D&D best moments thread

Bump because nobody seems to care

>le nat20 whoa break the laws of reality and any immersion for epic 5% chance XD

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>>55373274
Fuck off Troll
I'll contribute;
>Group is imprisoned by Guard Captain that forces us to do tasks he doesn't want to waste his men's lives on
>Smuggle explosive rune components in over the course of a couple weeks in-game
>Tattoo it to Bard's ass
>Convince sadistic dungeon guard to rape him
>KABOOM
>Steal keys and fight our way out
>Run into Guard Captain some time later, we've all leveled up a bit
>We have a pretty good reputation now, lot has happened so there's no beef
>Says he has one question
"What in God's name did you do to leave my dungeon keeper with his pelvis bare and charred?"

>>55374064
>fuck off troll
OP's story is a shining example of lolsorandumb. From being CN and summoning a succubus, a demon from the abyss that would love to wreak havoc on the woefully unprepared people in town for the 'lulz', to a nat20 somehow being enough to cause a demon to fall in love with a mortal. A demon who's job is to literally fuck things all day and night and is more than likely to be completely desensitized to romantic emotions, let alone actually marrying the mortal and not just pretending to love him for a free permanent stay in the material plane. The bard actually just fucking a demon who's able to steal your soul through your cock in front of everyone with no shits given alone is stupid.

OP is unironically playing the game wrong, which works for his group and is fine if his group enjoys that, but still shows his lack of understanding of demon lore and game mechanics for epic lulz.

saged again for good measure

>>55374181
Have you ever been tested for autism?

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>>55374064
>best dnd moment involves rape

>>55373182
That's because nobody cares. Now fuck off.

>>55373182
>nobody cares
Right you are.

One time I was on a two man mission in an underground goblin hideout. Got stuck in a room then eventually persuaded a more intelligent than average goblin to quit his group and join us. "We can go farther than those other gobs!" or something like that. Ends up being one of my favourite moments I've been a part of. I give him a new name, Scarborough. We adventure through killing goblins, lizards, undead minions then eventually the necromancer. Scarborough finishes the boss with a flurry of blows we call "Scarborough Faire" It was fantastic. Sorry for the formatting, I'm shit at writing.

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>>55373113
>>55373274
>Tripfag buttmad no one care about his lesorandom nat20meme story.
>Fffu... Fuuuc... ccckkkk... Off trolls!

>>55373113
Nobody else is going to tell you this, so i will: you're playing D&D wrong. Seriously. Here's some tips.

1) Having your edgy fantasy avatar go into a brothel doesn't make you look cool. It makes your character look like a loser, and it makes you look like a virgin.
2) Nat 20s account for 5% of all d20 rolls. Treat them as such.
3) Summoning a CE demon in a populated town for lulz is not a CN act. That's straight up evil, bro.

p.s. 'namefag' refers to someone who fills in the name box with something cringy and shit, like 'The Bone Mage'. Don't be a namefag.

>>55373274

this is a great post 10/10 you really are the reason why people coem to tish board is fi uc oul hadve you a meda l i wodul because - man - who doesnt love you right i mean wow, pointing out something - for what it is. That's a Rock! and i HATE IT haha isn't that FUNNY how people can relate to your ironic hatred of rocks, what a great sardonic commentary on the state of /tg/ right now, i appreciate your defecation - i mean haaha, DEDUCTION and your great CONTRIBUOT TO BOARD.

>>55375679
Nice bait

>>55375679
Hmmm.
I reviewed your post, and found it to be accurate and on point.

>>55375765
Not even bait, I'm going full white knight here

>>55375679
He's not wrong.

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1/2

>5e D&D
>Had been forever DM'd for years, this was my first time playing D&D as a PC rather than a DM.
>Playing a drow elf thief, level 8 at the time
>Party is exploring a huge iceberg layer of a white dragon, stumble (literally) into its main lair
>It's huge (hundreds of feet wide), shrouded in fog, and has ground that requires an Acrobatics check to avoid slipping and falling on.
>Dragon appears. It's an Adult White (CR 13)
>Party warlock casts web, holding it in place for 1 round
>Party ranger deals ~15 damage to it on his turn.
>I run up onto the dragon's back, since climbing onto a creature grants Advantage and, therefore, sneak attack
>Dragon breaks free of the web and flies off, leaving the rest of the party behind.
>Party can't move across the lair fast enough thanks to slippery floor to reach me; nor see me because of fog.
>So now it's just me and the dragon
>Absolutely certain I'm going to die, but fucked if I'm not going to do as much damage as I can to the dragon first.
>Because I'm on its back at the base of its neck, the DM rules that it can't reach me with its claws, bite, or breath, but it can still tail-slap me and try and throw me off or crush me against the ceiling
>Thanks to Lucky feat and very good Acrobatics, the dragon is unable to throw me off.
>Keep sneak attacking it in the neck, dealing tons of damage.
>Taking a ton of damage in return, though, from multiple tail attacks
>Dragon finally gets fed up with me, runs towards a hole in the ice that leads to freezing water and out to the ocean.
>"How long can you hold your breath?!" Dragon demands
>Doesn't reach the hole that turn, gets to my turn.
>I have a potion of water breathing and quaff it.
>"I can hold my breath for a really long time!" I should back.
>DM forgot about that potion.
>Dragon dives into water anyway to try and freeze me off
>But in 5e, freezing rules don't kick in until 1 minute has passed. DM forgot that.

>>55373113
>be elf ranger
>clearing out a cult base with party and local militia
>"roll perception"
>fucking dropbears- I mean ceiling goblins
>"win" initiative
>bow a guy for max damage
>DM says I pin him to the ceiling by the throat
>brutal.jpg
>everyone lives through the ambush
>hellhound shows up, gets roughed by dudes in front
>finish it off with a crit when character's bard gf is the only one that fails the DEX save vs breath attack
>everyone except my dude and one of the militia go ahead while we hold the entrance should reinforcements somehow arrive
>while everyone's upstairs fighting fire skeletons and bloodbenders, some sort of lesser demon busts out of the floor and sends militia guy flying to get KO'd against the wall
>1v1 me casul
>demon apparently rolls terribly, can't land a single hit
>useyourswordkid.phil
>get some good hits, nothing extremely good
>upstairs is just a gangbang on the last few dudes, bard comes back downstairs
>request she head right the fuck back up and tell everyone there's a god damn secret basement demon
>message is relayed
>still not hit at all somehow, thank you rigged online dice roller
>wizard is first back on the scene
>kills it with some spell like Acid Arrow or whatever
>bard still impressed as fuck I no-hit a demon for that long
>>55375529
>tfw you live in a place called Scarborough and quite enjoy the Faire
Just for the coincidence, I'mma gonna green your post up.

>On a two man mission in an underground goblin hideout
>Got stuck in a room
>Eventually persuaded a more intelligent than average goblin to quit his group and join us >"We can go farther than those other gobs!" or something like that
>Ends up being one of my favourite moments I've been a part of
>I give him a new name, Scarborough
>We adventure through killing goblins, lizards, undead minions then eventually the necromancer
>Scarborough finishes the boss with a flurry of blows we call "Scarborough Faire"
>It was fantastic

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>>55375959
2/2

>By this point, I have only 4 hit points left.
>Stab the dragon one last time. Wasn't a critical.
>DM glares at me. "The dragon screams in rage and fury as blood gushes from its neck. It writhes a few moments, then dies."
>I (the player and the character) literally whoop in joy.
>Remember, this is my first time ever actually playing D&D as a player. And I just slew a dragon, the iconic D&D action
>And this dragon was WELL above my character level, to boot.
>Swim out of the freezing water and into the ice cave. Would have frozen to death (and been perfectly okay with doing so after a fight that epic), but the party ranger had by then caught up and helped warm my character up.
>Later, doing some math, realize that my total damage to the dragon was only 3 less than its hit point maximum.
>For all intents and purposes, I, a level 8 thief, just solo'd a CR 13 adult white dragon.

EPILOGUE
>Post about this awesome story on /5eg/
>Everyone calls me a faggot, no one believes me, or says I have a crappy DM
>But they're just jealous 'cause they've never solo'd a dragon well outside their recommended CR level
>With their first D&D Player Character.
>No one will ever take away this awesome moment from me.
>Iliira would later go on to solo-slay an even mightier dragon, the mate of this one out for revenge
>But that is a story for another time...

>>55376053
nice story

>>55375960
Nice story anon and thanks. I guess I'll add to it a bit

Cont.
>Scarborough eventually gets gangraped by some enemies
>Death.exe
>I'm visibly upset by this in character and ooc, he was just damn cool, ya know?
>DM in his good graces, has my god feel pity upon this creature I took in as my own and reincarnates him
>I know he shouldn't have given me favor but I gladly accept
>Scarborough reincarnates as a fuckstrong Tiefling barbarian

I felt like a child having accepted it but it was fun.

>>55375576
its not a tripfag. I agree he was being a fag but thats not a tripfag, just a namefag.

>>55373113
>Playing 3E human monk.
>Tracking down the main villain of the setting, a mysterious individual named Julafeno
>After many trials and travails,we corner Julafeno in a bar
>Julafeno steps out from under his cloak, revealing that he is a M*xican
>He starts dancing and singing and waving his hat, offering us a round of drinks.
>My character is the only one who succeeds on his will save
>Everyone else is lured in with the offer of free tap to be knocked out at best by his lethal flatulence
>Now have to face him off on my own.
>And I'm a monk.
>Great.
>Obviously, trying to hit him is out of the question.
>And if I sit and dodge, eventually he'll get me.
>Hoping this will work, I tumble past him, weaving in and out of the chairs and other patrons, to grab a torch from the wall.
>Fling it at him, igniting the cloud of stench around the guy, which blows up the entire tavern.
>Kills all the companions.
>Kills most of the people in the tavern.
>Really badly hurts Julafeno
>I have improved evasion so I'm fine.
>Finish him off with a stunning fist and then a flurry of blows.
>DM says that I turn CE for my wanton murder of about 30 people, and that I fall.
>Point out that I'm not a paladin, I can't fall.
>He starts screaming incoherently at me and tells me to get out of his house.
>I do, but piss on his car before I head home.

Best night of DnD I ever had.

>>55373113
>le nat 20 meme
Normies please go

>in a town subjugated by werewolves
>after a session or two of not knowing how to defeat them, we finally meet a character who tells us we can use silver
>quest to obtain a cache of silver weapons
>ambushed by werewolf
>can't beat him since we have no silver
>tackle him and put an immovable rod on his neck to subdue him
>barbarian realizes that she has a tiny silver ring
>beat the shit out of him until dead

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>>55376091
Honestly, just playing Iliira is a story in and of itself.

>Be me, 13 years old, the year 2000
>Get into D&D in the most roundabout way possible: Buy the novelization for Baldur's Gate II, when leads me to buy Baldur's Gate
>Decide to roll up a "drow" character for BG, since the drow in the BGII novel seemed cool.
>Roll up a thief because I hate locked chests and traps (and want to mage Imoen as early as possible)
>Roll up a female because I'm a 13-year-old guy
>Play Chaotic Good because for all my proto-faux goth and Linkin Park pretension I'm a big softie and like helping people
>Name character Iliira Ii'ilmerias because I think it sounds cool

Note that this makes me probably the last person on Earth who rolled up a drow character without having ANY prior exposure to Drizzt Do'Urden.

>Play BGI and BGII, decide to look into D&D that the games are based on
>Shiny new 3rd Edition has just come out
>Decide I want to roll up Iliira from Baldur's Gate, but figure that DMs probably won't let me play a Bhaalspawn. So I decide Iliira is just a normal drow that was born on the surface and raised by humans somehow
>Years pass before I finally assemble a group. Have to teach them D&D; this means I'm DM'ing. My first campaign is Oriental Adventures 'cause I'm a massive weeb
>One of the other players wants to GM Star Wars d20 Revised after I'm done DM'ing.
>After, another player GM's SpyCraft.
>Then I DM again
>Then Star Wars game
>Then Vampire: the Masquerade
>Then I DM again...

This continued for years. It's not that I never got to play at all, it's that I never got to play D&D. Occasionally it'd look like I'd get a chance, but something would come up and it'd fall through and I'd end up having to DM.

All the while, I continuously developed Iliira into a fully developed character, giving her a detailed backstory, relations, motivations, personality, flaws, etc.

It was the tail end of 2015 before I finally got to play her. But damn, it was worth the wait.

>playing pathfinder with people I didn't know well.
>gun dude.
>party composed of some eh members, but fun anyway.
>dude of party has a something for girl of party irl.
>we get to safe inn for the night.
>dude sneaks in girl's character room.
>oh boy he wants to flirt in character to get the girl irl.
>must stop this before it's too late
>roll a check for hearing.
>"yep, you can hear everything "
>bump on the wall and yell at he dude something like "Give it up cowboy, I've heard rodeo horses more willing to get ridden by someone, boy" in my southern accent.
>never been ashamed of my meta cockblocking.

>>55374304
>Guy dosnt agree with me and thinks lolXDsorandom is dumb.
>Clearly an edgy baseless shit talk about his mental state over the internet will show I'm boss.

Newfags ruined a shit board. Then this wave of turbo fags come and ruined what was left. KYS.

People not responding doesn't mean you win it means they left and didn't even bother to read your post.

Regret coming to thread. Saged.

>>55373113
>Spend entire campaign playing as a LE Goblin that makes his plans to eliminate all nonmonster races VERY clear.
>Playing in the midst of an entire group of traditional races.
>Offer everyone in the group and their peoples high ranking positions and seats in the council if they swear fealty
>All but party wizard do. He's a drow. Typical edgelord.
>Thwart his plans to betray the party in its nascent stages. Player gets butthurt as shit.
>Spends the rest of the campaign plotting against me and my squad.
>Final battle against the big bad comes around. It's PAINFULLY obvious that we're both saving all of our resources during the final fight.
>When we finish the boss, the wizard, along with the party dwarf, instantly betray me. My character was loyal and had no intention of ever breaking his word to them.
>Thus sparks a 2v1 while the rest of my allies watch. I'm strangling the dwarf over the side of a cliff while I stand with my foot on the throat of the drow.
>The dwarf suicides to try to take me with him but ends up falling to his death. The wizard blows his wad and fails every roll.

I incapacitate him and we conclude the campaign with a fade to black as my henchman is dragging the drow wizard to meet his fate.


It was so much fucking fun. Everyone was on the edge of their seat and cheering for their respective side. I've never seen our party so polarized but also invested at the same time. The wizard player threw his pencil across the room at the conclusion, but we all ended up laughing and agreed that it was an awesome way to end such a contentious campaign.

The players that were on my side had all just sat back and watched, which is exactly what my PC would have wanted. It was the most intense RP our group has ever done.

>>55376197
how do dm autists like this exist.

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>>55373113
No one gives a fuck about your nat20 story. Anyone who posts a story about D&D where a nat20 plays a pivotal role, should not only be permabanned from this board, but also tracked down by IP and beaten to death with a fucking sledgehammer. I see enough of this shit on my normiebook page shared with me by normalfuck D&D friends I play with. I am sick of it. Nat20s are the stupidest shit in the world.

>>55374064
This is even stupider. This isn't clever or funny. This isn't a good story. This is just "haha I put bombs up my ass and somehow didn't die form a bomb going off in my ass but the dungeon keeper almost died.

>>55374181
This.

>>55374304
Fuck off. It's not autism to be annoyed at a faggot who ruins a game world's believability and consistency because a 5% event happened. It's not even clever, it's just random chance. A fucking gelatinous cube could seduce a succubus 1/20 times by that shit logic. BUT NO IT'S FUN AND FUN IS ALL THAT MATTERS FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN, IT'S FUNNNNNN TO ROLL A NAT20 AND DO RIDICULOUS STUPID SHIT THAT MAKES NO SENSE, AND FUNNNNN IS ALL THAT MATTERS. THROW YOUR FUCKING BOOKS IN THE TRASH, THEY ARE INTERFERING WITH THE FUNNNN OF COMPLETELY DESTROYING THE GAME WORLD APPROXIMATELY ONCE PER GAME SESSION BECAUSE I ROLLED A CRIT ON MY ATTACK SO MY SWORD SWING CONVINCED THE GUARD CAPTAIN TO SUCK MY DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING! I WONDER HOW MANY UPVOTES THIS WILL GET ON TUMBLR!!!!

>>55373113
Le epic Natural 20, bruh

Have an Upvote

>>55375959
>>55376053
This is a really fun story, I'm happy for you anon.
>>55376437
Also, she sounds like a nice character. Seeing really old, kind of silly characters slowly evolve into simple and really enjoyable ones warms my heart. Good for you.

>>55376197
What the fuck did I just read?

>>55378799
Well, anon, it looks like a session of RaHoWa to me ...

>>55378292
>Not autistic
>Replies are paragraphs of buttmad
Hahaha what a loser

>>55379039
Dude, >>55378292 has a point.

Plus, Ad hominem are a fucking worthless waste of humanity. Seriously , kys.

>>55379039
Just because I'm autistic doesn't mean you're less autistic. In fact you are more.

>I don't like OP's story because it's meme trash
>but I'm not going to contribute to the thread with my own story that isn't meme trash
>I'm going to continue to bandwagon on hating OP's story and his thread even though there have been multiple posts shitting on him and the thread

>>55380157

Why wouldn't you save your good stories for non-meme-trash threads?

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>>55373113
Summoned creatures don't last longer than a few rounds?

>>55374181
Agreed. Chaotic stupid isn't welcome.

>>55380251
>save your stories
I sure hope you're pretending to be retarded, because any dipshit can repost something in a different thread if they want to. It's not like the story changes because it's in a different thread.

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>DMing a thiefy sneaky stealy game
>party is a sneaky kobold, a spooky illusion wizard, and a fancy master of disguise
>players work for a thieves guild and are given contracts
>they get a contract telling them to steal a secret recipe from a world famous chef
>they check the place out during the day, find a good entrance on the roof
>they fail to gather information about who the chef is or what his plans are for today and tonight
>that night they enter the chef's mansion through a skylight above a vacant study
>kobold peeks out the door
>there's a whole fucking party on the first floor
>they think of a plan
>while they do that I leave the room to take a shit
>I return and all the players are grinning at me
>oh boy
>kobold sneaks up onto a chandelier and spots a wallsafe in the kitchen
>its an open kitchen connected to the main room and the chef is in it making food and doing party tricks and generally showing off
>wizard hides up on the second floor balcony using magic to hide himself
>master of disguise is mingling with guests
>wizard asks me
"anon, could I manipulate the candle and chandelier flames? like make them grow and shrink and wave around?"
I dont see why not, that sounds like a simple trick
>with that question answered their plan springs into action
>master of disguise leaps up onto the table in the center of the main room, kicking food everywhere
>wizard, still in hiding, begins to make the flames shift and change unnaturally
>master of disguise starts chanting like a mad man in some made up tongue, occasionally throwing in insane screechings about dead gods and the end of days in common
>party goers panic and begin to flee from the mansion
>kobold quickly leaps down and uses the chaos to hide
>he picks the safe open, steals the recipe, which is actually a scroll that makes bad food delicious, revealing the chef to be a fraud
>the party slips away into the screaming crowd without a trace
I gave them bonus xp and payment for the creative solution

>>55380474

post a story 2 or 3 times, and it becomes copypasta. you're only going to get the genuinely cool "wow, nice one anon" reaction once, twice if you're lucky. Might as well do it in a good thread.

>>55373113
>Typical chaotic neutral faggotry lol s0 r@nDu/\/\B!

I'm going to bed before some invader zim homebrew shit shows up.

>>55380511

I enjoyed your story.

Happened just today
>playing Half-Orc Ranger with low DEX
>battling a goblin fort that charges a toll for crossing their bridge
>last goblin left atop a wooden tower
>throw my handaxe
>at disadvantage
>nat 20/19
>it's enough to hit and kill him
>later on we find their village, force them to convert to a new religion and I take all their women as my wives

Surely this will not backfire ever
The bridge where we slaughtered their husbands and strung up their bodies as a warning/trophy is forbidden grounds as per their new religion, on pain of death.

The party is a group of agents working for a city-state's spy agency, and tasked with breaking into an embassy and planting devices which will allow their agency to scry into the embassy.

>sorceror snags an invite to a ball being held at the embassy by flirting with one of the diplomats. Takes the fighter as his plus one/bodyguard.
>rogue gets a job at the bakery who supplies the embassy as a delivery boy.
>cleric spends 3 days preaching on the street so the guards get used to his prescence.

On the day of the ball:

>sorceror and fighter turn up in fancy clothes, mingle, then slip away to the pre-arranged meeting point.
>rogue got in through the kitchens earlier and hid in the servant's quarters all day.
>cleric casts fog over the main entrance/courtyard and uses a potion of mistform to sneak in.
>successfully plants a scry device in the post room and the main diplomat's office. They find a secret interrogation room behind a bookcase and fight an animated armour guard.
>steal a bunch of love letters as kompromat.
>the party splits up to leave.
>sorceror manages to talk his way out of being caught by the guard in the best RP he's ever done.
>fighter and cleric walk out the main gates.
>rogue gets caught but escapes over the rooftops using a grappling hook.

Nothing extraordinary, but it was just a really satisfying session. Everyone was on it and immersed, RP'd properly and made great decisions. It also made me think that they're ready for Shadowrun.

>>55382923
Your group sounds amazing. I'm practically babysitting the other PC's and I expect that one of them is going to die within the next few sessions.

>>55383111

They're pretty great, yeah. They normally look for non-combat solutions first. The whole campaign is coming together really nicely.

The sorceror's a bit terrible at RP and decision making, but the fighter handholds him through most things.

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>>55374568
>>55375213

>>55380421
Bound by true loves first kiss? Maybe succubus are except because they can leech enough energy to remain material through carnal pursuits,

>>55373113
> D&D best moments thread

when we stopped playing it.

This is not DnD, but a old school DnD clone, I was playing a CG lizard thief.

>I got kicked out of a royal meeting, because I wouldn't duel a prince with +5 armour and a +5 sword.
>With a shitty dagger he had on him, because I had given my weapons to the guards.
>The duel was for the right of speaking on the meeting and it was to the dead. Regardless they didn't like lizardfolk.
>So I am in the royal quarters, with some time to kill.
>Might as well check out the windowless tower, that sometimes roars with the sound of a hundred lions.
>I sneak into the tower which is just a big staircase to the top.
>Climb over the guards by scaling the walls and go into the only room in this god forsaken tower.

Now at this point I was smelling some kind of funny business, but I didn't expect this.

>The guards were just about done throwing the last prisoners of war into this massive spider web.
>They leave and lock the door and out of the darkness pops up a massive, massive spider.
>One of the lady prisoners starts screaming and I run over to pull her out of the web.
>The spider watches patiently and when I just get her free, he impales her killing her instantly not even counting the poison damage.

>>55384138

Now I am locked inside a room with a giant spider and I don't even have a weapon.

>The spider doesn't seem to mind that I am in his room and just watches.
>Chained to the wall is a 11 year old girl, that is malnutritioned and beat up.
>She is the BBEG daughter and her spider "pet" is her bodyguard.
>It's only directive is to keep her alive and staying in this dark room seems to be least effort for this spider.
>Apparently the king threatens to kill the little girl and blackmails the spider into killing other monsters.
>"Say no more poor child, I am breaking you out of this place" and I start picking the 4 locks that are keeping her limbs chained to the wall.
>At this point the spiders starts talking and giving his opinion, about not wanting to leave and the futility of my actions.
>The spider whispering spidery things did not help my lockpicking, because I botch the last two locks.
>I start smashing the locks and the spider starts to slowly descent from his web.
>The last lock won't give way and the spider is getting really close.
>At this point I use a legendary heirloom I got from my previous character that was forced to retire after getting mauled by a Not-dragon.
>It is a glove of strength and I rip the last chain out of the wall.
>The spider doesn't like this and roars/charges.
>I just manage to punch out the lock with my power glove and by burning my "good boy" points (aka Not-faith points).
>I run past all the guards with a little girl wrapped up in chains, a massive roaring spider hot on my heels.
>All things said and done, it was a great success.

At every point and action I did in this massive spider room, my DM gave me the "are you sure you want to do this" speech.
And me answering "it is what my character would do"

>party exploring temple
>come across sleeping dragon
>rogue decide to take some gold
>Dragon wakes up, mad
>thing is fucking huge, party decides to flee
>get hit with a spell, fall prone
>party leaves me behind
>dragon captures me, declares that its going to eat me
>try to negotiate with it, tell it i can cook it a fine meal
>ask our dm to hold the game on a cliffhanger for now, going to go to the store
>go buy groceries, come back and prepare a lamb roast with other stuff and wine
>players and dm love it
>dragon bequeathes me immortality provided i live with it
>retire character to live with dragon, it made a few appearances with dragon in later games
I had fun. Party players were a little confused at first but they were all on board once i announced my intent, they like my cooking.

I'm playing a Merciful Fate Cleric (from Kingdoms of Kalamar) in an E6 game, and since all Conjure (healing) spells can be cast one spell level lower than normal, that makes me Jesus with healing laser spam. (Ranged Cure spells are no longer a waste of spell slots!!!)

We fight a very large fuck-off demon-spider as a boss. I'm glad my Domain gives me access to Neutralize Poison though lt'll be tough because I'll only get one shot.
>reading book
>Neutralize Poison can be used to make an enemies poison fangs/breath/weapons harmless.
"I USE NEUTRALIZE POISON ON THE SPIDER!!!"

Needless to say, it was a good stomping rather than a near TPK. Who's a heal-slut now?!

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>>55376197
AnD ThEn ThE WhOlE BuS ClApPeD.

>>55377188
The hero every table needs.

>>55380136
>>>55379039
>Just because I'm autistic doesn't mean you're less autistic. In fact you are more.

The story of 4chan.

>>55376053
Genuinely good story. As a DM I love moments of drama like this.

>>55378292
Fresh pasta everyone

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A trashy story for a trashy thread. I still like it though.