Player Hate Thread

>gut one in the neck

>>55070897
It's not pleasant, but you can do it. You really need to give them an impromptu tracheotomy first.

Then again, you don't really need to gut them through the neck after you've slit their throat open wide enough for you to shove your fist down it so it's sort of unnecessary.

>>55070958
Gulp.

>>55070848
>Tell the group that the campaign is going to start up in a certain amount of time so I'm going to need them to create their characters and send me their sheet and the general overview on their characters before that time.
>Most players get their shit done and send it to me with plenty of time to spare.
>But one guy wont send it to me at all, and requires a fuck ton of prodding in order to get him to do this one fucking thing
>Usually have to sit down with them and go throw their character creation with them a day before the game starts up.
There's always fucking one, I swear to god.

>>55071695
Every fucking time

>>55071695
In my group, this is all of my players. Day of, they don't have any backstory and we have to use half the game time to make their sheets.

The one fucker who insists on using metal dice on your glass table.

>>55074019

>That one fucker who insists on playing on his glass table

>>55074545
Is that you Matthew?

>Player doesn't like system/setting/genre/whatever
>Instead of sitting out, they make a terrible character and try to ruin the game for everyone involved
>Throw a shitfit when you call them out on it

>>55071695
>>55073776
>be gm for first time 5e players
>don't mind guiding everyone through characters
>prepare refsheets for everyone with details of their skills and shit
>solves 90% of disputes and people know what their shit does now
>one player refuses to use his for god knows why
>he's a spellcaster with like 9 billion spells and feats and i can't remember what half his shit does
>have disputes over what he can do and can't do, ask for his refsheet
>always goes "oh no i left it upstairs"
>it's his fucking house he could just get it but he refuses to get it
>insists on looking it up on his phone or tries to recall the details from memory

i'm should just not let him play without showing me the sheet beforehand

>>55070848
This guy >>55066478

>>55070848
My current group aren't hugely That Guyish, but they've got this weird idiot mentality that nothing in the world should exist unless it can be interacted with right at the moment of discovery. I had to go on roughly a 10 minute explanation as to why a city would have a secret entrance burrowed under one of the walls; after all, they weren't planning on sneaking in or out. They weren't even mad, just confused as to why it would exist.

>>55075395

Nah, I just threw that around for the sake of perspective

>>55076097

Pretty sure you can't even say "maybe smugglers use it", because they'd take it for a plot hook and get mad if no smugglers happen to march into their embrace

I've dealt with this type of player before. Any time any dungeon/lair/magick tower/whatever had any description, they had to go through every single fucking thing. Like, if I said there's a bookcase: "I SEARCH THE BOOKS". If there's a table "I SEARCH THE TABLE". Until I just had to go "yes yes you automatically search everything", and later had monsters happen upon them while they went through every single crack of every single room they went to.

>>55076147
Actually, it was being used by smugglers, which is how they discovered it in the first place. But since THEY weren't about to use it, they were confused as to why the smugglers would need to. They're smugglers, right? They just smuggle things. That's what they do. Why would they need a tunnel?

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>>55076368

>mfw

>>55076604

As in, can people even be this fucking stupid

>>55076619
I once had players try to make a murder look like an accident by throwing the corpse down a staircase.
Without first removing the crossbow bolt from it's forehead.
Or untying its hands and feet.

I was the bad guy after that session because the city watch went on a manhunt.

>>55071695
>>55073776
This is also my players. I've given up expecting them to do anything outside session, which is why every time I start a campaign I now explicitly plan a Session Zero where they do nothing but character creation and I answer questions and shitpost on my laptop.

>>55076788
>Your characters died during the downtime
>wtf why?
>you didn't explicitly say that your characters ate food, drank water, took shits, or breathed, so they all died.

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>>55077775
>I'm going to get past them without them knowing

oh ok roll stealth for it to see if you~

>WOOOOOW IM OBVIOUSLY STEALTHY WHY WOULD I NEED TO CONSCIOUSLY TELL YOU THAT I DO THAT AND MAKE A ROLL?

>>55077775
I remember this from before. A PCs pet died because he didn't mention the GM before a time skip that he would feed him. The fuck kind of logic is that? Did he need to tell him he'd breathe air during the time skip?

>what am i rolling for again
>what dice do i roll, knowing full well this is a D10 system and we've rolled literally nothing else
>i missed that, i was on my phone

FOR FUCK'S SAKE SCOTT.

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>>55075441
>why aren't we playing [other system]
>your character could do that if we were playing [other system]
>[other system] has rules for that y'know
>if we were playing [other system] you could build a character to be good at that
>this game would be way better in [other system]
>I wish we were playing [other system] instead

YES. FINE. OKAY. I GET IT. YOU LIKE THAT SYSTEM AND DON'T LIKE THIS ONE. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED LEAVING THIS GROUP TO START YOUR OWN WHEREIN YOU AND A MERRY BUNCH OF FAGGOTS PLAY THAT GAME INSTEAD?

NO?

YOU'D RATHER JUST SIT THERE AND COMPLAIN?

OKAY

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>I roll to seduce the barmaid

>>55078974
You realize not being able to tolerate the faintest suggestion of sex makes you look like just as much of a broken, dysfunctional weirdo as the people who feel the need to insert hardcore fucking into everything, right?

>>55079057
I'm speaking specifically on the shit that devolves to varying levels of ERP between the hopefully reluctant DM and the player. I would understand if it was a matter of using your charisma stat to gain access to information through pillow talk but too many times I've sat through some neckbeards wetdream forced on the rest of the party.
Disliking a player subjecting the rest of a table to their pathetic sexual escapism doesn't make me a dysfunctional adult.
Sorry if my post was misleading.

>>55079121
Why not just say that? You ain't wrong, though. I'm sick of the manchildren at both ends of that spectrum

>playing online
>that one guy who doesnt lock his door
>that one guy who has to talk for 20 minutes with his mum
>that one guy who doesn't participate after being told twice
FUCK
YOUUUUUU

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>>55079298
>back in 30-45 minutes, have to pick gf up from work
>(in the middle of a battle) going to the gym, back in an hour
>afk making supper
>raid night tonight, gonna be slow to post
>(falls asleep mid-session) (apologizes the next day, said he was going on 48 hours of no sleep)

I'm starting to get the feeling these people don't actually give a shit about the game. I asked them repeatedly if Sunday evening is okay for the game, and they said yes, but they still pull this shit on me. I think I'm just gonna end the game and find a new group, maybe a real life group instead of online.