Have you ever made a character who just fucked up everything?

I am in the process of coming up with one. He is based on a guy I work with who fucks or fumbles mostly everything he touches. On the occasion that he does get something right, he takes a really long time to do it. I have nicknamed him Dingus Fingers, because it's like he has penises instead of fingers.

>>55380728

Theon is one of my favorite fantasy characters. It's clear that he's just an experiment by GRRM to make a character absolutely irredeemably hateable and then test to see how much he needs to punish him before the reader is forced to feel pity.

>>55380874
So the experiment was a double failure?

>>55380728

He's going to lose his tongue and be sacrificed along with post-rape, pregnant Yara in a magic ritual by Euron, right?

>>55380945
Experiments do not result in failure. If your experiment has a goal, it's not an experiment.

>>55380874
So clear that it must be transparent because you actually missed it.
The Ironborn are orcs, sample chapter for TWoW combined with their known history and behavior pretty clearly paints that picture now.
Theon is thus an orc-child raised against his will amongst humans and thus made decent and functional, only his earlier resentment towards them for his kidnapping causes them to idiolizd his former culture despite how it badly clashes with his current personal identity, and thus he overreacts and tries very hard to show how he's still an orc at heart despite not really feeling it and not really living it like the rest of his culture does.

>>55380965
It is absolutely a failure if you fail to even start it up properly.

>>55380945
No. You're a double faggot.

>>55381081
Don't project.

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I did. I'm playing an elf who got kicked out of Elf-Nazi club for being too extreme and calling Elf-Hitler the equivalent of a Jew-fucker. So now I'm a fanatical, comically racist elf whose only job is to make it through her exile while retaining the dignity of her people in some desert shithole full of retarded sand-humans. Oh, and not fuck any of them. Because that'd be the one thing that would render her a total hypocrite and make any dignified return to the Elf-SS impossible.

Five sessions in she's pregnant with some disinherited prince's babby because she has poor impulse control and drinks. You had one job. ONE. Job. I live in dread of the day when I have to go back to the NatElfSoc club and try to cover all of this up.

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>>55381181
don't try so hard next time

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>>55381193
I guess the upside is that if you don't believe me, I don't have to be embarrassed for admitting I fucked up this hard.

Nah. Don't won't to be accused of self-inserting.

Not everything.
But my guy was a knight sworn to the god of death/sleep/dreams and shit and we stumbled upon a store that sold some lowkey magical items. My character was interested in an urn filled with ashes and purchased it to bury it at the next proper graveyard.
So on our way to the next town my guy had a prophetic dream of sorts, basically my DM handed me a note saying I dreamed of a skull, water falling down, etc., can't remember exactly, but it was some cryptic shit.
Now, instead of doing the obvious, that is keeping that damn urn safe and shut, I completely misinterpreted the dream and while the rest of the party was shopping in a black market that had been set up in an old temple of one of the settings main gods (and which my religious shmock of course wouldn't enter) I openen the urn and let a single drop of water fall into it.
Next thing the party saw when they stepped out of the temple was me, standing weapon in hand, next to a twirling cloud of ashes that slowly assambled into an evil looking skeleton.
Said skeleton then summoned a sick chariot drawn by skele horses and rode off south.

>>55380993
Cool analogy.

>>55381681
Not so much of an analogy considering Euron Greyjoy is now basically using the Eye of Sauron as his personal coat of arms and wears spiky black Valyrian steel armor while Aegon VI is an isolated prince trained solely for rulership in secret given his long-lost ancestral sword as he goes to reclaim his throne. Martin's doing a faux-LotR reference thing to go with his setting's existing faux-Elric of Melnibone and faux-Conan in the history.
Aegon even SOUNDS like Aragorn for god's sake.

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>>55380728
I made a superpowered Hulk in Mutants and Masterminds who fucked up everyONE. Didn't matter if it was an enemy or a friend, eventually he punched everyone.

He punched not!Godzilla so hard that her offspring felt it.
He grappled his not!Emperor(Star Wars) teammate and threw him so hard at the battlesuit they both took damage from it.
And in the end he used a motherfucker as an improvised weapon even after he passed out, almost killing the guy. (I am pretty sure that dude never walked again, at the very least)

>>55380993
Like incompetent Worf?

>>55381702
But Jon is Aragorn, not Aegon. For fuck's sake, he's even a ranger.

>>55380993
>the ironborn are orcs
>who is Euron
>who is Victarion
>who is Aeron Damphair
>who is Rodrik Harlaw
cmon anon, they might be mostly shitters but they aren't entirely irredeemable

>>55381727
>using unconscious cunts as improvised weapons
Brother?

>>55382029
ok, rodrik and aeron aren't orcy, but victarion and euron are for surten.

>>55382068
Put 'em here brother!

>>55382029
Doesn't Victarion spend his entire narration being angry and violent towards things he's too stupid and/or dogmatic to understand? He's textbook orc.

>>55382114
Even Aeron has a bit of Eye of Gruumsh in him

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>>55382029

>>55382029
Victarion is like super orc. Euron is not an orc, though, yes. He is Sauron.

>>55380874
Geoffrey is way more hateable than Theon. Even at the worst point Theon isn't as gut-wrenchingly hateable as Geoffrey.

>>55382299

More like Saruman.

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>>55380874
You were supposed to hate him?

>>55381953
this implies there's a competent worf

>>55382336
I find it hard to hate Joffrey because all he ever does is to impress -and later live up to the memory of- his "father". He's a complete shit because Cersei and Robert made him one.

>>55380993
>>55381702
Fuck me, this site gets dumber every year and the troltastic strung along straw graspings of ways that GoT is supposedly stealing tolkenish stuff gets dumber every week.

>>55382487
I remember there was a scene in the first season, right after he gets schooled by Arya's dire wolf. Cersei is fusing over his arm and he has a brief moment where he, in his own messed up way, sort of realizes that he did something wrong. It's wrapped up in his obsession with being strong like Robert, but it's there. And then Cersei just sweeps it all away and tells him that the truth is whatever he wants it to be, so he can just claim that he was strong and that's that.

>>55380874
Theon is easily my favourite Game of Thrones character, precisely because he is not perfect. He makes mistakes, big mistakes and regrets it. He easily has the most depth out of them all, especially compared to anime-style Mary Sue "protagonists" like Daenerys and Jon Snow.

>>55382617
Jaime is my favourite PoV character for many of the same reasons. Too bad the TV show fucked up his character.

>>55382637
showfag here. how so?

>>55382785
Jaime in the books is a very conflicted character, who begins as Cersei's lapdog and a very dishonorable man, but after he meets Brienne, she reminds him of an idealistic man he used to be.
He gradually distances himself from Cersei as her madness grows, and while his lost hand means he will never be a warrior again, he finds there are other purposes in life - justice, peacemaking. He fantasizes about shedding his Kingslayer identity and becoming Goldenhand the Just.

His relationship with Cersei is portayed as twisted and abusive. She manipulates and uses him, and while he loves her, she is only capable of loving herself. This is why she ditches him when he loses his hand and grows a beard - he is no longer her reflection in the mirror, both on the outside and the inside.

His arc ends with hum refysing to help Cersei in the Sparrow business, leaving her to her fate. Instead he chooses to save Sansa.

>>55382843
>idealistic man he used to be.
he never was. That was the entire point. Even characters like Arthur Dayne, Barristan the bold and others who are held up as the pinnacle of knighthood stood outside night after night as Aerys raped his wife. They stood aside when he burned people alive. Jaime was basically told that his duty is to guard the king no matter what.

>>55382843
Isn't the show beginning to go down that road with (spoiler for last episode)

near the end of the final episode, where he refuses her order to betray Danaerys/Stark alliance.

That being said, I did read about the Dorne plot, and the way the show butchered it had me pretty pissed when I found out.

>>55382843
The culmination of his arc is when Cersei sends him to take Riverlands, but he gave an oath to never fight against Starks and Tulies again. After making peace with minor lords, he takes the castle without a single drop of blood split.

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>>55382785
Instead of taking the character down his amazing story path from the books where he discovers the man he could be without Cersei they just decide to do whatever with him from the fourth season and onwards, constantly backpeddaling on his character-development from earlier seasons because they can't have him breaking away from Cersei "too early".
Hell, even when they gave him a near perfect set-up at the end of season six (in the form of Cersei going full Aerys) to put Jaime back on his trajectory away from Cersei they just flat out ignore it for an entire season.

>>55382857
Idealistic is not ideal. It is the opposite of cynical

>>55382857
>he never was.
Yeah he was, before joining the Kingsguard.

>>55382862
He should have ditched her the moment she blew up Vatican. Instead, he shrugs it off.

>>55380866
I know who you are. Why don't you say something to me instead of acting like a passive aggressive bitch?

>>55382869
How is Bronn in the books by the way?

>>55382873
he stopped being idealistic the day he was inducted into the kingsguard.

>>55382902
He is left behind by tyrion
He marries lollys and takes over her castle, and spites cersei by naming her bastard tyrion

>>55382902
Hardly present after Tyrion leaves, but he has a great subplot in the background where he marries a retarded noble chick, provokes Cersei by naming the retard's bastard rape-child "Tyrion", then becomes Lord of the household by killing off the family in duels and such.

Jaime's vision was kino.

"We all dream of things we cannot have. Tywin dreamed that his soon would be a great knight, that his daughter would be a queen. He dreamed they would be so strong and brave and beautiful that no one would ever laugh at them.

"I am a knight," he told her, "and Cersei is a queen."

A tear rolled down her cheek. THe woman raised her hood again and turned her back on him. Jame called after her, but already she was moving away, her skirt whispering lullabies as it burshed across the floor. Don't leave me, he wanted to call, but of course she'd left them long ago.

He woke in the darkness, shivering.

>>55382926
I would cry too, if my children turned out like that

>>55382902
Not too dissimilar personality wise

He never has much interaction with jamie though. Ilyn payne (the mute royal executioner) is jamie's post disarmment sidekick in the books.

Bronn got his knighthood after blackwater and marries a rich retarded (literally) pregnant chick during tyrions trial.

Then he names the bastard child of his wife tyrion to fuck with everyone and when cersei sets bronns brand new inlaws on him in retaliation, bronn kills one and takes over the whole household becoming the lord of a rather old and prestigious noble house like he always wanted.

Tl.dr. he hasn't had a major part since tyrions exile but so far it seems like a happy ending for

>>55382637
The show ruined his character? Bullshit. More like rescued it from the ineptitude of the Mountain that Does Not Write.

>>55383116
Actually Jaime's character by the end of ADWD is pretty firmly in the redeemed hero side.

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>>55383116
>The Mountain that Does Not Write.
I don't agree with you but I think this is great.

>>55382857
That was specifically the moment where his idealism started to falter, though. Before that he was almost a boy version of Sansa in how much he idealized the Kingsguard. And in fairness, they did also do other and better things, like taking out the Kingswood Brotherhood.

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>>55380728
The last scene we had of him was the only redeemable part of this shit season

>>55381181
How does that even work?

>>55383179
For me it was the opposite, I really wanted Theon to overcome his condition by himself, and not because Jon gives him that Naruto speech.

>>55383248
Oh don't get me wrong, that scene was dogshit
I meant the scene at the beach. That was actually great. What lead up to it sucked.

>>55380728
>>55380874
Theon Did Nothing Wrong.

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>>55383294
he didn't give his uncle a kiss even if he isn't the anime villain he is in the books I still think show!euron was one of the few redeemable qualities of this season, he's like if victarion had any charisma or self awareness whatsoever

>>55383346
Yeah, Show Euron is great. Better than book Euron, even. I really like how he's more Jack Sparrow than he is Blackbeard.

>>55383362
book euron is anime character.

>>55380866
Why not passion fingers because he fucks everything he touches?

>>55383286
>I meant the scene at the beach. That was actually great.
Seriously? He gets kneed in the groin three fucking times, but Captain Dickless is immune to such attacks now! Look how being tortured for three years straight has finally payed off!
I don't think D&D could've written that scene worse if they tried.

>>55383179
>tfw true understanders were too late to save stannis

>>55383362
Show Euron was one of the better things about this season, but that hardly makes him good.

>>55380959

Weirdly, book Euron is way cooler.

Like, he actually breaks out a suit of Sauron-armor, which is enough to make anyone go "Ohhhhhh fuck, that's a bad sign."

>>55383346
>>55383362
>>55383434

Show Euron is also an anime character.

*teleports fleet behind you*
*burns your sails*

"Time to MURDER my niece and nephew, kid!"

>>55383486
Littlefinger has been teleporting around since season 1, about time he shared his teleportation technology with the rest of the world.

>>55383486
thats just Dabid in action. He doesn't have a 2deep4u plan or anything. He just wants to be pirate king and put his finger in cersei's bum

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>>55383486
>kill off your useless old brother after he attacked you on a midnight mid-storm stroll
>be democratically elected as ruler of the Iron Islands in the most ancient and holy of ironborn traditions, on the bones of Nagga's Hill
>hunt down your niece and nephew, both usurpers, traitors to the crown and traitors to the seastone chair
>destroy a fleet of traitors
>bring a group of child murderers who sent Dorne into chaos to justice
>end up hiring the most reputable mercenary company in all of Planetos, and winning the queen's hand in marriage
remind me why he's supposed to be the bad guy again

>>55383542
Because Asha (sorry, Yara) is a strong empowered womyn who should be king of the vikings etcetera etcetera

>>55383563
ironborn don't even have much in common with vikings besides superficial similarities, they always seemed more like 16th century irish pirates and border reivers to me

>>55383563
>kinslayer
>killed priest of the drowned god.

>>55383595
Balon drew his blade first, and he never laid so much as a finger on Aeron in the show but, considering the TWOW chapters, he's probably had a few inside him

>>55383248

>naruto speech

I lost it there.

>>55383635
http://youtubedoubler.com/lRKV

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>>55383635
THEUN! YA NEVER LOST IM. IDS NOT ME PLACE TA FERGIV YER FALLUVID. YER A GREYJOI... ANNA STAHK.

>Have you ever made a character who just fucked up everything?
Is there any other kind?

>>55383635
Naruto, from the anime and manga Naruto, frequently influences his friends and enemies with the same kind of ridiculous motivational speeches that Jon gives here. Mostly it is just spouting extremely trivial stuff that is presented as some kind of revelation.

>>55383713
Can't wait for that dual Faction Stark/Greyjoy "Punished Theon" card

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>Starts a continent wide civil war

>>55384009
The war was going to happen regardless even old king Robert knew it was coming.

Theon just fucked any chance of the Starrks coming out of it even relatively intact

>>55380728
Why would I play myself?

>>55384031
CAREFUL /tv/
CAREFUL

>>55382899
>Being this insecure

>>55384040
Yeah yeah I crossed my wires a bit fuck off, my real shame is not realising anon posted a boar and wasn't referring to Theon.

>>55383248
Theon is the worst. His hero moment was literally that he doesn't have a dick and is immune to nut shots

>>55384093
Which doesn't even make any sense to begin with. Nut shots should at best hurt him just as bad as anyone else, and at worst fuck him up even more.

>>55384119
Especially considering how large the guy he was fighting was.

>>55384093
>>55384119
>>55384145
He lost his dick and his balls right? If it healed mostly it probably wouldn't hurt as bad.

>>55381702
>setting's existing faux-Elric of Melnibone and faux-Conan in the history

Who are they supposed to be in the setting now?

>>55384093
A character doesn't necessarily need to have a heroic moment in order to be interesting. Theon has problems, and screw ups, and inner conflicts. He wants to do the right thing, but can't bring himself to do it, or it somehow isn't possible.

This is infinitely more interesting than someone like Daenerys. When Daenerys wants to do something, or is in a difficult situation, it always gets solved through "lol magic", she doesn't really overcome any challenges, neither external nor internal.

Same goes for Jon, who was oh so principled The Watch is life, and then uses a magic loophole to quit it, no fucks given about duty, and oaths and whatever.

>>55383587
They are more like sea Spartans.

>>55384285
It's not that it doesn't make sense. It's just the lamest shit ever. It wasn't that he finally ditched the last of reek, it was literally "I HAVE NO DICK"

>>55384334
Daenerys is the most infuriating character in the show. It's bad already in the book, but both her and Geoffrey seem so much worse in the show.

Geoffrey is sickeningly tryhard, and he comes from being mildly disgusted by what he does to having a boner for pain. By the beginning of season 2 he's already the cruelest shitter in the realm.

However, Daenerys has a rather bad start, then get everything handed to her even if she can't take a right decision ever. After Qarth, she doesn't even have to deal with the consequences of her stupid actions much. It's awful. It's even worse that she is basically on her own arc rather than in westeros, and thus can't interact with anybody for the majority of the show.

>>55384439
Joffy was a good villain. You loved to hate him.
Dany is a mary sue.

>>55380728
So a bard?

>>55380728
I've just made two races of catfolk in setting threads who fucked up some anon's mood, but no, I haven't made characters who fucked up the game.

>>55384580
>Joffy was a good villain
Yep. However he was a better villain in the show than in the book imo. I think the show give him justice.

>came into the thread expecting stories
>it's just discussions about ASOIAF
fml

>>55384286
Elric could be literally any of the Valyrians.

>>55384334
To be far to Jon he actually died and was resurrected.

>>55384883
How is that any better?

>>55384883
Reminds me how bad the whole build up to his ressurection was.
"Hey guys. Davos here. I've only been here for a short while now, and I hardly know this kid, but what do you say to just locking us all up in a room to protect his corpse? Oh, and when we've risked our life for a few days to make sure his corpse won't be harmed, I'll go ask this bitch I hate to help him with her weird magic; even though I distrust it more than anything and have no reason to do so."

People can bash season 7 and 5 all they want, but neither of them had even close to the level of complete bullshit that made up season 6.

>>55384619
the show showed him most of the time. in the books we see him from tyrion's perspective who thinks of him as a shitty brat, and sansa who badly of him.

>>55384660
OP fell victim to one of the classic blunders.

>>55384883
As I said, he got presented with a magic loophole, which allowed him to forsake his oaths and go do whatever he wants to. He doesn't have to make any hard decisions or search for some other way.

This also contradicts that whole business with his friends convincing him not to leave The Watch, his conversation with Maester Aemon, who aslo had to make a choice like this, and in the end did not break his oath.

>>55385098
So it seems

>>55385131
One other thing I forgot, that everyone also either seems to believe in that not-so-easy-to-believe resurrection story, or gives absolutely zero fucks about it. Traitor to The Watch, that is supposed be considered a huge offence and Ned Stark (whom Jon idolises, and they are both so principled and whatnot) used to personally chop off heads of such people. Now they make him king of the North and it is okay with everyone.

>>55385242
Don't put too much thought into it. We're literally watching fanfiction.

>>55384975
If you look at the writing of the show, as soon as it gets past book content it gets much weaker. The show writers aren't nearly on the level of GRRM

>>55385242
How was he a traitor to the watch again?

>>55386138
he wasn't according to the spirit of the law
He was according to bowen marsh and his lads.

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>>55380728
Literally fucked it up.

>>55386138
Because he deserted from the Night's Watch.
>But he died, which technically...
First of all, "For this night and all the nights to come". Second of all, Jon getting off on a technicality requires other people
>To know that he died
>To believe that he died
Jon doesn't tell anyone this hugely important fact, probably because showrunners are hacks and they try to downplay the fact that he fucking died and was resurrected as much as possible, purely because they would be forced to deal with implications of such a thing.
It's not like Jon's death was even necessary for the show either. He didn't change in any way. He could as well be stabbed half to death like Arya, get treated and then leave the Night's Watch because they tried to murder him. Same thing, really.

>>55383143
No.

>Fucks the king's wife-treason
>Fucks his sister-incest
>Slays his king-oathbreaker
>Attempt to murder a noble child to cover up some of your sins/crimes-murderer/child killer
>Orders your men to attack the hand of the king in the street-treason

There is nothing to Jaime to redeem. He's so far past the point of redemption, he's gone.

>>55386767
Redemption is subjective. Who judges, if a man redeemed himself? People? Gods? You, the reader?

>>55380728
>>55380874
>What is dead may never die
>But rises again harder and stronger

Just watch /tg/uys as Theon's journey and conflicts will make him a true Ironborn and hero.

>>55380728
I made a flamboyant evil communist fedora tipping half-elf bard.

>>55386845
>watch
No thanks, I'd rather read.

>>55380728
Gnome nationalist wizard in a steampunk/arcanum facsimile setting.
He wanted to restore the gnome nation to its former glory and to cut its ties with the mildly corrupted and inefficient central government.

He inadvertently dropped a fantasy/steampunk nuke on the gnomish capital, killing millions; helped destroy the only source of magic left in the setting, losing its power; helped a communist madman to create a zerg-like socialist bio-dystopia; led what was left of his people in the hand of intergalactic psionic slavers. Oh, he also raised the daughter of his best friend after he let him die just to find out that she was some kind of anti-christ equivalent.

And he was the most competent member of the party! Poor Dasho Buttlazo, he just wanted to be the comic relief.

>>55386674
Makes me wonder if he will relinquish his rights to the throne because Aegon Targaryen, you know, died. Seems like the most redeeming thing they could do, even though it makes all this crazy backstory kind of pointless.

>>55386845
>What is dead may never die
>But rises again harder and stronger
>implying Theon's gonna be rising hard and strong any time soon
What is cut off will die, apparently.

>>55387146
On the contrary. The secret prince, prophesies hero NOT taking the throne and instead letting someone better fit for it take it... It would be cool.

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>>55380728
uhh lemme see.

>die
>die again
>make a stupid deal with a devil
>die again
>oh shit i have two pulses now
>get hungry
>kill two civilians for their souls
>lose face to whole party
>try to get out of the deal by fulfilling my part as fast as possible
>fuck it up completely and lose your soul because i didnt read between the lines
>become a devil
>make "a suicide by cop" move and attack my party leader
>he oneshots you but cant finish you off so he buries you under a 3000lbs rock
>party summons a legendary wilder to make him a vegetable
>tfw that wilder became my PC afterwards but i managed to fuck him up too, he lost all his powers and took four permanent negative levels

I love roleplaying

>>55381953
Worf can't ever be competent. He's literally a punching bag designed to show off how tough someone else is.

our party has the tendency to plan shit for hours but when we start an operation, it goes as planned until the climax where everything goes to shit

>>55386767
I am saying that he is redeemed in his eyes at the end of ADWD. He still has committed crimes, but the Jaime that did them is gone. He died when the qohorik cut off his sword arm.

>>55382487
To be fair, the only reason Robert didn't discipline him and structure his upbringing a bit more was that when Joffrey was a child and did hit cut open the pregnant cat thing, Robert slapped him, and Cersei told him if he did that again she would knife him while he slept.

>>55387306
>What is cut off will die, apparently.
Just cause it was cut off doesn't mean it ain't still alive somewhere. If they don't show the body(part) its still alive anon.

>>55388757
Theon will get to the cockmerchant and get a volcano dick

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>>55380728
Honestly yes. Pic related.
He fucked up SO MUCH that I had originally been planning that the adoptive daughter of the final boss was his biological kid, but then I had to retcon that because it would mean that his literal dicking around was responsible for roughly a third of the setting's problems.

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>I want to talk about my favorite shitty fantasy soap opera on /tg/ but it's off topic.
>I know, I'll post some shitty throw away question that implies that the character in the image I posted fucked up, causing people to ignore said question and post about who shot fantasy J. R.

>>55388967
>>55384660
OP truly is a character who fucked up creating this thread, isn't he?

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Can Valyrian Steel be pierced/crushed by a dragon? If I remember well, the Targaryens were a bunch of poorfags and could never own one or much valyrian stuff.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxQYLWljCvI

>>55389056
>Euron
Gods, what a stupid name.

>>55388967
>asoiaf
>off topic
Umm no try again sweetie

>>55381953
Exactly like that, come to think of it.
>>55381963
Jon will end up saving the world but Euron and Aegon are more of those Tolkien deconstructions that Gurm keeps talking about; Aegon is about why a king raised in secret for the sole purpose of ruling (as Aragorn was) really wouldn't be that great a king because he basically got educated but was given no real world experience.
Of course Aragorn was also sixty when he became king and had PLENTY of time to learn how the world worked so the analogy falls flat, but there you go.

Also, Jon was never made a Ranger.
He was a Steward.
>>55382029
They're Orcs as much as Aegon is Aragorn as much as Euron is Sauron and as much as Brynden Rivers is Elric of Melnibone; they're a reference, not LITERALLY orcs you dingus.
The Ironborn are showing just how stupid and self-destructive a culture that seemingly exists only to raid and pillage and sides over and over again with raid and pillage leaders who get them killed en-masse would really be, but also to show how they are still in fact people and you can't just commit genocide on them for being stupid because EVERYONE is guilty of that particular failing.

Also, while Euron certainly has a bit more depth then Sauron, he has recently been revealed to be a sibling and parent-killing rapist slaver murderer who raped his younger brothers when they were kids and who impregnated a girl he seduced specifically just so he could kill her.
So yeah, Euron is not really a "redeeming" character considering he's the craziest motherfucker in the books by a wide margin so far.
And Victarion is a goddamn idiot.

>le sweetie posting
guess you really wanted to drive home that your posts aren't worth reading

>>55382229
Yes, exactly.
Ironically because his internal narration wasn't ME THOG SMASH people thought he wasn't as dumb as he seemed, even though dumb people can still form complete sentences.
I mean when Asha approached him to politically ally against Euron rather then let that psycho rule the Ironborn, Victarion thought she was propositioning him sexually because he was literally too stupid to understand what she meant.

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>>55382591
It's not "stealing" it, it's referencing it.
It all probably seemed pretty clever back when Gurm wrote this out in 1998, it's not his fault movies came out and everyone got real familiar.

I mean THIS is Euron's personal coat of arms, how much more fucking obvious does it need to be anymore?

>>55386870
See you in 2025, then.

>>55386767
>fucks the woman he loves, in face of her spiteful, sad marriage
>saves a million people by killing a mad man
>child murder is a valid point, they shouldn't have sex in a random tower ruin
>takes the hand of the king prisoner for treasonous activity, didn't want his ment to hurt him and punishes the one who stabbed him

He's not a saint but he's far from iredeemable.

>>55384286
Brynden Rivers, "the Bloodraven", who was an albino bastard Targaryen who used sorcerery and black magic and arguably evil methods to be a hero (Elric) and is currently the Three-Eyed Crow.
Aegor Rivers, "Bittersteel" is a muscular angry black-haired blue-eyed bronze-skinned burly guy with a square-cut mane who more or less tried to kill his way to the Iron Throne by proxy of his brother Daemon Blackfyre. Gurm once said that Bittersteel is a Conan patische, though he seems a lot less obvious and far less complex then Conan was, I imagine because he likes Conan less then Elric.

Oh, and Aegon VI is probably Bittersteel's great-great grandson.

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Well, it's not like Evil One-Eyes are unique or original to Tolkien. In fact, the whole Eye thing is not that prominent in the books and it is only shown again and again in the movies.

>>55389045
I think it's unbreakable, and I believe that the Targs had little of it because it's not easy to make.
Gurm has explicitly said that the shit is magic and requires magic to create, so I'm guessing full suits of Valyrian steel were always pretty damn rare.

That said, you don't need to crush the armor; you can crush the guy inside of ur just by hitting it. Just because the armor doesn't break it doesn't mean he doesn't feel the impact force, and I bet you that Valyrian steel isn't heat-proof either.

>>55389357
Jaime is wonderfully flawed, because you can see which parts of his horrible life decisions are his fault and which of them are just products of the complete hyporicisy of the system you supposedly are honorable if you swear to uphold.
>>55389401
No, but GRRM is literate and familiar with the books and has put several other references to fantasy or other works in his novels so far so it fits his pattern.
Like the Green Lantern reference, hah.

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>>55389414

He's more likely to die by drowning. I mean come on.Victarion being fearless of drowning could foreshadow Euron's eventual fate.

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>>55385371
No. Beniov is a fucking phenomenal author; his novel is great.

The REAL problem, the one that we keep ignoring in this tread for some stupid reason, is that GoT could never maintain it's original momentum, and GRRM's own inability to write another book without falling into the tropes he claims to despise is, if not proof, at least indicative of this.

His sequels, overall, just aren't as good as that initial book, overall.

>>55389461
That would be delightfully ironic.
I kinda hope Victarion is SO stupid that Dany convinces him to switch sides and him and Asha basically become "good guy orcs" for the Ironborn.
Though with Vick he might be more of a liability then anything else.

Euron is the champion of darkness.
Victarion is the champion of light.

>>55389493
>and GRRM's own inability to write another book without falling into the tropes he claims to despise is, if not proof, at least indicative of this.
Not to argue with you, but he never really said he despises them.
That's just 4chan and the internet taking a single phrase and memeing it and going 100% of the way with it rather then reach a logical middle ground.

I think he was just writing a sort of deconstruction of various fantasy stories, that's all.
Now, it's definitely true that he's writing these deconstruction YEARS after everyone playing D&D deconstructed it in their heads and personal games for decades, but unfortunately for him he wrote the first three novels in the mid-90's and early 00's and they only really got popular decades after so his slow as fuck writing pace has led truly literate folks to see that this is old hat stuff we've all seen before.

Ironically for TV show folks who don't read shit at all this all must seem terribly new and exciting, but that's how popularity works I guess.

>>55380728
Yup, not on purpose but sometimes you gotta role with that shit. He ended up being one of my favorite characters I've played. He tried SO fucking hard to be the hardest motherfucker in the lands, but he just didn't understand what that ment. He thought just keeping a brave face was all it took, but failure after failure (due to really shitty dice) forced him to revalue how he saw himself. He ended up sacrificing himself for the party once it become super apparent that the BBEG was warming up for a TPK.

It's funny to know that, when this was meant ot be just three books (time jump included), he originally meant for Arya to be the John's and Tyron's love interest, much to her horror. Also Jaime was going to sit on the Iron Throne in the main antagonistic role.

>>55389713
Tyrion was also hinted at being a damn acrobat

>>55389362
>>55384664
>>55389187
Let's be real, there is alot of Elric and Moorcock wanking on GRRM's part. Which is fine by me because i LOVE the Eternal Champion mythos.

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>>55389582
You. You think before you post. I like you.

Every time I make a dex/speed-based character. I made a really nimble theif-specced Assamite in VtM, gave him Catspaw because screw it, I don't care what people think of me.
His introductory scene (since I was entering an already existing game) was him attempting to jump over a park fence - you know the kind that have the spikes in top - into the area where the rest of the party was fighting off some werewolves, and just about making it over, but got his foot caught on the spike, making for an embarrassing entrance. The rest of his career as a vampire was pretty similar, until we got into a war with the local Sabbat, and he ended up diablerizing about 4 of them, at which point my luck in rolling changed and he turned into a badass.

>>55389834
Yeah, the Valyrian Freehold really strongly smacks of Melnibone with bits of Rome tossed in here and there.
I think that sort of supports my theory that Valyrians are human but not "homo sapien sapiens" human, like some kind of other race of men just as Melniboneans were said to LOOK human but not really be the same species.
>>55390376
I always do.
It's a fucking lost trait around here these days, but I suppose one of the appeals of being on 4chan is saying stupid shit with zero consequences to yourself.

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He dreamt an old dream, of three knights in white cloaks, and a tower long fallen, and Lyanna in her bed of blood.
In the dream his friends rode with him, as they had in life. Proud Martyn Cassel, Jory's father; faithful Theo Wull; Ethan Glover, who had been Brandon's squire; Ser Mark Ryswell, soft of speech and gentle of heart; the crannogman, Howland Reed; Lord Dustin on his great red stallion. Ned had known their faces as well as he knew his own once, but the years leech at a man's memories, even those he has vowed never to forget. In the dream they were only shadows, grey wraiths on horses made of mist.
They were seven, facing three. In the dream as it had been in life. Yet these were no ordinary three. They waited before the round tower, the red mountains of Dorne at their backs, their white cloaks blowing in the wind. And these were no shadows; their faces burned clear, even now. Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning, had a sad smile on his lips. The hilt of the greatsword Dawn poked up over his right shoulder. Ser Oswell Whent was on one knee, sharpening his blade with a whetstone. Across his white-enameled helm, the black bat of his House spread its wings. Between them stood fierce old Ser Gerold Hightower, the White Bull, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
"I looked for you on the Trident," Ned said to them.
"We were not there," Ser Gerold answered.
"Woe to the Usurper if we had been," said Ser Oswell.
"When King's Landing fell, Ser Jaime slew your king with a golden sword, and I wondered where you were."
"Far away," Ser Gerold said, "or Aerys would yet sit the Iron Throne, and our false brother would burn in seven hells."
"I came down on Storm's End to lift the siege," Ned told them, "and the Lords Tyrell and Redwyne dipped their banners, and all their knights bent the knee to pledge us fealty. I was certain you would be among them."
"Our knees do not bend easily," said Ser Arthur Dayne.

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"Ser Willem Darry is fled to Dragonstone, with your queen and Prince Viserys. I thought you might have sailed with him."
"Ser Willem is a good man and true," said Ser Oswell.
"But not of the Kingsguard," Ser Gerold pointed out. "The Kingsguard does not flee."
"Then or now," said Ser Arthur. He donned his helm.
"We swore a vow," explained old Ser Gerold.
Ned's wraiths moved up beside him, with shadow swords in hand. They were seven against three.
"And now it begins," said Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning. He unsheathed Dawn and held it with both hands. The blade was pale as milkglass, alive with light.
"No," Ned said with sadness in his voice. "Now it ends." As they came together in a rush of steel and shadow, he could hear Lyanna screaming. "Eddard!" she called. A storm of rose petals blew across a blood-streaked sky, as blue as the eyes of death.
"Lord Eddard," Lyanna called again.
"I promise," he whispered. "Lya, I promise . . . "

>>55389187
>deconstructions
when will authors learn that this kind of shit doesn't work?

>>55390427
>I think that sort of supports my theory that Valyrians are human but not "homo sapien sapiens" human, like some kind of other race of men just as Melniboneans were said to LOOK human but not really be the same species.
So in other words, Atlanteans with a bit of the fae kind thrown in. That was always the case.

>>55390779
It both does and doesn't work.
It's called "subjectivity"; you may not like it, but your opinion is subjective and really doesn't matter at all. Nor does anyone else's opinion matter on the matter, regardless of how popular an opinion it is.
This is something most rational folks acknowledge and learn to live with and the kind of irrational fans whom everyone hates and are subjects of negative stereotypes that are over thirty years old do not learn to live with, so I hope you'll get there eventually.
>>55390893
Pretty much.
Though Atlanteans were human still.

>>55390974
Fuck you too.

>>55380728
For years I have been forming the idea of a story about an entire cast of fuckups, I know How I want it to begin and end and most of the events in between but I keep getting stuck on the minutia.

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>>55382029
>Ironbabbies

>>55380728

Its all a lead up to the big reveal of Theon Greyjoy being Azor Ahai.

Screencap this as proof.

>>55391587
proof? fuck off

>>55391662
>>55391662

He fits all the criteria in the prophecy better than anyone else.

>>55392017
every other character fits. because there is no azor ahai or gurm hasn't decided on who yet

>>55380728
Theon did nothing wrong.

>>55389582
''

Ironically for TV show folks who don't read shit at all this all must seem terribly new and exciting, but that's how popularity works I guess.''

This especially, look at harry potter, its not bad but in the grand scheme of things it got lucky, better fantasy exists but it felt fresh at the time.

>>55382617
I mean, Jon lost. Several times. Daenerys is extremely annoying in that her mistakes rarely come back to bite her in the ass in any meaningful way.
Her losing a dragon is the first time we see something like that.

>>55382114
Aeron is a fucking orcish shaman

>>55386674
The important part in the oath imo is "I pledge my life". He gave his life. Lo and behold, lucky bastard was given another. I say he did his duty, let him do whatever the duck he wants.

>>55383346
Victarion is great precisely because he has zero self-awareness and hasn't noticed that he's a Power Metal album cover yet.

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>>55384009
Don't be such a baby, if I could start a civil war tomorrow, I would.

>game of reddit
lol

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I play a soldier who went into exile (somewhat voluntarily) after her company (and her hometown) was wiped out in a diversionary assault against some orcs. A mix of shame, uncertainty, and betrayal made her and a fiend become swords for hire.

First game we're sent into an old temple. After fucking up an acrobatics check and almost getting killed by a statue and flame traps, we give our contractor an orb we found in the temple.

He doesn't pay us.

We go to hunt him down and find him using the orb for a necromancy ritual. Before he can kill his sacrifice, I fire two arrows, crit, and kill him in one attack. He drops the orb and falls to the ground.

Inside the ritual circle.

And that kids, is how I accidentally unleashed a God of death into the world. What followed was some cultist shenanigans, some conspiracies with the local empress, and a hunt for her (seven) phylacteries.

In a great move by my DM to tie my character backstory to the game, one of the phylacteries just so happens to be at my character's destroyed hometown.

Yeah my character is the fuck up but it's been a really good time playing up the guilt my character feels and how it ties into her personal philosophies

>>55381963
Jon isn't a ranger, though. He's a steward.

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>>55380874
> see how much he needs to punish him before the reader is forced to feel pity.

Seeing how much Catlyn is punished in the books, I think we've got a long way to go.

>>55380728
I did.
Until he stopped trying to be good and embraced his evil potential.
Then everything, luck, the dice, the plot, all started coming up his way

>>55396353
We see theon broken from his eyes
the reader never sees LSH

>>55380728
I can't seem to get past the wizard at the inn in the next town 10 minutes into Baulder's Gate.

So yes.

>>55387416
Read pulses as pussies.

>>55387642
>but the Jaime that did them is gone. He died when the qohorik cut off his sword arm.
>Still fucking his sister
>Old Jamie gone

No.

>>55396955
He fucks her a grand total of once after losing his hand, and that's right next to Joffrey's corpse of all places. Later on when she comes on to him at the White Tower he rejects her advances.

>>55384975
No. Season 7 remains just as fucking stupid. The amount of time it takes people and information to go from point a to point b actually used to be a rather important thing. By S7 they've completely thrown any pretense of time scaling out the window and when people called them on their shit they just shrugged. Truthfully, after S5 when they knew they had a giga-hit on their hands they stopped giving a shit and it shows. Fuck, it shows. Every aspect of the show has declined sharply in quality because they know they can skate by on pure hype and cultural inertia.

>>55380728
>Have you ever made a character who just fucked up everything?
Shit man, that's my entire party.

>>55380728
> 7th Sea. Pre-revolutionary Montaine.
> Play explorers, don't give a fuck about politics.
> Character is a noble, has big and friendly family, pretty satisfied with life.
> Somehow party gets into politics. Hate the king, but think that bolshevik-style revolution or return to inquisition hunting Porte mages (yeah, it's disgusting and reality-ripping sorcery, but that isn't a reason to burn my uncle at a stake - he's a nice guy)
> Convince "good guy revolutionaries" to clash with peasants led by priests revolutionaries
> As a result, both parties are weakened and wiped out by king Leon Alexander's forces.
> At least family is safe
GM is butthurt as my character had pretty just and non-villainous reasons to do things that fucked up the "good guys" (he explicitly agreed to that himself) .
> Family first, bitches!

>>55382869
He still has one of the best arcs in the show, despite the short comings of it, though brushing off her blowing the fuck out of the Vatican In the latest season was dumb as shit.
Though that probably says more about the shitiness of the other characters.
Theon and Jaime are the only interesting ones left. And the Hound, despite being a walking meme.
I loved Euron in the books but he's just growing into a generic edgy villain in the show.
Davos really has no further part of the story than just being a minor side character.

>>55396955
>>55397063
Not to mention that in the books, that incident is almost immidiately after he returns to King's Landing, and it was pretty much the first moment they had to themselves. He'd been held captive for months, been tortured and dismembered (in the process losing the thing that gave his life meaning, his sword skill), he'd fought a bear, and when he gets home he's told his son was murdered just before he got there. The guy was in shambles and desperately needed the intimacy then and there.

Of course, in the show he'd been back in King's Landing for a while and had time to recover and see Cersei, so fucking right next to Joffrey's corpse just seems jarring and horrible in comparison.

>>55382920
Didn't he become the head after Lolly's sister "fell" down some stairs?

>>55400467
the mum fell down the stairs.
Lolly's bro in law tried to duel with bronn and brutally died.
Lolly's sis got harvested for components.

>>55382336
At least Joffrey wasn't as much of a pointless fuckup
>Say I am going to get my father to help my adoptive family
>Father wants me to attack my adoptive family, I will backstab them so hard
>Capture their undefended castle, execute a nobleman and two peasant children before being defeated and taken prisoner
>Be castrated
>Eventually join my lesbian sister in trying to see my house driven to extinction by fighting the only men in my house capable of continuing its legacy
>Oh no my actually competent uncle has captured my sister, better jump overboard
>Later I beat up a guy because I have no balls and he keeps kicking me in the crotch
Joffrey was cruel but at least he did more than kill two peasants and execute a nobleman before being captured and castrated.

>>55380959
>post-rape, pregnant Yara
Book-Euron has Yara (Asha) married to an 80yo-ish lord to secure his loyalty and to bring Yara's (Asha's) holdings under his ally's control.

>>55400600
>he did more
what did he do except act like an edgy little brat?

>>55400744
Also [Asha] is taken captive by Stannis and is still sitting somewhere near Winterfell,
waiting with Theon.

I'm pretty sure that the other anon is thinking of the random Lord's (I think Sutherland, but I'm not sure) bastard daughter that Euron kept around for a while.
As of the end of Aeron's teaser chapter she is pregnant, has had her tits cut off and is tied to the mast of Euron's flagship.

>>55400859
I don't remember the tits being cut off,
only the tongue

>>55382916
>spites cersei by naming her bastard tyrion
>>55382920
>provokes Cersei by naming the retard's bastard rape-child "Tyrion"
>>55382960
>names the bastard child of his wife tyrion to fuck with everyone
My recollection was that Cersei didn't get the insult and thought it was hilarious because Tyrion's name was being used on a baby that was a gang-rape-baby and a bastard.

Tyrion Tanner because the rape was behind a tannery, wasn't it?

I always felt like Bronn did it because a) he liked Tyrion and b) Tyrion liked underdogs and the shunned which the kid is likely to be.

Of course, being Bronn's step-son, he's probably going to grow up into an unscrupulous killer who dies rich.

>>55400892
I mixed that up with some other broad.
Oh well.

>>55400600
Also, can you imagine what would have happened to the Sparrows if Joff had still been king?

>>55400950
no, ecause lollys is nobleborn it will have waters as the bastard name.

>>55382857
He was you dumbass. It's outright stated for your dumb pea sized brain but you still managed to miss it. He was idealistic and he wanted to be a great and noble knight like Arthur Dayne. But his experience as a Kingsguard soured him and crushed his idealism.

>>55383438
> getting a participation reward affected him
>>55380866
>>55382899
> comedy
>>55384055
> not realizing a kek was made

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>>55389525
As unlikely as it is, Azor Victarion is one of my pet theories for it's sheer hilarity and the fact that Vic manages to be surprisingly compelling for a complete dullard.

>>55401951
vic is so retarded that he becomes harmless. The entire scene with piggus and monkeys is adorable.

>>55401971
>tfw you will never sail across the Dothraki Sea and pillage with your idiot bro tier captain in a quest for loot and dragons

>>55400744

I mean for the show. They will replicate the same scene but with Yara and Theon to make it more shocking.

>>55397504
Davos probably has a role similar to Bronn's in the book. If and/or when Stannis gets shrekked, Davos will probably fade into the backround, or die trying to get the queen and Selys away.

In the show he's a popular actor, so hey! He works for Jon now!

>>55384334
Everytime you resurrect it gets harder to care.

>>55397167
More than shrug. Their response was, "The show is still popular, so we don't need to worry about that."

>>55382617
The parallels between Cersei and Danerys in season six were infuriating, I started rooting for Cersei just because reality seemed to be against her

>>55389414
>I bet you that Valyrian steel isn't heat-proof either
Considering that Tywin melted down Ice we know it isn't.

>>55380728
Can't help but feel bad for that guy.

>lives life as a hostage for things his father did when he was a child
>hated by everyone around him except a few kids
>isn't welcomed or respected at home
>isn't welcomes or respected among his captors
>doesn't belong anywhere
>tries to earn his father's favor
>scorned and treated like shit
>conquers a capital city with few losses of life
>still treated like shit
>captured and tortured

>>55380728
not but you can always ask your mother how it's feel

>>55406022
That's a shame how that turned out.

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>>55380728
yes

>>55408620
>It's too big

>>55380993
So he's Thrall?

>>55409660
No, because Thrall proves to be respected and effective (until Cataclysm) leader. Theon is a fuckup.

>>55386767
What's it like being a real-life caricature of Lawful Neutral?

>>55393586
>Her losing a dragon is the first time we see something like that.
That wasn't due to her mistake as much as it was due to Jon being literally retarded and not just getting on the fucking dragon, though. They had ample time to skedaddle.

>>55393586
Her rule is being undermined in a pretty big way by the end of the books. I don't like her as a character, but I find the situation her city is in is finally interesting now that shit is hitting the fan. I hope she gets adventure chapters while the conflict gets totally resolved without her. I'll be annoyed if she returns and miraculously solves the problems. I'll be satisfied if she returns and it takes a while.

>>55380728
yes, his name was george Wang and he is partially responsible for a robot Jihad

>>55382393
DS9

>>55387675
Joffrey might have been a bad ass if Cersei didn't "protect" him from Robert. Robert would have put that killing instinct to good use.

>>55385131
Jon isn't the sort of man to take loopholes tho.
Their oaths say they are to father no sons and take no wives, however when he fucked Ygritte, he considered himself an oathbreaker even though that technically is not the case as Ygritte had given birth to no sons of his.

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>>55380728

>>55390759
A completely fucking pointless scene that means absolutely nothing.
Like pretty much anything else that was actually interesting in the series.

>>55384119
Then again, considering what he's been through I imagine a nut-shot or three is pretty tame.

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>>55390759
>>55390739

>>55405938
Mind you, that was a specialist smith who had the knowledge of how to work Valyrian steel.

Longclaw got left in the Lord Commander's tower when Jon burned it down by accident, to the point where the hilt was ruined, but the blade itself was fine.

>>55402162
>If and/or when Stannis gets shrekked, Davos will probably fade into the backround

I doubt that. He is a POV character with his name in the chapter. So far POV characters are only written out by dying, none of them just fade into the background.

>>55412719
That doesn't really mean much. A house fire doesn't burn anywhere as hot as a forge does.

>>55380728
>come to thread hoping for amusing stories
>it's a bunch of faggots talking about Game of Thrones
I want /tv/ shit to stay where it belongs.

>>55413871
Its your fault for being stupid then. This was obviously meant to be a Game of Thrones thread, and /tg/ is way better at talking about GoT then /tv/ is.

>>55380728
Kind of.
I made a dumb as bricks fighter who got separated from the rest of the party in a dungeon. The idea was that each of us would get a trial suited for someone else, and a ring we had picked up earlier would let us switch places.
One of my party tricks was stacking a few forms of enlargement (Not exactly by-rules, probably should have only been able to get to Huge, but we were having fun with it) to shoot up to Gargantuan, and just rampage around for a while.
So, not realizing the far off-place I was transported to was just a different area of the same Castle/Fortress, and not stopping to think of alternatives, I popped my size-ups and broke everything.
The ensuing collapse killed the rest of my party, the villains of the arc, destroyed the Macguffin we needed to get so the local god didn't forsake the kingdom, and ended the game that night.
We restarted next session from a "party survived, villains dead, but kingdom doomed" outcome. I became known as the guy who destroyed the kingdom and had my sources of enlargement confiscated. I did actually get to supersize a few more times, but only under supervision.

tiefling sent to a demonic plane as a rite of passage, while there he made a pact by another tiefling trapped there.

expended a lot of effort to try to device a way to get the other tiefling out of there. it ended with him; almost sacrificing an innocent in a bargain, indirectly getting a friend(PC) killed, releasing a rape incubus and pretty much destroying the dynamic in the party he was in, after which he pretty much went "na, im out, cya suckers" and left to settle down with the other tiefling to open a tavern and start a family


most fun character i've played.

>>55413820
Still usually burns hot enough to warp normal steel.

>>55411023
To be fair, she just showed up with three dragons. He had to prove that he was a badass too, couldn't let her steal the entire scene.

>>55412170
Pointless? It foreshadow's Jon being a Targaryen, and that's just for starters.

>>55382843
Personally I kinda think the show does Jaime's arc better by drawing out his subservience to Cersei. It took an actual climactic confrontation to divorce the two, as opposed to the books where they just drift apart.

>>55412642
Thats rad