Alternative Class Careers

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>>55258691
Bard -> Spy

"Ever notice how there's always a bard, no matter where you go?
Doesn't matter if it's the seediest bar, the nicest tavern, or the dining hall of royalty, there's always some ponce singing about how he wants to fuck the moon or something in the background.
Most of the time, that's all he is. But sometimes, he's a bit more.
Have you ever really listened to "The Ballad of Baron Bastage"? Of course not, it's garbage. Half the lines make no sense, the rhyme scheme is awful, and nobody ever gets the second verse right.
So why is it so popular? Because, depending on which line is skipped or which words are mixed up, that song can mean anything from "The western Empire is building its armies up for an attack" to "The beloved princess has slain another suitor because he figured out she likes women".
Of course, you need to know what to listen for, and most don't. But when you need to deliver a message to that shadowy figure in the back without anyone catching on, it's a good song to use.
But I digress. You and your fellows are going to investigate the ruins to the south, yes? I would like to accompany you. There are quite a few people who would like to know about them, and I'm willing to cut you in on their generosity."

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>>55258711
Barbarian -> Explorer

"Good evening, my fellow wilderness enthusiasts! Come, have a drink, and I shall tell you of my travels in the jungles of Elia!
There I was, machete in one hand, spyglass in the other, my manservant Jarvis here dutifully sketching the saber wolf I had just slain (Jarvis, show them the fangs!), when the hair on the back of my neck started to stand up.
Now, I had heard of the cannibal tribes of the area and their fondness for the flesh of women such as myself, so I immediately put away my spyglass (a true explorer always protects their tools!) and began to scan the area, when a Wood Elf with stripes like a leopard emerged from the trees and began to chant in a strange tongue!
Now, as any good adventurer would in this scenario, I quickly slashed at his feet to unbalance him, but the savage was faster than I had anticipated and jumped over my blade! Undeterred, I immediately threw my shoulder into his chest, tackling him to the ground and knocking the wind out of him!
As I readied to silence his war chant with my blade, Jarvis placed a hand on my shoulder and attempted to pull me back! Good on you for trying, Jarvis! I almost moved that time!
My manservant then quickly explained to me that the war chanting was merely a foreign dialect of Elven, and the tribesman had been praising me for my skill in slaying the beast.
After laughing the misunderstanding off, I took the carcass to the Elf's village, where we feasted upon wolf meat and strange fruits with marvellous hallucinogenic effects, and left a week later having advanced Science by leaps and bounds, I am told!
My next expedition takes me to the frozen southlands, where there are tales of hares the size of elephants! Will you join me?"