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Field Kit Inspection: Arbor Day Woes Edition

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Here we are, gentlemen, Planet Nuecullus; A world covered in so much brush and forestry, that one would think it were Catachan itself. Were it not for the distinct lack of poisonous flora and fauna covered in giant teeth looking to devour you. Just mind the six foot tall Mosquitos, and the lakes of noxious slime, and both you and your equipment should be fine.

Lord General Montague, has dispatched our regiment to the planet's surface, in order to clear out a beachhead for settlers to reach the surface. Plain and simple orders, with no easy way for any of you to screw up.

And to make sure that each of you has been properly equipped with a can of Munitorum approved "Oversized Killer Bugger Spray", I am calling for a mandatory field kit inspection.

Without further ado, present arms and equipment for a Field Kit Inspection!

>Welcome to ''Field Kit Inspection", home of the 'Unknown Regiment". Feel free to join in! Remember though, we tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, while green-texts are typically used for describing a character's actions. D20s are for combat checks, while d100s are for other things you wish to roll, with higher typically being better.
>>
>>55416621

>>>/qst/
>>
>>55416621
*Steve sounds*
>>
>>55416621
>Michael would slowly walk out, clearly ragged and weary, looking as if he had not slept for days

Yes... very good Matthias.

Indeed...
>>
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>>55416621
Ah forest, my favourite place! Also that Bug Spray isn't as effective as you may think. Also Barrington present!
>>
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>>55416621
Jefferson present!...ummm colonel sir, do you have any pianos? Also can I not fight, I'm a musician not a fighter
>>
>>55416668
>Michael would be about to release some massive outraged speech about the emperor, but decided he probably didn't have it in him right now
>>
>>55416640
>The Colonel merely nods his head, as he passes by the Bullgyrn.

Very good, Steve...

>>55416654
I figured it wouldn't. But don't let the lads from the Munitorum hear you say that. It'll end badly for everyone involved.

Also, as we're short handed on squad commanders, I've seen fit to promote you to the rank of Sergeant, and I'm giving you command of fourth Company's third squad, Barrington.

The entirety of the squad are barely trained newbies. So I'm hoping your decades of experience might rub off on them, and keep atleast one of them alive long enough to make Corporal.

>>55416642
Dear Emperor, Micheal! What in the Terra's name HAPPENED to you!?
>>
>>55416722
I'll do my best sir!
>Barrington gives a salute
>>
>>55416642
Umm Michael, are you okay? You look like you were reading some forbitten tomes for days without stop
>>
>>55416722
I'm going to guess you asked about why I look so tired because I can't actually hear what you are saying.

I have been mostly deaf since I fought the traitor marines.

I have not slept since that day, spending every waking hour trying to file a request form for a null rod. Over 3000 scribes have died.
>>
>>55416743
What?
Speak up.
>>
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>>55416750
>Matthias would face palm out of frustrations.

Bloody hell! Now my regiment is outfitted with a deaf priest... What next, an assassin that can't hold her bowl movements? A tech-priest powered by urine? Or maybe we'll be given a slutty soroitas!? At least SHE could find the time to fire her weapon!
>He would release an audible sigh, before typing something into his Dataslate, and handing it to the man.

>"Very well, Micheal. I'll see what I can do when we get back to the ship."
>>
>>55416801
What was that about a sororitas?
>>
>>55416801
Don't zing it colonel. Also where can we get poor priest some device that'll improve his hearing?
>>
>>55416791
DO YOU NEED ANY HELP!?
>>
>>55416872
NO.
I AM FINE.

STOP SHOUTING!
>>
>>55416912
I AM GOOD AT SHOUTING
>>
>>55416855
As I told the priest, I'll see about looking into it.

In the meantime, keep your eyes open for trouble. I'd rather we not get caught up in a fire fight, if we can handle it.

>>55416829
>He would type once more into his Dataslate, before showing it to Micheal.

"Nothing for you to worry about, Micheal."
>>
>>55416931
I KNOW!
STOP SHOUTING!

AND WHATS WITH THAT GIANT MOSQUITO BEHIND YOU?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>55416980
> steve whips around fast enough to give a man whiplash, he shoots the bug
>>
>>55416974
Very good colonel.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>55416991
>the insect would try and drink the bullgryns blood forcefully
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>55416974
Of course colonel, I shall start recoinassance this very moment...and try the newbloods too
>Brrington begins to instruct his squad on searching for enemies
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>55417016
Get OFF
> he attacks the insect
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>55417028
>the insect would continue drinking the bullgryns blood
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>55417039
Ow ow ow HELP
> He tries to hit it more
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>55417016
What, oh goody...keep looking for enemies!
>Barrington draws his revolver and starts shooting at mosquito
>>
>>55417046
>>55417050
>the insect would suddenly super die after drinking a large portion of the bullgrys blood
>>
>>55417057
I feel tired
> he faceplants into the ground
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>55417057
Well that's done...
>Barrington searches at his squad, who are slacking off
How is it searching!?
>They suddenly begin to search for enemies again
>>
>>55417064
STAND UP MAN, NO TIME FOR SLEEPING!
>>
>>55417082
I have blood loss, do you have blood I can use?
> he falls again
>>
>>55417101
YOU WONT SUCK MY BLOOD VAMPIRE!

HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A HERETICAL THING?
>>
>>55417120
Not your blood, but spare blood
>>
>>55417140
>Grotesque begins to drag him to medicae
Let's hope they have some blood...or fruit
>>
>>55417072
>a group of 4 mosquitos would be over in the distance
>>
>>55417155
Thank...you person man
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>55417178
Okay chaps, we have mosquitos coming in!
>Barrington would take a shot at them from his sniper rifle
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>55417213
>the shot would go so badly it would attract another mosquito to the conflict
>the mosquitos would quickly fly over and begin sucking blood from him and his troops
>>
Rolled 16, 4 = 20 (2d20)

>>55417232
Gah, get away
>Barrington would try to swathe them with his sabre
>His squad does the same but with knifes
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>55417249
>one of the Mosquitos would go down, leaving 4.
>these 4 would try and drain the group of their blood
>>
Rolled 8, 18 = 26 (2d20)

>>55417260
Ugh, blood, now I will have to wash my clothing
>Group would continue their brawl
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>55417260
>After dragging and leaving Steve at medicae Jeff charges at the mosquitos with his bare fists
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>55417274
>another bug would fall as the rest renewed their attack
>>
>>55417322
Oh, why are they even this tall
>Squad continues to try to slash the mosquitos
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>55417365
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>55417322
>Matthias steadies his trigger finger as he takes aim at one of the abominable mosquitos, through his Hellgun's silver scope.
>Once he believed he had a clear line of sight, he would pull the trigger. Sending a burst of bright red, burning light, towards his target.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>55417365
>the bugs continue attempting to drain blood from the squad
>>
>>55417386
>a bug would suddenly fall down, dead
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>55417397
Ah you fickle bastard!
>Barrington would attempt to stab the mosquito
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>55417386
>the insects would turn to face the new attacker and suck him dry
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>55417437
>Barrington attempts to shoot some in the back
G-go down you bastards
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>55417437
>Letting the gun drop to the ground, Matthias pulls forth his powersword, and would attempt to swing it's gently humming blade, against the creature
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>55417474
>>55417458
>two bugs are struck down in an impressive display of melee proficiency
>one would remain, attempting to kill Barrington and his men
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>55417487
>Barrington charges to face him with his sabre
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>55417501
>the bug would charge headfirst, attempting to drain his heart directly
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>55417532
You are getting nothing more from me you oversized fly!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>55417555
>the insect would repeat its prior action, attempting to impale the man and drain his insides
>>
>>55416636
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>55417532
>Re-sheathing his sword, Matthias once more shoulders his Hellgun, and zooms in through the silver scope.
>Once he believed he had a good angle, he would pull the trigger. Sending forth a burning shot of bright crimson light.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>55417580
I knew I should've taken my medication
>Barrington makes another clash with his sabre
>>
>>55417598
>the bug finally dies, its insides melted and sheared in two by the carefully placed shot
>>
>>55416621
>the muscular elysian could be seen spraying the bug spray everywhere
Gods, I hate planets like this. Urban combat is 10 times better! Anyways, I got some faint electromagnetic pulses coming from 70 klicks east.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>55417580
>he takes out his Accatran Mark IV lasgun, and fires a volley at the giant bugger
>>
>>55417611
WHAT?

SPEAK UP MAN!
>>
>>55417626
Yes, that. It is undeniably a...
>he toys around with his detector
an Imperial Aguile-7 Distress Pattern. I suggest an expedition to that site.
>>
>>55417609
Whew, thanks colonel, could've taken him myself though, heheheh
I'll be right back soon, keep practicing shot cadets!
>Barrington takes some pills
>>
>>55417659
WHAT?

SPEAK UP!

I CANT HEAR YOU!
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>55417667
>>55417659
ooc: forgot to roll
>>
>>55417683
>there would definitely be... something...
>you would have no idea what it was from here however
>>
>>55417683
>>55417718
Well then... Gentlemen, it appears that our coordinates have been set. I suggest an expedition towards that target, we should bring in a strong force just in case.
>>
>>55417774
Okay, let's do that
>>
>>55417774
WHAT?

SPEAK UP!
>>
>>55417814
I agree!
>>55417832
>he turns on his Hearing Aids
There. That should fix it, Michael.
>>
>>55417846
WHAT?
SPEAK UP!

DONT BE SO QUIET!
>>
>>55417611
>Deep inside the ever growing forests. Past the noxious bubbling swamp lakes of Ree-Lune, and past the disease ridden clouds of Mung Flies that surround the Wuijuo Marsh (70 klicks away), would stand a village...
>It's inhabitants would be collected at the village center. Collected around a moss and bug nest encased statue. Many would be beating their hands upon drums, as many others dance, and sing in a ritualistic fasion.
>Video link below, is basically what's being played by the villagers
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NrI-UBIB8Jk
>As a chorus in the background.
>"OGGA CHACKA, OGGA OGGA OGGA CHACKA! OGGA OGGA OGGA OGAA OGGA CHACKA! OGGA OGGA OGAA CHACKA!"
>"AH CANT STOP THIS FEELING~! DEEP INSIDE OF ME~!"
>"OGGA CHACKA, OGGA OGGA OGGA CHACKA! OGGA OGGA OGGA OGAA OGGA CHACKA! OGGA OGGA OGAA CHACKA!"
>"SLANESSH YOU JUST DONT REALISE, WHAT NURGLE DOES TO ME!"
>"OGGA CHACKA, OGGA OGGA OGGA CHACKA! OGGA OGGA OGGA OGAA OGGA CHACKA! OGGA OGGA OGAA CHACKA!"
>"WHEN NURGLE HOLDS ME. IN HIS ARMS SO TIGHT. HE LETS ME KNOW. EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT!"
>"OGGA CHACKA, OGGA OGGA OGGA CHACKA! OGGA OGGA OGGA OGAA OGGA CHACKA! OGGA OGGA OGAA CHACKA!"
>"AAAAAAAYAAAAAAYEEEAAAAAH! WHAT AM I FEELING! IM HIGH OFF THIS FEELING! OF NURGLES ROT IN ME~!"
>At this point, dark spots would begin to form upon the edges of the statues eyes, which would quickly form into tears of bile and filth. Dark clouds of green vapour forming where the droplets begin to form upon the ground below it.
>"BILE SWEET AS CANDY~ ITS TASTE IS ON OUR MINDS!"
>At this point, the skin of the vast majority of the villagers, would begin to form massive clots of pus and rot away where such pus bubbles refuse to form.
>The villagers however, would continue their ritual, even as the air grows sickly green....
>"NURGLE YOU'VE GOT ME SO THIRSTY~ FOR ANOTHER CUP OF PUS~"

>At this point, hideous laughter can be heard, as the camera quickly zooms away from the scene, and back towards the regiment....
>>
>>55417846
ANYWAY, LETS CONTINUE OUR MISSION!

CLEAR THE BEACHHEAD!

CHARGE MEN!
>>
>>55417924
>the sergeant emerges from his tent, sans coat and stretching, his flak jacket over his scarred chest
T-Tell ya what, they play some *cough* funny songs on the radio r-round here.
>>
>Beep Beep
>>
>>55417969
>Matthias would sigh, as Micheal just charged himself into a pond of slime...

>>55417981
Are you SURE you don't want that promotion?
>His eyes almost have a pleading look to them.

Also, there shouldn't be any radio signal's on this world... The population should be feral...
>>
>>55418005
were getting clear signal sir...
here, listen...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jut0-_tMN4
>>
>the man exits a tent, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and short shorts
I heard beach
>>
>>55418138
... I'm surround by idiots....

>He simply points towards the massive half dead trees all around them, as well as the slime filled lakes and ponds.
>He would then point to the six dead giant mosquitos lying on the ground.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>55418005
>Michael would be rapidly swatting at the slime with his chainsword, apparently thinking this was what he was supposed to be doing
>>
>>55418005
>he grimaces
Ehh... I dunno, sir. Still *wheeze* chewin' it over.

>his face drops suddenly
Wait, feral? Shit. I knew somethin' was fucky with *cough* that s-signal. We should g-get movin'.
>>
OH SHIT AM I LATE??
>Ricky stumbles out of his sleeping quarters, flak vest dangling half-closed
>>
>>55418178
>As he swings his Eviserator into the slime pond. It would quickly begin getting jammed full of slime, rotting vegetation, and other assorted swamp goodies.
>A few seconds after the engine went out, he would see something bubble up to the surface.
>Is that... Oh God! That's a severed, bloated human head! And an arm! And half a torso! THRONE ABOVE!
>>
>>55418105
WHAT IS THAT DREADFUL RACKET?
>>
>>55418203
YES YOU FUCK!
GET ON!!!
>the squad is loading into the bus, while the hw team sets up on top.
>>
>>55418245
>>55418175
HEY MATTHIAS!

I FOUND A DEAD BODY!

DO YOU WANT TO FLIP A THRONE TO SEE IF ITS A HERETIC?
>>
>>55418198
>Matthias nods his head.
Agreed. Whatever you're picking up on, it shouldn't be here... See if you can't pinpoint it's source.
>He pats the NCO on the shoulder with a smile.

Good work.

>>55418203
Not at all, Private! We're just preparing to move out.
>>
>>55418262
Lets poke it with a stick
>>
>>55418252
Son of a bitch! Let me get my Las, just a second
>he turns around and quickly rifles through the tent
>returns with a backpack dripping with probably booze
Ready for action!
>adjust helmet, board bus
>>
>>55418275
>Michael would poke it with his jammed eviscerator
>>
>>55418262
What are you talking abo-...
>Matthias sighs, as he remembers that Micheal is 95% deaf.

Emperor above, please help me...
>>
>>55418287
Hmmm try giving it a good whack
>>
>>55418279
>Sgt Bustinut
Trooper, where is the rest of your squad?
>>
>>55418311
Uhh... dead? That or hungover. Do not remember sir
>>
>>55418291
Hello colonel, sorry I'm late, was teaching younglings how to navigate the woods!...lost only one to a slimepond, they are definetly carnivarous
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>55418291
MATTHIAS!

I ASKED IF YOU WANTED TO FLIP A THRONE!

WHAT ARE YOU? FUCKING DEAF?

>Michael would give the corpse a good whack
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>55418272
Arright, lemme j-just...
>he fiddles with his voxcaster, his face darkening
>he mutters under his breath
Swear t-to the Throne, this *huff* better not be what I think it is...
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>55418262
>As he's busy yelling towards Matthias. Micheal would be left unaware of the danger that surrounds him...
>Out of nowhere, a group of bloated hands, would pop out of the slime and attempt to drag the deaf priest into the murky, slimey water beneath.
>While that is happening, shambling out of the slime all around them, would come bloated, boil covered feral humans. Their bodies encrusted with thick slime, and a strong odour of filth and rot.
>>
>The orange coloured Rustalker would stand infront of the people here, his paintjob looking scratched

>His transonic blades would blow a bright blue colour, making the plants around him become covered with a blue hue

>His eyes would also glow blue, his head having some re-wiring indicating that the Ruststalker was completely independent
>>
>>55418324
Oh for the love of...
alright, well get you where you need to-
>Trooper Thel
IS THAT FUCKING TECHPREIST FUCKING WITH MY BUS AGAIN????
>Sgt
No Trooper, just Venswick. he wanted mounted flamers... not working out to well.
alright new meat, just stick with us for now.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>55418340
Oh...filthy uhg
>Grotesque would attempt to sever the hands with his cleaver
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>55418337
Bugger, s-signal's too hazy to pinpoint, not even a vague direc-

>>55418340
Fuck, g-guess that answers that then.
>he pulls his laspistol and fires, other hand still holding the handset
>>
>>55418360
>Ricky tries not to pass out
Sure thing, sir.
Are there like seats or something? I ain't feeling too hot, need some minutes to get sober
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>55418340
AH! HANDS!

I KNEW THERE WAS HERESY HERE!

DIE HANDS!
>>
What in the God-Emperor's name is going on around here?

cleverly disguised "quick rundown pls"
>>
>>55418340
>Each of the men and women that rise out from the murky, slime ponds and lakes around the regiment, seems malformed. Many of their limbs are broken, and twisted. Massive boils constantly popping and oozing pus, before quickly reforming into another boil.
>Depsite the obvious pain they must be in. Each one carries a massive grin upon their face. Their yellow, decaying teeth clentched tightly as they shamble towards the regiment.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>55418403
SEATS? WHO GIVES A DAMN? GIT FIRIN!
>auto guns open up on front targets
>>
>>55418423
>sebustion and zweil
OH BY THE EMPEROR! THE MECHANISMS FRIED!!!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>55418423
OH SHIT
>>
>>55418408
AH, NOBLE SISTER!

WE WRE WALKING AND THERE WERE MOSQUITOS BUT THEN THEY DIED AND WE FOUND A SIGNAL AND THEN WE IGNORED IT AND I GUNKED UP MY EVISCERATOR AND THESE HANDS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!

I DONT KNOW WHY I TOLD YOU ANY OF THAT!
>>
>>55418408
https://discord.gg/fMQmfH ask here if you need one, but to be short we are in a forest planet getting it ready for colonization
>>
Rolled 17, 17 = 34 (2d20)

>>55418340
nevermind I think I found it

Oh for the love of...
>The retributor sister scoffed, raising her multi melta to face the rotten horde
And you didn't even buy me dinner!
>rollan for killyness of the melta
>>
>>55418455
I think my las may have hit one sir! Should I fire some more?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>55418420
>Michael would continue to be in the middle of the slime, swatting the hands with his broken eviscerator
>>
>>55418481
>the troopers clamber to the sides of the second floor, and prepare to open fire.

YES YOU CTR ALT FUCKWIT!!
>>
Rolled 8, 14, 20, 2 = 44 (4d20)

>>55418406
>>55418401
>>55418373
>>55418406
>Surprise attacks are not very good for aiming. As such, the entirety of their attacks miss their marks.
>The newly arrived creatures slowly charge towards their targets. Each one carrying a makeshift spear, or hatchet of some kind.
>The ground that surrounds Micheal, would attempt to bite into him with their slime and bile encrusted teeth. first roll.
>A group of these blasted warriors would attempt to swarm Benedictine, and cut her to bits with their weapons. Second roll.
>A large group would swarm to the battle bus, and attempt to tear it's occupants from their seats inside. Smashing part windows, and tearing apart armour plating with inhuman strength. In order to get to them. Third roll
> A swarm of these being gather around, and engage the ruststalker in hand to hand combat. Their hatchets and Spears encased in slime and mold. Final roll.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>55418340
>The ruststalker would jump into action, attempting to maim and kill the enemies
>>
>>55418506
SORRY, SHOULD'VE FIGURED
>>
>>55418517
meant for >>55418513
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>55418513
Away from me you fithy savages!
>Jeff would begin to swing his cleaver at them
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>55418527
>hands shaking, steadying sights
Fuck, did I put on my flakvest properly?
>turns to check while pulling trigger
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>55418513
This g-got excitin' fast.
>he continues snapping off shots at the approaching horde
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>55418513
What the-
>Barrington would take a shot at the...natives(?)
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>55418513
>Michael would continue to lamely swat at these hands, not really noticing the mass killings behind him
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>55418513
>It doesn't take long for the swarm of bloated warriors to get inside and drag out the occupants within.
>It takes even less time, for them to begin devouring the fools that once called it home. Their teeth ripping through armour and meat, as they slowly devour the squad inside. Their death screams of Mercy going unheard.
>Looking for a 55+ to infect.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>55418557
COME ON CHAPS, KILL THE SHIT OUT OF THESE FUCKING NATIVESYOU SHITS!

IF YOU DIE TO THESE GREEN FUCKS YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE FLAK ARMOUR YOU WEAR!

>rolling to inspire the battle bus squad
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>55418557
>>55418586
>fervor grabs him
>into melee he goes
>tries to make a way for the door
YOU AIN'T GETTING ME TODAY YOU FUCKING HEATHENS
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>55418557
>The screams are horrible, as only The sergeant, trooper Thel, Trooper Venswick, and trooper Sebustion escape with their lives. Trooper Sebustion has lost his legs.

>trooper Thel, running and screaming in rage, throws a grenade at his battle bus, or at least what was once a battle bus.
>>
>>55418629
>Ricky loses his backpack, along with his left arm and eye, but barely makes it out alive
>he needs fielddressing asap
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>55418557
>The ruststalker cannot be infected
>Rolling to attack again since my last attack clearly meant nothing
>>
Rolled 2, 9, 14 = 25 (3d20)

>>55418517
>His blades carve through the bloated husks of meat like it was a heater knife through butter. Blood and pus sent flying as he guts them, and chops off limbs.
>But, despite such hellish and devastating blows. The humans don't seem to mind, as tentacles begin forming where limbs were removed, and great gaping holes were carved.
>>55418535
>He nicks a pus bubbles along one of the arms. Causing pus to shoot forth, and encase his face with it.
>>55418546
>Again, the shot goes wide. Hitting a branch.
>>55418549
>One shot, two shots, three shots, four.... Shots that normally should be killing normal humans, seems to only slow these ones down...
>>55418550
>He's barely able to keep them at bay...
>>55418541
>His shot goes wide, and strikes one of the humans in her arm. Cutting through vast boils, and small tentacles. But still, she, alongside her allies, keep swarming.
>The same scene plays out all across the site, as swarms of feral humans emerge from the swamps, and attempt to cleave apart or outright devour the soldiers of the regiment.
>Once more, the humans around Micheal, attempt to bite and devour him with their teeth. First roll.
>The ones attacking the battle bus, would continue to devour their fresh meals. The squad's still living members crying out for help and mercy as they are eaten alive. One less roll for this turn.
>>55418541
>Several attempt to swarm the lone private Ricky, and devour him as well. Second roll.
>The ones around the ruststalker, would attempt cleave and gut him with their weapons. Final roll.
>>
Rolled 16 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>55418709
>Ricky musters strength, fights like a madman with his right arm, -1 mod due to his one-armedness
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>55418709
>Michael would be cheerily humming hymns to the emperor, paying no attention to anything but the harmless hands below him

>he would continue smashing them with his broken eviscerator and shouting words of encouragement behind him to the regiment
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>55418709
Okay chaps I have some bad news! We are fighting followers of Nurgle! Tought little buggers
>Barrington takes another shot, aiming at the head
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>55418758
>roll to shout encouragement to the regiment
>if successful, +1 to rolls
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>55418744
clearly don't know how to roll quite yet. Also, how to be authorised in discord?
>He gets up, punches one in the face, runs like an idiot, roll to get away
You still won't get me fuckers, woop woop woop
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>55418709
>Puss hit Jeffs mask, making his partially bling for a few moments
Eeeeewwww
>Takes another hit with his cleaver, aiming at it's skull
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>55418709
>he doesn't talk, just fires, gritting his teeth
>>
>>55418786
>limping to a halt
>bleeding out
>Rickio finds a tree, hides
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>55418954
>>
Rolled 16, 4, 17, 10 = 47 (4d20)

>>55418763
>Sadly the shot goes wide, and impacts a tent. Burning a hole through it.

>>55418785
>Next turn, each member of the regiment will feel inspired. Allowing for a +1 to rolls.
>>55418786
>The shot would hit one of the warriors in the leg. Burning a hole through it, from wence a tentacle would form out, and act as a crutch.
>>55418794
>He slices up the majority of those attacking him. Leaving their bodies to decay and fester in the overgrowth.

>>55418786
>One of the swarms of warriors would attempt to pounce upon, and devour the trooper as he attempts to flee. First roll.
>>55418785
>As he is quietly singing his hymns. The same group that had been attacking him, attempts to pull him under, and devour him. Second roll
>Several of the bloated ferals would shamble towards Barrington, and attempt to devour him. Third roll.
>Once more, the warriors would attempt to cut Benedictine to size. Final roll
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>55418974
>the suvivors hide with him, dragging the screaming trooper along.

>trooper venswick opens up with his flamer
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>55418995
>Ricky is nettled by this
>heroiclaststand.png
>>
Rolled 10 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>55418995
Agh, get off you fattie!
>Barrington would attempt to push them away and retreat to the distance
>>
Rolled 9 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>55418995
>Jeff will charge at the ones going after the retreating soldiers
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>55419022
>Rickyboi reaches for a weapon of some sort
IT AIN'T EASY BEING GREEN
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>55418995
>Michael would continue re-enacting one of those old "arcade games" he was not allowed to play after he was sent to schola when his parents died

>aww shit, now he is mildly sad

>he would continue swatting the zombie hands with his broken chain sword whilst singing praise to the emperor
>>
>>55419081
>Ricki is handed the wounded mans rifle.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>55419081
>his heart slowing down, hands faltering, one final stand
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>55419096
SPENDING EACH NIGHT THE COLOR OF THE LEAVES
>unload
>>
>Is still there, despite everything.

>Even with a loss of three limbs, he exists, despite everything.
>>
Rolled 10, 8, 20, 14 = 52 (4d20)

>>55419084
>Sadly, his attack just uselessly hits slime, as he feels sad.
>>55419052
>Although he is able to narrowly escape being pinned down, and eaten. Barrington would feel a sharp pain on the back of his leg.
>Looking down, he would find that one of them had just bit down, and torn off a big chunk of his trousers and bitten of part of the back of his right leg.
>>55419068
>There are simply too many for them to easily get through.
>>55419022
>He simply isn't able to escape their clutches, as the feral worlders pin him to the ground.
>>55419096
>While thrir flamer hits numerous bodies, the sound of boiling pus, along with exploding bubbles is heard, as the pus boils out, and encases the warriors in bile and filth. Protecting them from the flames.

>>The first roll is to determine how bad the chowing down of Ricky goes.
>The second is the zombies once more attempting (and likely failing to) devour Micheal.
>The third is a swarm backing off, and attacking Jeffery.
>The forth, is the zombies attempting to pin down, and devour the last of trooper thel's squad.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>55419123
LETS GO! WERE GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!
>roll for gratata
>>
>>55419123
WHEN I'D RATHER BE ALIVE AND SOMEWHERE ELSE THAN THIS SHITHOLE
>BREEM
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>55419178
>Michael would now be deeply saddened by the distant memory of his parents, wow, he couldn't even remember their faces

>he took his anger out of these fucking hands
>fucking hands
>stop reminding me of my parents you stupid fucking hands
>>
Load up you lot!
>20 or so pull in, crushing several zombies, and extracting several squads of men
>>
>>55419178
>all his might to get the fuck out of this shit

>>55419233
>crawlinginmyskin.wav
>>
>>55419178
>Jeff would collapse under the onslaught, losing one arm
>>
>>55419280
HELP ME SWAT THESE FUCKING HANDS YOU SHIT!
>>
>>55419346
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE CAN YOU NOT SEE THE PICKLE I AM IN?
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>55419178
>Barrington would stagger to the woods, trying to hide
>60+ to get +1 next round
>>
>>55419352
NO.
>>55419342
STOP SLEEPING ON THE JOB YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF GROX SHIT
>>
>>55419376
Uuuurghhhh
>>
Rolled 8, 11, 16 = 35 (3d20)

>>55419181
>The grenade is enough to get rid the last of the squad chasing them.
>>55419230
>Sadly he isn't able to get rid of any.
>>55419342
>>55419353
>Please roll a d100 save for me
>>55419352
>The first roll, is the tribal zombies attempting to devour the poor trooper.
>>55419342
>The second roll, is the zombies continuing to devour jeffery
>>55419230
>The final roll, is that same squad attempting to bring down, and devour Micheal(if this somehow succeeds on a natural 20...)
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>55419376
Ok, fine, fucking priest ass mook
>frenetic slapping

>>55419401
>still not quite dead. Getting there though.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>55419401
Urrrgggghhhh
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>55419401
>Michael would suddenly be shocked by the hands increased fervour, as they struck and battered his rosarius

Oh? Got fight in you you fucking shits?
>Michael would be on the verge of tears remembering his parents

FUCKING EAT SHIT!
>chainsword attacks
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>55419401
Grrrrhhhh...damned leg
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>55419401
>changing tactic, Van Kleez aims carefully and sends precise shots at the zombies, trying to ignore his comrades being eaten around him
>>
>>55419450
STOP DYING YOU FUCK!
THEY ARE ONLY HANDS!
>>
>>55419413
>Ricky's brother is running onto the scene
SHIT RICK WHAT IS GOING ON HERE
>>
>Abominatus would be playing with spiky cyber-dongs in the backround
>>
>>55419596
I would worry more about Jefferson, chap has no arm is unconcious
>>
>>55419413
>If you want to escape, use a d100 please.
>The tribals can't seem to keep him pinned down. Let alone get a good bite or seven on him.
>>55419428
>Thanks!
>>55419450
>Thanks!
>>55419441
>He manages to beat one of them down, but the rest keep swarming after his delicious, holy flesh...
>>55419462
>The shot goes wide, sadly.

>Once more, the attackers attempt to bite down upon Micheal. Being too far away at this point, to join in the attack. First roll.
>Second roll is the tribal once more attempting to hold down, and chomp upon Rick's body.
>The final roll, is a swarm of tribals attempting to pin down, and devour van Kleez.
>>
Rolled 8, 14, 7 = 29 (3d20)

>>55419656
>>
>>55419656
>Ricky seizes an opportunity
GOTTA GO FAST
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>55419671
>Michael would be happy that the hands were back to being mostly harmless and try and hold back the tears whilst slapping them down
>>
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>55419656
Alright ya b-bastards, ya wanna go? Let's 'ave a go.
>he pulls out his icepick and dives into the mob
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>55419656
>Barrington takes a shot at zombies
This day is going well...
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>Abominatus turns Up behind a plague zombie

>Rolling for RAPE
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>55419656
>Jeff suddenly wakes up and punches one of the zombies
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>meanwhile, Johnnie runs in for the slap. He trips, instantly knocked out.
>ricky's roll
>>
Rolled 19, 2 = 21 (2d20)

>>55419721
>>55419728
>Their combined efforts, is enough to finish off a squad of plague zombies.
>>55419744
>>55419729
>>55419744
>Sadly, there is no stopping this train it would seem.
>>55419758
>There will be no escape for him this time, as the zombies merely pile atop of him. Fully intending to devour and savour their meal. First roll
>The second is the zombies swarming around van Kleez.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>55419806
You trying to play hard to get huh?
>Rolling to rape
>>
>Ricky is dead. He bled out. Also the zombies didn't help.
>Johnnie wakes up. He sees his brother dead.
WELL BUTTER MY COCK
>ULTRASLAP
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>55419806
>Jeff would feel a bit sick
Uhhh, I should get to medicae
>He picks up a rotten cleaver from one of the natives and attacks
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>55419837
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>55419806
>Barrington takes a shot of whiskey and continues shooting
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>55419806
>Michael starts getting bored.
>he finally gets over his parents and begins methodically murdering the hands
>>
>>55419870
ARE YOU DRINKING?
BARRINGTON WE ARE ON A MISSION!
>>
>>55419963
Eh, it helps numb the pain chap, besides my thermos in in swamp
>>
>>55419963
>the man stabs the bottom of a beer can with a combat knife then opens it, chugging it through the knife hole
The *burp* emperor protects
>>
>>55419963
Oh shut up, he needs the morale. Fuck, I need the morale.
>hearty drinking of dubious homebrew commences, fight ongoing
>>
>>55419991
>>55419990

WHAT?
SPEAK UP LADS!
>>
>>55419994
Ah fuck, who even cares.
>Michael begins getting fucking wasted
>>
>>55419998
I SAID
>The man cups his hands right against the priest's ear
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS
>>
>>55420008
What? Were on break? Okay good job lads you really killed it.
>Jeff shakes hands with one of the zombies
>Jeff goes to everyone else and gets a drink
Cheers
>>
>>55420012
AH GOOD!
NO NEED TO SHOUT!
>>
>>55420035
THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID STOP FRATERNISING WITH THE ENEMY SOMEBODY GET A COMMISSAR HEEEEELP
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>55420065
What?
SPEAK UP MAN!
>roll for intoxication
>>
>>55420065
Eh? I thought were on break, look.
>Jeff points at a bunch of zombies eating packed lunches and talking about their families
>>
Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d20)

>>55419874
>>55419870
>>At this point, the tribal Plague zombies, would begin burble and bloat up. Their bodies increasing vigorously in size with each passing second, until, finally, they explode in a shower of visera and pus.
>First for Micheal, second for jefffery.
>>
>>55420100
Well that happened...Imma go to medicae now and get new arm
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>55420100
URRUUGHHH, EMPAAH FUURK BEEEUGH!
WHYYY U GOON BEH SO VIOLENHTH!
>roll for chainsword
>>
>>55420100
>Johnnie is reeling
Whoa.
>>
>>55420100
They exploded, how about that. Now, who wants whiskey?
>>
>>55420125
>lends support to Jeff
Hey, you don't look too hot
>>
>>55420154
>Michael would shamble over, having not been wounded or even hurt during the entire battle
ALLLCOOHOOL...
ALCHOL
>he would trip on a branch and fall over
>>
>>55420164
Well besides the tubes and bones that are sticking out because I'm a crime against nature, I do miss and arm and I think I might be sick
>>
>>55420207
FUCK
WE NEED A BOTTLE OF BOURBON STAT
>>
>>55420207
Here chap
>Barrington throws him a bottle
>>
>Abominatus would be using a zombie as a fleshlight in the backround
>>
>>55420154
G-Gimme somma that shit, my man.
>he reaches for the bottle, pours a good half of it into his respirator and slams it back down again
>>
>>55420210
>Johnnie doesn't judge, his brother was into some definite heretical shit anyways
Yeah, I can tell that. I meant more as a statement of support. You're pretty big, so that is the best I can do
>>
>>55420233
>Michael would quickly down the entire thing and begin babbling about his parents deeply
>>
>>55420269
Nah, you don't need to, painkillers in some of these tubes numb the pain very well
>>
>>55420281
Okay then, I'll go back to my bottle of shroom vodka
>he retches loudly, still somewhat affected by a combo of his brother's death and Jeff's appearance
>>
>>55420306
>>55420281
ON WHAD!

CLEAH THE BEECH EAD!

CHLARGGGEEE!
>Michael would run towards the beach
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>55420344
>Johnnie attempts to knock the priest out such that he may recover
You ain't useful drunk
>>
>>55420306
Okay then
>Jeff goes back to the camp, to medicae tent
Hey doc, I'm missing an arm and I might be sick
>>
>>55420364
>he would miss completely as the mad priest would begin to get into range of the beach
>>
>>55420388
Oh, the beach!
>Viktor unravels a large towel with an ugly floral pattern on it
>Van Kleez is in the middle, passed out
>>
>>55420520
Ummm Viktor,chap this planets just has swamps and bogs, maybe a lake somewhere
>>
>>55420535
>the man moves in close, breathing whiskey breath on the elderly man as he whispers in his ear
beeeeeach
>>
>>55420535
>Michael calls back
NOH!
BECH!
LUK!

>Michael arrives at the distinctly average beach and collapses on the mildly yellow sand
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>55420574
>Johnnie once again attempts to slap the priest out of his hallucinations
No, that is Nurglite pus.
>>
>Despite everything, is still there.
>>
>>55420608
>Jeff comes near him, missing an arm
Hey buddy, where's medicae?
>>
>>55420608
WOLFE!

GET OVVAH HER!
>>55420603
>Michael would be rolling around the sand of the beachhead
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>55420624
>the man swigs a bottle of whiskey
I CAN INTO DOCTOR
>Rolling to make a new arm from stuff
>>
>>55420520
>he burbles quietly
>>
>>55420658
>the man jams a stick that looks vaguely like an arm with a hand on the end into the stump
BADA BING
BADA *burp* BOOM
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>55420658
I-burp-I'm telling you, you uhhh you don't know what hands are, let me show you
>Barrington makes an arm, while drunk
>>
>>55420693
Do you think you could bring Ricky back line that?
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>55420705
>Michael makes him an arm entirely out of compressed sand
>>
>>55420693
I would be screaming if I wasn't filled to brim with drugs...
>He removes the "hand" and throws it away
>>55420705
Maybe you should sleep oldie
>>55420718
Eh that'll do for now, thanks
>He showes the "Sand hand" into the stump
>>
>Still exists.

>Despite everything.

>Silently, watches all from within a Chimera.
>>
Rolled 14, 52, 2 = 68 (3d100)

>>55420780
>Michael picks Wolfe up and lays him on the sand
>he then tries to fashion him new limbs made out of sand
>>
>>55420780
>he picks up his vox handset
>he burbles at Wolfe
>>
>>55420835

>Sardonically, asks through the Chimera's vox to order him a Pizza.
>>
Rolled 37, 20, 11 = 68 (3d100)

>>55420803
>Michael would attempt to make three more limbs for the man, one leg and two arms.

>he is clearly very drunk
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>55420715
>Johnnie goes over to Ricky
>Performs CPR
>looking for a 99+ to revive his brother
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>55420865
>Michael begins the arduous task of building a warlord titan
>roll to suddenly and inexplicably build a warlord titan out of sand
>>
Uhhhh-ey chaps, how about w-burp-we build a titan here?BUUUURP
>>
>>55420835
NO TIME FOR BURBLE
WE NEED SAND AND ALSO A VAGUELY 80's SONG FOR A MONTAGE
>The man jams a bottle of whiskey into a post on his mask, then a salt shaker of something that smells like sulphur
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>55420865
>he changes frequency to the Munitorum Food Requisition Service
>he burbles emphatically
>rolling for communication
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>55420896
OKAY CHAP, Imma....Imma build him one leg
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>55420904
>>55420900
>>55420896
COME YOU FUCKS!

HELP ME WITH THIS TITAN!

LETS BUILD THE SOLID DETAILS NOW!
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>55420917
>rolling for sand and stick molding skill
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>55420917
Y-ya don't have to ask twice!
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>55420896
>Johnnie fashions an aquila out of some nearby sticks
>shoves it into Ricky's forehead
>return to cpr, looking for a 98+ to succeed
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>55420924
NO NO!
THIS IS ALL WRONG!

YOU DO IT LIKE THIS!
>>
>>55420904
>he breathes deeply and gurgles a bit
>suddenly he's back on his feet
ALRIGHT F-FAGGOTS LET'S *cough* GET THIS SHITSHOW ON THE ROAD
>he whacks the vox over to the radio
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4 starts playing
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>55420931
I can *burp* help!
>the man stomps on Ricky's chest
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>55420931
>Johnny gives up on his brother
>He drags it over to the would-be titan
>enterrs it
>roll to meld psyche of Ricky to the titan
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>55420931
Outta my w-way, I'm a d-doctor!
>he pulls a large syringe full of green fluorescent liquid and jams it into the stiff
>large number to succeed
>>
>>55420947
>the man's foot goes clean through Ricky's ribcage
...shit, I lost another one
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>55420931
I can help
>Jeff detaches tubes filled with drugs and pours them at him
>Roll to revive, 99+
>>
>>55420956
>the Titan would at last be complete, full in its sandy glory
>it would begin activating, Ricky's soul bonded to it
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>pissed and tired
I am so fucking nettled. Going to sleep. Tell me if you manage to build the fucking sand titan.
>passes by the zombies, battle bus and whatever to loot
>>
File: Horus.png (998KB, 765x1043px)
Horus.png
998KB, 765x1043px
AT LAST I HAVE RETURNED! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>55421045
Why are there HEADS on your armour
IT LOOKS AWFUL
>>
Rolled 45, 50, 8 = 103 (3d100)

>>55421045
>the warlord Titan made entirely of sand would begin to open fire upon Horus
>>
>>55421045
Oh, you again. Lemme g-get my broom.
>>
>>55421045
>whacks him with a broom
GIT! GIT OUT YA VARMINT
>>
>>55421043
>Ricky finds a boltgun, carapace armor and some whiskey
>>
Rolled 14, 2, 17 = 33 (3d20)

>>55421060
Wrong dice
>>
>>55421057
Oh please! Heads and skulls are very fashionable in the Imperium
>>55421060
HAHAHA, YOUR PUNY TITAN CAN DO NOTHING AGAINST ME!
>>55421061
OH-oh no, DON'T DO IT
>>55421070
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>Horus dissapears into immaterium
>>
>>55421111
Well, *burp*, that happened. Who's up for another round?
>>
>>55421129
SAND TITAN IS UP FOR ANOTHER ROUND
>>
>>55421111
YEAH EAT A DICK DUMBSHIT
>>55421129
>the man mixes some powder and weird purple liquid with bourbon and absinthe
LET'S GOOOO
>>
>>55421144
Aight!
>Barrington throws flask at titan
>>
Rolled 10 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>55421144
I'LL FIGHT YA SAND TITAN
EN GARDE FUCKBOY
>he pulls out his icepick and charges
>>
Author's note: thread captain left the thread, this is what he gets
>>
Rolled 1, 19, 1 = 21 (3d20)

>>55421172
>he would take a chunk out of the titans leg
SAND TITAN IS ANGER!

>the Titan would open fire with sand bullets on kleez
>>
Rolled 2, 20 = 22 (2d20)

>>55421191
>two of the titans arms would collapse
>roll to hit kleez with them
>>
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>55421191
>the volley of sandfire would bury the sergeant
>all is quiet for a couple of minutes
>he then bursts out from beneath the titan, going directly for the crotch while screaming like a maniac
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>55421230
>the Titan has a large chunk taken out of its crotch

>roll to step on kleez
>>
>>55421230
>>55421170
>>55421155
>Michael would show up, wearing an eye patch

YARR MATEYS!

LETS TREASURE BE DIGGIN YARR!
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>55421383
Okay you scalywag!
>Roll for looting
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>55421459
YARR!
THATS NOT HOW YOU DO LOOTIN!
LOOK AT THIS YARRR
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>55421383
YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>roll for diggin', me hearties
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR
>Swigs rum and digs
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>55421487
Harr harr ahrrr
>Carries a barrel of rum and digs
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>55421515
OI, YA FIUND SOME ANCIENT TREASURE THARR!
THAAT LOOKS LOIK SOME PRIME IMPERIAL SIVER KT DOED!

ALL I GOT WAS BRONZE YA SCALLYWAG!
>roll for further looting
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>55421543
YARRRR M80 I'M FEELING PROPER PRATEY YAR'HARRR AYE AYE KEEL HAUL BOTTLE O RUM
>Rolling for more digging
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>55421543
>Barrington found 3 thrones
YARRRRR
>Rolling for more lootin' and diggin'
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>55421557
YAAAR! More booty, for my booty pile!
>rolling for more booty
>>
>>55421557
>he finds the hidden legendary treasure of lord solar macharius long lost uncle
>>
>>55421581
YARRR, I'M RICH! RICHER THAN MY WILDEST DREAMS WHICH BEING A BUREAUCRAT ARE NOT THAT WILD BUT WHO AM I TO JUDGE YARR!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>55421543
HARR HARR YAR HARR HARR, I hope I'll get a new arm some day!
>Roll for looting
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>55421602
>he finds an arm made of solid wood.
>it looks like it was made for a giant starfish

>Michael would dig
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>Rolling to construct an imperial knight out of cybernetic penises
>>
>>55421740
URAAGG, WASSSSAT?

WASS AT THIN?
>>
>>55421765
DOOOOONGS
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>55421765
>Rolling to built michael a huge cyber-cock
>>
>Despite everything, still exists.
>>
>>55421777
>>55421793
>grabs it and glues it directly to wolfes head
>>
>>55421802
YES
IT CAN BE A DIVINING ROD
FOR MORE TREASURE
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>55421793
>Attempts to stealth-rape you so you wont even know I'm raping you when I'm raping you
>>
Rolled 80 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>>55421813
>Michael would grasp the divining rod and use it to find treasure
>>
>>55421864
OH LOOK A TITAN HOW MAGICAL AND SHIT WOWSER
>>
>>55421864
>an entire blood ravens dreadnought, abandoned in the sand
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>Dirge would be sitting on his own, making sand castles

>rolling to see how good my sand castles are
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>55421877
YES OK HERE IT IS TITAN
>>55421793
IN YOU GO, GO AHEAD HOP IN YOU LIVE IN HERE NOW
>The man slams the cripple into the titan, jamming wires into him at random
>Rolling for how fucking painful it is ow nigga quit it shit
>>
>>55421924

>Compared to the agonies of past wounds, the connection is paltry.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>55421924
>Michael would slap a purity seal on Wolfe and the dreadnought

>roll to attempt to interface Wolfe and the dreadnought.
>>
>>55421951

>The connection fails, but, it seems, only just.

>A short bolt of pain shoots through Wolfe. But little else.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>55421974
B-be careful dere...ughhh
>Barrington goes to camp to party
>Roll for party
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>55421974
WHORK YA FUCKIN NAUT
>re-attempt connection
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>55421974
>Jeff picks Wolfe up with his new arm
Okay, I think I saw space marines do it once
>Jeff tries to stuff Wolfe into the dreadnought and to connect him
>Roll for interface
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>55422027
I CAN FIX
>Rolling to turn it off and on again
>>
>>55422027
>>55422033
>>55422034

>Unbearable agonies surge through him. He nearly bites his tongue off in his writhing.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>55422034
NO NOH, LIKE THIS!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>55422059
>roll to summon the emperor to fix everything
>>
>>55422063

>He is all but blown out of the Dreadnought, he lands somewhat away, twitching.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>55422084
>I shove him back in and try and reconnect him
>>
>>55422084
YAY HE'S STILL ALIVE

I think

>pokes the cripple with a stick
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>55422059
Hmmm, let's try it this way
>Tries to inteface him again
>>
>>55422093
>>55422102

>Nope, not working.

>Parts spark and turn, but not quite working.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>55422112
I'AM NOT GIVING UP!
>Tries again
>>
>>55422122

>The machine spirit gives out a burst of Binary.

>Translated, it says horrible things about the Mothers of all those present.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>55422112
WHAT IF I SHOVE THIS PLUG UP HIS ASS?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>55422144
WHY YOU LITTLE! JUST GET IN!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>55422157
>>55422153

>The Dreadnought sparks, and smashes Jefferson in the head with and arm, and turns the mounted Flamer on Michael
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>55422144
INSERT PLUG A DIRECTLY INTO URETHRA
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>55422171
...meh
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>55422171
MOO
>>
>>55422223
>>55422171
Alright, awesome, you're in the thing
>slaps a purity seal on the dreadnought's crotch
I'm fucking hungry
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>55422239
LETS SET UP A SUCCESSFUL RESTAURANT CHAIN THEN!
Thread posts: 335
Thread images: 6


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