IF you had a gaming secretary, how would you put her to use?

My DM has a gaming secretary, it's me. Since I'm the most invested player in the party, I keep the quest log, the money log, the brief recaps of our sessions, the rogues gallery (you know, just in case you forgot who that NPC is, again) and stuff like that.
I do it for free.

>>54718733
Move the enemies on the other side of the table for me.

Make her DM so I don't have to.

It's my goal to reach the kind of career that affords me a secretary or maid. Preferably both. For one I could unload the mundane tasks on them, two it could make me give up shitposting on 4chan because I would be ashamed to when other people are around.

>>54718786
>When you become so lazy, you delegate shitposting on /pol/ to your secretary

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>>54718733

>and as you turn the corner, you see standing I the door, none other than.... erm...

"Hey Susan what was the na.e of the handling from the last town... right right"

>"None other than *forgotten name*"

>>54718733
To keep the players away from me until I'm ready to deal with them.

>>54718733
Have her infiltrate as one of the players, play a critical class in the campaign, and ensure the railroads are kept on track. In return, I give her money, bonus XP, powerful items and plot armor.

>>54718813
No, really, it might help me break the vicious circle.
>need to wash dishes
>I'll just check /tg/ for a bit
>stay there for an hour because I subconsciously try to avoid such boring and mundane task that is dishwashing
>same problem with paperwork
If I could skip both of those and move on to something more productive, it would be swell.

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>>54718733
I would pay her to play games with me, I guess.

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Ask her kindly to make globes of your worlds--if you know what I mean.

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>>54718733
Load stat blocks into Excel or something similar.
Tag rules in the two systems I'm currently running for quick reference.
Issuing confirmation emails or appointments to players to make sure they are on time.
Pic related.

>>54718733
Keep my hand ok her ass the entire session.

>Buy Magic cards
>Sort Magic cards
>Sleeve Magic cards
>Unbend foils
>etc.

>>54718733
First I'd tell her to stop wearing such pointy brassieres. The hell.

>>54719225
the gaming secretary mounts your head on her shoulder pads

roll a new character

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>>54719225
It could be worse.

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>>54719225

Do you have something against angles?

>>54718733
She would stand at my left shoulder and light me a cigaret before bending 90° to place it in my mouth just after I prompt my players with, "What do you do?" Her name is Béatrice.

>>54719358
you can't just post that and not provide the source

>>54719476
>file name

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>>54719476

It's a flim

>>54719476

it's literally the filename. 2002 movie.

>>54719412
My Tomb Raider fetish is acting up again.

>>54718954
You're not going to get to a level of success where you can hire a maid and a secretary without breaking that cycle of laziness and procrastination first

>>54719412
What the hell ahahaha

>>54719578
I love this movie.

>>54718733

I'd have her type up and compile all my scribblings for settings and systems I work on.

>>54719712
>I tell you Betty, transcribing crayon drawings is a hell of a thing

>>54719712
>Sir, you just wrote "tiddies" over and over again.

>>54719578
it's really not as sexy as you think it will be.

Like, there's a scene where he's on the phone with her and he's in the middle of doing nine other things, and it's like "Uh, don't touch yourself and - yeah, hold on - uh,you are allowed to eat the small salad for lunch with THRE croutons. And -" and he just goes into the minutia of directing this woman's life, but he's distracted and would rather be just *not* deal with it right now, but because he's doing this relationship thing he is obligated.