Girls of /tg/, Would you marry a Space Marine?

>>54769389
>asexual barely functional brainwashed killing machine
But really the biggest issue here is
>girls of /tg/

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>>54769389
>Girls

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>>54769389

>>54769389
>literally incapable of fucking me
>only able to appreciate my positive qualities in the most abstract, detached sense because none of my positive qualities involve murdering shit
>Will be drawn away from me 95% of the time to go fight shit
>will either die early from horrible xenos/heretics/whatever or he'll get really good at his job and outlive me by 300 years.

Yeah, sure, why not?

>>54769408

/thread

>>54769389
This makes me miss 1st ed. Political marriages between astartes and nobles/inquisitors is a cool idea to play with. And now putting a beautiful woman on my chapter master's command plinth makes no sense.

>>54770231
I saw early editions stats and sheets, there were always names there.
Was rogue trader such a paradise?

>>54770186
>literally incapable of fucking me
When will this meme end? The fucking Space Yiffs are living proof that Space Marines can get it on, it's just that most of them choose not to because it distracts from being the Emperor's killing machines.

>>54770387
He's not going to.
>using the yiffs as an example of typical space marines

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>>54769389

>>54769389
I'm not a man nor am I a homosexual. So no, I would not.

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>girls
>on the internet

Sure is 1995 in here

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>>54770387

>>54770387
There is literally zero cannon examples of a marine, even a wolf, fucking a woman. Yes, Ragnar and Lukas both fucked chicks, but that was BEFORE they became marines. As far as I know the only examples we have in canon of marines being attracted to human women are Bjorn macking on that inquisitor in Emperor's Gift, and Ragnar's NOTgirlfriend Inquisitor acolyte in his second book.

>>54770864

I agree with you that, base on the sources, Marines are definately not able to have sex. Still, your pic oesn't prove that. Not being able to reproduce does not equal you cannot smash.

>>54769389
>girls

>>54769416
Wouldn't a large member be a bit of a detriment, given how common melee combat is in 40k? Especially with all the Slaaneshi shit out there. I'd imagine the physical enhancements would stray away from enhancing the size of a Marine's Johnson, given that they aren't really supposed to be using it all that much. They'd end up with a rod more normal compared to the average human but proportionally small for the Marine's standard size.

What about Girl (male)?

>>54771595
Slaanesh get the fuck out of here.

>>54770659
Waaaait - did you mean "but" instead of "so"?

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>>54769389
Ohhh, cripes, who is this lady? I remember her being significant to the Word Bearers and I was just thinking of her but her name escapes me

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>>54769389
To be honest, I always chalked the cock idea up to be due to them cutting it off to make room for augs and other stuff, or the fact that their augs would make their cock explode if they got a bone-
Actually wait, how the fuck do they make TEST if their dicks don't work? There's some fuck ass retarded shit going on here, a good reason why the Emperor's children went the way they did because they didn't really have outlets, and most importantly, history has told us the dangers of extreme sexual repression, hell, functioning cocks keep people's heads from exploding due to redirection of blood flow, so what the fuck Emps?

The only reason for infertility is their immense beefhueging renders them infertile in a similar manner to a female body builder doing the same thing with roids, in that they become SO MEATY that rubbing one out sinply doesn't work because the muscles have been BEEFGHUEGED to a limit where they can't support themselves, reducing sensitivity greatly, next to the fact that the prostate isn't large enough to shoot a large enough suppy of goo that could make it through the dick and shaft and whatnot due to the size, MEATINESS AND HOW FRAGILE, THIN AND STRETCHED OUT the dick must actually be when sized up to that limit.

Think foreskin restoration, with the stretching techniques, but instead a person's actual unirnal tract/orther reproductive organs could not keep up with the gainz and end up fundamentally damaged.

There's also the matter of what surgeries sort out hernias in marines from BEEFHUEGing with the dick problems and how Zinc and all the other important chemicals are rewired and added to support the biological enviroments and whatnot.

Additionally, one of the new Primaris Organs causes this weird full body Orgasm thing.

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>>54771678
But yeah, in all honesty, I'd say The nonworking Beeflargemchueg cock is chalked up to the fact that the Primarch project, and the Space marines were last-minute rush-jobs with little thought or effort put into them, barring Emps using Psychich buffs to make the skill checks to get something doable out of the situation, butt-rushing across the galaxy to grab as much pussy as possible solely because he didn't have the time to wait on dear old 'Fate' To leave his sons alone or anything else, The Great Crusade was a massive undertaking in itself, and he overstretched his goals to the Webway and set THAT as his goal marker, you know, opposed to consolidating his power after he left his boys in charge, seeing as there were many hiccups along the way.

>>54769389
why just girls ? why can't i marry a tall qt female space marine ?

>>54771861
Because even if they did exist, your pelvis would be dust.

>>54769389

No.
But give me a Sister of Battle any day.

>Girls of /tg/,
Borderline /soc/ tier soliciting

>>54769389
aren't they basically eunuchs?

This will be a great thread.

>>54771931
but Anon that doesn't matter because
All is dust!

>Marrying a marinelet
Top kek OP

>>54771653
Marines are big gays is what I meant.

>>54771582
From a combat standpoint it would make sense if their external genetailia were removed and replaced with a synthetic or organic catheter type deal. Dicks bleed a lot when hurt, and there's a ton of nerves there. There's not really a reason to keep one around if you're already overhauling the marine's endocrine system.

>>54771765
>>54771678
The TL;DR is strong with this one.

>>54769408
/Thread

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>>54770864
>Baser drives being re-channeled towards aggression, goal acquisition and the fulfillment of duty

Well you heard it here folks. Angry marines are angry because they are sexually frustrated. They are sexually frustrated marines.

>>54769408
FPBP

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>>54772131
Up, I see says the blind man.

>>54771582
>>54772235
No, it's canon that space marines are absolutely hung. The Primarchs had dicks apparently that were so large that they reached their knees while flaccid.

Don't ask why I know this.

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>>54771672

H̦̥͈͙͇̣e̤̖͓̦͎̱͘ͅl͢l̦̬̞͙̭̝̫o̭̹̕,̸͍ ̖͍͍s͕l̤̰̦̭a͚̥͖̜͡v̙̦̖̱̭̗e̞͙͍̠̟͜ ̞̰̬͞of̫̪̬̮ ̴̼͇t̛͚͔̪̟͔̮h̡̝̬e̮͕͡ ̻c̩̥̫͞o̧͎̣ͅr͚̞̠͓̱̮p̡͉͓̤̯͈̫s͈̠e͚̤͙̮͇̕-̬͚͉͍ͅͅE̩̤̗͉m̱̦̞per̢͈͓̣̣̱o̶͔̻͚̭̻r.̟̯̪̠̘̕ ̴̟͖͖̭D̬͕̱o̘͞ṱ̤͙̟̟͙͞h̻͙̪͚̳͢ ̘̟̤t̡̖̹͔̙͙h̻̜̻̖o̗̪͉͇͚̞͙͡u̯͇̠̥ h̙̠͓͓̞̫͘a̖̬͕̞̺͎̘͜v̫͓̰̜̱͔͖͞ḛ̹͙̭̝͟ ̥͔̮a͔͝ ͕̺f̥̱̰̦̙̕e͎̜͠w̧̫̞͎͔̪̱ ͖͚͈̠̦̮̕s̤̩̜̟̹p̞̩̹͔̺a̻͎͙̙̰̘r̗̣̻͘e̤̭̜͔̕ͅ ̴̘̳̟̙̻̪m̤͈̫̱̞͓̺o̡̹̖̤m̱̯e̻͟n̙͓ț͎̬͙̝s̫͙̳ ̞͕͡t̷̖̩͉͖͓o͖͎͎̩͙ ͉̖̮̭͍̖͚h̥e͠a̴̖̯̙r̩ ͓̠̫͢ͅth̛͍e͈͍͍̭̹̪ ͎̤̰̙W̞̖̳̹ͅó͍͓̰̱ͅŗ͖̼̜̥͚̙d͙̯͝ ̬͈̫͕́ͅo͚f͓ ̬̠ͅL̟̣͚͜o̜͖̣͚̱r̰͚̗̱̼̯͜ͅg̖̭̮͘a̶̦̫r̫̝͚̠͈?͇́ ̯͜

>>54770864
Marines are chemicaly castrated because of the chromosone manipulation (addition of extra Y chromosome) effecting the production of potentialy procreatable sperm. They are by definition sterile. The bollucks and benis is still there but they are incapable of procreating with it. Tack on the hypnotherapy and you have warrior monks woth no sex drive as they were intended to be.

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>>54773371
Blessed woman, blinded by fate, give us madness, teach us hate
Thanks a load, just looked her up. Warms the abysses of my heart that the Word Bearers called a mortal blessed.

>>54773271
Fulgrim doesn't count.

>>54769389
/40kg/ seems to suggest they prefer genestealers

>>54773797
Not Fulgrim, Perturabo. Whose cock was not only knee-length, but hammer shaped.

>>54769389

Only if I can guarantee it's a Salamander. I'm certainly not giving up black dick.

>>54770387

They don't. It's just part of their culture. See, the Space Wolves don't ACTUALLY need to do any of this. It's just their society. They have big feasts and big toasts because that's how they believe they should behave.

It's like, even their Wolf Priests are highly educated. Most of them don't really believe all that mumbo-jumbo, but they pretend they do to play up their role. Same for Leman Russ, who was deliberately cosplaying as Conan the Barbarian for most of his life, to hide the fact that he didn't really like his job.

>>54771061
>Bjorn macking on that inquisitor in Emperor's Gift,
So manly he rewrote his own conditioning and biology just to hit on a chick he couldn't fuck because he's' a cripple.

>>54773960
>girl.
obligatory
no bully

>>54771061
Gulliman's eldar waifu

and before you get uppity primarchs are space marines

>>54769389
Do Spess Marines get BAH/BAS?

>>54774005
Out of all the chapters the Salamanders are the only ones who have canonical families they spend time with, and now that the salamanders have primaris descendants there's about to be a lot more of them.

>>54774079
Damn, I like that, wish it wasn't just headcanon.

Grillz like Boys, not gitz

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>>54773771
Still kinda ticked that all we got out of the most recent book she was in was a cliffhanger. And her demeanor after being resurrected was a bit of a letdown too - I was expecting some sort of Be’lakor-tier greater daemoness of ruin, made of rage, sorcery, giga-plagues and libido, a fanatic with Aku's sense of humor. Instead we got...meh. Oh well.

>>54775874
You dare defile the memory of the blessed lady with your smut?!

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>>54773996
>>54773797
>>54773271
>>54771582
>>54769416
>>54769389
>Primarchs have cocks that go from waist to knee when flaccid
So thats around three feet long flaccid, assuming these marines are showers not growers, thats still larger than most horses

Forget what porn and or Slaanesh tells you
Women, normal human women DO NOT go for cocks longer than 8''
After that point it becomes a goddamn cervical battering ram and it leaves a pain
it is not a good pain

Emperor preserve us if they are growers

>>54769389
>Would you marry a Space Marine?
Depends on the chapter
Though it seems like a cool idea at first having an astarte husbando, they are already married to their job, and likely wouldn't have time for a comitted relationship with all the praying, training, and fighting considering how they are stretched so thin across the galaxy.
Also unless the cocks aren't proportional thats gonna be an issue. I cannot fit a goddam soda can up there. I am not a vending machine.

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>>54769389
no

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>>54775920
Meh, that's someone else' conversion. Were it up to me I would have used pic related.

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>>54769389
Can I choose a primarch?

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>>54769389
Yes
One in particular
I CATO SICARIUS THINK THIS IS A SPLENDID IDEA! THAT I CATO SICARIUS AM PERFECTLY SUITED FOR THIS POSITION! AND I CATO SCIARIUS WILL BE THE BEST HUSBANDO IMAGINABLE!

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>>54775974
That's why women get modified to do that

>>54769389
Gon be a deviant and say yes. In a fucking heart beat, I fawn over them a lot.

>>54776167
Question is femanon
which chapter?

>>54769389
I wouldn't marry a loyalist, cause he'd likely purge me within a day, but a slaaneshi marine, sure.

>>54776049
>>54775974
Now THIS is a reason for Female Space Marines. The Space Marines of the Imperium of Man have had to resort to Fucking:

1) Each other
2) Ogryn Whores
3) A supersized version of whatever the AdMech fuck. Probably a Servitor plugged into a Whore-bot, hooked up to a female voice synthesizer, and all the pleasure centers turned to max.

Now someone write me a story about one of the latter two.

>>54776005
>>54769389
>Though it seems like a cool idea at first having an astarte husbando, they are already married to their job, and likely wouldn't have time for a comitted relationship with all the praying, training, and fighting considering how they are stretched so thin across the galaxy.
This, hate to say it but an Astarte doesn't exactly seem like an emotionally committed partner

>>54776190
>Now someone write me a story about one of the latter two.
Fucking hell dude no
I've written cultist chan smut and even I won't touch that
okay on second thought a story about a female AdMech falling for a space marine and building a robo-thing for him to fuck sounds like it could be equal parts horrifying, hilarious, and romantic.

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>>54776190
>2) Ogryn Whores

>>54776217
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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>>54776190
Space marines have to resort to fucking each other

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>>54776227
PS: the image

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>>54776217
DO IT. Make it a pic-related romance.

>>54776155

never seen that one, fucking top kek

>>54776227
Too late. I like the idea.
"Don't you like it?" The voice sounded from the darkness as the horrible writhing mass of flesh was lowered onto his throbbing shaft. The engine block stuck into the mass of flesh suddenly roared to life as it began convulsing on him. Straining against the chains trying to ignore the waves of pleasure coursing through his body, he cried into the darkness through gritted teeth.

>>54776174
I got interested in 40k Lore because my brother used to play it at home with his friends and got invested into DoW.

Choosing is hard but I would love a pre-hesersy Luna Wolves, Iron Fists or Lamenters. I'm a stickler for broken hearts, not implying that all their troubles will go away when I marry one and get fucked primally with some hot astares dickings.

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>>54776155

>>54776224
I feel like in some way that's child abuse.

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>>54776239
>>54776253
>Franken fran esque AdMech kidnapping an astartes and subjecting him to sexual experiments trying to please him

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>>54776268
>>54776253
>>54776239
>>54776217
Make him an ultramarine or an Imperial fist

>>54776254
Post heresy though?
blood Angels for me. Broken hearted angelic superhumans with a dark streak

>>54776287
No, do all the major chapters and have it be a series of experiments. I wanna see a Magpie steal an orgasm.

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>>54776256
>>54776155
>>54776118
>And then Rogal Dorn says this in bed

>>54776314
>>54776287
Writefag here
Takes me a few weeks to spit out a 10 page smut, but I'm intrigued by this idea.
I like this idea of multiple marine chapters, the Admech perhaps becoming fascinated with the differences between them? Or crushing on each one for small periods of time?
Does she eventually release them and they stagger out into the wilderness?
Do some of them want to find her again?

https://pastebin.com/e6mk3uk2
Here, chew on the most recent addition

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>>54776314
>I wanna see a Magpie steal an orgasm.
Thank you for this anon, my sides are gone.

>>54776302
You mean the Black Legion or the Sons of Horus? Sure why not, but could you imagine marrying a chaos marine? I respect your vampire dude-choice.

>>54776227
Yes
"You will not get away with..." His protests were cut off again as the engine block stuck within the mass of muscle and organs shifted gears and spewed out a cloud of black smoke. The wet muscle contracting around his meaty shaft began caressing the bottom side of his cock, rubbing up and down the sensitive tube as a separate set swirled around the head. (Admech) watched from the darkened room eagerly, the feedback loops measuring his pleasure fed into the molded rubber shaft slowly pumping in and out of her. Her own fluids dripped down the shaft as she saw her lover writhe in pleasure under the machine she build while her own pleasure pulsed through her. He shouted and the machine began making is grinding noises as it collected his gene seed flowing through the clear pipes. She watched in anticipation as it was pumped out of him, and directly to her own pleasure device. The straps around her waist locked as per her design, forcing it deep within her, its head sliding back and forth just outside of her womb. She caressed the screen, looking at her Astarte lover through the camera lens as he collapsed against his restraints in exhaustion.

>>54776375
Writefag here
>Blood Magpie sneaks into lady Admech's lab, finds restrained space marine on the milking table.
>Rescues him, steals his helmet and pulls the old switcheroo
>strapping himself to the machine for "reasons"
I can dig it

>>54776421
Blood angels, still loyalists
And no, chaos marines would scare me

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>>54776322

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>>54776449
>it collected his gene seed flowing through the clear pipes

God damn anon, put some fucking quotation marks on there, it reads like she's actually sucking his actual gene-seed, as in from the progenoid organs in his chest and neck, out through his weenus.

It's making me think Cronenbergian thoughts that I do not want.

>>54776544
My bad, I meant she's piping his man gravy directly into her via a dieselpunk sex toy thats currently stuck about 6'' inches into her and a series of thousand year old pipes.

That make you feel better?

>>54776518
>For fucks sake indeed father
>That is why want to go fast
>Do you have any advice for me father?
>I wish to please my newfound mate but I do not wish to crush her

>>54776573
It doesn't make me unsee what I have seen, but it will have to do.

>>54775446

But this is what actually happens in Prospero Burns. It's repeated many times, like when Constantine goes "Leman Russ, I understand you like pretending to be Conan, but I don't think-" and Russ goes "I was just trolling you. I was actually hoping you'd try to fight me."

Or when Kasper asks a Rune Priest "What are you looking at?" and the Rune Priest goes "Oh, the shaping of Fate. The mutterings of the Wyrd." right before he says "Actually, I'm just watching you fret."

>>54771931
Death by snu snu?

>>54776601
Okay, glad you are consoled by the image of a crazed Admech with a powertool up her cooch getting pumped full of space marine spunk that's being forcefully extracted by the fusion of a 1980s oldsmobile and a side of beef spasming around his cock.

>>54776348
>>54776449
Huh. this is the second time this has happened
This >>54776314, This
>>54776239, and This >>54776190 guy here.

The last time, Batavi-anon started writing Love and Krieg.

>>54776730
>Love and Krieg.
That wasn't me
I wrote a Cultist chan smut, a Cuddles smut, and a Nada smut
I need to get off Mr. Culexus characters so I think this one will be good for me.

>>54776762
Yeah, I'm saying this is the second time a writefag decided they liked one of my ideas.

Looking forward to it, but make sure it has some absolutely fluffy, sugary, lovey moments to it to. Good Porn gets you off, but great porn makes you feel.

>>54776782
Actually, clarification, Batavi didn't get the idea from me, he'd just been writing it on his own, but needed motivation to post it.

>>54776782
>Good Porn gets you off, but great porn makes you feel.
Agreed

>Make sure it has some absolutely fluffy, sugary, lovey moments to it to.
Well, Franken Fran esque admech has to be in pursuit of "true love" or something to that effect

>>54776905
>>54776782
https://pastebin.com/YHqg02rG
My cuddles smut was more "sugary" than the cultist one, primarily because I wrote cultist as a tad bit sadistic. True to character I believe.

>>54776925
>cultist as a tad bit sadistic
No shit

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>>54769389
No. Having someone marry you only for them to go off doing whatever for thousands of years until you die doesn't sound like an awesome experience.

There are also *other* complications.

>>54769389
Fuck no.

They're deformed and asexual.

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>this thread

>>54776600
Turns out Rogal wears several condoms at once because "the best offence is a good defence."

Peturabo: "DARE YOU FUCK MY NEWEST DEMONIC WAIFU OF PERPETUAL PAIN! EVEN I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET INSIDE THIS ONE!"

>>54777673
source?

>>54778128
Gave me a hearty Kek

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>>54772512
>They are sexually frustrated marines.
Fuck it, from this moment forward, as far as I'm concerned, Space Marines are only great warriors because they have just one long case of blue balls and they're pissed.

>>54776544
This is perfect and needs to be canon right fucking now

>>54778308
Don't forget about Rogals Magic Pain Glove.

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>>54771861

>>54778505
Oh god you know what this means?
The relic in their monastery the one they kiss and carve their names?
I wanted to write something about it but just had the biggest fucking blank, i'm surprised i even remember my name.

>>54778544
>The relic in their monastery the one they kiss and carve their names?
"I do not want that hand back any more."
This shit writes itself.

"I've still got- NINE MILLIONZ OV UGS TA GIVE YA POLTRY BOY! C'MERE YA GIT!"

>>54778561
I wasn't talking about his hand.

>>54778573
I know.
Do not worry little friend of silver, the hugs shall come for you as well, I will see to that.

>>54775974
>>54775974
>Women, normal human women DO NOT go for cocks longer than 8''
>When you want to post dragon dildo porn to shut thisnigga up but can't because blue board

>>54778265

John K Pe-Ta - the Bitch and the Magnum

>>54774079
>Same for Leman Russ, who was deliberately cosplaying as Conan the Barbarian for most of his life, to hide the fact that he didn't really like his job.

Which book is that in? I've never really found Russ that interesting, so haven't touched any of the 30k Wolves stuff, but the idea that most of his NOBLE SAVAGE dipshittery was just an act is pretty intriguing.

>>54778612
In his defence, most of the DD porn has them taking them in the ass, the big ones like the Dragon and up.
But you are completely right.

>>54770231
Eh, you could still do that now.

A chaoter that recruits from a fuedal world and whos members retain any noble titles they had pre recruitment. Particular noble lines produce a disproportionate number of viable recruits because of eugenics.

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>>54776224
Heyy pretty boy ya want some ridin' with mama ? come hug !

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>>54779486
Well, it's gotta be someone's fetish.

Fuck the canon let's use The Flick Wh40k lore to continue.

>>54777673
>BATTLE BROTHER! ASSIST ME!
>WHAT IS IT BATTLE BEROTHER?
>MY NEW HUMAN WIFE HAS DIED HONORABLE BATTLE BROTHER
>OH NO! HOW?!
>I DO NOT KNOW!
>DID YOU LEAVE ENOUGH FOOD FOR HER?
>I DID! I LEFT A MERE 300 YEARS AGO FOR A SHORT WAR AND WHEN I CAME BACK SHE WAS DEAD!
>HOW HORRIBLE AND UNEXPECTED!
>I KNOW!

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>>54779950
>/ourslav/

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>>54779500

>>54779973
Yeah god bless this Ivan.
Why is it they make the best smut ?

>>54769389
They're space warrior monks.
If they weren't impotent, they'd probably be a gay confraternity, taking the young acolytes as their catamites.

>>54769389
No. What's good about having mentally ill "hurr durrr need kill shit for the emprah" manchild as husband?

>>54780787

They be bad boys

>>54769389
Haha, no. I don't play 40k, but space marines look so dumb.

>>54778639

Prospero Burns, by Dan Abnett. It reveals that the Rout (as they're called) are actually based on vikings, not Wolves, and they're very different.

The entire book is a reference to the 13th Warrior (or rather, the real-life Arab scribe who interacted with the Norsemen) and it's implied that this was deliberately done by the manipulator behind it all.

>>54778612
>normal

>>54778612
I wouldn't really call dragon dildo porn normal for the average woman, anon