Has one of your PCs ever been cockblocked hard? Tell us about them

>stepped on a trap button
>stone pillar shoots up from floor
>smashes my guy in the nuts
>everyone laughs
>"cockblocked"

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There was this girl in my group who was playing an elf ranger.
and someone else playing a human wizard.
It was a low magical setting where casting was meant to be done behind closed doors and softly so not to pull down chaos and evil.
The wizard was like. "Heck no" this stuff is amazing they whole world can be made better if we use it to help everyone.
He got beaten up alot. Stabbed, burned, thrown, crushed. Brink of death a few times. But his unwavering hope pulled him and the rest of the party though all the shit the gm threw down.

He was scared to fuck too. But was forever going on and on about how
>We have the power the change the world.
>We have to help. Anon with your sword skills and elfs bow there isnt nothing that can stop us.
>We have healer on our side too. Hes a man who has battled the reaper and sent him packing so many times the reaper has nightmares about him.
>The healer even got mad at him saying he was calling him by the wrong name before he looked down at his sheet and saw that the wizard was right. Fuck knows how that happend

I still remember this as if it really happens, like its clear as if we where there on the battlefield
>he was pinned by a war toll.
>His hp points bleeding away
>"Hahaha go on huzma beg, beg for your life"
>"I don't have enough time left for that. But im not worried, because I have elf"
>he turns to her
>"Shoot"
>She shakes her head no in RL. Dons't even speak
>You can do it. I trust you
>Natural 100. Another roll added off the top of the table.
>The arrow passes though the wizard and hits the war troll in the heart.
>I never even doubted you for a moment

Even I WANTED to kiss him at that moment.

>Elf ranger starts to follow him around like a lost puppy.
>All the party did.
>He would say things like "Hey anon, what would be the best way to approach these road blocks"
>NPC elfen lady bard starts hanging around. Stats and birth put our elf to shame.
...

>>55186511
Isn't that getting rocked in the cock though?

>>55186474
He die, never getting to see his family again.

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>>55186849
>"Oh wizard your robes are really torn up. I got these as a gift for you"
>"No thanks bard, Elf fixed them for me. These are cool"
>Gm to elf. You can see that these are really world made, will give a massive bonus to his AC
>"I think you should take them wizard"
>"hmmm... ok. But on one condition"
>Wizard turns up later, with these new black powerful robes on, but with his old robe cut up and used as decorations to make it more colorful
>"I can't just get rid of it. Look it still has that stain from the time me, you and elf got in that punch up. You where right elf, mustard is really hard to get out"
>Now the system is you level up your stats based on what you use and what you want to put training in.
>Wizard was the first to max out his hp body stat. So dude was ripped. As a fighter I wore chain so attacks did much less damage to me
>Elf bard "Oh I know a slow healing spell. It may get rid of some of your marks. You humans are so...delicate"
>Gm looks elf right in the eyes as he says this.
>Wizard bro is completely obvious to whats going on as he was reading a note the gm passed just a few seconds ago.
>Wizard "agrees" and comes back later, still looking like himself but the scars had began to fade
>Hes wearing this big f-off ring.
>bard has a quest for us. Recover an item from a cave thats filled with orcs
>Easy as pie. Orcs put up little fight, almost like they are low level conspired to everything else. Even like the ones we where facing right at the start.
>Wizard comes clean
>Ring is super magic. He can move his ac and weapon skills to anyone once per turn.
>nice.jpg
>pick up some loot. Find a chest. Really nice, but not covered in dirt and grime like the rest of the stuff in here.
>Elf picks lock. Really strong lock, but the chest is only made of wood. Could of been easily smashed
>Magical dagger, elf and wizard only use them and elf uses family dagger.
>Wizard bro looks sad RL
>switches back.
>"Sure elf. Thanks. You guys mean alot to me"
...

>>55187071
>"Never forget that"
>Wizard bro is meta knowledgeing
>No one knows, but gm.
>Weeks pass RL, mini adventures. Find an old library.
>Wizard would normally lose his mind
>Only reacts slightly
>He holds a yearly magicfest in our starting town.
>Place was bulmble fuck no where, but because we started there Wizard helped the place become important
>Normally fire dance, he tells a story where he bigs up the party
>"Anon heaved his axe so hard the air was ripped from the lungs of the orcs. As death stood by, too frighten by healer to come and claim the souls of these monsters"
>Really I hit a goblin with an axe and healer was next to me
>"This year let the others deal with it. I wanna hang out and drink and play some fair ground games"
>Day comes, wizard is on stage. Black robes without his old robs tied to it.
>Dagger around belt
>Elf bard next to him
...

>>55187184
Don't tell me this is going where I think it is.

>>55187184
>Wizard bro is smiling.
>"Ladies, gentlemen and dwarfs "
>"oi ya fucker" on of them calls out laughing
>"Before my friends show off their mighty, godlike skills"
>Wizard said to gear up to max that morning
>"As you may know I know that magic is in all of us. It binds our souls, our heart and fates together"
>"We may feel the fate pull stronger with those we care about"
>"Healer, Anon, dwarf... elf"
>He pulls the dagger from his belt
>"And its that pull of fate what is the strongest of them all"
>Cuts his own hand
>save vs magic
>Half the villagers die, dwarf is ok, elf loses 50% of his hp, I and healer lose 75%
>"And its with this fate I will save the world from darkness"
>Bard elf cackling
>wizard is in black aura
>wizard is the new BBEG
>really hard fight, healer burning though all the mp restore rare items he had
>im eating the solider pills that half my life span.
>He takes me out by opening up the earth underme
>He just blows the dwarf up with lighting. Metal, on metal on metal. x4 damage
>Elf is next
>"I want to spend my last sanity point"
> Darkness fades for a moment
>"I trust you"
>elf pulls back bow to shoot
>gets stabbed by bard
>bleeds out
>wizard is the bbeg of the next campaign
>bard is his queen
>Wizard bro takes some time away from the group
>Gm and girl player get together

And thats how a bard cucked everyone, even a boy on boy budding love.

>>55187379
Turns out the Ring + Robe + Dagger where evil items that where super strong by themselves but once they came together would turn you evil quickly
I forgot to say I found the item we picked up I found in the trash back at the base. It was smashed in half. I figured what ever was inside it was what she was really after, but no. They where her orcs. They where really weak and the item was just a bit of junk.
I gotta give it to wizard bro, he gave us lots of clues . I miss him.
He said he really enjoyed it but felt a little burned out because of it.
He came back to game a few times but gave up.
In fairness to the gm. Wizbro is one of the few players I knew who could handle this dual role.

>>55186474
Why didn't the orc bro just bang her? She's not that bad looking even if her thirst is off-putting

>>55189015
She's very clingy and he probably doesn't want to have to support her and the three million half-elf babies she wants to have with him.

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>>55189015
But he did, eventually.

>>55189128
not canon

So not a completely lost cause yet but my investigator is currently trying to woo a cleric and every time he makes an attempt the party's barbarian comes by to interrupt.

>>55189015
Because he's a proper upstanding gentleman that knows how to treat a girl right.

Lets be honest, she could have found any other orc to do this shit with, but she chose to keep coming back to the one that wouldn't. She wanted that dick specifically, and for good reason.

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>>55189752

>that feeling when you bare your soul and not even op cares

>>55189015
Bro have you ever been stalked/harassed/glomped by a girl you're just not into?
It doesn't matter how hot she is, it's the worst thing in the world

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>>55186511
>If he's lucky, that merely ruptured his testicles
>If he's not, that shattered his pelvis and his organs are now collapsing without a foundation, causing a painful death
>"Everyone laughs"

The only reason why your character shouldn't be choking everyone else out is because he literally can't stand due to a shattered pelvis.

>>55186474

Well, I failed the roll to seduce the teen daughters of the Count. All of them.

>>55191554
Is that the age or the number of them?

>>55191648

Yes.

>>55191370
To be fair, it was a big and cool story, but you started in on it too soon man. The thread didn't get a chance to do anything before you took up most of it with walls of text.

Shoulda waited for it to get a bit more populated first, then told the story.

>>55186849
>Wizard forced to become bbeg
>GM gets with the girl
>TPK
Nobody won, except the real villain.

>>55191671
The only acceptable answer

>>55191534
>chad problems

>>55191370
Sorry bro, I was getting laid. Gonna start reading your story now.

Does anyone have that story involving the party thwarting an elf from resurrecting her human lover?

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>>55186474

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>>55195933

I do.

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>>55196869
Thanks anon. I was looking for that.

>Figure out my characters daughter was married when I was adventuring
>Say that I approve of her dude bro paladin husband when I really dont
>Hes a complete pussy doing whatever she says spoiling her more than she already is
>Plot his death
>Reach high enough level to use wish
>Reverse the wedding from ever happening
I cock blocked someone who already got his dick wet.

>>55196941
Good father.

>>55186474
I dunno about cock blocked but my DM tried to have my character flirt with a ghost. It was weird because all my character wanted was a way to get inside the mausoleum behind the mansion.

>>55191540
Help! I can't stop laughing at this.

>>55192681
Chads have it hard too, bro

>>55196869
thats quite fun.

>>55191370
It's hard to get into a story written by someone with a 4th grade writing level. I wouldn't have responded to you at all, but now you're fagging it up begging for (you)s.

>>55196938

The hell is this gif from? Reverse image search is no help since it's so prolific as a reaction picture.

>>55200396
a fan animation for kill la kill

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>>55192681
Not even just Chad problems my dude. It's genuinely disturbing to have someone be that clingy and forward towards you despite you giving signs or even outright saying that you have zero interest. Its especially true if they make a habit of following you. Those sorts of people are typically fucking nuts and are to be avoided at all costs.

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>>55199003
>>55201449
Woe is me, I'm a well adjusted tall and attractive guy, many women want to have sexual relationships with to the point where I can afford to turn some down.

>>55203362
Im fairness I have a guy friend who is like this. He didnt have a dad growing up and is kinda needy now

>>55203774
You should try to fuck your friend

>>55204972
He is so passive he wouldnt say no.

I just want to say that one good thing about playing with a female GM is that I can flirt with them. If she smacks my character down hard in response, everybody laughs and I might even get to roll a new character. If she does nothing but roll her eyes, I can press the point to make it seem like I'm ready to whore myself out for imaginary gear, and she'll eventually smile at my buffoonery. And if she flirts back, we might reach an understanding. Getting cockblocked by the GM can be fun. Not with a guy GM, though. They take you seriously and ask "are you sure you want to do that", and it ruins the whole thing.

>>55200396
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9Wlh98dcSA

>>55206683
This was honestly far more amazing than i could have ever dreamed it was going to be.

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>>55206683
>Three female characters
>Only one is actually voiced by a woman

>>55206683
The eyebrow thing still creeps me the fuck out.