one, and only one, conclusion:

People put way too much importance on sex and/or relationships.

We're all people. We're all hurting and lonely. Stop focusing on the bad things, and just focus on making someone happy. That's all you gotta do. If everyone just spent five minutes making someone else happy, and we had a big ol' happy orgy across all of the world, that would solve a whole lotta problems.

I guess put more simply, don't be afraid of anything, because the other person is just as scared. They always are. Some people succumb to fear, and others use it to succeed, but we're all afraid deep down. That's just who we are as a species.

Do me a favor. Go eat or drink or buy yourself something you like. Relax. Take it easy, and when you feel ready to make that step, just remember that we're all afraid, and we're all waiting for someone to make the first step. Why shouldn't it be you?

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I'm a sociopath who burned down every single bridge with my group of online friends because I couldn't handle my obsession with one of my friends
I thought it was best to just forget about them and move on with my life but I sent a friend request to the one I liked and now here I am, one month later
They accepted my request but haven't initiated any conversation with me, which is understandable

I want to tell them I added them for peace of mind and that I'm glad they saw me as enough of a friend that they gave me another chance because just having them there means the world to me, but after what I've said and done it just seems manipulative

I guess this isn't really a vent because I'm not mad about it, just puzzled about what to do. Stay silent and have them never know? Or tell them and risk them getting upset and blocking me?

.. I miss when we were just friends and could talk about things together.

I have no motivation to do anything. Whenever I make a call to do something that takes a bit of effort, I always lose effort as soon as I do it and go back to playing vidya, browsing 4chan, and getting off to fetish porn. Since I often do stuff like this with 4chan, I disappoint quite a bit of people each time. This applies to stuff involving drawing, writing, and the like, none of which I'm good at at all (I'd love to be good at them), but I try enough to impress people. Even outside of 4chan, I have a really low work ethic in general. Maybe I'm just addicted to a bunch of stuff, but I can't stem out of it at all, no matter how much I try.

I can't handle reality. The only way I can get through my day without experiencing extreme anxiety is to be drugged off my ass, and even then I turn to the Internet and video games to escape from this hell we call life.

>>11134628
Sadly not, I think I found it on /gif/

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I woke up last night to me having pissed all over my shower, with the doors closed(my bathroom is connected to my bedroom with open doors).
I didn't understand a single bit of it, HOW could I possibly willingly piss all over the place?
I cleaned it up the moment I had awoken from this ordeal, put my victimised towels, bathroom carpet thingies, and my bathrobe into the washer, and then showered and went to sleep.

When I woke up I looked it up and
It turns out that well.
I sleepwalk because I drink too much, and peeing in unusual places is not uncommon.
I have now disavowed buying alcohol in large quantities or certain strengths, and am from now on only allowed to buy specialty beers in low quantaties (2 max) from time to time.
I'm going to miss it but the trade off isn't worth it.
>mfw I woke up
Fml.

>>11143821
>>>/x/

>>11143912
Why?
Isn't /x/ all about conspiracy theories?

I have no money to fix my car. I cant drive my car as I don't have a driver's license, which requires 100 hours of driving. My sister and I don't have the hours because both parents are too busy doing govt. work and managing office politics.

I need to fix my car, but that requires lots of money.
I want to fix the crumbling family house,
but that requires money.
I want to upgrade my workflow, but nobody has bought my 3 toy keyboards in months,
which means no money.

I have no money.
"Get a job!", you say?
Try living in Rural America, then come ask me about job hunting.

I am a mentally damaged individual, so I can't do retail.
All of the tech jobs are already taken, and open ones are for obligatory high school seasonal training.
All of the lumber mills are shut down, beyond ones operated by single people and families.
All of the farms are heavily biased for mormons or hispanic families, not to mention the likeliness of brushing against rattlesnakes, and shovelling cowpat (A.K.A., cowshit).

The job market is competitive, and I cannot compete with 4,000 other people, who outcompete me in employment.

Even living in a rural city of 6k, I live under a rock. Socially, psychologically, and mentally under an underpass.
I have an art portfolio, but the local gallery has a heavy bias towards pretty pictures of pretty horses and pretty birds doing pretty things in a pretty environment, and I've been in there plenty of times. The closest actual art galleries are all 3 hour drives away, which my parents obviously have zero time for that.
My music has no area.

My parents are people who still believe it's the 1980's, where you get a local job on the spot. Hey, check out my epic resume
>High School Graduate
>No College Degree
>Mentally Disabled
>acne brighter than a rotten peach
>No Driver's License

Thank god for the state-based job listings. Even if I qualify for less than 4 of them, and am a less suitable employee than hundreds of other applicants, it exists.
I need a job.

Yes, I have a vent related to the 2D and 3D art world.

Why do people have a fascination with Futanari in every kink/fetish? I mean, are there that many lowkey bisexual or homosexual people on the internet?

I mean, no matter where I go, what I see on the internet. At some point I come across a dickgirl variant of a character.

It's very annoying and always drawn in the worst way as well. Sloppy, sweaty, veiny and overall horrible.

Vent done.

>>11036800
Nah. You have feelings are they got hurt. Wish everyone would throwing around Autism around like it's the common cold.

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>>11141795
It's like looking into a mirror. I'm even starting to not even play vidya and just browse 4chan on my phone. I've been here since I woke up. I turned on the console but not even that motivates me to start playing.

How much do you draw and write, anon?

Work sucks. They fucking forgot my birthday and made me work an extra half an hour to clean up someone else's problem when they should've done it in the first place.
Grrrrr.

>>11147089
Do you enjoy celebrating your birthday?

>>11146404
Not much, really, nothing to the point of proficiency. When I was young I was praised for my writing abilities, but in truth, my prose is clunky and unnatural-sounding. All that I write on my own time is lewd stuff, all centering around one really big fetish I have. With drawing, I pretty much suck ass at it. I'm not much better than a slightly-artistically-capable fifth grader. I bought a cheap tablet and when I draw with a pirated Paint Tool SAI I have to rely on a very high stabilizer just to produce anything decent for my skill level.

I would like to get better with both, because someday I'd like to realize a dream I've had all my life, but that's pretty much impossible with my current motivation level. I'm so lazy sometimes that I don't even perform basic hygienic acts in the morning.

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>>11147199
I do. Today I had a big cake which looks like a skunk. It tasted nice but I wish I had some friends to share it with.
Pic related, it's the cake

Welp today was my first day at university and I commuted all the way there only to find out that every concievable parking space was full

So I parked about 3/4ths of a mile away, walked all the way there, only to find out that my class was inexplicably cancelled for no reason

I drove home just in time to watch the eclipse and make some good out of bad only to realize the sky was completely covered in dark clouds and I couldn't see shit

And now I just found out that my credit card is being declined because who the fuck knows

/wanna die/

>>11147828
That's good you still enjoy celebrating your birthday. I'm sure you will found amazing friends that will celebrate many birthdays with you.

>>11147503
>All that I write on my own time is lewd stuff, all centering around one really big fetish I have.
I'm the same. Probably cause we're both browsing /trash/. I have done some okay stuff, and some non-lewd RPs, but as soon as they ended or others lost attention that was it. I dropped so much writing stuff. Only okay stuff I've wrote was for other anons or those RP sessions, and I have functioned okay in the jobs I've had. But as soon as something's for myself I just lose interest and drop it. I even applied for a drawing course, which cost me quite a bit, and ended up getting sidetracked and sleep deprived cause I was too addicted to online fuckery so I stopped going. I basically can't function if it's not at gunpoint. I'm destined to be a slave or die under a bridge once my parents kick the bucket.

>I'm so lazy sometimes that I don't even perform basic hygienic acts in the morning.
This too. This is all so familiar to me. I don't even care about my well-being. Even now my head has a weird tingling, my wrists hurt and are cramped and my vision's foggy.

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>>11147089
>>11147828
Pay no mind to the people at your job or school for forgetting your b-day, anon. They either don't care or didn't know. It's always been like that for me and I don't care. What matters is your friends and family, so make the most of them. Be glad you still got yo enjoy yourself, I'm glad for you too. That's a cute cake.

>>11147828
Damn, anon. I'd share it with you.
Hope your day gets better, buddy.
Happy birthday.

>>11145053
IM NOT FUCKING DONE YET

My family as a holisitic whole is an implosive religious and economic disaster waiting to happen. The oldest child is the only one who went on to do better things in the form of dentist work. The younger sister is a part-time koreaboo high school dropout who cannot speak of anything but of korean shit, but it's okay if she knocks on peoples doors on Saturday mornings, because Jesus loves her for that.

On the other hand, I am a mentally retarded autist stuck in the deep abyss of messageboard-based injokes and memes, but am just self-aware enough of this tastelessness to no longer talk about what I do, which leaves me with absolutely nothing for me to discuss, unless joking about some obscure artist from Milwaukee. Because there's nobody to talk about obscure, esoteric shit, the only way to talk about that is shit like messageboards and forums. I don't even have any friends to do VOIP calls with.

My sheer ignorance of subtle events was probably how I even got through school in general. I lived under a dark enough rock that I did not even know that the schools even had 'cyberbullying' in the form of 'gossip accounts' on social media. All I did was watch stupid gaming videos and skits on Youtube. Being a retarded mess, people knew that teasing or making fun of me was akin to kicking a dog dying from leukemia, or directly punching down. Plus, everybody knew each other as being from a small region in population.

/blog

>>11148255
>>11148380
>>11148413
Thanks everyone, that made me feel a lot better. I may have to go into the cake-making business after all.

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I fell in love with a random fuck that I met over the internet
I know this kind of shit never ends well but I can't help but to feed the feeling
I get the feel that he knows pretty well about it but it seems like he doesn't give a shit and plays along as if it was to give me a glimmer of fake hope, then I fall for the bait and take it as an advance and I might get something "meanful" out of it. I managed to "shrug off" the feeling for practically one entire year but right now I can't control my impulses anymore

>Worth to mention that my relationships history isn't the cleanest things in the world

And aside from deluding myself to take that tiny shred of imaginary hope I have yet to acknowledge that I got a crush for this very same guy three fucking times. I managed to say "fuck it" and bury it twice before but right now it's consuming me inside out.
I can't enjoy my time with my friend both irl and in the internet because I keep thinking about it, I don't want to bring them down with my spaghetti autistic issues that would be solved by turning the computer off; I lost night of sleeps trying to come with an easy way to fix this; and I can't address it to him directly because I know for a fact that it'll end badly thanks to multiple different sources.

All I can do is keep going further on the spiral of
>Go ahead and sends multiple messages worth of genuine feelings disguised as "semi-shitposting romanticism"
>Recieve equally "ironic" responses and get that momentary burst of happiness
>Have FeelsBadMan.jpg moments because I know it'll never be bad
>shrug crippling depression off by messaging again and the circle repeats.

Insert casual "I want to kill myself" meme here

>>11150013
Follow your dreams, man.

Are we going to need a new thread soon?
I hope it doesn't die while I go on holiday for a few days, this has been super helpful.

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>>11117504
Hey, I'm glad it's working out for you!
Found out I've already dropped five-ish pounds, so I'm pretty stoked. And now my mother at least knows I'm trying to lose weight so I'm looking forward to a treadmill and one of those bike things now.
thankfully they're super cheap cause people buy them and never actually use em.

>>11152288
If op doesn't drop us a new one I might make one, cause, yeah, it's been real nice and helpful.

>>11152911
I agree these threads are nice, but how does this thread differ from the Habits thread other than the lack of possums?

Every time I jerk off I see something and it reminds me of my ex. I still end up jerking off but I'm sad while doing it

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>>11155595
I am probably the worst person to ask a question like that, but I am sort of really active in here, so uh, it's just generally nicer and more helpful being here rather than there?
Also nobody is yelling at me for how I post.
Or yelling at other people from being from another thread.
Or just yelling in general.
positive possum is super cool though.

Good night

>get fetish feels again
>try to find if there's anyone else who feels like I do
>find nothing again

>>11161968
Tell me more, anon.

>>11161968
see this stuff
>>11075572
>>11095416

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current mood

bunp

bep

I get to spend a week sharing a hotel room with a total stranger, joy....

>>11169895
Clearly the best advice here is to have gay sex.

>>11169895
Why

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guess i'll bump with a blogpost sorta thing.
Having an italian mother is sort of detrimental to the whole dieting thing sometimes.
I'm not sure she totally gets the concept of "I'm eating half of what I normally do." It's probably just a mom thing, gotta make sure your kid's fed and all that.
At least her cooking is pretty good, and my workout routine is going well.
Nothing hurts like it did after the first day, so that's pretty cool.

we're getting close to the end

yawn

>Meet new person
>They're 5 years younger than I am, so it's a little odd to me
>Really want to help them out and make sure that they have a good life
Why do I feel this way

God damn fucking state trooper had to give me a ticket instead of a warning because state troopers are faggots. Any city cop would've let my minor speed infraction go. Fuck state troopers.

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sipp

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I cannot find a job for the life of me despite doing everything I can to increase my employability - courses, programs, volunteering when I can. It's that horrible cycle of 'you need a job to get experience but experience to get a job' and that lots of jobs these days require shit like fluency in 10 languages and the ability to perform open heart surgery with kitchen utensils. I never go for jobs that are clearly out of my league yet I hardly get interviews and don't get past those, and being autistic makes it even harder to get a job to the point I think it's just plain impossible. I've even applied for labour jobs like warehousing and cleaning and even then I'm being rejected (though this is likely because I've been to university); I'll do almost any kind of job just to have some structure and purpose in my life.

On to of that, I want to finally move out and live independently because I don't want to feel like a parasite to my mother but I can't even consider that until I get a job. I want to improve my life in many ways, like going back to the gym, yet the benefits I'm on is practically nothing so going back to the gym is simply too expensive. I'm stuck in a hole where I'm unemployed and poor, and I can't find any way to get out of this hole that doesn't cost money I simply don't have.

The only things that are keeping me from contemplating suicide is videogames, anime, porn and the internet, and even then they're having less of a preventive effect as time goes on.

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I just realized, I think I have a thing for blue girls.
Literal and figurative.
huh.

lining sketchy artwork is a motherfucker and a half.
pencils are pure unfiltered evil in a stick.

bunp

>>11152288
Well I'm back, I'm surprised to see this place still active.

>>11190451
Me too

y a w n

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One of my eyes is slightly higher than the other.
I have some acne scars on my back and shoulders and no matter how hard I try scrubbing those areas they don't go away.
I don't know how to start conversations with people that aren't just bullshit small talk.
I don't like sharing personal information with people which makes it difficult to make any new friends.
I can't talk to girls.
Even if I could I can't get a girlfriend because in my culture our parents end up finding girls for me and i just pick one after talking to each of them and finding out which one I like the most. It's not really a bad system imo but I won't get married until at least age 25. Right now I'm only 18 and it's quite lonely for me.

Anyway, those are just some jumbled thoughts that have been annoying me. Probably no one will even read this but it feels kind of nice to have written it out.

>>11192831
I believe in you anon

I'm going to meet up with this guy three times my age for my first encounter in quite a while. We catch on really well and like the same things but I'm super nervous because of a similar previous experience. What do I do?

>>11195247
Analyze what went right or wrong the last time you did this, and change your behavior accordingly?

I'm moving to a different country and I had to break up with my girlfriend.

I feel like shit, she was fucking perfect. Can't get over it and have no idea what to do.

>>11196676
Don't you have Skype or anything?

I'll make the new thread so we don't have to hit bump limit

>>11198108
>>11198108
>>11198108

doot