Field Kit Inspection: Ball Busting Elysian Commissars Edition

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>>55186206
EHM, YES, WHATEVER YOU JUST SAID LIKELY IS TRUE.

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>>55186206
A 'elpful reminder, zat anyone 'ho fails to pass inspection, vill be painfully punished, un made un example of in-front of ze entire regiment.

Zis vill be done via ze end of mine electro-whip. Any questions?

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>>55186206
Tally Hoo Comissar, Barrington Von Gladstone is ready for service, Glory to Emperor!

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>>55186206
I here, does you has boots

>>55186254
I IMPLORE YOU ABHUMAN, REMOVE THAT BOOT FROMST THING NOGGIN THIS INSTANT!

>>55186206
Wait the old commissar died? Oh well
Reporting for duty and all that.

>>55186277
NOOOOOOOO, its my boot get your own mister priest man

>>55186254
>She would indeed have boots! High-heeled leather boots, that would go up to just below her knees.
>She would also be looking at the abhuman bullgryn, as if he were nothing but a bag of rocks, that someone had glued googly eyes onto.

>>55186241
Oh? A Praetorian, here of all places! I am quite surprised, to say ze least.

>>55186225
Priest.... You are already getting on my nerves...

>>55186300
I protect you boot lady...you have day high rank yes? I protect high rank

>>55186300
There are three actually, me, Major Wyvern and tank commander, M'am

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>>55186295
Yes he has, Magos. Almost a month ago to this very day.

It was just before the Eagle's Fury was destroyed.

>>55186206
excuse me mister commissar may you please inform me of the need of my bike. I am Ren sir. so where do you need us

>>55186326
Wait we lost the ship as well? Goodness I've been so busy working on this invention that I didn't notice

>>55186300
I WILL TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT, DISPLAYING HOW THE ECCLISIARCHY RADITATES WITHIN THE NERVES OF EVERY MAN WIMAN AND CHILD IN THE IMPERIUM, DUE TO THE MAGNIFICENCE OF THE VERY EMPEROR HIMSELF!

>>55186355
I dont think dat was a compliment angry priest man

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Yes comissar, Private Belasya present and stuff

>>55186381
ARE YOU ACCUSING THE GOOD COMMISSAR OF INSULTING A MEMBER OF THE ECCLISIARCHY?

>>55186415
Wat do accusing mean angry priest man

>>55186384
>The Elysian Commissar's eyes would narrow with Angela.

Lose ze attitude, you little Merde. Or you vill taste ze full force if ze Electro-whip. Am I clear.

>>55186333
As if right now. You un your men, are to present arms un equipment for a mandatory field kit inspection.

>>55186447
you sound a bit off mate, you sure your alright?
>he takes a swig of some black liquid and then replaces the bottle

>>55186426
>a long deep sigh
JUST, STOP.
I CANT HANDLE YOUR STUPIDITY.
>>55186344
WHAT ARE YOU INVENTING TECH PRIEST?
SOMETHING LEGAL I HOPE

>>55186447
>Makes salute
Oh course commissar!

>>55186465
I HAVE CREATED A RECAFF MACHINE THAT MAKES ACTUAL TASTY RECAFF.
A INVENTION TO MAKE THE FABRICATOR GENERAL JEALOUS

>>55186465
You are angry little man, I now go follow commisar lady around

>>55186466
MATTHIAS, WHAT IS WITH THIS ACCENT?
HAVE YOU ALWAYS HAD IT?

*put on his prothesis*
I salute thee Commissar!

>>55186487
I AM NOT ANGRY, THIS IS MY PRIESTLY INSPIRATIONAL VOICE!

>>55186500
I no feel inspiration, I feel you are mad at me

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>Staying silent. Intently studies his Uplifting Primer.

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>55186509
WELL IF YOU HAD GONE THROUGH THE SCHOLA YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND.

NOW, ADMIRE MY INSPIRATIONAL HYMMS

>>55186488
That was the wrong name, and you know it

I du not know who zis "Matthias" is. But he sounds like a Praetorian. I am not, a Praetorian. Do I make myself clear, Priest.

>>55186495
>Alex would narrow her eyes, and begin inspecting the "trooper" for anything "off".

>the man walks out of a chimera, picking at his teeth with a quill whilst messing with the tablet he received with his free hand

>>55186532
do you need anything ?

>>55186531
Your words hurt, boot men said words cant hurt you, boot men lie, you word hurt priest man, you too loud

>>55186532
Hello! Commissar! Are you going to inspect me or what?

Rolled 58, 33 = 91 (2d100)

>with the regiment apparently doing their thing, he begins working on his bike with his 4 other squad mates, placing bets on what horror they would send to the warp today

my bets on traitors
james, the 2nd in command: we killed them last time
that's why they would send us again

[rolling for improving them out of tech priests eye sight]

>>55186539
>Following contacts appear:
*Phoen Cun'ek
*Mad Rob
*Inquisitor William
*Mr.Red
*Namelia
*Robert Menaro
*Big Drug seller
*Pact Fleet customer service
*Ars'andog
*Hyla'falen
*Eldar goods seller
*Fat Tim
*Hrud

>>55186531
Your hymm can only inspire children

>>55186581
>my bike makes a few modifications for speed, but my squad only manages to re-align the targets of the twin guns on the handlebars before the local tech adepts scold them

and this is why no-one likes the cog ones

>>55186611
Different name

>>55186630
It no inspire me, it is too loud and angry make it stop pretty lady

>>55186611
>the man looked over the contacts on the screen
>his eyes hover over Ars'andog's name, looking at the shrouded face in the contact image for a few seconds
>then he hits Fat Tim's name with his finger

>>55186539
You! Vot du you think, you are doing?
>She doesn't seen pleased, by the man's blatant picking of his teeth.

Zat is disgusting, and unsanitary! Two laps around ze base! Now!

>>55186562
>The Elysian Commissar would begin eyeing the Magos, with extreme prejudice. Looking for any sign of corruption or heresy involving him, or his invention.
>>55186528
>As she passes by the man, she would use her gloved hand to lift his chin up, and inspect his face.
>When she was finished, she would nod her head, before quickly giving him a gentle tap across the cheek.

Very good

>>55186550
>Should would inspect the man, to see if anything was heretical or "off" about him.

>>55186669
Welcome to Fat Tims exotic inter-galactic food delivery company, how can we be of service?

>>55186676
Commisar lady does I pass, I was told to protect you I should pass do I pass

>>55186676
>the man looks up from his tablet for a split second, before removing the quill from between two molars to sign a sick form, then stamp it.
>>55186688
Uhh... Pizza?

>>55186676
so whats the betting that someone trys to get with the commissar or she kills someone for attempting to. I'm placing 30 thrones on the execution anyone else want a piece of the bet?

>he attempts to stop the commissar listening

Okay boys, remember, slowly and steadily take aim and then fire.
Got it?

>>55186706
I'm in for public electro whipping.
And for the record next time your bike needs mods just talk to me I don't ask many questions

>>55186704
Which one?
>Tablet prints an extensive list of pizza toppings, half of them are made of words Viktor never heard about

>>55186733
>the squad looks at each other

thanks........ um are you not supposed to be screaming about spirits and disrespect in some sound we cant understand?

>>55186667
>Belasya throws some used earphones
This should make it quiter

>>55186734
>the man selects several toppings at random
And a two liter coke

>>55186747
I'm from a more....... Unorthodox forge world. As long as it works and no one gets caught in down with most whatever

>>55186755
Understood, that'll be 300 thrones

>>55186750
How do these do?

Rolled 99 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>55186704
>Her eyes twitch with anger unimaginable.

Two laps around ze base! Or I will add a whipping session before it! Now move!
>>55186700
>The look in her eyes says it all...
>The abhuman before her, is worth less to her, than a bag of bricks with googly eyes glued on them.

... You're fine, Abhuman...

>>55186706
>Rolling to hear.

>>55186758
very well then, and how many thrones are you betting on electro whips?

>>55186767
Just put them on your ears

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>55186772
[rolling to sense the danger I'm in]

>>55186775
Thirty

>>55186772
Yay! I can protect like boot men said
>>55186787
He places them on top of his ears, not inside them
Now what pretty lady

>>55186789
>hmm I got a bad felling about th-

wellp I think this is an alright deal

>>55186798
30 30, your making double

>>55186807
Now everything should be a bit more quiet

>>55186772
so can i go now ?

>>55186765
>the man screams, then hangs up
>>55186772
I can't, I'm recovering from a violent and painful injury

>>55186827
You okay chap?

>Standing still, coughs.

>Shuffles in place.

>>55186845
Yes, after the surgeries and the anti cybernetic rejection drugs I'm recovering well

The bill for that pizza nearly gave me a heart attack though

>>55186818
REN? COME HERE NOW
I4VE GOT THINGS TO TALK ABOUT YOU

>>55186856
Why? What did you order chap?

>>55186821
> the bullgryn is very much confused as the earphones fall from his ears
NOTHING HAPPENED PRETTY LADY PERSON

>>55186772
>>55186706
>The sound of heeled boots clicking against the permacrete echoes loudly in the biker's ears, before suddenly stopping directly behind him.
>A hushed voice echoes into his ear as she begins softly speaking into it.

I hope I did not 'ear, what I think I just 'eard, trooper... Zat would be very bad for you un your men....

>>55186869
Sigh
>She takes some earbuds and places them in his ears
Better now?

>>55186870
>stopping dead, I keep my face neutral despite my hands shaking slightly

magos gelt, is there a very angry elsian with the authority to execute me behind me?

>the rest of the bikers slowly begin to speed walk away

>>55186867
>The man looks over the receipt for the pizza
I... I don't know
>The receipt is written in an completely incomprehensible language. Just looking at it gives headaches

>>55186206

Wouldn't it be Alexei? Or is this just a self insert power fantasy and your name is Alex?

>>55186870
SCREEEEEEEEEECH
[Calm down there, he's just joking]

>>55186886
> the bullgryn nods furiously, then he picks up the elder in a crushing hug
THANK YOU PRETTY LADY

>>55186887
I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a terrifying angry commissar RIGHT BEHIND YOU

>>55186896

>Quietly, asks for a Pepperoni and Tomato deep dish.

>Offers to pay himself.

>>55186914
>Belasya get crushed by his hug
Uhhh can you place me down

>>55186870
Leave this man to me
you do not need to waste your precious time with this scum
>>55186887
and you get up now!

>>55186932
Yes lady, I will protect you too, you be nice to me I no forget

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>55186915
>still calm I straighten my uniform

well commissar, may I just express a small piece of the tactica imperium that is not covered very often.

>still not turning around the biker recites a small passage

"when faced with overwhelming firepower, it is best to retreat to a better position where you will not needlessly sacrifice your assets" I think I will now exersice this action

>he takes off running

[rolling for out running the commissar and her bullets is any are fired]

>>55186934
COMING SIR

>>55186924
Your wallet
>>55186765
Lemme get a deep dish pepperoni and tomato pizza, boneless. Oh, and a two liter coke

>>55186956

>Hands him the payment, but adds that he will expect repayment if anything goes wrong.

>>55186950
[he is infact running towards hanzo]

>>55186956
Of course, please insert credit card

>>55186950
>get him by the ear*
now follow me you little twat
>him and Ren rush into a nearby corridor

>>55186950
>>55186870
I take no responsibility for this course of events

>>55186983
>>55186976
Fuckin... you got a card? I maxed out all of van Kleez's

>>55186984
owowowowowow

>he continues to complain as he is dragged into the corridor

>>55186630
THANK YOU, FOR WE ARE ALL CHILDREN OF THE EMPEROR!

>>55187004

>Halts as he makes to hand the card over, before asking what the final price is.

>>55187019
>>55186983
>The man looks over the tablet again
I can't see it. Huh.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>55186915
>>55186887
It is ok, trooper. You vill not be executed...

>Despite the kind tone of her voice. It's very clear that you're in-danger.

I am just going to punish you a little....

>She looks up, and glares at two nearby men, before indicating that they should grab hold of Ren.
>Rather than risk the same treatment. The two forcefully grab hold of Ren by his arms, and force him to his feet.

Regiment! You 're about to see ze price of an undisciplined mind, and un impure body!

>She would motion for the two men to remove Ren's shirt, and toss it away. Which the two would be quick to do. Exposing his backside to the Commissar.
>Moving a few feet away from him. The Commissar places a hand upon a cool black whip, before beginning to unfurl it in her hands.
>Once she had reached the perfect spot, and the whip had been unfurled, she flips the switch. Causing volts of electrical current to course through the various pieces of sharped metal infused into the whip.
>A loud crack, echoes throughout the airfield, and a half a second later, Ren feels a sharp pain run across the length if his back, followed by a sharp electrical shock, that courses through his back and body.
>This is soon followed by another, and another, until he has been whipped ten times. After which, the Commissar motions for the troopers to let go of him.
>Rolling for how painful it is. Mind you, it won't kill him, even on a natural 20

>>55187005
> inside the corridor
ok now this isn't playground anymore
this commissar is very suspicious about everything, and will not hesitate to kill us both, so be a good little soldier and i don't want to hear about you anymore
did i make myself clear ?

>>55187028
>It shows 15 thrones

>>55187004
Excuse me gentlemen
> he pulls a card from his robes and inserts it
I inherited this from the late great inquisitor quixos his credit was excellent

>>55187034
>despite the fact he had run, the pain still reaches him its agony and...... why does this tickle?

>>55187036
yes sir, it was not a playground even in the beginning sir just more.....unorhtadox

>>55187019
>>55187041
15 Space Shekels, neat.
>Viktor takes the card and slides it through the machine, pressing in the pin code as if he had it memorised

>>55187034
>'NAT ONE

>>55187034
Oh dear...

>>55187041

>Quietly, hands over the card, though his grip on it is tight, as if it physically pains him to hand it over.

>>55187065
Is we buying foods, is has dem shiny things
> he pulls a boot from his belt, it is filled to the brim with thrones, at least 100 thrones

>>55187064
>With his punishment, no matter have insignificant and unpainful it is, now finished. She switched off the electro-whip, and places it away on her belt, before walking away.

Let zis be a lesson to you all, zat neither failure, nor an impure mind, shall be allowed in zis regiment!

>>55187065
>>55187076
Thank you for your transation
>A rocket crashes from sky, it opens up and reveals pizza and coke

>>55187064
i want you to be more rigid than a mordian is that clear ?
also why are you doing a funny face ?

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> Ratling sniper saunters into camp with papers in hand and pack on his back.

Eh, ummm who's in command aroun eer? Was told to report here for special assignment?

> Lights cigar that is closer to a cigarette to a normal person and pops it in his mouth. Then proceeds to sip a thermos of recaff.

>>55187098

>Silently, Immediately begins eating at his food.

>Wordlessly offers to share his drink.

>>55187100
I feel as thought something stupid has just happened sir, I cant explain it but I have felt a sudden tickle on my back. eh we are in the warp after all.

but I will be on my best behaviour. *muttering* while in the battle zone*

>>55187126
Oh btw, the names Ralkin. Specialist.

>>55187127
Aw yeah, two liter
>the man swigs the bottle
Shame van Kleez is passed out in a puddle of his own vomit so he can't enjoy this nutritious meal

>>55187127
> steve shows his boot filled with thrones
What can I get for this much shiny

>>55187126
Hey there fellow sniper! Our leader is this commissar over there>>55187094

>>55187157
Thanks for the heads up, will go report in, eer mate have some recaff.

>The ratling presents a small glass jar filled with a black liquid that smells like boiled leather and old socks.

>>55187154

>Chewing on his food, shrugs, before pointing to Morvos' Phone.

>>55187094
> A middle aged ratling approaches the commissar with papers in hand.
Ello err Commissar?
I'm Specialist Ralkin, reporting for duty sir. Was re-assigned to provide sniper support sir. Where shall I be bunked sir?

>The small ratling presents his assignment papers.

>returning to the hanger, I meet up with my squad and collect the rest of the bets. now I just have to wait for someone to make a move on her

now this is going to be profitable

>>55187187
No thank you, I preffer tea. Hmm in fact
>Barrington presents thermos filled with quality recaff

>>55187152
You, you gives food
> he shows the boot filled with thrones
What can I have for this much shiny

>>55187221
Whoaa, that smells divine! Cheers!

>The small rating accepts the thermos.

Well I will be back soon, going to report in. Thanks again ummm... (waits for name).

>Meanwhile Belasya is eating some eldar food in the messhall

>>55187223
>The man turns around his tablet
>The picture on the screen is a ball of uncooked dough
This

>>55187259
But I have lots of shiny,2,3,3 hundred shiny
I go find pretty lady, she is nice to me

>>55187249
Barrington, Barrington Von Gladstone, pleasure to meet you
>Extends hand in a handshake

>>55187216
>The Elysian Commissar's eyes narrow at the diminutive abhuman before.
>Of course such a regiment would have this man abhuman present. It made sense.
>She silently wondered where she had gone wrong, to be posted to such a pathetic excuse for a regiment.
>She grabs them from his hand, and would inspect them for authenticity.
>When she could find no discrepancy amongst the various papers. She should hand them back.

...Very vell. You are to be assigned to ze third mechanised infantry company, under Major Matthias Wyvern. He shall know vot to du vith you.

>looking around, he takes a look for any of the less reputable members of the regiment

now where is vankleeze and that scribe

>>55187259
>Mirage of some unknown abomination appears
SCREEEEEEEECH
>Slap

>>55187257
Hello nice lady, what is you eating

>>55187300
Hmm, some noodles...is there anything you want?

>>55187288
>>55187216
>The young Praetorian company commander, should nod his head towards this, before extending his hand towards the Ratling sniper.

A pleasure to meet you, trooper.

>>55187313
Man say my shiny cant get me food, so I sit by you, you are nice lady

>>55187288

>Quietly, asks for a squad to be assigned to him.

>After a moment, politely offers to share his Pizza. Though, not before quickly placing a Purity seal on the box.

>>55187337
*sigh*
Okay, show me what shinies you have and maybe I can get you food

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>>55187193
>SURPRISE SNEAK ATTACK FROM BEHIND!
>A warm smile appears upon the Hospitaller's face, as she hugs the man from behind.

Good morning, Wolfe!

>She giggles, before letting go of him. Only to take a seat next to him.

How are you accustoming to the new hand and leg?

>>55187358
Yay!
> he dumps a boot full of thrones onto the table
Thank you nice lady

>>55187365

>Silently, shrugs, before offering a slice of his Pizza.

>>55187365
>Miniature mass of tentacles appears above her handing out letter
"Lunch without troubles is a good lunch"
*faint screeeching*

>>55187388
>She would frown at the shrug, before going somewhat wide-eyed at the sight of the pizza.

Where did you get that? The mess Hall is only serving meal bricks for breakfast!
>Glancing around nervously for a moment, to make sure no one was watching. she quickly takes a huge bite out of his slice.

>>55187373
Oookay
>Belasya takes the boot and leaves
>Sereval minutes later she comer back with pasta

>>55187411
Hey that's my boy Pawn
you a want a slice of this ?
>point at pizza

>>55187422

>wordlessly nods to Viktor.

>>55187422
hey sister I was wonder-

>Sees the unlady like gorging

ill uh, come back later

>>55187433
Is that food nice lady? You got the food you best lady person, what is your name nice lady? I am steve

>>55187476
Belasya

>>55187462
Hmm... I guess that's the privilege of being able to eat with the officers...

>Looking around nervously. She once more takes a massive bite out of Wolfe's slice of pizza.

>>55187484
I am steve be-las-ya, you have nice name, nice name for a nice lady

>>55187487

>Frowning, slides over the rest of the slice, before starting on what is left of the rest his Pizza.

>>55187452
>Mass of tentacles refuses
SCREEEEEECH
>>55187487
>Tentacles begin to wrap around her
>>55187513
>Another slice op pizza materializes in Wolfes hand while one he was holding is now in Illya's hand
SCREEEEEEECH

>>55187513
>>55187259
>>55187487
Hello there chaps how is it going, would you mind if I sit down and have a lunch with you?
>>55187522
>He points at a cloud of tentacles
What's this?

>Meanwhile, in a far away location that is still on the planet, but too far away for ANYONE ELSE TO BECOME INVOLVED IN! Things would be happening...
>Loud crunching noises would be heard coming from down a dimly lit hallway. Followed by the sight of a broken, mangled, and blood covered corpse, being thrown across a hallway a moment later...
>Thumping noises are heard, followed by mechanical whirling as whatever had done this, walks away.
>A zoom in on this hallway, shows the broken and mangled corpses of a half dozen Skittari warriors, as well as a broken up Castellean Robot. With no sight of the attackers.
>Again, to make it clear! This is nowhere near the regiment! Fuck off!

>>55187580
IT SEEMS TO BE A LOYAL MEMBER OF THIS REGIMENT!
SAY HELLO TO IT!

>>55187580
that"s private Notas Pawn
he... is different

>>55187580

>Nods, waving him over and offering him a slice of the Pepperoni and Tomato pizza.

>>55187522

>Utterly fails to comprehend the existence of the eldritch cloud.

>>55187604
I HEAR SOMETHING VAUGE GOING ON IN A RANDOM DIRECTION.
WE SHOULD GO OVER TO IT

>>55187613
right, so uh priest, would you be interested in raising funds for the eclesiarchy?

>he steps within arms reach

>>55187580
>Illya, having finished her slice of pizza, nods her head towards the Praetorian sniper, before letting out a cute little burp.
*Urp...!*
....Excuse me...

>>55187659
that is disgusting and un-lady like.

but that said do you want to make some money?

>>55187659
Oh it's okay Illya
>He sits down and begins eating sandwich
Tea anyone?

>>55187718

>Makes to decline before remembering his soda was swiped.

>Nods, asking politely for a portion of Tea.

>>55187659
>A mirage of an untold abomination appears and hands out a tissues
SCREEECH
>Vanishes

>>55187745
That thing was werid, right Be-las-ya?
> he turns to the eldar he has become attached to

>>55187740
>Pours some tea into the cup
Here you go chap

>>55187773

>Thanks him politely, before taking a long sip.

>>55187765
Yeah, butI try not to pay attention to it

>>55187782
Oki dokie, you are smart lady
Why are you here Be-las-ya, you no look like normal guard

>speak into the general vocal system of the ship
a tea party awaits you at 12, ladies and gentleman

>>55187807
Lost a bet

>>55187632
I WOULD IN FACT!
>holds out a bucket labelled "hospitalier medical fund"
DONATE TODAY TO PUT OUR NOBLE HOSPITALIER ON AN ACTUAL MEDICAL TRAINING COURSE AND FUND NEW MEDICAL IMPLEMENTS!

>>55187823

>Silently, places a hundred Thrones in.

>>55187821
But you smart lady, smart people dont betcha you bet for Be-las-ya

>>55187853
HOW GENEROUS!
I ASSURE YOU, THIS WILL HELP OUR DEAR MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL BECOME AN IMPERIAL MASTER OF SURGERY!

>>55187823
>the man adjusts a dial on the side of his robotic eye
Little late for that I guess.

>>55187823
um well there was a way I could suggest it, like getting thousands of thrones.

now you see, you might bless this humble ring of holiness and entertainment with your bet we can make much money for your church when you win

>>55187887
victor is it?

I need some help with a gambling ring

>>55187823
>A gaping maw manifests and throws up 30 thrones
>>55187853
>A tentacle extends from it and hands out a tissue

>>55187887
WHYEVER WOULD THAT BE VIKTOR?

>>55187821
What you bet for Be-las-ya

>>55187932
A silly drunken bet in which if I lose I will have to serve in the regiment for three months, and let's say Osiras is good at cards

>Meanwhile...
>Matthias, alongside the entirety of the Regiment's company commanders, and their command staff. Would be busy getting a earful from then Commissar, on new methods for dealing with impure minds, disciplining the men, as well as up coming plans for the campaign.

>>55187964
Oh, so you must leave after then...I will be sad when you gone, you only nice lady

>>55187975
>hearing th genarl sound of sadness, he cackles.

sucks to be a CO.

he and his team take a ride around the base, the through the hallways scaring quite a few people

>>55187992
Ehh I'll leave you a gift when I leave, you can also hang out with...Barrington fellow, he seems kinda nice

>>55188082
MOST OF US ARE NICE!
AS EXPECTED OF THE UNKNOWN REGIMENT

>>55188082
Yay! Gifts are fun! I can gift you a gift too, what would you like

>Meanwhile in Commissars room, a bunch of tentacles are rearranging her collection of...stuff
>The otherwordly creature paints it's walls in calming colours and leaves a sound recorder of how to control one's temper
>It leaves a plushy with "Be nice to fellow soldiers :)" written on it

>>55188159
I don't know, suprise me

>>55188223
But I dont know what a girl likes, they never live long enough for me to say hi

>Von Hapsburg would be sitting down on his own, twiddling his thumbs

>>55187318
And you sir!
>Ratling shakes his hand with a firm grip.

>>55187288
Thank you madam.

>>55187278
Names Ralkin, I'm a Specialist.

>Hapsburg would be thinking about family and home. He wishes he had friends in the regiment

>>55188320
>Shakes his hand
Pleasure
>>55188328
Hello there old chap, what's your name?

>>55188358
Uh... m-my name is H-heinrich von Hapsburg s-sir

>>55187318
What are our orders at the moment sir? Kinda gettin antsy to get back in thee old field. Sittin on around gettin fat & bored ain't fin to make me a better marksman. HAHAHA!

>The Ratling jokes heartily, but judging by the medals on his chest, he clearly is no rookie.

>>55188358
>With that the Ratling departs for the command tent.

>>55188372
I'm Barrington Von Gladstone!
>Extends his hand for a handshake

>Captain Smith would be discussing with his Lieutenants about tank battle tactics and formations for different land terrain, while also sipping a cup of tea.

>>55188438
N-nice to meet you s-sir
>gives the man a hesitant handshake

>Wolfe would be going through a number of basic tactics that had been neglected to have been mentioned by the Primer with a fairly large group of newly-inducted Conscripts in an attempt to keep them alive.

>Things like, 'Taking Cover', 'Aiming' and 'Advancing in Caution' were things he went over.

>>55188464
Pleasure to meet you, now tell me what you are good at?

>>55188381
>Matthias' boots could be heard clicking against the permacrete floor beneath him, as he makes his way out of the meeting room. Only to be stopped by the diminutive Ratling.

For now, we're to wait and see. I expect we'll have new orders by tomorrow morning.

>>55188689
NO NEED GOOD MAJOR!
I SHALL LEAD TO TO VICTORY THIS VERY INSTANT!
THEY WILL NEVER SEE IT COMING!

>>55188689
YE HAW

>he and his squad almost flatten the major, in stead he is simply covered in water from the bucket that missed Ren from another rider

>>55188724
....
>That isn't a very pleasant look the Major has on his face.
>In-fact.... It doesn't look angry at all. His left eye is merely twitching uncontrollably.
>Taking a deep breath. He would turn on his heels and begin to walk away.

>>55188784
>looking at the guilty rider Ren grins

well your in for the shit aren't you? whelp you better go say sorry before he has you put on mine cleaning duty

>>55188577
M-me? Good at s-something? I don't really kn-know...

>>55188784

>Interrupting the Major, confesses his worries about the newest of the Regiment's recruits.

>With a look at the nameless Guardsmen wandering about, says that with the current quality of their troops, that casualties in the next battle will be near devastating.

File: Mitsuki_Chronicles_Fatigues.png (376KB, 736x1816px) Image search: [Google]

376KB, 736x1816px

>Meanwhile, out on the airfield....
>flight Captain Sara Chambers, would be assisting a group of tech-adepts with making repairs to her Valkyrie; Blaze in Shadows.

Fuselage fully reconnected... Electronics working at 100%.... armour plates replaced.... Great job boys!

>>55188862
god fucking dammit

>>55188847
>His once spotless uniform, now drips with water as he's forced to listen to the man.
>It's rather obvious that the man wishes to have the offending trooper that did it whipped and punished. But he doesn't seem will in ng to take it out on Wolfe.

I understand where you're coming from Sergeant. Unfortunately, we don't have complete say in who the army reserves give us when we have such astonishingly high casualty rates.

Just be grateful, that they aren't under your direct command.

>>55188862
A woman who is not in the kitchen? By George!

>>55188862
WONDERFUL, WE SHALL BE TAKING THE VALKYRIE THEN.
EVERYONE, WE ARE GOING ON A HOLY QUEST TO KILL WRETCHED XENOS, ALL ABOARD.

>>55188957
Can we bring snacks too

>>55188985
YES!

>>55188957

>Groaning softly, makes his way after him an an attempt to make sure he doesn't get himself or others killed.

>Wolfe drags several Guardsmen along with him.

>>55188985
>>55188957
>Her lips would curve into an almost worried look at this.

I haven't heard about any plans for you boys to head out. Let alone anything about xenos.

>>55188943
>Sara rolls her eyes at the man. Her eyes hidden by the helmet's visor.

>>55189049
TOO BAD, THIS IS THE ASTRA MILITARUM, NOT SOME SORT OF MEMO REFINERY!
>the priest would have almost entirely filled the Valkyrie with both his bodyguards and also plasma wielding guardsmen.
COME MEN, LETS GO!

>>55189078

>Shaking his head, makes his way onboard with his squad.

>>55189049

>Gives her shoulder a sympathetic pat as he passes by.

>>55188843
Now there, everyone is good at something
And we may have an opportunity to unlock you hidded potential, follow me Tally Hoo!
>>55189078
Hey chap, have room for two more?

File: kenshiro.jpg (51KB, 299x400px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 299x400px

>>55189049
>Jesus, what a puny looking bitch. I bet she cries at the sound of gunfire
>Shinji would be smoking a cigar, looking to her from across the hangar

>>55189078
>The pilot would roll her eyes behind her helmet's visor.
>Her voice would come into through the speakers in the Valkyrie's hold.

And unfortunately for you, I'm not Astra Millitarum. Nor do I have premission to just take off, whenever the hell I want!

>>55189105
ALWAYS!
QUICK, GET ON
>>55189118
I DONT REMEMBER SAYING YOU COULD COME

>>55189118
>The man signs several forms and stamps various sheets of paper, before slapping a slip into her hand
You do now, let's go

>>55189105
Oh... o-okay...
>He'd grab his Lasgun and grenades, along with his helmet, putting it on his headc

>>55189134
I don't remember you having premission to board my Valkyrie, either. So get out, before I call the MP's!

>>55189134
>Get's inside the valkyrie
>>55189149
>Drags him inside

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>55189155
>the merry band flies anyway, her having no way to stop them.
>the gang attempts to fly the Valkyrie with no training for almost no reason

>>55189209
>And, depsite her being in the cockpit when this happened, she is somehow thrown out, and replaced by the Priest.
>Moments later, the Valkyrie, and all those aboard it, find themselves having crashed inside a magma river three hundred feet away, and burning alive.

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>55189209
No you need to put it in gear first, watch this
>the man grabs the control stick

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>55189209
>Rolling to re-gain control of the Valkyrie in a rish of adrenaline

>>55189245
AH GOOD JOB, GET US OUT OF THIS MAGMA WILL YOU?

>Having fallen out of the transport when it took off due to the door never having been closed.

>He lays there, a mild pain in his back, a look of resign on his face.

>>55189258
Oh woah look we got out of the lava isn't this magical.

>>55189245
>>55189258
Great job chaps! Now...where do we go?

>>55189302
INDEED!
>>55189318
WE SHOULD GO AND HUNT SOME FILTHY XENOS!
WHY NOT GO INTO A HIGHLY SECURE ALIEN ANTI AIR EMPLACEMENT?

>Just sits there, frowning. Even when Heinrich does something good,he is ignored.

>>55189359
>Pats him on the back
You did good chap!

>>55189359
HEINRICH, GET ME A RECAF!

>>55189376
>>55189383
>puts my lasgun barrel into my mouth, closing my eyes

>>55189440
I NEVER KNEW THAT THIS WAS HOW THEY MADE RECAF!

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>55189440
>Etherial mass of tentacles attempts to take his las

>>55189440
>leans over the pilots chair, taking his eyes off the sky
If you're gonna do that can you at least fill out the paperwork first?

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>fuck it, I'd pull the pin of a frag grenade, putting it in my mouth
>Rolling for explosion radius

Rolled 3, 11 = 14 (2d20)

>>55189529
>rolling to wound myself and the Valkyrie in reverse order

So the priest just stole and crashed a valkyre.
The ecclesiastical folks sure make us adeptus mechanicus Look sane

>>55189598
>over the vox
NO!
WE HAVE PAPERWORK, ALL OF THIS IS ABOVE BOARD!

>>55189598
>She would be rubbing her cheek.

They slapped me, and stole my vehicle... Without any premission....

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>rolling to see how bad the Valkyrie is damaged

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>55189645
>>55189598
do either of you need assistance in recovering the valkery that landed in the magma flow?

>>55189645
Want some amasec? I find the only way to understand the ecclesiarcy is to be drunk enough for them to make sense.>>55189631
NO YOU DON'T. AND I'M NOT DRUNK ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH YOU

I back, got lost I did, didn't find boots

>>55189684
can I have some of that amnesiac magos? me and my boys are going to be having a laugh at jerry when he apologises to the major.

and driving drunk is fun

Sure

>>55189807
thanks, fancy watching? or do you want to make bets on what those idiots will die offirst, the ship or the commissar. I got tickled *ahem* LASHED for a few stray words, what about them?

>>55189841
I think I will sit here and wait if any survivors make it back and need medical attention

Rolled 27, 37 = 64 (2d100)

>>55189668
>the priest would continue his merry way trying to find lone tau patrols out in the magma fields
>roll for flight and searching

>>55189874
What I miss shiny man, where is Be-las-ya, is she ok?

>>55189874
your loss my friend, but if they have any spare money, be sure to come make a bet with me

>the 5 bikers attempt to find the major

>>55189901
I don't know I suspect she's fine

>>55189901
hey sir, would you like to make a bet with us?

>>55189980
Uh, bet for what, I dont know if I should, should I?

>>55189907
>Matthias would make his way out of his room when he had heard about the theft.
>Apparently his Regiment's priest, was responsible for theft if a naval asset, assault upon a naval officer, and desertion...
>The Commissar was going to have someone's head for this. That was for fucking sure.

>>55189895
>While he doesn't find Tau, or pilot very well, he comes, well crashes near an abandoned opera

>>55190009
>a loud banging can be heard from a nearby locker

>>55190008
sure you should, would you like to bet any money or equipment on chance?

>>55190009
hello sir, I belive someone wants to speak with you

>the 4 members of the squad look to the red faced and fearfull 5th member

jerry: ummmm I'm s-sorry I threw water on you.....sir

>the rest of the squad drinks something probably not healthy and enjoy the sadistic act of a scout vs a major

>>55190009

>Sort of shows up, a terrible pain in his back.

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>55190020
GOOD SHOW CHAPS, NOW LETS INVESTIGATE!

>>55190042
>Matthias would stare the trooper down for a long, silent moment.
>When he finally spoke, it was with a loud sigh.

... It's fine... But the next time it, or anything similar happens. You'll be spending a week in "the box", before being lashed. Am I clear.

>>55190042
>he looks at his money boot, still half full
What I get out of this biker man

>>55190101
>He sees many different shadows going around, dancing
>A it's centre and humanoid figure is standing, singing forgotten melody

File: images (3).jpg (9KB, 189x267px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 189x267px

>>55190020
Oh goodness I do love the opera

>>55190108
>he is rather confused but happy about getting off lightly.

>he fails to notice that the other bikers had disabled his breaks

jerry: thank you sir

>And most of them ride off while Ren talks with steve

>>55190115
well you see, you can get MORE money, or anything you want providing you win and it is of equal value

>>55190133
>I beat it off with a broom

blood cannon imperial characters, they pop up where they are not needed or wanted

shoo

>>55190133
Ah FULGRIM!
Long fucking time long fucking see!
Anyway, I disposed of the other priest and locked him in the locker, as ordered.
What exactly am I to do now?

>>55190149
> he thinks long and hard
What we bet on biker man

>>55190155
Hold a party of course!

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>55190179
OF COURSE, HOW COULD I FORGET!
>Michael would trigger the lights
>roll for dance

File: kinda hot.png (841KB, 809x403px) Image search: [Google]

841KB, 809x403px

>>55190149
>beating off Fulgrim

Rolled 99, 82 = 181 (2d100)

>Meanwhile Belasya is playing chess with Barrington
>Roll for who's winning

Rolled 54 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>55190196
https://youtu.be/N9xDAk1W248
Dance off time!
> cue glitter bombs and disco balls
> rolling for dance skills

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>55190222
WELL LOOK AT THIS!

>>55190213
Biker man wants me to bet with him Be-las-ya, help me, what do I do

Rolled 92 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>55190232
Check my style!

>>55190241
Hmm, what are you betting on?
Checkmate Barrington
Barrington:Ah well good game

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>55190247
GAH, YOUR MOVES...
THEY ARE TOO GOOD!
BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>55190269
ONLY MY FATHER CAN OUT DANCE ME!

>>55190256
Um, I asked him and he no answer, I don't want to lose bet, losing bets is bad right

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>55190282
GAH, ITS NOT POSSIBLE!
>roll to summon the emperor through dance

>>55190222
So would anyone l-like to explain why I just woke up in a crashed Valkyrie, walked across *cough* seven klicks of magma field with a p-pounding headache, *wheeze* and am now faced with some sort of perverse, heretical disco? Because I'd really like to know.

>>55190286
Go and ask him what you are betting on then come back
Another round Barrington?
Barrington:Certainly

>>55190169
well since its probably your first time betting, lets make it easy

now, what will happen if jerry cant slow down and hes doing 100 kmph in an imperial base?

you tell me what you think and how much your betting and if you win, then you get the money doubled or the equipment you betted plus more.

if you loose then I take the money and/or the betted equipment

so what do you think will happen? will he crash and get hurt or will he get out unharmed?

>>55190313
>Ethereal shrug
>A letter apears
"Wanna get back to base?"

>>55190313
THE EMPEROR IS A LIE AND IM NOT REALLY THE PRIEST!
NOW DANCE OR DIE

>>55190302
FOOL YOU NEVER STOOD A CHANCE! AND YOUR ATTEMPT TO SUMMON MY FATHER TO HAVE HIM BEAT ME IS PATHETIC!>>55190313
How is disco heretical?

>>55190324
>>55190317
Uh, what do I do Be-las-ya that person will crash right

>>55190317
Excuse me but the orgyn was looking for you earlier

>>55190350
okay and what are you betting?50 thrones? 5 pairs of boots?

>>55190369
Uh, I bet my boots, I have uh, two, four, six I bet six boots

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>55190398
well then my good sir, you will get if you win 2 more pairs, and a half empty or half full las rifle.

lets see how he does

[1-50 he falls off, 51-100 he gets off unhurt]

>>55190426
>crashingand rolling, two others rush forward on their own machines to help him out

MAGOS GELT WE NEED SOME FIRE MEDICATION.

>the bike was fine minus some fire damage and a burning handle bars

well sir here are your winnings

>he hands over the las and 4 boots

>>55190358
>more furious banging on the wardrobe

>>55190471
Did I win?

>>55190509
you won very well. care to make another bet later?

if so you know where to find us

Rolled 87, 43 = 130 (2d100)

>Belasya and Barrington are still playing chess

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>55190329
Nah, m-mysterious postman. Might as well *cough* see how this shitshow finishes.

>>55190333
Uh, alright. Lemme show you some a' the moves I learned in the clubs on Armageddon.
>rolling for funky moves

>>55190337
It is when you're in it, ya *wheeze* potential hallucination. I've raided enough underhive c-cult dens to recognise ya.

>>55190471
Don't worry I'm a medicae
Now let's apply some burn cream and skin grafts
>>55190494
> stomping over the nagos opens the container
What is that noise!

>>55190520
Yay! Belasya i won! Yay!
> he hugs the eldar again, lifting her off the ground

>>55190554
AT LAST, I HAVE BEEN TRAPPED IN HERE FOR HOURS!
TECHPRIEST, WHAT DAY IS IT!

>>55190541
> Belasya is pulled away from the game by the happy orgyn's hug

>>55190571
Uhh the day a guy who looked like you stole a vallyis and crashed it I'n a magma flow

File: Pawn.jpg (12KB, 226x301px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 226x301px

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>55190549
>Shrug
SCREEEEEEEECH
>Pawn decides to join in and manifests in his humanoid self
>Roll for dancing

>>55190549
Why would the emperor's most fabulous son be heretical? Now then you can't dance very well can you. Here take this sword fencing it's more fun than dancing and you might suck less at it

>>55190608
>the false Michael dies immiediately upon seeing the truly immaculate display

>>55190596
Aaaargh
What, what happened?
>She looks down
Oh...here, here, good boy
>She awkwardly pets him

>>55190608
> the primarch lets loose a single manly tear. Deeply moved by the dance skills

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>55190608
>a single tear rolls down the soldier's cheek at the sight of the most magnificent dancing he's ever seen

>>55190630
>he takes the sword
I warn you, I've shivved many a fucker in d-dark alleyways. This is basically *cough* the same, right? En garde!
>rolling

>>55190641
> he places Belasya down
Thank you belasya, your a great friend, I follow you now

>>55190685
Y-yes, good...*cought*

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>55190663
> van kleez tries to stab the primarch
> he drops it
> the primarch puts a giant hand on van kleez's back
Let me give you some Lessons on how to fence
> rolling for quality of teaching

>>55190700
Lead way friend, I help you if need, lets go

>>55190718
>although the lessons are rigorous, Van Kleez is strangely attentive and focused, absorbing all the master has to offer
>by the end, he would rank among the finest swordsmen in the imperium
Ah, so you hold the sword THAT way round. Yeah, that m-makes a lot more sense. Thanks, uh, Fulgrim. You're not s-such a bad guy, if we ignore the whole *cough* 'unforgivable betrayal' thing.

>>55190733
Yes, sure...I don't really need anything, I'm just gonna go and read a magazine in a shade you can...dunno go and look at your boots. I'll call you when I need help, okay

>>55190800
>somewhere, somehow, Michael was sensing great heresy going on and was screaming internally

>>55190800
I have no idea what your taking about son

>>55190800
>Clapping
SCREEEEEEEECH

>>55190800

sergent van kleez, I need a word with you

>>55190805
I follow you, guard, I am good guard,good guard for a good friend

>>55190846
Okay...
>Belasya sits down in a shade and reads "Craftworld weekly"

>>55190819
>he turns to looks at the towering figure
>maybe the drugs cloud his vision, but he... doesn't see any profane symbols on the great man's armour
...Nah, don't worry about it.

>>55190825
>he bows
Thank you, *wheeze* thank you.

>>55190830
Hm? Sure, f-fire away.
>he makes to follow the biker

>>55190910
> about 20ft away Steve stands still, watching his surroundings in order to protect his eldar friend

>>55190954
now how would you propose, to sponsor and maybe participate in a certain entertainment ring and maybe work on making sure the results are.....agreeable to the right people?

>>55190954
Well i need to go but I'll be keeping my eye on your extremely promising talents
> head ruflle
Here's my card in case you ever feel like joining the emperor's children

>>55190910
You know your the third eldar I know of b to join this
We've already had a commerite and a corsair so you compete the tridecta

>>55191128
Corsair, wasn't his name Osiras by any chance?

>>55191128
WHAT WAS THAT GELT?
NOTHING... HERETICAL I HOPE?

>>55191140
Hey chap, where did you fly to? That pilot is furious right now

>>55191138
Don't remember>>55191140
I SAID I THINK SHE'S THE THIRD MEMEMBER IF HER EXTENDED FAMILY TO JOIN THE REGIMENT

>>55190980
>he grins behind his mask
Well, that s-sounds like the sorta thing *wheeze* I'd be interested in. Keep talkin'.

>>55190998
>he disappears the card into his coat
Thanks s-sir, I'll, uh, keep it in mind.
>he quietly glows with pride

>>55191140
Heretical? Gelt? Whyever wouldya think that? *cough*