>2017 >still no game that teaches you how to cook

>making this thread every day

That it! I've learned a new recipe.

>>10141162
prizza

>>10141162
Because that's fuking dumb

>>10141166
*grabs my twin katanas Angelbane and Demonfang*

heh kid.....you don't want to start................

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>>10141162
Nintendo got you, farn

i remember making the chili once, breddy gud

>>10141162
>implying there was anything wrong with that pizza
ramsay is a hack

>>10141167
*bows head and tips fedora*
Ah I see you're a man of the sword as well

>>10141169
>order thin crust
>get undercooked loaf of bread

>>10141171
>thin crust
aka faggot crust
>get undercooked loaf of bread
this is not undercooked and you know it

>>10141172
>oozing literal grease

Really surprised there isn't a Hell's Kitchen video game.

>>10141173
Your mom is oozing literal grease but I'd still fuck her
Just like I would eat that pizza

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>plate arrives
Right, thank you darling
>starts prodding at food with knife and fork
Christ.
>messily cuts up meal
Look at that.
>starts dissecting food like a science project
Dear oh dear.
>brings camera in for a close up
Unbelievable.
>squishes food into plate with the side of a fork
They've lost the plot.
>plants camera lens inside the meat
It looks like mother's bloody used tampon
>picks pieces off the food and starts flinging them haphazardly around
This is no way to run a business
>spills his drink on the plate
Awful soupy texture.
>presses food down with palm and smears it around
Bland, soupy, pretentious. I mean just look at THAT.
>chucks plate into the bin
Right, what we need is to simplify the menu. Keep it rustic.

>>10141172
If a store is gonna advertise thin crust they have to make it thin crust, that shit was ridiculous. And no I still think that shit was undercooked

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>>10141162
cooking is fucking easy what the fuck
if you're talking about making your own dough or pizzas just fucking watch a youtube video

>>10141175
Holy fuck as someone who has seen every episode of this fucking show it's so true

Just the US version, though. The EU version is way more reasonable because Ramsay's not being forced to play a character, he just does his own thing and is pretty reasonable.

Execs force him to play the flanderized angryman douchebag Ramsay because that's what people want.

I probably wouldn't eat more than a few bites of the Pizza in OP's pic, though. Eugh.

>>10141177
I am more than just slightly confused

>>10141177
This is hilarious.

>>10141177
what the hell

>>10141175
Amazingly accurate. Please tell me this is a /ck/ copypasta.

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CHEF I BURNT THE WATER CHEF

>>10141185
CMERE YOU
>YES CHEF
FUCK OFF
>THANK YOU CHEF

Some one post ja/ck/ already

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>>10141182
>Keep expecting this to lead up to something impressive
>He just makes a mess on the table

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>>10141177
so it's a super strawberry, right?

>>382038836
Do fish feel pain?

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>>382038836

>>382038836
It looks like an Eel that's been skinned alive.

I'm not one to gush over "Muh animal abuse" because eating animals is natural and necessary, but this seems like it's a sociopathic thing to do to even a fish.

>>10141165
Y'know what's hilarious? The pic OP has is a "thin crust."

>>382038836
weird sausage

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oil

nice and cold

>>382038836
weird dog

>>10141190
>>382038836
Even if they didn't feel pain I'd still never want to eat after seeing this shit

>>382038836
At some point shit is taken too far. How can you watch a being suffer while being cooked alive? I wouldn't be comfortable eating that shit.

>>10141169
a burnt pizza would taste better than that raw as fuck shit

waste of cheese

>>10141192
The eel is dead, what is happening in that webm is just nerves. It's actually pretty common.

I fucking love these webms

>>10141200
YAMEROOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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>>10141177
all that work to go from strawberry to strawberry

>>10141200
Jesus

>>10141199
It's dead m8.

>>10141192
>>10141199
It doesn't have a head guys, the head has been cut off. its just the nerves firing randomly

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>>10141182
but why

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>>10141200
Christ, what

>>10141209
>>10141203
That's good to know. Thank you.

How long until someone posts the frog .webm?

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>>10141200

>>10141210
I still don't know what this is.

>>10141177
Halfway through the webm I couldn't even FATHOM what the fuck the end product was going to be.

>>10141215
Vegan pizza.

>>10141190
I would guess yes, but that fish is dead

>>10141210
is that supposed to be some kind of pizza? what the fuck is it?

>>10141177
GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD, AFTER HOURS OF WORK AND TOIL, I PRESENT TO YOU... A STRAWBERRY.

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[X] TO LAMB SAUCE

>>10141215
Squishy rock pizza

>>10141202
Why do japs like runny and raw eggs?

>>10141162
>precise mise en place
>precise measuring ingredients
>timing everything to be aldente
>watching the oven to make sure everything is ok
anon you dont want this as a game this is seriously unfun if you cant eat it

>>10141199
It's dead.
And some people don't really care, see : Chinese "People" who torture dogs because it makes the meat sweeter allegedly.

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>>10141173
yeah except that one

>>10141162
Is this what happens when Peter squishes pizza in Sp2?

>>10141223
koreans*

>>382039818
What kind of crab is this?

>>10141223
Why does anyone anywhere eat eggs soft boiled or sunny side up?

>>10141182
These guys are fuckin geniuses, they just throw shit on the table and call it art and people pay exponential amounts of money for this dumb fucking shit
Also how the fuck do you eat it anyway?

>>10141223
Salmonella never existed in Japan. You can even safely order raw chicken and eat it there.

>>382039818
That poor dog

>>10141177
Anyone got the original source?

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>>10141220
Uh... I dunno about this

>>382039818
4chan is making me vegentarian

PAN

NICE AND HOT

>>382039818
This is gross but at least he kills it in the first cut.

I bet it's fucking delicious.

>>10141234
strawberry

>>10141227
IF I FLIP THE PIZZAS MR.RAMSEY WILL FLIP OUT

>>10141182
I expected this to end with double middle fingers and "Fuck you, Wolfgang! I quit!"

>>10141182
I hate this so god damn much

and I hate the people who would want to do this even more

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IT'S FUCKING ___

>>10141175
FRESH LOCAL RUSTIC

>>10141241
Is that all cured? Goodness, it looks divine.

>>382039818
eh, it's probably dead quicker than when being boiled alive so it's alright with me.

I once tried to cook, got burning oil on my eyelid.

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>>10141234
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbHWF3wPduY

Japan

>>10141245
I kinda like this

>>10141175
>Ice cream dessert arrives
Is this frozen?
>y-yes chef
Fuck me

>>10141232
it does
http://idsc.nih.go.jp/iasr/30/354/tpc354.html

>>10141245
All things considered it's pretty neat

>>10141251
It's cream and strawberry presented in an aesthetically pleasing and simple way. Who wouldn't like that?

>>10141250
Looks disgusting. Americans need to be stopped

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>>10141252

>>10141200
>Seinfeld pitches a movie sequel.webm

>>10141247
I think it's just slightly aged but I could be wrong

>>10141175
all it's missing are the sound effect stings that happen whenever something "disgusting" comes up on any american tv show

kitchen nightmares uk is so much more genuine and less about shock value

>>10141259
>shaves the bone first
UNF

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>>10141195
>tfw reading this with Jack's voice

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>>382039818
What's that green fluid called? I'd assume it's akin to blood for crustateans.

>>10141257
WELCOME TO THE LAND OF EXCESS FAGGOT

You can go ahead and toss it all in the bin and it won't even MATTER

>>10141177
Foodkino

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>>10141257
this. fucking dumb american's dont know anything about our aesthetic food

>>10141162
Can we do it through a Guitar Hero-like setting?

Kitchen Nightmares UK > Bar Rescue >>>>>>>>> Kitchen Nightmares US

>>10141259
Fuck that meat looks tasty

>>10141237
Pepper. Salt.

>>10141175
How many times does Gordon say "blow smoke up your arse" over all of his shows?

>>10141262
it's way funnier too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0Z7EPh8oLU

>>10141245
>now wearing gloves
Wonder how many time he burned his hands.

>>10141177
So a strawberry flavored strawberry?

>>10141174
Just because your standards are that low, anon, it doesn't mean OP isn't right.

>>10141162
>this nigga hasn't played Cooking Mama
fucking casuals, I swear

>>10141219
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-yWh3yI86M

it's basically an overly elaborate dessert pizza

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hello is this the pizza thread?

>>10141253
what kind of sorcery is this

>>10141259
>le shitskin twitter meme
you can fuck right off

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>>10141175
>>spills his drink on the plate
>Awful soupy texture.
Alright, I fucking lost it.

>>10141268
there is literally nothing wrong with haggis

the only people that don't like it are people who have never tried it

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s- should I post pizza?

>>10141245
Are those cold? Fuck they look refreshing

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>>10141270
>Bar Rescue
My fucking nigga. That show is great.

>>10141268
Dont talk shit about haggis, haggis is delicious. Just because your retarded country banned it.

>>382039818
heard lobsters don't feel pain.
they also apparently don't age they just get bigger

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>fans harass developer on Twitter

>>10141182
Anyone have the webm like this but the guy is literally just throwing ingredients onto the table?

>>10141168
I remember giving my mom my old DS along with this game, she would show it to her friends saying she had a personal chef working with her.

Someone post a cheeseburger webm.

>>10141286
>>10141290
i've never had it. what does it taste like?

>>10141182
That'll be 200 dollars.

>>10141286
>mfw laughing at the mere thought of haggis until i went to edinburgh and tried it

>>10141283
I don't know but it's Turkish coffee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii_W18ntwpg

>>10141294
Your mom sounds hot. Does she have big boobs?

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>>10141245
tastier version

>>10141226
Could have been a good game if it was rated T and Gordon actually sweared at you for your fuck ups.

>>10141297
the texture is kinda like a rice or couscous but it's all meat with spices and stuff

tastes great

blood/black pudding tastes great too

>>10141259
>>10141280
I want him to fuck me on a pile of raw meat.

>>10141295
for what purpose

>>10141291
both are true

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>>10141302

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>>382038836

>>10141265
Why would you kill the crab before cooking it?

>>10141292
>This is real

https://youtu.be/if0hMg6WjdE

I want giant block of tuna or salmon and just bite into it but I don't trust grocery store raw fish.

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What are some games with a garbage disposal system?

>>10141295
that's really cool but why did he make lingerie out of a carrot

>>10141314
fuuuuuuuuuck

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>>10141215
Is this a rock?
>flambes the rock
Ok that did nothing
>takes a pair of scissors to the rock
Ok its a paper... bag?
>chops off the top and throws away the bag
BEHOLD THIS IS VOMIT
>takes a pair of scissors to the vomit pizza(?)
This looks like the worst birthday ever

>>10141311
because crab souls don't taste good so you want the soul to exit the body before cooking it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdnQ0nO3AcY

TOILET

NICE AND HOT

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OH YES

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Did you know Gordon Ramsay is an actual chef

He doesn't just say he is to get on telly

>>10141310
man that thing is pulcher

>>10141314
>0:42
Oh god my cock.

>>10141283
heating sand on a heater because it's cool to be brown nowadays

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>>10141314
>no pastry gf to eat out her flaky pussy

>>10141304
another thing people often say they wouldnt want to try is horse meat, but its damn good

>>10141314
>croissants
I took this little guys for granted but fuck me dunno how older people got by with out mechanical rollers

>>10141306
To make your food look slutty.

>>10141314
now that's kino

>>10141309
Who is this for?

>>10141322
Why is he so dramatic about it?

>>10141262
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EgVCyNT0Sw

>>10141323
Man i want to learn how to cook so badly.

>>10141333
its his job to make a show out of it

>>10141332
retards

>>10141336
oh no not her

>>10141162
I want to ____ that pizza

>>10141195
In

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Looks like y'all can't appreciate a good homecooked meal.

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>>10141314

>>10141333
There is an element of showmanship to bartending.

>>10141197
You killed my sides. I will have my vengeance.

>>10141333
because people will pay tons of cash to see it

>>10141328
I mean, it can't be that much different from a regular old meat like beef or something if people barely noticed that they were eating stuff with a % of horse meat in it in the UK if they bought meat from Tesco until the scandal came out about it.

I imagine it's probably just fine.

>>10141321
RIP masaokis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w46Dwh4TMGA

>>10141322
Why do they overcomplicate everything

>>10141341
>Americans eat onion and cheese donuts

somebody stop them

>>10141335

Just start doing it you loser.

>>10141200
Aren't those bees?

>>10141336
i never understood the appeal of watching a girl eat food, let alone eat ALOT of it

>>10141336
it's cheating if you have a black hole for a stomach

>>10141228
that's a jap m8

>>10141341
holy fuck, im actually hard rn

>>10141336
I'm convinced this girl has no lower body and her throat is tubed to a porta pooter hidden under the table

>>10141333
Better make it a show if you're gonna buy a $100 drink

>>10141355
It's so hot. I just wish she was eating me. Full digestion too

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Any games where I can cook chicken the correct way?

>>10141349
well those meats were used in processed food where youre barely able to tell whats in it anyways. I'd recommend it to try it sometime, I've had it as sausage, steak and raw (in Japan, they call it basashi)

>>10141273
How often foes he say "two seconds please" when it's more than just two seconds?

>>10141344
Got a source for this with sound?

>>10141351
because it looks cool.

>>10141338
I hate looking at food like this because it looks delicious but by eating it you'd destroy all the hard work that went into making it look that way. Although I suppose that's beautiful in a way, kind of like a delicious sand mandala

>>10141284

I would like to know as well anybody got sauce?

>>10141355
even people with fat fetishes don't like it.

>>10141309
>that punchline
im howling

>>10141346
There's being a good bartender and there's being a douchebag.

>>10141367
Kay's good cooking, or something.
You have been warned.

>>10141182
I'll have Wendy's thanks

>>10141355
It's more that she's tiny and you don't think she can eat all of it.

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Who needs video games when you can learn culinary skills from a comic book?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qLwkT1F4Lc

>>10141341
Holy fuck thats amazing

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>>10141320
Clearly you never been to Louisiana

>>10141351
because idiots will give them insane amounts of money for it

>>10141248
It's dead with the first stab, the rest is just decentralized neural system playing up.

>>10141197
tasty!

>>10141223
Because they actually taste good. The way that's cooked in the webm is practically the standard way to cook eggs, but for some reason where I live everyone has to eat their eggs dehydrated.

>>10141367
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BKcjBaKRkk
Pretty sweet recipe

>>10141322
>lighting the cigar with a lighter

Way to fall at the last hurdle, asshole.

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>>10141377

>>10141357
but it has that squiggly line text in the background. isn't that what korean looks like?

>>10141182
>"That's fine and dandy picasso but i'm starving here"

>>10141385
How the flying fuck do you screw up meatballs?

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>>10141236
You do realize that dairy cows are still slaughtered, right?

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>>10141377
Spidey, please

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Christ, I love these threads

>>10141336
how is that fucking possible

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After all of this horrible, disgusting food, have some good stuff.

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>>10141197
Fucking hell that was a roller coaster

>>10141388
Doesn't it ruin the point of making a vegetable soup if you're going to include meat?

>>10141389
doesnt look like hangul, keep in mind its a reflection and everything is mirrored. I have no clue about the larger text, but the black small text definitely looks like japanese

>>10141389
lol that's english backwards in the window reflection with a paragraph of nip beneath it

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>>10141224
I'm pretty sure there are people autistic enough to enjoy those.

>>10141364
I tried it like this and they were fucking great

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>>10141385

WHY DID I ASK FOR A SOURCE

IS THIS A JOKE?

THIS CANT BE

>>10141394
GALACTUS HUNGERS

>>10141392
What happened to this qt

>>10141344
Mate I fucking wretched halfway through that and couldn't go on any more, that congealed grease and fat jesus christ.

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>>10141399
Yes.

>>10141397
If this isn't the Jack edit I'm going to be mildly disappointed.

Why do chefs seem to smoke so fucking much?

>>10141393
yeah but I don't have to think about that and other food related killing, except when I'm here.

>>10141292
well can it really? i thought cheese "cultures" like wine and other pretentious garbage

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>>10141399

>>10141399
beta cuck detected
i bet you eat salad too faggot

>>10141408
Sandwiches cut into triangles > sandwiches cut into squares. They taste better

>>10141395
How could anybody eat this? I want to puke just from seeing it.

>>10141401
>>10141400
you know i thought the smaller text looked like japanese to but the squiggly stuff threw me off. i stand corrected though

>>10141360
Is all jumpcuts.
She can just do a quick vom between takes.

>>10141393
Of course, how do you think they get the milk?

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>>10141162
I learned how to cook eggs from MGS4

>>10141335
I started about 8 months ago and I learned a lot. My personal favorite website is seriouseats. If you're interested in the science part of cooking, Kenji Lopez is the man. Read his "food lab" articles and buy/pirate his book "The Food Lab".

>>10141336
>4.1kg
No. Just no.

>>10141415
What?

>Ramsay is one of the loudest and overall angry personalities on his own show
>On the Kid's Master Chef show he's incredibly supportive and even quiet, never raising his voice and always looking at the good parts of food

>>10141169
There were literally pools of oil on top of the pizza. You're a fat fuck if you think that pizza tastes good.

>>10141200
Why do asians hate bees so much

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https://www.youtube.com/user/kitazawakikaku/videos

If you thought the Rum Martinez was bullshit, I also suggest the Bloody Sam by the same bartender

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>>10141162

>>10141425
Well they are just kids.

>>10141206
now you know how much work nature has to put in

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>>10141408

>>10141425
Kids have an excuse to be shit, adults don't.

>>10141421
Sunny side up are shit. Over easy is best.

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What are some games where I can make Mexican snack foods?

Part 1

>>10141406
30 and older casuals didn't want the 3DS

>>10141395
You mean videogame threads on the videogame board?

>>10141425
it's almost like they tell him to force it because that's what people want to see and in reality he isn't constantly barking at people or something

>>10141175
You forgot the part where Ramsey plays Councillor for the Owner's problems, and fixes the issue. And fires this no-good head chef for negligence.

Shouldn't these superhero recipes be somewhat related to their character?

someone post the numale making grilled cheese for his wife's son

>>10141425
Ramsay just plays a character most of the time.

>>10141363
STOP
TOUCHING
THE
CHICKEN

>>10141425
We need to help kids git gud.
We need to make grown adults feel like shit for not gitting gud.

>>10141439
>it's almost like
rope

>>10141395
wtf is this shit?

>>10141438
what kind of egg is that

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>>10141435
Part 2

gonna drop this bomb right here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM_KMYulI_s

>>10141434
fuck you man

>>10141438
Wait where do you get giant eggs?

>>10141438
That's a big egg

>>10141435
What the fuck is wrong with beaners holy fuck

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>>10141395
LET'S GO

>>10141448
Probably from something like an Ostrich or Emu.

>>10141452
From giant birds.

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>>10141162
Cooking is only difficult if you're some weirdo with hangups over most of the common ingredients used.
Like how the fuck do you survive or make anything remotely tasty if you claim to not like onions

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CHEF

NICE AND MILKY

>>10141435
I literally ate stuff like this all the time when I lived on the border in Arizona

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>>10141452
Where the fuck do you think, genius?

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>>10141175
RIP my god damn sides

>>10141448
kinder

>>10141453
for you

>>10141438
THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A T-REX

>>10141461
ok but where do you find giant chickens like those

>>10141333

I'd feel kinda ripped off if I gave someone 50 quid for a drink and they just poured a bunch of shit into a cup and threw it at me. It's the look of the thing.

>>10141397
Everything M&S does on TV is pure unadulterated raw sexual food passion

>>10141162
Fuck this is the most entertaning shit on /v/ right there

>>10141467
Australia

>>10141435
>>10141449
Wtf am I watching?

>>10141450
That burger looks like trash.
Thick burgers are just hot sloppy messes.

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>>10141449
>he wasnt done

>>10141257
Looks disgusting, tastes amazing. Who knew?

>>10141461
what the hell are they feeding those chickens

>>10141443
So you're saying he's literally the pewdiepie of cooking? Really gets those neurons firing.

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How do y'all like your steak? I like mine blue-rare.

>>10141461
those are some weird dogs

>>10141463
Ang Lee, 'Eat, Drink, Man, Woman'

A beautiful film

>>10141434
Bitch i'll slap your fucking shit over easy

>>10141472
the last meal of whoever ate this

>>10141259
say whatever, but he knows how to take care of meat

V8 Beef Bovril and Brick Smoothie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDlMLqdvHzI

>>10141433
>>10141430
>>10141445
I understand that, it's just strange seeing how different he acts.
>>10141443
>>10141439
Pretty sure it's only partly an act, with Hell's Kitchen being the major act.

>>10141463
where are these from?

>>10141344
Since I lost hope on humanity long ago, I gotta ask.

Is this ironic or for real?

Someone post ramen sundae

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>needing to be taught how to cook
it's something you just learn as you go, really

>>10141478
What the fuck am I looking at?

>>10141472
It's corn covered with crema, cheese, spicy shit, covered with more corn, crema, cheese, more cheese, and more spicy shit. It's good tbqh

>>10141486
the ocean, that's where fish usually come from

>>382042504
Gook anon, Is that you?

>>10141478
medium rare

>>10141352
it's an onion ring you retard

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Yes there is.

What's the best way to cook salmon? Also /ck/ threads are my favorite off topic threads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFtLvkqHIds
Thread's theme.

>>10141492
fuck you, i laughed but still fuck you

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>>10141177
>All that fucking sugar

>>10141493
is that what you refer to me as? i don't mind

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>>10141438
MAKING THE MOTHER OF ALL OMELETTES HERE JACK

>>10141489
you use a hammmer to open a coconut, right?

>>10141497
bake it

>>10141163
>coming here everyday

get a fucking life

>>10141278
/thread

PLAY COOKING MAMA

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>>10141210
they going to eat that hat?

>>10141489
Wow, they could have killed themselves like three times in this clip

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>>10141488

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>>10141487
Real, her channel is Kays Good Cooking. She has many original recipes.