Things you can say to your girlfriend but not The Emperor

>>55211887
"I think we should spend some time apart"

>>55211887
>No, that's a bad idea.

>>55211887
I think you would make great parent one day.

>>55211887
You're a good parent.

>>55211887
>get up honey, you cant stay on the couch all day!

>>55211887
What two and eleven stand for?

Your kids are so well mannered

Alternatively : I want you to sit on it.

>I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that...

>>55211887
Sometimes I think humanity is irredeemable

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>>55212016

>>55211887
>...God-Emperor of Mankind...

>>55211887
Get up off that chair, we need to be somewhere

>>55211887
Horus did nothing wrong.

>>55211887
Fight me!

>>55211887
I'm sure I will love your children like they're my own.

>>55211887
All I ever wanted was the truth.

Your love doesn't always feel real.

>>55211887
>I think you did something wrong...

>>55211887
I can't say anything to either, they're both fictional

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>>55212469
>Emperor
>fictional

>>55211887
let's go for a walk

>>55211887
>Do you believe in God?

>>55212147
>Saying that to anyone
HERESY

>>55211887

"You're a heretic."

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>actually believing in any of the gods people consider "real" over The God Emperor of Mankind

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>>55211887
The last thing you would expect catching the Commissar doing

>>55212977
Your mom.

Sometimes I think you only see me as a tool

>>55212977
>BLAM!

>>55212977
Giving the guardsmen "You did a good job!" stickers to help improve morale.

I just can't see any commissar doing that.

>>55212977
Masturbating with Power Fist on.

>>55212977
My sister

>>55212977
Attacking in an opposite direction.

>>55212977
Stabbing xenos with his other power sword.

>>55212977
Not being fabulous.

>>55212977
>I'll look past it this one time

>>55212977
>Everyone retreat! Flee for your lives! We can't possibly hope to defeat this evil!

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>>55212016

>>55212977
Being practical and efficient.

>>55212977
Actually delivering sound tactics to his troops

>>55211887
> I want to fuck you right now.
> Why don't you ever swallow?

>>55213074
I can see Cain doing it.

>>55213159
>>55213415
>>55216019
>>55216027
Also Cain.

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Things your talking sword says about your shield but not the party wizard.

>>55220902
>He can take a hit

>>55220902
We can rely on him to help

>>55211887
>are you interested in being saved by Jesus?

>>55212977
Actually shooting the enemies

>>55219386
Cain's hardly your typical commissar, though

>>55220902
That's a decent use of the off hand.

>>55211887
You have a lovely voice.

>>55212977
Giving the emperor a sponge bath.

>>55211887
Do you like my one headed hydra imperatus?

>>55220902
I would be more efficient if you were not here.

>>55211947
kek

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Things you can say to the prince, but not the bishop.

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>>55212469

>>55212674
are you sure Big E is not a Heretic?

>>55223304
We've found a diablerist!

>>55212977
Anything wrong

>>55211887
I want to worship you.

>>55223304
Open it yourself.

>>55224983
Boom.

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>the last words of a monk

>>55225177
My name is, Wish Create Demiplane Miracle Sleep Color Spray Blindness/Deafness Summon Creature Fabricate Scry Teleport Fly

>>55225177
"I’ll tell of this to the tzarina."

>>55225177
"Wait, you mean my entire life's purpose was to become akin to an Angel or Devil, and there are people out there who do what I do, but get to mess around with spiritual makeup the corpses of millions of my ancestors and likeminded brethren whilst practicing similar disciplines that manipulate the very stuff we worked our asses off to perfect and died for to achieve with even better results, because they're stepping on our generations of progress and achievement through master of self?

Incarnum man.

>>55212977
Giving me a promotion
>>55220902
>"Damn, she thick"
>>55223304
Have you accepted Lucifer as humanity's lord and savior?
>>55225177
>"Death is the dusk of existence. It is always followed by a sunrise."

>>55213045
kek

>>55225177
What do you mean by
>"to because a student of a kung-fu master I have to trade my dick or my tounge?!"

>>55225177
"I can survive this fall, trust me."

>>55211945
Too soon

>>55225177
"Well, I suppose my soul would taste like noodles. Why?

>You made me do this

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>things you shouldn't do in a dungeon corridor

I worship you, darling.

>>55233556
Going first.

>>55233587
>going in at all

>>55233556
Pulling out too late.
Not bringing enough back up
Forgetting your protection at home

>>55211887
Maybe you should loss some weight

>>55233556
'I cast fire ball'

>>55233556
walk backwards

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>>55233556

>>55211887
I wish you weren't a corpse

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>the difference between a green dragon and your GM

>>55236715
I am not a dragon. And am not green.
>>55233556
Play soccer.
>>55225177
...

>>55236715
one knows how to spit very dangerous foul things, the other just spits poison.

>>55236715
One is a Huge, Lawful Evil creature with Frightful Precense, the other is a dragon.

>>55236715
One's lair is a damp, stinking and dark place, the other prefers to hide behind a waterfall.

>>55236715
My GM will ONLY jack off to scalies

>>55236715
I wouldn't fuck my GM

>>55211887
>I'm going to plough that ass like virgin soil!

>>55236715
I can't use a dice roll to seduce my GM.

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>>55241162
You just need the right kind of dice.

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>>55241185
>those mold seams

>>55212748

...You know what fuck it i'm going to to reply. From your perspective that is a perfectly rational position and arguing with you will in no way change your mind. In fact attempting to defend my beliefs would probably just drive you further into your own convictions. You keep doing you anon. I wish you luck in life and I hope you're happy. And I mean that truthfully, not in a sarcastic passive aggressive kind of way. It would be really pathetic of me to get all pissy at some guy on the internet. Screams about insecurities really. Anyway, I don't agree with your perspective, but that's fine. Have a nice day.

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>things you shouldn't say to an ice giant

>>55244450
it was ice knowing you

>>55244450
>ice giant
Please don't deport me.

>>55244450
YOU HAVE TO GO BACK

>>55244450
Cold enough for ya?
Put on a sweater, you'll freeze to death!
Is it true what they say about it being colder the higher up you are?

>>55244450
Guess it's pretty cold under there, huh?

>>55244450

Pardon me, do you have a moment to talk about or Lord and Savior, Thor?

>>55244450
Does your jizz freeze inside your testes?

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>paladin pick up lines

>>55211887

> "I love you, but I...I don't think you're real."

>>55250768
Wanna see how lay on hands works?

>>55250768
>Don't worry baby, I'm immune to disease

>>55250768
I think I'm falling for you

>>55211887
Ey bb u wakes?