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>playing 5e
>entire party are tieflings trying to take back their home from a demon lord
>barbarian, warlock, two fights, and tinkle the bard
>put everything into perform and diplomacy
>can play the flute like a god
>start in the main rebel base
>informed by the leader (who is a demon orc) that we need to go and take a mine from the demon to cripple his metal or something
>we head over to the mine with a small squad
>the plan is to make a distraction to draw out most of the guards then lock them and slaughter whoever is inside
>im the distraction
>go to the front gates of the mine
>bang on the doors
>two shadowy imp things climb onto the ramparts and start screeching at me
>i pull out my flute
>i roll to play
>16
>the demons start bobbing their heads and are getting pretty into it
>they start calling other imps over
>have to roll again
>7 (with my bonuses)
>some don't really like it, but the majority are having a blast
>party and patrol sneak into the mines
>map looks like the silvermine mountains from urealms
>they find the demon in control of the mines
>guy is apparently the dumbest motherfucker you've ever seen
>warlock mimics his voice as an imps and manages to distract him
>party sneaks up on him
>all roll for attack
>12
>7
>19
>1
>ohfuck.jpg
>everyone manages to score a hit except warlock
>warlock tries to banish the demon but ends up ripping a portal in space allowing cthulhu creatures through
>imps hear this and leave me to go check it out
>i climb over the ramparts and see the party and imps are getting fucking destroyed
>stand on the ramparts
>i roll to play my flute
>barb is already making a new character sheet before combat is even done
>roll a nat 20
>everyone stops what they're doing to listen my flute playing
>manage to fascinate every demon and eldritch creature in the mine
>demon decides to join us
>chtulhu men tell me that im a reincarnation of pan the beast-thing of the woods
>cool
>take over the mine none die
Wanna hear more tg?
>>
>>54792272
>Wanna hear more tg?
No
>>
>Wanna hear more tg?
Sure, I'd like to see where this is going.
>>
>>54792754
>>54792884
you got it
>gain skill in eldritch magics
>can make people go crazy by playing my flute (can also summon small goat-like things)
>warlock is trying to figure out how to contact elder gods instead of demons now
>clings to tinkle like glue
>demon orc guy tells us we did a fantastic job getting the mine
>he also tells me that im in charge of contacting other eldritch shit for allies
>just wanna play my flute
>we are then given another mission to take over some farms and a tiny castle
>we're given a small force of men to command for each farm and then ordered to regroup at the castle
>decline the small army and settle with my trusty flute
>contact hastur for a set of new cloths and a new flute
>hastur is a bro and decides to give me those exact things
>oh whats this on the side of the flute
>fuck yellow sign
>now have a to make roll saves every day to not scribble the sign down everywhere
>only have a 3 in will
>sweating.gif
>get to the farm days before the rest get to theirs
>the place is a pretty big hamlet
>almost a town
>tell the guards that "greet" me that im a traveling musician
>"would you like to hear some of my newest tunes good sirs?"
>"yeah sure"
>roll
>13
>unnatural 20
>they all make will saves
>almost all fail
>dm "so your music puts them in a dream like trance and they are now your slaves"
>oh.
>start singing
>put orders in my song
>"sir william and the willow tree go down to the crick toshitinthewatersupply"
>all my slaves go off to do just that
>being praised by both peasant and guard for my wonderful musical skills
>dm "roll please"
>"ok?" roll
>2
>dm "you feel a need to scribble down the yellow sign"
>nearest thing is the leader of this little hamlet
>people watch in horror as i jump on him
>pull out my dagger
>and begin to carve a strange symbol into his forehead flesh
>scream for my slaves to come back to me
>will take 4 turns to get back to me
>summon my goatmen and prepare for combat
>tbc
>>
>get shit initiative and go last
>combat starts with the guards royally fucking my shit up putting me down to half health
>all non slaved peasants destroy my goatmen in one turn and a nat 20
>my turn
>i play my flute
>enslave a guard, two peasants, and make the leader go mad
>use my movement to run the fuck towards my slaves
>will now only take two turns for them to get to me
>see a big burly man
>dm says in his deepest voice
>GREETINGS DEMONSPAWN I AM FORMER PALADIN YURI AND I AM HERE TO DESTROY YOU FOR THE GRACE OF GOD
>ohfuck
>he strait up throws his giant lumberjack axe at me
>it hits a stone wall and embeds itself in it
>guards and peasants catch up with me
>summon more goatmen and run away
>i end up getting cornered a minute later and am about to die
>i suddenly see a small hoard of peasants approach from the rear of the mob
>all of them have their pants down
>everything is exposed
>they begin attacking the mob all while yelling SAVE THE MASTER
>holy shit
>play my flute
>1
>aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>they all snap out of the trance and come to their senses
>arent half naked anymore
>in the confusion i snatch a peasant girl
>hold knife to her throat
>begin to slowly back off
>have to roll a grapple every turn
>fuckfuckfuck
>contact hastur
>hastur is a bro
>tell him to get me out of here
>he suddenly cuts contact and leave me alone
>girl manages to get out of my grasp
>hits me with a rock
>3hp
>mob catches up
>paladin holds out his arms and yells
>DAISY COME TO ME
>she moves for a second then ceases all movement
>suddenly she is blasted with a yellow light and hastur floats above her
>everyone including me makes a will save
>i make it but most of the peasants do not
>all of them go mad
>including the paladin
>also enslaved
>the rest run off
>tbc
>>
>i take over the farm and take the girl for myself
>hastur binds her soul to me and goes off
>what a bro
>send a raven to the orc demon guy and start making my way to the castle
>last one there
>everyone blitzed through their farms
>we have the castle surrounded
>making plans
>we'll dress up as servants and infiltrate the castle
>surprisingly we dress up as servants and infiltrate the castle
>can finally live out my dream of being a cute maid grill
>cracking jokes the entire time for "moral"
>serving food to the king
>SO HOW BOUT THAT CARAVAN FOOD
>he chuckles
>WHY IS EVERYONE SCARED OF BEHOLDERS? I HOLD BEES ALL THE TIME
>continue this
>become official court jester
>i play my flute
>15
>manage to open a small rift in the courtroom allowing the small eldritch goatmen to swarm into the room
>part opens the gate
>we take the castle
thats all im writing for right now
ill happily share the rest of my stories of tinkle another day but now i must sleep
thanks for listening tg
>>
>>54793706
Thanks for the OC
>>
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>>54792272
You'd better actually be playing as a D&D Jester and not a bard Jester Anon.
There's a massive fucking difference.
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