So anything funny happen?

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>Be Party Cleric
>Party consists of simple peasant longbowman and his superstitious barbarian friend, plus a highly educated elf wizard
>Elf wizard has fallen unconscious in middle of tavern
>Nasty black pus seeping from eyes
>Fuck
>rush over to his side to make a heal check, try to see what's up.
>Roll a natural 1
>Well... Fuck it let's roll with it
>Look up at the rest of the party with a completely straight face

"Guys... We're already dead... this is the black death..."

Cue the entire tavern erupting into pandemonium as the party tries to block off the exits in a makeshift quarantine while the tavern patrons desperately try to escape... we spent three IC days in that Tavern before the guard came in with a local cleric, who confirmed it was in fact not the black death affecting our friend.

>>55402382
Nice.

>First time for a new player to play a rogue
>Come to a trapped gate
>Mage says " go earn your keep rogue"
>Rogue :" I roll to search for traps"
>Finds a trap
>"I roll to disarm the trap....good dammit, I didn't take any ranks of disarm!!"
>Lots of laughs..
>Did you accidentally put the ranks in the skill above or below disable?
>"Oh, ya...lol. may I switch it?"
>"Sure man."
>Nat 1...trap pops for 1d8
Later...
>Rogue is the face as well.
Dm:"give me a diplomacy check, try to sway this guy's opinion of you a little"
>Rogue: "er...no ranks in diplomacy, I took it off for disable device"
>Rogue: "I may not be a good rogue guys"

Anyway, it was amusing at the time.

>>55402069
>Playing only war, party consists of a Sargent, a medic, commissar, and a heavy weapons specialist.
>We end up in combat with a small ork patrol, things are going well till 2 of the Brutes close in for Mele with the commissar.
>He fails every roll to hit or part and gets his kneecap blown off
>Sargent charges in to help only to get a 100 and fall flat on his face on the charge
>It's at this point that our medic has a wonderful idea
>"I throw a grenade at them"
>"That might hit our guys are you sure?"
>"Yes"
>"Do you want to aim it back and try to only catch the orks with the blast?"
>"No I aim right for the center"
>He rolls and hits it dead on frag blowing up in their faces, and killing the two orks.
>Commissar and Sargent jump up and start shooting at the medic for insubordination and endangering a commissar
>Fail every roll
>Medic runs away and for the next half hour the two chase him missing ever shot
It was fucking priceless

>>55402069

If I wanted to laugh, I would ask you your 1 dpr max

>>55402069

I got one.

>Be bard, playing a pre-written scenario
>Had to retrieve the remains of some dude on a mountain
>Went down the mountain on dogsleds, got attacked by rival faction
>Barbarian wants to muderize all of them
>FULL STOP! Almost fuck up the DC 20 handle animal check, but lucky I had a reroll
>When enemy caster gets in range, she casts blindness/deafness
>I fail my save
>Barbarian readies an action to bullrush and then bullrushes with his AoO.
>Two successes, both enemies are flung from the sled and the dogs go off down the hill
>I CAN'T FUCKIN SEE!
>I CAN'T FUCKIN SEE!
>THESE FUCKERS ARE CHASING US DOWN A MOUNTAIN
>WE'LL GET THEM. WE'LL KILL THEM WITH GLEE!
>Inspiring Performance.

Never went blind before. That adventure was a blast.

>>55402069
> DMing a DnD parody based on Clichaea map and Savage Flower Kingdom rules.
> The party archer goes to an archery competition, the rest of the party (cleric, witch, and rogue) go to the smith to get equipment.
> Cleric buys equipment he needed for gold he had.
> Thief steals a short sword, roll, success. "OK, you've stolen it and got away with it".
> Witch decides to steal a cute chainmail bikini (working as a super-light armor for witches).
> "OK, what do you do?"
> "I cast invisibility and steal it". Roll, fail.
> "Rogue, cleric, archer - you hear a loud noise and see a chainmail bikini quickly flying away from the smith's shop hovering 1 meter above the ground. The smith is running after it yelling profane swearings."

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>>55402069
I guess it's a good a time as any to share this

>enemy caster summons an area full of tentacles that hold down our monk
>our summoner, in an unprecedented act of kindness, rushes in to grab him and get him out of the area using dimension door
>he picks a square that's near the rest of the party
>gm says that there's someone in that square, and thus must be teleported to a different, random square
>rolls to see where they end up
>they're back in the tentacle area

honestly it was the funniest thing to happen at the table in weeks

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>Party come to a bridge
>Right next to tavern
>We are on a secret mission because sauron is coming back to life and causing shit
>Local thugs at bridge. Wanting troll
>copper for each leg, two donkeys, three humans, an elf and two dwarfs.
>dwarfs are too busy talking amounts themselfs
>Half price for these guys right, snice they are only half sized
>"Errrr... Ok"
>2 cp for the gold, 4 for the donkeys and 2 for the other humans
>"A? what about the elf"
>"Oh yes silly me here have a sliver a keep the change" (10cp)
>"Oh thanks"
>Complete our mission
>I miss next week, due to illness. Nasty Cold
>Other human dies, One dwarfs dies, flee from terrors.
>Come to the bridge
> dwarfs moaning the lost of this lords child starts a fight over paying
>Gets face kicked in by 20 guys
>Last Human pays 50 gold to save his life

Table buys me a pot of vitamins and asked not to go off sick again.

>>55405288
Fucking TOLL not troll. Geeze.