Gellar Field Inspection

File: You_Doodle_2017-07-25T20_35_23Z.jpg (959KB, 900x1334px) Image search: [Google]

959KB, 900x1334px

>>54941277
IS THIS WHERE THE NEW PATIENTS ARE?

>>54941298
>Looks up from cogtitator
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHIT ITS A HERETIC!!!I-I-i mean, yes new patients for slannesh's dark will.

>>54941321
I HEARD THAT
PREPARE FOR MEDICINAL PROBING

Where the fuck am I?

>>54941369
>^(
Nope no no no!
>dashes into Halls
>>54941372
101010100101,watch were you're going brainsack.No wait PLEASE YOU GOTTA PROTECT ME!

>>54941372
THIS IS THE WARP AND YOUR NEXT.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>54941433
>I'd attempt to shoot warp diahorea at you

File: 1495831559707.jpg (2MB, 1179x1554px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1179x1554px

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54941433
>Screaming from behind hall
STAY BACK,I-i'm warning you, I've got weaponry!
>Levels a grav gun aiming at her chest
You asked for it!

Rolled 88, 139 = 227 (2d200)

>>54941460
OK, YOU'RE FIRST NOW
*roll to pin the man and then probe him*

Rolled 31, 46 = 77 (2d100)

>>54941499
*fucked up the rolls*

>>54941485
IMPRESSIVE
ISNT THAT MEANT FOR USE IN FIREWORKS SHOWS?

File: Imperial spawn(3).png (2MB, 734x1102px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 734x1102px

>A floating bubble of warp energy burst revealing hideous figure
SCREEEEECH

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>54941499
>Rolling to warp lightning this fucker

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>54941560
>studying his most trusted companion and only friend.
Fireworks? this device works by using the subjects own mass against it, reversing gravity for you stupid people.
>Claps hands together, and looks into the cogskull of the gravity weapon, coined, Vicenlle.
How the mighty have fallen, my dear imperium.
>>54941765
>Looks at the Warp spawn
A welcomed test subject, it's simple, just depress the ionized trigger and release.

>>54941808
SCREEECH
>Slaps the Magos
SCREEEECH

>>54941791
*enjoys it massively*
AGAIN
AGAIN!
>>54941808
ARE YOU SURE THAT WORKS?

File: 1497811181865.gif (813KB, 811x541px) Image search: [Google]

813KB, 811x541px

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>54941861
>Grabs eletromaul and starts wacking Pawn with it
Bad daemon bad, submit to your betters!
>the flash of the mark of tzeencth appears on the powermaul
Taste the power of magical science!

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>54941910
SCREEEECH
>Pawn tries to grab the magos
>50+

File: IMG_0355.png (661KB, 600x1020px) Image search: [Google]

661KB, 600x1020px

>>54941939
Hey guys what goin on here

>>54941953
>Tired of this nonsense Pawn opens up a portal and leaves

File: 1499923905537.gif (3MB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 200x200px

>>54941939
>Just as planned
Ahahaha! daemon you have missed, time for a mechicinus sanctioned victory dance!
>Does robot.
Now time for you go to wounc...
>>54941953
SPACE MARINE WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT SISTER!?!? 1010101011001010101010101
>Grabs sides of head
Does not compute.
>Does funky chicken

>>54941978
Nothing she isn't enjoying.
Are you allright?
Do you need a gear change?

>shoots myself in the head.

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>54942014
>puts gravgun away and holsters powermaul
A gear change, no but I'd like to change that senorita's oil if you catch my drift,
>>54942043
>Pulls gun away and pulls out the bullet saving the armsmen.
Not today punk!

>>54942110
I think I do.
*spreads the sisters legs and continues thrusting*

Yo, any of you fags know which way the Circle K is? A nigga got a craving for some Skittles and ice tea

>>54942197
Its past the pit of solemn screams and left at the daemonette den.

>>54942161
>Grabs her face and angles it towards in crotch.
The omninessia insists that I give you a blessed oil transfusion...orrally.
>Sticks robodick in her comfy mouth.
>>54942197
>Tosses a pack of sour skittles and a Crisk riced tea
Here on the house!

>>54942219
Alright, radical my guy

>>54942227
*whilst thrusting violently*
So what brought you here?
How did you get into the warp friend?

File: 1501188665597.jpg (183KB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

183KB, 1600x900px

>>54942330
>Thusting away, muffled moans escape the senorita's mouth, the metallic tool hitting her uvuala
This is actually an ark mechanicus, you're all just bumming a ride on, you know? and I'm sure it's now properly infest if you lot are here.

>>54942427
Hey I work here too you shit dick.
You better not get any stains on the floor

>>54942427
There is only a mild amount of abominable taint here. Which is good for the warp.

>grabs two power swords
>Torso starts spinning while head and legs remain facing forwards
>Torso spins faster
>Torso now a blur of blue and steel
>Skitarii is now a beyblade

LET IT RIP FOR THE OMNISSAH

>Runs into the nearest crowd of people

>>54942427
>A rak'gol with a pirate hat comes out of the wents
Nah matey, yarrr, you're most likely dead harrr.
Like me!
>>54942462
And this guy over here yarrr.
>He crawls over to Vander
>Slaps him a the back of his head
Arrr Remember me? Ye still owe me for that titan, yarr

>>54942533
Hey that wasn't my fault some asshole covered in in slime then another asshole blew it up

>>54942572
If you admit your mistakes now they are easier to deal with in the future

>>54942572
Yer couldn't stomp a ,yarrrr, giant, walking blob while piloting a titan!

File: 1500583708742.jpg (205KB, 688x1110px) Image search: [Google]

205KB, 688x1110px

>>54942515
>Spies the skittarii
Hey you, you there whats your designation, come on pal you can tell me, 101010? 01010101?
>loud beeps and boops.
>>54942608
you are still covered in slime amigo.

>>54942630
It's not slime it more like... juices.
Juices are a good sign

>>54942608
Hey I didn't do shit this time.
>>54942624
I was trying to get the cd player to work

>>54942657
What do you mean by "this time" my friend?
*continues thrusting*

>>54942630
>Steve stops running and faces the adept, still spinning

I AM THE BEYBLADE OF THE OMNISSAH

>he continues on down the corridor, bisecting all in his path.

File: 1501038022387.jpg (660KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

660KB, 1920x1080px

>>54942657
A cd player? where is it, give it to me you imbecile.
>scuttles over to the techpriest, a servoskull nudges vander in the head.
>>54942690
He does this alot, also we're relocationing this, closer to vander and his device.

>>54942690
Well this one time I shot myself in the eye when a laser reflected off the inside of a servitor's head and this other time I crashed a limo and this other time I broke a priceless archeotech plasma gun and this other time I abandoned my post to go on a wild space pirate adventure which led to my death
>>54942719
Blown up on Hoth my guy, if you want it you can dig through Titan ruins

>>54942719
Arrr, he doesn't have it, it was on a titan that was destroyed because of his incompetence, herrr.
Also yer most likely dead with everybody one this ship, harrr

>>54942744
Hey you were driving too

>>54942764
I was trying to ge yer attention on the daemon, yarrr, the titan only had one drivers console and seat that you were using

File: 1501184568670.jpg (581KB, 1536x2048px) Image search: [Google]

581KB, 1536x2048px

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>54942713
>Grabs the skitarii and scans his barcode
Alright lets see...101010110100110010101.
>His eyes go blue for a second then go back to their purplish glow.
Now I see, now I know... Hello Steve unit 55, I love the number five by the way, also give me those powerswords I shall upgrade them!

File: 1500784236703.jpg (355KB, 1000x976px) Image search: [Google]

355KB, 1000x976px

>>54942744
Dead? me, hohohohohhoohohoho, Science never dies my fair watson...
>Eyes glow green for a second
death is but an illusion in a cruel world, noone cares enough to fight it.

>>54942797
Where exactly did this titan come from and how were you even in a position to pilot it?
*thrusting intensifies with an ass slap*

>>54942744
Hey I'm not that incompetent

>>54942873
Arr it was modified...by orks I presume, since I found it on their yarrr ship.
I'm harrr very proud of it and have pics
>He gets the picture from his coat
Here
>Shows pictures of the reaver titan, with him and Vander, and hrut

>>54942955
You found a fully functional reaver titan on an ork ship?
How did you get it down?

>>54942987
We threw spare change into a rip in space and time

>>54942945
From what this servoskull had shown me, you are relaibly incompentant.
>snatches a stray servoskull out the near the ceiling
You eat pizza for machine's sake!

>>54943003
Hey pizza is fucking rad, maybe if you'd chill out for a second and smoke some of these holy oils you'd see that

>>54942945
>Rog'alen looks at him in silence
>>54942987
Arr that's a neat story, yer see yarrrrr Vander was piloting and the ship also, somehow had an eldar webway portal, which was invisible because the eldar wana-be pirate who send us on this adventure accidentaly turned the invisibility on

>>54943027
This corsair chap sounds like a great guy and an incredible pirate.

Where are all the daemons?

>>54943081
Circle K

>>54943055
He's a corsair, not a pirate yarr, there's a difference. Also the best thing he found were some sponge tubes who are only valuable to stryx.
Also this, harrr.
>Gives a picture of Osirius putting his dick inside a squig while drunk
He can't take more than a bottle of rum
>>54943081
Hallls! How are ya matey? When did you die?
>Gives a pic of Osirius trying to kiss

>>54943105
I have utmost certainty that all of those images are faked. Also corsairs are definitely pirates.
*thrusts in slow, powerful rhythms*

>>54943141
Trust me, they're not.
Here's one of when we shaved his pubes and stuck them to his face

>>54943105
Oh, well, I suppose I blew up when casting a psychic power. I killed at least 200 people in doing so.

>>54943183
Radical my dude

>>54943141
Arrr nay, there's a difference, ya see corsairs are, yarrr mostly fancy pirates, like they shave and care about hygiene and adventure, and romance.
While pirates arrrrr are grizzled men and women who are in this only for loot and murder, and they rely on brute force instead of those fancy schmancy tactics
>>54943183
Better way than I died, I'll tell ya that, harrr

>>54943178
Vander, would you perhaps like some Tequila?
>I'd open the door to my hell mobile, a DeLorean with a shit ton of spikes on it

>>54943205
Drink driving? Count me in.

File: delorean.jpg (60KB, 728x407px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 728x407px

>>54943258
Let's ride to hell.
>I'd cock my double barrel shotgun, while putting a pair of aviators on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cixW6rogZ48&t=20s

>>54943294
Hell?
No
Let's.
Go.
To.
IKEA!
*punctuates each word with a rough thrust, earning a plethora of moans from his partner*

>>54943294
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUcWUWusc80
Wow, what a fun trip through the warp. Who knew they had such a well maintained highway system

>>54943408
Mmmmmm, I love their meaty balls, but there are two in particular that are far more delicious
>Reaches for the Chapter's Mastercrafted Geneseed bombs
See a Warhammer Rollplay thread, be all WARP YEAH, Scroll to the bottom, get incredibly confused, require reading the whole thread through to get the full story

File: 1380299598077.gif (262KB, 244x244px) Image search: [Google]

262KB, 244x244px

>>54945888
Nice, what story did you gleam from all this?

>>54946893
Ohhhh, the stories I could tell you about this venerable Dreadnought
>Because the equivalent of a cripple in an armoured wheelchair is sexy
I was mostly focused on finding out how a Space Marine got in bed with anyone, but I'm going on the assumption that there is a high amount of Slaaneshi in this corner of the Warp that is making everyone debauched but cavalier enough to pass for adventurous and cavalier in the 41st millenium

>>54947902
My dear sister it is in fact worse than that.
this was once a mighty mechiancus vessel but now we're lost in the frackin warp with these arseholes.
>Levels gravgun at the sister
You ain't one of those daemonettes are you?