Meanwhile in the 1980s

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Okay guys, we're making a fantasy movie.

Schlub of an employee 1: go round up some guys at the bus shelter to get most of the cast, you can splurge on some guy out of acting school or kid from a local theater group if you must.
Schlub of an employee 2: go to Fabric-World, a toy shop, a hardware store and get your granny to sew up some medieval style clothes.
Schlub of an employee 3: Get some paper mache and old furniture and rent some fairground to make our castle of wonders
Schlub of an employee 4: Go down to the film school and get one of their D average graduates to direct the film, another to work the camera and another to make the masks.
Schlub of an employee 5: Make some sandwiches while we shoot.

You got $100,000 to make this pile of crap to dump on local cable and peddle to those weirdo basement dwellers. Now if you excuse me I got an appointment with Mr Nakimura.