ITT: Pokemon Are Real.
(This thread takes place in a new universe. Any past lore can be ignored.)
What region is the best?
Last thread: >>10398562
>>10407194
What was the expedition?
sord
>>10407206
"...Similar diets then. You really need to eat better."
>Tobias chuckles as they exit the town.
"I'm starting you on a healthy diet."
>>10407251
Johto. Also suicide is starting to creep into my thoughts. help.
>>10407194
what expedition?
>>10407251
goo
>>10405249
You realize a lot of us are in support of the changes and the pro-trainer policies rolling out, as clunky as they may be right? I'm Kanto through and through and I'll never leave! If you're really so afraid of a little work with Pokemon though please, go run away and let the real men and women take charge.
#CooksForKanto
(.What's the best way to jump into this RP?)
>>10407506
(make a character with a problem or something. thats what i did and people seem to partake in it.)
>>10407264
>>10407351
Oh let's say there was a lot of gold involved. Had to fight off an entire army of Garchomp alone with just an ice tray.
>>10407251
>>10407300
"You're cutting off our popcorn supply? You cruel monster. How dare you."
>Rolling for travel time to Celadon with the last two numbers
>>10407506
(Normally having a character ask a question of some sort is the best way to go.)
>>10407574
... You don't even have hands, how'd you throw the cubes?
Sinnoh, of course. We have GODS, how can any other region top that?
>>10407673
By being full of shit.
>>10407726
>We have GODS
No, the Gods have us.
>>10407574
..... Sounds legit. garchomp's are actually giant pussies..
>>10407726
sinnoh is not so great though.
>>10407648
"It'll be seafood and veggies from now on. The diet of a true Sinnohian."
>Tobias chuckles.
"Do you like seafood?"
Goooood Evening Goldenrod! DJ Mary here with your news at [getav!Time]!
To start things off tonight, a number of reports of crashed sattelites are coming from all across the world from Unova to Sinnoh, and even as far away as Alola! The IP has declined to comment on the ongoing investigation at the time, but Unoven authorities have stated that they will work diligently to discover the cause of this bizzare bombardment. Could it be terrorism? Sunspots? Rogue pokemon? A factory flaw? Only time will tell!
With more crime news, Lieutenant Surge made formal announcement of his plans to clean up the rampant cases of breeder abuse in his region! As you all know, controversy regarding abusive breeders was first a hot issue several years ago, with some renewed interest brewing after Champion Ruby began a small whistle blowing campaign against what he discovered to be a flagrantly abusive daycare center. Is Surge's campaign part of genuine commitment to higher standards of pokemon care, or media stunt to distract from the dramatic tensions flaring in the Indigo Region? You decide!
In more somber news tonight, the mother of Alolan Regional Champion Sun has passed away in a tragic accident involving... another... er... falling satellite? thefuckiseven- Our thoughts and prayers are with the young Champion.
Tensions are flaring at the Indigo Plateau, as regional politics take center stage! Amid significant legal reform, veteran and outspoken warhawk Lt. Surge was heard loudly advocating the annexation of surrounding regions!
That wraps up for tonight's big news stories, and we'll be bringing you updates as we get 'em! Now some music to cut that tension.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0Y5in02mfI
>you can hear an audible click over the radio
>a chair squeekes and the mic picks up a woman's faint voice
"Hell with thi... can kiss my ass... always go for the media first when wars kick up.... -ove to Unova- SHIT!"
>a scratch followed by a click can before Mary's audio cuts
>>10407819
>ITT basically a guy who recaps everything so far
Thanks for doing it
>>10407251
i love sinnoh
>Want to play a character
>person they interact with isnt on
(welp guess im sleeping)
>>10407885
(I thought it would be a decent IC way help people catch up without making them dig through the archives)
>>10407726
By having gods *and* not being shit?
>>10407818
"Hm... I prefer red meats, but seafood is good, too."
>Alain hums thoughtfully
"Wine and cheese, for the true Kalos experience."
>>10407885
>>10407925
(DJ Mary is a blessing on this thread, thanks anon.)
>>10407915
(Which person is it? They might just be lurking.)
>>10407915
(interact with everyone? just a suggestion. up to you my main man.)
>>10407819
>Sun is dead
>>10407819
wait. that kid that bought his championship died? that sucks.
>>10407984
>>10407960
I'm fine guys, it's uh... My mom that's....
Hey wait, I didn't buy my championship!
>>10407984
>>10407960
(His mom died, not him)
>>10408008
(fuck i cant read)
>>10408004
Aren't you from kanto?
>>10408004
Damn, got my hopes up that the world improved.
>>10408029
Yeah, but I haven't been there for a few years.
>>10408035
ok
>>10407942
Come the fuck on Alain, are you really going to tell me that your stupid life cycle trio is on the same level as the LITERAL CREATORS OF REALITY AS WE KNOW IT? One of these groups is responsible for the nitrogen cycle, the other is responsible for space-time.
>>10407942
"Well then we'll have to get some seafood together some time. My treat and such."
>Tobias chuckles.
"How fancy. Are you going to get me tipsy and marry me?"
>>10408050
Which town? would you go back?
>>10408102
It's not on the same level, no.
I'm saying Kalos is better because we have gods residing here and *aren't shitheads.*
The only thing Sinnoh has going for it is the fact that Tobias is from there.
>>10408103
"As long as we don't have to actually go to Sinnoh. I think I'm about to be banned from your motherland."
>Alain chuckles bitterly, fiddling with his mega bracelet
"Aw, would I actually have to get you tipsy to say yes?"
>>10408178
Vermillion city!
I um... I wouldn't go back though.
Not to live, anyway! Maybe to visit though.
I just like Alola a lot more, and that was uh... Before Kanto's current stuff, even so like... Yeah! Maybe I'll visit when it kinda calms down and whatnot.
>>10408280
>Tobias stops dead in his tracks and stares back at Alain.
"You're going to be banned?"
>>10408347
>roll to pinch suns nips
>>10408347
I've been there once. Nice town actually. What happened? to Kanto i mean?
Hey PAR?
What's a good place to buy a replacement hand.
>>10408405
Not my fault this time.
>>10407894
Sinnoh loves you more
>>10408465
>toss back in johto
>>10408405
>Sorry anon, you failed in your quest.
>The nips remain unpinched
>>10408465
"Siiiilver help, an anon is touching me"
>>10408428
Um... I guess there's a lot of political stuff going on and a buncha people are reeeeeeally mad about it?
Something about um... Laws that make people have to be trainers to get a job or something?
>>10408445
Which region? ....
...
Why do you need a new hand my dude?
>>10408515
politics are boring. Kanto does produce the strongest trainers; albeit the most uneducated ones.
>>10408445
Like... A normal prosthetic hand, or functional robotics...?
Some of the anons here dealing with robotics might be able to help with that, if you got the cash.
>>10408280
Why would we ban you, or anyone else for that mattter? The nation of Sinnoh is not afraid of some uppity champ with a unreasonably inflated view of his local legendaries. They aren't gods, when they create a fundamental force then we will talk.
>>10408445
A hand?
>>10408508
>gets tossed back because he's banned
>thank Surge for that
>>10408515
Break his legs your wimp.
>>10408515
>roll to give sun thicc nips
>>10408382
>Busy fiddling with his Mega Bracelet, Alain ends up walking into Tobias' back
"Well... I was half kidding. I've been shit talking a member of the E4 for the past day or two."
>>10408580
>Alain squints suspiciously at his phone
... How are you listening into a verbal conversation.
>>10408472
>blush
well working at a pokemon center probably makes alot of people happy with it
>>10408472
bite a bullet turts
>>10408668
>I know you got evens and all, but I'm not accepting physical changes from random anons.
>Sorry
>>10408610
"Um... But... That's a bit harsh??"
>>10408552
Yeah, one of my neighbors tried to shock a Sandslash. It was funny, but really sad at the same time.
I kinda wish Kanto schools actually um... Taught stuff about battling...
>>10408764
>I'm not accepting physical changes from random anons.
fuk time to kms
>>10408732
(how do you know it's him anyway?)
>>10408703
>initiate snug.exe
Living in a region dedicated to the god of space has a few perks.
(He's totally bullshitting you, roll for bluff check)
>>10408764
"No."
>>10408788
(Never reply to any turts-caller. Also, they don't they just don't need to know because it still gets your attention anyways.)
>>10408788
(STOP FUCKING REPLYING)
(FUCKER OBVIOUSLY HAS A RAT ON TURTS SHIT OR SOMETHING)
(FUCKING IIIIIIIIIGNORE HIM)
>>10408817
(ALL CAPS REPLIES ARE GOING OUT OF FAVOR FRIENDO, PREHAPS TRY SMALLER, MORE FRIENDLY LOOKING LETTERS?)
>>10408703
>Tobias sighs and turns around.
"It's Flint, isn't it?"
>>10408764
but that's battling 101.... Man i wish i could help. Kanto is my neighbors after all. I just cant into anything right now.
>>10408868
"....Yes, it's Flint. He's claiming he has Palkia spying on me."
>>10408791
If the God of Space were in your favor you would've had him snatch you a Heatran, not spy on me. Or is an uppity champ higher on your priority list than your Sinnoh pride, Mr Two-Sinnoh-Mons?
>>10408890
Ummmmm...
Maybe you could try battling classes?
I think there'd be tons of kids who would be up for it, and it uh... Might help distract you and stuff??
>>10408776
(Sorry, feel free to bug him and do other silly stuff in anon mode though)
>>10408795
"Uh... Okay? Um... Not sure how'd I break his legs... Or how that would stop someone from touching me but uh.... Whatever you say, Silver."
>Sun shrugs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck
>>10408552
I demand more dreams to eat.
>Roll to summon someone besides Skitts, Jiji, Turts or Borb
>>10408954
You not higher on the list ... It's stack rules man...
Last one in first one out and stuff..
Gotta be efficient and the like.
>roll to convince Alain (and himself)
>>10409070
'ello
>>10409070
Yes hello? I'm trying to get some exercise done.
>>10408954
"Well... You know what that means?"
>Tobias chuckles, swinging an arm around Alain and staring them walking again.
>>10409070
.what
.im trying to lurk
.also goddamnit i need to fight someone for a body already
>>10409210
>A wild Deoxys appeared.
Fight?
>>10409210
Are you a ghost of some kind?
>>10409210
..A body?
>>10409240
.no like
.just like
.roll with me
.just like you give me a body
>>10409242
.sentient satellite
.currently not in space
>>10409285
.yes
.a rad body
>>10409166
"... no, enlighten me."
>Alain leans against Tobias a bit as they walk
>>10409097
Efficiency. That's why you're bothering a god with something that you apparently consider below both you and your region, right?
Nice to see you're making him do your grunt work.
>>10409317
..Talking satellite.
Interesting.
So you need a body, a rad one. I assume so you can.. do things. Like.. walk.
Any ideas of what you might want/prefer?
>>10409420
"I befriend Palkia."
>Tobias chuckles.
"I'm joking. Maybe."
>>10409317
Forgive me, the Marowak seems to have you covered. Have we met before?
>>10409317
Oh hey nice, still not dead.
Time to get Col...
>>10409425
Just who are you?
>>10409425
.desu im good for whatever
.surprise me
.what am i giving you in return tho like
.jet liner or what
>>10409599
.uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
.probably
.how are ya deo
>>10409660
.yeah just kinda
.chilling in alola
>>10409660
Bones.
>>10409698
Right, can do.
>Furious googling for inspiration: habben.
Uhh.. hm.
Not sure, can probably work that out later after I get a general design worked out.
>>10407251
This stupid fucking justice, our fucking righteous fucking nigger, Alex, is doing this shit
EVERYONE TYPE ALEX IS A STUPID NIGGER IN CHAT
>>10407251
Kalos is a very nice place from what I remember of it.
>>10409868
Do you build things for a living or something?
>>10409518
"... think you can do it? Get the attention of a god?"
>The two finally enter Celadon, Alain squinting at every sign they come across
"Alright, where are we headed?"
>>10410023
>Tobias shrugs.
"Already got the attention of Darkrai, Latios and Heatran. Can't be too hard."
>Tobias points a thumb over at the gym, looping an arm through Alain's.
"Over this way."
>Tobias tugs Alain off toward the gym.
>>10409698
Nice, Alola.
Could be somewhere worse, just don't attract the local wildlife, I have been told that they are pretty aggressive.
>>10409868
Bones.
Are you some kind of mechanic?
>roll2die
>>10409868
.tight
.ill be here trying not to rust if you need me
>>10410127
.wildlife is tolerable
.mostly the shitty salt
>>10410189
>pic
*unzips dick*
>>10410120
>Caught by surprise, Alain simply lets himself be dragged along in silence for a bit.
>How're we doing this gym battle?
>Showdown?
>>10410019
Or something.
I make things for fun and because they're useful. Tvs, my pda, an arm, an armory, you name it I've either fixed it made it or scrapped it. Probably.
>>10410127
Of a sort, yes.
>>10410189
..Well uh, if you can get to Orre I'll meet you there somewhere.
Or do you need a pickup?
>>10410189
How exactly are you planning on getting a body? Are you able to upload yourself? Do you have the equipment for it?
>>10410120
(Tobias has Heatran? Fak)
>>10410232
(.here you go u nasty little anon)
>>10410356
.uh
.evil space dna just passed out so
.maybe
.no magnets plz
>>10410531
.uhhhhhhhhhh im 99% sure no one in the world has the bandwidth to upload a shitty b grade ripoff human consciousness
.and uhhhh no
.gotta beg people for cool shit
>>10410356
Huh.
Interesting.
>>10410189
Fuck rust.
>>10410573
Be it one hour or one decade you should upload
>>10410531
What a surprise seeing you here sister. Enjoying your vacation?
>>10410573
If you can get enough bandwidth, you might be able to fight some porygon source code. I'm guessing if you have the processing power to run yourself, you could probably recompile yourself into a porygon.
That'd mean getting into whatever archives Silph Co keeps the source code in though. Good luck with that, given how advanced their computer tech is they probably have plenty of tricks to protect it.
>>10410573
Aaalright, can do. No magnets, those stay in the junkyard.
Well, uh, what exactly am I working with here so I know if I need to bring something heavier duty than my airboat?
Alsoooo, do you have some sort of core your.. mind, is in? Or is it just sort of.. a thing.
>>10410672
I suppose, not the most common thing, craftsmen mons.
>>10410556
(Heatran is one of those legendaries we allow for multiple of. 5 is probably the limit though, I'm not sure.)
>>10410672
.rust sux
.also yeah probably
>>10410775
.yeah im probably just gonna
.buy a unovan server farm
>rollin for success of that
>>10410815
.uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
.roughly 36,375 kg
.just chillin up here in all the extra storage space
.dont blow up the hard drives and were good
>>10410922
>dubs server space
someone tell sb
>>10411051
SB HOLY FUCK
>>10410775
To hell to that, this AI is unique and special. It is not every day you see an AI spontaneously form itself.
>>10410815
Yeah, but not unheard of.
>>10410922
Yeah.
If you do need help with server farms especially in Unova I'm your man.
>>10410922
..I'm gonna need a bigger boat.
Well, I suppose transferring would be the best option then. Not sure how physically moving the drives to something else would work out.
>>10411094
Of course.
I'm with a rather skilled tailor right now, in fact.
>>10411094
I didn't say it should delete itself, just take the source code for porygon, remove the personality bits and insert itself into it. Giving it a body without changing its core personality (which I'm assuming is either neural net or matrix based).
>>10410922
I could arrange for a server farm for you if you'd be willing to do some work occasionally. I run the Unovan subsidiary of TCS Elan Industires, so we frequently need to do simulations for material science experiments.
>>10411213
((Forgot the FC))
>>10411094
.i may have accidentally bought out half of the building on 33 thomas street
.uh
.go wild feel free to take up residence there idc
.tell them juicy jay said youre hired as an IT guy
>>10411203
.yyyyyep
.they call a big boat a rocket ship
.yeah workin on it
>>10411213
.ehhhhhh
.i got bored of running sims a few years ago
.probably gonna say no for now
>>10411051
>>10411085
>Incredibly nervous nerd
I don't know who is this "S.B."
>SIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
>>10411203
A tailor in Orre? Odd market.
>>10411213
It's not just that, the whole structure of his AI is worth of taking a look at.
For easier swapping into a Porygon AI it would need to be a neural network, as well, and I'm kinda expecting something larger than the usual Porygon neural network.
>>10411259
>33 thomas street
You What
>>10411259
if you had enough money to buy that why didnt you just buy a body from colress
>>10411259
As much as I'd love to make a rocket, that would be a little.. ineffecient, for this.
I'll figure something out. Always do.
Good luck with that, by the way.
>>10411264
I.. think he's from Hoenn? Can't remember.
Makes really nice flags.
>>10410356
How does one make an arm?
>>10411264
Which is why you couldn't just use the standard porygon code, and would need to get the source code itself. So you could rework and recompile it around whatever AI form it has. I'm not a computer scientist, but I know enough to understand the needs and ideas of my R&D departments.
>>10411327
I'm pretty sure someone as high profile as that would be more interested in compiling an AI than cold hard cash. He's a criminal for a reason after all.
>>10411259
Holy shit.
Holy
Shit
This is a goddamn lifesaver, thank you!
Gonna move there tomorrow, it's pretty late now, but, again, thanks.
>Nerd: start getting ready
>>10411355
I was kinda expecting a Kalosian, to be honest.
>>10411327
.i mean
.hes not here rn
.yknow
>>10411355
.no prob bob
.ill be in the neighborhood
>>10411412
.yeah uh
.i only need like
.half of the server space
,just dont put anything too raunchy on there
.since uh
.the IP have a place like
.immediately downstairs
>Two gyms down, six more to go
>Alain stuffs the badges in a small metallic case with the Kalos gym badges, returning the case to his pocket afterwards
"Well... That went well."
>>10411511
>Dubfail
>What went wrong, Alain?
"So it did, next is... Uh..."
>Tobias checks his phone.
"...Surge."
>>10411371
Very carefully.
Not too difficult really, hard part is syncing it up to the nervous system so it can be controlled via the electrical impulses and such.
Rest is just plain old mechanics and electricals.
>>10411412
They do make a lot of clothes, don't they.
>>10411444
..Bones.
I'll see you soon, hopefully.
>>10410775
Oh, what a wonderful surprise. Finally got a break from hobnobbing at soirees?
>>10411371
Prosthesis.
>>10411410
Exactly. There's an API but almost the entire Porygon AI source code is secret.
Either way, I would not go with this plan.
>>10411444
Yeah, personal stuff does not go into work stuff, bad form.
And yeah... time to get good at not being noticed.
>>10411561
Their lifeblood wine and their skin expensive clothes.
>>10411540
>He fails to return the badge case to his pocket, duh
>Quick, check out his ass while he's bending over to pick it back up
>After retrieving and brushing off the case he returns it to his pocket.
"... He's on a mission to cleanse Kanto's daycares right now, we might have to skip him."
how is everyone doing in this fine evening
>>10411561
.bones
.neat name
.im juice
.or j
.whatever works
>>10411606
.fuckin feel free to shack up there idc
.work and play in the same office
>>10411744
.boooooooooooooooored
.what about you
>>10411744
Trying to figure out how tightassed Kanto border security's going to be. They just Hyper Beamed the legs out of their own economy, so I'm looking to move goods and offer work under the radar. Sell the loot out of Region, and I'm solid.
>>10411744
Still picking zangoose hair out of my gi.
>>10411797
Talk to the sneaky satellite dude
>>10411720
>Scope booty.
"Nice. Well, it's Erika then, right? You don't think she's going to be stoned, do you?"
>>10411797
Posting things like that makes work harder on all of us you know. Be considerate of your fellow entrepreneurs.
>>10411606
..Hopefully not too expensive. Sort of want to pick some up if I find anything I like.
>Time to bug a plush
>Poke poke
>>10411782
Thanks.
Nice meeting you Juice.
>>10411782
i'm a bit bored too, today was a tiring day in my job
>>10411797
wow, that must be really awful, i hope nothing like that happens in sinnoh
>>10411809
tends to be a bit on the annoying side to deal with
>>10411744
Fruity
>>10411744
Fucking excellent.
>>10411782
Getting there in the morning, shit is late and there are no more ferries from Virbank.
Fucking ferries.
>>10411797
If it's any like their police, not very.
>>10411809
Why zangoose?
>>10411889
>Awaken my plush.
What's up? I was trying to sew up a tux!
>>10411847
Sweet. Will do.
>>10411873
Alright, I'll lay lower profile in the future.
I'm not looking to move narcotics or anything, just provide what Kanto says their people can't have without a Trainer's License.
>>10411902
Well, bad news. The Kantonese are on the warpath, and they're looking to annex Sinnoh and Hoenn from what I hear. If that happens, you're fucked.
>>10411928
Hah. Easy money.
>Criminal Scum: roll for Profit
>>10411809
The Pokemon you are thinking of is called "Zigzagoon", Falkner.
One of your Pidgeys is going to return with a stolen wallet in an hour, don't check the left pocket.
>>10411865
>Ass: successfully scoped
"She's always stoned, from what I've heard. Maybe we can just... Sneak past and grab the badge."
>>10411902
A bit.
>>10411928
Horrible first experience with WonderTrade.
>>10411962
What's the difference? And what's in the left pocket?
>>10411931
Sorry hun, don't let me stop ya.
Uh, sentient satellite down in Alola needs a pickup and a new body. Might need to cut the Kalos expedition a little short but..
You wanna check out a store or something real quick?
>>10411982
"Well that sounds good to me. Shadow sneak, then?"
>Tobias doesn't wait for an answer.
>Rollan for accuracy.
>>10412002
...Aren't satellites kinda huge? Sure, sure! Let's go!
>>10411924
Fruitly?
>>10411928
That is fantastic my friend
>>10411950
That os just awful
And i even work in a pokemon center what will happen then?
>>10411991
But i'm sure you can do it
Picking hair from clothes is a slow and precise processes i wish the best for you
>>10411924
die turtle
>>10411991
Whether or not it makes an angry ghost or a hyper one.
... something bad.
>>10412088
Yes
>>10412101
*dies*
>its turtle hour again
(ok time to leave)
>>10412060
Sort of, yeah. 36 metric tons, forgot to ask how big but I assume pretty large. Gonna need to either upgrade the skiff or make a tug.
Alriiight, I think that's a clothing place over there?
>Hold that plush hand like the deviant you are
>Time for shopping!
>>10412169
>implied shit poster time
>>10412179
(idk who he even is im just out until this shit ends)
(stop replying to me jfc)
>>10412088
There's so much. This is horrible. I can hear the birbs laughing at me.
>>10412104
What kind of something?
>>10411564
I see you're as sour as ever. You really need to relax a bit, you'll be given a chance to step up when you're older.
>>10411797
I doubt the economic fallout will be as bad as people make it out to be. Kanto's current taxation is already high for everyone, and most of the money goes to funding public safety and utilities. With more people likely becoming trainers I'm guessing the police will become little more than public law experts and dispensaries. The total tax burden might even decrease because of it.
>>10411606
>>10410775
>that'd mean getting into whatever archives Silph Co keeps the source code in though. Good luck with that, given how advanced their computer tech is they probably have plenty of tricks to protect it.
>>10412210
HAHAHAHAHA
>>10412010
>The shadow sneak is successful, plopping them in the final room of the gym.
>Alain's face contorts with disgust, the conference champion pulling his scarf up over his nose.
"Fucking Kanto."
>>10412210
.... a bad something.
>>10412200
...doesn't help with the problem you just let the shitposters win like in oldpar
but whatever you do you
>>10411950
Not even a day later and we already got confirmed "irregular imports/exports" in a Seviian water tasting board.
>>10411991
Hah.
Important difference between a zigzagoon and a zangoose: one speeds through the floor at random, the other wants to claw out your eyes.
>>10412216
Would need to be a Silph employee and be in the Porygon division, and I'm not feeling like moving to Kanto any time soon, if ever.
>>10412169
>>10412179
>>10412200
(Turts does not post here anymore, please stop this nonsense)
>>10412239
>Tobias makes a retching noises as he pulls his cloak over his face with a hand.
"It smells like a dead skunk. In here, come on."
>Roll to pop the badge pulpit thing open.
>>10412223
Shut up bird! I raised you!
>>10412247
What kind of bad something?
>>10412263
If it's not a bird I don't see a reason to care.
>>10412285
The kind of bad something that fits in a wallet.
>>10412263
(Turts does actually post here sometimes. It generally ends up flooding thread with shitposts.)
>>10412138
Huh
I guess you feel fruitly, what ever that is
>>10412210
Don't be so hard on yourself you're probably imagining that
>>10412314
(Who cares? the shit posters are doing so OoC, it's no different than porn posting)
>>10412277
>Dubsfail
>Not only does it fall to the ground with an incredibly loud clatter, but it lands on Tobias' foot when it does so
>That probably hurt at least a little.
>Alain's eyes widen in alarm, quickly turning to see if they're still clear.
>Odds and a stoner is standing in the doorway.
>>10412305
...An embarrassing Trainer ID photo? I've got the wallet and the bird right here, what's the big deal?
>>10412330
No, I'm not. My skarmory is throwing seeds at me. One of my pidgeot fell off the rafters because it was laughing too hard. The honchkrow called a bunch of murkrow over and they're playing keep-away with my badge case. This is horrible.
>>10412392
"Ffffffucking."
>Tobias groans, grabbing two badges and handing one off to Alain before putting it back.
"Give me a minute if anyone comes tell them we're looking for extra weed."
>Tobias looks through some of the cabinets.
>Rolling.
>>10412411
.... I don't know. All I know is that whatever's in there is bad.
Tell me what it is if you decide to actually check.
>>10412285
Good luck posting with no eyes.
>>10412411
Birdemic: Violet City
>>10412411
SKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW
>Peck blue man
>>10412437
>Like the Celadon Gym badge from earlier, Alain pockets this badge as well, this time without dropping the case.
>Leaning against a wall near the doorway, he watches as Tobias digs through the cabinets.
>Odds and the noise attracts a stoner
>>10412499
That doesn't help me at all.
>>10412503
This is a horrible da-
>>10412507
ZAPDOS WHY
I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS
>>10412584
Kraw.
>Roost on.
>>10412555
>Fuck
>While Alain is busy picking up the case *again* a stoner walks in, tripping over him and sending both of them sprawling onto the floor.
>It's a noisy ordeal.
>Enough so to wake up Erika.
>>10412584
Nonsense. You know there's a bad thing in the left pocket, which is more than you knew before.
>>10412555
>>10412613
"ALAIN WHAT DID YOU DO?"
>Tobias acts as fast as he can and grabs Erika.
>Rolling to choke her out.
>>10412669
((Uh... Why is Tobias assaulting Erika?))
>>10412669
>Well now it's just awkward.
>She looks up at you with the look of a woman very pissed about being woken up, and then reaches back, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling as hard as she can.
>Meanwhile...
"Me? I didn't do anything, he ran into me!"
>Alain and the stoner are both scrambling to get up as fast as possible - Alain to get the hell out of there, the stoner to help the gym leader.
>Odds and the yelling attracts more stoners.
>>10412728
(Because they got caught breaking and entering and she's the only thing standing between them and getting the hell out of there? They don't exactly have time to battle her, either.)
>>10412784
"AAAA OW!"
>Tobias punches her in the face and throws her at the nearest stoner.
>And then proceeds to follow after Alain.
>>10412594
>roll to pat electric birb
Eeeasy big guy.
>>10412660
Okay. What kind of bad thing? Very bad? Little bad? Moderate bad? Is there a dimmer switch of bad I can turn here?
>>10412216
In the long run? Maybe, maybe not, time will tell who's right. Right now, though, people are panicking, and I need the dough. Well, my family needs the dough, I'm fine with cheap ramen.
>>10412263
Damn right, and business is good right now.
It might dry up later, but I'll deal with that if and when that happens.
>>10412874
>Congratulations, it's a two for one - both Erika and the stoner are out for now.
>Alain hastily fumbles with the nearest window, sliding it up and jumping out not a moment later, landing on the dirt below with a thud.
>>10413065
>Tobias follows suit, landing with the grace of someone who seems to have snuck around before.
"Quiet, quiet. Need to see if they're coming."
>>10413001
>nop
SKRAAAAAAAW
Well, I've been working too long on this second version. Is anyone in the Black City area up for a fight?
>>10413001
It's a bad small enough to fit in a wallet, Falkner. I thought I already told you this?
>>10413178
I'd oblige, but I'm in Virbank and my Trainer is asleep.
May I ask what you are working on? Some manner of battle robot?
>>10413003
Hopefully sooner, for people's sake.
>>10413178
Not even a single ferry out of here, sorry.
How has been the investor searching?
>>10413115
>A simple nod is the only answer Tobias gets, Alain returning to brushing the dirt off his pants afterwards.
>>10413121
S-sorry
>>10413216
...It's a condom with a hole in it.
>>10413341
Horrible, isn't it? It's a good thing you were warned, it would have been a tragedy if a bed partner had to go unsatisfied because you didn't have enough time to replace it.
You're very welcome, Falkner.
>>10413246
An unmanned battle robot that can function as a pokemon in battle. Unlike Porygon and its derivatives.
>>10413292
Not a problem! I can test it at Black Tower. Not so hot, maybe apply with Aether again.
>>10413341
SCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW
>>10413307
>Tobias chuckles and stands up.
"Alright, how about we get a hotel in Saffron and call it a day. Yes?"
>>10413395
You're not very good at this, are you?
>>10413420
...
>poke birb
>>10413466
>dubs poke
>you get the smolest scraw possible back
>>10413409
>Ding ding ding
>Mail for you
>Open?
>>10413466
I'm amazing at it.
You found something bad in the left pocket that a Pidgey brought you an hour after I said so, didn't you?
>>10413513
I... guess that's good?
>>10413534
...You couldn't predict the angry zap bird?
>>10413438
"Sounds nice. Let's go then. Lead the way, faithful translator."
>>10413566
>dubs
>its an even smoler scraw
>you arent even sure if he made a noise or if he just opened his beak and your brain filled it in
>>10413566
The only bird I have eyes for is Ho-Oh!
... that being said, a bird bites your ass at some point in the next hour.
>>10413595
"As you wish, mon cher."
>Tobias leads Alain into the town over, bribing the guard with a cold pepsi.
>He haggles with the hotelkeeper for a cheaper price.
>Rolling for if it was any cheaper.
>Anyway they make it into the hotel and Tobias flops on their single bed.
"I'm exhausted."
>>10413597
>pet bird
S-scraw?
>>10413610
Which bird?
>>10413524
>Yes.
>Rolling for work on Mk. II in the meantime.
>>10413682
>peck birbman
SCRAW
>>10413682
... one with the flying typing.
>>10413704
SCRAW?!
>>10413705
That. That's almost all of them Morty.
>>10413686
"Greetings Mr. Emmerich"
"I have a proposition for you on behalf of the Kalosian Industrial Conglomerate, one that will be mutually beneficial"
"As you may have heard in the news, Kanto is becoming a danger to themselves and every other region, and we have seen potential in your designs."
"Thus, we propose an injection of 10 million Unovan Pokedollars, with the condition that warfare grade designs be ready in the next three months, faster if war breaks out"
"Regards, Francoise Guillaume, COO of the KIC"
(Feel free to ignore or talk it over in OOC)
>>10413739
>u scrawed wrong
>offended birb jumps off birb man and paces around
>>10413664
>Mon cher
>Alain spends a good half of the trip trying to figure out if that was a joke or not
>When they get into the hotel room he chicks off his shoes and sits down on the other side of the bed
"Aren't we all. She didn't tear up your scalp too bad, did she?"
>>10413739
I can also confirm that it is most definitely not Ho-Oh.
>>10413774
>Throw seeds to angry birds
>>10413851
How many darkrais
>>10413770
>Roll to not choke on coffee.
"Of- Of course! I can double work and have something test ready on the double! I'll be happy to take on this endeavor!"
>Double time on the Mk II. testing and start writing up the Walker blueprints and making orders.
(Yeah, that's perfectly fine. I planned for Emmerich to run through about three different designs before he started getting into the things that would actually pose a threat and be pseudo to actual legendary tier. I'll see how I can work with that and work with this too?)
(If you have any concerns voice them OOC I'd rather not destroy this plot with a miscommunication.)
>>10413887
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>BITE BIRBMAN ASS
>>10413887
... just one. I wanted to see if they made my predictions any better.
>>10413905
WHY
>throw an Archen at
>>10413949
They don't. At all.
>>10413965
Maybe if I smoke *two* Darkrais instead of just one...
>>10413829
>Tobias chuckles, tossing the cloak onto the door's handle and letting Darkrai out.
>You can hear Tobias mention something about making sure no hicks come in before it sinks into the shadow of the cloak.
>Tobias turns the TV on, getting comfy on the bed.
"May have to do a little hair care but I don't think so."
>>10413965
SKREEE
>BITE ASS AGAIN
>>10413994
Morty no. Morty why.
>>10414018
CAW
>pap birb
>>10414044
>dubs
>Birb has been calmed
>birb flops down and falls asleep
>>10413889
>Ding Ding Ding
>Second message
"Greeting Mr. Emmerich"
"We are pleased to hear you have accepted our offer"
"Please sign up the attached contracts"
"Regards: Francoise Guillaume, COO of the KIC"
>The contracts mention the possibility of buying out the robot designs and producing them in house
(No worries, wanted to get the investing in for a while and the Kanto plot gave me the perfect in setting excuse)
>>10414044
(Oh glorious bird-lord. Blessed be thy roll. Deliver us from angry birbs. In dubs we trust)
>>10414044
... why not?
>>10414104
Good birb. Pretty birb.
>>10414172
I know it's a bit out of my usual area of expertise but for some reason I think trying to interact with multidimensional beings and risen ghosts while stoned is a bad idea.
>>10414143
(Amen)
>>10414115
>You've successfully angered the Punished Cuck.
"Thank you Mr. Guillaume. I'll need a bit to look over my blueprints before I give a final signature. Please bear with me."
>The contract goes unsigned for now as Emmerich gets back to looking into alternative funding.
(Sorry, I'm not fully rejecting you Emmerich IC would rather die than give his stuff over so he needs time to think it over. As do I, thank you though! Goodnight.)
>>10414002
>He has no idea what's being said on the TV
>Curse Kantonese television for using its native language
>Better join the party of having a Pokemon out though - once let out of the ball Charizard curls up next to the room's heater, occasionally snorting at a line from the TV
"Right, well... I don't think we can out-sneak that ninja girl. Next badge will have to be obtained through honest means."
>>10414202
Only if the ghosts aren't stoned, too.
>>10414232
(Hah, rejected or not it is still plot advancement)
(And same actually. Good night)
>>10414241
>Tobias chuckles, sitting back.
>He flicks to one of the few Kalosian channels they get, probably news with a few advertisement programs.
"That or I bring a tranquilizer gun with me."
>>10414337
>For some reason Alain pictures tranquilizer guns as being large ass rifles
"... where are you planning on hiding it? Your ass?"
>>10414505
>Tobias chuckles.
"I have a cloak for a reason, Alain."
>>10414652
>Alain eyes the cloak with newfound suspicion
"I thought the reason was fashion."
>>10414947
>Tobias chuckles, unbuttoning the cloak and tossing it in Alain's lap.
"All that's in that one are my badges, phone and a few swiss army knifes."
>>10415008
"... well then."
>The cloak gets tossed back at Tobias as Alain gets comfortable
"Go to sleep. I can't drag your ass around if you wake up late."
>>10414264
How can you tell if a ghost is stoned?
Test
>>10415438
Because they're smoking a joint Falkner!
Or they're a Spiritomb.
>>10415625
How would a ghost get a joint?
>>10415637
From me?
>>10415645
Where would you get a joint?
>>10415664
I might have a herb garden in one of the back rooms.
And that garden might have a section of not herbs.
Or I might have a dealer.
Lots of possibilities, Falkner.
>>10415766
Morty I think you might have a problem.
>>10415766
...Do I need to call Whitney and have an intervention?
>>10415839
Nah, I'm fine. It's for spiritual reasons, helps open the chakras, expand your consciousness, and improve meditation.
>>10415934
If you bring her to my gym she's getting locked in the closet.
>>10416017
I'll call Blue too. He'll whine at you until you sober up.
>>10416042
... or I can just hide myself in the closet.
>>10416064
Is that where you grow the drugs?
>>10416091
Uhhhhhhhhh.... no.
It's where the dried plants are.
>>10416108
"Dried plants"? Is that what they're calling it now?
>>10416114
Hemlock? No, not normally.
>>10416137
Why are you smoking hemlock? That doesn't sound healthy.
>>10416156
Hahahaha noooo, I don't smoke Hemlock.
That would be fatal.
... hey, Falkner, do you have any snacks at your gym?
>>10416165
Human snacks or bird snacks? I've got enough feed, seed, and suet to feed every pidgey in New Bark for the next five years.
Human food uh... I've got some granola? Actually that's for the birds too.
>>10416204
>The weird granola he was chewing on is slowly set down
... that explains why it tastes funny.
>>10416345
Why what tastes funny?
>>10416367
The weird granola in your kitchen.
Is this stuff safe to eat?
>>10416381
Morty.
I keep the granola in my office Morty. That's a brick of suet Morty. You're. You're eating greasy bird mush with oats in it Morty.
>>10416419
... that explains why it tastes funny.
Am I gonna die, Falkner?
>>10416419
(This almost reads like a Rick And Morty Line)
>>10416437
Nope, it's pretty much safe. Usually. Might have some stomach cramps.
>>10416459
(pfft thanks Anon, I needed that chuckle)
>>10416464
(No problem Bird Person!)
>Out of the five breeders Surge visited today, three were corrupt
>The Pokemon in the corrupt facilities have been returned to their trainers and the breeders thrown in jail to await trial for breaking pretty much every regulation in the book regarding Pokemon breeding
I AM SORELY DISAPPOINTED IN KANTO THIS MORNING!
THE MAJORITY OF BREEDERS I VISITED ARE CORRUPT, AND HAVE BEEN SHUT DOWN!
THANKFULLY THE ONES ENTRUSTED WITH CARING FOR MY POKEMON ARE NOT AMONG THAT LIST! I WILL CONTINUE TO SHUT DOWN BREEDERS THAT BREAK REGULATIONS TODAY, AND ATTEMPTS TO HIDE ILLEGAL ACTIVITY WILL BE MEET WITH EVEN HARSHER CHARGES THAN THOSE THAT ARE HONEST ABOUT THEIR BETRAYALS!
>>10416464
Falkner
Falkner listen
I'm gonna cook
>>10416486
You're gonna stub your toe in ten to twenty minutes
You're welcome
>>10416486
*Private_Message*
WHILST YOU WHERE OCCUPIED A NUMBER OF SIGNIFIGENT EVENTS HAVE TAKEN PLACE! AMONG THESE ARE THE DEATH OF THE MOTHER OF ALOLAN CHAMPION SUN AND THE SIGHTING AND PACIFYING OF KANTO LEGENDARY ZAPODOS BY JOTO GYM LEADER FALKNER! CURRWNT STATUS PF ZAPDOS REMAINS UNKNOWN! HAVE YOU DISCOVERED ANYTHING OF NOTE IN YOUR UPROOTAL OF KANTOS CORRUPTION? AS BEFORE I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO AID IN ANY MATTER OF INTELLIGENCE.
*End_Message*
>>10416512
Can I have my bird food back then?
>>10416486
This is going to end in a junta isn't it?
>>10416634
... hey Falkner?
Where did you buy these eggs?
>>10416669
I didn't buy any eggs. I'm on a diet. Dad always said "a chick can't grow on grass and grit".
>>10416692
...I just cooked one of your Pokemon's babies.
Oops.
>>10416699
WHY
>>10416699
>Stoned Morty shouldn't ever be allowed to cook.
>This birb fetus is a disgusting mess, and he actually feels a little bad about it
>>10416711
There were eggs in the kitchen and I have the munchies?
I have decided I do not need to use all caps at all times, as my actions should speak far louder than words.
>>10416512
Thank you, I shall keep my boots on.
>>10416613
>Private message
I am aware, thank you. I am glad that Zapdos has found his way to one of our Gym Leaders. As for the Satellite situation and the death of a Champion's mother, I believe Sabrina is looking into it, I shall check back with her when able.
>End message
>>10416634
I suppose you could call it that, though the League already qualifies for the term.
>>10416739
How could you do such a thing
>Falkner is horrified
>He actually sounds on the verge of tears
>>10416757
That's not encouraging.
>>10416767
>Oh god where did Falkner come from
>Sneaky bastard
>Morty shuffles so the scrambled bird fetus is behind him and hidden from view
"I thought they were normal eggs? Because they were in the kitchen?"
>He silently curses the Murkrow he saw this morning
>Stupid crows and their stupid bad luck
>>10416757
That's good to hear. Glad to know I'm not the only one with good intel. I'm going to go back to...listening, tell me if you hear anything I should know, I'll do the same to you.
(Holy shit thank you, I wasn't going to be the one to stop the stupid caps trend first but holy crap that was dumb)
>>10416805
It's the room with the most outlets! I was trying to keep them at a reasonable temperature!
>>10416859
"I'm sorry?"
>And it was at that moment that Morty had what his high as fuck self thought was possibly the greatest idea ever
"Do you need a hug?"
>>10416904
No.
Maybe.
Yes.
>>10416952
"Hug it is."
>Morty leans down a bit, wrapping Falkner in a tight, warm hug.
>He smells very strongly of incense and wood smoke - dragon's blood, to be specific.
>>10417001
>You've obtained one (1) avian obsessed karate dance nerd
>He smells like a chicken coop full of cheap perfume
Why do you smell like Lance's curtains
>>10416757
>Ignore the bit about Sabrina, my bad.
>>10416767
The League is already a military organization that leads the two regions, you should know this, given you are a Gym Leader.
Tell me, how goes it with Zapdos?
>>10416824
>Still private I assume
I will keep you informed, and I trust when the time comes, Sinnoh will be ready to merge with Kanto
(No problem dude, it was dumb.)
>>10417029
>The stoner laughs into Falkner's shoulder
"Wrong. Lance's curtains smell like me."
>>10417074
I got pecked and he fell asleep.
>>10417085
"Is that just a common detergent scent now?"
>>10417119
"It's Dragon's Blood. Lance totally stole my mine. The cards said so."
>>10417249
"Always thought something weird was up with that guy. He steals cleaning supplies."
>>10417305
>Morty stares blankly at Falkner for a minute or so... not that's it's noticeable, since his face is stuffed in Falkner's shoulder still
>It's amazing that he hasn't told Morty to let go yet
"Dragon's Blood is an incense. Like... A stick that you light on fire."
>>10417378
>Falkner is still hugging Morty
>He's comfy shut up
Wait how do you turn blood into a stick? And how do you get a dragon to hold still long enough?
>>10417119
I hope you have not considered capturing him without permission.
>>10417434
>You've lost him again - Morty just blanks out for a bit, completely lost to fantasies of dragon blood sticks
"It's a... plant sap. Not actual blood."
dead
PAR what's a good steel type to start with?
>>10418489
Magnemite.
>>10418634
>pet nerd
dont you have a lewd satellite to be working for
>>10418843
.i mean he doesnt HAVE to
.its like
.hey man i heard you like computers heres some computers go fucking wild
>>10418489
Magnemite, Mawile, Beldum
PAR where can i get a silvally onahole
>>10419127
If you'd like to come down to the Alola Aether Foundation we can get you something after you sign a few forms.
>>10418843
>Twitch
I'm on it, ferry is about to dock.
>>10418884
It's the least I can do for getting ne a place to stay indefinitely.
>>10418892
Speaking of which where I can find a Beldum in Unova?
>>10419127
>>10419151
>Sipp
>>10419165
Beldum only spawn in that ice shithole