ITT: Pokemon Are Real. Universe 2. What is your most important

>>10949162
>>10949219
>Something watches from a nearby alley, the faint crackle of electricity barely audible.
>>10949287
(For accuracy you just take the accuracy of the move and divide it by 10. Everything below that number hits. 0 is counted as a 0 for the purpose of this.)
(We use Pokemon Showdown's damage calculator for... well, calcing damage.)
(Outside of that there's not really much. Whether or not speed is a factor is up to the battlers.)
(We kinda try to keep OCs under level 75 - particularly when they first appear - but you can totally have them get above that, as long as it's onscreen. Anything else that's relevant got said by >>10949319 )

>>10949330
nuking kalos so it doesnt become unova 2

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>>10949219
>Annoying monkey does not understand polite requests
"Gimme, gimme!"
>Pansage uses Seed Bomb

>>10949287
(Damage calcs based on the games, using the Smogon damage calc)
(Accuracy for all moves is rounded down to the tenth, rolling for if it hits with the last post digit. It hits if the digit x 10 is lower than the accuracy, crit on hitting doubles)
(Speed isn't much of a thing yet, sorry)

>>10949357
(Whoops, forgot to mention but... We use the post number for rolls. That's what I was referring to with accuracy.)
(For things that aren't Pokemon battles most people tend to go with evens/odds for success/failure on things)

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>>10949272
(Yeah I'm gonna ignore the toss at memes, sorry.)
(Slash will have to make his own way back to Orre and Scout is free to bump into him if he wants.)

>>10949287
Two days isn't that long, like I said it was only a quick nap.
I'm still a quiet sleeper though, apparently, so that's nice.
Also yeah that sounds good, weren't you going to show me the way to a place where I could hop on a boat?

>>10949330
Is finding out what to do with myself an interesting goal?

>>10949330
Stop what's coming Saturday night, ese, by any means necessary.

>Somewhere in the rural areas south of Santalune, an Orrean creep in a hoodie shakes off the effects of last night's "festivities".
>Time to hit the road again, off to Lumiose this time. Last two post numbers until he arrives in town?

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>>10949385
>The seed bomb passes through the Reflect, reducing it's damage!
>Pansage Seed Bomb vs. 248 HP / 236 Def Meowstic-M through Reflect:8-10 (4.9 - 6.1%) -- possibly the worst move ever
"Ah, much better, now then, would you kindly STOP MOVING!"
>Eros used thunder wave!

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>>10949330
I can manage to type, more or less, but I wish to learn to speak.
It's a talent I'm working on, though I may require invasive outside aid.

>>10949357
>Whups didn't mean to ignore you just didn't realize you were replying to me, stupid phone
>Eros doesn't notice you, too focused on the battle.

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>>10949444
>Pansage is too distracted looking at the "shiny" to notice the cat readying up a move
>The electric wave hitting the monkey by total surprise, he is unable to move this and the next turn
(Note to new players: dubs and above count as crits, effects in cases other than damage up to the battlers like in this case)

goo

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>>10949398
sure, she picks a map
it will be a bit of a trip but it's possible
but first we will have to go out of home, but you need to hide, so my mom doesn't see you

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>>10949577
"There we go, now the battle is won."
>Eros used psyshock!
>0 SpA Meowstic-M Psyshock vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Pansage: 90-106 (113.9 - 134.1%) -- guaranteed OHKO

>>10949539
Like that Meowth in the TV?

awaken

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>>10949577
>>10949623
"Woah, woah! That's real great!"

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>>10949357
>Not noticed by the Pansage either

>>10949623
"EEEEK"
>The psychic shock renders the annoying monkey unconscious

>>10949565
>>10949693
>Yeah, I know he's not going to be noticed at this moment
>Just giving a forewarning so it's not like
>Out of nowhere

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>>10949657
Something like that.
Expressing more than basic needs to humans is not easy.
Yes, I wish to express more than basic needs to humans. Strange, I'm sure. If I can manage to reliably make an "L" sound, I'll be quite happy.

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>>10949683
(Sorry man I can't tell what that is from the picture)
"Oh, hello, I don't recognize your species, what are you? What's your name?"

>>10949693
"Phew, that's over, let's see what the Holocaster rated it as..."
>He pulls the device out of it's pouch, fiddling with it in his paws
"Huh, apparently I have bad habits..."

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>>10949607
Oh don't worry about that, I'm stealthy.
Also I don't mind walking, that's fine.
Should I just go back to hiding under the bed until she leaves or should I try and sneak past?

>>10949730
thats a windchime

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>>10949735
hmm, i hope so, maybe i should get a big bag and hide you in there
but i'll try this, i'll go distract her while you get out by the door

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>>10949693
"Heal, heal, let's heal!"
>Sigilyph pulls out a revival herb and stuffs it in the monkey's mouth.

>>10949730
"Sig-Sig-Sigilyph!"
>It pauses, breaking it's rhythm.
"Oh, I don't have one!"

>>10949713
Hurry up then, with the meteor and all that.

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>>10949766
Very stealthy.
I'm not sure a bag would help though, my spines and claws would stick out.
If I get seen I'm not going to stop running!
>Slash attempts to run past without getting noticed, gonna say it'll take at least a dubfail to trip over or crash into something

>>10949330
I don't have a most important goal, I have cobstantly more ambitious goals.
But for now, you could say that it is establishing a base of operations. And spending time with my friends due to recent events.

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>>10949852
I'm hoping that someone, somehow, will deal with it. I cannot, regrettably.
I might as well enjoy some time out and about with my Trainer in the meantime.

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>>10949788
"Why woul- oh dear..."
>Eros puts the holocaster back in it's pouch, pulling out his Dex instead and taking a picture of the two while he can.
"Pansage and Sigilyph, Unovan native Pokemon, of course."
>The Meowstic puts the Dex away again.
"I am Eros, a Meowstic from Kalos, and that pansage was, er... I am not certain, it began screaming at me and seemed to attempt to steal my devices."

>>10949957
Your hope is worthless, none shall stop the meteor.

>>10949999
W-What meteor?

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>>10949999

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>>10949915
>she goes to the kitchen with her mom, she looks bigger than the drapion the sandslash was talking to, she says talk her and is distracting the mother, and it making her face away from the hallways making flawless way to the door

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>>10949788
>Annoying monkey springs back to life
>First thing it sees being the bird
"Orb..."
>He seems fixated on the bird for some reason

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>>10949999
>record scratch
>stop
did i just hear a bitch sayin some dumb shit

>>10949999
You say that, ese, but somebody's got a plan. Even if you don't see it yet.

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>>10949999
Implying.

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>>10949977
"Been here my whole, whole life!"
>The windchime shrugs.
"Weird, weird, who knows?"

>>10950022
>Windchime jingles, getting into it's rhythm.
"Orb? Orb? I got no orb!"

>>10949330
Making Valjean mine <3
also farting on Eros till he leaves, he's annoying

>>10950093
do it pussy youre weak as fuck

>>10949444
>>10949607
>>10949730
>>10949977
>roll to fart on his face

>>10950093
Eros is cool

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>>10950008
The meteor that is heading towards us as we speak, fool!

>>10950023
...I do not understand.

>>10950035
Let them have their plans, I will make sure they fail.

>>10950055
Wonderful, you again.

>>10950111
anon xplodes

>>10950111
did you just shit your diaper

>>10950125
Won't our lord and savior Rayquaza just get rid of it?

>>10950102
>>10950122
I PM'd him, he's lame and uninteresting

>Lumiose's lights are beautiful.
>Too bad the hoodie-wearing foreigner doesn't have time to sightsee.
>Olivar goes looking for a Mr. Anton, and he knows the guy's a 'cleaner'.

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>>10949977
>Are we still doing the cop thing?
>Anon isn't here yet so
>WE-WOO-WE-WOO

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>>10950125
I will put fish hooks through your nipples and drag you from Unova to Gateon if you don't shut the fuck up.

>>10950158
Who cares?

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>>10950125
of course you dont
that would require having a brain
maybe i should go blow up pluto instead i dont want to catch the stupid

>>10950168
what the fuck

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>>10950131
>>10950135
FUCK
This wasn't part of the plan

>>10950177
Uh, he'll do it. Even the smuggler I know won't work with him anymore, he's a psycho.
>Anna: get up, stretch, try to slip out the door unnoticed.

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>>10950061
"Well, we'll find out soo-"

>>10950163
"Oh dear"
>Meowstic ran away!

>>10950172
you do apparently if you're still replying Eros
or should I say meowmix :^)

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>>10950021
>Slash is waiting outside in a nearby bush, trying to be stealthy

>>10950218
>roll to fart on his face

>>10950160
>There's an overweight janitor milling outside the Richissime
>The "Anton" in his nametag in display

>RIP faceclaims, caught phoneposting

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>>10950061
>Lunging for the bird's midsection
"BIRD ORB"

>>10950218
>>10950236
>time for more phew perfume
>gassy BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP rings out from my tushy
>"tee hee, hope you liked it senpai"

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>>10950168
Please do so.

>>10950125
Fuck this.
>Knocks himself back to sleep

>>10950241
>RIP Olivar's faceclaims, too, all used up in the last thread yes to 404
>Olivar puts on a worried expression and texts someone before approaching the man.
"Bonjour. I got a problem in a hotel room around here. Partied too hard, you get my drift?"

>>10950295
>This janitor speaks, and with that a waft of overpowering mint...and something rotting
"Room number?"

-Anton, the trashman

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>>10950218
"Huh?"

>>10950250
>Borb get.
"HELP, HELP! WHAT THE HELL?"

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>Kat wakes up on the floor in Kira's appartment, groaning.
"Last time I ask a Psychic for help..."
>She sits up, wincing as she pushes on broken hands.
"Still can't remember... fuck."
>She looks around the apartment, wondering what to do with her potentially not real day.

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>>10950213
what the fuck
okay new plan
de orbit and crash pluto into you instead
if you dont explode youll drown
perfect

>>10950348
"One-oh-seven, ese. Not Richissime. I can tip generously, in cash or by getting in on round two, if you're game for that. Oh. Round two isn't a Pokemon."
>Ollie puts on an evil grin, even as he fiddles with his phone.
>It's time to set the trap for this guy.

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>>10950358
>Monkey grappling the bird orb
"BORB BORB BORB"

>>10950360
>roll to fart on kat

>>10950360
>roll to let out the yellow gas on the yellow wondr

>>10950408
>>10950414
>Trying to run Emrys out because you can't spy on him
He mad

>>10950438
i have no clue what youre talking about

>>10950360
>BRAAAAAAAAAAPP

>>10950379
>Grin detected
"Yeah yeah let me get ready"
>Lickitung Lv50 is out
"No pokemon? I need to eat, man"


-Anton, phoneposting slowly

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>>10950376
u wan sum yellow?

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>>10950231
>she keeps talking and hugs her mother and waves at her
well, all the goodbyes dealt with and she didn't saw you, hopefully going out i guess it will all be safe
>her mother say outloud from inside the house "BE CAREFUL MY LITTLE GIRL, FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND, TREAT HER NICELY"
h-how did she...!
>she is visibly red now

>>10950438
nah thats not me tell jiji hi

>>10950458
Lemme Smash.

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>>10949330
Getting my dick wet

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>>10950438
Yeah keep feeding the shitposters
You guys wonder why this thread doesnt get new posters
>>10950485
>>10950515
Reminder to not reply.

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>>10950360
>Looking up from the table, Sun gives Kat a lazy wave. Always one for conversation, he tries to talk between slurps of noodles...
"You know... You could always try to get a job!"
>... but it's probably a lot harder to understand. He is, after all, slurping noodles every other word.

>>10950485
How, faggot. Explain your shit.

>>10950456
>Ollie flexes.
"I can throw one in, but round two's a college girl. Illegal immigrant, can't go to the cops, and completely unsuspecting."
>Ollie texts again.
>"Got him. Draw eyes when we get there."
"So. I'm in the import-export business - you know anybody who might like to come over to dinner sometime?"
>Ollie puts on a practiced fake grin.

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>>10950458
i dont want yellow
i like the rings though
maybe earth will get blue rings from all the pluto bits

>>10950528
oh shit its the best cactus
sorry cacturne but this one is cuter

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>>10950555
Bad taste.

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>>10950528
Yet here you are replying anyway you dumb nigger lmao
just admit you're thirsty for my cock already

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>>10950555
.hey loser
.can you hit unova for me
.thx

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>>10950535
"I don't remember what I used to do, though..."
>She frowns, trying to remember ANYTHING.
"I guess I could do something simple, deliver pizza?"

(If HB really wants to make me scared, he can send a dildo to my doorstep.)

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>>10950385
>>10950358
>Remember the thing that was watching earlier?
>The racket draws its attention again, and were you listening you would hear the consistent click of multiple sets of legs as it approaches.
"...."

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>>10950385
"WHY, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?"

>>10950614
"..."
"You, you! Give me a hand, hand!"

>>10950550
>Trashman calms down a bit
"Good good, first have to pass them through the Noisemaker, don't forget that, invite the Florist too."
>the Lickitung seems nervous
"Easy, boy"

-Anton and his similarly trashy Lickitung

>>10950605
hb =/= diaper shitting birb man

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>>10950605
"That's a start!"
>He quickly polishes off the rest of the ramen, pushing it to the side for now.
"You can always try something like... McDonalds! It's better than nothing!"

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>>10950628
"Boooooooorb..."

>>10950614
"Bug?"

>>10950605
>>10950661
>roll to UB portal floyd

>>10950637
"Will do."
>Ollie comes up on the hotel, looking for security cameras.
>One last text: "Go for the mouth."
>"Got a way for me to get in contact? Saul didn't tell me about 'em last time we talked."

>roll to get motivation

>>10950643
No shit Sherlock, he seems to prefer higher class shitposting.

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>>10950580
hey i still like you but like
look at that cute little shit
mar mar is adorable

>>10950594
oh shit senpai noticed me
can do

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>>10950594
But your AI is still in the server farms there.

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>>10950700
.nice
>>10950710
.its reverse psychology
.dont worry
.im a doctor
.of dick
.a dicktor if you will

>>10950673
>Ollie does not notice any cameras

"Thats weird, Saul is all too happy to get customers in contact."
>Squint

-Anton

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>>10950663
>>10950628
>The Galvantula looks down at one of its legs, raising and twitching its pedipalps.
"... no hands."

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>>10950661
"Yeah, something basic, well, actually..."
>She looks at her hands again.
"Kinda can't work until these are healed, I've got a few weeks, unless you know a way to speed it up that doesn't involve a psychedelic lion."

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>Scout is scouting Melemele for that goddamn Pheromosa.
>Rolling.

>>10950737
>Anna comes up, with a big fake grin on her face.
"Ey, Papiiii~. This the guy, huh~?"

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>>10950663
>Can a borb birb even shove monkeys off.
>JingleBorb shakes as hard as it can.
"Off, off, get of!"

>>10950752
"Legs, legs, you've got tons! More than me, more than me!"

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>>10950768
>He smiles back.
"You know it chiquita~.
One blow for my hometurtle right here."
>He forks over a wad of cash.

>>10950768
"Cute girl, could almost eat her up hahahaaaa"
>As he laughs, the mix of mint and rot in the breath flares up again

-Anton, the smelly

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>>10950734
very nice juice senpai
can i still slam dunk pluto into it though
that sounds fun as hell

>>10950822
>She grins evilly, and pulls him into an open mouthed kiss.
>Meanwhile, Ollie discreetly tries to count Anton's Pokeballs, and to send out his Gengar while Anton's too distracted to react in time.

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>>10950734
Damn, Juice.
New base coming along nicely, you can relocate there next week.

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>>10950788
>Dubs
>Monkey shaken off and stunned
"Booooooooooorb..."

>>10950848
pluto's a bigger hoe than ben
and yandere as fuck
you dont wanna smash that fampire

>>10950852
>Up this close, Anton's breath reeks like a hastily covered up garbage disposal
>It's hard to not gag

>Ollie counts two pokeballs, one being the Lickitung
>Anton notices nothing

Anton, walking trashcan

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>>10950788
>It looks back and forth from the leg to the bird, pedipalps drooping in a sad gesture.
"You want my leg? But... I need it."

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>>10950753
"Nebby can do stuff with nerves if he cares but um..."
>A sheepish smile spreads across his face, Sun rubbing at the back of his neck
"I don't think he does, and I don't think he can fix bones and muscles and stuff... Maybe I can um... Set you up with an apartment until you get a job?"

>>10950940
>roll to chop off leg

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>>10950962
>Squint
"You can just do that?"
>Alarm bells start ringing in her head.
"Makes me think this is still a dream, no way someone has that kind of money that easy."

>>10950906
>Anna glances over Anton's should at Ollie, and winks.
>All hell will break loose.
>Anna pulls Anton to a wall, and tries to put a knife to his throat.
"SSSHHH."
>Meanwhile, Ollie signals to the Gengar to hit the Lickitung.
>252 SpA Gengar Dark Pulse vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Lickitung: 90-106 (54.5 - 64.2%) -- guaranteed 2HKO

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>>10950869
"No, no! Not a borb!"

>>10950940
"You, you..."
>Jingling ceases.
"You're kinda dumb!"

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>>10950989
>Sun purses his lips in an indignant pout, glaring at Kat
"It wasn't easy! I had to become the Champion, and that's like... A never-ending job!"

>>10951049
>>never ending whoring yourself out
>>job

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>>10951049
"No, I mean, I just happen to get out of that nightmare world, and meet a rich guy that offers to help me out like that? It just seems too easy!"
>She clutches her head, groaning.
"I just want to fucking know what's real anymore!"

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>>10951011
>The pedipalps droop further, nearly brushing the ground
"I'm... dumb? But... I've been learning..."
>It draws its legs closer to its body, huddling on the ground
"It didn't work?"

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>>10950873
this is correct
but i happen to be very into crazy
gonna smash

>>10951010
"Wha.."
>With the knife to the throat, he finally shuts up, if just for a bit
>He tries to grab Anna's knife wielding hand

>Meanwhile, Lickitung uses Knock Off on Gengar

-Anton, having a bad time

>>10951168
>Anna keeps struggling with him, trying not to lose her grip on the weapon.

>0 Atk Lickitung Knock Off vs. 4 HP / 0 Def Gengar: 22-28 (6.8 - 8.7%) -- possibly the worst move ever
>Ollie walks over to the struggling pair, cracking his knuckles, and the Gengar hisses.
"Penumbra, Dark Pulse and finish it."
>Same calcs as above.
"Don't take it personal, the kid's too psy-blasted to know better."

>everyting in this RP is just people trying to stab each other with knives now
great pokemon rp

>>10951246
go to bed bones

>>10951246
( There are two knife-stabby characters, and they're weirdo dragon cultists. After this arc there will be no more stabby from either of them )

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>>10951246
>stabs anon with head
Better?

>>10951224
>Anna's grip doesn't faulter, but Anton keeps his grip for now
>Rolling to push back the knife

>Lickitung has been knocked out

Anton, struggling

>>10951285
wow you got me its me bones
>>10951293
>>10951306
yeah ok
ill just forget about sephiroth and scout

'Sup, /par/.
I finally got outta goddamn Kanto, and to Unova.
Anybody know a Groomer or Breeder who's hiring?
None of that fly-by-night shit for Breeders, though, you feel me? I'm trying to go legit.

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>>10950765
>Nope, no bug.
>Scout sighs and heads back to the Hotel.
>1,000P is left for Sun outside of his room before Scout heads, Buzzwole in tow to get a boat to Unova.

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>>10951335
Just say you wanna rape some Pokemon, goddamn
Makes it a lot easier

>>10951318
>gives anon head

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(Appeal: Can we stop the planetary shitposting, thanks.)
(I like JUICE and STAR but the meteor and every planet shitposting here feels like it's really stepping on their stuff, thanks.)
(If not I'll just go kill myself, thanks.)

>>10951313
>Grappling with a college girl: not hard.
>Grappling with a college girl, a crazy guy, and an Alakazam that's just been swapped out for the ghost: harder.
"Tell me who the other two contacts are, ese, and you live. Simple."
>( OOC, I'm trying to accelerate this plot due to RL time pressures. )
>>10951411
( I promise I don't do any. )

>>10951404
>>10951411
hi bones

>>10951427
>Rat Bastard -
conession: I was Mars yesterday

just lie ok

Rat Bastard -
>Mistype "won't" as "don't"
>Get HBed
fug

>>10951436
>bones doesn't even know how to copy and paste right

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>>10951427
(thank)
>>10951431
>>10951436
>>10951459
>>10951460
nice to know were beyond saving

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>>10951088
(You missed out on the conversation about how the Leagues for different regions work, didn't you?)
(The Leagues in Alola and Unova are directly tied to their military, meaning that the Champion of these regions is someone being groomed for the position of 5-Star general should war break out.)
(Haven't been exactly sure how that would affect him so I've been kinda neglecting showing that. I might have him be completely unavailable on weekends and doing class type shit during the day, idk.)
>>10951318
(Didn't both of those people say they were going to chill with the knife games?)
>>10951411
(I haven't done any but uh... Appeal heard, anon. I won't do any in the future. Probably not gonna pick up any other robots either, would feel like I'm kinda ripping them off.)
>>10951099
"I mean... Isn't that what the IP would offer you, too?"
>He runs hand through his hair, digging at some of the old wounds and huffing
"I just... Kinda don't like uh... Having a random angry chick sleeping on the floor and yelling at me all the time?"
>A smile spreads across his face, although it's debatable if it's real or fake.
"But uh... I would've felt bad just kinda... Telling you to go sleep on the street..."
>>10951367
>Left without telling Sun goodbye
>Fuckin ripperoni

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>>10951411
ok ill just go fuck myself then

>>10951474
(Why don't we just move to discord or some shit? It weeds out the shitposters.)

>>10951481
bye bones

>>10951483
(Discord RP only works when everyone is focused in one single area and makes playing multiple characters impossible.)
(So basically... Unless we make a Farsail 2.0 it wouldn't really work.)

>>10951427
"Ghhhh..."
"Coumarine gym trainer, the Florist"
"Noisemaker north of Shalour"
"Please don't..."

Anton, almost bleeding

>>10951483
(Would fuck over thread only posters and mystery chars)

>>10951501
>>10951510
(Yeah, fair enough.)

>>10951510
>Ollie nods.
"Thanks for making this easy. My mission from the gods still demands something, though."
>He gets an evil glint in his eye.
"Geller, fry his head enough to blur out the kid. Mija? Do it."
>Grab and slice, and run the fuck away.

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>>10951483
>>10951501
This thread loves me too much to move to Discord only <3

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>>10951478
"Why would the IP offer me anything?"
>She sinks back to the floor, squeezing her eyes shut.
"I'm sorry, I just... you'd be angry and freaked out all the time too if you couldn't remember leaving a nightmare and suddenly you're safe and things that don't add up keep happening"
>Kat groans into her casts again
"You're nice, got it, I accept, I just... when do I wake up being used as a tool by a jellyfish, you know?"

>>10951551
"GRAAAAAAAGHHHHRRGGL"
>The tongue stinks of years of flesh of dubious origins and quality, and the occasional bout of cannibalism
>The trashman has been disposed off
>Only the noise of gurgling blood remains

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>>10951478
>IC he didn't really want to bother them but, y'know, we'll see what happens.
>Last two numbers x2 to get home.

>>10951613
>The pair make a fucking run for it. Time to skip town.
>3/5 cult attacks carried out, and they're running for Coumarine.

>>10951639
>Meanwhile, in a pokecenter in Lumiose
"Tact, vision... are they related?"

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>Rolling for how much of Rustboro can be destroyed with a fly by Draco Meteor.

>>10951800
(I mean, I wasn't expecting dubs, honestly. I thought I'd get the 777. That's a lot, right?)

>>10951335
I'd check in Nimbasa, there are many Kalosians living there and you know how fashion obsessed they are.

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>>10951589
"Because uh... I think that the force that deals with UBs kinda... Help people recover from them?"
>His tone is questioning, the boy rubbing his neck in a gesture of nervousness
"Um... I guess you'll wake up in a jelly when you stop fighting?"

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>>10951800
F

>>10951800
>>10951814
(Destroying canon towns is kinda a bad idea and dubs isn't enough to destroy a town so... Maybe it just absolutely fuckin wrecks a large portion of the residential area?)

>>10951827
Thanks, man. I'm heading there now.
Here's hoping I can get right with things, you feel me?
I'm sick and tired of being a shit, and I wanna do something decent.

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>>10951845
"That makes sense, I guess."
>Another sigh escapes her lips.
"I already gave up, really, so if it hasn't happened yet, it should happen soon."
>Kat shakes her head, looking up.
"Might as well make the best of this life."

>>10951917
(Go for it, I don't really mind.)

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Anyone want any Hot,,,,,,,, Dogs?

>>10952021
Depends on what's in the meat, you feel me?
I don't wanna eat no Eevee hotdog.

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>>10952021
I'll take one!

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>>10952021
Depends, where are you?

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i already miss scout

>>10951926
Kinda late now, but, keep the hopes up.
Never too late for redemption.

>>10952120
>roll to fart on his face

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Hit me up in Alola if you're looking for a job.
People with dicks preferred.

>>10952120
>roll to fart on Eros' face

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>>10952319
What kind of job?

>>10952120
>roll to fart on the meowmix

>>10952120
>roll to fart on the psychic cat

>>10952120
>roll to fart on kat

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>>10951941
>Sun flashes her a bright grin, hopping off the chair and headed to the door
"That's the spirit! Let's go get you an apartment room!"
>When he opens the door he's faced with 1,000 P.
>The boy glances up and down the halls, brows furrowed in confusion
"Um... Did someone forget this...?"

>>10952120
>roll to fart on blue boy

>>10952120
>angry roll to fart on him and break my curse

(What is the origin of this shitpost?)

>>10952511
(a samefag being le epic funy shitposte)

>>10952511
( Somebody wants to run a specific RPer off, and is literally shitposting to do so. )

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>>10952428
>The Faller gets up, nodding
"Thank you, really... I'll need a way to get around too, uh, I don't think I can walk everywhere, and once I get a job I'll probably need to drive back and forth at least..."
>She also shows confusion, though her still bloodshot eyes make it look more like angry squinting.
"That seems incredibly odd."

>>10952120
>>10952462
>ding dong this bitch is sentenced to death by farts
>eagerly eye my prize and bring my ass close to his face, my sphincter stretching for the storm about to come
>"You're mine now, get ready for my special performance~"
>play Little Drummer Boy with my rumbling stomach
>braps in tune with the beat as each fart comes out, pa rum pum pum pum
>once he's been gassed I grip his cheeks and violently make out with him

>A hoodie-wearing old man and a young woman arrive in Coumarine City, catching their breath.
>"So, Gym Trainer... You got this, mija?"
>The young girl nods.
>"Let's... let's talk, first. Once this is all over, I might have to take the fall. You won't remember this stuff, okay?"

>>10952661
>takes out cock and rapes her
>"Ay que chula, you chose to be raped man"
Anton, the rapist

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>>10952120
a trap.

>>10952319
For what? and why

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>>10952755
Me, or the hot dog stand?

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>>10952380
>>10952755
Three guesses.

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>>10952813
I'm in Alola, but I'm gay.
Wishing you luck, OK?

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>>10952809
that hot dog stand is a trap! I know one when i see one.

>>10952813
.... you need some heavy lifting?

>>10952809
>roll to fart on his face

>>10952809
>roll to fart on Eros' face

>If you switch to the newly established Lunas News channel, you will see a scientist walking into view.
>"Alright, turn the damned screen on."
>His eyes widen when he notices that he's live.
>Without missing a beat, he extends a pointer as the screen flashes on, mannerisms now all business.
>"This is the daily simulation and news report, here live."
>He taps the screen on the corner, and a live, grainy feed of the meteor appears.
>The meteor itself is glowing slightly, and three shining points can be seen on it.
"A new development came up while we were tracking the meteor. As you can see, there are three disruptions in the camera feed, almost as if the meteor is emitting light."
>The scientist allows himself a near imperceptible shrug.
"There is a lot of discussion on what this actually is. None of the research facilities contributing data have any concrete reason for why this is occurring."
>He collapses the pointer with the flick of a switch.
"I don't have a clue either, but we have more projected landing data. Show it."
>The low-quality video is replaced by a large, intricate chart.
>Apparently, the time of impact has not changed, remaining Saturday night.
>The scientist continues listing off various pieces of data.
>Eventually, the news block ends.

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>>10952813
You need people to have sex with?

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>>10952857
I figured as much.

>>10952932
Well, hell.
I hope that glowing shit's a good sign.

>>10952809
>roll to fart on-
>nevermind the Salazzle's here
>you're good for now

y is meowstic hot?

>>10953071
two fluffy tails

>>10952661
(Antags here, ready when you are)

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>>10952847
>>10952857
>>10952969
Nevermind.
>>10952984
yeah

>>10953114
I do not believe anyone will risk going near any of your kind. Perhaps you should reconsider.

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>>10952975
Yeah some hot dog stands try to get you with their D grade hotdogs and overcharge you! it is a scam!

>>10953114
Don't nevermind me! what do you want?

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>>10953071
This is why

>>10953099
>Olivar sighs.
"We're gonna deal with this guy, then I'm dealing with the last guy alone. You take the lead, and I'll take the fall. Mija. Trust me."
>Time to start searching for a Gym trainer with a thing for flowers.

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>>10953170
I don't think that's the type of trap I had in mind, I think that was bait for me to get caught by police.

>>10953208
>There's a trainer with a Sunflora and a Bellossom not too far away
>Idly fidgeting with a pokeball, awaiting trainers

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>>10953305
>Anna steps up.
"Hey there! You up for a Battle?"
>She pulls out her Pokeballs, formulating a strategy in her head.

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>>10953348
>Nothing unusual yet
"Sure, levels?"

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>>10953402
"Thirties."
>Anna looks unusually serious for a Gym challenger.
"And... How about we raise the stakes? You're a friend of Saul's, right?"

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>>10953479
>Bellossom has been replaced by a Roselia
"Saul? I see you're a girl with connections"
>She smirks
"What is your deal?"

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>>10953533
"Three on three, Double Battle. If I win, you owe me a serious favor. If I lose... let's just say I'll be recruiting a new team lead."
>Anna smirks.
"Sound fair?"

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>>10953610
"I think I know what kind of favors, lass"
>She laughs to herself
"Bright, you're out"
>The battle begins, with Sunflora (Lv30) leading

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>>10953695
>Anna smirks.
"Sorcier, go!"
>Braixen (Lv35) is sent out!
"Use Fire Spin!"
>240+ SpA Braixen (No Move) vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Roselia: 50-62 (63.2 - 78.4%) -- guaranteed 2HKO
>85% accuracy, so misses on 8 or 9, plus 1/8th of HP damage at end of turn.

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>>10952565
"It uh... wouldn't be the first present left for me..."
>Like any sensible person would, the boy pockets the money, mumbling to himself
"I wonder if it was the guy who left the cube... Um... Anyway!"
>To the front desk they gooooo...

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>>10953796
"Bright, stay awake and drain it"
>Sunflora uses Giga Drain
>252 SpA Sunflora Giga Drain vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Braixen: 21-24 (21.6 - 24.7%) -- guaranteed 5HKO

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>>10953915
"Sorcier, hang in there and keep the Spin going!"
>Fire Spin is a multi-turn move (4 to 5, I'll roll that now with evens meaning 5), so no to-hit roll, and same calcs.

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>>10953840
>Wait is this a hotel or an apartment complex?
"Cube? What cube?"

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>>10953982
>Sunflora could not take the heat and is knocked out
>A recall later, Roselia (Lv35) is out
>The odd lady doesn't seem happy
"...Thorns, your turn. Make it sleep."
>Roselia uses Grass Whistle
>Accuracy 50%, hits on 0 to 4

im gonna be sad if scout dies/gets dropped

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>>10954141
>Anna swears.
"Cirrus, get out there!"
>Noibat (Lv45) is sent out!
"Use Super Fang!"
>90% accuracy, deals 50% of current [not mox] HP.

>>10954254
hoooooooold on. Cant you not attack upon switching out?

>>10954277
( The other player in this fight did so, so I followed their lead. I'll talk this out with them, OK? )

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>Odd lady isn't happy at the sight of the smol dragon of 4x Grass resistance
"Thorn's, root in!"
>Roselia uses Ingrain

>>10954277
(So did I)
(I'm allowing it to keep the battles fast, at least for now)

>>10954254
( Anna's player here,need to put this on hold. My failfucker cousin needs a ride home from work because we can't trust him not to drive drunk and/or high. )

>>10954345
(Gotcha, drive safe)

>>10954071
>Uhhhh
>It's an apartment, OOC fuck up, ignore me
>Just have Kat lead the way because I fuckin honestly wouldn't know much about the difference between the two outside of hotel = paying the day and I really, really don't feel like looking that shit up atm
"This cube!"
>Sun holds up the small zygarde cube, pressing a button on the front and listening while it plays 'Ocean Man'
>>10954231
(I mean, I will too, but if their plot ends in Scout dying then that's how it goes.)

-Sun, role player currently phonefaggin and too lazy to fuckin grab images

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bork

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>>10954422
>Let's just say rent is 350 Unovan a month, with a safety deposit of 1000 Unovan.
>And the suite she gets is at the very top of the building
>Best hope she doesn't break her legs trying to kick a Guzzlord or something.
"That's... weird, can I see it real quick?"
(No, she can't do anything with the cube, Zygarde is already in Complete Forme, though I guess if he was here any human could use it to teach him moves)

>>10954749
>No, she can't do anything with the cube
i mean tbf zygarde said it didnt do anything besides hold music

>>10954749
>This cube doesn't do that anyway. It's just a music box, roughly the size of a necklace pendant and currently being used as such.
"Uhh... I guess..."
>Sun seems really hesitant to hand it over, slowly sliding it over his head and dropping it into her open hand.
>He watches her closely, the way someone who just handed off their puppy or child does.
-Sun, should probably move images into his phone at some point

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>>10954790
(I missed that, oh well, better to clarify anyways)

>>10954851
>She fiddles with it with her clumsy hands, still in their casts
"It's... I dunno, seems like a weird thing to leave at a door."
>She shrugs, giving it back.
"Anyways, uh, could we... uh, go look at cars?"
>She facepalms, groaning
"God I sound like a child, memory loss and having no money sucks... Shit what name did we register the apartment under!?"
>When you remember that Rider has been stealing money and shoving it into her bank account and she's actually mildly well off

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>>10954334
>The Noibat screeches excitedly.
"Cirrus. Air Cutter."
>248 SpA Noibat Air Cutter vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Roselia: 78-92 (86.6 - 102.2%) -- 25% chance to OHKO
>Anna grins. This is going pretty darn smoothly so far.

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>>10954983
>Roselia has been knocked out
>The odd lady looks like she is going to lose it, barking orders out loud
>Bellossom (Lv40) is out
"Hula, bring down that thing already! Sludge Bomb!
>252 SpA Bellossom Sludge Bomb vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Noibat: 59-70 (56.7 - 67.3%) -- guaranteed 2HKO

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>>10955125
"Cirrus, that's enough!"
"Mila, get out there!"
>Zangoose (L35) was sent out!
"Crush Claw, now!"
>252 Atk Zangoose Crush Claw vs. 0 HP / 0 Def Bellossom: 40-48 (32.7 - 39.3%) -- 99.3% chance to 3HKO

>>10954945
"It kinda is a weird thing to leave at a door, since uh... It used to belong to Zygarde."
>The necklace is swiftly slipped back around his neck, the boy thumbing it a few times before continuing
"I was gonna ask Kira about it at some point but uh... I kinda forgot..."
>The grin that follows is sheepish, Sun playing the matter off with a chuckle
"I uh... I told them your name was Jane Doe? Isn't that the name for unknown people...?"
-Sun, not-quite-IP-Agent

>Wake up.
>'Did I... oh, right.'
>Sit up, legs down on floor.
>'She's already gone.'
"Seek - Seven-two."
>'There she is. Not my target, though. 'least she's alive."
>Confirm that belongings are still in place.
>'Time to go.'
>Head out through door after locking.
>Look over balcony.
"Seek - One."
>'There they are.'
>Search the sky.
>Pull out slip of paper containing Anna's number.
>Open phone.
>Send message -
- I won't be at the hotel room. You have the other key, so if you need to crash there, you know how.
>Close phone.
>Start heading to Vaniville Town.

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>>10955165
"That belongs to a legendary Pokemon and it just... wow that is really not helping the "all this is real" case."
>She snorts
"Jane Doe feels so wrong... say, I was in a hospital for a day, they probably figured out who I was!"
>She tugs at her gown, looking at the tag
"...Sinnoh General Hospital? That's generic, but there should only be one, right?"

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>Meanwhile on the other side of Hau'Oli, a mechanical doll walks the streets, examining everything it can get it's hands on.
>It finds a broken princess doll on the ground, and holds it far longer than anything else.
>Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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>>10955159
>The stabcat misses
>The evil lady laughs
"Kiss your stupid fox good night, it will come with ME!"
"Hula, LEAF STORM!"
>252 SpA Bellossom Leaf Storm vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Zangoose: 120-142 (113.2 - 133.9%) -- guaranteed OHKO

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>>10955252
( I genuinely forgot Crush Claw could miss. )
>Anna panics.
"Cirrus! Get out and Air Cutter this thing!!"
>248 SpA Noibat Air Cutter vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Bellossom: 56-68 (45.9 - 55.7%) -- 74.6% chance to 2HKO

>>10955222
"I've uh... met a few legendaries! Like... Nebby! My lion is a legendary Pokémon!"
>He eyes the tag, tapping a hand against his chin
"Uh... yep! I think so, anyway! I uh... don't know it's number or anything but... that shouldn't be to hard to find?"

-Sun, former Mahina bait

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>>10955277
"Your psychedelic cat is a legendary?... I..."
>Kat.exe has stopped responding
>Restarting...
"What the fuuuuuuuuck. If this is an a dream, the jelly is a retard."
>She grips her nose in her cast, trying to punch the bridge
"Yeah, Google should know the number."

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>>10955272
>Evil smirk
"Are you going to cry now, lass?"
"Sludge bomb, again"
>-2 252 SpA Bellossom Sludge Bomb vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Noibat: 30-36 (28.8 - 34.6%) -- 4.6% chance to 3HKO
>Will knock out on crit or 0, due to previous damage

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>>10955372
>Nope.
"CIRRUS! AIR CUTTER, NOW!"
>Anna's practically hysterical, but this blow should end it.
>248 SpA Noibat Air Cutter vs. 0 HP / 0 SpD Bellossom: 56-68 (45.9 - 55.7%) -- 74.6% chance to 2HKO

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>>10955391
>Evil smirking lady not so smirking after being cut down
>Cirrus barely hanged on to life, just enough to let loose an AIr Cutter placed just enough to knock out the Bellossom
>Evil Aroma Lady Donna has been defeated

"What is the meaning of THIS?"

>>10955323
>Sun looks up from his phone, giving her a confused glance
"He's 11' at the shoulder and has a butt load of powers, but you thought he was just a normal cat Pokémon?"
>This info should be readily available, so unless he gets a dubsfail they find it
- Sun, weird food addict

honestly i wonder the shit the pokedestined could get away with

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>>10955446
>Anna calls back her Noibat, astounded that he held on.
"Get some rest, Cirrus, you earned it..."
>She looks at Evil Aroma Lady Donna wit ha vicious glint in her eye.
"I win. Bitch."
"Let's take this outside and settle up."
>Text the Orrean outside, "coming out"

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>>10955476
"I thought he was like, the Alolan Pesudo-Legendary, like Metagross or something."
>The number is easy to find, and assuming Sun calls now, he can get all the info he needs.
>Jane's real name is Kat Armstrong, and the hospital would very much like to know what she's doing in Alola.

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>>10955498
"Hmph, you first"
>Donna follows Anne outside, pouting
>...
>She fidgets with something inside her dress
>Click
>Rolling initiative

>>10955555
>Quint five
>nigga you fucked up

>>10955555
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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>>10955555
This oughta be good

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>>10955555
>Quints 5
>QUunts fucking 5
>Donna tries to fish out one last pokeball, only for her hand to cramp at the worst moment possible
>It rolls unopened in the direction of Anne, getting stuck under her feet as she walks

>>10955555
(My sides)
(How could one character fuck up so bad)
>>10955541
"Nope! It's said a Solgaleo will one day devour the sun!"
>Turning back to the phone, Sun hushes her.
>The boy explains that a teleporting Pokémon dumped her within the apartment he was staying at, and that they only just managed to find the info regarding the hospital she was staying at.
-Sun, jelly attracter

>>10955617
that wasnt that interesting

>>10955617
>Anna looks down at the ball, and looks back up.
"I should have fucking figured."
>Ollie the accomplice, meanwhile, going to sweep up from behind, and use the chemicals he got from Saul on the flower lady while she's presumably panicking.

>>10955641
Very underwhelming

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>>10955696
>Heavy breathing
>VERY heavy breathing
>Hyperventilation, clinically speaking
"Don't"
"Step"
"On my Vileplume"

>She does not notice the Orrean

>roll for scout to post

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>>10955752
>Ollie opens the caustic vial, and goes for the grab and internal nasal application of the foul concoction, with vial-shattering force.
"Breathe deep, perra."
>If this fails on anything less than odd dubs after Those Quints i s2g man

>>10955829
(Can you stop holding the quints over their head? This is a fucking RP not your personal power trip.)

>>10955829
(I get that fails are part of the RP but when you're basically telling someone how to write their replies after they fail it's really douchey.)
>Roll to spill salt

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>>10955829
>Nothing would have taken out of her shock
>Not even the hooded scum barely trying to hide walking behind her
>With the vial shattered on her face right before she inhaled, the acid made quick work out of her olfactory nerves
>She is going to need a change of careers

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>>10955638
>She shuts up, and the hospital sorts things out
>Now knowing she's with a champion of a region with connection to the IP, they trust she is in good hands.
>The clothes she was found with are being snail-mailed to her new residence, and she is no longer registered as a missing person.
>Congratulations, Kat, you're a real girl again!
"Okay, I assume that's just a rumor since he's with you, but... how the hell did I end up with the champion of Alola!?"
>The Faller tries to pinch the bridge of her nose again, accidentally bonking herself in the eye
"Ow. Stupid casts... right, uh, god I'm sorry for having to ask for this, but I kinda need clothes and stuff... Once I get a job I'll pay you back though, swear it on my fists."

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>>10955907
>Olivar just keeps walking as he drops the target, and calls out his Alakazam. That's expected.
>>10955696
>What Anna's probably not expecting, however, is him whispering "sorry, mija', before gut-checking her.
"Geller. Drag her towards Lumiose, wipe the last two days from her head, and come find me in Shalour."
>The Alakazam nods, sadly.
>>10955992
( This. Fake "im outta here" threats are a /par/ meme older than Ocean Man)

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>>10955878
>>10955901
(Calm down, f-a-malasada)
(I know you have concerns but, as the GM of this plot I had no obligation of following)
(But I followed, nothing could have undone those quints)

(BTW, what would you have expected out of the quints, keeping it non lethally?)

Reminder, according to SB if you get angry you're HB.
Reminder that SB is why PAR1 died.

(I'm being a cunt, sorry, I'm taking a break for today.)
>>10956127
(Stop pretending to be me.)

>>10956082
(You gonna be alright, anon?)
>>10955998
"I think you got dumped on me by an Ultra Beast? That uh... that happens a looooot."
>Sun chuckles, patting his pockets to check if his wallet is there
"You don't really have to pay me back, I make a loooot of money! Anyway uh... lets go! I know a mall!"
>With but one glance to see if she's coming Sun takes off

>>10956191
(Sorry m8, but, have to err on the side of being trolled)
(Such is the state of PAR, sadly)

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>>10956056
"Wha-"
>Boom.
>She's doubled over, and too shocked to react as the Alakazam closes in and ( I presume) teleports her into the backwoods.
>Ollie punched her. Her own dad just punched her...
>With her team the way it is after the battle, she can't meaningfully resist.

>>10956127
That's a funny way to spell Emrys

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>>10956197
>Kat follows, now glad to know her own name and running after the boy in hospital slippers
>She winces with each footfall, but presses on, knowing she'll get some real shoes soon, among other things.
"It's a pride thing, dude."
>Shopping trip is go!
>Kat has a preference for short skirts and long jackets, mostly because that's what she wore when she woke up.
"You know where I could get a car, so uh, I don't have to use a bus to get around?"

it really say something about par when the infighting is more interesting than the the roleplaying