What keeps your character from becoming a god, /tg/?

>>54975940
He isn't divine.

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>>54975940
Depends on the setting

>>54975940
The actual god wouldn't like it

He'd have to take a pretty significant pay cut.

>>54975999
>Not killing the gods just to create an atheist world

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>>54976314
>live in pandeist setting
>killing god causes universe to cease existing

>>54975986
>Shin_megami_tensei_iv _apocalypse.png

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>>54975940
Because my character has already pledged to die for Darkseid.

>>54975940
They tend to not survive long enough

>>54975940
Incompetence, mostly

GM doesn't allow characters beyond lvl 12.

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>GM reveals that each of our characters is the embodiment of the old pagan gods, given "humble" form after destroying the world the first time. It happens every hundred years or so
>I'm playing a jaded old barbarian so I end up being the reincarnation of not!Fenrir post not!ragnarok
He chooses not to. Probably because he doesn't want to go back to being chained up in the center of the earth.

>>54975940
Being a god sucks.

My character IS a god. Nothing much changed really though, it's not all that great

>>54975940
>Creation/Essence Warlock, Elan 100 with Erebus.
Nothing. In the Wake/Vigil, that is.
In the real world, he's limited to Gnosis 40, and if he pulled that shit, Imperium would have him over a barrel in a heartbeat, with one of their God-Killing Blades halfway up his ass.

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>>54975940
Apathy.

She already is a god.

Now it's just a matter of killing every other god, resetting the universe, and taking up the seat of One True Demiurge to create true universal peace. But first those filthy Lolthite Drow have to die.

>>54976247
Found the Sidereal.

>>54975940
Lack of will, divinity mechanics

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>>54975940
He has only one god, the Three-in-One, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

In the name of Mary and the Trinity, yield and he will not smite you down where you stand for even thinking of being on equal footing as God.

DEUS VULT

>>54975940
My GM won't let him.

>>54975940
Well hes basically already doing it. In the endless space setting when you are a Dust Uplifted group of psychic space mantis, having a ton of dust pumped into you basically advances evolution for him by by a few millennia. So the only thing stopping him is the fact he is having too much fun being corporela, and he won't be able to bring his best buddy/bonded slave with him. (its weird)

He hasn't found his Quest Bed yet

>>54975940
She's to busy living a happy life in a tropical paradise and worshipping Not!Cthulhu with her two spouses to be bothered becoming a goddess herself.

>>54975940
The DM

>>54977246
cringe

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>>54975940
Nothing, full casters are always broken

>>54977586
you're a real fun person aren't you

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>>54975940
He already is one.

>>54977586
>cringe
Oh hi 2010, didn't expect to see you here in 2017.

>>54976381
>not usurping him
>not claiming his power as your own
if might makes right then why not become mighty?

>>54977709
he's right though, everyone is sick of your stale facebook meme, especially when it's executed so clumsily
it's about as fun as monthy python references now

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Furries and clowns.

>>54977924
fuck facebook memes, I'll say deus vult if I want to because I think it's cool. Just because retards on facebook turn it into a meme and ruin it doesn't mean I'm gonna stop.

>>54975940
Tyler makes an excellent observation, but I have to ask, what the fuck is up with that dog?

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>>54975940
Technically speaking, gods don't exist. But she's currently on the hunt for Not!Jesus so she can beat Her up and steal her power.

It's actually been pretty fun, since I'm playing a 14 year old Medieval edgelady who's solidly Lawful Evil, and my buddy has been playing her Lawful Evil leaning on LN Lich tardwrangler and technically her regent. Shit's been going in a very Crusader Kings-style direction of stabbing babies, imprisoning random fucks, and selling her first-born to demons without telling them she intends to lichify before she gets married and will thus never have a firstborn.

>>54976381
>Three billion
Darkseid... is that all?

>>54977586
>>54977924
Deus Vult was a meme before you were born, boy.

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>>54975940
>>54977246
Because, dear friend, he has only one God, the Father, guardian and God of humanity: the True God and Master of Mankind, He who protects us from the depredations of the Warp and the foul Chaos gods, who guides the Astronomicon, which allows our ships to find their way in interstellar travel, and shows the Way through His Holy Tarot. He is our Saviour and Protector. Worship Him, and strike down with His Righteous Wrath those who have turned their backs on Man and towards Chaos or Xenos races.

Ave, Imperator!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhhYIZJj6rk

>>54976781
That sounds pretty awesome. What system did your GM use?

>>54975940
Being a god won't make him a whole man.

Too much time spent carousing around seedy taverns and doing psycadelic drugs. When they party goes out to do something they usually have have to collect her from whatever pigsty She passed out in if She hasnt stumbled her way back to the mansion. She is powerful already but she would be much more powerful if she spent some of her free time praying to Asmodeus for sweet battle boons like the rest of the party.

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>>54975940
The whole god thing just paints a big target on your back. Once you open your mouth every titan, demigod, and hero will want you to prove it. Better to coast under the radar. Sure my character could have declared himself a god, but as the Lord of Nightmares he gets all of the perks and none of the downsides.

There's probably someone better suited for the job.

>>54975940
He's an Exalt, being a God would be a downgrade.

>>54975940
The current one's doing a pretty good job, all things considered, so he doesn't bother. He's much more concerned with cataloging newly discovered magical species ever since that one crazy mage with the glass eye made a new continent and turned it into a safari.

>>54975940
because if I get shot enough, then I die.

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My character is kind of immortal already, the problem is that each time they die and are brought back, the demon they have a contract with steals one of their organs and eventually when they are out of organs the demon will be reborn in a physical form.

>>54978859
>Darkseid... is that all?
Isn't Darkseid's planet thing like half the size of Earth?

Three billion is a fair population for that size.

>>54975940
Therapy.

>>54975940
He's too busy making one.

he isn't a high enough level yet

>>54975940
Gods don't exist.

>>54975986
>>54975940
So is the source comic some anti-evolution comic written by someone who only knows anti-evolution memes?

>>54982809
>he doesn't know about Jack Chick
Oh, my sweet summer child.

>>54982809
Oh man are you in for some FUN.

Go google Jack Chick, and read his everything.
They're hilariously bad.

>>54978767
Well, Gods don't exist so Tyler can't become something that doesn't exist. His own logic prevents him from deification.

>>54982842
>They're hilariously good.

The everlasting love for the moral realm

>>54975940
His power comes from a god, so he could only ever become that strong if someone else killed his god and he inherited all it's power.

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>>54982809
One of these days I'm going to do a full storytime of Dark Dungeons, it's a hoot if you've never read any chick tracts

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>>54983534
Storytime some others as well. They're great.

One day I'm going to write a setting guide based on Jack Chick's work. All of it. As if it were all utterly, literally true.

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>>54983564
I'm mildly horrified but also intrigued

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>>54983599
It'd be a hell of an effort. He wrote a lot of things and not one of them makes any coherent sense.

>>54983564
Dude, the Mother Goddess Dark Future timeline that Jack Chick created is so over the top it's amazing. I'd love to play in that setting.

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>>54983623
I like the costumes the best.

>>54975940
He hasn't waken up

>>54983635
Make sure that turning in sickos for big rewards is a mechanic.

Anyway, how do you plan on creating such a wild setting guide?

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>>54983681
1. Read all the tracts, focusing on the international/historical ones. Take notes.
2. Write a blog post or three with excerpts and links. Then PDF it.
3. Profit? Or be brigaded by religious nuts.

>>54983613
I love how he attacks "invisible magic particles" to defend his invisible sky man.

>>54983635
Did the little hitler youth kid die offscreen? This is fucking amazing, thank you

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>>54983739
Yeah, that's only the start.

Jack Chick was, as far as I can tell, a maltheist. He believed in God alright, but his God was the God of the Right Team. There are plenty of other Gods - moon gods, buddahs, satan, etc - and they are also powerful. But his god is best because he's on the winning team.

It's not about love or justice or truth or anything. It's about Being On The Winning Team (and laughing at the losers).

>>54983775
I'm pretty sure it says right on the bottom of one of his tracts that Catholics are wrong because they think that doing good things helps you get into Heaven, when you literally just need to believe in his God and that's it.

He is very much all about being on the winning team.

>>54983613
Why does Lucy have a sassy walk?

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>>54983811
To be fair, that's /kind/ of a major point in the history of Christianity. Jack Chick didn't make it up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sola_fide

On the other hand... his take on the topic is unique.
>>54983820
She's a sassy lady.

>>54983820
She's got a bright future ahead of her

Terrible self esteem, bad self image/body complex, constant suicidal ideations, depression, and daddy issues.

>>54975940
A friendly murderer.

>>54983811
My favourite is the one where the child rapist goes to heaven while his priest goes to hell for believing in God wrong

>>54975940
The lack of a suitably weakened god he can go eat.

It's actually my character's main goal, to the point where he's capturing and brainwashing various clerics into believing he's the 'chosen one' carrying the same name as his totally-real god. Brainwashing them into believing in this fake 'Kaim', and using his own ur-priest powers to make miracles. Right now he's preparing a receptacle for power (XP, actually) to cast miracle through and turn it into a one-use, divinity-stealing sword. It's not as simple as that, but that's the short version.

So once he becomes a god, he'll have some high-level priestesses there to work for him.

>>54977351
>tfw you will never rise up as the Waste of Time

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>>54983564
Some madman put together a Dark Dungeons rpg.

>>54975940

Not being high enough level that becoming a demigod is the best way to serve my god.

>>54975940
Can't stop whackin' it. Everyone knows gods can't fap.

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He's working on it.

>>54977586
Why do we not have inquisitions anymore to deal with thee sorts of heathens.

>>54983613
>we have a vestigial penis
>points to a vestigial leg
Who the fuck hired that biology teacher

>>54975940
>What keeps your character from becoming a god
He's not a divine being, having no omnipotent power and is not as old as the universe.

Kind of a stupid question when you think about it.

>>54976781
Seconding that that's a cool as hell idea

>>54987412
are you a whale?

There are a fixed number of gods in the setting. To become a god, one of the existing gods must die. However, simply killing a god is rarely enough, because the god's power is inherited by the person most suited to that god's portfolio. There's also an overdeity (arguably the only "real" god in the setting, since he's the only one of them that is truly immortal) that makes sure no shenanagins circumvent the rules.

>>54975940
Cause im the DM in this one.
Actually running a campaign where my players are demigods with a fuck tonne of hubris.

>>54975940
Nuwalkers aren't stronk enough to curbstomp established gods unless they're literally dragons. Also a lack of ambition and having already boned the current plane's main goddess, when you can go anywhere in the multiverse for the sake of travelling, goddess' consort is a good enough title.

>>54975940
>vampire character
Sadly, when he got vamped, he ceased to be a mage. He's convinced that he can somehow regain his mortality, and thus his essential godhood. (Note: he is wrong, and will most likely commit suicide whenever he realizes this.)

The fact that I'd rather just go on exciting pirate adventures with me crew

>>54983564
As a fan of Egyptian history...this hurts me.

>But Egypt made a fatal mistake

Incest. Their fatal mistake was incest. Also trusting the Greeks. Never trust the Greeks, not even ones bearing gifts.

>And their rightful owner watched the Egyptians mistread His people for 400 years. Now He was going to stop it!

...he waited 400 years? Why?

>God's people left Egypt, and took her wealth with them. Egypt was destroyed.

...okay, let's accept the Ussher Chronology for a moment. Earth is 6,000 years old, give or take, and Exodus then happened around 1500 BC. This would be around the reign of Pharaoh Hatshepsut. Egypt would in fact still have a thousand years of glory and triumph (and tragedy and terror) ahead of it. Several of its greatest (or at least most meme'd) Pharaohs haven't even reigned yet - Thutmose III, Ramasses II, Akhenaten, Tutankhamun, Cleopatra VII, Amenhotep III...in fact a lot of these are Pharaohs from 1400 to 1200 BC, so one could actually argue that Egypt is about to enter into one of its most prosperous eras.

>Egypt is still Israel's enemy!

I don't know when this comic was published, but in fact since the late 70s Egypt is one of the few nations near Israel that is *not* its enemy, though I wouldn't call them close.

Also,

>Instead, God destroyed Hitler, and his dream!

...with the Soviet Union, an avowed atheist nation?

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>>54975940

>she isnt already

>>54988439
I love that comic.

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>>54976314
>"I don't believe in gods"
>"Well what about me? I'm a god"
>"We'll just have to fix that, now won't we?"

>>54975940
Because the last guy who tried got bitchslapped so hard by the actual God it left a collective mental scar on all living creatures.

Not to mention turning his Empire into an empty wasteland bereft of life, and thrice cursing anyone who steps foot onto those lands.

Which is why its totally a great place to seek treasure and riches.

>>54988575
Joke's on that god, I'm proficient in adventuring while walking on my hands! No curses for me, suckers!

>>54976381
Storytime please?

>>54975940
Campaigns never last to even close to max level and I'm not one of my DM's favorites so I'd never have narrative power like that.

Jack be nimble
Jack T. Chick
Jack be writing a pile of shit

>>54975940
She's a devout cleric of a goddess. No need to become one herself.

>>54976314
Gods dont die tho, thats part of the reason they are gods.

>>54991108
Only in SMT, which only makes them demon slaves and cumdumps.

>>54988430
He works in mysterious ways.
Especially when his will is being interpreted by a foaming lunitic

>>54975940
Isn't it every Tzeentchian's divine task to attempt to overthrow everything above them, even the Father of Lies?

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>>54983613
a scientifically accurate reply to that one

>>54975940
>Why would I want to be a god? It's a responsibility I wouldn't wish in my worst enemy. Can you imagine DIVINE PAPERWORK!?

>>54975940
Active disinterest in divine affairs. To be fair the gods were absent for quite some time and are only recently returned to a world that neither wants nor needs them anymore.

>>54979613
>calls himself the lord of nightmares
>doesn't expect to be slain by a kid on a whimsical adventure

>>54975940
Because he's seen where that leads. As tempting as it would be to create a perfect world for his people, he's ultimately trying to avoid madness, not flock to it.

>>54976381
>pledging loyalty to some math nerd

>>54992392
>>54979613

>calls himself the Lord of Nightmares
>doesn't expect to get used as a power source by That Girl

>>54975940
Other people.

>>54975940
Good taste, common sense, adherence to the setting, lack of interest in powergaming.

Does anyone have one of these one-image storytimes of dark dungeons

>>54992657
>My character doesn't want to become a good because he has GOOD TASTE and HATES POWER GAMING

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>>54975940
First, becoming a god is pretty difficult, if not impossible. (There is only the vague mentioning, that one minor god maybe was human before.)
Second, all the Main Gods have a archdemon, that is the corrupted version of their aspect. For example:
>God of Wisdom/Archdemon of Insanity
>Godess of Wine, Art and Kinky Shit/ Basicly what Slaanesh would be if xe was trying to impress Khorne, but less powerfull
Third, even if he would reach minor godhood somehow, I don't know what kind of god he would be, from his personality and skills, the God of tea partys, /ss/ and prose literature. Not that I would complain, if it would happen.

>>54988575
>an empty wasteland bereft of life, and thrice cursing anyone who steps foot onto those lands
That sounds like it's radioactive.

They became a god.
Then they got slapped around by the almighty storyteller/dm insert that is the multiversal nexus/font.

At least the campaign is over.

>>54993075
>god of /ss/
>he

So he's either a child fucking older women, or a Hitler youth?

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>>54993420
>So he's either a child fucking older women
He's Chad Thundercock, if Chad were underage and fucked adult women. Imagine being cucked by a guy who doesn't even have his adult teeth. That's basically the god of /ss/.

>>54992523
mein neger

>>54975940
She's a paladin, she already HAS a god

>>54977648
Even in 5e this is still true. The wizard, druid, and cleric are all the best.

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>>54995047
We shall reign forever, my full caster brethren!

>>54975940
If becoming a demon prince counts as becoming a god then about 63 infamy and 92 points corruption. I have a ways to go. Need to look unprotected into the warp.

>>54975940
The party was literally offered the option of becoming lesser deities as a reward for saving the universe. We did well, stopped the ascension of several different forces, and there were a ton of gods who died so someone had to take up their mantle. My character was the only member of the party who refused. He took the immortality and left the party to travel his own path. He's gone through so much. He's already got the child of the former archlich, a demigod, and a dragon to raise, being a god would be too much effort on top of all that.

>>54977924
It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it'd be pushing up the daisies!
Its metabolic processes are now history! It's off the twig!
Its kicked the bucket, It's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-MEME!!

>>54995047
Just recently, a wizard tried to cast a handful of spells on my monk. All failed, due to clever choices of feats and race. If the GM hadn't forgotten my turn entirely, said wizard would be paste, due to a maul double attack plus flurry of blows.

This is anecdotal evidence at best, and I know this, but I'll take my anecdotal evidence above your tier-system.

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>>54998290
and im so dumb i forget my image

>>54975940
Literally, a Jewish Conspiracy.

>>54988439
Before or after FLCL?

>>54992248
jesus christ this is fantastic, can't believe I've never seen it before

>>54975940
The Jewish slaves of the Archons entrap us in a world of sin and misery. We need to enact a revolution, kill the bankers and destroy this economic engine of greed and exploitation known as capitalism.

>>54998290
Which feats and race? Because if you tailor-make your character to kick mage ass, then it is indeed possible to kill them if you can get in rage.

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>>54992392
>calls himself the lord of nightmares
>doesn't expect to be slain by a kid on a whimsical adventure

That was how the campaign ended. The only pcs left were my character, a demigod, and the chosen one. Out of game I knew the little girl or boy would wreck me, but it felt thematically appropriate for my character to bite the dust. I was planning on betraying the lot of them once the big bad was gone.

>>54975940
Fucking off topic but how in the hell does evolution do away with morals? Wouldn't the exact opposite be true? The people whose morals better suit the group is able to live and reproduce with out the rest of them wanting to murder the jackoff.

>>54998734
Counterpoint: Jack Chick.
Checkmate, Hinduism.

>>54998734
That more describes behavior than biological evolution. What you're saying is probably true, but it isn't an example of evolution.

>>54983775
I mean, part of that is Biblical canon. There are indeed other spirits and so on, God being King among them

>>54977246
>DEUS VULT

Bopha Dies.

Talking to Kelemvor and finding out it's shit, mainly.

A couple things can stop a character from ascending:
- already existing gods might not want new members in the pantheon. Attempt to stop PC. Or gang up on them post ascension
- the amount of magic in the setting. Good luck becoming a god in a low magic world.
- GM doesn't want the campaign to get that far into planar scale threats. Talks with table and agrees to ban those books.

>>54975940
"The lack of any mechanism to propel them to godhood" is probably the main thing.

This question is a bit like asking "what's stopping them from living inside of the sun."

>>54999513
What is stopping them from living in the sun? I don't see any cops around.

>>54983564
Anybody sad there won’t be more chick tracks as Jack is with his faceless autistic demiurge now?

Mostly, I don't really feel like being gloriously incandescent. If there's one thing that could fuck up my innate nightvision, it's being turned into a star.

And that's ignoring the fact that the last group of guys what tried to make a god went and got Smith'd by it. Think I'll stick to the zee, thank you very much.

>>54975940
The GM, obviously. That little faggot doesn't tolerate any gods beside himself.

>>54975940
Nothing. She's a Shinto god.

As far as we know, all gods in the setting are ancient aliens, though some characters have achieved godlike status, and one of them wants my character's nubile young body for experimenting with And the DM seems to want my body too

>>54975940
that reminds me of my first PC, so I have to tell it, but since its long ill give the short version
long short story
>he was a farmer
>found a suit of armor and decided to adventure
>king sends party on a quest
>party decideds to betray kind instead, but I dont
>be a spy for a bit of the game
>get caught and leave
>officially become king's champion
>princess falls in love with me
>DM decides to add game breaking items, one is a sentient hand that rewrites time, and other transforms you into a god
>one of the PCs gets both of them and abuses them, he was someone who already abused crap, like he constantly froze time for 24 hours and ressurected himself, before getting both of them
>he loses them both somehow
>the hand attaches itself to me
>dont wanna use it because I hate crap like that
>rewrite time to help free king from immortality curse
>become king because time was rewritten
>the item that turns you into a god falls into my possession
>dont use the mask because its dangerous or whatever
>player who used to have both items attacks
>dont wanna get fucked over so I use the sentient hand to try and hide the god item
>sentient hand fucks me over and erases me from existance
>put on god item to try and stop hand
>turns out hand is some elder god or something
>somehow the spirit of the mask, the hand, and me fuse into one being
>fight BBEG and the hand takes me and the mask back to its realm
>epilogue has princess(now queen) make a deal with elder god hand to get me back
>we live happily ever after
it was a really stressful campaign because of that guy, so I just have to vent a little
but at the very beginning of the campaign, when the princess was mentioned I actually tried to avoid becoming prince because I didnt want to be that guy
I literally couldnt avoid becoming a king or a god
for all DMs, never put game breaking items in intentionally

>>54993420
Why not both?

>>54975940
He had it offered to him. Well, sort of, he kind of accepted, but also didn't accept the usual strictures of it (i.e. "grants spells"). Being divine is power, sure, but it's also just a bunch of weaker people begging him for magic and help. He got to where he is on his own power and with his own bravery and spirit, coming from virtually nothing. He won't parcel out his power to anybody who can't do the same and earn it in their own right. If people want to declare themselves clerics of him, then they can, but he provides them with no spells (he does protect them from harm in part though, as he has the domain of protection of travelers). Which is why most of his priests are technically bards.

>>54975940
My setting's chaotic evil god of blasphemy manages the cosmic dead letter office and intercepts all prayers to non-god entities, empowering himself and making sure that no mortals ever try to supplant him.

>>54980930
This happened during Final Crisis when he was reborn on Earth and took over in a matter of weeks. Presumably billions died.

>>54975940
My character will probably not stay alive long enough for technology to advance to time lord level.

>>54992248
Man, just how bad those nutjobs make the other people who believe in God look and feel.

The elves already tried it. That's why the only elves in my setting are dark elves, who try to conquer the surface by proxy and never leave the underground because they know what'll happen if they do.

>>54998290
Yuan-ti are not for real

>>54984166
A Dark Dungeon's esque plot hook would be awesome in something like Call of Cthulhu.

>PC's have to investigate and stop the mysterious RPG cult before they reach a critical mass of players/cultists by proxy and awaken some eldritch horror.

>>55002879
in the dark dungeons movie the entire point of the coven was to summon cthulhu...seriously

>>54976781
How did he reveal that info? At the beginning, somewhere in the middle, or already at epic levels?

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>>54988439
I hate that comic so so much

>>55002965
That's because you're a cynic.

>>54988430
>...with the Soviet Union, an avowed atheist nation?
that's what (((they))) want you to think

>>55003131
Not him, but I hate it for how it rips off FLCL

>>54993420
>>54993524
While that of course would be funny, he is actually 17, but looks very young and a bit androgynous and nobody in the party takes him serious and that he has a light faboulous attitude doesn't make it better.
>>55002143
If I think about it, he is the most patriotic member in the party and is kinda racist against the Not! Spanish People of the World.

>>55000429
No. The world is slightly cleaner with him gone.

>>54977351
I hope Homestuck had died on a Quest Bed. Instead it got stuck in some doomed timeline.

>>54988430
>Incest. Their fatal mistake was incest. Also trusting the Greeks. Never trust the Greeks, not even ones bearing gifts.
Especially the ones bearing gifts. Timeo danaos et dona ferentes, as some dude once said.

>>54975940
Because I hate stuck up assholes and that is what most gods are.

>>55004568
It's anyone's guess what Zeus would stick up your ass hole.

>>55002879
That could also work for Unknown Armies or Mage the Ascension.

>>54998633
Can I play in your Kult campaign? It sounds gloriously unhinged

>>54979613

Holy shit I loved Underworld Dreams.

Had a deck in high school that was all about being a dick to card draw.

Oh a simpler time.

>>54998734
Its like plebs hearing about nihilism, they think its all depression and suicide pacts but the reality is that you must do everything to be happy or you're just a retard wasting your own time. Because if nothing matters, everything matters to you.

>>54975940
The other gods who don't want anymore competition.

>>54975940
He's kinda in hell at the moment for telling his former god to stuff it when offered power in exchange for servitude.

However, there are a few people out there in the setting who view my former character as something of a pirate hero/prophet. Most people view him as a dangerous anarchist most likely though.

>>54983635
make sure to name the guy in the suit "harold penisman"

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>>54983703
But wait, wasn't YHVH originally just a minor war god?

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>>55012365
You can't talk sense with the kind of fundie that writes that kind of comic.

Most christians are chill, but fundies are a special breed of hellspawn. Pic related. Jesus was a fucking hippy, and would have hated American Evangelicals, particularly the assholes who scam money from people in the name of God.

I don't usually dickpunch people on principle, but Televangelists fucking deserve it.

>>55002917
Holy fucking shit you weren't kidding

>>54999250
I think he was more describing it as a consequence of evolution, especially when it comes to social animals.

>>54984166
The best part of that is that its actually a pretty good retro-clone.

>>55002661
Very, they make me feel very bad.

>>55013544
But that's wrong, anon. Jesus was sent to tell people the truth and "save the lost sheep of israel". In the famous case of the adulterous women, He says 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone'. Jesus, however, in no way condemns the stoning of the women itself, just the hypocrisy of the crowd.

Jesus is about saving your soul, even if he has to be the everliving life out of some people to do it.

>>55015209
You've got two Jesuses (Jesi?) at this point, honestly. You have the demure pacifist Jesus of modern christianity, and the biblical literalism Jesus.
Who is scary, honestly. "Turn the other cheek" doesn't mean let them hit you again, it means confront them in a way that if they hit you again they've challenged you to a fight. Then kick their ass if they try shit.

>>54975940
He knows the gods are awful and wants nothing to do with that. Plus he has to go home to his foster daughter, and he can't do that if he ascends

>>54975940
Everyone else who wants to become a god. But they won't stop him for long.

>>54998707
>zebra
>witch doctor
I get five Ancestral Guidance dice per long rest.
I wasn't tailoring him to kick mage ass, it just happened that way.

>>54988439
This comic is cute until you read all the other ones and learn that that kid is an omnipotent, callous god-child who probably created that meteor in the first place just so she could play baseball with the solar system.

He's not a full-caster.

Because he already is one.

>>55015209
>Jesus, however, in no way condemns the stoning of the women itself, just the hypocrisy of the crowd.
I didn't read it. Does he condemn them for being to happy about it? Otherwise it reads like a condemnation of the action of stoning itself.

>>55022395
One way of looking at it would have been that if he was happy about them executing her he would have just left them to it. Also when he addressed her after the men with rocks had left he addressed her in a manner that get's translated to woman but would maybe in modern English be better as lady. Possibly. Woman with respectful implications.

Also although he was unhappy with the want to kill in the mob he was also unhappy with her conduct and orders her to stop sinning.

So it would imply he was just unhappy with everyone involved, her for being a slut and them for being bloodthirsty.

Also when he started doodling in the dirt. They saw their sins in those scratches and left one by one, starting with the oldest. The ones who had lived long enough to have acquired more sins of their own.

>>54983703
wait, is the moon god thing real?

>>55022879
I'm no scholar, but Islam considers itself a Ambrahamaic faith; that is, they follow the same stories in the old testament as Christians and Jews.

It's highly likely that Mohammad did actually lift some or a good chunk of the Moon God's faces to represent Allah, but they're also definitely two separate gods. Sort of like how Jesus's birthday was messed with when integrating the pagans in Christianity, except even more vague because of the extreme Lawfulness of Islam as a faith combining with the mystic sort of haze it likes to surround itself with.

Someone better qualified than me can probably tell you how retarded I am though.

>>54987333
Because you'd be a target, too?

>>54975940
Becoming a god is a trivial as creating a religion that worships you as one.

>>55023032
Same god tho. Jesus is still seen as very important prophet and consider themselves veneration the same god as jews and christians. So Islam considers Allah (God) the same higher being as Jehova.
There are difference tho. No trinity stuff, more moon analoge than sun analoge.
However Judaism has nothing of the three. Thus if you claim that the Islamic deity is not the same as the Christian you also have to agree that the Jewish is different from the Christian. As christianity grew out of Judaism venerating the same god, this would then be a contradiction as said god would be different and the same.

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>>55023032
I'd say, by the standards of /tg/'s usual take on history, that's pretty accurate. Religion is always messy and weird and you can take bits of it out of context to make your stuff seem good. See: Jesus is a zombie, Jesus is Mithras, etc.

>>54983811
To be fair, that part is biblically accurate. Christians SHOULD be doing good deeds, but because they are good people and thats what God wants them to do, not because those good deeds are your ticket to heaven.

That said, to stay on-topic

>>54975940
he already is one. After a long campaign where we fought Vecna and a demon lord to save another deity, my Lich Warlock himself ascended to godhood to take Vecna's place.

He promptly started antagonizing the deity thereafter, because he assumed that's just part of the job.

When he's not doing that, he's sleeping in his cardboard box, because he was a hobo before this whole mess started and a hobo he remains through and through.

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>>55023627
Lich-chan's Everyday Life?

>>55023652
I wans't aware this was even a thing.

He wasn't anime or anything, he was just a hobo who developed dementia and slight insanity from making one too many pacts with (relatively) minor outer entities. He remembered he started making pacts to gain immortality, lichdom, and power, but he couldn't remember why anymore and mostly followed the party around to help them save the world because he had nothing better to do. That helping the party ended up achieving his goals was just a happy accident.

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>>55023627
>To be fair, that part is biblically accurate. Christians SHOULD be doing good deeds, but because they are good people and thats what God wants them to do, not because those good deeds are your ticket to heaven.

All I'm going to point out is that we've had dozens of actual wars on the topic and we are no closer to reaching a consensus.

Not internet wars. Real wars.

Once you find the truth in religion it becomes impossible to see the other views. It's not like enjoying pizza while your neighbor enjoys donairs. It's like... you know that one coworker who just doesn't "get" computers and gets viruses every few days and does all their math by hand and puts things into an excel sheet manually? You know that feeling?

Or moving in next to a sex offender who is unlikely to reoffend.

That's the feeling. When people talk about "tolerance" these days, they really mean "I don't care." It's really easy to be tolerant of something you don't give a fuck about, from prayer mats to tithes.

But when it's something you do care about, and you have to put up with it anyway... that's tolerance. Or the start of a pogrom.

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>>55023952
And for the rest of the comic.