Grundys barkeep

>>55182723
Got any of that Dwarven brandy lying around? I've been eating nothing but hardtack for five days and I could use something to dissolve it before I give birth to a 20lb turdbabby.

>>55182723
*Sigh* Times are tough.

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>>55182723
I say good sir, this establishment is simply DISGUSTING!
There are mushrooms growing in the wine bottles. Sealed wine bottles! How can you even get mushrooms to grow in a sealed wine bottle? I'm reasonably certain that some of the chairs in here are held together by nothing more than the snot and earwax of your patrons. Why, I even saw a man eating scrambled eggs from a shoe! A SHOE, MAN! Don't you have plates for them to eat off of? There are even BARNACLES hanging from the stove in your kitchen, for gods sake. Barnacles are normally found underwater, not in a kitchen! Don't even get me started on the state of your lavatory. There are not even demons would use that blighted thing you would call a toilet.

How in the nine gods do you even stay in business? What kind of unholy contract did you have to sign to be able to stay open?

>>55182796
Grundy looks blankly at you, his deep glare seems to be judging your very soul, but then ducks below the counter and pops right back up with a small keg of Dwarven Brandy, not the best, but you defiantly have had worse.

>>55182906
*nods* mmmm-hmmmm, ever since the the Anti brew empire took over the place hooch has became ever more dangerous to distribute

>>55182947
5 coin for whoever gets this mud fuck outta 'ere

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>>55182947
>There are mushrooms growing in the wine bottles. Sealed wine bottles! How can you even get mushrooms to grow in a sealed wine bottle?
Simple stupid, it's mushroom wine. Ain'tcha never heard o' dwarven wine? where d'ya think dem dwarves get dem grapes? Ain't no grapes under da ground. Ya make em with 'shrooms!

>I'm reasonably certain that some of the chairs in here are held together by nothing more than the snot and earwax of your patrons.
Lessee you keep a buncha fancy chairs n' stools in a bar fer long after a few fights ya long ear'd pansy.

>Why, I even saw a man eating scrambled eggs from a shoe! A SHOE, MAN! Don't you have plates for them to eat off of?
Listen feller, we ain't got none of dem fine china you elf boys are so fond of. We eats wit what we got. But him? well, he ain't never been right in da head after he got a hoof to his noggin. Told dat boy he shouldn'ta been foolin around with Mrs. fitzs prize heifer...

>There are even BARNACLES hanging from the stove in your kitchen, for gods sake. Barnacles are normally found underwater, not in a kitchen!
Psh, Dem ain't barnacles! Ain't you elf boys ever seen a damn snail? Dat's fine eaten' right dere. Like eaten' your own snot, but it's mighty tasty! 'Specially when da cook uses summa dat spicy cheese in em. Put some hair on dat chest of yers.

>Don't even get me started on the state of your lavatory. There are not even demons would use that blighted thing you would call a toilet.
I thought you elf boys crap in dem trees! We may not be fancy 'ere, but we use an outhouse jus' like everybody else. Jus' cus Big Jenny used it last don't mean ya can't use it. Course, Big Jenny ain't kindly to any toilet. WHEW!

>How in the nine gods do you even stay in business? What kind of unholy contract did you have to sign to be able to stay open?
>5 coin for whoever gets this mud fuck outta 'ere
a'ight! *spits* yer comin' wit me, stranger. Ain't no elf-boy insults my favorite bar.

>>55183097
Could'ya get me a cup o' somethin' harsh, friend? And throw in a bit o' sour if ye would, one of em lemons if you have any. Oh, and would ya mind fillin' this bag with ice, I need somethin' fer this lump on the back of my head.

>>55182723
One of your famous "Pants", Solomon.

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Grundy! Don't let anyone order bacon. It's off.
So's chicken, pheasant and poultry in general. Partridge is alright so long as all they want is bones.
And forget desert; cat got into the milk again.

>>55182723
Do you have any kumis available? It's been so long since I've had a taste of home.

>>55184930
Is the mutton alright?
I could go for some stew.

>>55185647
No mutton. No venison either with the king's new anti-poaching laws.
Weevils in the bread. And someone left the door open last night and someone ducked out with a few bottles of Limbert's Best, so that's out. *hic*.

>>>/qst/

>>55185849
Is this just going to turn into that one play I saw with the shopkeeper saying they don't sell any food in the food shop? Because if it is, I'll really feel like shooting someone, and I don't have my crossbow on me.

>>55185869
This thread's just some roleplay shit. Stop being so paranoid and let us have some fun.

>>55182723
sigh... *sits in the corner* nobody here understands my pain.... what i've been throuh,,
*melds with shadows*

>>55185994
Heh
*teleports behind shadows*
Nuthin personnel
*stabs shadows with special anit-magical anti-shadow katana*

>>55185994
>>55186011

Hold it; shadow's off. Got too many glints in it. I'd stay away from the light too, it's looking a bit shady.