Meanwhile on Dragon /tg/...

>>55179902
I just want more dragon on humanoid beastiality. I hate scalies, they just have to add more or mixing shit together.

>Dirty Chromies aren't shiny
>Smell Bad
>Some even spit acid
>Hoard Gold and Don't even use it?
>Don't even do anything until Tiamat tells them to get off their asses

When did you first realize Chromatics are degenerate NEETs

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Now I can understand that there are many /d/ragons here, myself included, but who the hell started fucking frogs?

>>55180572
I believe that's a magically mutated monstrosity, the extra eyes and nubs are indicative of one. So I don't think that is the result of degeneracy. That being said, I wouldn't put it past a Black to do something like that.

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I'm currently working with a band of lordless knights, they're such great servants. They not only respect me, but actually think I'm a great dragon! I've started paying them, given them a home in my lair, sometimes I even grab a couple cows from a farm for feasts. Life is good.

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>tfw you fuck your sister

>>55179902
>Be about 70 years ago.
>Raiding and plundering, looking for mementos to add to my lair.
>Sack a dwarven city, Konax something or other.
>Haul was shit.
>Find out that one of the dwarves has sworn revenge
>Forged a magical sword, designed to not just kill dragons, but to kill me in specific, although it apparently has some virtue against lizards in general.
I want to get rid of this thing, but I don't want to go near it. What's a good way of suckering some adventurers to wreck it?

>>55180778
Dump parts of your hoard into the city.
Employ adventurers and say the Dwarves robbed you and killed your brother, watch the fireworks.
It should work.

>>55180778
Claim that it is capable of being reforged into a stronger word if it is disenchanted and the remains are enhanced by some random mcguffin.
>>55180811
This is rather risky, I'd advise against it.

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>>55179902
>>55180718

Anyone got any suggestions on how to find a draconic employer in the first place?

The Crowns around these parts don't pay very well, what with the decades of war and pillage n'all that, but every time I put out a classified, the damn typesetters think I meant dragOOn. Now I have more mounted infantry (and some confused heavy cavalry) than I know what to do with.

P.S. I'd prefer if the dragon isn't a Calvinist, you'd think a sect of merchants would be less stingy with payment, but noooo.

>>55179902

I maintain a cult of humans who worship me as their God. It is quite profitable, and they are much better than Kobolds and the like.

>>55180955
Hi, I posted >>55180718
Its all luck, but to up your chances go for young ones that recently lost servants, they'll likely be as desperate as I was.

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>tfw you get too drunk in your human form and get too close to the barmaid

Maybe once they put up him up for adoption, I'll try to give my half-human son a decent life

>>55181157
I wish you the best draganon.

>be me
>be red dragon
>be actually nice guy because raised by silver dragon
>no one trusts me though
>50 years ago some asshole gold dragon visits
>"Hey I'm gonna go fuck up that city in like a year or something, want in?"
>nowayfag.scroll
>"whatever"
>he flies away
>worry about city because I don't like watching people die
>decide to warn city

>get to city and ask to see the duke
>the duke refuses to see me
>whatever.partchment
>tell them anyways that a gold dragon is going to attack next year
>immediately get shot at with arrows
>doesn't really hurt, I pride my hide over all else
>tell them to stop
>"Or what?"
>didhereallyjustsaythat.scroll
>I won't help you when the golden fag comes a knocking
>"You can't fool us, vile wyrm!"
>whatever

>get back to lair and sleep
>wake up to find some adventurers in my place
>fuck off I'm sleeping
>"We come to slay you, beast!"
>don't really feel like fighting them, probably hired by town
>give them a some stupid enchanted shit that looks like shit
>as they leave I, hear the distinct sound of another dragon
>tell them to have fun
>watch as golden shit bag sacks town
>mercs are only survivors of note

The mercs came back later and apologized for being assholes, asked if I should help them kick goldfags ass. Should I do it? As much as I would like to say no, I want kick goldies sparkly ass.
Wat do?

>>55181172
Go with them and kill the guy, but give them the cold shoulder and refuse to speak much.

>>55181172
I'll take "things that never happened" for 50000 gp, Aelxeax

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>>55179902
I was sent to kill a Dragon but I don't really have anything against worms and I have a fetish for shapeshifters.

What is thine supposed to do?

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>Humans don't accept me because I am scaled as fuck with spikes around my head
>Dragonborn don't accept me because I can barely understand their draconic or deal with their clan bullshit
>Scared of meeting my dragon dad on how he will receive me

Why do I even exist

>>55181237
Because barmaids are hot, and even dragons can get drunk with enough booze.

>>55181234
Let him fuck your boipussy

>>55181172
Join them in killing sparkle fag, but make sure to give them new enchanted weapons and armor. If you win and they don't turn on you, congrats, you have some new allies. If they turn on you however, you know those enchanted items you gave them? Make those items turn on them and tear them apart.

Happy hunting.

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>>55179902
We seem to discuss nothing but mortals. Look, I took a mortal for a fucking mate, but let's talk about something else for once.

How about we talk about some of our most prized treasures in our hordes or even things we're willing to trade for?

For me? I'm a bookwyrm, and probably my favorite tome is actually sort of a 'homemade' book I made. It's a collection of all the pages I've managed to collect on the Pnakotic Manuscripts into a single volume!

I'm still working on translation, this language is older than many of our own ancestors if you can believe it.

>>55182714

I'm afraid I have no parts nor pages of the Pnakotic Manuscripts, or I would perhaps offer them for trade as I have no interest. I could of course send out my servants to collect them, but seeing as I keep them illiterate as part of ensuring they remain beholden to me, I think they would probably screw it up. I may perhaps have other tomes that would interest you however. Are there any in particular you are looking for? I do have in my collection the entirety of the library of Astoth, taken by one of my former champions when he pillaged it's famed ebony towers 2 centuries past.

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Stay out of my part of the forests.

>>55182872
And just where in the nine hells is that? Give us a frame of reference here!

>>55182767
Do not laugh, but arithmatic texts. I'm tired of using my own gold pieces to explain mathematics to my child and for them to try to steal the coins.

She gets too easily bored with stones.

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>>55182872
Fuck off entfag, your forest still stands by our mercy alone. Give us any more lip and I'll burn down every tree and treefolk in a hundred mile radius of anywhere you've ever shit.

>>55183080
No.
>>55183086
I do not shit, but I do know that you're talking it.

>>55183080

Arithmetic texts I have aplenty. What offer you in trade? Have you perchance any fine mannish breeding stock? I could use some fresh blood for the herd.

>>55183126
Look, I'm asking because I live on a heavily forested mountain and I don't quite like setting fire to the woods because they keep my lair well concealed.

Look, are you in the Greenwall mountain range?

>>55183181
I have mostly kobolds. Carr to share specifics and I might be able to arrange something.

Or I could give you some alchemy textbooks.

>>55183301
Yes.
Any damage to rival Ent forests is okay.
Just don't hurt my part of the forest.

Hey /dragon/, /hu/ here

I'm the duchess of a small little city (About 300 humans) out in the middle of nowhere

I've recently found out that my vizier Jarls is actually the silver dragon that's been showing up demanding tribute

What do?

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Nice to see some more Dragons around here.

>>55183609
Well how much is he demanding and how much can you afford?

>>55183312
I just said I have little interesting tion of trashing the woodlands. I might. Ot be a Green Dragon but I respect the obscurity the woods provide.

Not to mention the food.

>>55183631
So how goes your conquests of the multiverse?

>>55180873
This guy has a good idea, I like it

>>55183721
Yes.
I too devour the dead.
This green dragon.
I will make him dead.

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i may have fucked up

>want a new place to crash, previous was getting cramped and all the people had left anyways
>find nice ruined city
>turns out theres some cult worshipping demons or some shit
>big nigger balor says its his
>merc the shit
>now the humans worship me as their new go

how do i make them leave?

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>>55184190
Statement: You don't.
Query: Why not roll with it? After all, humans will go to extreme lengths with their religious fervor.

>>55184421
statement: because i have things to do, and i would rather do them without observation or commentary- which is the precise reason i chose a remote ruined city for my new lair
query: how easy is it to train humans? are they intelligent enough to learn to obey basic commands?

>>55184190
This >>55184421
Having a cult on standby to do shit for you is handy, and if they can summon demons, you can either use those as footsoldiers or as fuel for whatever grand magicks you seek to cast.

>>55184421
>are they intelligent enough to learn to obey basic commands
yes, but you have to make clear that your basic commands are actually basic commands and not cryptic messages of your vision and will

>>55183609
Does this dragon go by the name of Asmarus while he's acting all big for his scales, by any chance? If so, I wouldn't bother. Guy has built up a reputation for going around from city to city, pulling the exact same stunt, but he's too much of a wyrmlet to keep a handle on any of it.

Let me know if he keeps pestering you, in fact. I may or may not happen to know a few other nobles who've been on the recieving end of his auroch shit and wouldn't say no to a chance for some payback.

>>55179902
game?

>>55184559
why not
What system would we use for all-dragon game? I imagine it'd get a bit clumsy with D&D

>>55180408
You're a man of refined taste, anon.

>>55184562
>What system would we use for all-dragon game?
You know, there's a setting called Council of Wyrms for AD&D-

>I imagine it'd get a bit clumsy with D&D
... yeah.

>>55183086
>burn every tree
>air becomes toxic
>die because retarded dragon

>>55185852
The dragon does not know this.
It would be funny seeing him choke to death after he burns my forests, his red throat slowly turning blue and his proud face becoming fearful and desperate.
That'll teach him to stay out of my part of the forest.

>>55185852
>he cant cure poison
what kind of mage cant do that?

>>55186092
STAY OUT OF MY SWAMP

>>55186678
KEEP YOUR SPORES OUT OF MY RUINS

also, i will be taking those corpses you are hoarding there, its so unfair really- you dont even do anything with them

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Hello?? HEY!

Ancient dragon god here! STILL sealed down here in the center of the earth by that DICK-ASS human god's Spears of Light!

Why haven't any of you fuckers came to get these damned needles out of my godly flesh yet???
I've been here for 100,000 YEARS!
Still here.
Still sealed.

Waiting. Always. Would be nice to get unsealed, you know. Reeeeeeeaaaally nice.

>adventurers on my mountain
>polymorph to spy on them
>typical stuff, but one great thing caught my eye
>their holy man is a gnome in shiny colors
>a follower of Glittergold
>finally a chance to truly entertain
>pitfall them into my labyrinth
>give them the typical spiel
>make it through and be rewarded handsomely
>they get lost and have a little trouble but make it to the center
>maybe it should be harder
>eh, I'll work on that
>some roc's all prepared
>gnome's all smiles, great jokes and stories are shared
>others are uneasy but get into it
>big party, think I had a fling with the one with the rapiers
>drop some of my blood into the gnome's as thanks
>bring them the head of the cyclops they were her to kill
Sure do hope some more show up. Maybe I'll drop some flyers about big rewards for killing some fake creature down at the nearest city. Any advice for that?

>>55190049
Because you and any other so-called god of dragons is part of an old paradigm we've moved past. At least we should.

I do not doubt your hand in our origins, but for the modern dragon, each of us must be a good unto themselves.

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>>55190049
yeah i would but, you know. center of the earth. sounds a bit far to be honest. tell you what i'll see that someone meet you, say, half-way? in about 25'000 years? sounds good?

>>55190148
Besides, we can always threaten everybody we are going to release the old geezer whenever we feel like upping the ante. If we actually did release him (as if we knew how), the world would end and I think most of us are kind of fond of it.

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>>55182714
You are such a nerd, I bet even mortals make fun of you.

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>>55190049
I want to help you, but I don't think I can survive in the center of the earth yet.
Give me a few more decades please.

>>55191127
Well, not to say I'm Keen on ending the world but that's why you work on contingency planning.

>>55191194
I am a huge nerd. My nerdiness is such that it creates a gravitational pull around me and has bound my mate to me.

How well as grunting and banging rocks gone for getting you laid?

>>55191999
>bound my mate to me.
having kobolds suck your dick doesent mean much

White (Dragon) Power. No force can stand against our white race!

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>>55179902
who /humanny/ here?

>>55192074
disgusting

kill yourself

fucking humanfags

elves on the other hand

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>>55192074
Well, maybe a little.

>>55190049
Because Bahamut is the only true dragon god, Blasphemer

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Who else has a kid?
This little fuck is making me so proud! He killed some cows the other day and during it, he burped out fire. Love this kid.

>>55190049
Which Earth? I don't want to smash one for nothing.

Most storytimes I've seen have been done by players rather than GMs.

And when it comes to long storytimes that span many posts or even threads, I don't think I've ever seen one done by the GM.

Have you guys seen many storytimes done by GMs?

If you believe like I do that most seem to be told by players, why do you think that is?

I think part of it may be that it is easier to tell the events of a game as a story fig you experience it from the perspective of one character at a time instead of The perspective of managing many characters and events going on at once.
(Though for stories that about the conduct of a player instead of the events of the game this is less of an issue)

Another contributing factor is the majority of games have multiple players and only 1 GM so the odds are in favor of a person storytiming something from a game being a player if storytiming does indeed happen.

What do you think?

>55190049
Demon's Souls is the best *Souls game of all time.

OF ALL TIME!!

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>>55191306
Would you by chance need a book for that? I do have various religious tomes in my library if you're willing to trade.

>>55192074
I'm pretty comfortable with my current self, thank you.

>>55192306
I have one I've mentioned earlier. She's a fast learner but even being a fraction of even my wife's size she's an amazing handful for a full grown dragon, plus a dwarven architect, a human princess, said princess' mother and sister, and a whole tribe of kobolds.

I won't deny it, I love the little brat to bits.

Hey dragon /tg/. It's me, the halfbreed. I took some advice from the last thread I was in. Been wandering for some time now among the mortals. Loads of them are as obnoxious as ever but I've found quite a few gems hidden away among them all. I've been speaking with them at great lengths, filling their minds with wisdom and tales from ages forgotten or lost from record, stoking a fire in their hearts and bellies. I keep telling myself that I am only doing this to fill that lonesome void inside of me, maybe even find a good dragoness to nest with. Yet after having traveled mountains, valleys, dales, seas, leagues upon leagues after yet more leagues of land, I still feel so distant.

I seem to have acquired a few companions in my journey. A small following that would see what they are convinced to be an old blind storyteller through until the end of his days. I find them watching over me while I rest disguised among them, tending to small needs and one of them has taken to recording my stories. So far I have not caught wind of any potential mates and I am loathe to laying with the humans and elfs that are constantly surrounding me. After all it's hard to enjoy the act with something that is almost as big as my "steel",

Should I keep searching, leading this group onwards to new towns and cities? Should I just give up and vanish without a trace, leaving them behind? I would seek your advice once more.

>Be me, faerie dragon
>Trying to join local flight of dragons
>"No way, pipsqueak"
>Half of them mistake me for a wyrmling or a pseudodragon
>Fucking half-mortals allowed to join but I'm not
Fuck you chromatic, metallic, and gem dicks. I'm just as dragon as anyone.

>>55193503
>fucking fae
go and prance in the meadows or something you faggot

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>>55179902
Lately I've been chilling out in the Dwarven mountains. Surprisingly dwarves are pretty cool with draconic overlords provided they behave in a regular and predictable manner and don't just try to steal everything right off the bat, keeps greedier dragons away and such. Anyway, I've been getting carts of gold and gems monthly however one day they requested a month delay in order to provide a treasure that would "sate me for years to come". I was interested and went with it but there was no way I could have been ready for what they made.

They have constructed "For my pleasure and entertainment" a fully functioning, autonomous, gold plated with silver decal, and notably anatomically correct female draconic golem. It's just sitting in my antechamber now. Waiting for orders and looking at me with eyes made of colored glass whenever I walk by.

How am I supposed to feel about this?

>>55193922
Tell them it's an impressive suit of armor, but you can't figure out how to put it on.

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>>55194064
The thing came with a fucking manual. Literally a fucking manual. By Tiamat it was bound in unicorn leather and written in some of the most beautiful draconic script I have ever read. There were pictures and diagrams.

>>55193457
So, nothing is connecting with you and the group then? Perhaps that's because you're keeping up so many barriers, I mean, it sounds like they enjoy you a bit.

Perhaps, you should ask them for a story, just learn more about them. You're doing that creepy 'Distant Watcher on the Horizon' thing.

>>55193503
Trying to join a flight of dragons is fruitless unless you want to spend hours dick-waving at one another, and we are quite prone to insularity.

Perhaps find other faerie dragons though if you need companionship, if you want someone to watch your back, try to pick up fey-blooded followers like elves.

>>55193922
I-... I don't think I have advice for this.

To be honest, were I you, I'd feel just a little insulted, really.

I can see what they're trying to do, because dwarves see a well-crafted gift as the pinnacle token of fondness and respect.

But, just the idea of them making a sex toy feels... off-putting.

>>55179902
I sure do love fucking cars. I don't know what it is about those sexy little automobiles that makes me want to stick my BDC into their tight exhaust ports.

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>Tfw the Kobolds start decorating the caves with gold

>>55194366
That animation was really impressive for what it was.

You guy's know that some of us fuck gold? What a bunch of fucking weirdos, right?

I'm new to the hobby so please go easy on me. I'm playing 333.5 of Villages and Paladins with some friends. I wanted to play 500e, but my friend's started playing centuries ago and they don't like any of the updated material. I decided to roll a short human (not the mountain ones, but the hairy feet ones) and I'm nervous about playing a character with an alien mindset. How do you play as someone that doesn't think ora act anything like you? I don't want to just play as a really, really stupid dragon that is really, really weak and pretend I'm not just playing a transformed dragon. Any tips? I'm willing to read a tome on humanoids if there's a good introductory one out there.

>>55192206
You meant Zebukiel, right?

>>55184442
Humans are kinda tricky creatures. You treat them well and they may reciprocate, but it depends also on how indispensable they consider you, kind of group... I find them incredibly helpful but if you're not willing to learn how take care of them i wouldn't bother

>>55193503
Why don't you go playing with the other fluttering insects? At least they won't hurt your feefees

>>55194444
Reading some tomes on humanoid conduct and culture will help you out

>>55193922
Just... wait a few hundred years before you ask for a tithe. Trust me when I say this, dwarves are just as stubborn and greedy as us in some cases and with they money they make, I would expect some high ranking adventurers.

live with it for a time. Maybe cover it up with something if it bothers you. By all things draconian, those dwarves are some next level builders if they could make a golem like that.

>>55193922
>>55194242
if they went through so much trouble to make a present like that maybe there's some use for that thing spart from the obvious ones. i guess the instructions could give you an idea of what it can do

>>55194376
Your kobolds must love you, man.

>>55194434
Yeah, that's WAY beyond weird. I mean, I love my gold but that's just...

Spooge tarnishes everything.

>>55180646
>current year
>not fucking frogs

You have to go back.

>>55198162
I care about them too much honestly, but when those cute little guys and gals push in a box of jewelry and coins, I can't help but give them a ring or amulet. The way thier face lights up and they start thanking you, it warms my heart.

>>55194242
It's nice that there's a manual for reference, but come on. Who of us have time to curl up and read something like that? The least those kinky little bipeds can do is tell you how your new toy works.

>>55195633
I know a red who did this with some humans. When she finally went calling to remind her clients to resume their annual tribute, they turned on her. In retaliation, she laid waist to the entire village burning everything that moved to ash. When I asked her how long she waited, she replied that it had been half a century to the day. After a hearty chuckle, I told her that the average human lifespan was only about 40 years, and the humans she killed probably didn't even know who she was.

The moral of the story is twofold. First, establish a date for resumption of your tribute even if it is far into the future. Second, visit your clients periodically. Make sure the younger generations know your visage as both fearsome and propitious.

how do i lure qt adventurers to my lair

>>55198830
Simplest method is go wreck shit. Better yet forget adventurers. Hang out deep in the woods and abduct elves and nymphs. They taste better.

>>55193503
Me too man.
>be me, faerie dragon
>leave my valley, my fellows being too fey for me
>hear about the academy set-up by Turak the Grey-Scaled(I know now that his school is has been world renowned for centuries, but my valley was in bumfucknowherestan, and everyone was either pairing up with or pranking mortals to care about actually interesting stuff)
>set out to a school run by dragons, for dragons
>finally arrive, mortals everywhere
>I find out mortals have been accepted for the past decade, even have mortal faculty(again, I never knew)
>none of them take me seriously, I just want to improve my magic, I'm a dragon dammit
>dragons are even worse, I later find out the only reason I get accepted was a joke to see how long until I quit by Thirix the Verdant, head of Geomancy
>I'm barely passing some of my courses, but doing quite well in others, think I deserve some respect that I'm hacking it
>it's been 18 months and I'm still forced to sit at the familiar's table with the fucking pseudodragons
The only none-asshole I've dealt with was one of the imps I sit by, and that's only because he's too focused on his own misery by being bound an inbred retard of a mortal who can barely cantrip who's daddy summoned him for his drooly of a son.

Fuck you guys, I'm a real dragon too, and I've placed under fucking mortals? The only thing keeping me going is spite at this point.
/endblog

Pic-related, the picture on my school ID, they fucking doodled this instead of the painting I commisioned.

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>>55198901
>can't even attach an image right
Why was I born

>>55193503
>>55198901
>>55198914
I really feel for you guys. It just so happens I know some magic. I would love to have you over to my lair for dinner sometime. It's not cannibalism if it's a faerie.

So I'm a fairly young green dragon, trying to get started in life and some human came to me with a proposition
>find town, identify wealthiest families (he'd be doing that since I'm still a bit shit at shape-shifting, I always fuck up the eyes)
>I fly up into town, terrorize the peasants, abduct rich family's beloved daughter/son/prized pig
>he volunteers to save the day and slay the dragon, for a reward
>meets me at a predetermined location
>have a mock-fight in front of the abductee so they can testify that he "vanquished" the beast
>he gets back triumphant, earns love and adoration of the people, gets free food and drink
>we split the reward, move towns, rinse and repeat
>when I get better at shifting, I can come with him to enjoy the victory party
Sounds like a good scam to me, what do you think ?

>>55199034
I find fleecing mortals without utterly destroying them is the best way of having a stable source of income, besides they produce the most when their cities aren't burning

>>55199034
>making a deal with a human you only just met
>said deal involves trusting it with your life
>implying humans are even remotely lawful
What do you know about this creature? Has it ever done this before?

>>55198979
Hahaha, it's so funny to make jokes I h-hope, h-heh

>>55193296
>>55198467
>>55194376
>kobolds
Do you guys think this could be an option for? Kobolds idolize dragons, ALL dragons, right?
I just want someone to take me seriously

Also, here's the painting I wasted money commissioning, it's closer to what I actually look like.

>>55182714
Hey dragon we mortals have those, we call them commonplaces & reseach notes.
Make some copies and send then to the University and you'll be suprised how fast you get a translation.
Last set of Pnakotics we got were a rhyming dictionary and a collection or recipes for some kind of roots.

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>>55199186
>again
I'm beginning to understand why I'm hated now

I'm in a corner, and I don't know what to do.

I've had peace with my neighbor, a red dragon, for a long time. He's always had my back when things have gotten hairy for me, and in turn I helped him out when a bunch of imperialistic elves got down out of their trees and rubbed two sticks together for long enough to try to knock over the sun worshiping city state he calls home.

He's always been a bit distant, but I really thought we had something here. I thought he was different.

Now I find out that he's turned this previously well to do city state into a despotic and corrupt hellhole enforced by his shitty little assassin's guild, and he's got designs on my lands and my goddamn people too.

I don't know if I could take him in a straight fight or not, it could go either way. I really wish I didn't have to - all the years of trusting him have left me wishing there was some other way. Yeah yeah call me a fool if you must, I was. But now I'm stuck.

I suppose it goes without saying, but I'm a silver dragon.

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>>55199186
Kobolds worship all dragons, it's true but they are a bit dull. Very loyal of you make a good show of force, and you can play favorites all you want.
>>55199197
Shit man, at that size you should just terrorize those Fish-mermaids that have popped up lately.

>>55199186
>>55199197
Kobolds aren't the best or the brightest... but yes. If you acknowledge that and work around it, they can be very useful and a ton of fun to boot.

The best way to win their admiration is to help them out. Be it providing during a famine, driving off a rival tribe, dealing with big predators or even helping them to relocate to a safer and more fertile area, they'll really look up to you if you can show them you're gonna help them as much as they'll help you. Just be careful not to be mistaken for a god, as that can lead to all kinds of infighting over what your will is while you're not looking.

And if you really do your homework at that big fancy school of yours, you can look at making them into proper draconics with time... keep the willing-to-volunteer-first-born-son dedication, but slap in more of all the good stuff: intelligence, stature, brawn, speed, you name it. Then you're really talking, and life gets a lot better for them too.

Although as a word of warning, it WILL take a LOT of work.

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Who the FUCK BURNED MY FUCKING SWAMP

>>55199201
I just can't figure you silvers out. Your metallic cousins are always giving us shit, but you guys just fucking let your guard down around anybody and then act surprised when others take advantage of you.

>>55199289
To be fair, if he'd have followed the standard red doctrine of brute force then we'd have had it out when we met and either he'd be dead or I would be. Either way, this conversation wouldn't be happening.

But yes, fuck me for giving him a chance. And wanting to not have to fuck with a fellow dragon if I don't have to, when as you have pointed out so many other metallics go right for the throat when it comes to chromatics.

Optimistically, it comes from spending too much time with the mortals - and their ideals rub off. Pessimistically... it comes from spending too much time from the mortals, and their ideals rub off.

>>55199364
Well, how do your fellows deal with these kinds of situations? Don't you like building friendships and alliances with others? Are there any other dragons in the area you can call to action in the face of a common threat?

Honestly, I should just call you a cuck and be done with it, but truth be told I've taken a fancy to a red myself. As a Green I find her both frustratingly unfocused but exhilaratingly spontaneous.

>>55199271
>>55199254
The problem is that they're bigger than me, but if I put off enough of a show could I still influence them? I've amassed quite a bit of a hoard from petty-revenge thievery from rich pampered mortals and I might be able to build a nice nest and try to get them to move in, and inspire awe in domain suitable to me? I'll pay closer attention to the adventurers who pass through here, see if I can hear about some refugees I can snag.

Also, the more I think about it, the more I like your kobold selective breeding/magically enhancing idea, it'll give me something to apply my studies to, as I've been terrible a necromancy anyway, and minions are an important part of protecting your horde. Eventually I could specialize them, soldier kobolds, builder kobolds, kobolds with magical aptitude, winged kobolds, and kobolds that are the best friends
You say it will take a lot of work, but I think I need something I need to throw myself into, to get me out of my self-pitying funk anyway. Do you have any tips for influencing them? Again, there weren't a lot of kobolds in my home valley.

>>55199450
>kobolds that are the best friends
These cute little guys would probably see you more as a master, but I'm not complaining since I simply order dangers around and such.
>Do you have any tips for influencing them?
Give them praise every now and then, a ring or chain goes a long way for loyalty, and in mating season the reactions are very, how they say...erotic.

>>55199450
Yeah it don't make too much of a difference if they're bigger than you or not, 'cos you do have magic out the wazoo and that's gonna get a lot done. You could fuck around with illusion magics, I dunno what you specialize in, but pretty much any school of the stuff will make bank in their eyes if you can leverage it.

Offensive or defensive magic? Bam, you just killed the troll/ogre/whatever that's been giving them grief for generations.
Healing magic? Now they can make the most out of their short lives, and they'll notice the drastic improvement in their quality of life both because you're fixing them up and because more kobolds will live to learn from their mistakes and thus they'll start to be smarter on average.
Divination, scrying or whatever? Congratulations, now you can predict the movements of rival tribes or larger humanoids who will usually ambush them, the movements of their caravans, their leaders, whatever. Give them a big tactical advantage.

The list goes on but even if you aren't terribly physically impressive, I would expect you still ought to be able to thrash one of them if you have to and then show him mercy to get their attention. And then your magical ability can take over from there.

Kobolds will generally operate in tribes - so it's only the elders, which are the handful that are lucky and smart enough to survive that long, that you've got to convince that you're hot shit and worth listening to. The rest will generally fall in line with whatever they say, provided you don't do anything too over the top and alienating.

con't

>>55199450
>>55199579
Ideally, you'll find one of the lesser tribes that isn't doing so well and offer to lead them to a better place (which you have located via map and scoped out beforehand to make sure it is better) where there's less competition and more food and all of that. You then demonstrate your prowess and usefulness to convince them you're worth listening to, and your hoard travels in pocket dimension bags with you. If you can have a good living spot for them set up (or just find one that exists naturally, like an unoccupied cave system) when they get there all the better.

Now they owe all of their new prosperity to you, and they're mildly dependent on you to show them what they can and can't eat and the like because the local wildlife is different from what they're used to and you've read up on all of it beforehand. If that isn't loyalty, I don't know what is.

I would try to stay away from /too/ much specialization, or too much of a rigid caste system if I was you. Nothing wrong with making them better at one thing or another, but if your shit's too rigid it becomes fragile and any mistake that neuters one of the castes then brings the whole thing down on your wings because the others can't do that job well enough to keep things ticking over until you find a fix.

>>55199482
Master is still good, I can maybe befriend other dragons once I've developed my magic into something half-respectable. I get a workforce willing to build and expand my den, and I have all the adoration I need to keep my ego focused on my studies. Plus the satisfaction from helping them out could be rewarding in it's own way, I guess.
>Mating Season
Oh, I uh... I'm not sure I would be ready for, er, that...
I'll stick to handing out trinkets during the fall and winter months then.

>>55199423
Yeah, there's a Brass that I've had similarly good relations with, but he...

Well, I have no idea what kind of help he'd /be/ in the fight. He got it in his head that he's going to improve the material wealth of his hoard by building it all himself, and credit where credit's due it worked out for him. I've traded for many useful things from him.

...But he didn't have much time for being a dragon with all that slaving away at the forge, and don't know if his trinkets would make up the difference or not.

Still, I suppose it's worth asking...

I would ask the humanoids, but I haven't any desire to endanger them. And, without any offense meant to them, at the level they'd be able to meaningfully contribute in the fight they would also be causing a major geopolitical incident by doing so. I have no desire to meddle in their politicking beyond what is necessary, either.

>>55199607
Yes, mating season is always a source of entertainment for me.
I've always liked those white scaled Kobolds with jade swirls, so I've started a breeding program. It's working out okay, but most females are mono-coloured. I guess it's a male trait.
Also, listen to this guy >>55199579 >>55199587
He knows what he's talking about.

>>55199096
My thoughts exactly.
>>55199129
I could gas it in an instant and I doubt it could actually win if the fight was for real
It seems like a ranger, probably a veteran, and while obviously dishonest, it seems to be lazier than it is mean, so I am counting on that
Easier to rob the peasants blind than fight a dragon to the death, am I right ?

>>55199648
Appreciate the plug! I can see you're no stranger to it yourself.

>>55199607
I personally really get a lot out of helping the little bastards out. It varies from personality to personality, but I would hope that it will be similar for you.

I think I said it before, but you really ought to try to stay away from god worship if you can help it. Goes straight to your head and will give you conflicts with your peers, and you've also got to deal with nasty and pointless infighting and/or revolutions when the little buggers go appointing themselves interpreters of your words and will and then get to disagreeing.

I find that it's much easier for them to hold a conversation with you - and you them - if they see you more as... say a leader, or a parental figure. A being of great power, sure, but still ultimately just a bigger and - uh, sorry. A more powerful version of what they are right now. And if you can sell it, what they could one day become if they want it bad enough. That will produce lots of motivation.

>>55199749
No problem friend. I'm mostly using my Kobolds as entertainment and other such things leading to them calling me master and other, much more deviant things.
It's cute, really really fucking cute but I also want to know if I might have to let a few of them go or something.

>>55199634
Bleh. I hate brass dragons. Sounds like he'd be the definition of an unreliable ally, but then again, maybe you could make use of him as a diversion or something if you come to blows with your old friend.

Also, don't think you're doing those anthropoids any favors by keeping them out of the loop. Unless you think they'd be happier as subjects of a despotic, corrupt hellhole.

Personally, I've been considering for the past couple decades about enlisting the assistance of something that can do a little heavy lifting. In my case, I was thinking about corralling some shambling mounds and keeping them on hand, not that that would do you a lot of good. Maybe your brass neighbor knows something about golem crafting?

>>55199579
>>55199587
First, thank you for the insight into their psychology, If they really are that easy to influence, then it shouldn't be that hard at all to bring them my way, and I've been scoping out places near the school, I've found some caves in the hills nearby that seem to be interconnect, which has access to groundwater(thankfully upstream of the school) but are currently populated by some goblins. Now, I could easily enlist some of the my fellow mortal students, especially those with their big stupid sword-wielding friends.
I've currently been under the affections of some female "wizard"(stop calling spark a fireball you cretin) with more hair colors than intelligence points who thinks I'm "soooo cute" and "precious", almost begging me to be her familiar. Now, she may not be very useful, but many of the male mortals, especially those more advanced than her, are going out of their way to help this empty headed monkey. I think if I swallow my pride a little, I could play her into a group of students to wipe out the goblins for me.
Is this a sound plan? This would be my first time manipulating mortals.

I see your wisdom in overspecialization, I think I just got too excited over such a prospect of transformation, I think (besides general improvements such as stronger and smarter) I'll try not to specialize them too much, I'll still get to indulge myself by breeding for color, like >>55199648 suggested.

>>55199749
I could see where a cult could end badly, I'll admit I considered it, but I think that has to do with how inexperienced I still am.

>>55199865
For a first time tricking people, that's a good plan. Be sure to have a backup incase they all doe though, very possible that they will.

>>55199705
If it works for you, then by all means. Just remember that you won't know if the fight is for real until that ranger's sword pierces your exposed throat.

Personally, I am fond of having a voluntary tribute system. Things tend to work out nicely when people want to pay you for their lives and livelihood, save for the occasional busybody adventurer.

>>55199852
...You know, I think he does. And I'm not exactly hurting for funds at the moment, either. That could be the deciding factor.

And I suppose you're right in that I'd have to kick it over anyway, if I won. Would probably be better for one of the other nations to have some sort of casus belli to at least establish some stability in the area, if nothing else.

Thanks for all of this advice, I think that just might be my solution.

I hope things continue to go well with your red friend, and you never end up in a spot like this yourself.

>>55199865
I would be exceedingly careful with a familiar contract if I was you. Those can be pretty airtight. I wouldn't put it past a woman who knows she has no magical talent but seems to be stuck pretending to be a wizard anyway to not fail to notice the same effect on her male peers that you've noticed and deliberately play it up, so she may not be quite so vapid as she lets on. You also seem to be worth your gems, so it's possible she's recognized that and is trying to get in on some of that magical power before her "ooooh I'm just a beginner" excuse wears out and word gets around that she's a useless cunt.

That's all just speculation, though, and admittedly not my area of expertise. So take it with a grain of salt.

My suggestion for clearing out the caves is just, honestly? Contract your fellow students. You've got a hoard, use it. It is important for you to get used to the idea that you're going to have to spend gold to make gold when you're young like this, there are too many dragons that won't even let go of a copper piece and wither away on their piles because they won't trade anything for anything or use their money to hire help.

Your fellow students may not think much of you, but money's the universal language and they'll take your money seriously. Play up your fae origins and spin them some yarn about it being just like home or whatever if you want to throw them off your true intentions, but school is expensive and I very much doubt they'll pass up the opportunity. Particularly if you remind the more martial ones that they can get brownie points for dealing with a local menace.

Sure it costs money, but in my book it's acceptable because then you forgo the risk that your familiar contract is strangling and you end up tied to this bitch for a couple decades.

>>55199909
Thanks. I've known her since we were both wyrmlings, and I'm thinking about asking her to move in to my lair. I think I know the way she thinks by now, but I don't like to take chances.

But it's weird. We've copulated a few times before, one time when we raided an elven refinery and got drunk on the spoils, but I'm not sure procreation is possible between different species of dragon. Well, here's hoping, right?

>>55199634
You say your Brass friend is a forgemaster? See if he can make you some artifacts or Golems to help you in a fight. Also >>55199852 has it right if you care about the bipeds involve them before your old friend enslaves the lot.
As an alternative there's always the good ol hire some adventurers angle. A bit of a gamble as they can be unpredictable and any strong enough to make a difference could also threaten you, but if you can find the right group and hook your problem could be solved without larger political upset.

greetings dragooned beasts, it is I sir smite-a-lot and I come to ask you a question.

with your dragon knowledge of each other, are there any particular weaknesses that I can utilise when slaying a red or green dragon.

this is currently one of the only types of creatures I have not slain yet, and I want the skull mounted on my wall. any locations would be useful as well

>>55183631
Huge fan, keep up the good work.

>>55200023
Now you see, I've always found adventurers to be more trouble than they're worth. Every few seasons a new team of shaved apes shows up snooping around my territory looking to involve themselves in matters that don't concern them. They usually wind up getting melted into puddles long before they reach my lair but sometimes they can be... resourceful. If our silver friend is lucky, maybe he can find a way to employ some adventurers to go on a suicide mission.

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>Hatched too close to a Warp or Abyss portal or some chaotic shit.
>Has no wings.
>Runt as fuark
>Other dragons laugh at you
>Siblings are condescending.
>Time to leave the lair and make your own hoard.
>Villagers throw shit at you and call you freakshow wyvern.
>No maids to fuck, no tribute.
>Find temples of demigod Zyzz's ruins.
>Follow the instructions that are painted in the walls.
>Start getting gains.
>Monsters around the wilderness stop bullying.
>Keep getting gains.
>Go to village.
>Peasants give me all the shit I want, drown in milk maid pussy.
>Got so swole to control that now I can leap enough high to punch assholes dragons that hover or fly above my head.
>I say the holy words "You are going to make it!" whenever I do.

>>55200047
Ah good Sir Smite-a-Lot, surely you know the aphorism, the best way to fight fire is with more fire? Precisely this. Be sure to employ weapons of fire and acid against red and green dragons.

It also would not do to come to the fight unarmored. For this you must defend yourself with equipment opposite of the dragon's nature. For red dragons a armor steeped in the deepest cold, and for green electricity would surely avail you against any threats.

>>55200047
Stand in the open and let him breathe fire on you. This will confuse him and give you an opportunity to attack.

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Oh god, can someone please fucking get me some tums or something, my fucking stomach is killing me

Bring me some McDonalds but don't let me smell it, I've been puking all day and I feel like I'm beginning to dry heave

Oh god, I think I can feel it coming up again HRHAHGGHHHRRRGGG

>>55200015
Oh, I didn't plan on entering a contract, I hear what the familiars say every day, to the point where when I'm casually researching I'll look into pactbreaking if only not to hear them whine anymore. I just meant to try to flex my manipulative muscles to try to minimize my expenses, as I'm also paying for school(but with that great draconic blood discount), but it wouldn't hurt me too much if I just hired help.
I've been chatting more with those who tend to adventure away from the school with other mortals, in an attempt to learn about tribes in the area being hassled the most.

I never thought about playing up my more fey aspects, though. Fey are irritating, but mortals love them for some reason.

>>55199364
>>55200047
You two now kiss

>>55179902
so uh... hey

that little flap of skin in the dragons jowels, that stretchy thing between it's jaws? What is that called?

And how would it feel on your dick? Asking for a friend

>>55200134
>freak
>biped
>can't even fly

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>>55200195
this is very true, I shall have to be speaking with my mage friends about this... hmm

>>55200205
you sir are the most tactical of these beasts ONWARDS

>>55200212
[pic related]

>>55182714
>Look, I took a mortal for a fucking mate, but let's talk about something else for once.

ayo ayo hold up

classic fucking blunder yo

>>55200234
You mirin' dracobroh?

>>55200134
Bro. You're a fucking dragonborn.

>>55200209
Just swallow a couple of mouthfuls of mud, kiddo.
Our biology can handle it and it'll sooth just about anything non-magic induced.
Unless you've got a spear stuck in your gut lining. You eat any weapons lately?

>>55200236
He has a red dragon and so do you.
It seems an easy fit,

>>55200319
I am a paladin of the god of smiting faggots. you have just been ranked up in our attentions. you may expect a priest to visit you in the next few weeks at your respective dragon lairs. if you are found guilty smiting shall begin.

>>55200332
Good luck to you boy, I'm behind seven swamps.

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>>55200332
I'm not a bad as I look I swear

>>55200232
I believe that would be one of the adductor mandibulae externus muscles. I'm sure it would feel very good and would not be at all associated with the loss of body parts.

>>55200347
you are black, we will rerefer you to our sister church, the church of the minoritys. they will do as is appropriate

>>55200349
are you related to elves?

>>55200332
Guilty of WHAT?! I don't go on holy crusades smiting humans for tasting so good. I just want to be left alone with a steady supply of food and treasure.

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>>55200367
Not even a little bit, fuck elves

>>55200332
Ignore paladin posts
Report paladin posts
Hide paladin posts

>>55200332

Yeah >>55200394
is our fembro. Go kys paladin scum.

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>>55183631
>blocks your path

>>55200454
spoil sport


>>55200394
you are acceptable dragon, here have a head pat

>>55200378
so you instead of working for wealth have it as tribute for virtue of being a dragon....... this is not how consumerism and economics work. you will be fined for this misconduct

>>55200394
>a dragon
I swear, why does everyone with dragon in their monster manual entry feel entitled to call themselves as such nowadays?

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Masters, Masters, look! Ik Ik's finally figured out the dwarfy papers and learned how to make shiny skins! Look at how sparkly he is!

>>55200479
I provide a service. In exchange for an annual tribute, I make my residence within a reasonable vicinity of my local clients. Seeing as I don't tolerate (major) incursions into my territory, I keep them safe and productive. I even let them choose whether they wish to provide treasure or volunteers in payment.

>>55200511
Just out of curiousity, where did you get all the steel to make it?

>>55200497
because I am one?

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>>55200525
The dwarfies we've been sacrificing, of course! It's like it grows out of their facefloofs like cave fungus!

>>55200520
hmmmmm...... and you of course pay tax? well everything seems to be in order here have a good day capitalist

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>>55190049
Worry not my Lord! for us Black Dragons had sworn upon that hated day to fr- to Fre- to FRHHRKKGKGHHKK OH GOD I LITERALLY CAN'T STOP VOMITING

HRRHKKKGFFFGHHHHH SOMEONE GET ME SOME BREAD

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Is this accurate?