Sir, we intercepted a wizard trying to enter the city... he had

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>>54701025

Like....like was it in jars or is it actually just a backpack filled with bat dung.

>>54701025
Ah, my lunch has arrived!

>>54701066
Well it was with a lot of other weird things. He claims they are spell components... but there was just so much bat dung.

Put him with the others, Reginald. These adventurer riff raff will learn fear after a few years inside the Labyrinth!

>>54701025
Bring me his hat!

>>54701025
Sounds like a sack of shit to me, rookie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO0XSreGVHY

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>>54701079
Well if you know anything about farming, you would know that bat dung, or Guano, is a very potent ingredient in making fertile soil.

Clearly he is planning to use it to raise an army of carrot-people to serve his every whim and potentially become a fighting force to slaughter us in our beds if we cross him.

>>54701192
Sounds deliciously evil.

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>>54701025
And how did you identify it as bat dung, sergeant? Soldier, it behooves you NOT to poke into the belongings of witches, they may imperil your very soul! Now, I trust he's had the gag and finger-bindings applied?

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Bats are familiars of vampires.
Bat dung is an accursed substance o fvampire familiars.

He is clearly a necromancer attempting to spread an undead plague.
Kill him at once, burn him at the stake.

Also give me his bag.

>>54701025
Did he also have a citrus fruit, copper wire, and a small mirror with him?

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>>54701025
>bat guano
>very high sulfur content
>be a wizard myself
nope. kill him or he is gonna blow up the town

>>54701192
I was going to suggest fireball spells but carrotpeople guerrilla army is so much better.

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>he didn't take eschew materials

>>54702183
Actually, come to think of it he did.

>>54703091
It does smell a bit like sulfer. We can't just kill him for having bat poop can we?

>>54703091
How can you be so sure? I hear that dwarven metallurgists and gnomish tinkers have collaborating to install some sort of blast furnace in town and this mage may just want to help.

>>54704705
A good caster will always carry a spell component pouch anyway. Not only is it dirt cheap and weights very little, but you get the extra benefit of misdirection; watch as the common rabble tries to steal or cut your pouch from you, only to be within reach of your touch spells as they realize it was all just for show.

>wizard
>wants to fireball the city with his 1 cast per day because he had to prepare escape spells
>gets his bat guano and spellbook stolen and now he's useless
>meanwhile sorcerer master race just flies to the city and starts bombing it when feeling like it
Wizlets, when will they learn?

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Guys, I have a somewhat important question to ask. Can a wizard fist a vampire in the ass until he or she reaches guano from when the vampire was polymorphed into a bat, fulfilling the required components to cast fireball?

>>54704884
I'd allow it if the wizard passed a high enough DC escape artist check.

>>54704841
Veriaty is the spice of life.

>>54704884
>Can a Wizard [blank]
Yes

>>54701025
Well, hopefully he doesn't do anything bat-shit crazy.