Woland Leadbelcher

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One night during a Dr. Pepper fuelled fit of impulsive rage and masturbation, he turned his tutor into a piece of solid gold. With the wealth of a gnome-sized nugget, he bought a one way ticket the counties’ only academy of wizardry. Despite his one night of brilliance, Woland couldn’t fathom to repeat his success in either transmutation or alchemy. By this point Woland had been there for 2 years, and in between his requests for experimental samples of precious metals and cat-girl prostitutes, he was raking in quite the debt. Woland had few friends at the academy, and there was no one to help him when the head master barged into his quarters with armed guards, demanding either Woland’s money or his kneecaps. Within 30 seconds, Woland realised how he was able to turn men into metal. Something between all the Dr. Pepper, Hentai, and being threatened by nasty men unleashed an anger in Woland’s soul. Only in a state of pure rage could Woland be the wizard he always wanted to be.

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400lbs of gold shaped into distressed looking men would normally be worth a king’s ransom. However, Woland was a man against time. Pushing the statues into his room and locking the door, he hastily turned the key into a solid gold coin. Or rather, he merely created an illusion; something that he had been doing for the past 2 years. Within a few hours of the academies stable master accepting his payment for his fastest horse, the illusion shattered. The coin turned back into worthless iron, and the nervous apprentice who just stole from the academy also killed their grandmaster.

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Woland travelled as far as his horse could carry him. When the horse died of exhaustion, his fear drove him to walk for another 2 weeks. Pitching up in the nearest tavern, he sat down, thinking over his short life. He may have been a failure, abandoned his family and he would never set foot home alive, but he still had all the power, when pushed to it, of a wizard and an illusionist. He would find himself using those skills often in his future adventures. Woland is also a White nationalist.

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