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Stupidest Wishes

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So, I'm the guy who's GM's tinder date got doxxed and whose other party member killed himself by accidentally teleporting to the elemental plane of water, back with another story.

Today our 11th level Eldritch Knight used his Find Familiar spell to summon a weasel for no other reason than to dick around with it, agitating the sorcerer to no end. Later while exploring an abandoned palace the Sorcerer read his Randomnomicon (to cast any spell in 5e at random). He gets Wish. Casting Wish for free as an 11th level Sorcerer sounds incredible. Other people start asking what he should do with it, what's the best thing to get out of Wish, but before they decide he says "I cast Find Familiar."

GM asks "Really?"
Sorcerer: Yes.

And that's how our Eldritch Knight managed to get our Sorcerer to waste a wish spell so that they could use their fucking familiars as phones to talk to each other.
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>So, I'm the guy who's GM's tinder date got doxxed
Wait wut
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>>55299041

I don't think Find Familiar works that way.
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>>55299041
I had a campaign where the entire epic tier was crafted by the true wish that each party member individually got.

One member wished for "all the money" which created a universe in which anything of value could only be used by him, which included food, meaning that literally everyone HAD to be a slave to him if they wanted to eat, because then it would be a transfer of resources between one form and another, and the food wouldn't turn to ash in their mouth.

One wished for enough power that her village would never need to bargain with any other entity than her. This wish actually worked out pretty well for her.

One wished for the power to protect humanity from the predatory influence of the fey, which created an entire police force of clones of him that diligently, and rather coldly, protected the universe from the fey, and he continued to play the youngest shard of this entity. Unbeknownst to the party, this was actually a backup shard intentionally left by the now eldritch entity that retroactively experienced millennia worth of lifetimes as defender of humanity in an active attempt to maintain its own waning humanity.

..... more wishes to come....
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>>55300802
One wished for "the world to become a brighter place where everything works out for the best in the end" which, on the one hand was incompatable with the first wish, thus creating two separate universes: one noblebright, and one slaveworld. They continued to adventure in noblebright world, while the other-self from slaveworld tried to invade (allowing the "all the money" player to continue playing his character.) HOWEVER, this also re-introduced the concept of ENDINGS to a universe that had been functioning on a cyclical mode of narrativium, which weakened the seasonal fey courts, and awakened the maiden, the mother, and the chrone.... and the threat of oblivion for the first time in centuries since the three had been sealed away by the seasonal courts.

The last party member simply wished for the entity granting their wishes to be granted its freedom, and nothing else. He did not know this at the time, but this entity was the cosmic manifestation of entropy that had been bound into mortal form, and could only release itself into the narrative aether by granting the champions who had restored its shattered pieces their wishes. It was actually dumbfounded by this genuine selflessness and compassion, and for a brief moment felt actually empathy for the little dwarf, and spoke the words "I do not wish to eat you." It was at this moment that the dwarf, unbeknoenst to the party or the dwarf, had become TRULY immortal: the one undeniable fact in the universe that would exist forever untouched by entropy. They didn't actually discover this consequence until he was first "killed" but merely stood their maimed and armless, but fully conscious and alive and slowly regenerating to the physical state he had the moment he made the wish.

Basing the entirety of epic tier off of twisting the wishes of the party's paragon-tier-reward lead to a great deal of unexpected and interesting improvised epic-tier experience.
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>>55299219
In this situation, if you're a merciful GM, it may as well so that wish isn't 110% wasted.

I mean, granted, it stil is, but you can at least say 'fuck it, whatever' and let them have their weasel walkie talkies.


Also 'walkie talkie' sounds like one of those bullshitted-up British joke names of something like cold on the cob or nutty gum and fruit spleggings.
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>>55300829

OP didn't say walkie talkie. They meticulously described how the weasels would function as a means for the two characters to communicate.
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>>55300844
Tomato, tomato.
Thread posts: 8
Thread images: 3


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