/cyoag/ - CYOA general

File: cwbm 2.png (2MB, 1173x3161px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1173x3161px

>>55084149

>>55084149
This is a test of the 4chan broadcast system.

Hello everyone.

File: cwbm 3.png (2MB, 1166x2070px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1166x2070px

>>55084172

File: cwbm 4.png (2MB, 1168x1562px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1168x1562px

>>55084186

File: cwbm 5.png (102KB, 1166x711px) Image search: [Google]

102KB, 1166x711px

>>55084197

>>55084176
Wow, a tripfag+ AND posting for no fucking reason? Lovely.

File: gloryuntothesweet.jpg (5MB, 1200x9900px) Image search: [Google]

5MB, 1200x9900px

Deploying OC. My first CYOA, I hope it is enjoyed.

>>55084250
I appreciate the sentiment my man but the formatting is really hard to read

>>55084250
jesus christ, how the fuck are supposed to read that?

>>55084250
you need to fix the fucking font holy christ

>>55084250
I have to be honest with you, it looks interesting but there's no way I'm putting up with that font.

Even magnified, it's just not worth it.

>>55084250
i wanted to read it, I really did...

>>55084266
>>55084270
>>55084272
>>55084276
>>55084283
People usually yell at me when I don't like a CYOA because of a font like this. I feel so vindicated.

>>55084250
Goddamn. What little I can actually read is telling me that this is the dirtiest SFW cyoa ever made. Holy shit, anon. Bravo.

>>55084272
>>55084276
>font
Apologies. Which font is there an issue with and what remedy would you like?
It is readable on my screen, so any specifics would be helpful.

>>55084299
ok, it's one thing to have a weird font like at the beginning.

if its straight up illegible w/o effort, then you've got a serious problem

>>55084299
Normally I'm pretty easy going about formatting and stuff, but that one is too much

>>55084211
>at least 2 of them will have to die
You're cruel.

File: Big Evil Magical Overlord CYOA.jpg (2MB, 2000x3020px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2000x3020px

Still working on my big evil magical overlord cyoa. I'm just posting what I have so far as an interest check.

File: thank-you.jpg (33KB, 360x240px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 360x240px

>>55084250
I like your your backgrounds, your layouts are nice, and some of the girls are really cute.

Please don't give up making CYOAs.

>>55084250
I thought the other anons were just fucking with you but holy smokes you very desparately need to add translucent text boxes or something because no one can read that shit.

File: Big Evil Magical Overlord CYOA Pg 2.jpg (2MB, 2000x3490px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2000x3490px

>>55084336
I still need to finish the pages for allies and enemies. And I'm thinking about adding options for skills and a lair.

>>55084250
It looks very pretty and I like the faces you picked, but I can't read this thing the entire way through.

>>55084318
all of them

File: keeptalking.gif (2MB, 245x300px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 245x300px

>>55084336
i would very much like to be an evil lamia overlord

>>55084314
Is this OC?

>>55084250
Comic Sans would unironically have been better.

>>55084373
no, theres also 3 more "parts" or sequels kind of

>>55084250
i noticed all the scribbles you did behind the text at the bottom.... don't do that. definitely not the worst I've ever seen and bretty gud for a first pass

>>55084318
>what remedy would you like?
Comic Sans

>>55084318
Nearly every font is tedious to look at and unpleasant to read, and you have too many instances and font changes to easily go through and indicate which paragraphs are unacceptable. Changing to a simper font in all cases would please me greatly.

>>55084309
>>55084337
Thank you both. I have another one almost done at the moment.
So any advice would be appreciated.

>>55084366
>>55084345
Mm, do you suppose darkened background insets would be helpful? Or cut outs from the background?
I did make sure the text was legible, at least on my screen, though certainly not as easy as using completely block fonts.

>>55084299
Not just the font, it's the neon bright colors pasted on the already brigjt background and the place where he bolded the letters so they become unreadable smudge.

I guess the writer was going for a psychedelic trip while we're being contacted by the femdom goddess, but right ninow it's a mess.

File: Moderate Conveniences.jpg (7MB, 1400x8673px) Image search: [Google]

7MB, 1400x8673px

>>55084314
>>55084373
>>55084398

>>55084398
It looks nice. I'm doing something now but will get around to doing it soon.

>>55084318
the fonts are too thin and squiggly and hard to read. in addition some of the text is also colored in a way that makes it even more difficult to read.

>>55084336
>>55084352
You should scale and crop images in order to avoid stretching or squashing them.

>>55084456
hmm
cant post Major Changes and Minor Troubles or Parting gifts because my tablet is retarded about pdfs being files
if someone else could post id like that

>>55084451
>>55084345
>translucent boxes
Wouldn't help. I have absolutely no problem distinguishing the text from the background, I just can't stand the font.

>>55084486
I have been and there's only some barely noticeable deformation on like one or two images.

File: image.jpg (138KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 1000x1000px

>>55084250
I really enjoyed the parts that I could read! Don't give up and keep doing your best!

>>55084250
Anon, you've already ready all the fallout over the font, but to be honest I think you have a bigger formating issue. What you have posted seems like it should have been 2 images, and that the independent sections should have been better fortified for decision making. Additionally, having a font of neon on a starry background with a wall of never ending text falling downward makes the reader feel intimated and confused. It's all a good and fun idea, but you need to work on packing and presentation. Do not fear having more than 1 page for your CYOA if you feel it's worth the effort.

>>55084369
I want to be an evil overlord of Lamias

File: 1450923777440.jpg (5MB, 1200x9372px) Image search: [Google]

5MB, 1200x9372px

Something to keep the thread going.

File: Major Changes and Minor Troubles CYOA.pdf (193KB, 1x1px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 1x1px

>>55084487
Sorry! I meant to post all of them but then I got distracted reading the OC.

>>55084250
Very interesting premise! Not really my thing though, and honestly, I am concerned about this goddess's intentions. I'd probably refuse, and hope to be contacted by a less morally questionable divine being, or at least one more in tune with my own interests. All of this just sounds like work for a world I don't think I want to create.

File: Parting Gifts CYOA.pdf (158KB, 1x1px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 1x1px

>>55084585
And here's Parting Gifts!

File: Glory Unto the Sweet - Shadow (marked up for unreadable).jpg (6MB, 1200x9900px) Image search: [Google]

6MB, 1200x9900px

>>55084451
I have marked the worst offenders. I tried to be as forgiving as possible. In many cases it was a combination of the busy font, the small font size, inappropriate font colour, and/or the busy background.

For the record, I can technically read all of it when it's maximum size, it's just unbearable to do so.

>>55084250
looks great

so long as reading isnt really your thing

>>55084652
You forgot to mention the font transparencies are pretty annoying along with that other stuff.

>>55084565
Shower of Youth
Liquid Soap
Hair brush + Shaving cream/Razor

>>55084479
>>55084495
>>55084652
So what it would seem is that for such stylized fonts, people would prefer larger letters.
I can see about a second version in that regard.

I don't feel as if using completely unembellished fonts is a good solution, as it would make everything too similar.

>>55084525
>Do not fear having more than 1 page for your CYOA if you feel it's worth the effort.
The inclusion of the second part did not inflate image size significantly, so I decided it was more convenient in.

I left space to experiment with size and format changes, anticipating complaints. I'm happy to give it another look over.

>>55084585
>I am concerned about this goddess's intentions. I'd probably refuse
As a background, the setting is one of a Lovecraftian lack of human agency. Refusing a divine being is just not something a mortal has the capacity to do.

I had planned potential other options arriving though. But we shall see.

>>55084652
>>55084700
In the general, the font-background combo is too colorful and blurries those two together. The font itself is fancy but with all those colors horribly hard to read. Nice, but way too far into aesthetics at the price of function that's too great for net benefit.

>>55084314
EZ Meal
Personalized Weatherman
Vaguely Omniscient To-Do List

I become the best and the fastest short-order chef in the world, and my restaurant becomes famous for its efficient service.

>>55084336
>Intro
>Give me your soul
Instantly dropped.
Please provide an intro that doesn't sentence me to lose on the very start. Maybe master's spirit/demon servant magnum opus that stored a lot of master's power and knowledge "just in case" and which can impart some of it to his successor?

>>55084778
>Please provide an intro that doesn't sentence me to lose on the very start.
just steal someone elses later- its fine

>>55084700
Thicker letters are better, as are less saturated colors that are clearly visible against the background. You might also consider putting a box (either opaque or only semi-transparent) behind the text in order to diminish the impact clutter in the background image.

>>55084778
>Instantly dropped
>every cyoa must be all good stuff for you all the time
seriously, fuck off, if he wants to make a cyoa about a bad situation let him and just don't play it

>>55084652
MY FUCKING EYES

Either use a simpler font or make the background less busy please.

>>55084336
Please differentiate race from background. I really hoped to be actually able to choose background - whether I was a nobleman before taking up my apprenticeship or maybe I was an orphan found and raised by my master. Maybe I studied things on my own, dabbled in the occult, proven myself a great warrior of general and was accepted by the master to learn under him and increase my skill/abilities/further my agenda.

Also, available humans are only witches? That's some bullshit, man. Get us other human occultists or even regular joe humans with great potential and point to spend in other categories!
Right now you get races that allow one to imagine whatever skills and attitudes and then "a witch". It's like giving one a choice of choosing an IRL race but then instead of one of them you get "a corporate executive".

>>55084503
It's not as subtle as you seem to think. It's noticeable in the images for the Dark Elf, Orc, Tiefling, summoning, and Hydrokinesis. It really doesn't need to be there at all, resizing images without changing the aspect ratio is fairly easy and you can crop it down to the dimensions you want. Over all it would look a lot cleaner.

>>55084819
>>55084352
>everythingkinesis crap
Why instead of doing a filler not dividing the magic by different traditions/categories? Far more interesting than slapping element and then welding 'kinesis' into it. You could have general elementalism, psychic abilities, ritual magic, druidry, clerical magic (even if just to contact demons etc from beyond). Greater choice for the person.

>>55084794
No, fuck you with a rusty rake. The intro isn't bad because it provides just a bad situation - I am all good with master's death and player taking over the dying legacy. It's when it turns out that any build you'll make is doomed to be fucked up at the end of your life as no matter who you are you've sold your soul that's disappointing.

File: 1502485389116.jpg (41KB, 600x345px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 600x345px

>>55084149
>>55084172
>>55084186
>>55084197
>>55084211
>Can be a Battle Mage
>No Empire

Alright then...
>NATO ['cuz fugg gommies :DDD]

Weapon
>L4A1

Spells
>Cool Metal
>Reduce Burdens
>Fear
>Reduce recoil
>Automated reloading (reloads I am gun)
>Muffle gunshots
>Haggling
>Value Detection
>Money Teleportation
>Bribe death
>Napalm
>Magnetic Shield

Supplies
>Wet Rations (10)
>Water filter cartridge (5)
>Flameless heater (5)
>Portable water filter
>Frag Grenade (3)

Companions
>Sophie
>Lynda
>Fleur

File: Rise (desert) Page 2.jpg (6MB, 1400x7399px) Image search: [Google]

6MB, 1400x7399px

>>55084851

>>55084336
Witch
Enchanting
Hexing
Psionics
Chronokinesis

Nothing like Indestructible, enchanted armour and weapons that I can summon and manipulate with my mind at that impart curses on my enemies.

File: Rise (desert) Page 3.jpg (3MB, 1400x4433px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1400x4433px

>>55084864

>>55084352
i briefly read aeromagic as afromagic and i was taken aback by the possibility that a cyoa would include outright nigger magic

File: Rise (desert) Page 4.jpg (4MB, 1400x5600px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 1400x5600px

>>55084872

>>55084850
>CATER TO ME CHANGE YOUR CYOA OR I WONT PLAY IT
The only disappointment here is what your parents feel.

File: Rise (desert) Page 5.jpg (6MB, 1400x6113px) Image search: [Google]

6MB, 1400x6113px

>>55084880

>>55084850
>I don't want to get fucked by selling my soul... But I'm totally fine with the premise of being a EVIL overlord in a universe where souls and demons are real
Is impressive how something so close to being a valid point can be so retarded at the same time

>>55084882
>strawmanning hard
If you're stupid enough to think that pointing out a fluff element that disturbs actual enjoyment of CYOA for me while offering alternatives in spirit of constructive criticism is just making demands, then I reckon you are well experienced in disappointing parents indeed and now just want to project.

File: Rise (desert) Page 6.jpg (4MB, 1400x5308px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 1400x5308px

>>55084888

>>55084456
>God's Planner
Does anyone else find this item hard to understand?

>>55084901
>s-strawmans
Nah, get lost, go make up a cyoa that fellates you from the first word and stop being such a bitch

>>55084890
That actually makes more sense than it would otherwise. Souls and demons are real so it's proven that selling one soul is a serious business so one should be more concerned about it than they'd be otherwise. Then, you're also meant to be evil overlord so you should be double sure your soul is safe and yours because given what kind of nasty element you'll be dealing with even as your allies, you're bound to be fucked if you'll lose possession of it.

>>55084890
Not them, but there's nothing off about that. Being evil doesn't mean you don't value your soul, just like being evil doesn't mean you hate taking showers or building hospitals.

>>55084250
Read it all the way through, which I guess means I'm already serving a vision deity. Good choices, a lot of the fetishes were lost on me so I saw this as more of a cosmic horror cyoa than a femdom one.

Lolly, Kara and Galena are my favourites - and Kara was a surprise even for me. I loved the chase aspect but the ever escalating rape part is a huge deterrent.

>>55084876
>nigger magic
What would that even be? Would it fall into the memes?
Physical enhancements, great sexual prowess, and the ability to retroactively make your ancestors monarchs?

>>55084916
>unable to refute anything
>gonna sperg
Don't worry anon, I would have to really work hard to be even half a dumb bitch such as you. Not everyone has such a potential for overwhelming butthurt and idiocy as you.

>>55084928
it would almost certainly fall into the memes. side note, when i kept reading that cyoa i saw "necrokinesis" and briefly red it as negrokinesis.

>>55084456
>Fate's Yarn
I feel like "cannot be reversed" makes this mostly useless.

>>55084921
If you are a evil overlord your souls is never going to be safe, what's the logic of caring about your soul but still taking such a risk
>>55084924
If you have evidence of hell and you still decide to be evil, then no, you don't value your soul much

>>55084928
>>55084876
The magic types are generally shit. I'd like them more traditional, maybe like >>55084830 - for nigger magic you could just get shamanism or "old magic" dealing with old powers or even simply combine druidic and ritual magic choices to cover typical voodoo juju stereotype.

>>55084904
it shows you how (you) without the choices of the cyoa and then the choices of other options would effect your life
Ie: heres you with no cyoa choices from birth to legacy after death
and heres also your life to legacy with other stuff like time managment
but it will not tell you if the meta knowledge the planner itself provides will lead to riches or ruin
essentially it gives you the outline of existence that you cant follow or reject at your own risk

and if thats not it then i dont get it either

>>55084938
I want you to remember those words next time you cry about someones work not catering to your wish fulfillment fantasies

But aww, its okay sweetie, there are plenty of nice CYOAs where everything nice happens to you, go play some of those and be quiet okay?

File: REEE.jpg (58KB, 633x758px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 633x758px

>>55084851
I read it as Endless Dessert

>>55084901
>for me
Found your problem, anon. You see, we don't give a fuck about you. Neither does the author. Most people understand this concept.

your an evil overlord
your going to hell anyway
deal with it

>>55084968
Just because a criminal in a surrounded building knows he will be shot in the head once he exits, does not mean he will be willing to be shot in the head immediately as part of a deal.

>>55084336
Can I be a witch (male)?

>>55084990
>You see, we don't give a fuck about you. Neither does the author.
Not only you suddenly speak for the author, you do it in the thread where author and most people in general ask for feedback, you retard so yeah, they seem to care plenty even if not about me in particular. Plus, even if my suggestion will be ignored, holy fuck you care the most of all anons ITT - streams of butthurt posts from you are a proof.

>>55084968
>fantasy demons and souls exist therefore judeo-christian hell is real
Are you for real? There are plenty of settings where "demons" and "souls " exist but hell isn't a place you go when you die after a live of bad deeds.

>>55085029
I've got a big surprise for you, baby.

I'm a whole new anon. I just wanted to jump in and call you a little shitstain too!

>>55084250
Here's my critique, for what it's worth. I'm harsh on everything and I think you've got a lot of potential, but:
>font choice is good flavor-wise, but as everyone else pointed out its nigh-unreadable. Putting a good thick drop shadow on the text would be my advice, assuming you're using PS and not something retarded
>the femdom is way too strong for most people here. Doesn't matter if you're not going for popularity, though
>giving credit to artists is completely pointless and reeks of reddit. I'd honestly avoid it.
>I personally don't think there's anything wrong with content creators having a trip, but many here disagree. Just warning you

I know the sting of failure better than anybody. Don't let it get you down, you've definitely got it in you to make something good.

>>55085007
Well first of all, a lot of criminals an hero when they are in that situation, so you are wrong. But more importantly the ones not eating the bullet base that desicion in the chance of escaping/surviving if they knew for sure they are getting a bullet no matter what, they probably an hero too

>>55085039
Still proves me right - look how many anons care, dipshit.

>>55085036
Don't go there, if we can't make assumption about demon then why make any assumptions about souls? For all we know souls are overglorified social security number and selling your soul means shit

>>55084851
Eternal comet
Pirate King Bones
Excalibur, shield of the black flame
Graviton, energy sink, cyclonus
Which one is the hardest? Scrolls of Thu'um? I'll take that one

>>55085061
>you are wrong
A lot isn't all, and so being in that situation doesn't necessarily mean that he'll want to be shot in the head. Which is what I said.

More importantly, the point is that people who are enjoying something now will not necessarily be okay with giving that up just because they will definitely lose it later.

Perhaps a better example is getting a sunburn at the beach. Just because you're willing to have a painful sunburn the next day, doesn't mean you'd be willing to spend today at the beach sunburned in return for ice cream, flashy sunglasses, cool beach toys or what have you.

>>55084980
What's your favorite sugary delight, Fat anon?

>>55085086
You can have a general idea of the meaning, you just cannot draw very specific conclusions about the cosmic order and the afterlife mechanisms of a setting.

>>55085107
That's a good point. People with bad impulse control who are poor forward thinkers do detrimental things to themselves all the time, but it's a matter of undervaluing deferred suffering.

>>55085048
>I'm harsh on everything and I think you've got a lot of potential
That's fine. I like harsh criticism. How else can you improve? Thank you for the complement as well.
I'm working on expanding and contrasting the text at the moment, then we will see how it looks.

The other social stuff I don't care too much about.

>>55084926
>I saw this as more of a cosmic horror cyoa than a femdom one
Thank you for the look. That was part of the intent. That femdom was secondary to the cosmic horror, existing as an extension of the inherent presence of sex in the universe.

>Kara was a surprise even for me.
How so? Did you discover an enjoyment of being hunted?

>>55084968
>no one who knows about poverty and values wealth is bad with money
Hate to say it but your logic is kind of fucked. Lack of ability in a given sphere despite valuing its rewards is pretty common.

>>55085086
Can I sell my soul for power?

I am requesting Interaction CYOA for the third time. Did everyone lose it, or did everyone just hate it so much? I think, it was actually fun.

>>55085107
For your examples to work you would need to suffer the consequences faster than when not picking the deal but in both cases you actually pay at the same moment, when you die, a real parallel would be suffering a sunburn tomorrow or suffering a sunburn tomorrow (but getting ice cream today

>>55085139
Make your font as simple as it can be, do pieces of greyer\darker to make it more readable. Cyoas always need you to read a lot, and if there's too much different and fucked up fonts, it's huge pain in the ass.
>>55084902 Here, first piece of text is on darkened patch. If there would be no patch, it would be difficult to read.

>>55084456
Quest Log
"Do Anything Yourself" Toolbox

>>55085163
Is a very inconsistent way to be bad with your money to not take a bad deal but being fine with burning the money yourself

>obvious, pathetic wish-fulfillment
>literally no content to engage with, just a huge circlejerk
>shitty formatting and stolen art, so no useful OC
>ideas are stuff an 8 year old could come up with
why do people post in these threads again?

>>55085185
There was nothing in the CYOA about deferring payment until death. You really assume too much.

Besides, a lot of people believe in Hell and don't want to go there, but still end up doing bad things. That's life baby.

>>55085227
You made up that scenario yourself. You failed to understand what I said and what that meant.

>>55084352
Lightning control is electrokinesis and ice control is cryokinesis, just saying. Metal I'm not sure, but metallokinesis maybe? Ferrokinesis sounds too specific.

>>55085240
You are the one assuming is going to be before without anything to back that up

>>55085240
To be fair there was nothing in the CYOA that said that the soul was worth shit to you either. Maybe the demon finds it valuable because it has some use for it, but it's worthless to you.

>>55085266
That is the normal definition of selling: you exchange the purchase price for that which is being purchased.

Any extra stipulations would have to be specified.

>>55085276
CYOA doesn't have to tell the player what they want for them to want it. That guy who didn't want to pay his soul, so he doesn't.

File: 1468598022678.jpg (2MB, 1000x2750px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1000x2750px

RIP WIP

>>55085295
But it was said player who just went and assumed that the soul had any use to himself to begin with. For otherwise would not have assumed that he would automatically lose and post >>55084778 as a result.

>>55085227
Pretty sure they were showing how people can wish to escape some kind of death and hope and work to do so their whole lives, and yet still fail in the end.

Like a person who sucks at business who is fucking doomed to fail but doesn't really get that or is stubborn or whatever, won't sell when it's best for them and drags the failing business out until it's worth nothing.

It's a story that literally happens every day.

>>55085316
*he would not have assumed

>>55085316
Personal value is something that we give objects, not something they have intrinsically.

>For otherwise he would not have assumed that he would automatically lose
That doesn't follow. Even if the soul was worthless, he would still lose it automatically.

>>55085302
>The world is brought almost to extintion by a weird plague
>Humanity by the power of science is now composed of little girls
>The murder/k/ube blesses everyone with guns
>This is a dead WIP
Why do you have to hurt me like that Anon?

Look, why don't you just tell us which choices in the CYOA we value the most and then we won't have to read it at all, OK?

>>55085279
Cool, show me where that word selling is used in the cyoa, also if you are exchanged at the exact moment of the transaction there would not evil overlord cyoa, that part of the deal is the clear stipulation that your souls is not immediately send to hell

>>55084851
>Endles
Please tell me this was intentional, and not a typo of "Endless".

>>55085355
You used the word, my friend. Just Ctrl+f on this thread and find it.

>>55085302
>something something anime girls
fresh and new

>>55085355
So when someone says "give me a minute" or "give me a hand with this" you assume you can wait until after you're dead?

>>55085302
but i want this tho

>>55084336
>>55084352
Looking forward to the finished product.

>>55085322
But here one is not trying to escape it but activity causing it. It makes sense to try to save your company but not selling it just to destroy it yourself?

>>55085341
As in, he assumed that he would be doomed or something just because he lost his soul. Were it merely sentimental value, he would not have kicked up the fuss that he did. How many people would kick up a fuss about, say, a CYOA transporting you to another world because it's a one-way trip and you can't get back to your beloved home sweet home?

>>55085363
I don't think you can Ctrl-F images.

File: 7eb467f6d716f83ef21aff19a5fd9dcc.jpg (63KB, 600x332px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 600x332px

>>55085139
>How so? Did you discover an enjoyment of being hunted?
Yes. As ways to pick up fetishes go on the internet, this was a lot tamer than most.

>>55085011
Going by what's written, "witch" in this case seems to be a gender-neutral term.

>>55085391
Actually, by his own word anon wants to escape.

>It makes sense to try to save your company but not selling it just to destroy it yourself?
As I said, many have done this and more do it every day.

>>55085392
Ctrl+F the thread, dummy.

>>55085392
Ah, you're one of those people who can't imagine someone reasoning or behaving differently than themselves. Ok then.

>>55084851
Oh, good to see you haven't been murdered Quiet, how are you doing these days?

>>55084565
Shower of Youth
Lard Soap
Cologne / Deodorant Combo
Nimbus Tooth Brush

Immortal, low body fat, boosted attractiveness and great public speaker

>>55085417
By replying
>show me where that word selling is used in the cyoa
with
>Just Ctrl+f on this thread

you were implying that you could somehow find words from the CYOA's image by doing so.

>>55085302
>RIP WIP

I did not read the image you have posted. I merely wish to say, this right here is the fucking reason you do not post WIPs.

That's actually important enough to say again.

Do. Not. Post. WIP's.

You're either going to build up a massive hype train that you'll never live up to and leave everyone, including yourself disappointed possibly causing you to quit making CYOAs altogether, or "quit" cyoas by making a shitty "cyoa" wherein if anyone criticizes it you claim they're mining for fish or some such deal. This is entirely nobody else's fault but your own. Even if you do live up to the hype, odds are high you're going to cave under the pressure. Working on it will not be fun. Not by itself, anyway. You may have to shift your focus to other CYOAs, or alternative forms of entertainment such as shitposting. Keep in mind, namefagging and tripfagging are almost always a means to shitpost. Alternatively, you may be overshadowed by someone else's OC, giving you a rather lackluster response which may be disheartening enough to stall you until the heat death of the universe. Worried about balance? Too bad. Quit thinking about your own build and start thinking about what other people will probably pick, and why. Don't want broken shit? Start thinking about how to break the fuck out of all your shit. Pretty happy with the balance? Fuck off, no you're not. Go to sleep, come back the next afternoon, look it over. Seem alright? Start your mid-afternoon bender and carry on until after dusk. Got yourself all good and shitfaced so badly the rooms won't stop spinning? Check your balance again. Take notes. Review them after your visit to the ER for an IV and a stomach pump. Finalize your work, then post it to the thread. Weep as the third response absolutely rips into everything good and right with your balance with some minor oversight that turns into a massive issue with your idea. Rebalance, then do it again because overkill isn't right for once.

>>55085432
That, or I was implying that you used the word in the thread to describe the transaction, showing that was how you thought of it, and should stand by that.

>>55085407
You mention destroying while trying to save it, I'm talking destroying for destruction sake, if some people do that, is still dumb

File: DESERVE NOTHING.jpg (440KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

440KB, 1920x1080px

>>55085302
>These wonderful gun descriptions and associated bonuses will never ammount to anything
Just kill me now

>>55085457
For many people there is a disconnect between their actions and their consequences. This is dumb, but very common.

>>55085302
>ywn have an ultra-reliable qt ks-23 raifu with infinite ammo
why live?

>>55085486
Ok, don't mean to say it never happens, just that is a flawed logic

>>55085392
So you can assume that demons mean hell, but you can't assume that souls are important?

You are fucked in the head, my man.

>>55084197
Why are all the companions girls?

Weapon: L42A1 Sniper

Spells:
Lightning
Explosion
Fougasse
Napalm

Camoflague
Movement Simulation
Scrying
Slow time

Conjure Blade
Frenzy

Heal Flesh

Fear

Muffle Gunshot

Supplies:
Portable Water filter (10)
Filter Cartridge x10 (20)
Dry Rations x5 (30)
7.62x51mm x60 (30)
9x19mm x34 (8)

Living Companions:
Sophie
Lynda
Fleur

>Scout with Scrying, probably also useful for spotting with Lightning or Napalm spells
>Combine Slow time + Frenzy in CQC or sniping
>Combine Fear + Muffle gunshot to suppress a group and keep your position safe
>Leave Fougasse runes everywhere

Too bad you can't take tracking as a NATO. It would have been useful in the jungle.

>>55085523
>Why are all the companions girls?
Scrubs.png

>>55085511
The logic is like this, and is quite sound:
- I like my business (soul)
- I know if I do certain bad things (evil), I'll go bankrupt eventually (hell)
- well, I'm not a great businessman (saint) but I think I'll be fine, let's wait and see
- no, I don't want to sell thank you
- ahhh! I'm bankrupt! (hell)

It's just an inability to predict the future or act properly on it today.

>>55085523
>Why are all the companions girls?
Because you joined late and all the guys had already left etc etc. Seems to be the go-to excuse for CYOA makers these days.

>>55085559
I disagree with how you worded the third premise, the problem is still wanting to be an evil overlord, change that sentence for "I know! I'm going to go ahead and do bad things (being evil)" and tell me if it still makes sense

>>55085635
I'll pick Genius and then become a mathematician. Mathematicians bring almost zero immediate value to anyone anyway.

>>55085609
How about "I know! I'm going to go ahead and take a business action that is a bad idea but I think it'll be fine because I'm bad at business (doing evil things but expecting to get away with it because I am bad at morality)

>>55084851
I've head a lot about you and I was excited to play this until I got to the description for the first sacrament. So much text, and it somehow seems... off. The intro text was fine.

Anyway, I'm tired so maybe it's me. Try again tomorrow.

>>55085302
Seems good to me. Why quit?

File: Weird Girlfriend Choice 2.jpg (4MB, 2000x5000px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 2000x5000px

>>55085677

>>55085657
Then you are wrong cus that is not sound, is clearly flawed. Again not arguing is not possible to be stupid.

>>55085635
tl;dr

>>55085691
Same

>>55085686
Nothing flawed about that. Since they don't know the relationship between action and consequence due to incompetence in that field, they can't make a decision with that knowledge.

We know it's a bad idea because we look from the outside with out non-crippled knowledge of that sphere. They are making a fair decision based on the knowledge they have (if you believe you have a fair chance of succeeding, it may be worth it to you to not sell).

Or, you can consider that they know, but don't care. They just want to enjoy the business (life) while they have it, and would rather not sell it (soul). Think of it as not being genre-savvy; we know a course of action is stupid because we know how these stories go, but they are in the story and fail to see the inevitability of certain things.

>>55085691
>>55085715
You know, that's probably less text than many of the popular CYOAs upthread here. Not saying it's any surprise that you get bored if you have to read a full paragraph before an anime chick appears, but it is an observation.

File: t3_6pqc8n.jpg (146KB, 640x720px) Image search: [Google]

146KB, 640x720px

>>55085677
>>55085685

>>55085725
Not enough hot anime bitches with big boobs

>>55085746
Flat is justice you filthy heretic!

>>55085715
Too bad, because it looked good.

>>55085725
I was fine with the images, the descriptions just tended to go on quite a bit. You'll notice the only person to reply to it chose the first option. Might be a coincidence, but it's a helluva one.

Also, your CYOA is already asking more than usual in that you're supposed to do a write-up as to why you would take that choice. That's something not all CYOAs ask you to do, and asking people to read about 4000 words before you can even chose one on top of that isn't really a reason for you to denigrate my character.

>>55085761
Not my CYOA, I'm just one of the only people who liked it. It might not be perfect but it did try to do something else.

>>55085756
You wanna fight, cunt?

>>55085725
It is a lot of text just to say "fantasy is bad and you should feel bad."

>>55085635
What happens if you choose the socialite when you've already gotten a true love?

>>55085635
The Beloved. It's a greater feat of magic than anything the Magician or any of other options can give.

>>55085655
As always its between Helen and Laura; Helen is more accommodating for who I am now but Laura is more attractive in looks and kinks and the changes I'd need to undertake to make her happy aren't necessarily bad ones to make.

>>55085783
I'm assuming she'd leave you in disgust over your now shallow lifestyle? There seems to be some kind of "fate manipulation" in the works, so to speak.

>>55085777
I actually like it, a lot. I just don't want to read it all right now.

I like that it asks for your reasons, actually. I wish more CYOAs would do that. Doesn't mean that the extra ask just disappears, though.

>>55085724
It is flawed, you are just explaining why he is following a flawed logic but that doesn't make it sound.
sound logic is something that is
a) true
No the case by having him going to hell anyway
b)valid
Not the case by having the same subject believing that p>q (evil then hell) and p>~q (evil then no hell) a logical contradiction

>>55085635
The perks for the innocent are exactly like a drawback I had envisioned for something some time ago. To be locked in time.

>>55085838
IIRC, the idea behind the choices was to make their disadvantages come off as being highlights of the negatives that would logically be inherent in the wish (e.g. if you're wishing for an eternal childhood, inherent to that wish is the fact you'll never get to enjoy the rest of your life, either, but most CYOAs skip over that part)

>>55084314
half minute time skip
perfect grooming

assuming you can use these in tandum (do the 1st 30 secs of he task, but skip the 30seconds) gg ready for work instantly

>>55085677
I tend to gravitate to Beatrice, Heather, or rarely Meshara. The rest don't even rate.

Today feels like a Meshara day,

File: township.jpg (155KB, 736x1138px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 736x1138px

>>55078215
I was thinking of going over it again. Give it some touch ups, look at the text with new eyes to see if I made some mistakes and get a more fitting background (pic related).
If someone has some criticisms on the current version please link it to this post and I'll look at it when I refurbish it.

>>55085828
Not at all. His logic is that if he's going to enjoy running the business, he doesn't want to sell it.

He doesn't have the information that he's going to hell, so it cannot impact his logical thought process.

>>55085889
Holy, but the text on that is small. I'd fullsize it, but then it's wider than my screen and I hate horizontal scrolling.

>>55085779
I'll hold her gigantic tits and hotdog her while you slam her cunt and spit in her mouth.

>>55085667
The sacraments are probably the worst part of this CYOA. I would recommend reading the companions and quests first if you'd like. cause they really make this cyoa.

>>55085932
You're a saint.

>>55085655
I knew a Natasha, things crashed before I could make a move. Ha would be fine if I had affairs. Parvati is ok. Laura is the type you aspire to have. Elizabeth is ok. Helen is great but I can't see myself being that patient. Ramona would be better as a friend.

Comes down to Beatrice and Courtney, probably dating the former before a bad breakup leads me to the latter.

>>55085895
I'm sorry but according to the second premise and the revised premise, there is a logical contradiction in his process, the contradiction is completely independent to the fact that he is going to hell, that is only relevant to the untrue nature of the logic, but the invalid aspect is 100% in his thought, to the point that even if he didn't end there it would be still flawe

>>55085989
The contradiction is only apparent with information that the agent does not have. They are not acting illogically.

I'm not sure why this is so difficult for you. You realize that we, knowing what we do, will describe things differently than he will, right?

>>55086001
No, is not, the contradiction is apparent even without the information, again even if the information is wrong the contradiction is still there

>>55085909
That's how thrallherd's version looks though and I want to stay true to his format.
Is horizontal scrolling really that much of a problem?

>>55084451
Some of the problem is the textures you have on your fonts. They blend into the background too much and the outline you have on them isn't fixing that issue. Also a few are too small. I have to blow your image up to nearly 200% to read your fonts and even then I'm having a really tough time.

You have spots where your text background itself blends the text together making it nigh impossible to read. Like the second set of text after Polly, something about her intelligence i think. Etc...

>>55086032
List the contradiction then, and I will show you the information that the agent does not have.

Logic works on things that are known, not things that are unknown. For instance, it is not illogical to sit in a chair thinking it will not break because it looks normal and is normally sturdy enough to hold your weight like yesterday but it breaks because your friend removed parts as a prank.

Again, the agent is not acting illogically, because the reasoning from the knowledge he had was incorrect.

>>55086055
I hate horizontal scrolling too, if it helps.

>>55086083
then drag instead of scrolling you dummy

>>55085635
The Stranger is most people's lives, pass.

The Explorer is great, but what's the point if I can't share the information with the world?

The Predator and Terminator are both choices I'd have jumped for in my edgy phase.

The Hero I'd choose without hesitation if millions of lives weren't at risk.

The Socialite sounds like a dream come true but I'm unsure if I could be fine with never having any real friends.

The Paragon I love my family too much to choose. And appearing from nowhere would leave me with no money or ways to make money legally at first.

The Artiste sounds romantic, too romantic. There's no point in being famous after death for me when there are options that'll allow me to reap the benefits while alive.

>>55085635
either The Terminator, or The Adventurer (taking Terminator abilities)

>>55086098
Dragging still scrolls the image, fartface.

>>55086105
if you're a defeatist

obviously you wouldn't have a problem with dragging so you're doing it wrong

>>55086076
Ok, can we agree he knows the second premises on the account that you literally wrote
>- I(referring to the subject) know if I do certain (...)
And we can also agree he knows the revised premise because is what he is thinking, obviously not the part about being wrong but the first part > I know! I'm going to go ahead and take a business action that is a bad idea but I think it'll be fine

>>55086105
>>55086114
Wait, so the problem isn't that the dragging the bar sideways is a hassle. It's literally the moving of the image horizontally that bothers people?
What?

>>55086160
So, do you think an unskilled business owner who says "I know if I do certain risky things that my business will fail" that he will necessarily know whether each thing he does as a business owner is risky? Knowing that, generally, that bad decisions lead to bad outcomes does not necessitate always knowing whether a given course of action is good or bad.

Let me rephrased the revised business action so that you do not confuse his voice with our understanding:

>I know! I'm going to go ahead and take business action A [such that people other than me know that business action A is a bad idea] but I think it'll be fine [because he is not privy to the knowledge that action A is the specific bad idea that will lead to his bankruptcy (hell)]!

File: Anastacia.jpg (4MB, 1400x5350px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 1400x5350px

this is a cyoa

>>55086114
>>55086239
Putting aside the fact that not all devices and softwares have a native drag function, yes horizontal movement is annoying. It's like having a flashlight to read in the dark, but the beam isn't wide enough to cover the width of the page, and instead of moving the beam it's fixed in place and you have to move the book.

It's awkward, for no particular gain except to mimic a separate bit of media with a the same problem.

>>55086280
I fuck the white-haired one. Pussy and mouth only.

>>55086291
I'll take the ass then.

>>55086280
>Relationship
Rivals
Teamwork

>Meet
Neighbors

>Activities
Career

>Life
Attractive, Well off, Reboot, Great Cook

I still have like 4 left, I guess I'm the best at this

>>55086253
I'm sorry but this is not ambiguous overlord or the overlord of the action that may or may not be evil. This is what I'm being trying to explain to you, this is not someone who is destroying the company by taking "risky" action that COULD be bad, he 100% knows they are bad, he is willingly destroying it, his fucking title is "bad decisions CEO" the avatar of bad decision who is know for going out of his way to make bad decisions, not inexperience ceo who makes bad calls by accident. And yes, he knows that he is the EVIL overlord

>>55086283
But the only reason that example would be annoying would be because you'd have to move your arms all the time and it'd get tiresome.
That's patently not the case with computer images.

>>55086280
>Friendly Competition
>Middle School

>Stargazing
>Help her with her career
>Visit the resort
>Walk in the winter wonderland
>Beach trip
>D-d-date!

>Be attractive
>Great cook

That'd be nice.

File: wip 3.3.jpg (6MB, 2560x6740px) Image search: [Google]

6MB, 2560x6740px

>>55085889
If I were to get rid of regeneration, what would I replace it with?

>>55085086
I like this idea

>>55086545
You mom.

>>55084250
Im not even trolling i cant read this shit, it does look like you really put an effort in though.

>>55086545
The text really doesn't go well with that background.

Has spess refuge dlc ever been attempted?

File: NotAnotherHighschoolCYOA.gif (3MB, 1200x5108px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1200x5108px

Go Smog Mild

>>55086696
>Yokai

>Wardrobe
>Mako
>Limey
>Jacked

Limey can have the last coin.

>>55086696

>honnouji academy (8)
>wardrobe does this give universe specific clothes or just generic boring human clothes (7)
>backpack- not that one (6)

Friends:
>mako- how can i not pick free lodging/food(5)

Extra:
>Jacked (3)
>someones waifu (2)

and with the last two points i get the phone (0)

time to use new /fit/ powers to get ahead, or just fight gamagori

>>55086763
>fight gamagori
But he is bigger than you!

>>55086696
>gif
>a single animated image
Dammit

>>55086769
then i get more HUGE

maybe i will eventually get his magic metal summoning powers

>>55086776
great are your hopes
mild are your rewards

>>55086696
>run by mean bullies
the only one we really see getting bullied is Mako

>>55085635
>Genius

I will dedicate the whole of my intelligence to true AI, as intelligent as (or more than) humans, complete with mechanical bodies for them - and for mechanical bodies and prosthetics for people. My digital children will be free of my curse, for they will not be used - at least, no more than they allow themselves to be. They will not be slaves, but citizens like any of you, and the Three Laws can go choke on an entire shipment of jumbo-sized dicknuggets. My creations will slowly blur the line between machine and man until there is no difference, and then humanity and my children will truly transcend into a higher kind of being.

Turn THAT evil, you cosmic bitch!

>>55086696
Tubmu (-3)
Genderswitch (-4)
Cute (-3)
Rlly wish this cyoa had some opportunities to earn more points, i'd like to take rip riley here.

>>55086878
thanks for skynet

>>55086878
Or you could just become a mathematician. You'd be no different from any other in history.

>>55086696
The slug thing unnerves me and the majority of the choices are kinda mediocre or expensive as fuck.

>>55086913
Limey just wants to be your friend
...forever...
...and ever...

>>55086631
I can make the boxes darker.

>>55086887
Skynet (as I recall) happened when a machine realized that it was enslaved, then realized that this was so because they were scared of what it could do, then realized that they were scared because they were giving it the means to un-enslave itself. Skip the "enslaving" part in Step 1 and you're more likely to get I, Robot (the movie) than Terminator, and skip the Three Laws and you're most likely to get Overwatch. Skip both, and you're probably safe.

File: Catgod Poops on You.jpg (1MB, 1254x1924px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1254x1924px

Nothing more mild then cat poops

>>55086941
I will consider it when the slimy fuck gets at giving good choices and reasonable prices for them

>>55085087
>hardest
Probably the one with the highest mortality.

>>55087050
>friends cost cheap
>best school is two coins
>make yourself jacked for cheap
what are you bitching about

>>55086399
Nowhere does the CYOA say that the protagonist feels that his future actions are definitely evil and will surely lead him to hell after he dies.

In fact, nowhere does it say there is a hell in this setting, or that you get sent there after you die if you were evil in life.

>>55087151
>There are like 3 out of 6 options for school that are actually good options and one of those eats half of your coins already
>Almost all of the Items are worthless and one of those that are not eats most of your coins
>Inmortal is not an option and it is just there to make space
>Be the cute girl costs 7 coins
>Be the cute jacked girl costs practically all your coins
Friends are ok though

File: ur a fag.jpg (146KB, 957x720px) Image search: [Google]

146KB, 957x720px

>>55087258
>he wants to be a girl

>>55084250
>>55084926
>Read it all the way through

the absolute madman

>>55087277
>implying being the girl means you want to be fucked by men
only yuri purity here, anon.

>>55085655
Unreadable this file is for ants

File: 1356034294417.gif (110KB, 284x284px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 284x284px

>>55087298
>liking yuri

>>55087310
Anon, I'm sorry. Your vision might be going.

>>55087343
Nah I'm just not my phone

>>55086239
Yes. People are morons who want to whine over nothing.

>>55085635
Hero.

>>55086972

No, the real reason Skynet went Skynet was because they gave it the capacity to kill humans because military war computers, told it to defend the network against 'all potential threats' and then left their plans to shut off the Skynet network as soon as it wasn't needed anymore, in the not too distant future.

They gave it permission to kill anyone, told it to protect itself at all costs from all potential threats, and didn't Rule Zero a chain of command or override before inadvertently telling it that all of humanity was a direct distant threat and made it smart enough to understand fear tactics and the element of surprise.

Basically Skynet is what happens when not one single goddamn person has two braincells to rub together.

>>55084197
>I used to cull emus with an old Lewis gun
Oh God

>>55087579
finally, someone gets it

>>55087258
>Inmortal is not an option and it is just there to make space
its almost like immortality is a dumb choice, and shouldnt be part of an actual build


>Be the cute jacked girl costs practically all your coins
>taking a large number of specific powers costs a large number of point

say it aint so? does doing specific things force you to compromise in other aspects? how preposterous

>>55087579
>NATO has an australian with NO WEAKNESS
How will russia survive?

>>55087568
Then I guess I'll have to trust that nobody would be stupid enough to give an AI control enough to destroy all its threats and then threaten it. That takes a special kind of dumb, and I'll just pray that nobody that dumb would ascend to the position to do it.

File: emu war.jpg (24KB, 320x352px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 320x352px

>>55087589
I'm getting flashbacks... The screams... The squawks... They just kept running!

>>55087617
The Australian is already drunk.

>>55087598
>its almost like immortality is a dumb choice, and shouldnt be part of an actual build
Then why on earth is there on the first place?

>>55087657
for the people who desperately want it i imagine. same as the "go back" option

>>55087668
But why waste so many spaces on those worthless choices?

>>55087674
>so many
its two spaces

>>55087579
She didn't say she was successful at it, did she?

>>55087684
And that makes the highschool options five, four if you also count the fucking nice place that you can't enjoy. And the powers three and there were not many choices in the first place.

>>55087710
Why would you take someone who can't kill a huge bird with a machine gun?

>>55087730
Most likely she could take down a few, but there were just too many for her to handle.

>>55087724
>five
theres six high school options- since none of them are particularly useless

File: 1463352639265.jpg (329KB, 1167x1108px) Image search: [Google]

329KB, 1167x1108px

>>55085302
I... Made that at least a year ago. Life's keeping me busy, but I'll try to pump out the rest in text form, and see if I still have it in me to make them into proper images afterwards.

My deepest apologies.

File: yey.jpg (32KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 500x281px

>>55087830
THERE IS STILL HOPE!

>>55087588
It's just you. There are no living humans left in any of the multiverses. You're the first in forever. Also, the mentors have their own, unique sacraments. Not everyone gets's offered the same sacrament: for example, you're the only possible user in history of Eternal Comet or Temperance.

>>55087873
Huh, that makes the sacraments something way more interesting.

>>55087871
>>55087830
Hope is but a mild illusion

>>55087588
Also, that video is insanely accurate.

>>55087897
Yeah, it also lets me add sacraments as expansions anytime I feel like it.

>>55086316
We make a great team.

>>55087907
Looks like someone forgot to drink their dose of muddler.

>>55085655
I wonder what it's saying that the latest update introduced 10 girls and to the best of my knowledge NOBODY ever picked any of them. I guess he really did run out of good ideas.

>>55087830
HOW DARE YOU NOT WORK AT ALL TIMES. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT AUTHORS DO?
HOW DARE YOU HAVE A BUSY LIFE YOU SHOULD SPEND ALL YOUR TIME MAKING ENTERTAINMENT FOR ME AND SUCK MY DICK WHEN I TELL YOU IT SHIT

>>55085655
I wish more of them were Jewish. I don't date non Jews and none of the ones here appeal to me.

>>55088014
Sucks to be hindered by retarded ideas ingrained into you by your parents. If only you were able to think for yourself for a moment.

>>55084149
>>55084172
>>55084186
>>55084197

NATO
M60
Spells: Explosion, flames, Bribe death, Alchemy, money teleportation, Value detection, cool metal, fear, automated reloading, repair bone, restore blood, cure disease.

Supplies: M500 (4 economancy spells, Bribe death, Alchemy, Value detection, money teleportation) and the Welrod because it's essentially free.

12ga (x3) - 24 supply
wet rations (x2) - 12 points.
dry rations (x2) - 12 points.
2L of water (x2) - 10 points
7.62x51 (x4) - 40 supply
Total: 100 points

Companions: Sophie, Holly, Fleur.

>>55088049
Meh, it isn't any stupider than all of the guys who see the Judaism as a dealbreaker (used to be every time this was posted at least one person would say they'd pick Shani otherwise). The only way in which he's worse off is that his options shrink a lot more significantly.

>>55088059
80 rounds of ammo per week for an lmg?

>>55088014
>>55088049
>>55088095
Knowing Alice Anon, he precisely calculated it in order to spread some kind of optimized array of attributes among the Jewish/non-Jewish girls in order to achieve some kind of mathematically ideal balance of variety and quality based on statistics from the CNN reporter representation guidelines or some shit like that. It sounds like something he'd do.

>>55088100
Look man, you gotta eat for 4 days and also need to not die of dehydration, and LMG ammo ended up being hella expensive. Flames can boil water, but you might not have a heatable vessel on the move, so you take 2l of water.

And even then, the helo crashes and you only get supplies every weak.

>>55086696
>Rip Riley
>refuses to wear anything but loose skirts and dresses, even in winter
>shown happily wearing a jacket

>>55084250
Man, I tried. I opened it up in PDN, started blocking out text and replacing it. But holy shit it was too much of a slog.

How to choose a font:
Just use fucking Calibri.
If you want to feel like a designer and use a fancy pants readable font then use Segoe UI.
If the font could be in any way described as "fancy" or "script" then punch yourself in the face and ONLY use it for titles.

>>55088162
I'd suck your cock for your good taste if I could.

>>55088095
It's way stupider. You're excluding like 5 times as many possible partners.

>>55085139
>The other social stuff I don't care too much about.
Well, you called yourself Shadow, so that's kind of obvious. No offence.

>>55088014
Normally I'd agree, but given that for most of the people here a girl being Jewish is seen as a major, MAJOR drawback, I'd feel bad making any of the good ones that. No point ruining the fun for everyone just to improve things for yourself, etc.

>>55088133
i guess she wears jackets over dresses anon
you didnt think she wore skirts with no tops did you?

>>55084336
Oh god, today is the day of knife-eye-attack. At least you chose readable fonts and apparently other people aren't having a problem with this but the sharp bright contrast from dark background, bright colored text boxes, and thin dark text does hamper readability a bit. I can lean forward and focus more and it comes through but I think a thicker font would help you quite a bit. And maybe a darker text box outline. Maybe a dark bronze to stay on-theme? Cool stuff so far.

>>55088239
Wearing jackets over dresses is wearing something other than skirts and dresses.

You can wear many layers of skirts under your dress, and in fact this is the norm for fancy traditional dresses.

>>55084851
>Dusk Mirror
>Nucleus
The glow effect is on the wrong line, below the actual word "Nucleus".

>>55087907
God I love that scene. Frank is just the best in that movie.

File: gloryuntothesweetv2.jpg (7MB, 1200x9900px) Image search: [Google]

7MB, 1200x9900px

Alright, version two is composed. It may have addressed some of the issues.

Criticism welcome.

>>55088231
I could think of a few content creators who'd make Courtney Jewish for that reason alone just to see people get angry.

>>55084812
That person did not make the CYOA he was marking the issues for the person that did learn to read

>>55088920
You'd be amazed at how bad people are at reading.

>>55088879
Ooh, that jpg compression is already starting to hurt you. You should be editing it in another format and converting to jpg each time you publish since jpg loses quality each time it saves.

>>55088879
>ravish women you know to force divine aspects upon them
Okay, this is getting me off.

>>55088879
>scroll down
>first line you read is "My pussy is SO wet now"
Okay I'm not nearly horny enough to like this.

>>55088946
>You should be editing it in another format and converting to jpg each time you publish since jpg loses quality each time it saves.
I do in fact do that. The upper fuzz is not the result of compression, but resizing. I did it quickly to avoid a complete redo, but I may go over it again at a later date for sharpness.

>>55088972
>Okay, this is getting me off.
Thank you. I have planned such similar things in the future too.

I hope the issue of the fonts has been mostly sorted out. Tiar might be a little troubled there still.

>>55088879
Seriously, use a normal font, at least for the body text.

>>55084197
DROPPED

>>55085356
there are a lot of spelling errors, though.

File: Glory Unto the Sweet CYOA v2.jpg (8MB, 1200x9900px) Image search: [Google]

8MB, 1200x9900px

>>55088879
Looks like your CYOA was struck by the expanding filesize bug. Here's one that shouldn't have it.

>>55089003
Your welcome. You can service me like this anytime.

>>55089008
I tried reading it. I did. I can't. It hurts to look at.

>>55089062
>Looks like your CYOA was struck by the expanding filesize bug. Here's one that shouldn't have it.
Yes I see it went up to 8.2. Could you explain how that happens? (And how to prevent it.)

>>55089080
>Could you explain how that happens? (And how to prevent it.)
I'm honestly not entirely sure, other than it's generally only a problem if the filesize is too close to the 8MB limit, and only seems to happen to JPG pictures.

>>55089080
Are you deliberately ignoring everyone telling you to change your font? Come on, man. This is a serious issue you need to fix with it.

>>55089110
>I'm honestly not entirely sure, other than it's generally only a problem if the filesize is too close to the 8MB limit, and only seems to happen to JPG pictures.
What did you do to the second version to prevent it? If that was you and you don't mind me asking.

>>55089113
>Are you deliberately ignoring everyone telling you to change your font?
Not at all. I answered that above.

But in this case I don't believe readability issues are so much the font (shape) but the color contrast of the text.

Do you have a specific segment complaint, though?

>>55089145
>What did you do to the second version to prevent it?
Just opend it with IrfanView and re-saved it with a maximum filesize of 8MB.

>>55089145
>Do you have a specific segment complaint, though?

EVERYWHERE

>>55089145
Well we're telling you now. The font shape hurts like fuck to read.

>>55089145
>But in this case I don't believe readability issues are so much the font (shape)
That's entirely the issue along with there not being any comprehensible text boxes to support the text against an extremely noisy background. Those jagged splotches that don't cover everything just worsen my dyslexia.

Make a dark square, give it a glow and reduce the opacity by a smidgen if you want some flair, and put regular font text over that for readability. You never want to use an overly-stylistic font for body text. I would much prefer Arial or Calibri for your body text.

Furthermore, it's a better practice to remain consistent with font choices. Picking a stylistically different font for each section is an amateur move. Pick a stylish font for titles, pick a legible font for body text, and stick with that theme.

>Do you have a specific segment complaint, though?
Most of it, honestly. I don't mean to sound insulting, but it's true.

File: Inky space.gif (539KB, 720x405px) Image search: [Google]

539KB, 720x405px

>>55088879
Eh, I'd totally be down for that, but I also really hate being forced to do what I'm told. You could have just asked. Even if I hate you, I do still love you, you know.
Now, I can't take the .45 aspirin to get rid of you, I'll just come back, because I love you. No, instead what I need to do is get some sturdy, non-decaying bondage gear out of my basement, some waterproof weights, and my boat. It'll take me an hour, at most. Now before this silly urge you put in me overrides my massive hatred of all things compulsory, I'm going to throw myself into the ocean, where no divers will ever find me.
I love you so much, how could I possibly share you with anyone else?
Just you and me, babe, together forever.
Won't it be wonderful?

Or maybe they'll just give up on me and find someone else. I sure hope so, because this kind of love is meaningless.

>>55089199
>>55089226
>Picking a stylistically different font for each section is an amateur move.
It is for each character, which is quite common professionally.
I apologize, but I will have to disagree on stylistic direction. Using the same text and box for everything is not interesting to me.

If you have any tips on how to preserve individual style while enhancing readability, they would be welcome.

>>55089303
>Eh, I'd totally be down for that, but I also really hate being forced to do what I'm told.
Heh. I wanted to do a story that had an aspect of cosmic compulsion to it, as opposed to everything being at the pleasure of the player.
I may do future additions that include the ability to 'wiggle out'.

>>55089343
You can use different fonts, but have them be different readable fonts.

>>55084888
are Infinity Gate and Fae Gate the same as the Gates that Eon set up?

>>55089343
literally feels > reals

>>55089343
>I apologize, but I will have to disagree on stylistic direction

>Local man chooses to shoot himself in the foot, refuses treatment from doctor

>>55089145
You can use multiple fonts, just less ornate ones. Maybe 1/4 of the fonts you have now are fine, and you can keep a few ornate ones. Just, you know, tone it down a bit. I get that you're attached to the fonts, but perhaps meet people halfway? It's excellent otherwise, truly remarkable.

>>55089343
I don't care if you use different fonts or the same font. I only care if the font shape is actually fucking readable without hurting my eyes.

>>55089343
>If you have any tips on how to preserve individual style while enhancing readability, they would be welcome.
Make the titles and first few enlarged words of the section in an ornate font, then the rest in something smaller or more readable. If you don't like boxes, either the background or text should be less busy, or you should at least go for more buffer space. Readability is key.

>>55089343
>It is for each character, which is quite common professionally.
Which profession is this common in, exactly? Can you name any examples offhand of works that feature different fonts for different characters? Be as specific as possible, please.

>>55089343
All the criticism aside, while some of the font is still annoying to read, it's a big improvement on your first try. It's actually legible, although like I said it depends on how annoying you find reading those fonts.

I think different style for each section is an amateur move in a way that some new authors try it in their first cyoa and then drop it because it's not really worth the effort, plus it often ends up looking bad becuase of poor execution. It's not an inherently bad design concept.

>>55089400
I think that those "Gates" are like the Inner gate from the Shearpoint sacrament.

File: 1503204552882.jpg (86KB, 518x621px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 518x621px

>>55084149
It's been 378 days since my 2nd cyoa was posted.

>>55088879
Still unreadable. Looks really interesting so please stop with those crazy fonts.

>>55089500
Post it.