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Field Kit Inspection: Gang Pressed Edition

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Thread replies: 347
Thread images: 11

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Form up men, neat and orderly!

Now then, onto the matter at hand. As you are all likely aware, our regiment has taken heavy casualties over the past few campaigns. We've taken so many infact, that command has been unable to keep up with our reinforcement requests.

Because of this, as well as the fact that our once glorious ship, the Eagle's Fury, is now in a decaying orbit, where it will eventually spiral out, and burn up mid atmosphere. Our current objectives are as follows: First, find a source of new recruits. I hear that press hanging is rather effective in the navy. And two, find out what planet we're even on. That sudden evacuation from the ship, was quite the panic, so long range communications is near out of the question. And three. Find somewhere to stay, before we all freeze to death, on this barren ice world.

Now, to keep our minds off the cold. I am calling for a suprise and mandatory, field kit inspection, to assess our current supplies.

So, all hands, present arms and equipment, for a Field Kit Inspection!

>Welcome to ''Field Kit Inspection", home of the 'Unknown Regiment". Feel free to join in! Remember though, we tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, while greentexts for are used for describing a character's actions. D20s are for combat checks and d100s for other things you wish to roll, with higher being better.
>>
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>>54969960
I AM PRESENT SIR!
I AM FULLY READY TO DO MY PRIESTLY DUTIES!
*presents his eviscerator and holy banner*
>>
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>>54969960
>Meanwhile Ars is fixing his ship
What?...Oh, of course honorable commissar, I'll do my best
>Continues working while grumbling about the priest
>>
I think we can start a fire to keep us warm using some paperwork. We can start off with pension records, since none of us are gonna be needing them anymore.
>>
>>54969960
Third company, reporting in, Commissar! We currently stand at 1/10th strength, and are missing all but two officers.

Second company is missing entirely, same with fifth and sixth companies. Seventh armoured company at full strength, eighth is missing all its officers, same with 10th and twelfth companies.

Fourth company is standing at quarter strength, and is down to three officers. First company is at 20%, and down to four officers.
>>
>>54970020
NO NEED TO SOUND SO DOWN CAPTAIN!
THIS IS A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY!
WITH OUR PERCIEVED WEAKNESS, HERETICS ARE SURE TO THINK US EASY TARGETS!
LITTLE WOULD THEY KNOW, THE LOYAL ARE ALWAYS STRONG!
>>
>>54969960
GO BACK TO QUEST FAGGOTS !
>>
>Dunston would sit on a dead piece of woo, shivering as the cold gales went by

>I'd be rubbing two sticks together, trying to get a fire going
>>
>>54970002
THE ONLY THINGS WE WILL BE BURNING ARE CALORIES!
THIS EXREME ENVIROMENT IS A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO BUILD YOUR STRENGTH!
>>
Hmm wing is fixed, yes...
>Sets up a table
Ear muffs, warm ear muffs for sale! Also selling beanies and a portable gas plate!
>>
>>54970205
>the man drops a lit match on a large pile of papers and dead wood
I'm sorry I missed that
>>
>>54970272
WHAT I AM SAYING DEAR LOYAL SERVANT OF THE EMPEROR, IS THAT WE SHOULD TAKE THIS GRAND OPPORTUNITY THE EMPEROR HAS BLESSED US WITH TO GAIN OUR STRENGTH!
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>I'd attempt to create a fire for everyone on the cold planet
>>
>Takes a weird, imperial green device from his ship
Hmm, let's hope this distress beacon still works, yes...
>Rolling whether or not it works, 50+
>>
>>54970415
NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR FIRES!
NOW IS THE TIME FOR GLORIOUS ADVENTURE!
WE MUST GO AND DISCOVER LOST SECRETS ON THIS BARREN ROCK!
FOR THE EMPEROR!
NOW WHOSE WITH ME!
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>54970466
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>54970466
>I'd attempt to fix the distress beacon, hoping it will work
>>
>>54970491
>>54970479
>Squats by his fire, lho stick in one hand and a bottle of amasec in the other
Well, looks like we live here now boys.
>>
>>54970479
Hmm, seems like no, are there any tech priests still alive?
>>
>>54970508
Great. Just fuckin' great. We're stuck here, prolly' gonna die here too.
>>
Shas'ui Han'zo ready to serve !
>>
>>54970508
*tears off some cloth from his robes and wraps it around a stick, then douses the thing in prometheum and lights it*
NOW WE ADVENTURE!
WE MUST FIRSTLY FIND SOME NEW RECRUITS, AND THEN FIND OUT WHERE WE ARE!
MY TORCH REPRESENTS THE EMPERORS LIGHT!
WHILE IT BURNS, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
FOLLOW ME
>>
>>54970535
No if we don't fix it
>>54970548
Ah honorable t'au, can you fix this distress beacon?
>>
>>54970551
I'd rather wallow here then leave an aesthetic skeleton for some rogue trader to find a thousand years from now thanks.
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>54970568
I am no Earth Caste but I might try
>rolling to repair the distress beacon
>>
>>54970598
Hmm I thought enclave abolished the caste system, but anyways nice job, let us activate it, yes.
>>
>>54970598
*snatches it from him*
NOW IS NO TIME TO LEAVE!
WE HAVE OUR ORDERS AND WE SHALL DO THEM!
NOW, LETS FIND A NEW SOURCE OF RECRUITS!
>>
>>54970598
Huh, nice work. Maybe there's hope after all. Send a distress broadcast to all outlying areas, maybe an imperial cruiser can pick us up.
>>
>>54970618
We didn't abolished caste, we abolished limitations of activity between caste, anyway let's get out of here
>>54970624
A "thank you" won't burn your tongue gue' la
>>
>>54970624
Erm honorable priest, were on a frozen planet, there are no recruits here since there are no humans, and first we must find out in which system we are in a first place
>>
>>54970624
If you wanna run off into the tundra and freeze to death you can go for it, I'm gonna wait here for rescue
>>
>>54970674
THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE WRONG!
THE IMPERIUM OF MAN STRETCHES THROUGHOUT ALL OF KNOWN SPACE!
THERE HAVE BEEN COLONISATION EFFORTS ON PLANETS FAR MORE INHOSPITABLE THAN THIS ONE!
THERE IS ALMOST CERTAINLY A FAILED COLONY SHIP, SOMEWHERE.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND IT!
>>
>>54970728
And you will keep the beacon until we find it, yes?
>>
>>54970762
THIS IS CORRECT

*the priest would wander off into the icy hellscape, cheerily chanting praises to the emperor*
>>
>>54970728
Do not mistake hope for desillusion , even Orks wouldn't survive on this ice world
So keep your words for your self or go alone
>>
>>54970779
>>54970787
>>54970692
Sigh, let's follow him, so we can at least take the beacon from his body after his inevitable demise
>>
>>54970779
>watches the priest walking into the snow
I give him an hour
>>
>>54970787
*calls back*
GOOD POINT!
IF YOU SEE AN ORK, KILL IT!
>>
>>54970805
This is foolish
I'd shoot him in the head and take that damn beacon
>>
>>54970836
*calls back*
NOBLE SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR!
I THINK I FOUND SOMETHING!
>>
>>54970836
So you are going to shoot a priest in front of the already zealous guardsmen?
>>54970855
What is it?
>>
>>54970873
ITS A 20 METRE THICK WALL OF ICE!
I THINK THIS MIGHT BE A MESSAGE!
GRAB A TORCH AND HELP ME MELT IT!
>>
>>54970886
Honorable priest, there are walls of ice everywere on this planet, what makes this one special?
>>
>>54970873

The commissar do the same with troopers, ain't it ?
>>
>>54970900
I FOUND IT
THATS WHAT!
NOW STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND MOVE THE CAMP FIRE OVER HERE!
*he shouts from a quarter of a mile away*
>>
>>54970907
You do understand that there's a difference between commissar executing a priest, and "officialy" regular guardsman doing it?
>>54970919
>Points a two guardsmen huddling near the fire
Go help your priest, yes
>>
>>54970919
YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP A FIRE YOU DIPSHIT
>>
>>54970958
WHAT WAS THAT?
I CANT QUITE HEAR YOU?
ANYWAY GRAB A FURE STICK AND HELP ME MELT THIS WALL!
FOR THE EMPEROR!
>>
>>54970956
What if I wear a big hat like the commissar ?
>>
>>54970983
I WILL EXECUTE YOU
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>54970974
>stubs out his lho stick on the wall, then looks into it
If we're lucky there might be some animal that got frozen in here we can eat. If not we're gonna have to jump van Kleez whilst he's passed out
>rolling to look for something in the ice
>>
>>54970983
If you think you can get away with pretending to be a commissar, be my guest, yes
>>54970997
>Couple of guardsmen bring torches to the crazed priest
>>
Rolled 59 - 30 (1d100 - 30)

>>54971036
NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR FOOD!
THE LIGHT OF THE EMPEROR SUSTAINS THE LOYAL!
*roll to attempt to melt the wall of ice with a torch*
>>
>>54971065
Might as well help him, i got nothing better to do
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>54971118
forgot to roll
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>54971065
>Throws a fucking krak grenade at the ice
>>
>>54971196
>the grenade lands at the foot of the wall, then detonates. A web of cracks spirals up the height of the wall, before it cascades down, showering all near it with ice shavings. A large pile of ice blocks seem to be covering a hole in the ground where the wall once stood
>>
>>54971324
>I'd enter the hole, my plasma gun drawn
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>54971324
>Comes closer to observe what's inside
>Ars's artificial eye scans the cave
>>
>>54971336
>the hole seems to be blocked by yet more ice. It would likely take a great deal of strength to move the blockage, or a decent amount of heat to melt it
>>54971363
>the scan reveals nothing. It seems to be just a mundane hole
>>
>>54971363
*the priest would exclaim and ramble about the emperor, before dropping his torch down the hole to see how deep it was*
>>
>>54971372
Well there's more ice...
>>
>>54971381
>The torch hits the ground, revealing it to be only a few feet deep. The torch illuminates a small tunnel blocked by opaque ice, with the Kasrkin sergeant stood in front of it
>>
>>54971393
>>54971414
YOU SEE MEN!
THE EMPEROR GUIDES US THIS DAY!
NOW, IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR WE SHALL DESTROY THIS MEEK BLOCKAGE!
CALL THE REST OF THE REGIMENT OVER AND TELL THEM TO BRING LASGUNS!
THE POWER OF THE MIGHTY LASGUN SHALL MELT THIS FEEBLE KCE!
>>
>>54971414
Well, what are we waiting ?
>he jump in the hole, his pulse pistol drawn and ready to shoot
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>54971414
>I'd place another Krak grenade at the base of it, then wading everyone back
Take cover!
>>
>>54971481
GOOD GOING MAN!
THOUGH YOU DONT NEED TO WASTE GRENADES!
THE EMPEROR GAVE US LASGUNS FOR A REASON!
>>
>>54971481
>The grenade blasts the ice wall with a deafening blast, blowing ice chunks throughout the tunnel. When the smoke clears, a small tunnel is revealed, with a steep downwards gradient.
>>
>>54971481
>The grenade would clear the ice completely, allowing further access into the cave, whilst the torch was now destroyed enough light remained to see that the cave contained a single small creature, coated in ice further down the cave.
>it was getting dark now, the ice planet would soon get much, much colder
>>
>>54971595
Hmm, let's set up a camp here, in case blizzard will start during the night, yes
Also, what is that?
>>
>>54971595
>>54971559
Alright, looks like we found dinner. Someone grab the rest of the men and get them in here, we can explore that tunnel later once we're more set up here
>>
>>54971626
HOLD ON THERE!
WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS!
IT COULD BE POISIONOUS!
IT COULD BE... HERETICAL!
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>54971683
It could be Hive Tyrant in a Battlesuit I wouldn't care at all, let's go !
>he go down the stairs
>rolling for perception
>>
>>54971595

>Descending into the cave, attempts to inspect the small creature.
>>
>>54971595
Wait, hang on
>Takes a flashlight out of his robe
>Shines it at the creature
>>
>>54971595
Looks like some creature in hibernation. Don't touch it, or it's mother will come for us, and I'm not joking about that.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>54971729
I ACTUALLY KNOW A GREAT WAY TO ROAST A TYRANID BUT THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT!
OUR ONLY CHOICE IS TO PRAY TO THE EMPEROR FOR A SIGN!
OH MIGHTY EMPEROR!
PLEASE, REVEAL TO ME THE NATURE OF THIS CREATURE!
I PRAY FOR YOUR DIVINE GUIDANCE!
>>
>>54971771
>>54971735
THE EMPEROR SAYS DO WHAT YOU WANT!
HE TRUSTS OUR JUDGEMENT!
>>
>>54971750
>A faint noise could be heard from under his feet, as if it was tunnelling underneath the regiments feet
>as this noise grew, the top of the ice would cave in, trapping the regiment inside the cave
>>
>>54971771
*Squeak?*
>The tiny rodent like creature would run off, deeper into the cave. Its body acting similar to that of a squirrel in motion.
>>
>>54971992
...well that's great...
>>
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>>54971992
Motherfucker. Alright team, flashlights on, guns at the ready. Don't slack.
>>
>>54971992

>Frowning, an expression of concern appears on his face.
>>
>>54971992
>Up above, and outside the cave. Innumerable footsteps could be heard, alongside innumerable voices.

Ork, Orks, Orks, Orks, Orks, Orks, Orks! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
>This is occasionally followed up, by the sounds of an explosion, as the footsteps move off into the distance.
>>
>>54971992
>>54972042
Alrighty, looks like we live here now.
>the man squats down on the floor and retrieves another lho stick from within his coat
>>
>>54972041
>the creature would know exactly what was about to happen, and flee before becoming a snack to an ever hungry predator.
>The shaking would suddenly stop.
>Right beneath the regiments feet.
>>
>I'd stand in silence, trying to hear any faint noises
>>
>>54972042
>>54972072
With Orks...
Ah well
>Places gas-plate
Now, we either melt the ice or search the cave
>>
>>54972080
>the man slowly puts one ear to the ground
>>
>>54972092
>........
>nothing
>whatever it was had stopped, suddenly in its tracks
>>
>>54972127

>Wary of the odd shaking, attempts to stay very still.
>>
>>54972127
Everyone, stay on your toes!
>>54972141
Conscript!
>I'd throw a motion tracker to the man
Place that on the ground at your feet!
>>
>>54972127
Hmm, something is here, yes
>>
>>54972141
*even the priest would be smart enough to know that now was not the time for a dramatic speech*
>>
>>54972150

>Very slowly reaching down, attempts to activate the Tracker while making as little movement as possible.
>>
>>54972166
*roll to avoid alerting the "thing" beneath your feet*
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>54972198
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>54972198
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>54972198
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>54972198
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>54972234
>Suddenly and without warning, a gigantic blue shelled Mawloc would burst directly out from under the mans feet, attempting to swallow him whole!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54972265
>Getting out of the way quickly, I'd fire my plasma gun into it's face!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>54972265
Dammit!
>Ars attacks mawloc with an aether sword
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>54972265

>Attempting to draw a bead on the monster, fires his Las, hoping to hit something Vital.
>>
>>54972288
>the beast would dodge the shot and bury itself back under the ice, quickly escaping from the combat
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>54972265
>having been sitting against the wall smoking a large blunt since they entered the cave, he fumbles with his hotshot laspistol and fires it at the tyranid
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>I'd throw another krak grenade at the rubble, attempting to break out of the cave
>>
>>54972329
NO USE MAN!
STAY ALERT!
IT COULD STRIKE AGAIN AT ANY MOMENT!
ALSO WE SHOULD NAME IT.
*whispers*
And stay very still
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>54972265
>fires his las pistol at the worm
>>
>>54972308
>Aether blade malfuntions and doesn't work anymore
Oh that's just great
>>
>>54972321

>Holds a finger to his lips, indicating for everyone to stay still and silent.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>54972350
>the shot would hit the ice, the Tyranid itself being underground at the time
>>54972345
>The man would keep drawing attention to himself with a large yet failed explosion.
>the Mawloc would erupt from under him to attempt to swallow the man
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>54972394

>Attempts to fire another Las shot at the Mawloc's Vital areas.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>54972394
>Just before the Mawloc would tear my left arm off, I'd lob a krak grenade down it's gullet
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>54972394
>Ars throws the broken energy sword at the mawloc
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>54972418
>the Mawloc would spit out its victim with force after the hit and flee the scene.
>roll to damage the karskin
>>
>The Kasrkin would be sent to the ground, rolling on the hard gravel
>He'd be missing his left arm, and is bleeding badly
>>
>>54972492

>Disregarding semblance of quiet, quickly makes his way over to the fallen Kasrkin, in an attempt to aid him.
>>
>>54972492
JOLLY GOOD SHOW MAN!
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>54972492
>Walks towards the karskin and tries to bandage him
>Rollin'
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>54972492
>the man rushes over, and tries to perform first aid
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>54972558
NO NEED FOR THAT MAN!
THE EMPEROR HIMSELF SHALL HEAL THIS MAN!
*roll for divine intervention*
*100+ needed to succeed*
>>
>>54972558
>Ars' bandaging skills were shit, but
>>54972585
>Viktor managed to keep me alive, stopping the bleeding and bandaging me up good
>I'd look Viktor in his face, smiling
I owe you a drink now, dammit.
>>
>>54972492
>grabbing an handful of ice and a bottle of strange gel borrowed from van Kleez whilst he was passed out, the man rubs the gel, then the ice on the stump, before tightly wrapping it in a bandage.
You'll be fine for now, but you need a doctor soon
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>54972613
>an image of the emperor would appear to all, his saintly visage clearly visible.
>his holiness would manifest a golden hand of light that moved close to the karskin
>but the hand would turn to a boot, and suddenly kick the man in the testicles
>the visage would disappear as soon as it came
>>
>>54972702

>Flinches in pity, and sends a not-so-subtle Glare at the Priest.
>>
>>54972702
>the man nearly vomits upon hearing the sickening crunch
>>
>>54972702
Well that happened...
>>
>>54972724
The... the Emperor has...
Spoken?
>>
>>54972743

>Stares, before shaking his head in mild disapproval, before turning to the downed Kasrkin and attempting to apply Ice to the poor man's crotch.
>>
>>54972763
W-well I say that we should look for food...
And maybe something to burn?
What about you?
>>
>>54972813
>Looks at the karskin
Yes, we should, that little rodent couldn't have went too far, so who's also going?
We have a plate to prepare it, yes...
>>
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>>54972702
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>54972857
R-right...
Well I say we should split up.
Half of us prepare the camp and the rest of us can hunt for food.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>54972879

>Getting to his feet, attempts to set rolls of blankets down as bedding.

>He also attempts to scavenge for flammable materiel.

>Roll to find Fuel for fire.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>The Kasrkin attempt to start a fire from pure rage and contempt
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>54972726
Uhh... come with me victor...
We are the two least qualified to hunt for food so we should be the ones doing it clearly.
*roll to see if I can find molly deep in the cave, away from camp*
>>
>>54972879
Yes, priest will lead the hunters, while I set up a camp
>Takes out some cloth and pillows out of his robes
>Takes out sticks and Sheets of cloth for tents
>Takes out two more gas-plates
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>Headbutts the ice, attempting to start a fire
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>54972979
If you say so
>rolling to find moss growing on the walls to lick or something
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>54972979
>I'd fire my las-gun at the back of the priests head, for getting the emperor to kick me in the balls
>>
Lit's up a gas-plate
>>54972987
Erm honorable karskin, it would be better for you to sit down,yes
>>
>>54973003
*the priest would be struck in the back of the head, shocked that a member of the regiment would betray him*
*he would be silent for a moment, before falling to the ground and out of sight*
"FUCKING HERETIIIIIICCCSSS"
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>54973058
>>54973003
Oh for fucks sake
>rolling to try and find the priest
>>
>>54973058

>Having not see who had fired, is nonetheless perturbed, though not upset at the Priest's disappearance.
>>
>>54973058
>Is amazed at the sheer ballistic resistance the back of that mans head has, and is shocked as to how he survived that, and not only surviving it, but acting like it was just a rock to the back of his head
>>
>>54973081
*the priest would be lying on his front, severe burns on the back of his head*
>>
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>>54972418
>>54972427
>The Praetorian Officer would pat both the meb on the back, as the Tyranid bip-organisim fell to their combined attacks.

Nice work you two. You make a damn good team!
>>
>>54973340

>Unable to help but blush under the praise, keeps on his attempt to organize a camp in the cold cave.
>>
>>54973340
Erm honorable capaitn, where did you come from?
>Hooded figre would ask, suprised while setting up a camp
>>
>>54973340
>As he passes by the two troopers, he would make a mental note that, should the rest of the reigment make it out of this alive. He would personally put them both in for a commendation.

Let's keep moving lads. If this thing was digging these tunnels. It had to be doing it for a reason. Perhaps it leads somewhere like an old settlement.
>>
>>54973340
CAPTAIN THE TRAITOR HAS ATTACKED ME!
EXECUTE THE HERETIC!
>>
>>54973375
My men and I, scouted out a side passage a few moments before the attack. I figured it might lead somewhere.

>The officer would frown slightly.

Unfortunately, it didn't. But this way should it seems.
>>
>>54973418
>Looks at the massive wall of ice behind him
There's an exit near, wonderful!
So anyways, we are setting up a camp for the night
>>54973390
Erm honorable priest, can you give me back the distress beacon?
>>
>>54973418

>Quietly voices his concerns about the lack of heat, as he can already see many Generic Guardsmen starting to shiver and weaken.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>54973098
*the priest would stagger up to his feet, and charge the traitorous worm*
*roll to execute the heretic*
>>
>>54973454
I'm working on it!
>Lighs up a gas-plate
Here, this should be enough heat to survive the night
>Takes out a set of blakets
Also this
>>
>the man's face is poking out of a cocoon of blankets, a small pile of ashes and lho butts in front of him
I'm hungry
>>
>>54973501

>Shivers, before huddling closer to the gas-plate.

>Also, takes several blankets, butting them down as bedding on the cold ground.
>>
>>54973535
>Searches his robe
Hmm, don't have any, somebody need to go hunting
And get the distress beacon from the priest...and get him here before he freezes, yes
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>54973535
*the priest would attempt to find food*
>>
>>54973390
>>54973098
>Upon seeing the morale shattering infighting between both the regimental priest, as well as the Kasrkin. The Commissar would do what he does best.
>He would pull forth his bolt pistol, and would fire off two shots. One towards each of their heads.
>The echo of the shot would ring out through the tunnel system, before being quickly followed up, by the sounds of blood and gore, splattering against the cold tunnel walls.

Now then... If anyone else wishes to commit to such childish behaviour, I am more than willing to provide the necessary punishment.
>>
>>54973733

>Heart quaking, feels deep terror at the executions.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>while the others are alternately discussing, fighting and shivering, Van Kleez has dropped a large hit of Satrophine
>he crawls out into the snow, armed only with an icepick, to hunt the largest vaguely-edible beast he can find
>rolling for success
>>
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>>54973733
The junior officer behind the commissar would stand, his eyes widened by the act of authority
>The man would speak in a posh british accent
By george sir, you certainly showed them!
>>
>>54973733
>After execution Ars would wait when Commissar turns back and will attempt to get the distress beacon
>>
>Ars picks up the distress beacon from the priests body and heads back to the camp
>>
>>54973826
>makes his way over, still in the cocoon
You grab the beacon I'll search their pockets
>>
>>54973792
By the Emperor! Another Praetorian? And here of all places? What company are you with? Which spire are you from?

>For the first time in weeks, Matthias looks happy about something.
>>
>>54973905
Oh well, sir I was with the seventh company! We surely got the good end of the stick didn't we? Shame about the others...
>>
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>>54973905
HELLO GREAT FRIENDS YES I COME TO JOIN REGIMENT INDEED
>>
>>54973769
Relax trooper. He doesn't do that as much as you would think.

>He would pat the man on the back. His voice as calm and soothing as possible, given the circumstances.

Infact, that's prehaps the twelfth time, in the year since he joined up, that he's executed anybody.
>>
>>54973928
A tanker? By the saints! I'm surprised we haven't met before! Which tank do you command? What varient is it? He'll, what pattern is it?
>>
>>54973901
>Picks up the beacon
Sure, go ahead
>Goes to the camp beacon while holding the beacon
>>
Rolled 14, 13, 20, 16, 18, 10, 17, 14, 8, 19 = 149 (10d20)

>>54973942
>seeing this foul xeno, they all open fire.[100 guardsmen = 10 per roll]
>>
>>54973971
I AM THE LANK LEMAN RUSS YES
>>
>>54973971
Ah, well! I commanded a Leman Russ Executioner, Ryza pattern! Unfortunately, it is currently under maintenance right now, after a rather rude tyranid fleet decided to shoot at it! Ha!
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>54973942
OH SHIT IT'S BACK SHOOT IT SHOOT IT NOW FUCK FUCK FUCK
>>54973986
>whilst screaming the man rummages through the pockets of the recently executed men
>rolling for loot
>>
>>54973998
>the men would be executed for firing upon a perfectly ordinary leman russ before they could damage it
>>
>>54973942
>he drags a pathetically small mole rat, covered in many tiny holes, through the snow
>seeing the newcomer, he rests his head in his hands and groans
By the Throne, not again...
>>
>>54974008
I feel your pain, Lieutenant. I truely do. I myself lost most of my company's just attempting to escape that wretched planet's surface.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>54974018

>Resolve shaken by the recent Executions, valiantly attempts to fire on the Xeno.
>>
>>54974023

>hearing bullshit xeno lies they severely damage it with their ineffective laser pointers
>>
>>54974023
>While walking to the outside with the beacon he looks at Spite
Feh, who knew it'll get smarter
>Continues going
>>
>>54974046
My team and I were firing upon the fleet bombarding the planet. Just a shame we couldn't fix bayonets eh? Haha!
>>
>>54974048
I DO SAY GOOD CHAP I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU WOULD NOT ATTACK ME SO YHES!
>>
>>54974080
Well what a ride for a simple beacon innit ?
>>
>>54974051
*the men would not understand why they were executed, but they would deserve it*
>>
>Places down a distress beacon and activates it
Now we wait...
>>54974109
It's a distress beacon
>>
>>54974138
I know, I repeared it myself
>>
>>54974123
>>54974100
THE XENO TALKS, DO NOT LISTEN TO ITS HERESY, ATTACH BAYONETTS AND CHARGE

[first 5 for las, second five for bayonets]
>>
>>54974094
Did you try ordering a "First rank! Fire! Second rank! Fire!", By any chance?

>He would chuckle at the Praetorian joke.
>>
>>54974207
*the men would no nothing but question how a leman russ got down here*
>>
Rolled 11, 17, 5, 15, 15, 5, 18, 14, 13, 10 = 123 (10d20)

>>54974207


>>54974230
>a few would look for the leman russ and find it crushed under the giant xeno, before resuming fire
>>
>>54974223
That was plan B! Ha!
>>
>>54974223
>through the commbead
That was really funny my Capitain but maybe it would be wiser to get out of here
>>
>>54974253
*The men would continue their day, shivering in the cold.
Not doing much in particular*
>>
>>54974138
>the man exits the cave, emptying two wallets into his own and a motley collection of knick knacks from two bags into his briefcase
Shit sure was getting wild down there huh.
>>
>>54974269
after the hits had struck the un-moving beast and killed it, they would all celebrate and continue on with their day. very happy.

WELL DONE BOYS, ONE MORE DEAD XENO
>>
>Ars sits in the snow watching the stars while waiting for the ship
>He takes out a thermos
>Pours some hot chocolate and sips it
>>
>>54974048
>>54974080
>the sudden urgency vaguely bringing him to his senses (insofar as he has them), he claps the men on the shoulder
Lads, it h-has come to my attention that there is a giant beasty *cough* attempting to make polite conversation with a firing squad. What, would y-you suggest, should we do? Personally, I think cigars and whiskey while waiting f-for this to blow over is *wheeze* tactically the best option.
>>
>>54974302
*The men would cough slightly before spite addressed them*
SO WHO WANTS TO PLAY POKER?
>>
>>54974321
>Drinks hot chocolate
Let them do whatever they want, I'll wait for the rescue
>>
>>54974321
>the man shouts down his vox
I thing you should bring those things up here so we can use them for the rescue shuttle that those other assholes are gonna miss
>>
>>54974321

>Groans from the biting cold, curling up on his makeshift bed of Blankets.
>>
>>54974320
Can I have some, sound tasteful !
>>
>>54974396
I WOULD ALSO ENJOY SOME
>>
>>54974396
>PLaces down some mugs
>Places down thermos
Go ahead
>Checks tablet
Well my shuttle is fixed, no fuel to fly with though
>>
>>54974410
No fuck you, you are a Tyranids
>>
>>54974434
THAT IS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE!
WHAT HAVE TYRANIDS EVER DONE TO YOU?
>>
>>54974432
Thank you
>serve a mug
>>54974497
I've fought Tyranids on the Enclave
Nasty Beast they are and you fool nobody fucking bug
>>
>>54974348
>he settles down next to the merchant and pours himself a mugful
Yeah, that *hack* doesn't sound l-like such a bad plan. Any idea when - or, uh, if, we're g-gonna get picked up.

>>54974368
>he picks up the handset
Get the fuck down here m-man, you gotta be *cough* freezing your r-robodick off up there. We got cocoa.

>>54974381
>he plonks a mug of cocoa, a cigar and a lighter down in front of the conscript
Drink up, my boy. We'll be outta here soon.
>>
>>54974555
THIS IS AN UNFAIR JUDGEMENT! I DO NOT HAVE GENITALS!
*proceeds to swallow the karskin whole*
>>
>>54974556

>Slowly sipping the warm drink, he feels all the calmer, the smell of the chocolate mix taking him back to simpler times as a child.

>Pockets the lighter for a later time, thinking it useful.
>>
>>54974556
Cocoa? Shit son.
>the man practically sprints down the hole
>>
>>54974606
I can't wait for the ship to come
>>
>>54974556
We can hope that someone will pick us up, even then it'll take time with warp travel, so unless you can find some plasma to fuel my ship, we'll just have to wait
>Takes a sip
>>
>>54974556
>The Sergeant's vox caster would begin picking up a strange transmission from what would appear to be high orbit, although all that's coming in, appears to be static.
>>
>>54974638
DOES BLOOD PLASMA COUNT?
>>
>>54974711

>Curiosity peaked, asks Van Kleez if he can try to clear up the signal.
>>
>>54974734
No
>>54974711
Who's calling
>Takes a sip
>>
>>54974638
Eh, guess we d-don't have much choice.

>>54974628
Haha, reckoned that'd bring you do-

>>54974711
Hm? Whadda we got here?
>he twiddles a couple of dials and picks up the handset
This is [Unknown Regiment], First and Third c-companies, do you copy, over?
>>
>>54974773
Hit it with your fist, that'll fix it.
>>
>>54974837
HIT IT WITH YOUR TUNNELING CLAWS
>>
>>54974773
>The signal doesn't come through the clearest, but he can make out some of what's being said in low gothic.

*Static* -iser- *static*... -ected yo- *static of incomprehensibleness* -ition un- *SO MUCH STATIC!* -Say aga- *Oh god Daddy! Choke with all this static!* -ease res- *How can I make this any clearer? It's a shitload of static. Hopefully you'd have understood this by now! What are you, retarded?*
>>
>>54974837
>he shoots the man a scowl
Don't even think about h-hurting my baby. You know *cough* how much shit I - and the whole unit, f-for that matter - would be in if this broke?
>he fidgets with another dial and repeats
This is [Unknown Regiment], First and Third companies, do you *wheeze* copy, over? We're f-freezing our asses off down here!
>>
>>54974927
BY THE EMPERORS BALLS THAT SOUNDS DEEPLY FUCKING HERETICAL!
>>
>>54974944
Maybe we should go to the surface
>>
>>54974927
Huh. I can w-work with this, I guess.
>he tightens the aerial, flips a switch and tries again
Say again, signal's fucked down here, can't hear you over the static, over.
>>
>>54974982

>In a sardonic tone, reminds him that the cave is blocked off, they're stuck.
>>
>>54975007
NO NEED TO BE SARCASTIC LOYAL SERVANT!
THE EMPEROR SHALL SEE US THROUGH!
>>
>>54975007
You do remember that captain, with the rest of the regiment got here after cave collapsed, there should be a way out
>>54974992
Kleez, you go to the surface to hunt right?
Show us where's the exit
>>
>>54975044
Oh shit, hallucinations
>>
>>54975066
NO LOYAL SERVANT!
THE EMPEROR HAS GIVEN ME A NEW LEASE OF LIFE AFTER THAT HERETICAL COMMISSAR HAD SO CRUELLY EXECUTED ME!
WE MUST WORK AS ONE TO OVERCOME THE WRETCHES OF CHAOS!
>>
>>54974992
Van Kleez help me it's talking to me what do you do when you start seeing shit oh fuck help
>>
>>54974944
>After messing with the settings on the vox caster, and removing something called "factory default settings". The message would come through a bit more clearly. Albeit, only marginally.

*Mmm, you love the sound of static, don't you.* -is is the Lun- *mmm, taste the static. It's so sweet* - of ro- *this is almost like an abusive relationship. You're just afraid to leave the static, because you think you can change him. Well you can't! He's a terrible person, and we both damn well know it!* -icked up on your distress beacon, and are willing to offer our assistan- *is this a fucking game to you? Just listening to this abusive static talk shit about your mother? Christ man, fight back against it!* -nyone can hear this, respo- *I'm telling you rocky! Yer gonna have to train fast and hard, if ya wanna claim the world championship from the static. Are ya willing to do it, Rocky?*
>>
>>54975120
*the priest would sense the heresy coming from the box and swiftly destroy it with his eviscerator*
>>
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>I'd snatch the vox caster, shouting down it
This is Officer Smith of the 7th Armoured Regiment! We are stranded here on a Tyranid infested world! We bloody well require your assistance at once!
>>
>>54975047
Oh, I g-guess I did. Lemme just, uh, have a look for it. I wasn't in *cough* the best of states when I left.
>he trudges down the tunnel, and a few seconds later brings them to a man-sized hole that appears to have been dug out of the ceiling to the surface with an ice pick

>>54975116
Just k-kinda swat at it until it goes away. Is it that damn dog again?

>>54975153
>he'd slap the man's hands off the caster
Gerroff, you'll get prints on her.

>>54975120
>he speaks into the vox again
Still can't hear shit, we're m-moving to higher ground. Say again until my mark, over.
>>
>>54975153
company*
>>
>>54975182

>Blanket wrapped around him, attempts to climb up the hole, pulling Van Kleez with him.
>>
>>54975182
Excuse me Sergeant? That was terribly rude! I will make sure you're in with the first wave next time we fight! Now allow me to handle the vox!
>>
>>54975182
You are never in a bes state, I'm sure you are seeing some pink rhino in a suit complaining about you not being a general righ now
>Climbs up the hole
Also aks them to bring spare plasma canister
>>
>>54975182
>the man follows them up the hole, cigars in one hand and cocoa thermos in the other
>>
>>54975234
HELLO THERE I AM PICHAEL REFER TO ME AS MICHAEL IN ALL FUTURE CONVERSATIONS
>>
>>54975153
>>54975182
>Although the voice on the other end doesn't seem to be hearing you. As you get higher up, the signal brings to clear up, and focus more. Albeit there is still static.

*I'm going to smother you in all this static.* -unar class Strike cruiser, "Sundered Discontempt", under the command of- *They say if you pray hard enough and listen very closely, you can sometimes hear someone calling you a bitch.* -plying to your distress beacon. If anybody can hear this, please respond. I repeat, this is the Lunar class Str- *I bet you get off to this, don't you. Listening to static over the vox caster. Fucking sick perverted freak! It's not like I want you to listen to all this static or anything! B-b-b-BAKA!*
>>
>>54975307
*answering the vox*
THIS IS PRIEST MICHAEL OF THE ADEPTUS MINISTORUM!
WE HAVE A CORRUPTION ISSUE IN THE CHAIN OF COMMAND.
REQUESTING A KILL TEAM!
PRONTO!
>>
>>54975307
YES! THIS IS OFFICER SMITH OF THE 7TH ARMOURED COMPANY RESPONDING! WE ARE STRANDED ON A DEATHWORLD HOSTED BY TYRANIDS! PLEASE PICK US UP AT ONCE! THIS IS TERRIBLY URGENT!
>>
>>54975234
Whew, glad you can see him too. Can you *cough* tell him to fuck off? He's really b-buggin' me.

>>54975218
Rude? I'll tell ya what's rude, Rupert, an' that's t-touching another trooper's specialist equipment without permission. How'd you like it if I *cough* came an' rubbed my greasy hands all over your tank controls, hm?

>>54975307
>he continues to repeat
This is [Unknown Regiment], First and Third companies, do you copy, over?
>>
>>54975366
There's a difference between a tank and a fraking vox caster you fool! And one more bit of contempt from you and I'll make you're you'll be apart of my leman russ ammunition!
>>
>>54975366
Sure tell rhino that he still owes me
Anyways, do you understand anything?
Also ask to bring a plasma fuel canister for my shuttle
>>
>>54975366
>>54975401
Holy shit stop arguing you cocksleeves or I'll give you papercuts on the skin between your fingers
>>
>>54975366
>>54975353
>After reaching the top of the highest snow bank near their base camp, and speaking into the vox caster. Their message would seemingly get through.

>All in a hushed tones.
>"Unknown regiment... What kind o' fuckin' name is that?"
>"I don't know. Sounds fucking retarded to me..."
>"Whatever. I'll respond..."

>Regular tone.
This is the Strike crusier, Sundered Discontempt. We're picking you up loud and clear from down there. The auspex's are picking you up near the southern polar regions. Just hold out a bit longer, and we'll send a transport to bring you up.
>>
>>54975436
THAT IS NOT AN IMPERIAL SANCTIONED WORD!
>>
>>54975478
How... unprofessional...
MEN!
I BELIEVE OUR SO CALLED RESCUERS ARE PIRATES!
>>
>>54975478

At last, finally. I do fancy myself some Tea.
>>
>>54975478
Finally, we're saved! Looks like we don't have to eat van Kleez after all.
>>
>>54975478
Oh finally, let's hope they have fuel cells there
>>
>>54975560
DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER CANNIBALISM!
TO DO SO IS TO STRAY FROM THE EMPERORS LIGHT!
>>
>>54975401
Now here's an interestin' fact for ya - due to a Munitorial legislation quirk, they're both counted as 'R-Regiment Essential Equipment' and use the same requisition form, so technically there ain't no difference between a tank an' a fraking vox caster, thank ya very much. So you, sir, can k-kiss my ass.

>>54975436
>he caresses the handset of his voxcaster
Hush now, this is important s-stuff. Can't let this guy get away with *hack* malignin' my precious child like that.

>>54975478
Emprah bless you, my friends, we'll stay p-put. Mind passin' me your Naval ID so the clerk can get a headstart on the paperwork, over?
>>
>>54975599

>Shivering slightly, listens to the howling wind, and looks about at the desolate white landscape all about him.
>>
>>54975599
That is where you are wrong, as all mechanicum-issued plasma weaponry and ordinances are listen seperately, and what a surprise! I pilot a Ryza-Pattern Leman Russ executioner.
>>
>>54975599
Let's hope they come before we freeze to death
>Hears howling
Or be eaten
>>
>>54975652
*the ground shakes beneath them once more*
>>
>>54975675

>Hearing that terrible rumble, stays very, very still.

>Puts his lips to his mouth, indicating for the others to stay silent.
>>
>>54975675
>Stands still
>>
>>54975698
>roll to avoid antagonising the beast everyone

>30 or higher to succeed
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>54975744
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>54975744
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>54975744
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>54975756
IGNORE
>>54975744
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>54975646
Bah, shows how long it's been since I've f-filled in one a' those. Guess I just take *cough* good care a' my equipment so I don't haveta replace it, and could do without some busybody meddlin' with it, hm?

>>54975744
>he lets out a ragged sigh, and stands as still as he can muster
>>
Rolled 18 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>54975766
>the trader would fail at staying still so hard that the Mawloc would have an easier time pouncing the man
roll to attempt to consume the fool
>>
Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>54975813
Oh that's just grat VICTOR
>Giant beetle attacks the tyranid
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>54975813

>Drawing his Las, attempts to hit vital areas as the Monster pounces.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>54975882
>>54975852
*the wounded beast would shrug off the attacks and attempt to dive back under the ground with its morsel in tow*
>>
Rolled 3, 19, 7 = 29 (3d20)

>>54975813
>The officer would gather his men to shoot the beast
FIRST RANK, FIRE!
>first roll
SECOND RANK, FIRE!
>second roll
>The man would fire his laspistol at the mawloc, last roll
>>
>>54975599
>There would be a moment of silence, before a series of hushed whispered are barely heard.

>"They're asking for our naval ID. Do we even have one? If we don't, then what the hell do I say?"
>Jus' 'ive 'em the boss' ID till de'n. De'y won't know the diff'erence."
>"..."
>Y'u don't know his Char'tar ID. Do y'u..."
>"... Is that bad...?"
>"Fuk'ken eye o' TERROR! YES DAT BE BAD, YA MOOR'ON!"
>"STOP YELLING AT ME! YOU KNOW HOW SENSITIVE I AM ABOUT PEOPLE YELLING AT ME WHEN I MAKE A MISTAKE!"
>HEY! IS SOMEONE YELLING AT OLTON!?"
>"YER FUKK'IN ROIGHT O'M YELLIN' AT 'EM! 'E DON'T KNOW DA BOSS' CHARTER ID!"
>"STOP YELLING AT ME! IT WASNT ON THE TEST WHEN I APPLIED FOR THE JOB!"
>"HEY! STOP FUCKING YELLING AT OLTON! OTHERWISE I'LL VENT YOU OUT THE FUCKING AIRLOCK!"
>"GRRRR..... ILL SHOW Y'U AIRLOCKS 'WHATS! COM'ERE!"

>There would be sounds of a brawl going in, on the otherside of the vox.
>After a few moments, a new, far more feminine voice would appear.

>Sorry about that. We're having a few technical issues up here. We'll have it ready for you when you get aboard."

>There would be another whispered tone.

>"I just hope they can-"
>*The kind of static, that would give you an erection if you listened to it long enough.*
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>54975909
>Tries to attack it's wounded flesh with a knife to escape
Come on!
>>
>>54975802
>>54975927
Well that was interesting.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>54975961
>the beast would shriek out in pain at the impact of the knife, but as they both lay underground it would only cause the creature to bite down harder on the trader
*roll to crush*
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>54975993
>Takes out a remote
I'm not going down alone
>Activates explosion in his chest
>Roll for damage, +2 due to proximity of to the head
>>
>>54976045
*the Mawloc would wince at the pain before finally digesting his meal*
*the creature was beginning to become over confident*
*once again it tunnelled to where the vibrations were and waited to see if any others would make themselves obvious*

*roll 30+ to avoid setting the creature off again, or choose to fight it*
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>54976161

>Resolve shaken by the loss of a comrade, is paralyzed by fear.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>54976161
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>54976161
>Rolling to dodge
>>
>>54976161
*disregard the digestion part, most of the nutrients in the trader are blasted waste*
>>
>from the sky a flaming cruiser spirals to the earth before crashing in a spectacular explosion, from the f lamming wreak a Ork, wearing the head of a Hormagaunt and its claws taped to the Ork's arms.The ork crawls from The flames

*RAAAAAAAWR* I AM 'GAUNT YA GITS

> The orks attempts to run at the party before promptly falling on its face
>>
>>54976045
>>54976161
>seeing his friend dragged underground and exploded, he lets out another of his terrible sighs
>he gives a surprisingly crisp salute
Emprah be with you, ya brave xeno bastard.

>>54975984
That's uh, one way to describe it.

>>54976161
Fuck this.
>he pulls what appears to be a krak grenade with a remote detonator attached from his coat
>he winds up and lobs it as far from the group as possible, it rolling about a hundred metres down the hill
>he hits the detonator, and the grenade sends vibrations deep underground
>he switches vox channels and speaks into the handset
I want pinpoint mortars, no greater than ten metre radius, on 274 by 887 on my mark...
>now he waits
>>
>>54976322
*rolling to join the mawloc
>>
>>54976322
>The man looks over at the ork for a few seconds, before turning his attention to a cogitator tablet lying on the ground next to the hole left by the mawloc.
>Picking up the tablet, he brushes some dirt off the screen, and traces a robotic finger along the cracks in the corner, before carefully placing it in a secure inner pocket.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>54976423
>Giant bug comes and gives Viktor paper which certifies his ownership of Ars's ship
>It then goes after the mawloc
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>54976413
*try again
>>
>>54976384
>Descending down from high orbit, towards the reigment position, would be a shuttle, covered in solid gold plating. It's armour shimmering in the light peaking through the cloud cover.
>>
>>54976445

>Looking towards the shuttle, draws Van Kleez's attention toward it.
>>
>>54976445
>the man halfheartedly points at the shuttle
Look. Our saviors. Yay.
>>
>>54976431
>The man takes the form, stamps it then signs it, before folding it and placing it in his shirt pocket
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

*RAAAWR* I AM 'NID TOO 'LOC
>>
>>54976465
YOU SEE! I KNEW THE EMPEROR WOULD SEE US THROUGH!
>>
>>54976462
>dragging his attention away from the spot he hoped the tyranid would emerge, he looks into the sky
Emprah's teeth, this is gonna be f-fun.

>>54976445
>he clicks his voxcaster over to the proper channel and speaks
You fuck's ain't the n-navy, are ya?
>>
>>54976522
*the orks residual psychic field would act as a weak substitute for synapse*
*the Mawloc would be convinced that doing this orks bidding was probably a good idea*
>>
>>54976546
I DONT THINK THATS THE NAVY
I SERIOUSLY DONT THINK THATS THE NAVY.
THERE ARE ONLY TWO REASONS THAT A SHIP WOULD BE COVERED IN SOLID GOLD
>>
>>54976546
Fuck that thing is blinding me, and these FUCKING HALLUCINATIONS AREN'T MAKING THINGS ANY BETTER
>>
>>54976557
*RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR* let me ride ya, we gonna smash 'em good
>>
>>54976621
*the mawloc seriously hoped that there was some fucking food around here*
>>
>>54976546
>A female voice would be heard over the channel.

Sure as hell isn't. Though I did get my trainin' from 'em, I'll tell ya wot.

Now, if'n ya wouldn't mind; I'd like ya ya start grabbing yer gear, so I can get me ship outta this freezing ball of us, I tell ya wot.
>After a few moments, the shuttle would land upon the planet's ice encrusted surface.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>54976614
*the priest would slap the man for claiming that his holiness was a hallucination*
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN YOUR PLACE BOY? DO NOT DARE TO INSULT A MEMBER OF THE ADEPTUS MINISTORUM!
>>
>>54976546
KLEEZ IT'S TOUCHING ME HELP
>>
>>54976671

>Seeing the ship land, begins making his way over to it as quick as possible, dragging Van Kleez with him.
>>
>>54976655
We gonna go eat 'dem good, charge them! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR
> the ork points towards Van Kleez and the others
>>
>>54976671
Oh boy. Yeah, I'll give the w-word, over.

>he switches the vox to loudspeaker mode
ALRIGHT YOU F-FUCKS, EVEYONE ON THE SHIP, WE'RE *staticky cough* GETTING OUTTA HERE!

>>54976691
>he grabs the man by the shoulders and shakes him
Oi, hallucination! Get outta this p-poor man's head! He's got enough shit goin' on in there already!
>>
>>54976671
>runs aboard the shuttle
>>
>>54976727
*the mawloc would charge at the shuttle, dolphin diving in and out of the ice*
>>
>>54976769
> the ork so how stays alive with this, roaring the whole time
>>
>>54976769
>he looks on in resigned horror at the approaching beast
Aw, shit.

>>54976695
>he frantically slaps the arm of the man carrying him
Faster, you bastard, run faster! He's g-gaining!

>he switches to the artillery channel
Basilisks? As s-soon as this shuttle takes off, turn this *cough* entire Throne-damned hill to slurry. That f-fuckin' nid ain't gettin' away with this.
>>
>>54976734
TO IGNORE A MEMBER OF THE ADEPTUS MINISTORUM IS BLATANT HERESY!
REPENT NOW, OR DIE!
seriously this isn't a hallucination and you did get nat 20 bitchslapped, this is a different priest
>>
>>54976769
FIRST RANK, FIRE!
>first roll
SECOND RANK, FIRE
>second roll
>>
File: 400px-Courageous.png (222KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]
400px-Courageous.png
222KB, 400x400px
>>54976817

>Heart pounding, socks Van Kleez in the stomach into a Fireman's carry over himself, with last burst of speed, makes his run over the last stretch of distance between them and the Shuttle.
>>
Rolled 8, 4 = 12 (2d20)

>>54976851
>>
Rolled 14, 14 = 28 (2d20)

>>54976851
*the mawloc would take the initiave and crash through the guardsmens lines*
>>
Rolled 8, 18, 20, 18 = 64 (4d20)

>>54976883
>Some of the ranks breaking, I'd order the men
FIX BAYONETS!
CHAAAAAARGE!
>The guardsmen would charge the Mawloc, first three rolls
>I'd slash it with my power sword, last roll
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>54976883
> the Ork leans down from his tyranid steed and swings towards the guardsmen attempting to kill some
*RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR*
>>
>>54976727
>>54976695
>>54976734
>With less than two whole companies worth of men and women left, belonging to the unknown regiment having survived both the incidents upon televus, as well as the daemon attack and sudden evacuation of the Eagle's Fury. The transport is more than able to fit most of them onboard.
>Fully packed, the transport would begin to take off towards orbit.
>>
Rolled 5, 4, 12, 13 = 34 (4d20)

>>54976919
*the mawloc was dying, and it was enraged*
*roll for the beasts final death throes against officer smith*
>>
>>54976933
>Within moments, the ship would exit the atmosphere, and would be on a direct recourse with, presumably, it's mothership.
>Those looking out one of the viewports and into the void, would see a massive stroke crusier, covered in its entirety in gleaming golden armour plates. The massive twin head of the aquillia acting as the shield upon the ship's bow.
>>
>>54977008
Well this seems ominous.
>>
>>54976962
>I'd get hit a few times, getting forced back, but I'd finally kill the beast
>Using my powersword, I'd cut off the head of the beast, getting some guardsmen to hold it up
Victory, brothers!
>>
>>54977008
COMMISSAR
WHERE ARE YOU!
I KNOW YOU ARE STILL ABOARD
>>
>>54977042
> from the fallen mawloc the ork rushes the officer, steals the head and runs away
*RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR*
>>
Rolled 1, 5, 12, 7 = 25 (4d20)

>>54977107
>Shoots my las pistol at the orks head, first roll
>rest of the guardsmen fire into the ork, next three rolls
>>
>>54977139
> The ork is grazed several times and hit once but lives to be a tyranid another day
>>
>>54976855
>>54976817
>Seeing that the two of them had made it aboard the shuttle. The Hospitaller would once more, begin dealing with van Kleez's injuries. Including those the conscript had provided him with with.

Well I cant say I'm happy to see he made it out alive. I will thank you, Trooper, for bringing back my number one returning patient.

>With this said, she would plant a quick peck upon Wolfe's lips.
>>
>>54977219

>Freezes, nearly unable to comprehend the intimate contact.

>Left speechless, merely stands there.
>>
>>54977219
WHERE IS THE COMISSAR DEAR SISTER!
TELL ME IMMIEDIATELY
THIS IS AN URGENT MATTER
>>
>>54977248
>The Hospitaller would giggle, before standing up, and walking away. Leaving the man to ponder what had transpired.
>>
>>54977219
>Myself, and my other praetorian men would come onto the shuttle, greeting the Hospitaller
Ah! Enough of the romantics. Myself and my men are tired and injured.
>>
>>54977310
>The sister would give a mock salute, before beginning her work.

Right away, Lieutenant!
>>
>>54977458
SISTER! WHERE IS THE COMMISSAR!
I MUST KNOW AT ONCE!
>>
>I'd smile to the Hospitaller, before pulling my pistol out, and executing a coward infront of you, then throwing him out the shuttle
>>
>>54977608
>Matthias would frown at the sight, but would hold his tongue.
>It wouldn't do to question the tanker's decision at this point in time.
>>
>>54977608

>Seeing executions take place so casually damages his resolve, though he stays silent.
>>
>>54977685
He ran away, when he was called to fight.
>>
>>54977714
WHO RAN AWAY OFFICER?
TO WHOM DO YOU REFER?
>>
>>54977797
One of my men. Stop shouting like an imbecile
>>
>>54977992
THIS IS MY PRIESTLY INSPIRATIONAL VOICE!

I USE IT TO CHANT VARIOUS EMPEROR RELATED THINGS AND ACCUSE PEOPLE OF BEING HERETICS.
MUCH LIKE I INTEND TO TO TO THAT DOWNRIGHT HERETICAL COMMISSAR.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE TAINTED BASTARD?
>>
>>54977714
>He would shake his head at this.

It's ot my place to say what you do with the men under your command. I suppose I prefer corporal punishment, rather than waste the life of a man.
>>
>>54978103
Indeed, Captain, however, unlike some regiments, I like to keep standards high. My men are more scared of me and my pistol, than the enemy. I'm keeping it that way.
Thread posts: 347
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