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How could a Knight kill a giant?

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How could a Knight kill a giant?
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>>54877258
Poison it. Unless you're saint george the go to way to kill any huge fantasy beast is poison.
>>
Can a chimp kill an elephant?
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Depends on the situation.

I would think poison would be a good choice. Alternatively, Slice an Achilles, bring him down, cripple him carefully, then dispatch him.

Alternatively, enlist the aid of a ballista.
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>>54877314
>ballistae
That's why everyone get's adventurers to do it. Local lords don't want to go through the trouble of bringing out the siege equipment every time a giant comes out of the forest.
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>>54877258
Charge and drive a lance into the heart. An especially long lance and/or a flying mount may be necessary.
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Have some people occupy it's attention and then charge it on horseback with a lance. Hell, you might be able to skip the people occupying it if you have a long enough weapon.
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>>54877258
Stick a pin in it's foot and tell him it's a deadly vindscreen viper.
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>>54877258
With a weapon, duh!

Next question.
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>>54877563
In what strange abstract metaphysical sense "is" it attention?
>>
Square cube law means he is gonna have a lot more trouble dispersing heat from his body.
He must already be having a hard time outside his frozen mountain home.
Cover him with heavy fur and he dies from hyperthermia.
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>>54877258
Ride between his legs and stab him in the bollocks.

Jean, if you keep asking questions like this, the Lady will NEVER let you sip from her cup.
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>>54877314
Hamstringing it is a good idea. It's essentially human, right? Go for its weak spots. Blind it. Aim for the heart, lungs, or genitals. Use poison, fire, acid, boiling water or oil. Hell, trick it into use a big iron spear for a weapon and fight it during a thunderstorm.
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>>54877258
Fire. You just need to slather his body in oil first.
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>>54877258
With a lance.
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>>54877258
Same way a dog beats a bear: by cutting its flanks and ass to ribbons.
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>>54877258
Lance through the heart/skull
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>>54877258
If the knight can reach his achilles tendon, he can kill 'im. Cut one or preferably both, then go to town.
>B-But the rest of muh leg
Cut the back of the knee, then the tendon in the loin, then go to town
>B-But muh arms
You didn't train from the age of 7 for nothing, doofus
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Armor.

And a Big Fucking Sword
>>
With the great equalizer: a gun.
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>>54877258
wait until the wind stops
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>>54877915
If we're talking about when knights were relevant the average gun is not going to be inflicting lethal damage to a giant as depicted by the op

it would be impossible to properly aim for and hit a vital organ if it were in motion other than by complete accident and anything else would not be sufficiently incapacitating

if you're going with ranged you're better off sending a horse archer after him with arrows dipped in a sufficiently strong poison to bring him down. He won't be able to outrun the horse and even in medieval times there were ways to get poisons that would kill a giant that size in a reasonable timeframe.

Bonus points for good archers being able to actually hit him in the face.
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>>54877258
Challenge the fucker to a joust. The giant won't be able to find a big enough horse and will be disqualified for it leaving you the winner.
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>>54878257
what if he shows up on a brachiosaur?
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>>54877258
Lemmiwinks it up.
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>>54877258

with a sword, duh.
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>>54877258
Gradually reduce its hitpoints over a successive seiries of turns.
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>>54878269
Brachiosaur's back bones snap like a twig, it dies horribly. No mount! You win!
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>>54877258
Shoot it in the eyes.
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>>54877258
By being virtuous and true.

How else?
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>>54877258
Ride between its legs and as you pass under it, jam your lance through its perineum.
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>>54877258
Harpoon. Javelin.
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>>54877258
Climb it and open the jugular.
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>>54877258
Grappling hook and a good longsword through the eye and into the brain

Won't be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is.
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>>54877258
Apply force, thereby randomising the atoms in the giant's vicinity
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>>54877692
This. Even if the giant survives, you have made it sterile and can't continue breeding giants. Eventually the whole giant race will be extinct.
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>>54877258
Define giant.
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>>54878198
>If we're talking about when knights were relevant the average gun is not going to be inflicting lethal damage to a giant as depicted by the op
The gun shoots explosives.
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>>54879795
Don't need explosives. Just a bigger gun.
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>>54879820
No, no...smaller cannon, more shots.
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>>54879790
this is actually real important. are we talking ten ft, twenty ft, 100 ft tall? because it significantly alters my options
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>Hamstring or Achilles tendon to hobble it.
>Use axe or other heavy chopping weapon to ensure good flesh penetration
>Once done strike at head/face

If you're skilled and evasive enough you should be able to kill a giant.
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>>54877258
A trebuchet oughta do the trick. Who said knights have to go and kill a fucker 5 times your size without proper equipement?
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>>54877466
Adventurers are messy, greedy and more than likely will charm the giantess and try and bring her into town.

Just ask the guards to man the harpoons it's free.
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>Well, said Sir Marhaus, then will I fight with him on foot; so on the morn Sir Marhaus prayed the earl that one of his men might bring him whereas the giant was; and so he was, for he saw him sit under a tree of holly, and many clubs of iron and gisarms about him. So this knight dressed him to the giant, putting his shield afore him, and the giant took an iron club in his hand, and at the first stroke he clave Sir Marhaus' shield in two pieces. And there he was in great peril, for the giant was a wily fighter, but at last Sir Marhaus smote off his right arm above the elbow.

>Then the giant fled and the knight after him, and so he drove him into a water, but the giant was so high that he might not wade after him. And then Sir Marhaus made the Earl Fergus' man to fetch him stones, and with those stones the knight gave the giant many sore knocks, till at the last he made him fall down into the water, and so was he there dead. Then Sir Marhaus went unto the giant's castle, and there he delivered twenty-four ladies and twelve knights out of the giant's prison, and there he had great riches without number, so that the days of his life he was never poor man.

So that's one way, from the Arthurian cycle. Throw rocks at it until it dies.

Let's look at more ways!
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>>54880121

Here's King Arthur's way.

>When King Arthur beheld that piteous sight he had great compassion on them, so that his heart bled for sorrow, and hailed him, saying in this wise: "He that all the world wieldeth give thee short life and shameful death; and the devil have thy soul; why hast thou murdered these young innocent children, and murdered this duchess? Therefore, arise and dress thee, thou glutton, for this day shalt thou die of my hand." Then the glutton anon started up, and took a great club in his hand, and smote at the king that his coronal fell to the earth. And the king hit him again that he carved his belly and cut off his genitours, that his guts and his entrails fell down to the ground. Then the giant threw away his club, and caught the king in his arms that he crushed his ribs. Then the three maidens kneeled down and called to Christ for help and comfort of Arthur. And then Arthur weltered and wrung, that he was other while under and another time above. And so weltering and wallowing they rolled down the hill till they came to the sea mark, and ever as they so weltered Arthur smote him with his dagger.

So in summary, first dress to the giant, then strike off some vital part, like his arm or his "genitours".

Then finish it off. Sir Marhaus preferred the "chuck rocks" method. Arthur preferred the "grapple the giant then smite it with your dagger" method, which is presumably made much easier if you've first chopped off its genitours.
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>>54880146

Here's another way, courtesy of King Arthur.

>He drew out Excalibur his sword, and awaited ever whereas the Romans were thickest and most grieved his people, and anon he addressed him on that part, and hew and slew down right, and rescued his people; and he slew a great giant named Galapas, which was a man of an huge quantity and height, he shorted him and smote off both his legs by the knees, saying, "Now art thou better of a size to deal with than thou were," and after smote off his head.

Same pattern, chop off something vital, then smite the giant.

Presumably this only works with Arthurian giants, which aren't very big.
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>>54880164

Of course Lancelot, objectively a better knight than Arthur and Marhaus, doesn't need to bother with cutting off genitours.

>ANON withal came there upon him two great giants, well armed [armored] all save the heads, with two horrible clubs in their hands. Sir Launcelot put his shield afore him and put the stroke away of the one giant, and with his sword he clave his head asunder. When his fellow saw that, he ran away as he were wood, for fear of the horrible strokes, and Launcelot after him with all his might, and smote him on the shoulder, and clave him to the navel.

So you could take Lancelot's method and just oneshot the giants through their armor because fuck logic, you're Sir Lancelot, Fucker of Queens.
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An honorable knight knows better to sneak and cut tendons like a sneaking rogue.
First, you must challenge the giant to a formal duel, with seconds to pick up the body of the loser and give them a proper burial, as well as an impartial judge to signal the start of the duel.
Then, a location and time must be agreed upon. In this case, since the giant is an outlander, a meadow is likely the best place.
On the night of the duel, make sure to say a prayer to make sure your second (probably your squire) learns about the role of faith in honorable combat.
Then you kill the giant.
>>
Climb it
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>>54880188
>objectively a better knight
You take your french fanfiction and get the fuck out of this house of god
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>>54880146

Append: It's worth noting that this particular giant was so big that he fucked the duchess in half. So the genitours that Arthur sliced off were pretty hefty. Hentai-level genitours.
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>>54880229

Nigga Lancelot is the best Knight in Malory except Tristram, Beaumains/Gared (and he kills Gared later, when Gared's unarmed and unarmored, which is Lancelot's second cuntiest deed in the entire cycle), and possibly Palomides.

French fanfiction? Maybe. But it's an ENGLISH MAN's French fanfiction.
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>>54880205

That's all well and good, but what if the giant is Welsh? Or god forbid, Cornish? Then you're fucked. They don't know honor.
>>
build big ass traps to lure it into
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While all the tendon-slicing is a neat suggestion, have you guys actually tried to cut a tendon? Shit is TOUGH. And I'm talking about inch-diameter stuff from cows. Giant-sized? That's going to take a while.
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>>54880266
hell, you know who has giants? the motherfucking Irish. got a world wonder and everything. and as the centuries have told us, the irish have no honor. the fir didn't have any, the tuatha didn't have any, the formor certainly didn't have any, and the human replacements, for all their amicability and love of alchohol, have only the most tenuous grasp of the concept
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>>54880325

That's why you aim for the dong instead of the tendons anon, just like King Arthur. An expert in attacking the PONOS.
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>>54877258
Literally impale-charge him. Lance it's anus. It's how romans killed elephants once.
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>>54880391
Explain further.
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>>54880493

Right here, anon: >>54880146

Cheerleaders optional
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Summon/air drop from rabid honeybadgers into its pants. Let it feel true pain before it dies.
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>>54880325
On the reverse end, you don't need to cut the entire thing in one go either.

Jamming a lance through the ankle will do enough damage that the giant's own movement might finish the job for you.

You could also just aim for the femoral in some fashion.
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>>54877692
That requires getting close. If it's like the giant in the picture and it's swinging a tree you could die in an instant. I'd rather shoot it in the bollocks and eyes with poison arrows. Horse archery may get the job done if the horse is fast enough to outpace it. If it's really fast on it's feet then the best answer is a ballista or stealthily poisoning it's food.
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>>54880146
>the glutton anon
Turns out we are the giants.

Yes, yes, I know, but still.
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>>54880254
Only knight that can beat Lancelot is Galahad, but that is because God himself will intervene on his side.
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>>54877258
Just take a sharpened lance to the fucker same as you would while jousting.

Depending on it's exact size you either aim to disembowel the giant so it trips around in it's own guts. Or you aim to for a leg and cripple the thing.
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Lots of people at the top of the thread underestimating how deadly a lance charge can be. Thus they act all cowardly

Lots of people at this part of the thread giving knighthood its due respect. I approve.
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>>54880683
This, you don't hack and slash the tendon, you impale it with a spear, javelin, sharpened lance, or even just arrows.
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>>54880254
>French [thing]? Maybe. But it's an ENGLISHMAN's French [thing]
English high culture in a nutshell.
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>>54877282
no?
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>>54877818
>Big Fucking Sword

This.
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>>54877282
Can a chimp kill a man? Can a bug kill a man?
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>>54879970
Anything that big has to be incredibly durable to withstand it's own weight. I'd honestly assume a human couldn't pierce any vitals with a steel weapon. Maybe something stupid sharp like glass or diamond with enough force?

>>54880098
If it stands still long enough to hit it. Find where it sleeps.

>>54880391
Yeah that might work if the giant is just "big human." Any competently designed species won't have internal organs like gonads just fucking dangling in the open.

Also, female giants.
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Learn to roll.
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>>54877282
Can a mere monkey stand up to a LION?
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>>54882824
Are you aware of how strong chimps are?
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Slash an artery.
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>>54883053
strong enough to do this
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>>54883108
Yeah I know, just thought putting chimps with people was a bit off considering chimps have retard strength
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If they're a cyclops, you could always hire Nobody.
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>>54877700
>trick it into use a big iron spear for a weapon and fight it during a thunderstorm.

Holy hell I want this bad now
>Giant rampaging toward village
>Knight rides out challenges it
>knight stalls "the only honorable way to settle this is with a joust!"
>hijinks ensue

also sick digits
>>
>>54877642
>scientific laws apply in fantasy
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>>54877258

With hurtfull comments
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>>54877258
I'm D&D you just hit his ankle with your sword until he falls over and dies.
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>>54877258
Depending on how tall it is you could probably get a 8 foot iron lance through its lungs, heart, kidneys, etc.

Giants are basically big feral humans, so they have big organs, big targets to put a big spear with.

Preferably on horseback.

We have "giants" in ours setting that are about 15 feet tall and stocky as all hell and there are several ways to deal with them.
>Massed heavy crossbows with poisoned broadheads
>Mobile ballistae
>Heavy lance on mounted horse
>Sic a group of attack tigers on it
>cannon fire
>>
>>54877258
>>
>>54884186
>>54877700
>trick it into use a big iron spear for a weapon and fight it during a thunderstorm.
You want to give the giant a forged weapon and hope for the literal odds of getting struck by lightning to save you?

>>54884274
>Sic a group of attack tigers on it
>attack tigers
the fuck

>>54882142
>>54877818
Swords are a bad idea against big creatures unless you have a huge 2 handed chopper, and even then its not as good as a spear or halberd.
As for armor, the big creature is gonna mostly bludgeon and crush you to death, so...

>>54877772
>You didn't train from the age of 7 for nothing, doofus
This. Imagine giving an olympic athlete a machete and telling him to go to town on someone.

>>54877692
>stab him in the bollocks.
dude...
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>>54877258
Pluck out its eyes, cut off its tongue, and tear its belly open from the inside.
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>>54884285
Bronn is hunter tier awesome
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>>54877258
>>
Using 3D Manouver Gear, giving birth to a new kind of knights.
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>>54880844
I mean, we might be giants - the non-skellingtons, anyway
>>
>>54877258
With a big balls and an even bigger lance.
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>>54877258
Bolt, snap, bolt.
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>>54877258
it must eat tons and can't exactly sneak up on things. starve it to death with scorched earth tactics.
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>>54877258
>How could a Knight kill a giant?
giants were only 6'5" in chivalric times
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>>54883108
>>
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>>54877258
>How could a Knight kill a giant?

you don't kill a giant. you use your magic horn to capture him and then parade him around to impress chicks
>>
>>54880121
in another version of that story the giant survives, repents, and becomes friendly
>>
>>54880254
>in Malory
well THERE'S yer PROB-lem
>>
>>54883306
the cyclops has to have friends though
>>
>>54877642
Everyone always goes on about square-cube laws and aerodynamics when it comes to giants and dragons but no one ever has a go at hydras regenerating heads or wizards casting magic missile. We get it. I always get the impression that these people didn't realise these things for themselves but instead read a shitty clickbait article or saw a post 2007 faux-nerd youtube video where this shit was mentioned and thought "Oh shit this is brand new information I must bring this up in every discussion about giants/dragons to show how clever I am at repeating other people's obvious non-points!!!!!". It's like people who say wrestling isn't real as if it's some grand revelation. If you're stupid enough to think that the people who watch wrestling are too stupid to realise it's fake then you're probably almost as stupid as people who bring up square-cube law or aerodynamics every fucking time someone wants to talk about magical fantasy monsters. If I'm going to put 60ft tall knights who wear armour made out of masonry and use giant slings to topple castle walls in my setting then of course I'm not going to give a shit about the square-cubed law. The same way I'll put neutronium armour on space ships and have them shoot black holes at each other in sci-fi settings even though that would be fucking nonsense in real life.

tl:dr You can only repeat somebody else's insipid observations. We get it. You can stop.
>>
>>54884274
15 foot isn't a giant, that's an ogre. A giant's one defining feature is being giant. They should be the height of Godzilla and throttle dragons.
>>
>>54885829
rekt
>>
>>54885874
>15 foot isn't a giant, that's an ogre
Ogres are around 12 foot at most.
>>
>>54877258
Seeing as the giant is evidently too dumb to wear armor or wield a shield, you could simply pelt it with waves of arrows.
>>
>>54877692
But I want to sip the Lady instead
>>
>>54880188
>Fucker of Queens.
heh
>>
>>54883108

just fucking kill him already holy shit

If I ever get like that I want death
>>
>>54877258
Conscript the local peasants as archers (if they have bows and can shoot) and spearmen. Spears engage it while archers shoot it up.
>>
Lance through a vital organ/artery? Hell, lance through the gut would lead to an excruciating death.
>>
>>54877963
Underrated.
>>
http://www.dfst.org/en/stories/304

Just like Meatgod
>>
>>54885829
Jealous you didn't think of it first, brainlet?
>>
>>54877258
a fucking bow? How big is this giant, and is it different that humans other than size? You can get quite a bit of penetration with a longbow, I don't see how it couldn't kill a giant if it gets it in the lungs or heart or face.
>>
>>54877258

You run.

https://youtu.be/hqQH4dqS2SY
>>
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>>54877258

It's pretty canon in D&D that instead of giants being so kind and polite as to come up to you and let you cut up their legs, they like to get up on a hill and destroy you by throwing 50 pound boulders hundreds of feet one after another.
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but one must consider the possibilities, as in what kind of fantasy giant are we dealing with? if it was a low fantasy, making pit traps with sharpen wooden stakes at the bottom, going full Vietcong mode then it the cocksucker it some sort of spears/halberds or fire tipped arrows until he dies, if it is high fantasy anything works but personally i would use something like a cleaver or great axe with poison or acid enchantments and just go to town on the huge fucker.
>>
>>54877258
>Knight
use the ability Crack the Shell
man 4e is great
>>
hire the local trapmaker, tell him to make a pike trap of the size required for the job (the trap has to be resistant enough to support a human) , gather some men armed with javelins or long spears, finally you will need a volunter to lead the giant to the trap, if you have archers tell them to aim to the eyes of the beast, his bones are problably very thick
>>
>>54877642
dinosaurs seemed to do alright in warm weather
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>>54877258
>easily
>>
>>54877258

>with a scorpion or ballista.
>>
You imagine it's something non-threatening like a windmill and then tilt at it.
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With his lightsaber.
>>
By being really badass, of course
>>
only semi related but my favorite Witcher short story is the one where the brave chivalrous knight that kills as many monsters as Geralt does gets effortlessly owned by a Gold Dragon
>>
>>54877258
Flying mount, magic sword. Done.
>>
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>>54877282
Could a mere monkey defeat a god?
>>
>>54877258
>How could a Knight kill a giant?
With a sword or lance, generally.
>>
Trick it into falling off a cliff. Most giants aren't too smart.
Alternatively, if you're really good, talk it into killing itself.
>>
>>54889499
Cold blooded though.
>>
>>54890120
Looks like someone else knows Don Quixote.
>>
>>54880385
The fianna had more honour than any of the cucked kings knights.
>>
>>54877282
MONKEY NANDAYO
>>
>>54885874
It also depends on the type of giant. Are we talking greek titan giant, or Andre the Giant, uh, giant.

A big ass dude could just be taken down with a sword. However a titan who can walk over mountains like small hills would basically be impossible for anything sort of an army or something with insanely powerful magic/ poison.

Then again, lets say they feel the same level of pain for their size as we do. A normal human can't get shot without armor and continue, they will be seriously crippled instantly through shock alone. So, if a giant had a cannon ball blow through it's leg or chest, it would take serious damage and probably topple instantly.

Giants overall are supposed to be way tankier even if they were scaled up humans anyways, so I'm just being technical by this point.
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>>54877258
Stop this nonsense at once, that's no giant, it's just a windmill.
>>
>>54885829
Well fucking said.
>>
>>54880858

I've always liked Gawain for the whole Sun thing myself
>>
>>54892728
windmills? CHAAAAAAARGE
asterix.jpg
>>
>>54877258
An elaborate plan that involves oil and fire
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>>54891951
Yes. Several times in fact.
>>
>>54877258
Assume the standard giant castration position;
Bury your head in his bollocks and slash wildly.
Worked against Ornstein.
>>
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>>54877280
did someone say my name?
>>
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>>54894262
But they will never be.. perfect.
>>
Pull an Odysseus and do it while he sleeps?

I mean, as long as it's armoured, it shouldn't be too hard to cut the tendons if you have help and a distraction.
>>
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>>54890753
Grappling hooks and thermal detonators also help.
>>
I used to know how, killing them for my fare lady Desdemona, but then some shithead with a fucking mirror showed up and I've lost the skill. >:(
>>
>>54883032
>Also, female giants.

Female giants (giantesses) tend to be the same size as human women.

In fact I think "ogre" and "ogress" would be more accurate terms for Arthurian giants, since ogres can be human sized, only cannibalistic.

Except that doesn't work either, since ogres tend to know magic, while Arthurian giants are more just brutal cannibals who work for the Romans and terrorize Cornwall.
>>
>>54877258
Historicly accurate knights are trained for archery and spear work. David wrecked Goliath with ranged combat and a traditionally trained knight would account for needed excess mobility. Fantasy plays the same.
>>
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>>54877258
By commanding a stand* of crossbowmen, duh.

> * stands are a unit of 130 to 170 armed men on foot , a forerunner of the modern company. Not the JoJo type.
>>
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>>54877258
very carefully
>>
>>54877258
If it's armored, then the best option is to turn around and go home.
>>
>>54877258
Tire it out by dodging its attacks since by virtue of gravity its energy costs of movement will be significantly higher then execute it. Would have to be a flawless victory though.
>>
>>54885829
So you choose to ignore fundamental physics in regards to creatures of giant size simply because it's too difficult for you to wrap your head around it, but still want to entertain debate a fundamentally scientific debate on how to cripple and kill a creature based off of its biology? Reducing the problem to "it's fake, stop taking it so seriously" renders this whole discussion pretty pointless doesn't it?
>>
>>54899932
Discussing giant biology while ignoring the magical aspects isn't discussing giant biology at all.
>>
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I can't believe it's taken you guys more than 150 posts to state the obvious.
A knight can kill a giant with their superior speed and agility!
Thread posts: 159
Thread images: 35


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